December 09, 2003

Turning the tables

Hello {insert name of nitwit here},

We are conducting a survey, among those who utilize email, usenet groups, and other online systems in an attempt to make money through multi-level marketing schemes, sales of "get rich quick" publications, etc.

Please take a few moments to complete the following multiple-choice survey. Your help is genuinely appreciated, and will greatly assist our project.

1. Are you aware that you're a complete and utter idiot?

_ No, I honestly had no clue.
_ Yes, I admit it - I'm a completely clueless wanker.

2. Do you really think you're the first clueless twit who thinks they've discovered a way to make money by spamming about a REVOLUTIONARY NEW CONCEPT IN INTERNET MARKETING?

_ Gosh - yes, I really thought it was something no one had thought of before.
_ No, I realize others have tried before, but in my pathetic stupidity I truly believed that I could make money where no one else had succeeded before.

3. Are you supremely confident in your ability to avoid the life-long designation as a "pathetic loser", now that you've joined the ranks of half-witted, mentally defective drool-tards who conduct this sort of activity over the internet?

_ Yes, I truly believe I'm different from all the other retards like me.
_ No, I see what you mean - I now realize that I'm destined to be known forever as the blathering, drooling, defective pants-wetter that I am.

Thanks for taking a few moments to complete our survey. Please forward to 5 people on your mailing list, and request that they each forward it on to 5 others each, etc. etc.

(c)2003, everyone on the internet. Distribute freely without charge.

Thanks to BB on the rockets newsgroup for this one!

Posted by Ted at December 9, 2003 06:48 AM
Category: Square Pegs
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