June 26, 2006

Oh man, this is too funny (more Chris Pronger crap)

Rocket Jones is now #1 on Google if you search "Chris Pronger Hate". Go me!

One of the other links on that page led to an article in the Edmonton Journal that gives 28 reasons to hate San Jose. I was raised in San Jose, so as a native I'll have to say that a lot of it is wrong, although some of it sounds like the crap that convinced me to move away and never go back.

Here's the best of 'em. The ones where he doesn't sound like a whiney little bitch.

1. That song. You know, the one with San Jose in the title and chorus? You know, the Dionne-frickin'-Warwick song from 1968? I hate that song.

2. But no matter how much we hate that song, it pales to how deeply they despise it in San Jose. They're ashamed. Just mentioning it makes them cringe and squirm. Oiler fans should belt it out in Game 3.

3. All together now: "Yesss WEEEE Know the WAAAY to Saaaan Jose." That will mess up those Josers.

This is priceless. "Josers"!!!! I love it.

I hate to break it to him though, but people from San Jose don't hate that song. In fact, we seldom even think about it. Now, Edmonton had a song written about it too, called "I shot a bear rootin' through my trash cans (or maybe it was Chris Pronger)". Regional hit.

4. San Jose wants you to spell its name with one of those accent things over the letter E. Talk about pree-tentious.
If so, I agree. I'll also state that no native son would do that, so it's probably those immigrants. You know, those rich millionaire dot-commers. Pretentious pricks, all of 'em, so it wouldn't surprise me.
5. Sharks fans like to photoshop pictures of Chris Pronger and post them on the team's website. One such photo makes it appear as if Pronger wears panties. Another puts the rugged Oiler defenceman in a pink leotard and blond wig. This is outrageous. This is hockey blasphemy.

6. Sharks fans also like to call him Chrissy Pronger. No, this is war.

ROFLMAO See my post below. I wonder how much Edmonton loves Chrissy now?

9. The first commercial broccoli farm was in San Jose. You hate broccoli, right? Blame San Jose. Get angry.
I thought that was Bush (Sr's) fault?
11. Hockey fans in San Jose think it's the height of wit to post pictures of great white sharks in the process of eating some Oilers player or another.
Oh please, it's the silicon valley. They post CGI clips of great white sharks eating Oilers players.
20. San Jose averages 300 sunny days a year and has a Mediterranean climate. Wimps.

The rest of 'em get rather personal and he takes some cheap shots at America and Americans in general. Whiney little bitch with an inferiority complex.

Posted by Ted at June 26, 2006 06:11 PM | TrackBack
Category: Balls and Ice
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