Program Comparisons

Here's a pre-release review of the new DVD about the Clinton presidency. I figured that since the gift giving season is upon us, someone might find it useful.

It might be helpful to compare the new movie to one that most everybody has already seen. The similarities to the movie Titanic are eerie.

TITANIC: $25.49 on Amazon.com.
CLINTON: $13.99 on Amazon.com.

TITANIC: Over 3 hours long.
CLINTON: Over 3 hours long.

TITANIC: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
CLINTON: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

TITANIC: Jack is a starving artist.
CLINTON: Bill is a bullshit artist.

TITANIC: In one part, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
CLINTON: Ditto for Bill.

TITANIC: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
CLINTON: Ditto for Monica.

TITANIC: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
CLINTON: Let's not go there.

TITANIC: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
CLINTON: Monica's forced to return her gifts.

TITANIC: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
CLINTON: Monica doesn't remember jack.

TITANIC: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
CLINTON: Monica...uh, never mind.

TITANIC: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
CLINTON: Bill goes home to Hillary - basically the same thing.

So there you have it. I'm not Santa Helpful, but I try to do my part. Ho.

Posted by Ted at November 22, 2003 07:34 AM
Category: Square Pegs