You heard it here first

There's a new low-carb dog food.

A new medical study shows that excessive protein in the diet can cause fertility "problems". The reporters I watched verbally danced around, desperately trying to not say "Atkins" or "low-carb", and implied that the "problems" involved conception. The details of the report that I heard sounded more like birth defect type "problems". Balance people, the key is balance.

"Morbidly Obese", isn't that a lovely medical term? I hearby street-slangify it to "Mo'Beast", as in, "That dude with the Mac in each hand? He is Mohhh' Beast!"

Word.