Depends on which Care Bear you're talking about, doesn't it?

After questioning the results of a "type of humor quiz", Dawn wounds me thusly:

No offense doll, and I hate to detract from your image, but you're about as menacing as a Care Bear.

Well, sweetie, since this is Rocket Jones...

(in the extended entry, safe for work in all but the most conservative office environments)

Not all Care Bears were universally popular. For instance, Beer Fart Bear and Bong Bear were both left off of the television show, which in hindsight was probably a good thing. Then, after Blonde Bear's tragic encounter with an animal trap (she survived, but gnawed off three legs before freeing the correct limb), a schism developed between those who thought that the franchise should stay where it was vs those who favored "growing up" with their audience. We all know how that came out. Who's heard from Bimbo Bear lately?

One result was the emergence of the Bear's Who Don't Care faction, who never really caught on. Personally, I thought Swear Bear was a natural.

Then there's my personal favorites, the Bondage Bears*. The photo came from here. This page is safe (if you're ok with Teddy Bears being tied up) but consider yourself warned about clicking anything but the thumbnails or "next page" once you get there.

So yeah, I guess I am about as menacing as a Care Bear, depending on which Care Bear you're talking about.

* I love google, you can find anything!

Posted by Ted at August 1, 2005 04:17 AM | TrackBack
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