A literal description of my state of mind
A literal description of my state of mind
...in the Army, that is.
According to Avalanche Company's Sgt Stanford, SPC Schwarz was quite the soldier.
Among my favorites on the list:
16. Must get a haircut even if it tampers with my 'Sampson like powers'.33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.
34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.
44. I am not the atheist chaplain.
61. If one soldier has a 2nd Lt bar on his uniform, and I have an E-4 on mine It means he outranks me. It does not mean ‘I have been promoted three more times than you'.
84. Must not use military vehicles to ‘Squish' things.*
Ya know, I could go on and on. Just go read the darn list.
I don't remember where I found this, if it was from your site, let me know so I can give credit.
*I can relate to this one. Once on duty I was caught driving across a field trying to run over a bunny rabbit**. When asked why, I answered "because I knew you'd be mad if I shot it."
**The bunny rabbit was in no real danger. If you don't believe me, try it sometime.
Posted by Ted at January 30, 2004 06:55 AM | TrackBackAnd to think I actually thought you were a decent person! Poor bunny rabbit! What if it had had a migraine and couldn't get away as fast as usual?
Hrumph!
Posted by: Roxette Bunny at January 30, 2004 09:01 AMI was young and stupid, Roxette. What can I say? Everyone has their skeletons.
If it's any consolation, I never had the rabbit when they served it in the chow hall. I don't much care for it.
Posted by: Ted at January 30, 2004 09:19 AMI ran across this a couple years ago, and now I'm pissed that I didn't think to post it. My favorite was always:
#35 Not allowed to sing 'High Speed Dirt' by Megadeth during airborne operations. ('See the earth below/Soon to make a crater/Blue sky, black death, I'm off to meet my maker')
I also liked:
#54 'Napalm sticks to kids' is *not* a motivational phrase.
and this series:
#167 Not allowed to operate a business out of the barracks.
#168 Especially not a pornographic movie studio.
#169 Not even if they *are* 'especially patriotic films'
Posted by: buckethead at January 30, 2004 11:17 AMFor some reason number 101 just made me giggle: I shall not mount a bayonet on a crew-served weapon.
Could anybodyt send me the email address of the person who maintains this site?
The Skippy List Website will be going back up in a couple of weeks, and we want to ask for the list on here to be replaced with a link.
Jonathan (AKA Skippy)
Posted by: Jonathan Schwarz at April 11, 2004 03:27 PM