Rocket Jones' Great Random Google Junket

It's about time, eh?

This is a special all-Stevie edition of the Google Junket, courtesy of a whole list of words submitted by our good friend Daun. These words tell a lot more about her than she's comfortable with, I'm sure. You'll see what I mean.

Let's jump right into it, eh?

gastropod + heifer
Interestingly enough, the number one hit on this combination of words is yours truly. The second is an alphabetical list of words from MIT. You can’t trust those guys, I’ve seen the movie Real Genius.

gastropod + heifer + naked
At this point, the plan was to add 'naked' or 'nekkid' to every combination and see what happened. First hit is still Rocket Jones, second is a different list of words, this time from the UK. Finally we hit paydirt! Well, not quite. I was redirected to a porn site, which I immediately backed out of, and then had to call the IT department to let them know that I wasn’t surfing for porn on company time (I’m on my lunch break). Darn it, the link looked promising too, here’s the description:

Cheech and chong action figure, pictures of animals of all over…
... boys adult naked photos. ... pictures of the sun; frog cow wolf cartoon heifer, cartoon pictures ... gastropod known for its Voyeur five letters.: msn 8.5 known issues ... www.theii.net/ precious-gems-that-are-mined-in-western-australia.html

Oops, I didn’t notice the boys adult naked photos (honest!), gotta be more careful. No more adding 'naked', that's for sure.

fistula + hedonism
Stevie dear, what the hell is wrong with you? This combo brings up a medical dictionary, a political rant site that looks suspiciously like a porn-redirect, and then four no-bones-about-it porn sites. A little further down the list (I need links, fer cryin’ out loud) is a glossary of US Naval Code Words. Now this is something that appeals to the history loving geek in me. Ignore what I said, this is neat.

A quick skim through the extensive Code Name list shows that VICTOR I, II, III, IV and V were all WWII Allied invasion landings in the south pacific, and that GLENN stood for 'domestic'. I'm assuming you're housebroken guy, although all girlfriends/wives/partners automatically assume the opposite.

custard + algebra
Now we’re getting somewhere. First up is a bookstore where you can get cookbooks (containing recipes for custard) and algebra books (containing recipes for headaches). Next is a page of education related Teachers Notes for a television program called Keep Your Balance. Neat. Everything, the Math Project. Hey, they use the word Blather. And I know what Boolean logic is. If you don’t, then look it up! Ok, I did for you. An explanation is here. Finally – for this pair of words – we find the staff listing for New Bloomfield High School in New Bloomfield, Missouri. Besides having Algebra teachers (imagine that), their attendance clerk is named Marita Custard.

zymurgy + protean
Hey, I’m number one again! That’s great news, because I’m sure gazillions of internet users search on this combination while looking for barely-legal babes. Next up though, is a site hosted on a French server, talking about a role playing game about Vampires. Third up is the same information, looks like a ghosted version on a different server. Fourth through whatever seem to be those darned alphabetized lists again.

Mainly because I’m afraid to see what naked + redneck will bring up, we'll just move right along past this one and go straight to:

mohair + redneck
Crap, this page is dismantled, and it looked good too. Redneck Miniature Bears, only 2 ½” tall, named Kilroy. Awwwww. Too bad we can't see 'em. (redneck named Kilroy?)

Now for some reason, we get into the musical portion of our entertainment.

A page about an interview with a stoner-rock group named On Trial, whose slogan appears to be “where there’s smoke, there’s smoke”. That probably sounded really profound at the time. Next is a British music company specializing in American Country albums. My favorite title is by Barbara Carr – Bone Me Like You Own Me. The Derailers sing about Mohair Sam, and Charlie Daniels chips in with the title track of Redneck Fiddlin’ Man. Music galore! An Elton John lyrics page, which for our purposes could have been shortened to two songs, because Bennie and the Jets contains mohair and Honky Cat has the redneck.

Stevie + nekkid
So sue me. Besides, we got hits. Nekkid Radio has Stevie Nicks songs on their playlist. No link because I’m at work and I don’t want to have to call IT again today. Killoggs is smart enough NOT to wave at Stevie Wonder, and proud of it. It looks like a group hive mind sorta thing. Interesting. And then Acid Man checks in, again with Stevie Nicks, but he wants to see her nekkid. Better than Stevie Wonder.

It’s become traditional to end with a truly disturbing link (well, twice in a row now), and this is one of those that might not be universally popular. Here is a review of Justin Timberlake’s release Justified. I could care less about him, but this reviewer compares him favorably to Stevie Wonder. Really? Oh yeah, he also dwells on Justin’s confession of performing oral sex on then-girlfriend Britney Spears. Sorry, I’m not impressed.

Lotta sex stuff in this go-round. Way to go Stevie!

Next time, we get:
Vaseline from Tuning Spork, who apparently didn’t learn a thing from his last word ‘saliva’.
Vainglory from Susie.
Hysterisis from Pixy Misa.
Strop from Victor, who owns two of them. He’s a perv.
Supernumerary from Jennifer.
Aberrant from Serenity (and thank you for the compliment, m'lady).

As always, leave your suggested words in the comments and we'll see where Google takes us.

Posted by Ted at October 9, 2003 01:08 PM | TrackBack