A literal description of my state of mind
A literal description of my state of mind
Guys, you should go with your wife when she has to visit her gynocologist. It's fun to sit in the waiting room and without doing a thing, make every female there uncomfortable as hell. Kind of an implied 'I know what you're here for' thing. Plus, you get to catch up on your chicks magazine reading.
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My wife was outraged the other evening when I told my daughters that they should do more phone sex. Things calmed down after I outlined "Dad's Definition of Phone Sex":
phone rings, daughter picks up: hello?
boy on other end of line: hey, wanna chill?
daughter: SCREW YOU!
after which daughter immediately slams phone down.
Us dads don't get enough credit for thinking outside the box.
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If you're drowning in estrogen around the house, get a male dog. Nothing is more 'guy' than a puppy humping everything in sight or licking himself in the middle of the floor. Never ever let a women talk you into getting him fixed.
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A while back Nic said this in my comments:
"Your love for and commitment to your family comes through in every post."
That's a very sweet thing to say, and I thank you for it. I think it also explains why I have such a hard time meeting women on the side.
Posted by Ted at December 21, 2003 08:04 AM | TrackBackROFL! I've never been in a gynocologist's office, but I'm always amused when women at the supermarket are looking at the tampons on the shelf, then see me coming down the aisle and quickly do a 180 and start examining shampoo bottles.
Posted by: Tuning Spork at December 21, 2003 12:03 PMGood one on the male dog thing. A male dog is the only real teaching tool we men have to teach women about men.
This is especially true if the woman gets attached to the dog and does things like training and taking him to the park to mix with other dogs.
Now everytime you are in trouble ( or about to be) you can start out with "Honey you remember that time in the park when..."
Trust me. This works.
Posted by: The Meatriarchy at December 21, 2003 08:54 PMSo, how was that old, beat up couch in the garage the night you posted this?
Posted by: Serenity at December 22, 2003 09:29 PMLOL
Posted by: Ted at December 22, 2003 10:39 PM