April 23, 2007

Getting in Touch with My Inner Yuppie

The newest fad at the supermarket is "All Angus Beef". That's right, if you eat those inferior breeds of cow, you aren't getting "All Angus Beef", and that is supposed to make you feel uncomfortable in some vague way.

But what about those other poor inferior breeds of cow? Who's looking out for their feelings? What about their self-esteem? My God, you insensitive bastards, you could be permanently damaging their self-image! It's not their fault that they're born other than "All Angus Beef"! Who are you to judge that cow? Thanks to you, who knows what horror that poor bullied and picked upon cow could inflict upon an unsuspecting herd when he goes *Mad Cow*?!?!?!?!?!

See how fucking stupid that sounds?

Posted by Ted at April 23, 2007 04:02 PM | TrackBack
Category: Square Pegs
Comments

Okay, I'll eat more non-Angus beef. For bovine self-esteem.

Posted by: Phelps at April 23, 2007 05:21 PM

That's so last week. We only eat free-range steroid-free humanely-slaughtered organic all-Angus beef. Now that's some good cow.

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at April 23, 2007 06:11 PM

How would you get a half angus steak? A hybrid cow, or clever sewing?

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