And it didn't cost taxpayers a cent to learn this

A British scientist has calculated the optimum thickness for a slice of cheese to make the perfect cheese sandwich.

Being the mildly lecherous soul that I am, I'd further suggest that the perfect cheese sandwich would be served by LeeAnn in a french maid outfit with an ice-cold beer and a napkin containing one of her weird and wonderful little artwork discoveries.

It is cheese ya know.