December 06, 2004

Accoustics and Relationship Advice

Being male, there are certain things you can't help but notice in a public men's room. Audio things. Things you might not even realize conciously, but you notice.

For instance, some men like to direct their stream against the side of the porcelain to minimize the sound, while others aim directly for the deep end to go for the big splash. The more frivolous might be trying to recreate in miniature the effect of water erosion against the deodorant cake, and there are always the bubble games to amuse the mind while neccessarily occupied in standing still (cool, that one looks just like Florida!).

More fundamental are the physical differences. The male organ is highly variable in detail, even in it's non-recreational role. A gentleman with a larger diameter urethra sounds like he's pouring water into the toilet from a glass (or a fire hose). A man closer to garden hose functionality won't make nearly as much noise and will take considably longer to complete the task at hand. Then there are those guys who seem to have a sprinkler head attached to the end of their willie, and cannot hit the target regardless of range or proximity.

Those last are the ones you want to avoid ladies, else you'll be wiping the seat and mopping bathroom floors for the rest of your life.

Posted by Ted at December 6, 2004 06:05 AM
Category: Square Pegs

If it looks like a mule whizzin' in a stream and it sounds like a mule whizzin' in a stream then........

Posted by: russ at December 6, 2004 08:46 AM

Hehehe, finally some humor found this Monday morning. :)

Posted by: Maelstrom at December 6, 2004 11:36 AM

Now that's fascinating!

Posted by: dawn at December 6, 2004 04:56 PM

Well, if I've been holding for a while and reeeeeally gotta go, then I like to hit the deep water hard and get that loud, rumbling Niagra Falls roar goin'... sounds like victory!

But usually (especially in Men's Room) I just stream along the porcelain just because I think we'd prefer the peace and quiet.

Then there are the times when I like to go for the shore -- just at the edge of the water and bowl. When you hit it right you can get a gentle shhhhhhhhh sound goin'. I consider it the happy medium where you don't wanna make too much noise, but you also don't want others to think you're holding yer member idly while waiting for it flow.

Darn it, I've said too much again.... :o

Posted by: Tuning Spork at December 6, 2004 09:27 PM

Saw this on another blog:

In 1993, the American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex. After the US published the study, France decided to do their own study. After $250,000.00, and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason was to give the woman more pleasure during sex. Australia, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After 2 weeks and a cost of around $75.46, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead."

Posted by: dawn at December 7, 2004 05:21 PM

Some of us have modified ours so that we have a sprinkler head for real. :-)

Posted by: Keith at December 9, 2004 01:28 PM

Damn, I thought nobody noticed the erosion of the deoderant cake.
Successive visits can result in pleasing sculptures, BTW.

Posted by: Alan E Brain at December 13, 2004 08:47 AM
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