I'm unique, just like everyone else (maybe even my shoes)

When I got home from work yesterday, I found that both dogs had been given badly needed haircuts, leaving me as the last shaggy beast in the house.

Afterwards, the dogs always spend a few days humping everything in sight, as if they were so traumatized that they instinctively look to spread their genetic material.

I was warned to check my sneaker before inserting foot, just in case.