Good Advice for anyone

Originally done by Chet Atkins.

Frog Kissin'

Do you remember in the fairy tale, how the wicked witches spell
Turned the handsome prince to a toad?
By the power of a potion, she handed him the notion
He was lower than the dirt in the road.
And though she left him green and warted, her evil plans were thwarted
Their chanced to happen by a young miss
Who inspite of his complexion, offered him affection
And broke the wicked curse with her kiss

So if you've never been frog kissing
Then you don't know what you've been missin',
There's a wealth of opportunity under each and every log.
And if you've never been charm-breakin',
Then you've never been handsome prince makin'.
You've got to slow down, turn around, bend down,
Kiss you a frog!

Once upon a time ago, I was down and feelin' low
Like a lonely frog in a pond
My life was just a joke, and I was just about to croak
Cuz I'd be zapped by life's wicked wand.
But in the depths of my depression, there came a true expression
Of love from a person so sweet.
She gave me warm fuzzy feelings, feelings that were healin'
And she knocked me off my little webbed feet.

There's a happy-ever-after-land, deep in the heart of man
Where a prince and princess abides.
But all we get are glimpses, of the happy prince or princess
'Cauce they're covered with a green warty hide.
Though they're full of life's potential, they're lacking one essential
To enable them to shine like a star.
That's a handsome guy or missus, to smother them with kisses
And love them just the way that they are.

That's the secret of frog kissing
You can do it too if you'll just listen
There's a wealth of opportunity under each and every log.
That's the secret of charm-breakin',
That's the secret of handsome prince makin'.
You've got to slow down, turn around, bend down,
Kiss you a...
You've got to slow down, turn around, bend down,
Kiss you a...
You've got to slow down, turn around, bend down,
Kiss you a frog!

And because the site where I found this offered up the chord progression, here it is, just for us guitar players.

KEY D

verse:
Am E7 F
G G7 C D
Am A7 Dm A7 Dm-A7-Dm
D7 G D G

chorus:
G7 C A7
Dm G7 Am
G7 C A7
F F G Am

They also slightly altered the lyrics so they could be played in 3/4 time, so that they "could make it sound like a song that belonged at a Renaissance Festival." I changed 'em back to match what I hear on my original Chet Atkins version.

Not far from the tree

I just noticed that Mookie has the lyrics to a toe-tapping minor classic on her sidebar. From the Chairmen of the Board:

Give Me Just A Little More Time

[Chorus:]
Give me just a little more time
And our love will surely grow
Give me just a little more time
And our love will surely grow

Life's too short to make a mistake
Let's think of each other and hesitate
Young and impatient we may be
There's no need to act foolishly
If we part our hearts won't forget it
Years from now we'll surely regret it

[Chorus]

You're young and you're in a hurry
You're eager for love but don't you worry
We both want the sweetness in life
But these things don't come overnight
Don't give up cos love's been slow
Boy, we're gonna succeed with another blow

Give me just a little more time
And our love will surely grow
Baby please baby
Baby please baby

Love is that mountain we must climb
Let's climb it together your hand in mine
We haven't known each other too long
But the feeling I have is oh so strong
I know we can make it there's no doubt
We owe it to ourselves to find it out

Just,
[Chorus]

Give me just a little more time
And our love will surely grow
Baby, please baby
Baby, please baby

[Chorus]
[Repeat And Fade]

It runs in the family.

For My Special Valentine

Just don't tell my wife. Kidding.

Forever and Ever, Amen

You may think that I'm talking foolish.
You've heard that I'm wild and I'm free.
You may wonder how I can promise you now,
This love that I feel for you always will be.
You're not this time that I'm killing.
I'm no longer one of those guys.
As sure as I live this love that I give.
Is gonna be yours until the day that I die.

Oh, baby, I'm gonna love you forever,
Forever and ever amen.
As long as old men sit and talk about the weather,
As long as old women sit and talk about old men.
If you wonder how long I'll be faithful,
I'll be happy to tell you again:
I'm gonna love you forever and ever,
Forever and ever, Amen.

They say that time takes it's toll on a body;
Makes the young girls brown hair turn grey.
But honey, I don't care, I ain't in love with your hair,
And if it all fell out, well, I'd love you anyway.
They say time can play tricks on the memory;
Make people forget things they knew.
But it's easy to see it's happening to me:
I've already forgotten every woman but you.

Oh, darlin', I'm gonna love you forever,
Forever and ever amen.
As long as old men sit and talk about the weather,
As long as old women sit and talk about old men.
If you wonder how long I'll be faithful,
Well, just listen to how this song ends.
I'm gonna love you forever and ever,
Forever and ever, Amen.

I'm gonna love you forever and ever,
Forever and ever, forever and ever,
Forever and ever, Amen.

Performed by Randy Travis

For My Special Valentine

Beautiful mood music.

Never My Love
The 5th Dimension

You ask me if
There'll come a time when I grow tired of you.
Never my love,
Never my love.

You wonder if
This heart of mine will lose it's desire for you.
Never my love,
Never my love.

What makes you think love will end,
When you know that my whole life depends
On you.

You say you fear
I'll change my mind and I won't require you.
Never my love,
No, never, never my love.

Now how can you think love will end,
When I've asked you to spend your whole life
With me.

Never my love.

I'll leave you never my love.
Oh, believe me, baby.
I want you forever and ever my love.
I want to be...

Oh yeah.

A Moment of Culture

Love in the bayou...

Pit Bulls and Chain Saws - Bellamy Brothers

Well I met a real beauty down in Baton Rouge
She stole away my heart with some black voodoo
I followed her home like a man in a trance
She started getting weird and went into her dance
A witchy little woman with some character flaws
She loves pit bulls and chain saws

Now it didn't take long for me to find that door
But she locked it up tight so I couldn't go far
Her momma cast a spell and her daddy threw a curse
And my whole day went from bad to worse
And what came next was the very last straw
She loves pit bulls and chain saws

Well the dogs are howlin', the saws are rippin'
Rats are flying and the cats tail whippin'
She's cooking up a love potion in the kitchen
I hate to leave but I gotta be zippin'

When they found me I was high in a cypress tree
Her brother sawed it down while she chanted over me
Under heavy pressure we were married that night
Now we live in the swamp in our own doublewide
Just look at me now I'm having a ball
With my pit bulls and chain saws

I got 'em cheap from my brother-in-law
Pit bulls and chain saws.

Made me think of lovely cheese*

Play something sweet
Play something mellow
Play something I can sink my teeth in like jello
Play something I can understand
Play me some Brickyard Blues.

Play something sweet
And make it funky
So I can lay back and grin like a monkey
Play something I can understand
Play me some Brickyard Blues.

-- Three Dog Night

*If I have to explain...

Freakers Ball

Well there's gonna be a freakers ball
Tonight at the freakers hall
And you know, you're invited one and all

Come on babies grease your lips
Grab your hats and swing your hips
Don't forget to bring your whips
We're going to the freakers ball

Blow your whistle and bang your gong
Roll up something to take along
It feels so good it must be wrong
We're freakin at the freakers ball

Where all the fags and the dykes they're boogyin' together
The leather freaks are dressed in all kinds of leather
The greatest of the sadists and the masochists too
Screaming "Please hit me, and I'll hit you"

The FBI are dancing with the junkies
All the straights, are swinging with the fogies
Across the floor and up the wall
We're freakin at the freakers ball
Y'all, we're freakin at the freakers ball

Everybody's kissing each other
Brother with sister, son with mother
Smear my body up with butter
Take me to the freakers ball

Pass that roach please and pour the wine
I'll kiss yours if you'll kiss mine
I'm gonna boogie till i go blind
We're freakin at the freakers ball

White ones, black ones, yellow ones, red ones
Necrophiliacs looking for dead ones
The greatest of the sadists and the masochists too
Screaming "Please hit me, and I'll hit you"

Everybody falling in batches
Pyromaniacs striking matches
I'm gonna itch me where it scratches
Freakin' at the freakers ball.

-- Dr. Hook

The inmates have taken over Bloviating Inanities!

Cynicism 101

"The girls with the bodies
like the boys with Ferrari's.
Girls don't like boys,
Girls like cars and money."

-- Good Charlotte