March 08, 2005

Die (insert your choice of scum here)!

This morning on the commute to work, we had that perfect set of conditions where the darkness and headlights and misty rain and rolling tires combines to make each vehicle look like it was trailing smoke.

Glancing to my right to make sure my wingman was covering, I eased in behind the Fokker. Apparently oblivious to my presence, the range closed until I could practically knock the bloody hun out by throwing rocks. Instead, he got a long burst from my Lewis gun. I saw the pilot slump as his plane sideslipped down and away.
The lumbering Heinkel was easy pickings. Either the tail-gunner had been killed by a lucky long-range shot, or his gun was jammed, because there was no defensive fire coming from his rear arc. I had to throttle my Spitfire way back to avoid overtaking him, and when lined up perfectly I let loose with everything I had. I was close enough to see large pieces of his plane break free under the withering fire, and within seconds the starboard engine was trailing smoke. He veered away in a shallow dive, heading back across the Channel to his base in France. One less kraut making his delivery to the shipyards at Liverpool.
What a farrago! Everywhere you looked the sky was full of planes, twisting and turning, occasionally trailing a dark plume as he made his final dive. I saw a chute open below me, and noted that the pilot would come down to the south of the Yalu. A MIG flashed by in front of me and I snapped off a burst. He was gone too quickly to assess, but I had other problems, as another Red was trying to turn inside me to get on my tail.
I have no idea where he came from, he was just suddenly there in my sights. Before I even had target locks I was squeezing the trigger, and we were joined by twin beams of light. I saw a plume of flash frozen atmosphere erupt from behind the crew compartment, and they suddenly decelerated. As I rolled past them in a defensive vector, I wondered whether that crew had been suited up when the hull was breached.

Some mornings you don't even have to turn on the radio.

Posted by Ted at March 8, 2005 05:45 AM
Category: Square Pegs

Do you have one of those "sound effect" keychains, or were you making the "rat-a-tat-tat" gun sounds and "pieeeewwww" laser sounds yourself?

And do you car pool?

Posted by: GEBIV at March 8, 2005 10:47 AM

One stupid, lucky shot from some infantry puke. I didn't see a flak blossom so it must have been a lucky rifle shot from the ground that hit the engine.

Not that it matters now. The engine is billowing smoke and that's not a good sign. A C-47 can maybe fly on one engine but not hauling this piece of crap CG-4 behind it. That pilot is gonna release his end of the towrope and it's gonna come back through my canopy and I don't need to be thinking about that right now.

I need to be looking for some place to land this thing and we aren't far enough in from the beaches yet. If I have to cut loose and land here, we'll be machine-gunned to pieces before I can get on the ground. Come on, guy. Just another couple of minutes towards the target and I promise that I'll release the tow and you can head back toward whatever safety one engine will get you.

Posted by: homebru at March 8, 2005 01:06 PM

Bru!!! That's brilliant! Bravo!

GEBIV, I had a traumatic experience with one of those keychains in a crowded elevator at the Department of State. It was in my briefcase, and it wasn't sound effects, it was some rather colorful language. Thinking quickly, I distracted everyone by throwing up on Madeleine Albright.

Posted by: Ted at March 8, 2005 02:18 PM

Try cruising up around the Mormon Temple at around 8 or 9 at night.Wall to wall,bumper to bumper and four lanes wide with Jersey barriers on each side at about 80 mph.It quickly turns into Jets over `Nam or something.NASCAR got nuthin' on them.

Posted by: Russ at March 8, 2005 03:00 PM

I truly hate getting stuck behind Fokkers like that.

Posted by: CGHill at March 8, 2005 05:12 PM

You should be driving this car over at Boots and Sabers.

Posted by: GEBIV at March 8, 2005 09:14 PM
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