March 06, 2007

Hippy Horror

Being under the weather for a week means I've had plenty of time to watch those crappy horror movies that I love so much. This one is long on the "crappy" part of the description and short on the "horror" part.

Slashed Dreams is notable more for its background story and the cast than for any resemblance to entertainment. This movie is bad. Bad bad. This movie is so bad that the horror derives from the concentrated badness of it. In spite of that, several of the cast members went on to long and successful careers in television and on the silver screen, which boggles the mind after appearing in this movie.

Somebody PLEASE kill that singer!!!
-- reviewer comment on

Made in 1975, this flick features (to tragically misrepresent it) folk music in the peace-puppies-and-sunshine style, sung by some unknown songstress. Her name doesn't appear on the credits, which leads me to believe that a lawsuit was involved. Either she sued to remain anonymous, or the producer sued her for her (major) part in this fiasco.

The storyline: Two college students, a guy and a girl, head into the mountains to visit a friend who's "looking for himself" by being one with nature. They meet two local nitwits who rape the girl and beat up the guy. They get over it and walk away hand-in-hand into the sunset.

That story should realistically take about ten minutes to tell, yet they stretch it to almost an hour and a half with endless (at least they seemed endless) montages of the two hiking through meadows, picking berries, admiring waterfalls, climbing rocks, etc. All accompanied by that treacly soundtrack.

The monotony - and that word is perfectly descriptive - is broken only when the two go skinny dipping and we catch the briefest glimpse of the lady naked. Even though you only see he from three-quarters behind, it's obvious that Kathrine Baumann has a spectacular body. It's a shame that we didn't see more of her, especially since this was her only nude scene ever.

The rape happens and the two are shocked to find that the world isn't the loving, peaceful la-la land that they thought it was. The next day their friend arrives back at the cabin and we get the second treat of the movie ("treat" being a relative term here since at this point the DVD player catching fire could be classified as a treat). Their friend is none other than Robert Englund, of Freddie Krueger fame. He turns in the best performance of the movie, which is a shame because he's only seen for about the last ten minutes. Not that he does anything except be sensitive to her needs and offer sympathy. There's no thought of revenge or retribution here, just more flower-power passivity.

After a few minutes of getting over it all, the other guy sees the two rapists and goes after them. In one of the lamest fights ever recorded, he manages to knock one into the mud and actually throws a few punches before Freddie (you know who I mean) and the girl show up and the bad guys run away. "They won't be back" is actually spoken. Yeah, getting one muddy is really going to deter them in the future. Sheesh. The ending is literally as described, the two hikers walking off hand-in-hand into the sunset. To that music.

Background story, you know, the interesting part. This film was originally released as Sunburst and was quickly and rightfully forgotten. Then, after the phenomenom of Nightmare on Elm Street, everything that Englund ever did was dusted off. This bomb was re-titled as Slashed Dreams (gee, I wonder why?), by crudely overlaying the original title in the credits and re-inflicted on an unsuspecting public as "horror". Ok, so not so interesting, but once again, it's relative to the rest of the film, which makes it downright fascinating.

Posted by Ted at March 6, 2007 04:14 PM | TrackBack
Category: Cult Flicks

I'd personally like to thank you on behalf of all people who've ever enjoyed a horror movie for taking the bullet for the rest of us.

Posted by: Mad William Flint at March 6, 2007 06:18 PM


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