May 14, 2005

Urkel Moments in Hollywood

What is an "Urkel Moment?"

Any time you suddenly stop and say "did I do that?" Named after the character Steve Urkel, who made a (brief) career out of doing just that in the the television sitcom Family Matters. You know, the one where the youngest TV daughter grew up to do porn movies.*

Did I do that?

I'd make bets that you've mentally asked yourself that after breaking up with someone. Any incriminating photos in your past (Dr. Laura - nsfw)?

"I'm not saying I'm gay or anything, but I would so do David Hasselhoff." from the Urban Dictionary

One night while stationed in Alabama my wife and I and another couple went to a drive-in theater we'd heard about that showed porn movies. I don't remember a thing about the movies we saw except for one item. One of the male stars was none other than David Hasselhoff. This was pre-Knight Rider days and long before Baywatch. But he was still a star, appearing as a regular and important character on the CBS soap opera The Young and the Restless. His character name? Snapper. I shit you not.

I wonder what he got paid for doing that porn movie? Definitely an Urkel moment.

Did you know that Harlan (Colonel) Sanders used to offer free fried chicken to movie crews if they'd give him walk-on bit parts? It's true, and there are several very forgettable movies in which he makes an appearance. Something I didn't realize was that the man was 6'5" tall, so he often literally stood head and shoulders above the other characters in a scene.

Probably best known as the upper and lower left corners of the original Hollywood Squares game shows, Wally Cox and Charlie Weaver each fell into doing parts in crap movies after their careers faded. Cox in particular did some really odd and disturbing work making use of his milquetoast personna.

Neil Sedaka's Urkel Moment is undoubtedly an uncredited appearance (probably the wisest thing he ever did, the uncredited part that is) in a 70's movie called Chatterbox. Here's the plot synopsis:

A young woman who works in a beauty parlor discovers that her vagina can talk, which causes her no end of trouble.

Who says Hollywood has gone to hell lately?

Titled with the subtlety of a sledgehammer, you know this one is on my "track down and see someday" list.

* The youngest daughter on Family Matters was named Jaimee Foxworth, so if you believe at all in karma, then that name doomed her to porn right from the start. Her porn star name was Crave and she starred in flicks such as "Booty Talk #20". She's since "found God" and is trying to get back into mainstream acting. And no, I've never seen any of her movies, but Google is my friend.

Posted by Ted at May 14, 2005 08:58 AM
Category: Cult Flicks

Followed the link for Chatterbox. It's sound like a fun movie. If you get it give us a full review!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at May 14, 2005 05:26 PM

I am so not happy that for some reason, I had heard about that Neil Sedaka movie. Why do I know that? I have no clue. I've never seen a porn movie in my life.

Posted by: Boudicca at May 16, 2005 11:00 PM

Bou, follow the trackback, it's from a gentleman who's actually seen the movie. From what I understand, it's not really a porn movie. It just has a very adult premise, stupid as that premise may be.

Posted by: Ted at May 17, 2005 05:49 AM
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