March 04, 2005

Carnival of the Recipes #29

There I was, sitting at my desk. The only light in the room came from the blinking neon sign outside and the occasional flash of lightning. That was fine by me, because it fit my mood, as did the glass of smoky single malt in front of me.

Then she walked in. Her hair shone like spun cotton candy. She had cherry lips and plump breasts. Half turning to close the door, I admired her prime rump and appreciated her succulent thighs wrapped in a tight skirt. Definitely not chicken legs.

Before she could speak, I said, "let's go sister, I'm hungry."

Before long we were sitting in a booth at Clancy's. I could tell she had something to say, but she kept quiet, waiting for the right moment. I like that in a dame. Finally, Clancy himself brought two drinks to the table. He knew what I liked. He brought her the same.

Her first words, "I thought you were hungry?"

Ok, so no chorus of Angel's from on high, just an ordinary voice. Still, I'd better take control of the situation. She'd come to me after all.

"I'll ask the questions, sweetheart."

She sipped her drink and looked at me over the rim of her glass with lidded eyes.

"First question," I began, "do you like Tzatziki?"

That took her by surprise. But it broke the ice, and before the end of the second drink, I knew her story. I also knew that I could help her.


St. Paddy's Day Toast - Bobo Blogger

Tzatziki - from Cathouse Chat

Quite Early One Morning, Greek Eggs.

Yogurt Cheese, from A Mentsh Trakht

Helen's Salsa - a nifty slideshow presentation.


Suddenly the door burst open and a guy ran in, yelling and waving his arms. There was something odd about him, and I finally figured out what it was: his words didn't match the movements of his mouth. With another wild yell, he rushed back outside just in time for a giant reptillian claw to come down and stomp him flat. I grabbed her arm and we hustled out onto the sidewalk, where I saw the monster topple a skyscraper. Damn, I liked the restaurant there too. When the lizard turned back our way, we joined the throng of people stampeding for safety as behind us, the giant monster destroyed the city.


Crab Cakes from Eat Your History.

Sante Fe Salmon from Boudicca's Voice

Inside Allan's Mind, Crab Imperial.


Lowering his binoculars, the General looked grim. "Poor bastards never stood a chance."

Nodding to his second-in-command, all eyes turned towards the skies as a flight of jet fighters peeled off into attack formation. The lead pilot squinted into his sights as he mentally calculated his escape route to avoid the monster's swishing tail. He was in a hurry to get home, because it was sushi Mexican night at the chow hall.


Daily Pundit's Tacos al Pastor.

Enchilada Pie, from AZ Perspective and Junk

Rocket Jones's California Chili


"There they go, Sarge," sighed the Corporal wistfully. "That's the life for me. Lounge around until they need you, fly where they tell you to go. Drop a couple of bombs and head for home."

The gruff Sergeant looked over his platoon. He was rough on them, but he knew that it was the best way to keep them alive, to always be there watching over them.

Behind a pile of rubble, three soldiers were discussing mom's home cooking. The sarge listened for a moment as each described in loving detail his favorite homemade meal.

It was time. "Let's go, ladies," boomed the Sergeant as he stood up.

Bailey, the new Private, looked up in terror. "Sarge, I'm scared."

With a grim half-smile, the Sarge said "So am I, kid. Now, fix bayonets!" And he began his walk into battle, knowing that his platoon would be right behind him.


The Glittering Eye - Open Faced Moussaka

Shephard's Pie, from Aussie Wife.

Daly Thoughts - Brunswick Stew

Publius & Co. - Beer Can Chicken


As long as I stay moving and don't think too much, the Ninjas cannot harm me. Staying focused yet relaxed, my body continued to move in measured forms. Always just enough to make the throwing stars and flashing blades miss. Around me, the ground is littered with the remains of my enemies, and more than a few friends. I would mourn for them later, when there was time. Only then would honor allow for needs of the flesh.


Prochein Amy's Stuffed French Rolls

Leniwe Pierogi (lazy pierogi) - from bebere.com.

Egg Salad, from Booklore.


They fought hard even as they fell back, and we, sensing victory, pressed all the more. Eventually, only a small knot of warriors remained, exhausted but still defiant. Formed into a defensive circle around the Princess, the wizard pulled aside a slab of stone, grabbed her around the waist and jumped into the hole thus exposed. We quickly slaughtered the rest of the warriors before they could join him. No one was keen to follow the mage into those stygian depths, where the very bones of Mother Earth were visible. But the Princess depended on us.


Golabki Casserole and Spinach Artichoke Casserole, from Shoes, Ships & Sealing Wax.

Helen's Christmas Roast - a slideshow presentation.

Blog d'Elisson - Lil Pachterís Braised Brisket.


"What's that, boy? Timmy fell down a well?"


Triticale - Crockpot Breakfasts.

Let's Play Restaurant! with Single Boy's Breakfast.

Easy Egg Pie, from Punctilious.


Fine. You take the remote.


A quick note about my blog name. Jones isn't my last name, but one of my hobbies and passions is rockets. I am, literally, jonesing for rockets. The kids and I build and fly model and high power rockets, hence the name. Check out the sidebar for links to online resources and rocketry vendors, and my rocket-related category archives are here and here.

And for those not into rockets (although I can't possibly imagine why not), have a look through the Rocket Jones Cult Flicks archives and be prepared for all kinds of cheesy cinema wonderfulness.

Posted by Ted at March 4, 2005 05:24 AM | TrackBack
Comments

Interesting reading. Did you have recipes in there...

Posted by: SlightlyAnonymousKyle at March 4, 2005 07:51 AM

Yes Kyle, they're craftily hidden in each of the links listed. :P

Posted by: Ted at March 4, 2005 08:13 AM

What a riot! You did a GREAT job! You creative people crack me up.

Posted by: Boudicca at March 4, 2005 08:56 AM

Extremely amusing, Mr. Jones.

((Or may I call you, Rocket?))

Posted by: HelenW at March 4, 2005 10:39 AM

Bravo, Rocket Man! You've given me my first smile of the day!

Posted by: Be at March 4, 2005 10:44 AM

Wonderful, wonderful! You folks are very special. I'm sure these new recipes are terrific. I've tried some of the 'Carnival' recipes in the past and they are 'right on', scrumpcious! And, of course, the humor is first rate.

Keep it up!

WGM, Sarasota, FL

Posted by: Wayne George Miller at March 4, 2005 10:50 AM

OMG!

That was so funny and clever- I just LOVE IT!

And now I get to go back and follow the links to the recipes...too busy reading the PI story to think about cooking!

Posted by: AFSister at March 4, 2005 11:21 AM

Bravo, well done, very nice :)

Posted by: Oddybobo at March 4, 2005 11:42 AM

This was impressive. Thanks!

Posted by: vw bug at March 4, 2005 03:07 PM

DAMN! I missed this one...! I can only claim extreme gardening as my excuse for not contributing to this Carnival. Forgive me...? :-)

--TwoDragons

Posted by: Denita TwoDragons at March 4, 2005 08:16 PM

Very nice! And "What's that, boy? Timmy fell down a well?" gave me the best laugh I had all day.

Posted by: nic at March 4, 2005 08:44 PM

Missed it too and it was great. Wow. Neat story...
ah well Sunday is meat fare so next week...

Posted by: Kevin at March 4, 2005 09:56 PM

There you go again, changing the station right as I get interested!!!!

Posted by: Amy at March 5, 2005 08:44 AM

Since I do not know how to trackback I have mentioned the Carnival and have a recipe for making your own Green Chili Sauce (Chili Verde).

http://infrequent.blogspot.com/2005/03/chili-verde.html

I hope nobody minds.

Posted by: David at March 5, 2005 11:48 AM

Welcome David! You can send in recipes anytime to recipe.carnival@gmail.com

Good Salsa Verde is always appreciated. :D

Posted by: Ted at March 5, 2005 12:44 PM

Carnivale Noir. LOOOOVE IT!

Ted, you rock.

Posted by: Margi at March 5, 2005 02:33 PM

Ah...Ted, is that rocket in your pocket or are you just happy to host the carnival again?

Great premise and recipes...I've Elisson's brisket simmering in the oven as I type.

Posted by: BJ at March 5, 2005 03:35 PM

Best. Carnival. Ever. And I bet the recipes are great, too!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at March 5, 2005 06:49 PM
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