Psst... Over Here (UPDATE: Moved Again, Link Adjusted)

I'm over at the new (new) Rocket Jones.

I didn't start over, just moved the whole kit-and-kaboodle over to a more spam-resistant platform. Please adjust your links accordingly. Thanks.

Mee Moving Into Nu Digs

Ok, many suggested alternatives to abandoning blogging on Rocket Jones. Ultimately, you are all wiser than I, because I found that it really bugged me to just up and walk away.

Pixy has set me up over at the new Minx-based Rocket Jones. I believe that your links will be fine as is, because the "old" domain will get redirected to the new one in the near future. Pixy is kind and does nifty things like that, and although it is now literally possible, I really don't want to have his babies, but I am extremely grateful for what he does.

I am in a transitional phase in my life at this time, so I think I'm going to get back to basics: Rockets, movies, a little introspection and storytelling and humor. I think I'm excited about writing here again, because it took me a while to figure out exactly what my priorities were, and how to best satisfy them.

So use the link above to get to the new place (which make you laugh look away in embarrassment marvel in awe at my wicked CSS artistry. And one day soon, the "old" link to Rocket Jones will automagically take you to the new gingerbread house in the woods.

I Want Some

8.5" by 11" sheets of duct tape.

Thanks to the Rocket Dungeon for the pointer.

Knots

Knowing how to tie the right knot for a given application is important. Learning to tie a knot from a book can be frustrating as all git out.

Try this instead.

Thanks to Random Nuclear Strikes for the pointer.

Psst. They show how to tie neckties too.

A Practical Guide to the Seven Deadly Sins

Face it, life *should* come with an instruction manual. It's even better with diagrams.

Teddy Bear Skulls

No, really!

Software Recommendation

A few weeks ago I bought a copy of Evernote.

If you're like me, you're often jotting down URL's or notes about this and that that you come across online. What Evernote does is automate that process, allowing you to select text, snippets of spreadsheets, email, entire screen prints, and much more to an electronic notepad. Plus, you can do it instantly because Evernote puts a button on your browser bar, making it as simple as select and click.

The real power comes in the application itself, because you can easily sort and organize in all kinds of useful ways. The search function is awesome too.

I'm not going to give an in-depth review or run down all of the features, and this isn't a sales pitch, but I do recommend checking out their website and watching the demo (flash). Evernote has been well worth the money (inexpensive and great value), and if you could use its capabilities then I think you'd like it.

'Nother New Bunny

A while back I mentioned Butterscotch, a doe we were trying to bond to our single buck Ozzie. Didn't work. The two were fine together, as long as some sort of barrier was between them, but as soon as the barrier was gone, the fur started flying. Apparently grudges are long held in the rabbit world, so there was no chance of changing anyone's mind about the other, let alone reconciliation.

Today I took Butterscotch back to the rescue. She was a sweet bunny, very loving and gentle, and being realistic I think the problem was Ozzie. But sometimes that's how it works out.

I came back with a little doe named Midnight, and we'll try again for a few weeks. If this doesn't work out, we'll see about other options (there are several). Cross your fingers, because even with all the rabbit's feet in the house, we need all the luck we can get.

The rabbit rescue we work with is Bunny Lu. Give 'em a visit and hit their donation jar if you feel so inclined.

Meet Max

Head on over to Son of Cheese (just click that handy link, how easy is that?) and get all gooshy over Derek and Mrs. Derek's new baby boy.

Braille Flag

This is inspiring.

Jesus Sanchez Cabral flew his flag until he could no longer see it.

A decorated veteran, he never liked to display his World War II medals. That was showing off.

But the flag was another matter. He hung it on his Hutchinson, Kan., porch every Memorial Day, every Flag Day, every Fourth of July, every holiday.

It was a tradition he kept up until glaucoma blinded him. After that, his flag flew no more. When he died 10 years ago at the age of 82, his wife said it was too bad that he couldn’t see the flag in his final years.

Over 5,000 of these flags have been distributed to blind veterans, including many who fought in Iraq and Afghanistan. Next month, a bronze version will be delivered to Arlington National Cemetery for permanent display.

You're Never Really Blessed Without A Smile

Elisson posted a picture, a picture of the kind I've been searching for for... well, quite some time (almost said "forever"). Tacky, kistchy, it'll make you go "Christ Almighty!" in rapturous awe and wonder.

Not very practical though, and that's where I come in. Add a splash of evil genius mixed with a mad dazzle of my photoshop skills, and... ego? No thanks, I already have one.

Click here to see the Rocket Jones version and it'll open in a new window.

Didja smile? Pray for me.

I have got to get that Cafe Press store up and running.

Simulated Physics

Check out this simple toy that lets you play with real physics.

Thanks to Dick's Rocket Dungeon for the pointer.

The Longest Drive

A powerful series of photographs, showing that our Canadian friends know how to pay their respects to a fallen son.

Thanks to Ghost of a Flea for the pointer.

I'll Give You Something to Whine About

Could it be that someone in Europe is growing some balls?

Denmark's leading newspapers reprinted a drawing of the Prophet Muhammad on Wednesday, a day after three men were arrested on suspicion of plotting to kill the cartoonist whose work had spurred deadly protests in the Muslim world.

The papers said they wanted to show their firm commitment to freedom of speech after Tuesday's arrests in western Denmark.

The Jyllands-Posten newspaper, which first published 12 depictions of Muhammad on Sept. 30, 2005, reprinted Kurt Westergaard's cartoon in its Wednesday edition. Several other major dailies also reprinted the drawing, which shows Muhammad wearing a turban shaped like a bomb with a lit fuse.

I hope so, but the newspapers backed down mighty fast the first time the controversy erupted.

Solemn Reminder

Yesterday I drove home from work along the usual route, past the Iwo Jima memorial, past the Pentagon and then Arlington Cemetery. Close to the road and up a slight hill, a military funeral was in progress. The horse drawn caisson, the honor guard and the friends and family all gathered for a sad but proud ceremony, in silhouette against the cloudless afternoon sky.

I'm reminded of Bill Whittle's essay titled Honor:

...nowhere in the world do ordinary servicemen or women receive anything like this level of honor and respect and reverence, and she is right. All nations honor their generals and heroes. This nation honors privates and sergeants in indistinguishable fashion.

Walking behind the flag-draped caisson of an Army 2nd Lieutenant that day, I felt that my father was receiving the funeral of the President of the United States. And, number of people on the parade route aside, as a matter of fact, he was.

I often complain about living in this area. I'm sometimes reminded that I'm fortunate beyond words to be living here.

Just Call Me Jelly, 'Cause I'm On A Roll

In the last two weeks, I've won *two* free books from sites on the internet. First up, thanks to Mapgirl's Fiscal Challenge, I won a copy of the personal finance primer Debt is Slavery. I've already read it and passed it on to my son, and hopefully he'll be able to apply it's concepts to his life. He needs it.

Author James Newman is a regular over at the Wildside Cinema forums, and last week he held a contest for a copy of one of his out-of-print books, Midnight Rain. Yours truly won that one as well, with a childhood story of the uneasy sort. I'm really looking forward to reading this one.

I'd buy lottery tickets, but why break my hot streak?

Christmas in February

Yesterday my last Christmas present arrived in the mail. Liz had forgotten that she'd ordered Silent America for me.

Worth the wait.

SACMAO

That stands for "Snorting and Choking My Ass Off" since I can't laugh out loud at the moment.

Following Buckethead's advice, first you go read this. Trust me. Er, if you find my kind of twisted humor funny, then trust me. Otherwise, don't... but still, go read.

Then, click this link to the Ministry of Minor Perfidy to see the "missing" picture. If you did this in the right order, i.e. read first, then missing picture, then you will howl with laughter. Or snort and choke. Or decide once and for all that I'm going to burn in hell for eternity. Or D, all of the above.

Dolphins Messing With Their Pet Humans Again

Check out this incredible video.

Now follow this link to get an explanation for what the hell it was you just watched.

Thanks to Mad William for the pointer. And yes, I could embed the video. I choose not to. Just because. I'm contrary that way.

Valentines Day is Fast Approaching

Don't get caught without something unique for your sweetie!

Or for those who prefer that "homemade" touch...

Here's another alternative for those crafty types. Who knows, maybe you did this as a kid?

My Mom Said I Could!

Hilarious commercial.

And Here I Was, Bragging About My 3-D Background

Thanks to the Queen of Slack for the pointer.

D-Day on a budget.

That's my title. It's a four minute video that is absolutely amazing.

Channelling Dave Thomas

Thanks to Owlish, who's feeling a bit under the weather, to put it mildly.

Classical Harp

I received a new harmonica for Christmas and have been dutifully practicing. Not that it's a chore or anything, because making music - any kind of music - is fun and I've been doing it all my life. And though some people might find this video discouraging, I find it nothing but inspirational.

Thanks to Jimbo for the pointer.

Sir Edmund Hillary Dies

First man to stand atop Mt. Everest, he died in hospital on Friday in Auckland, New Zealand. He was 88 years old.

Sir Edmund wrote of his and Tenzing's final push to the roof of the world: "Another few weary steps and there was nothing above us but the sky. There was no false cornice, no final pinnacle. We were standing together on the summit. There was enough space for about six people. We had conquered Everest."

They stayed about 15 minutes, taking pictures as proof, before descending again. He later greeted a fellow expedition member with the words:

Well, George, we've knocked the bastard off.

He will be given a New Zealand state funeral on January 22. Read more about this remarkable man and his equally remarkable life here (for a start).

Majestic, In the Air and On the Water

I had no idea, but bald eagles are excellent swimmers:

Q. Can a Bald Eagle swim?

A. Great question. Absolutely. They are very good swimmers, and I've even seen older nestlings who can't fly yet swim. It's not uncommon for an eagle to "misjudge" and latch into a fish too heavy/large for it to fly with, so they then may swim quite a distance to shore (wouldn't want to let go of lunch now would we), drag the fish up on shore and then eat it.

This page has more swimming eagle stories, plus more links.

Government, *ANY* Government, Is Not Your Friend

Alternate title: A politician is a politician is a politician...

While the Democrats try to figure out whether it's more about "change" to nominate a woman or a black man, let's not forget that Republicans can also do serious damage to our freedoms.

For instance, in California (land of Ahhhnold) there's a little plan afoot.

Title 24, California's state-mandated energy regulatory code is about to be revised to implement a requirement that will allow the state to take control of the thermostat in every new home and office in the state.

You like it a little cooler in the summer? Willing to pay for the higher electric usage? Too bad, sucka. The state now controls the amount of heating and cooling in your house (I say heating because heat pumps do both jobs). Oh, and as written, it's not just new construction, it's also any "change" to an existing home's heating and a/c system. Betcha that "change" will be defined to include annual maintenance checkups too. Any takers?

Meanwhile, all the way across the country in Massachusetts (you know, where Mitt Romney used to be guv'ner), their state-mandated universal health care plan is showing signs of being in serious trouble. After it's first year of operation, costs are running 150 million dollars above projections, and non-participants are being fined up to $1,800.00.

One year. $150,000,000 over budget.

They want you to believe that they know better than you how to spend your money.

See those QandO links for quotes and more.

Too Funny Not to Pass Along

From McQ over at Q&O:

I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline.

Got a call center in Pakistan.

I told them I was suicidal.

They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

Cooking in Lingerie

Via YouTube. Not me, for those who were worried about that.

Go On, Expand Your Horizons, I Dare Ya!!!

Crank it up and be prepared to dance, Benny Lava.

All the Ranting With None of that Fattening Common Sense!

I'm gonna link to myself here, because you *must* read the comment that was left.

Bot or Nut? What say you?

Kit Kat Buffet

Did anyone else know that Kit Kat candy bars came in different flavors outside the US?

What the Well-Dressed Freedom Lover is Wearing

Check out this wicked cool shirt from Stephen over at Hold the Mayo.

On the Thirteenth Day of Christmas

...my true love gave to me,
thirteen sluts a'stripping.

Ok, so that's not so funny, but this version is, with more spirit and talent too.

Really, click that link and enjoy.

Thanks to Amy for the pointer.

Maybe I'll Come Up With A Snappy Title Later, Right Now My Brain Is Numb

Erica pointed this one out.

Blackle.

From their "About" page:

Blackle saves energy because the screen is predominantly black. "Image displayed is primarily a function of the user's color settings and desktop graphics, as well as the color and size of open application windows; a given monitor requires more power to display a white (or light) screen than a black (or dark) screen." Roberson et al, 2002

In January 2007 a blog post titled Black Google Would Save 750 Megawatt-hours a Year proposed the theory that a black version of the Google search engine would save a fair bit of energy due to the popularity of the search engine. Since then there has been skepticism about the significance of the energy savings that can be achieved and the cost in terms of readability of black web pages.

We believe that there is value in the concept because even if the energy savings are small, they all add up. Secondly we feel that seeing Blackle every time we load our web browser reminds us that we need to keep taking small steps to save energy.

You know, this isn't such a terrible thing. They're not being complete tree-hugging dicks about it and they're right about little things adding up. I won't be using it though, because the damn thing is almost unreadable with the gray on black scheme.

Wanna bet some ex-Vice Prez already has Goregle registered?

A Break From the Surrealism at the Mall

Have a little surreal here on your monitor:

Japanese McDonalds commercial.

Open Ass, Insert Head

Curt Schilling does it again.

Schilling commended those who've apologized for using performance-enhancing drugs, and called on everyone accused to prove their innocence or apologize for their mistakes.

Here's an idea, why don't you prove you don't molest farm animals, or apologize for it?

So far, the "evidence" consists of testimony given by a few people who hope that their cooperation will get them lighter sentences. I guess that's proof enough for Schilling. I'm not saying that these baseball players are innocent, I'm just trying to figure out how one proves a negative.

Schilling should apologize for waterboarding kids he meets at the Special Olympics. Or prove he doesn't.

He's an idiot with a big mouth. I just wish it was muffled more when his head is up his ass.

Rest In Peace, My Friend

Tom, aka Triticale, has unexpectedly passed away.

Early Christmas Present

She's back.

I Needed to Laugh

This is brilliant.

After the all of endless days of the California fire quagmire, it's time for America to admit that it can't win this battle. We must immediately withdraw our forces and go home. But until our so-called "leaders" in Washington wise up to the folly of their current course, all we can do is ask ourselves, "why does fire hate us?".

The comments are almost as.

The ones who want to put it out are obviously in the pocket of Big Water.

I would just like to say that I am against firefighting but for the firefighters.

I can't see how some people are saying they support putting the fire out, yet don't serve in the fire department.

ChickenHosers.

There's so much more, go check it out.

Surreal

Sweet Home Albania Alabama.

Thanks to Wizbang! for the pointer.

Downside: Less Portable than a Magazine, Upside: Way Funnier

What happens when you combine a viewmaster, viewmaster porn disks, and a young man with that good ol' American ingenuity?

More importantly, what happens afterwards?

Thanks to Dustbury for the pointer.

Before I Go Screw It All Up

The new Rocket Jones is up, all pristine and defaultish and ready for me to move in. Once I give the say so, Pixy will finalize the move and then it'll become the permanent place under this URL. So don't adjust your links, because we're going to do it all for you. We're nice like that. Well, Pixy is.

Aye Matey, 'tis That Time o' Year Again

Talk Like A Pirate Day.

Arggh, pirates and rockets, shiver's me timbers, it does!

Any further bloggin' done today will be done with one o' these.

Too Good to Not Pass Along

I saw this thanks to Dustbury, from Writer Chick, on the subject of Assclowns:

Personally, I blame the schools. Back in the day when I was in school, you weren’t taught about sexuality and multiculturism, you were taught math, english, history and economics. You were expected to use your brain and be aware of the fact that there were actually other people in the world, who also had opinions. And said opinions were expected to make sense by using facts and critical thinking. Can you say, debate club? You were expected to actually earn your grades through study, hard work and turning in legible papers, reports and passing tests. You weren’t graded on a curve - you were graded on what you got right and what you got wrong.

Seems like these days you don’t need facts, the ability to think or even a valid argument of any kind. Having an opionion is more than enough. And since we’ve leveled the playing field, we are supposed to be willing to listen to anybody about anything, lest we show our racist, bigoted or intolerant selves. Hey, just because is a convicted serial killer and rapist doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a right to an opinion. Charles Manson is just a grossly misunderstood guy. Suddam wasn’t hurting us, why did we hurt him? That five year old who kissed the little girl in the playground awaits trial for sexual harrassment. If he’s lucky, he’ll get counseling and some mind altering drugs that will set him straight.

Amen.

It's A First!

Mookie sent this link to the first "Old Timer" T-shirt designed for today's kids. And by that, I mean, it's a shirt today's kids can wear when they become oldsters. You know, like 30 or something.

On a related note, I kinda like this one too.

Blue Music

Local independent musician Blue sent out an email late last week:

Hi kids!

I hope this finds you all well.

I've (finally) finished the 8-song preview for the forthcoming Booze
Monkey album, "4th St."

I'm going to distribute this preview freely to anyone who is willing
to give it a listen. I'm currently preparing to print up a short run
of preview discs. I have two songs remaining to record. After
recording those I will be manufacturing the record for full
distribution (ala "Gorsky" or "Holly").

Below is a link to a zip file containing digital copies of this
preview, with lyrics and artwork embedded into the mp3s. They are
LAME encoded at 160. A preview-cover jpg and an rtf featuring lyrics
and quasi-liner notes is also included. If you use iTunes you can
simply unzip, and then drag the folder over the "playlist" portion of
iTunes to generate a gapless (important) playlist for the album with
the lyrics and artwork displayed as well.

If you are interested, please check it out. If you dig it, please
share it by any means possible... (except selling it... grin)... burn
it, rip it, mix, muddle, cut, copy, paste, et al.

The website (including the page linked below) is currently dead wood.
I will revisit it as I gear up for the launch of this record.

http://SanityCheck.net/music/music.html

The link is located in the body of the text on the page.

Smoodles!

Blue

What I'm hoping for is to set up some sort of blogmeet in Winchester, Virginia when Blue does a live show in that area. Hopefully this fall or winter. A bar-based get together with live music? What a switch, eh?

Someone Should Explain It To Them

This is the best unintentionally funny corporate name since Wang.

I'm Pretty Sure It's Just Me

Am I the only one who thinks it would be hilarious to serve Chinese food in one of these bowls?

Glad It's Over

It was *that* kind of week at work.

Yet Another Reason Why My Life Is Better Than Yours

Because Mookie buys me stuff like this for my birthday.

Glow-in-the-Dark Flesh Eating Zombies Play Set

You know I giggled like a little kid and immediately ran into the dark bathroom to see 'em glow.

It's the perfect accompaniment to the Horrified B-Movie Victims Figure Set that she got me for Christmas.

Hey, I've got a zombie *dog*! Not to mention the bathrobian zombie on the far right. I know Dogette is jealous.

As If I Needed Another Reason to Hate the Denver Broncos

As a Raiders fan, I hate the Broncos with a fierce burning passion. This though, has nothing to do with the team, and everything to do with one of the players on the team.

Travis Henry, irresponsible whore.

[Broncos running back Travis] Henry, 28, has fathered nine children by nine women in at least four Southern states and has been ordered by various judges to provide child support for seven of them, according to court records involving one child living in DeKalb County.

Henry gets my vote as "Athlete Most in Need of Chemical Neutering". Michael Vick is being crucified for killing dogs, but that pales in comparison, because besides the lack of personal responsibility, Travis Henry is an asshole as well:

Although he signed a five-year, $22.5 million contract with the Broncos this off-season that guarantees him $12 million, Henry's lawyer says, "He doesn't have any money."

I hate to say it, but I half expect him to be playing for the Raiders at some point,

Yes, I'm Sad and Pitiful

But well paid, so it evens out.

At work, I am what we used to call in the military, the "shitty little jobs guy". All of the crap tasks that nobody else wants to do get assigned to me. At first, it was because until I was up to speed on the office procedures, it was a way to keep me busy and to free up other people. Now, it's because management has realized that it doesn't matter how dull or thankless the job, I'm going to do the best with it that I can. It's a mixed blessing. On the one hand, I get attaboys for doing these important but excruciatingly mind-numbing tasks each and every day. On the other, I've done them so well that they can't imagine giving them to someone else who won't be as conscientious about it. I'm not bragging here. I've told my manager that I hate doing it with a passion, but as long as it's part of my job, I'll do my best.

So each and every morning, I spend anywhere from an hour to four hours doing mindless and repetitive (and critical) "chores", for lack of a better word. Lately, I've been listening to audio books while I work.

I linked to Podiobooks a while back (oops, I did it again), and most of what I've been enjoying has come from there.

Initial Impressions:

Come, Let Me Whisper - excellent short horror stories. I recently finished Burt's novel, Revelations, and that was very good too. I'm now downloading further episodes of CLMW from his website.

(these others are all available at Podiobooks.com)

Crescent - Science Fiction. I've heard the first two episodes, and so far it's easily keeping my interest.

Shadow Falls - This one is like a cross between Twin Peaks and Rosemary's Baby. By far the best audio production I've heard... as in, excellent sound and effects. It's too soon to tell whether the story can keep up the momentum after an awesome start.

Brave Men Run - an alternate history fiction, with elements reminiscent of The Incredibles. Another excellent beginning.

You download these to your PC or mp3 player, just as you would a podcast. Highly recommended.

Laugh Out Loud Funny

From Galacticast, it's:

RoboJew vs. Giant Nazi Woman of the SS

Thanks to Ghost of a flea for the pointer.

Soon to be Added to the Blogroll

Over at Primordial Slack, Joan has gotten her first Instalanche. Go visit and be impressed, she's good.

I myself got an Instalanche once. Way back when I first started blogging. The difference is that Joan has gotten her *first* Instalanche, whereas I peaked early.

It's been all downhill for me ever since. But then, you already knew that. ;)

Also, Mad William Flint fell off the ol' radar for awhile, but has made a reappearance in the comments. Another excellent read, and don't miss his take on the new Microsoft Vista.

Every Silver Lining Has A Dark Cloud In It, and Vice Versa

Hold the Mayo has the pointer, along with these words:

You likely have some familiarity with the Broken Windows theory. It basically holds that a window left broken is an indication that the property is not valued and an invitation to further vandalism. That the effect of that broken window - if not countered - can lead to the eventual decay of the surrounding area.

If broken windows can be seen as an effective predictor of a neighborhood's future, then it must also portend good things - when there is New Glass.

Here's the original post, also well worth reading. Have a taste:

Today the boulevard is wide open and people are walking the streets. Women in abayah's, men in dishdasha, soccer attire, and a few in suits talking on their cell phones. Some people ignore our small convoy, some look suspiciously, and some wave.

There at the first corner, I see it. New glass. Someone has put new glass in a shop. Someone only installs new glass when they think it won't get broken. New glass is confidence.

As we roll though Ramadi I see more stores and small shops open. And more new glass.

New glass.

You've Dreamed About Doing Stuff Like This! (Updated)

Admit it.

Coming soon to a bookstore near you:

Forbidden LEGO
Build the Models Your Parents Warned You Against

You know you want it. Follow the link to check out some cool video and then tell me you don't.

Once again, Texas Best Grok provides the pointer.

Update: Oh fer cryin' out loud, people! No, it's not porn! Sheesh. I said "bookstore", not "adult bookstore"...

Since I'm On This Audio Kick

Check out this awesome list of free ebook resources!

Umm... yeah, they're not audio.

Thanks to Texas Best Grok for the pointer.

Audible History

I talked a while back about podiobooks.com, and how I've been listening to a few different audiobooks while at work. So far, so great.

One I especially wanted to mention is Great Moments in History. By packaging memorable events in a modern "breaking news" format, you hear analysis of the action from various viewpoints, on-the-scene interviews, and an unfolding of the story that is rich in details that dry history books discard as superfluous.

For instance, during the description of the British surrender at Yorktown, we learn that French Admiral de Grasse, who was blockading the British from the sea and preventing reinforcements from landing, suffered from asthma to such an extent that he sent a deputy to the formal surrender ceremony. Similar details are given in every episode, from the trial and death of Socrates to Thermopylae to Hastings to Salem for the witch trials, and more. Altogether an extraordinary experience.

Highly, highly recommended.

One Ringy-Dingy, Two Ringy-Dingy...

Over at The Dangerous and Daring Blog for Boys and Girls, Victor has posted a nifty piece entitled: How People Lived: The Dial Telephone.

I love this part:

At midnight on Saturday, May 28, 1927, the city of Fresno was converting to dial telephones, so the phone company released this public service announcement to the local theaters, to teach people how to use that brand-new piece of equipment...the dial telephone.

He includes the link to an online archive video showing the PSA, which you can see by clicking the links above (and yes, I'm asking you to follow a link to a link just to drive more traffic to The Dangerous Blog. Neener neener). Well worth it.

Baseball Nightmares

Bases loaded. Two out. Top of the ninth. Pinch hitter at bat. Wicked curve. Weak popup to first. Game over. *sigh*

Grant says it best, in picture form.

China Toys

So the Chinese bigwig who's company had a million toys recalled because of lead paint has committed suicide.

It's all part of Karl Rove's plan to ruin the Chinese economy, one executive at a time.

Related observation: On the news page where I read about that (the suicide, not the global conspiracy conceived and controlled by the evil puppet master Rove), there were two targeted ads. One was warning me about the massive recall of Mattel toys, and the other was encouraging me to invest in China.

Now I'm wondering what I did to piss off Karl Rove.

Podiobooks

I don't know what it is about the online community, but they seldom miss an opportunity to give something an odd name.

Podiobooks is a term combining the "pod" from podcasting and audio books. In other words, downloadable audio books, which in itself is nothing new. The twist here is that the books are generally free - ala podcasts - and often the author is the one reading the book. Some places solicit donations that get split between the website (to pay for bandwidth) and the author.

I've started listening to a few from Podiobooks.com, and so far I'm liking it. I use the free aggregator Juice to automatically download chapters as they become available, which is working out nicely. There are lots of aggregators out there to choose from and they make things easier but you don't have to use one if you'd rather not.

So, to give you an idea of what's going on here, I'm enjoyably working my way through Come, Let Me Whisper, which is a collection of horror short stories written by Russell Burt. I use the term "horror" as a catch-all, because the stories range from pure ghost stories to Lovecraftian horror. He's got a website too (at the link above), with plenty more beyond what's offered at Podiobooks.com.

I've also listened to the first chapter of Crescent, which is SciFi set on a space station. So far, so good, and I'm eagerly awaiting the next episode.

The third book I'm working through is called Forever Fifteen. In it, a girl who was involuntarily made a vampire to save her from the black plague is living and trying to cope in the modern day. She is, literally, forever fifteen years old. I almost didn't start after seeing it touted as a cross between V.C. Andrews and Stephen King. I'm not a fan of either author, but I'm giving it a chance. So far, I would prefer a little more King and a little less Andrews, but I'm still engaged enough to keep listening.

So there you go. If you're already listening to podcasts on your mp3 player, then these make a nice alternative. If you already listen to audio books - perhaps in your car during your commute - then these are another source for you to check out. I've selected a couple of horror and a SciFi to start, but there were many other genres to pick from and I'm sure a few minutes with google will turn up many other sources.

The Dangerous and Daring Blog for Boys and Girls

Folks, I'm proud to announce the launch of a new group blog: The Dangerous and Daring Blog for Boys and Girls (The Dangerous Blog for short).

We hope to fill it with the kind of wonderfulness that you can find in the bestseller "The Dangerous Book for Boys".

Visit, read, comment, bookmark, send email (DangerousBlog@gmail.com), tell your friends, mention us on your blog and/or post links. Whatever you do will be appreciated.

Pretty Pictures

Japan ran a contest to select the new logo for their Ministry of Defense. You'd think there'd be samurai swords and ninjas, cherry blossoms and rising suns, right?

Nope. Instead, they selected some new-age tree-hugging-ish soda pop logo. Absolutely sickening.

Go check it out over at Who Sucks, along with twenty two other logos from countries around the world. See who gets it right and who gets it oh-so-wrong. Don't forget to log your vote for favorite in the poll at the bottom of the post.

Thanks to Tinkerty Tonk for the pointer.

The Case for Population Growth

Over at Transterrestrial Musings, Sam has fired up an interesting debate with a post about population growth.

States should not be in the business of pushing people to have babies.

Yes they should. A baby will become a taxpayer and a useful citizen. Zero population growth did far more to hold back development of China and India than Reagan's (anti-) family planning policies.

A populous world is a rich world. There will be greater grand challenges that can be tackled. There will be more people to conceive more ideas. A world with one trillion people at the current standard of living would have GDP of $10,000 trillion or $10 quadrillion dollars a year. If 0.2% of that was spent on space exploration that would be $20 trillion/year. At $20,000/kg, that's enough to lift one billion kg. At $200/kg, that's enough to allow one billion people to emigrate to space every year.

A populous world can be the Garden of Eden to settle a harsh solar system and galaxy.

Just imagine, millions and millions of young Asian babes... mmmmmmm.

ZappaStrasse

A fitting tribute:

Frank-Zappa-Strasse or Frank Zappa Street - formerly Street 13 - lies on the eastern outskirts of Berlin amid empty industrial buildings in what was communist East Germany.

The street is home to Orwo Haus, a former Communist-era film factory that now provides practice studios for more than 160 bands.

Musicians at Orwo Haus campaigned for two years to have the street's name changed. Eighteen bands, including the Frank Zappa cover band Sheik Yerbouti, celebrated the renaming this weekend with an all-night concert for more than 2,800 people.

Bravo, Berlin!!!

"DON'T POUR THE FUEL OR YOU WILL MESS YOUR HELL OF DAY"

This is funny as hell. Some guy over at Amazon has posted reviews of a couple of items using his less than perfect English (link from the comments over at Trying to Grok.

While reviewing an electronic Russian-to-English dictionary, he goes off on an anti-American screed. I think.

And also, those mental condition will never make you to speak another language. FIRST THING YOU HAVE TO KNOW IS KNOW YOURSELF SUCKS BALLS AND YOU CAN BE BETTER AS YOU STUDY, AND TRUST ME IT IS HARD TO REALIZE YOURSELF SUCKR OR NOT.

His review of a Zippo lighter is a bit better, in that he stays on topic and offers lots of handy advice:

I THINK I SOLVED ALL QUESTIONS now, JUST REMEMBER, LIFE TIME GUARANTEE AND YOU JUST CALL THEM AND QUEST THEM TO FIX, THEY WILL DO IT FOR FREE (OF COURSE YOU NEED TO BUY LITTLE POSTAGE-STAMP IN ORDER TO SEND, OR JUST WALK TO CLOSE ZIPPO SHOP, AND THEY WILL NOT CHARGE YOU A CENT FOR IT AND THEY WILL POST BACK TO YOU, OF COURSE FOR FREE)

I wish this guy had a blog.

Thinking Blogger Award

Zoe Brain nominated me for the Thinking Blogger Award, for which I'm very grateful and humbled. I'm also aware that with every recipient nominating five others, that within 17 days everyone in the blogosphere will have the award. Methinks Zoe may be misidentifying thought provoking ideas with the confusion caused by reading my nonsense. That's ok though, I'm not giving it back.

And now I am supposed to link to my five nominations for The Thinking Blogger Award, and since we're all Thinking Bloggers or esteemed readers of a Thinking Blogger, I'm going to label my choices in hexidecimal. Congratulate yourself for understanding the complexities of a 16-base numbering system, and by all means follow the links. These are in no particular order.

1. Hold the Mayo. "The Truth Served Plain", and a long-time friend. He doesn't post often enough, but when he does it's a treat.

2. Lovable Pixie. Not well known yet, but she's got the right idea about starting interesting conversations.

3. Mapgirl's Fiscal Challenge. Financial matters from a young single professional who's a little freaked out about her future.

4. The Ministry of Minor Perfidy. An ecclectic group blog, and by that I mean the guys (and girl) writing there range from a BDS-afflicted commie to a right-wing potential tower-sniper. They post beer recipes too!!!

5. Random Nuclear Strikes. Another group blog, with a major focus on the Pacific Northwest. If tree-hugging hippies piss you off, visit here and get a glimpse of what it's like to live amongst the rainbow-heads.

So there you go. Be honest now, how many folks caught my little trick? Number 4 wasn't hexidecimal, it was actually octal!!! Don't you feel smart? That's why you come by, isn't it? To feel smarter than...

Hey!

You Say "Tomato", I Say "Worthless Cocksucker With No Honor Whatsoever"

You've probably heard about the "Scott Thomas" affair, even if you don't recognize the norm-de-ploom. The New Republic published supposed first-hand accounts of alleged abuses by US troops in Iraq under the title "Shock Troops".

As you would expect, people across the spectrum reacted in accordance with how well the described actions fit their preconceived notions about the military. Certain shrillbots screamed vindication because this proved what they'd been saying all along. Others on the other end immediately called bullshit.

I am firmly in the "bullshit" camp, mainly because the stories don't pass the smell test. Parts of the story don't add up, and corroborating witnesses are as anonymous as "Scott Thomas". Just in case you haven't heard, here are the three alleged "eyewitness" accounts: 1. Soldiers in a chow hall make fun of a female contractor who has been facially disfigured by an IED. 2. Soldiers uncover a mass grave full of children's bodies and one soldier wears part of a skull like a hat for the remainder of the day. 3. In a Bradley fighting vehicle, the driver purposely and repeatedly swerves to run over dogs. In each of these cases, "Scott Thomas" gives a first-hand account, placing himself as part of the act. Not as an observer, but as a participant.

Over at QandO, like many places on the 'net, the fact checking has begun in earnest. You can follow links as well as anyone if you want to know more about the specifics, but that's not my point for this post.

What has become clear is that too many Americans today lack honor. Furthermore, they have no concept of what honor is or understand why it is such a powerful motivator for those with it.

A quote from the comments at QandO:

Honor or dishonor is irrelevant and a matter of opinion.

That's from a college professor, by the way.

Here's the reply:

No. NO it is not. That you can even make such a claim just shows that you don’t understand what honor is, which probably means that you have none.

Honor isn’t about opinion. It isn’t about supporting someone’s narrative. It isn’t about speaking truth to power. It’s not about agreeing with someone or not. Honor is about honesty, responsibility, integrity and true compassion.

"Scott Thomas" was a participant in these horrible (and alleged) actions. An honorable person would have reported the second and third to their superiors. In the first case, he would've stepped in and stopped the cruel teasing immediately.

So if what he claims is true, then he is just as dishonorable for his actions during as he is if he's lying about it all.

Honor is something found in greater concentration in the military than anywhere else in society. Those who have never served may never be able to grasp what honor is, why it is important, and how it motivates those "poor stoopid kids" to keep volunteering. They will never understand the lofty ideals that honor inspires, the willingness to risk everything to protect even those who refuse to acknowledge it, and the optimistic belief that by performing their mission they are giving each and every one of us the opportunity to thrive and achieve greatness.

Honor isn't an exclusive trait of conservatives or liberals or white people or the left-handed. It doesn't matter if you agree or disagree or like or dislike an honorable person. You will always know in every situation how that honorable person will act. With "honesty, responsibility, integrity and true compassion."

Thanks Michael.

Voracious Jumbo Squid Invade California!!!

I was all set to panic and then I read the story... they mean Voracious Jumbo Squid Invade the ocean next to California!

Damn.

Podcasts! Yay!!!

Episode 6 of the SciFi adventure Silent Universe is up! Clicky here for the previously posted Rocket Jones review.

And the second season of Second Shift has begun!!! Two episodes and a supplimental podcast have already been posted. If you didn't catch the first season, you can still get them by following the link. Here's the Rocket Jones review of the first season.

Hey!!! Oh, uh... Update: I just looked at the new Second Shift advertising flyer and guess who's review is quoted from? Rather prominently, I might add. Woot!!!

Really though, it's a lot of fun. Give 'em a try.

Now I Just Have to Remember Your Damn Words

A Quiz: How Technologically Useful Are You?

Seven out of ten! I'm almost ready to head back in time and take advantage of my educashun.

The Underappreaciated Art of Firecracker Labels

You gotta love it!

Psst, Jimbo... check out the "Metallic Crocodile" brand. Woo-hoo! Big fun!

Thanks to Maelstrom for the pointer.

Mookie: Birthday Girl

Yesterday. I didn't forget, except the posting about it part. Good thing I'm married to a woman with a better memory than I.

We didn't go see her because she's up to her neck in her summer job getting the second show up and running. La Boheme premiers on Saturday, we'll be seeing it in two weeks.

"It's an opera." I'll pass on the body-cavity search.

(Points to whoever identifies the reference.)

Gee, Who Knew the Pope Was A Republican?

I mean, tossing out the whole "unity" thing.

Pope Benedict XVI has reasserted the universal primacy of the Roman Catholic Church, approving a document released Tuesday that says Orthodox churches were defective and that other Christian denominations were not true churches.

Fair is fair. I remember being told by a Southern Baptist that all Catholics were going to hell.

World's Most Dangerous Tourist Route

There's some disagreement in the comments about whether it's in Tibet or China, but still, this is insane

Follow this link to Damn Cool Pics for more of what the title promises.

Remove Head From Ass. Open Mouth. Insert Foot.

Baseball fans know that the San Fransisco Giants stadium is built on the edge of the bay, and that just behind the right field wall is "McCovey Cove", where during any given game many fans float around in kayaks and canoes or anything else that floats. They do this in the hope of catching a home run ball that travels far enough to clear the stadium and plunk into the water.

San Fransisco hosts this year's All-Star Game and it has been announced that motorized watercraft will not be allowed in McCovey Cove for safety reasons. Also, to accomodate the press, the Giants have chartered two media boats for reporters, which prompted this quote:

"Most of the media appreciate this," Daum said. "They didn't know how to charter their own boats."

To which Grant replies:

I knew a guy who majored in Boat Chartering at M.I.T., so I understand where they're coming from. You can't leave that kind of fact-finding and research in the hands of people who do fact-finding and research for a living.

*snicker*

We Can Laugh Now

Iowahawk has a first-hand account of the attempted terrorist bombings in London and Glasgow, straight from the horse's ass doctor's mouth. This, my friends, is a hilarious must read.

So okay, the big weekend arrives, and the guys come over to my place bright and early, everybody's jazzed about rolling up some kufr carnage. All the propane tanks and propellant and nail cannisters are ready to go. I look at Ali and say, "okay mate, back up your car to the garage and I'll start loading it up." He gets this dumbstruck look on his face and says, "my car? I thought Hassan was going to do the martyrdom." And then Hassan does a massive spit-take with his tea, and he's like, "whoa dude, I rigged the cell phones, I didn't agree to blow up. I thought Mohammed was going to do the blowing up." Then Mohammed's like, "don't look at me, pal, I thought I was just providing the spiritual guidance. Plus my car's in the shop for transmission work." From there it just descended into this big shouting match. Holy frickin' prophet, two years of planning this prank and now everybody wants to pussy out on the actual martyrdom.

Long story short, we decided to draw straws. And guess who wins? Yep, yours truly, good old sucker Khalid, the same guy with a pile of charge card receipts for petrol and propane and hardware. The same guy who ended up having to host two thirds of the martyrdom planning parties at HIS house, because his good old college "pals" always have some convenient excuse about "kitchen remodeling" or "MI6 surveillance," and never lift a finger to help clean up the empty bottles or paper plates or the C5 mess. Well, you know what they say: no good deed goes unpunished. Then the other short straw get pulled by Bilal, and I'm like, oh, great. Now I'll be banging some celestial virgin with that wanker looking over my shoulder.

So, I'm like, "okay, whose donating the cars?" And these dicks just look around at each other, and ANOTHER big argument breaks out, because "I still have 28 payments left," or "it's due for a tyre rotation," or some other lame excuse. So we draw straws again to pick the explosion cars, and guess who wins? Yup, my Benz, the same fucking car I just paid £129.95 to have detailed. So I go to the house and tell my wife Jumanah about the whole deal, and here it comes -- The Look. complete with the whole exasperated eye roll and head shake. I swear, if her dad wasn't my uncle, I'd be tempted to smack that irritating sneer right off her face. So she's like, "fine, go have your fun with your lazy jihad buddies and your 72 virgins. Just leave me the keys to the Jeep so I can get groceries."

There's so much more to the story. Really, go read.

I Am So Annoyed That I Didn't Think of This First

ROFLMAO!!!!!

Thanks to Silent Running for the pointer.

Colorful Inspirations

Here at Rocket Jones, I've had exactly two style designs over the last four years. The "retro" one that you see now, and the original, rather subdued version that lasted for most of three years. Lately I've been giving some thought to another redesign, and looking at different ideas and concepts because I don't want to change things just for the sake of change. The idea is to stretch my HTML/CSS skills, and if it involves some Javascript or other goodies, so much the better.

The point to all this is a link I found:

Color Inspiration from the Masters of Painting

This blog entry examines the color palettes used in several famous paintings. The comments to the post are great too, as designers chip in with the palettes from their favorite paintings.

If you're looking for color ideas (blog or otherwise), this is great inspiration.

Intriguing Idea for Baseball's World Series

I can see the appeal of "World Series Weekend" to a lot of people, from players to owners to cities across the country.

Scott Boras loves the World Series so much, he wants to make it best-of-nine -- and open with two games at a neutral site.

Arguing that the shift would create a marketing bonanza that would rival the Super Bowl, Boras outlined his ideas in a two-page letter he sent to baseball commissioner Bud Selig on April 15.

For cities like Chicago and Washington D.C. that haven't seen a World Series at their parks in years, this could be huge.

I especially like these ideas:

He would open the weekend on a Friday night with a televised gala announcing the MVP, Cy Young, Rookie of the Year and Manager of the Year awards, and have the five top candidates for each in attendance.

Hall of Fame voting would be announced Saturday, with the opener that night and Game 2 on Sunday night. After that, the Series would pick up the 2-3-2 format that's been used since 1925...

Not that I think any of this will actually happen, but maybe the proposal will shake up some of the moribund thinking in baseball circles.

You Know You're In Trouble When the Associated Press Starts Slapping You Down

Michael Moore's new movie, Sicko, is starting to generate buzz as folks see it. Unfortunately, I don't think that this AP news story is quite what he was hoping for:

But one aspect missing from the film is the defense. Do not expect to hear anyone speak well of the care they received in the U.S. On the other hand, patients and doctors from Canada, Britain, France and Cuba marvel at their health care.

If the bias is that obvious, then even those who wish to believe are going to have trouble with it. I mean, who would've thought you'd see things like this:

Moore tells viewers there are about 50 million people in the U.S. without health insurance.

Just this past week, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimated there are about 43.6 million uninsured people in the country. In March, the Census Bureau put the number at 44.8 million.

That's still a lot, but undercounting by millions?!?! Or how about:

Taking on the pharmaceutical industry, Moore says it spent millions of dollars lobbying Congress for a Medicare prescription drug benefit.

"Of course it was really a bill to hand over $800 billion of our tax dollars to the drug and health insurance industry," he said.

Moore is citing the projected cost for the Medicare drug benefit's first 10 years.

Last year, however, Medicare officials told The Associated Press that the projected cost of the benefit through 2015 stood at about $729 billion, a substantial drop compared with original estimates.

What's that first rule about digging a hole?

Moore also noted the some of the elderly in the drug program could end up paying more for their prescriptions than they did before. That is true. But the vast majority do save because of the tens of billions of dollars in annual government subsidies to help cover the cost of their medicine. The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services says people save about $1,200 a year on average by participating in the program, called Medicare Part D.

We need a bigger shovel.

At one point, Moore notes where the U.S. ranks in terms of health care around the world.

"The United States slipped to No. 37 in health care around the world, just slightly ahead of Slovenia," he said.

That ranking is based on a 2000 report from the World Health Organization that some health analysts viewed as misleading.

Yeah, riiiiiiight. Thirty-seventh.

The rest of the article notes where Moore gets it right, but also points out where he tells half-truths, hides inconvenient facts, and misleads you about the numbers in order to make his opinion seem valid.

Michael Moore is a liar. Too bad too, because I understand that he's a talented filmmaker.

Tie Dyeing and Fabric Dyeing

While stationed in Germany with the Air Force, my best friend and I got t-shirts for volunteering to help with the Special Olympics. Soon after that, we tie-dyed the shirts. Soon after that, we wore those shirts to a unit picnic. Soon after that, we were ordered to report for urinalysis testing.

Whether you're a drug-addled hippie freak, or just don't get enough chances to pee in a cup, tie-dyed shirts rock. And now, thanks to this site, you can learn how to do fabric dyeing without the enormous amount of waste that most techniques seem to generate. Follow that link for color recipes, step-by-step methods and much, much more.

Geeks Are Sexy, Unless They're Just Geeks

Horror stories from the world of computers: WorseThanFailure.com.

Besides the head-shakers and groaners, there are some funny stories (unless they happened to you).

"There's a way to schedule tasks?" Frank replied, surprised.

Of course there is a way. Dripping faucet drips into bucket on seesaw. When bucket is heavy enough, seesaw tips lifting lid off cheese plate. Mouse runs out of hole to eat cheese. String tied to mouse tail pulls crank that pushes pencil into CPU power switch. Computer boots and runs browser from Startup menu. When mouse is full, he runs back to his hole, where a piezoelectric switch starts an electric motor that turns a paddle wheel scooping water out of the bucket and onto the floor. Water runs into surge protector, shorting it out and shutting down the computer. Bucket returns it’s original position. Paddle wheel stops when mouse gets hungry (and loses weight). Water dries, leaving power available for the computer.

Really quite elegant.

Ask anyone in the profession and they'll tell you, Dilbert is a documentary.

Test Your Energy IQ

Found at Captain's Quarters.

How well do you understand the energy situation as it stands today? Harris conducted a poll among Americans, and the results were pretty dismal. Take the poll below (in the extended entry) for yourself, and then check out the answers here.

Let me know how you did in the comments. I didn't do so hot.

1. What percent of the world’s 10 biggest oil and natural gas companies are owned and operated by foreign governments?

1 25%
2 50%
3 75%
4 100%
5 Not sure

2. Where does ExxonMobil, the largest U.S. oil and natural gas company, rank in size among the world’s largest holders of oil reserves?

1 Among the top 3 oil reserve holders
2 Among 4th to 6th oil reserve holders
3 Among 7th to 10th oil reserve holders
4 Not among the top 10 largest oil reserve holders
5 Not sure

3. What percent of the world’s proven oil reserves do U.S. oil companies control?

1 0% to less than 10%
2 10% to less than 20%
3 20% to less than 30%
4 30% to less than 40%
5 Not sure

4. According to 2006 projections, what percent of global energy demand in 2030 will be met by fossil fuels, such as oil, natural gas and coal?

1 21%
2 41%
3 61%
4 81%
5 Not sure

5. What percent of U.S. domestic energy needs are currently met by imports?

1 10% to less than 25%
2 25% to less than 40%
3 40% to less than 60%
4 60% to less than 80%
5 Not sure

6. In 2006, how many cents did the U.S. oil and natural gas industry earn in profit on every dollar of gasoline sales?

1 1 to 5 cents
2 6 to 10 cents
3 11 to 15 cents
4 16 to 20 cents
5 Not sure

7. What percentage of U.S. oil companies’ stocks are owned by pension plans and retirement accounts?

1 0% to 15%
2 16% to 30%
3 31% to 45%
4 46% to 60%
5 Not sure

8. On average in 2006, what percent of your gasoline dollar went to the following factors? Please select each response only once.

1 Price of crude oil
2 Refining, distribution and service station costs
3 Federal, state, and local taxes

Write which factor above goes with which percentage below

1 56%
2 26%
3 18%

9. Current government policy restricts access to what percentage of potential offshore U.S. oil and natural gas development sites, off the coasts of the lower 48 states?

1 25%
2 45%
3 65%
4 85%
5 Not sure

10. From 2000 through 2005, U.S. oil and gas companies invested how many billions of dollars on emerging energy technologies in North America (such as biomass, wind, solar, alternative fuel vehicles, gas-to-liquids and oil shale)?

1 $1 to less than $25 billion
2 $25 to less than $50 billion
3 $50 to less than 75 billion
4 $75 to 100 billion
5 Not sure

11. According to Oil and Gas Journal, at 2006 production rates, how many years will the global “known reserves” of oil last?

1 20 years
2 40 years
3 50 years
4 60 years
5 Not Sure

12. According to 2007 data, what percentage of U.S. energy use is currently supplied by renewable sources?

1 0% to less than 10%
2 10% to less than 20%
3 20% to less than 30%
4 30% or more
5 Not sure

13. According to 2007 projections, what percentage of U.S. energy use will be supplied by renewable sources by 2030?

1 0% to less than 10%
2 10% to less than 20%
3 20% to less than 30%
4 30% or more
5 Not sure

14. What percentage of gasoline used in the U.S. would be replaced by ethanol, using current corn-based production technology, if every acre of corn was used for ethanol production exclusively?

1 0 to 10%
2 11% to 25%
3 26% to 40%
4 41% to 55%
5 Not sure

15. What percentage of cars on the road today are designed to operate using the fuel E-85 (a fuel mixture that is 15% gasoline and 85% ethanol)?

1 0% to 5%
2 6% to 10%
3 11% to 15%
4 16% to 20%
5 Not sure

16. In 2030 what percentage of the U.S. light-duty car fleet will be made up of flexible fuel vehicles able to run on E-85 (a fuel mixture that is 15% gasoline and 85% ethanol)?

1 0% to 6%
2 7% to 10%
3 11% to 15%
4 16% to 20%
5 Not sure

17. In the history of the world, the energy industry has produced about a trillion barrels of oil and developed about another trillion into proved reserves for future production. How much recoverable conventional oil does the U.S. Geological Survey estimate remains to be discovered in the future?

1 About half of the oil that has already been produced
2 Between 1 and 2 times the amount of oil that has already been produced
3 Between 3 and 4 times the amount of oil that has already been produced
4 Between 5 and 6 times the amount of oil that has already been produced
5 Not sure

18. In 2006, which of the following countries was the largest U.S. supplier of oil?

1 Saudi Arabia
2 Canada
3 Venezuela
4 China
5 Not sure

19. In 2006, what percent of oil the U.S. consumes came from the Persian Gulf countries?

1 Less than 15%
2 16 to 30%
3 31 to 45%
4 46 to 60%
5 Not sure

20. In 2006, the U.S. imported what percent of its oil?

1 20%
2 40%
3 60%
4 80%
5 Not sure

This one is going on the sidebar too

Thanks to QandO for this one!

Classic.

Every Time We Think We've Got It Figured Out...

You remember what you learned about RNA, right? They're basically molecular dump trucks, running back and forth and collecting the building blocks needed to create proteins in the human body.

That may be a more apt description than we thought, because suddenly scientists are discovering that the "dump trucks" may be just a small percentage of the entire RNA "fleet".

Time to rethink what we thought we knew about DNA and evolution.

What is being proposed is the inheritance of characteristics acquired during an individual's lifetime, rather than as the result of chance mutations. This was first suggested by Jean Baptiste Lamarck, before Charles Darwin's idea of natural selection swept the board. However, even Darwin did not reject the idea that Lamarckian inheritance had some part to play, and it did not disappear as a serious idea until 20th-century genetic experiments failed to find evidence for it.

They're seeing hints pointing to that evidence now. This isn't an alternative to evolution, it's the idea that our bodies tweak the DNA that we pass along according to experiences that occur during our lifetime.

Thanks to Transterrestrial Musings for the pointer.

More LEGO Virtuosity

Hella cool, in a deep down in your gut kinda way.

Murdering Capitalist Running Dogs, One Family At A Time

The headline says it all:

In German crash test, China's Brilliance BS6 sedan fails miserably

"Fails miserably" is the understatement of the year. The thing is a deathtrap, and after seeing the photos of the crash results, you'll realize that "deathtrap" isn't hyperbole.

Smile For The Camera, Even If You're Wearing A Mask

Thanks to a good bud for sending me this link:

The traffic cameras in England are called Gatsos after the manufacturer. Apparently destroying the cameras has become popular sport. Here are four pages of photos showing how people fight back against government surveillance.

Mama Always Said I Was Good Fer Nothin'

Thanks to Michele, who's taking a brief break.
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Mingle² - Online Dating

This Looks Like Fun

In Garrett County, Maryland, a new resort has opened that features a man-made white water rafting course. Built with boulders quarried from the mountain and concrete, there are steel plates at the bottom of the run that can redirect the current to alter the difficulty of the experience from class II to class IV. Cost is $50.00 for a two hour slot, which includes about a half hour of instruction, and four or more runs through the rapids. The water recirculates through a calm "lake" portion as you circle back to the top of the rapids. Looks like they offer kayaking classes too.

News From Iraq: the Good, the Bad, the Ugly

If you aren't reading Michael Yon, you should be. He's been embedded in Iraq for quite some time now and writing about what he sees.

About the current big operation going on:

The enemy in Baqubah is as good as any in Iraq, and better than most. That’s saying a lot. But our guys have been systematically trapping them, and have foiled some big traps set for our guys. I don’t want to say much more about that, but our guys are seriously outsmarting them. Big fights are ahead and we will take serious losses probably, but al Qaeda, unless they find a way to escape, are about to be slaughtered. Nobody is dropping leaflets asking them to surrender. Our guys want to kill them, and that’s the plan.

A positive indicator on the 19th and the 20th is that most local people apparently are happy that al Qaeda is being trapped and killed. Civilians are pointing out IEDs and enemy fighters, so that’s not working so well for al Qaeda.

New Reviews!

Over at Joe Horror. My contributions this week include reviews of The Curious Dr. Humpp, Waxwork and Waxwork II: Lost in Time.

Pushing Up Happy Little Daisies

If you're a Bob Ross fan, you'll get the joke up above.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that You Tube has quite a few Bob Ross "Joy of Painting" episodes available, as well as plenty of wicked funny parodies of the gentle man.

Thanks to Brian J though, for pointing out this video inspired by Bob Ross, titled "Why I Don't Paint People". I love it.

Terrorism Goes To The Movies

I don't have a "Beautiful Sarcasm" category, so this will go under "Cult Flicks" and "Links".

The title is "Terrorism Goes to the Movies" (yep, I stole it for the title above), and it was written last September. Here's a snippet about the movies Alien and the sequel Aliens:

...I have to point out that I was repelled by the socio-political message this movie sends. A team of US Colonial Marines is dispatched to a colony to kill illegal alien beings there. No one mentioned obtaining approval from the United Nations for unilaterally attacking these illegal aliens. And the diplomatic factor was absolutely non-existent, no effort whatever was made to deal reasonably with these illegal aliens, to give them a chance to stand down and cease their hostilities. At no point did the US characters ever ask, "Why do they hate us?"

While it's true an illegal alien killed every member of Ripley's original Nostromo space ship crew without any warning whatever, a stunning surprise attack that terrorized the crew during a meal, there were no follow-up efforts to negotiate any sort of peace with the freedom-fighter -- they just unilaterally decided to kill it, as was the case with a group of these alien beings in the sequel. After the first attack on the Nostromo, everyone should have simply turned the page and moved on. After all, what's passed is past, it's old news. In the sequel, there was no patience or diplomacy whatever in dealings with the illegal aliens, the crew simply attacked and attempted to kill all of them they could.

What if the illegal aliens were driven by an ancient religion that required them to kill all the members of any other species they encountered? Who were these Marines, to question that cultural ideal? The message this sends about such creatures is that the only way to stop them is to kill them, or they will always be striving to kill you. The Marines should have done some yoga instead, and asked themselves again and again, "Why do they hate us?" They at least should have sent in some inspectors -- and if that failed, they should have given the inspections more time to work. Nothing in the world will deter terrorism more effectively than giving inspectors more time.

Take Me Out to the Ballgame

Liz and I travelled to the wilds of Maryland last night to see our local team, the Potomac Nationals, play the Frederick Keys. We met up with Nic and Victor and had a great time, although I discovered to my dismay that the P-Nats (a cringe-worthy nickname, if ever I've heard one), suck just as bad on the road as they do at home.

Afterwards, being that we were only a few miles from CharlesTown, we went there and Liz spent a few hours playing the slots. We dragged in, tired but happy (and a tad poorer), at 5am. Liz is still sleeping, and I've spent the morning enjoying Father's Day cards, talking to the girls on the phone and just generally chilling out.

Life is good.

You Learn Something Every Day

For instance:

The vervet monkey has a vivid blue scrotum which pales when the animal falls in social rank.

Follow that link and be enlightened. Heh.

If Loving This Is Wrong, I Don't Want To Be Right

Ooo! Ahhh!

Thanks to Triticale for the pointer.

Donnie Darko Fan?

Why yes, I am. Not to the degree of obsession that some folks have...

The IMDB Donnie Darko FAQ.

Appreciative of the Chance to Revive an Old Joke

Former U.N. chief Kurt Waldheim has died. He was a long-time sufferer of what came to be known as "Waldheimer's Disease". You know, the one that makes you forget that you're a Nazi.

Apparently We've All Got A Rich Uncle Somewhere

Check out this fascinating map of the USA, where each state has been renamed to a country with a similar GDP. My biggest gripe is that according to this, I was born in France.

Non! Thanks to QandO for the pointer.

Getting It Right

In the front yard flower beds, I finally decided to go all-perennial this year.

After much perusal of the various catalogs, we decided on a variety of plants from Spring Hill Nursery. One variety is still back-ordered, which is annoying, but two others have been in the ground awhile and are doing beautifully (that last link is to the pink variety, we have the white).

In the front bed, I envisioned this nice purple lavender hedge. Unfortunately, the first batch of six arrived dead and dessicated. Spring Hill immediately shipped a second set, which arrived in slightly better condition, but still not better enough to survive.

This morning in my email inbox was a note letting me know that a credit was on the way. No fuss, no hassle, just making it right.

I'm thinking we're going to order more pincusion flowers. Their "real" name is scabiosa, but they're too pretty to be calling them that.

Disclaimer: There are a lot of negative reviews of Spring Hill out on the net. I've been through some of what a many folks complain about, but it's about what I expect when I deal with them. I'm satisfied with them, but I'm patient. It's what gardening is all about.

Sickening

I called in today thanks to a case of the trots. Trying to commute to work in that condition is a little too much like gambling, especially since at the end of the ride I spend another 15 minutes going through card-key checkpoints, turnstiles and cypher-lock doors before getting to my desk (and access to the bathroom).

Speaking of sick, have you heard the latest from the formerly-great state of California?

“Unbelievable” was the reaction from PetPAC today after Members of the California State Assembly voted 41-38 to outlaw the existence of mixed-breed dogs and cats in the Golden State.

Assembly Bill 1634, authored by Los Angeles Assemblyman Lloyd Levine, will allow only select purebred dogs and cats to breed. Pet owners who don’t sterilize their mixed breed pets by four months of age will face a $500 fine and possible criminal penalties.

Thanks to Random Nuclear Strikes for pointing that one out. If I wasn't ill before, I am now.

You Don't Know My Damn Words

But you can, if you head over to Joe Horror and read the latest movie reviews. My contributions this week are The Ryli Morgan Collection (for you indie movie lovers), and Hot Wax: Zombies on Wheels.

Screw iPhone

I want *Surface*!!!!!!!

Thanks to QandO for the pointer.

Shamelessly Stolen

From Grant, over at the McCovey Chronicles:

All-Time Team of Great-Named Giants Draftees:

C - Giuseppe Chiaramonte
1B - Turtle Zaun
2B - Van Fixico
3B - James Snoots
SS - Monico Corral
OF - Sylvester Love
OF - Reuben Smiley
OF - Wynter Phoenix

P - Boof Bonser
P - Kavonski Chatman
P - Everhard Griffiths
P - Harlan Highfill
P - Skip Pitlock

Honorable Mention, Uncomfortable Question Regarding Parents' Ethnicity Division: Juan Eichelberger

Oh Dear

By now, you've probably seen the official logo for the 2012 Olympics in London.

Personally, I kinda like it, although as a logo it's got just about everything wrong. Take another look at it, and tell me if you don't agree that it looks like Lisa Simpson giving a blowjob.

Follow that link for the hilarious animated version, and thanks to QandO for the pointer.

Warning: Fun Ahead

Here's what I did using this Warning Label Generator:

It's going into the banner rotation.

Thanks to Brad Isaac for the pointer.

Tactics Evolve

The frightening thing about this photo is the potential effectiveness. Maybe we can help support the troops by calling our congress-critters and demanding that more beer be sent to our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Thanks to Jay Tea at Wizbang for the pointer.

Teaching History

This looks very cool: Junior Generals.

The idea is that you print out the various forces involved in major battles in history, and let the students game the results using simplified battle rules.

My Latest Horror Movie Reviews

Over at Joe Horror, I review Misty Mundae's Bite Me! (mutant spiders, yay!) and the classic The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. Lots of other good reviews posted too.

Beautiful

This is a must see video. Amazing. Thanks to Dustbury.

Open Purse for Terse Verse

100-word stories have long been one of the features of Blog d'Elisson, and apparently he's now found someone demented enough to run with the idea. You can now buy "Shorts in a Wad: One Hundred 100-Word Stories" at Amazon.com.

You go buy now, he love you short time.

Old School

Mrs. Jones has posted some links to the old Schoolhouse Rock videos. I spent a while singing along with them again.

Conjunction Junction, What's Your Function?...

Like Father, Like Son I Guess

St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Josh Hancock died recently in an auto accident. He rear-ended a tow truck that was stopped in the lane of the road to assist a disabled vehicle. He was driving drunk (almost twice the legal limit), talking on a cell phone, not wearing a seat belt, speeding, and there was pot found in the wreckage of his SUV.

Now his father is suing. First, the bar that served his son alcohol, even though he's been described as a "regular" there. Also named in the lawsuit is the tow truck company and driver, because they should've been professional enough to have already have moved the disabled vehicle out of the roadway. While he's at it, he's suing the driver of the disabled vehicle for failing to maintain it well enough to keep it from breaking down. The vehicle that stalled had spun out after being cut off by another car, barely avoiding an earlier accident.

It's obvious that the dead kid had inherited his father's rotten judgement. I wonder if he was a clueless asshole with a victim-complex too?

Photos from the Team America Rocketry Challenge

A nice slideshow of photos of the Team America Rocketry Challenge, from DoD (just click the "next" button at the bottom to scroll through).

Thanks to Pratt Hobbies blog for the pointer!

Psst...

*whisper* Rachel Lucas is back! */whisper*

*sqeeeeee!!!!!!*

Mookie in the News

Her Directorial debut.

Best Headline of the Day

Yankees' Wang Hit Hard

Fastball or thrown bat?

Booms

Boomshine. An addictive little flashgame with a beautiful musical score. Thanks to the Llama Butchers for pointing this one out.

Meanwhile, over at Random Nuclear Strikes, David attended this year's Boomershoot (follow that link and be sure to check out the second page for more pictures and video). Basically, Boomershoot is an event where you shoot exploding targets at long range. Great fun, and some beautiful gun porn if you're into that sort of thing.

ROFLMAO

Thanks to QandO for pointing this one out!!!

Former President Clinton provided clues for today's NY Times crossword puzzle, and Wonkette was kind enough to get us started.

Online SciFi

DeDoc is the editor of Voices/Future Tense, an online Science Fiction anthology. Issue 5 is up!

Swordfight? Really?

I have no problem believing the rest of this video (language alert and adult themes). Besides, who *doesn't* enjoy beating up on ol' Tom Cruise anymore?

How Gay is Top Gun?

Thanks to Owlish, who's back on the blogroll after falling off the radar a while back.

Somebody Didn't Get the Memo

I was kidding, guys.

Yet over at QandO, they found someone who isn't.

Surprising

Rocket Jones is number one if you search Google for "Buckethead Son".

It's Been Awhile

Yay, Viking Kitties!

Three Sentences

Found these over at Random Nuclear Strikes.

Comrades! We must abolish the cult of the individual decisively, once and for all. -- Nikita Khrushchev

All our lives we fought against exalting the individual, against the elevation of the single person. -- Vladimir Lenin

We must stop thinking of the individual and start thinking about what is best for society. -- Hillary Clinton

Frightening, innit?

Only the Second Time in History

Fire melts steel and reinforced concrete collapses. I wonder when Rosie will claim that the government secretly wired the overpasses for demolition?

Just to get even with those lefty Californians, no doubt.

Probably Not What They Had In Mind

By "they", I'm talking about Mapgirl and Sarah of Trying to Grok, who are both avid knitters.

By "what", I'm talking about yarn porn. Or more correctly, some anatomically-correct naughty bits you can knit for yourself. Apparently some of the items are used as training aids in various childbirth classes, but some are just... naughty. And funny, like this Willie Warmer (that link opens a pop-up window, and yes, the pun is intentional).

A little helpful advice from the comments there:

Just don't make that Willie Warmer out of an itchy wool!

Facades

I am a San Fransisco Giants baseball fan. I could also have said, "I loath the Los Angeles Dodgers", which means the same thing. It's more than a rivalry, it's a universal constant, a diametric opposite, much like (to borrow a pop culture reference) Buffy against the evil soul-stealing vampires (which is more apt than the average baseball fan realizes).

"Oh sure", I can hear some of you saying, "Ted, you're really blowing this out of proportion." You really think so? Thanks to Grant, over at the McCovey Chronicles, we have solid proof (for you non-Giants fans). Take a gander at this:

It's no accident that the Dodgers are *the* team for Hollywood.

That Wascawwy Newton

The Cartoon Laws of Physics.

Cartoon Law 1: Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation.

Thanks to a commenter at QandO for pointing this one out.

Coincidence?

Dow Jones breaks 13,000.

Rosie leaving The View.

Surrrrre it is. Ain't conspiracy theories fun?

About Time

I stole the title from I Travel By Bubble, where I found the link too.

The Wiccan pentacle has been added to the list of emblems allowed in national cemeteries and on goverment-issued headstones of fallen soldiers, according to a settlement announced Monday.

Pet Food Poisoning

May have been intentional.

Food and Drug Administration investigators say the Chinese companies may have spiked products with the chemical melamine so that they would appear, in tests, to have more value as protein products.

Officials now suspect this possibility because a second ingredient from China, rice protein concentrate, has tested positive for melamine. So has corn gluten shipped to South Africa.

Thanks to The Ministry of Minor Perfidy for the pointer (in the comments).

Quote of the Day

Over at QandO, in reference to France:

...a country that fought Disney and McDonalds harder than it fought the Nazis still has a reason to blush a bit.

Zing!

After Annexing Canada, We Can Deal With Those Uppity Vulcans

What did Canada ever do to us? Two words: Northwest Passage. Two more words: Global Warming. Oh yes, there are patterns within patterns within patterns.

Speaking of which, courtesy of Zoey Brain, this uber-cool interactive star map. Go check it out. Really, this is amazing.

Too Much Respect To Go for the Easy "Ho" Joke

Don Ho passed away at the age of 76.

Most famous for his song "Tiny Bubbles", the man was a high school football star good enough to get a sports scholarship on the mainland. During the Korean war he piloted cargo planes between Hawaii and Tokyo.

When he returned home and took over his parents' struggling neighborhood bar, Honey's, he put together a band and started performing at his father's request.

"I had no intention of being an entertainer," Ho said. "I just played songs I liked from the radio, and pretty soon that place was jammed. Every weekend there would be lines down the street."

Honey's became a happening place on Oahu, with other Hawaiian musicians stopping in for jam sessions. Ho began to play at various spots in Hawaii, then had a breakout year in 1966, when appearances at the Coconut Grove in Hollywood helped him build a mainland following, and the release of "Tiny Bubbles" gave him his greatest recording success.

Soon he was packing places such as the Flamingo Hotel in Las Vegas. Stars such as Lucille Ball, Sammy Davis Jr. and Frank Sinatra were known to be in the audience for Ho's shows.

Ho also became a television star, and hosted the "The Don Ho Show" on ABC from 1976-77. One of Ho's most memorable TV appearances was a 1972 cameo on an episode of "The Brady Bunch."

"I've had too much fun all these years," he said in the 2004 interview. "I feel real guilty about it."

He did his final show last Thursday night.

CheatSheets!

If you do html, css, java, php, regular expressions, etc.

I Don't Know What's Wrong With Me, But I Bet It's Hard To Pronounce

Down below, the title "I Vaaaaant to Suck Your Blooooooood", about the Dracula opera... while I was typing that, I was singing it in my head along with some quickie made-up song lyrics...

...to the tune of the theme from Ice Castles!

For those wondering, Robbie Benson said "We forgot about the flowers" to Lexie at the end of that movie. Welcome to the Rocket Jones Sensitive Moment.

And here's a page chock full o' midi files, including *three* versions of "Through the Eyes of Love." The middle version - labeled (1) - is the best.

K's Moving Pictures

From the host of K's Lounge (NSFW), a new site featuring videos of sexy asian ladies dancing and doing, er... naughty things.

Knit Your Own Bunny

Awwwww, how cute.

Marketing 101

Over at Dawn's Place.

2. You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and, pointing at you, says, “She’s fantastic in bed.” That’s Advertising.

The explanation for Junk Mail is priceless.

Quick! Hand me that clue-by-four!

Brewer Anhauser-Busch comes out with a new energy drink called Spyke, which contains 12 percent alcohol. The packaging is miniature, since the product is sold in 2 ounce portions. Naturally, some people who just want to "protect the children" are insisting that the product be removed from the market.

"Saying that it is the parent's responsibility to keep it out of the hands of young people is absolutely ridiculous," Hacker said.

Parenting? Why bother, when we can just pass a law.

Festival of Frugality

There is something for everyone on this big ol' internet, and one my hang outs are the personal finance blogs.

This week, the loverly Mapgirl is hosting the 68th edition of the Festival of Frugality. I highly recommend you go check it out. Who knows? You might discover a new addition to your blogroll.

PS: A great demonstration of frugality is our semi-regular minor league baseball game blogmeets. I mean, why pay major league prices for minor league quality? And yeah, that's a slam on the Washington Nationals.

A Mashup Made In Heaven Hell

A Hard Day's Night of the Living Dead.

Thanks to Dustbury for the pointer (and he saw it here).

The Best and the Worst April Fool's Day Pranks

100 Best of all time (Sidd Finch is #2).

The Lincoln Memorial has also been sold, though to a different corporation, and would now be known as the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial -- White House press secretary Mike McCurry, when asked about the supposed sale of the of the Liberty Bell to the Taco Bell Corporation, who announced plans to rename it the Taco Liberty Bell.

10 Worst of all time.

Imagine reading that your husband or brother who has been held in a squalid Romanian prison for years is finally going to be released. You make the long journey to the prison and stand outside the prison gates, waiting desperately for the moment you'll be reunited with your loved one, only to hear... 'April Fools! No one's being released!'

Those wacky Romanians.

Playground

I've been spending time over at the new Minx beta test site. Stop by, leave comments and pings, and let's all give this puppy a serious workout.

Big Warm Fuzzy Secret Heart

Me Code Monkey too.

Thanks Pixy, that's awesome.

By the way, I've watched all three versions, and although the sound quality isn't as good as the first one, I like the video of the girl dancing the best. I just think she captured the song, and I loved her facial expressions.

Alzheimer's Gardens

While googling about for garden-related information (spring is in the air!), I came across this site about designing a garden for those aflicted with Alzheimer's.

Good garden design can be part of a treatment plan for people with Alzheimer's who are very restless or agitated and who like or need to walk a lot...

You can plan a garden that allows access outside but always leads the wandering person back to their house or building.

Think about visibility and observation so caregivers can relax if they use the time for separate pursuits.

I'd never thought about it before, but it makes perfect sense. Or maybe I have thought of it before, but it still makes perfect sense.

Anti-Zombie Rifle Project

Now here's a man who takes preparations for the undead apocolypse seriously.

Thanks to Random Nuclear Strikes for pointing this one out.

No Spitting Either!

China has unveiled their official Olympic logo:

Image stolen from the Jawas, who got it from somewhere else.

Precisely!

A Promise Made Is A Promise Kept.

Unknown Kadath Mountaineering Club?

It's no secret that I am a huge Lovecraft fan, which is why I dearly love this shirt.

Thanks to the Flea for this link and others of a Cthulhu bent.

Google Chumming As Hard As I Can

Warning: Indelicate Language Follows.

Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks!

Ok, so remember when I said that my DVD drive went kaput a couple of weeks ago? The laptop was still under warranty, so I took it in to the "Geek Squad"* and they had it for two weeks. It came back in a reasonable time, called me when it arrived and when I picked it up the itemized receipt showed that they had replaced the DVD drive.

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There was also a note saying that the DVD drive was not accessable from "My Computer" (or anywhere else, as it turns out) because of a software problem. You know what the software problem is? They didn't bother to install the fucking device driver for the new goddamned drive!!! They booted from the drive to ensure that it worked, and that was it. Installing the driver is my problem because the warranty doesn't cover "software".

Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks!

Of course, finding and then installing the new driver from the internet turned into a bit of a hassle (translation: major fucking ordeal) that corrupted the Windows bootup, so I had to restore back two days to get back to normal. I still don't have a DVD drive working - yet - and once I calm down I'll try again.

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*"Geek Squad" gets their own special rant. What is it with this juvenile cutsie bullshit? Do they think anyone is impressed with their psuedo-military codenames on their paperwork? C'mon... "Tactical Analysis"? I fucking told you that the goddamned DVD drive didn't work. If this is the best you can do with your mad computer skillz then I suggest immediate suicide, because you're a goddamned loser and there is no fucking hope for a dickhead like you.

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Maybe Someone Sells "Hypocritical Asshole" Offsets?

According to this editorial, the supposedly "green" Prius is an environmental nightmare, especially when compared to the Hummer.

Thanks to the Jawas for the pointer.

Dredging Up A Little History

The Llama Butchers note that today is the anniversary of the battle between the Monitor and the Virginia (aka Merrimac). That rang a bell, faintly, and I recalled a post I made way back on the history of ironclads in the US Navy. There were more of them than you realize.

Not As Good As "Sofa King", But Pretty Darned Good

From Dustbury, a link to this page of cleverly named portable toilet companies.

Around here, the common names are "Johnny on the Spot" and "Don's Johns". If I ever need a second career, maybe "Ted's Heads"...

The Greatest Computer Game Ever

M.U.L.E.

Plus, a brief bio about its tragic, underappreciated creator.

For those wishing to play this classic today, follow this link.

*wiping tears of laughter*

I've never seen an elephant wearing glasses, but then again, I'm sure I've never read a news story that begins:

MASTURBATING an elephant in the cause of science isn’t an easy job...

Llama Butchers, damn you, tomato soup *hurts* when it comes out your nose!

Not To Brag, But...

List all 50 states in ten minutes.

I did it in 4:53, but spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to spell &@*#! Massachusetts.

Thanks to Transterrestrial Musings for the pointer.

"Cute" Is Just A Disguise

I've said before that Ladybugs creep me out. In the spirit of "know thy enemy", I found this page with all kinds of information and pictures about ladybugs. *shudder*

Lots of info there, although some of the links seem to have expired.

It's As Hot As The Surface Of The Sun, Perfectly Suitable For A Spot Of Culture!

In Nevada, the Goldwell Open Air Museum.

Ignore the pretentious bullshit such as:

[a] group of prominent Belgian artists created a self-described art situation

Just follow the link, check out the photos, and bask in the cool.

You Can't Hit What You Can't See

At least, that's what they used to say, now you can't even hit what you can see.

"I can't see the [expletive deleted] thing," said RAAF Squadron Leader Stephen Chappell, exchange F-15 pilot in the 65th Aggressor Squadron. "It won't let me put a weapons system on it, even when I can see it visually through the canopy. [Flying against the F-22] annoys the hell out of me."

Your tax dollars at work, and apparently delivering what was promised.

Thanks to QandO for the pointer.

Doom, I Tell You, DOOOOOM!!!

I laughed my ass off during my commute home today. Newsradio breathlessly announced, "Stock Market Crumbles".

Holy shit! I needed to hear more!!! I mean, China had a bad tumble overnight and just yesterday Alan Greenspan said the "R" word in a conversation.

After the commercial break, "upcoming stories" told me that the market had been down 500 points today, which is a big deal. Less than two minutes later I'm given the details that the 500 point loss was the low point of the day, and that currently the loss was 340 points. Still bumpy, but not the end of the world.

Five minutes later, the loss was reported as 305 points. Now I'm chuckling, especially when they remind everyone that today's "3 percent drop" pales in comparison to Black Monday in 1987 when the market dropped 22%.

Two minutes later and the loss is less than 300 points. This is comical.

I realize that the market will rise and fall (last week it set a new record high). I also know that over time, the stock market always goes up. I have a 401k and hardly ever pay attention to the market, other than in a general way. For instance, I've known that for weeks there have been warnings about a sell-off being long overdue. Today was the excuse everyone needed.

I don't even know what the final figures for the day are. I do know that it's not the panic-inducing event those nitwit broadcasters tried to make it out to be.

OJ Might Have Lots of Company While He Searches

The highest U.N. court cleared Serbia on Monday of direct responsibility for genocide against Bosnia. Serbia argued an obscure point that the court agreed with, which means that the Srebrenica massacre, targeted entirely at Bosnian Muslims (and filling more than eighty mass graves), was technically genocide, but not really Serbia's fault even though it was commited by Serbian troops. Or something nuanced like that.

Small comfort.

Cool New DooDad

Over at QandO, I learned about this nifty little add-on for us Firefox users called CoolIris. Simple to use, when you hover over a link, a small icon appears next to it, move the cursor over the icon and a preview window appears that shows what's at the other end of that link. Move your mouse away from the window and it automatically closes again. It does much more, but that's the foundation of the app. I've found it easy to get used to, fairly customizable and unobtrusive. Check it out.

The Final Word On Tim "Homophobe" Hardaway

A side-splittingly funny smackdown delivered with style.

Thanks to Off Wing Opinion for the pointer.

Rocket content only peripherally related: One of the funniest rocket names I've ever seen was "Spock's Johnson". Straight up, it was.

Ozzie Is In The House

On Saturday we picked up our first foster rabbit. We'll be taking care of Ozzie until Bunny Lu Adoptions can find him a permanent home. He's still in the settling-in stage and rather jumpy, but so far he's eating and using his litter box normally, so it looks like it'll be ok. As you can see, Ozzie is pure white with haunting "ruby" eyes.

Rachael fell in love with Ozzie when she was home for Christmas break, and would like nothing better than for us to bond him into a group with our other two, Fred and Java.

One thing is certain, Ozzie is a lovable guy. If you hold your hand out to him, he'll put his head under your fingers so that you can scratch behind his ears. He wasn't too sure about the dogs at first, which was driving Trix crazy. Trix loves the rabbits even though they don't act like dogs, I believe that he thinks they're retarded puppies. Because Ozzie was so skittish, tonight was the first night that they've been in close contact. We expanded the pen so there was some running -around room, then Trix and I went in and lay down and waited quietly. Before long Ozzie came up to us to check things out, and he and Trix sniffed each other a bit. Trix mostly stayed on his belly, dragging himself around by his front legs so that he was on the same level as Ozzie. I've never seen anything like it. Within an hour Trix and Ozzie were laying side by side on the floor, just chillin'.

So far, this foster bunny thing is working a-ok.

I'm Kinda Proud Of My County

Unlike some of our neighboring counties, Prince William County, Virginia has decided that they want to be unfriendly towards illegal aliens. And how would they go about it?

The idea is for officers at the county's Adult Detention Center to become trained as ICE, (immigration and customs enforcement) officers, which would allow them to deport dangerous criminals who are also illegal aliens.

I like. The deportation proceedings begin after the sentence is served.

Meanwhile:

The Prince William Board of County Supervisors has asked county staff to complete the study by Jan 16. The county, where about 20 percent of residents are foreign-born, is one of several local governments grappling with a wave of new residents, many of them illegal immigrants. Supervisors said the problem is driving up costs for schools, health care, law enforcement and social services.

The study has been completed and the Supervisors are expected to sign a detailed invoice tomorrow, after which they'll send it to the federal government.

"I really think they should pay, but it is more symbolic," [Supervisor] Covington said.

The study will include the impact on the police department and jail and court system. Supervisor Maureen S. Caddigan requested that the county's hospitals and health clinics also be reviewed.

Additional education costs are not part of the study. So far, even the Hispanic organizations are supporting this effort because of the lack of detailed analysis on the impact of illegal aliens on local economies.

Pole Dancing Craze Sweeps China, Rocket Jones Blamed

Well, not blamed actually, but the possibility* is there.

So China has discovered pole dancing. I'd like to welcome any and all Chinese visitors looking for pole dancing music. In fact, while you're here, I'd like to correct one misconception you seem to have about the west.

Celebrities such as Britney Spears and Paris Hilton are said to be followers of this trend.

The above statement outrageously overstates America's give-a-shit factor when it comes to those two (it's measured in mille-fuckits). Don't pole dance because nitwits like that do it. Pole dance for yourselves, pole dance for your boyfriends and husbands. Pole dance for world peace. Oh look, another one of those "possibilities".

*About as much possibility as me being elected Pope.

SciFi Books Meme

Found over at Texas Best Grok.

This is a list of the 50 most significant science fiction/fantasy novels, 1953-2002, according to the Science Fiction Book Club.

Bold the ones you've read, strike-out the ones you hated, italicize those you started but never finished and put an asterisk beside the ones you loved.

The Lord of the Rings, J.R.R. Tolkien
The Foundation Trilogy, Isaac Asimov
Dune, Frank Herbert
Stranger in a Strange Land, Robert A. Heinlein
A Wizard of Earthsea, Ursula K. Le Guin
Neuromancer, William Gibson (this is on my 'get to someday' list)
Childhood's End, Arthur C. Clarke
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, Philip K. Dick
The Mists of Avalon, Marion Zimmer Bradley
Fahrenheit 451, Ray Bradbury
The Book of the New Sun, Gene Wolfe
A Canticle for Leibowitz, Walter M. Miller, Jr.
The Caves of Steel, Isaac Asimov
Children of the Atom, Wilmar Shiras
Cities in Flight, James Blish
The Colour of Magic, Terry Pratchett
Dangerous Visions, edited by Harlan Ellison
Deathbird Stories, Harlan Ellison
The Demolished Man, Alfred Bester
Dhalgren, Samuel R. Delany
Dragonflight, Anne McCaffrey
Ender's Game, Orson Scott Card
The First Chronicles of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever, Stephen R. Donaldson
The Forever War, Joe Haldeman
Gateway, Frederik Pohl
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, J.K. Rowling
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
I Am Legend, Richard Matheson
Interview with the Vampire, Anne Rice
The Left Hand of Darkness, Ursula K. Le Guin
Little, Big, John Crowley
Lord of Light, Roger Zelazny
The Man in the High Castle, Philip K. Dick
Mission of Gravity, Hal Clement
More Than Human, Theodore Sturgeon
The Rediscovery of Man, Cordwainer Smith
On the Beach, Nevil Shute
Rendezvous with Rama, Arthur C. Clarke
Ringworld, Larry Niven
Rogue Moon, Algis Budrys
The Silmarillion, J.R.R. Tolkien
Slaughterhouse-5, Kurt Vonnegut
Snow Crash, Neal Stephenson
Stand on Zanzibar, John Brunner
The Stars My Destination, Alfred Bester
Starship Troopers, Robert A. Heinlein
Stormbringer, Michael Moorcock
The Sword of Shannara, Terry Brooks
Timescape, Gregory Benford
To Your Scattered Bodies Go, Philip Jose Farmer

You'll notice no "love" asterisks nor "hate" strikethroughs, mainly because people's tastes vary so much. I'm not a big fan of fantasy, and yet I've read most of them on the list. I also own almost every bolded title on the list. I discovered SciFi early and read everything I could get my hands on.

I don't care for Anne Rice (except for "Ramses the Damned"), and I've never read a Harry Potter book. I love Farmer and Zelazny and have read "Gateway" multiple times, but my first recommendation from the list which you've probably never read is "A Canticle for Leibowitz". Powerful story.

There ya go. If you want to take it and run with it, leave a link in the comments.

A Bet Is A Bet

Somehow, I'm not surprised that this happened in a bar.

Wiese, a die-hard fan of the Chicago Bears, signed a pledge in front of a crowd at a Decatur bar last Friday night that if the Bears lost Sunday's Super Bowl, he'd change his name to that of the man who led the Indianapolis Colts to victory.

As the loser of one of these silly bets (I wound up doing laundry for five years after a "can't lose" bet with my wife), I can appreciate the confidence that he felt when he made that wager.

So Tuesday, Wiese went to the Macon County Courts Facility and started the process of changing his name.

You've kept your honor, Scott... er, Peyton.

Stupid Headline of the Day

Super Bowl Helps Nevada Sports Books Set Near-record for Wagering

How do you set a near-record? By not breaking the actual record!

Thanks AP, we're all a little stupider for reading that.

Only If You Have A Sick and Twisted Sense of Humor

I love it!

Thanks to Dogette for pointing this one out.

They Obviously Know How To Better Spend My Money, Except That They Obviously Don't

Susie just experienced a practical demonstration of what happens when you increase the minimum wage.

In order to be able to afford the increased payroll without raising ticket prices (which negatively impacts business), the company has cut hours by instituting only one show on weeknights--theaters which had been playing movies at 5 and 8 are now only showing 7pm sets. So, a concessions clerk who worked from 4:30 to 9 on a weeknight at $5.15 an hour is now working from 6:30 to 8 for $6.85 an hour. Their day's wages have gone from $23 to $10.25. Let's say they still work 4 and a half hours on Saturday and so earn $31 for that day instead of the $23 they previously would have made. They are still making $5.00 less now than they would have without the wage increase.

Meanwhile, politicians who back raising the minimum wage pat themselves on the back and congratulate each other about what caring people they are, which is the biggest lie of all. Not all of them are stupid, they full well understand what will happen when you artificially increase expenses. They don't care. They don't care about the effects, they don't care about the workers they impact. They do care about being able to point to this as an example of how they're fighting back against rich corporations. Fighting for the common man. As for the people dancing in the streets over this, because they actually believe that this is a victory? Now those people are stupid.

Ruben's Tube

Thanks to frequent commenter Russ, this most excellent link. Science is wicked cool, if you're doing it right.

Did James Brown Mention This?

He was a Godfather, not a President, but still...

Hussein had problems with Bush Iraq policy.

Thanks to Brian J. for the scoop about yet another dead president kvetching from beyond the grave.

Rad Decision

Rad Decision, an online story.

A techno-thriller about a looming disaster at a nuclear power plant, written by an engineer with over twenty years of experience in the American nuclear industry.

So far, the reviews are glowing*.

*No, I'm not going to apologize for that. Neener, neener.

OMG WTF LOL* (In Two-Ply Harmony)

This is a must-read. Trust me. You'll thank me when the shock wears off, because it's hilarious/scary/true.

We are living in A.E. VanVogt's Cyril M. Kornbluth's** universe.

*Title acronym brazenly stolen - and mangled - from Derek.

**I misremembered the author who created the character Poopy Panda.

Remiss

The title doesn't begin to cover it. I've been meaning to blogroll Ian, aka EDog, since... well, for quite a while now.

Is finally done. Go say hi.

Whine All You Want About Wal-Mart

But I'll shop there any day over Target. Here's one reason why: Target sells "trendy" Che Guevara logo merchandise.

Remember, Che had a direct hand in the murder of children by firing squad in Cuba.

Thanks to Transterrestrial Musings for the pointer.

How Do I Hate Thee, Let Me Count The Ways

In Washington D.C., everything that Redskins owner Dan Snyder touches turns to crap. Besides the neighborhoods surrounding his new football stadium, where residents were getting tickets for parking in front of their own homes during football games (possibly reducing Dan's parking revenues), he is also the first (and only, as far as I know) owner to charge admission for loyal fans who travel long distances to attend Redskins training camp practices. Dan Snyder has proven himself to be a self-centered, money-hungry jerk with all the delicacy of a hammer and anvil.

His latest effort in anti-community relations revolves around his radio "network". He's purchased three stations in the area in order to broadcast his team's games, but that wasn't enough. He is now in final negotiations to buy the last remaining classical music station in the region, and has already announced plans to switch to all-talk sports and, you guessed it, Washington Redskins football games.

At his funeral, I hope they play His new theme song should be the Blue Damn You Waltz.

Fine, so I'll order from the "dollar fifty" menu

This AP article has me seeing red. Here's the opening:

When hordes of police and immigration officials stormed meatpacking plants in six states this week, the illegal workers arrested may not have been the only victims.

Victims? Illegal workers arrested for breaking US law are not victims because they got caught!

Who are the other victims? Why, you and me of course, because we may have to pay more for meat because all of those other victims (you know, the ILLEGAL aliens) got busted by big, bad Uncle Sam.

The meatpacking industry has become dependent on an unauthorized labor force, and it is not good government to destroy an entire industry.

Lets parse that out. "The meatpacking industry has become dependent on an unauthorized labor force...". Sounds to me like the meatpacking industry needs some civic lessons on being a good corporate citizen.

"...it is not good government to destroy an entire industry." I agree with this completely. Just ask tobacco what they think. However, when you put those two statements together like some kind of hybrid rationale, the entire argument is bullshit.

According to the article, union membership is down and wages are way down since the meatpacking industry moved out of the northeast and into the plains states. The reason behind the move is clear and undisputed. There is a larger, cheaper labor pool (translation: illegal aliens) in the midwest.

Personally, if my meat prices go up because criminals are no longer involved in the supply chain, well, that's ok with me. That includes those criminals who knowingly hire illegal aliens to cut costs and boost profits. If you need a touchy-feely aspect, think about the meatpackers who lost their jobs when the plants relocated. This is outsourcing an industry without even leaving our own porous borders.

And don't ever, Ever, EVER try to tell me that those busted illegal aliens are victims.

Yuck!

Surfing in Cleveland?

It sounds worse than I could imagine:

To reach the lake, surfers drag their boards across snow drifts and beaches littered with used condoms and syringes, Ditzenberger said. The most popular surf spot is Edgewater State Park. It is nicknamed Sewer Pipe because, after heavy rains, a nearby sewage treatment plant regularly discharges untreated waste into Lake Erie.

As if that's not bad enough, I keep picturing Drew Carey in a speedo.

Holiday Advice With A Medical Slant

Princess Cat offers up some dead-on holiday eating tips. For instance:

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

What really made me laugh was the closing quote, because I just happened to get an email on a similar subject with the same quote at the end. So for your educational enrichment, I present:

HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO . Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And the closing quote:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming : Woo Hoo, what a ride!"

A.Men.

Get Your Hockey Fix

Hockey Live, games via streaming video courtesy of Comcast.

According to Off Wing Opinion, this service is now available to everyone. Here's the entire schedule, and although it's heavily weighted towards northeast teams, there are still some very good matchups coming up.

Friday Feathers

Over at Dusting My Brain, Cindy has been posting a series of photographs she's taken of birds. Beautiful work, and you should go check it out.

Traditional Holiday Fare

In the classic Rocket Jones style, babes dressed (more or less) in Christmassy clothing.

Not safe for work. Ho Ho Ho.

Ready... Aim...

List of weapons that don't exist, but should.

Ninja sheep, the Radioactive Zombie Badger Launcher, and the so-deadly-the-UN-will-shit Landmine that shoots Grenades filled with Nunchucks with Shuriken tips. Plus more. Much, much more.

Drawings

The semester is almost over and today I had my final critique for my drawing class, therefore I have all my drawings back and have uploaded them. Take a look if you want and leave a comment.

Drawings

The Sweetest Thanksgiving Leftover Ever

WKRP.

If you know what's coming, you're welcome. If not, put down the beverage.

Thanks to Off Wing Opinion for this one.

Awesome

US Navy Ceremonial Guard Drill Team (YouTube video).

Thanks to Murdoc for this wonderful pointer.

Almost Famous

Last week I was informed that Rocket Jones was a Googlewhack. I checked for myself, and sure enough, by typing two common words into Google this site was the only result returned. Pretty cool, until I noticed that one of the two words was misspelled.

Dang. So close.

A Reminder

Red Skelton's classic reading of the Pledge of Allegiance.

Absolutely Horrifying, Yet Somewhow I'm not Surprised

Where to start...

Rich, who has been pointing out the inexorable subjugation of the human race to our future mechanical overlords, links to a story about a new robot.

..."an electromechanical sommelier", capable of identifying wines, cheeses, meats and hors d'oeuvres.

Then, of course, there's this:

But when some smart aleck reporter placed his hand in the robot's omnivorous clanking jaw, he was identified as bacon. A cameraman then tried and was identified as prosciutto.

Too nicely, maybe...

(as always, special thanks to Webster Colcord for permission to use his graphics)

Twofer

The title made sense when I started writing this. Now, not so much.

Michele posted a link to this nice little Jethro Tull piece done by Ian Anderson and an orchestra.

While you're there, check out an oldie but goodie, Bouree.

Or enjoy this version.

Heck, you should just do a search there on Jethro Tull and spend an hour enjoying the music. Be prepared to be amazed at the variety of styles that Tull plays to keep their songs from getting stale.

It just dawned on me while watching this video, they sound a bit like Blue on his CD's (which I also highly recommend - scroll down on that link).

Endangered Species

The company that makes those plastic pink flamingoes is shutting down, due to rising energy prices and the cost of resin.

Thanks to Dogette for the pointer.

I had to post this

A lot of guys in hobby rocketry volunteer their time doing educational outreach things like talking to students or putting on demonstration launches. Doug Pratt blogs about a recent Q&A he had with some students. You should go read the whole thing (it's short), but I'll give you this much. After explaining that no, he doesn't work for NASA, one of the kids asked Doug how he knew so much about it. Here's his reply:

“I’m not a scientist or an engineer. I know a lot about this stuff because I love it. That’s all you need.”

Amen.

Hockey Recap

An awesome resource for hockey fans, it's like having an entire sports page dedicated entirely to NHL Hockey and delivered to your email inbox every day.

Thanks to Off Wing Opinion for pointing this one out.

My Music Video - Suicide Chump

My Video is on google videos! Woo. Let me know what you think about it.

The people in it are my friends: Molly, Shannen, Diedre, Renee, and Shae.

It's all in the name

From Dustbury:

And if you thought HD in radio meant the same thing as HD in television, think again:
"Quite honestly, it doesn't stand for anything," said Peter Ferrera, president and CEO of the HD Digital Radio Alliance. "The concept was somewhat of a steal from HD television, where viewers know it means better quality."

Now this is the bees knees

1920's Slang Dictionary.

Thanks to the gang over at Babble-on.

Shattered Delusions

You've all seen the "face" on Mars. You may have heard about the recent debunking, where higher resolution photographs showed that it was, indeed, a natural physical feature. You probably didn't hear about the barking mad conspiracy theorists who're convinced that NASA is satan and they want to hide the evidence of extraterrestrial life (ignoring the fact that finding ET would mean a huge expansion of space exploration funding).

So, here's a nifty 3D animation from ESA (European Space Agency) showing the "face" and what it really looks like from various angles.

Thanks to Transterrestrial Musings for the pointer.

It's an odd place, but everybody respects him there

Unlike here. The title refers, of course, to whatever universe Tom Cruise is living in.

Tom Cruise has filed a $50-million lawsuit against Holesome Fun Incorporated, the world's largest manufacturer of sex toys, over the company's alleged unauthorized use of his image on its new Mission Insertable butt plug.

No, really!

That's the difference between "stars" and us little people. Me, I'd be rather honored to think that people would pay money to stuff my likeness up their ol' wazoo. I'd hope to be smart enough not to raise a big fuss too, thereby opening myself up to reporting like this:

Mr. Cruise is also demanding "the immediate and complete withdrawal" of the Mission Insertable butt plug...

Immediate? Selfish bastard, at least wait until I'm finished.

(almost forgot, found this thanks to the crew over at Babble-on).

Brilliant

Yeah, that word is used too often, but in this case it correctly applies.

Check out this video.

Thanks to Ian for the pointer.

That's going to leave a mark

Funny and oh, so true.

President Bush said that if illegal immigrants want citizenship they'd have to do three things: pay taxes, hold meaningful jobs, and learn English. Bush doesn't meet those qualifications. -- PJ O'Rourke

Read the rest at Q&O, neither party is spared.

Funny Stuff I've been meaning to link to

Unobtrusive, yet not quite grasping the concept.

Getting into a hockey goalie's head. Here's a snippet:

I sat in 101, Row D, seat 11...right next to the [Carolina Hurricanes] Canes entry, behind their bench.

1st period: Semin unloads a wicked slapshot that Ward can't handle. End of the 1st period, as the Canes come off the ice, I tell Ward, "Semin's gonna light you up in the 2nd."

2nd period: Semin scores again. Ward comes off the ice. "I told you what was going to happen..."

Read the rest, it's priceless.

Meanwhile, over at the Parkway Rest Stop, Jim has been reading Hillary Clinton's letter to Nancy Pelosi:

Right off the bat, I’m going to appoint Barbara Walters as the White House Chief of Staff. Can you imagine anything funnier than hearing her say, “Madam Pwesident” and “Madam Vice-Pwesident” every day? ROTFLMAO!

I'll second that. ROTFLMAO!

Commodore Mookie's Catch of the Day

Origami Underground (Not really Work Safe), as a friend said "funny, yes, but I'm midly horrified".

Boo

Here's a nifty list of haunted places, arranged by state and locale.

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh man, I needed this.

Since I don't have time to post...

I can at least link to something.

The Misadventures of Hello Cthulu.

Thanks to Random Nuclear Strikes for the pointer.

Into the Wayback Machine

Ken Brashear's virtual drum kit.

Commodore Mookie's Catch of the Day

Whoa!

Talk about cool stuff right there.
I'm too lazy to actually write much more then this at the moment, so have fun. I'm gonna go burn my eyes out by playing with the link some more.

Quote of the Day: Law Enforcement Edition

The suspect shot and killed a deputy, shot and killed a police dog, and shot and wounded another deputy before being surrounded by 10 SWAT officers. Then he raised a gun...

"I suspect the only reason 110 rounds was all that was fired was that's all the ammunition they had," [Polk County Sheriff Grady] Judd said. "We were not going to take any chance of him shooting back."

Burn in hell you swiss-cheesed cop killer.

Cool (to me)

If you're in Hudson, Wisconsin, be sure to stop by the Phipps Center for the Arts.

Beautiful and Addicting

From annika, the Falling Sand Game.

Old friends with new information

That's "old friend" as in, I've known Taz for a long time, not that Taz is old.

Looking at a new cell phone? This lady knows her stuff, and gives a thorough review of the LG Chocolate, the hottest thing on the market since the Razor's debut.

She also does a quickie comparison of several recently released cell phone models.

National Statuary Hall Collection

Check this out.

The National Statuary Hall Collection in the United States Capitol is comprised of statues donated by individual states to honor persons notable in their history. The entire collection now consists of 100 statues contributed by 50 states. All fifty states have contributed two statues each.

Follow this link for a list of the pieces in the collection. The list has links for each person, giving their place in history and often some interesting details about the statue itself and the artists who did the work. For instance, Kamehameha I of Hawaii:

Gould was commissioned to create a statue of Kamehameha by the legislature of the Kingdom of Hawai'i and modeled the figure at his studio in Rome in 1879. It was cast in bronze at a Paris foundry in 1880 but was lost in a shipwreck on its way to Hawai'i. A second statue was cast from the same model and arrived safely; it was unveiled by Hawai'i's last king, Kalakaua, in 1883 in front of the Judiciary Building in Honolulu, where it still remains. The first statue was subsequently recovered and brought to Hawai'i; in 1912 it was placed at Kohala Court House in Kapa'au on the Island of Hawai'i, in Kamehameha's home district.

The statue in the Capitol was made from molds taken of the Honolulu statue.

Muse Strikes

It seems that once again, I have been inspired by one of the lovely ladies of the blogosphere. Yet truth be told gentlemen, when are we not?

Hmmm... reread that last. Apparently Velociman has his hand in the ol' inspirational link as well.

Back on point:

The friars made extra money for the monestary by growing beautiful flowers to sell.

They also grew man-eating plants to protect their gardens.

One day, some village children strayed too close to the gardens and were eaten by the man-eating plants. The outraged villagers confronted the friars and demanded that the man-eating plants be destroyed. The friars refused.

The villagers went and got Hugh. Now Hugh was the village blacksmith, and the biggest and strongest man in the village.

Hugh went to the monestary, destroyed the man-eating plants and chased the friars out of town.

Moral of the story: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

Look at all the cute bunny rabbits

If there was any question as to whether Rachael was truly my child, this link should dispell all doubts. Bunnies committing suicide.

What makes it even better is that she sent that link to her mom, who passed it on to me. There are a lot of 'em, go check it out.

Update: Mad William Flint offers up the Amazon link to the first bunny suicide book.

Another ebook resource

Elegant Solutions Software and Publishing Company (ESSPC) has a fine collection of free ebooks available for downloading to your PDA.

This week's feature on their main page is Inaugural Addresses Of The Presidents Of The United States From George Washington To George W. Bush.

January 20, 2005. George W. Bush has just delivered his second inaugural address to the nation and the world. As soon as it was made available we captured it and included it in this book. Here in one volume are the inaugural address of the presidents of the United States. Presented in chronological order they are a living reminder of those men who have lead this nation in times of peace and war. In times of prosperity and want. In good times and bad. Their words reflect the spirit of the nation over the past two centuries and the beginnings of the third. This is a reissue on January 20, 2001, Inauguration Day, with the inclusion of the second Inaugural Address of George Walker Bush.

They also offer every ebook in their collection (over 500 titles) on one CD-ROM for $7.95 (that's to cover shipping and handling). That's a heckuva deal.

In the non-fiction section, I found lots of Dickens, Kipling, H.G. Wells, Verne and Edgar Rice Burroughs plus much more. I haven't finished exploring all they have to offer, but so far, so great!

Update: Wow, this keeps getting better and better! In the history section I found The Federalist Papers and the personal memiors of Generals Grant and Sheridan.

Some things that are...

...just plain wrong.

*gulp*

I'm going to show just the last line of this link-filled post over at Jawa Report, about a massive supernova detected in February. Go. Read.

...had GRB 060218 happened in our galaxy, life on Earth would have ended Feb. 18.

Yup

It is claimed that Westerners do not respect nor understand Islam.

Right back at'cha, assholes.

Thanks to Triticale for the pointer.

Yay!

Happy Birthday Pixy Misa!

Thank you for everything you do for us Munuvians.

Beauty

A co-worker recently returned from an Alaskan vacation and has posted his photos online (ignore the sign-in). He's a much better photographer than I, and the scenery is spectacular!

In a similar vein, Chris Hall did one of his motorcycle excursions, this time to the Gila National Forest in New Mexico. This is rugged, beautiful terrain, and Chris shares a lot of great pictures of his trip.

He does the same thing with a trip through the Santa Fe National Forest.

You might not care, but now you know

The US Department of State offers RSS feeds, podcasts and listservs you can sign up for.

"Nobody puts Baby in a corner!"

The irrepressible Dogette muses upon the cult classic Dirty Dancing (full disclosure: I didn't see it in the theater, but I own copies on VHS *and* DVD). Specifically, she wonders about how useful it would be in various movie situations it would be to throw out that infamous Swayze line in the title above.

Being somewhat irrepressible myself (in that annoying, get-the-hell-away-from-me sense, not the cute and lovable hijinx-pulling sense), I decided to run with the idea.

What would HBO's Deadwood be like if we inserted that line?

Seth: Any more gunplay gets answered. You call the law in Sampson, you don't get to call it off just cause you're liquored up and popular on payday.

Patrick: Nobody puts Baby on a shelf!

Hmmm... not bad. Let's try another one.

Al: God rest the souls of that poor family... and pussy's half price for the next 15 minutes.

Patrick: Nobody puts Baby on a shelf!

Somehow I just don't see the piano player in the saloon breaking out Righteous Brothers tunes.

Let's move on to the video game genre. How about Grand Theft Auto?

Snake: Yo, homes. I'm gonna bust a cap all over your ass.

Patrick: Nobody puts Baby on a shelf!

Nope. That doesn't work either. I think Dogette is on to something here. Just what is open to interpretation, but I've managed to wring a post out of it, so I'm satisfied.

Digging through the attic

Here's an animated US history lesson that I linked to back in September of 2003. It's still cool.

More about the Hobbit House

Late last year I mentioned that my best friend owned a resort bar in the Philippines called The Hobbit House. The place is staffed by midgets.

A co-worker pointed me towards a blog entry that talks about the former manager of The Hobbit House. Perry Berry is a man short in stature, but giant in spirit.

Out of Context Scare Quote of the day Yesterday

A type of root rot is infecting Christmas Tree farms in the mid-Atlantic, the same one that has been plauging American Chestnut trees.

According to the story, the culprit is a mold that affects over 900 species of plant life around the world.

Interesting story, right up until the end, where they close with this quote:

"It is a case of mankind unwittingly changing his environment for the worse."

That was said by one of the tree farmers who is dealing with the mold. Did man spread this mold by transplanting trees? It *is* described as "world wide". Or did man somehow create the mold? There's no way to tell from the story because there is nothing to indicate that this problem is anything other than mother nature being herself. It's always safe to blame mankind though.

Exhibit 13

Have you seen the Blue Man Group's short film about 9/11?

Are you afraid of clowns?

Here's one reason why you should be.

Bobo drank the tears of children.

Short. Sweet.

Pretty Pictures

Via Elisson, this wicked time-lapse photograph of Toronto, taken at two hour intervals. Scroll down and check out the flash version to see each shot in its entirety. Sam the photographer even created a wallpaper sized version for you to enjoy.

It's familiar

Since life has been bouncing up and down lately for us, this page o' bouncy boob icons just seems like the right thing to link to.

Thanks to Loup over at Babble-on for the pointer.

Going around once more

See that "2996" over on the left? That's a link to a tribute to everyone who died on 9/11, and leads to a page where each individual was assigned to a volunteer blogger who will post a memorial to that person on the fifth anniversary of that sad day.

Every. Single. One.

The goal has been reached (thanks to everyone who's signed up), and they've started around again so if you haven't volunteered yet, you still can.

Wanted: Founding Fathers

This is so cool.

Colony: Alchibah.

From the FAQ:

In the middle of the 21st century, a ship of dissidents seeking freedom from the oppressive world government of Earth land on a planet circling the star Alchibah. There, these colonists begin a new life, a new world, a place where the limited government is subordinate to the citizens. First they had to create that government and the documents that would constrain it. Actually, first they had to escape Earth! As in any sci-fi story, there are plenty of other problems as well...

I highly recommend reading through the FAQ before exploring the rest of the site, because this isn't simply a story to read. For the right kinds of people, with imagination and passion, you can become characters in the story and affect events. Beneath the veneer of SciFi fiction, this is actually a nicely conceived simulation of building a government from scratch. You can argue your points and sway opinions of other colonists as you all work together (or work against each other) to create a future.

Jeff Soyer, proprietor of Alphecca, is the mind behind this stunning concept. I'll be following their progress, and enjoying every step of the journey.

Thanks for the memories

Jerry Rice signed a one-day contract with the San Francisco 49'ers so that he could officially retire with the team.

Twenty years, most every receiving record in the books, and the man did it with style and class.

A lot of athletes should learn that lesson.

I shoulda mentioned

Links to the Silent Universe and Second Shift podcasts are now on my sidebar.

Commodore Mookie's Catch of the Day

I always find that the hardest thing about making a web page is finding/making/picking a back ground that will satisfy several criteria. The criteria include (A) that it not suck, (B) that is is fairly unobtrusive and not eye watering ugly, and (C) that to take into account the variety of monitor display settings it should either tile well or have a solid back ground color [note, these are just my personal rules of thumbs). This nifty little website allows you to make tile-able back grounds quickly and easily... and I like to play with it even if I don't need a new background.

I also have an appreciation for well done drawings and paintings that have a bit of humor in them of some sort. I don't usually go for the more traditional "Art" stuff. This website has some interesting pictures that defiantly make me giggle and is worth checking out. Hm... I wonder if my roommate would like them... we need to decorate our dorm room...

Commodore Mookie's Catch of the Day

I've always had permission to Post on Rocket Jones, but Dad just gave me the official word "Go"; so of course the spelling and grammar quality of this site just went down the crapper, but that’s no matter.

Almost every day I send Dad links to random sites I find online via a firefox extension called StumbleUpon, yet dad rarely has time/remembers to link to them, so now I'll do it. The best description of StumbleUpon came from this site where they say "[StumbleUpon] is a software implementation of Attention Deficit Disorder" and how true it is. I do actually waste hours upon hours each day (when I have internet) stumbling around to amuse myself.

So the first weird link of the day will be an optical illusion that’s really quite freaky, but entertaining. And then there is a website that shows you how to harvest stools. Finally, here's a place with some T-shirts called Cute Dead Things... I really want the Skull one, it so cute! and dead!

When you outlaw midgets with guns, only... wait, that doesn't work.

Check out this little beauty:

click the picture for Dirty Harry size

Even better, it's fully functional.

This firearm is a scaled-down model of the much acclaimed and mystical Colt Python with all the same features as are found on the real size gun.

They advertise it as "the smallest revolver and ammunition in the world."

Thanks to Rodger for the pointer.

A Bone Through My Nose

Not as in "decorative", as in "I was eating a piece of chicken when I read something so funny I snorted food."

Oh, how I wish I were drinking a glass of milk at the time.

No matter. Put down the fork and glass and go read this.

You've been warned.

"42" has become such a cliche

It is also *not* the answer to any of the "25 Most Important Questions in the History of the Universe".

Thanks to Wizbang! for the pointer.

Retro Redux

I briefly mentioned it a couple of days ago, and I'm pleased to announce that I have 8-bit nostalgia up and running.

M.U.L.E., Blue Max, Encounter, various Infocom text adventures and early Electronic Arts offerings, bringing back memories of my earliest days of home computing.

I haven't gotten the configuration exactly right, because the emulator won't read the virtual cassette drive yet, and there are a couple of early war games I hope to resurrect that were only available on tape. More tinkering to do.

If you don't see the attraction, then you have no soul. It's that simple.

Oh, and for those asking, I've been playing with two emulators: Atari800 and Atari800Win Plus. Win Plus has been easier to work with, but doesn't offer the flexibility that Atari800 does. I may very well end up using both for different situations.

Retro

Dustbury notes an odd little item:

...the C64 Orchestra is a real live band that, for the moment anyway, plays music from Commodore 64 games.

If you feel so inclined, follow that link for details and more links.

It especially caught my eye because I've been toying with a couple of Atari 800 emulators, with the aim of being able to play some of my favorite 8-bit games of old on today's Windows PC. I've even found a couple of emulators designed to run under WinCE for my PDA.

Feel free to google 'em up. There are plenty of open source emulators out there (Intellivision anyone?), and I see no need to open your wallet.

To be (stupid), or not to be (stupid)

The original article is titled "101 ways to massacre Shakespeare".

The Edinburgh Fringe richly deserves its reputation for artistic anarchy and every year The Bard is the target of bizarre adaptations at the world's largest arts festival.

The festival director's all-time favorite? A Midsummer's Night Disco. The bard done on roller skates. Boy howdy.

As The Fringe celebrates its 60th birthday, the prize for zaniest 2006 production goes to Hamlet set in a bouncy castle.

To see the Prince of Denmark in laddered tights bounding around declaiming "To Be or Not To Be" is a truly surreal experience.

Surreal is one word to describe it, but not the first that comes to mind.

One never knows where inspiration will come:

Seward had his eureka moment when attending a children's birthday party in Argentina. "I saw the children playing on a bouncy castle and that is when the idea came to me.

One never knows when the meds wear off.

Other interpretations seen over the years include:

"Macbeth -- That Old Black Magic" boasts a Frank Sinatra soundtrack and you can see "The Tempest" with acrobats, puppets and circus tricks.

In "Corleone: The Godfather," the American High School Theater Festival troupe asks "What if Shakespeare had written the Godfather?"

Alas, poor yorick, I must go make sick. I'd still love to go.

Happy Birthday

The Smithsonian is 160 years old today.

Twofer

A disturbing, albeit very funny video, courtesy of Curmudgeonly and Skeptical.

I may have to send these to several blog buddies as Christmas presents (anonymously of course).

Thanks to Minister Buckethead for the link to "those".

Threefer

I stumbled across this while looking for something else (not safe for work).

Mookie sent this link since it reminded her of the infamous Barbies in Bondage post.

From Dick's Rocket Dungeon, a link to a week's worth of pictures from the National Association of Rocketry's Annual Meet (NARAM).

Wow. Zombies, bondage, and rockets all in one post. If Rocket Jones had a nutrition pyramid this would be like a balanced meal.

Physician, Heal Thyself

Whatever the editorial equivalent of that is, it really needs doing.

I've been following with some interest the Reuters photography story (lots of links here). If you're unfamiliar with it, read the box.

The Reuters news agency has fired freelance photographer Adnan Hajj for photoshopping photographs. The first conclusive example had dark smoke added to a scene overlooking Beirut. At this point Reuters suspended Hajj. When a second photograph was discovered of an aircraft with additional "missiles" and bombs copy-and-pasted in, they fired him and pulled from their database almost 1,000 pictures that he'd provided them over the course of ten years. Since then, additional photographs have been discovered where he would submit the same scene, shot from different perspectives, as evidence of overnight airstrike damage dated weeks apart. Some of these photos feature the exact same people in them.

From the story:

"It's hard to imagine how someone sitting in an air-conditioned office or broadcast studio many thousands of miles from the scene can decide what occurred on the ground with any degree of accuracy," said Kathleen Carroll, AP's senior vice president and executive editor.

Which is exactly the criticism that many people have with the news coverage in the middle east. The reporters sit safely inside their "Green Zone" hotels and have paid local stringers bring them the news. They're not covering the stories, they merely collate what is delivered to them before passing it along as fact.

Yet when the public makes this argument, it's disregarded by the media because they're "professionals". There have been a lot of arrogant bastards over the years working to turn journalism into a cult, and if you're not in the cult then you cannot criticize. The sad thing is, they've largely succeeded.

Senior editor Carroll then goes on with this:

Photographers are experienced in recognizing when someone is trying to stage something for their benefit, she said.

So, in other words, they see it often enough to know it when it happens. And maybe, like in Hajj's case, they're ok with staging the scene because it fits their agenda. Good thing the news agencies have layers of professional editorial staffing to keep this from happening... but, aren't all the editors "sitting in an air-conditioned office or broadcast studio many thousands of miles from the scene"? I thought that made it difficult or impossible to "decide what occurred on the ground with any degree of accuracy".

Then we get this "professional" opinion:

"Do you really think these people would risk their lives under Israeli shelling to set up a digging ceremony for dead Lebanese kids?" asked Patrick Baz, Mideast photo director for AFP.

More and more, I believe that the weather forecast is the most accurate part of any news program.

Silent Thunder

The company that is acting as general contractor for our kitchen remodeling project is also doing this memorial.

Mark Tuesday, September 19th on your calendaaars

That be Talk Like A Pirate Day, me hearties.

And for those blogging that day, there be this.

Sounds dirty, but it ain't

MyKnobs.com.

I've been spending some time at that site. One of the things that's been taking up major chunks of life lately is that we're having our kitchen, dining room and adjacent bathroom remodelled. Final plans are due next week and then I'll have a few weeks to get "our" portion of tasks done before construction begins. Yes, construction. There will be walls removed and things rearranged. We've been planning this for years in our mind, and now we've finally taken the plunge.

I told everyone we've sat down with the same thing: We're not doing this to sell the place, because if we were then I'd go cheap. The budget's not unlimited, but we're not going bottom-of-the-line either, because this is for *us*.

We've already picked flooring and carpet. Cabinets and countertops have been selected. All new appliances have been chosen and are being held until needed, and we sat down last night and picked the exact colors for paint (we've collected literally hundreds of paint cards and chips).

This is going to be a huge mess. The end result is going to be beautiful.

You can find anything on the internet

As if that's news to anyone with more imagination than an amoeba.

For instance, The Steely Dan Dictionary.

The creative genii behind Steely Dan (Walter Becker and Donald Fagen) have long been fond of peppering their lyrics with arcane literary and cultural references, the meaning of which can be murky at best (given the duo's legendary reticence). After searching in vain for an explanatory lexicon, I decided to create my own.

I found that via a link from Tuning, which is infrequently updated but always interesting.

And the link for that came from Owlish, who is no longer posting. I miss him. who (holy crap!) just started posting again. Yay!

I would've known that if trackbacks were working, but Mu.Nu has shut them off for good until we migrate to Minx. Lousy spammers. Which makes me wonder how everyone is doing in TTLB's ecosystem. I haven't looked at it in months, but one of the measurements is trackbacks, so I wonder what kind of hit Munuvians are taking.

Short Rocket Video

I have one of these motors, and 3 reload kits to fit.

*grinning like an idiot*

Note: The audio part of that clip, using the limited microphone of the video camera, doesn't come close to capturing the deep, bone-rattling roar of that beast when it ignites.

Forget, Hell

I'm a linking fool. I share all kinds of odd stuff found in the dusty corners of the internet. Once in a while though, I do offer up something more substantial, such as this:

2996 is a project organized by D.C. Roe, to have 2996 bloggers (!) all posting a tribute to a 9/11 victim (names are assigned) on September 11, 2006–the five-year anniversary. Right now there are 1187 blogs signed up, and there’s just over a month to go.

Bumper Sticker

Today while sitting in oh-sooooo-slow Friday traffic, I saw a bumper sticker on a pickup truck:

Weaponeer.net

More Weapons = More Fun

Our next shoot in Minong Wisconsin will be Aug 19th, at the Minong Range.
Machine guns, semi-autos, assault rifles, pistols, shotguns, mortars, and cannons.
Tannerite is allowed... Tracer and Incind. ammunition will depend on the weather.

Bunny blogging, of a sort

Vorpal?

Bless their twisted little souls

I've written about Sims torture before, but I didn't know that there was a LiveJournal community devoted to it (I'd link to it, but LiveJournal is screwy about handling community links).

Google is your friend accomplice.

Obviously, they were asking for it

Isn't that what they used to say about rape victims?

From Alphecca, I see that muggings and related robberies in the UK are up at least 8 percent this year (and one study says the increase is as much as 22%).

Rotten criminals, eh?

The newspaper headlines say "Rise in crime blamed on iPods".

Remember, there are no bad people. Just people who do bad things. Can't be blaming crime on the folks who commit crime, it must be those darn victims, just begging to be robbed. I can see it now: crowds of people, waving their arms and shouting "Me! Me!!! Rob me!", jumping up and down as they try to be noticed. And those poor put-upon muggers... having to wrestle with that temptation every day. It's inhumane, I tell you.

And it's all our fault. When a society invents iPods, it deserves whatever comes to it. Or so some people want you to think.

Baseball Race

Wicked cool online toy for baseball fans.

Thanks to Off Wing Opinion for the pointer.

I can see clearly now...

Seen over at Random Nuclear Strikes:

Since 2001, they’ve been screaming ["they" means enviromentalists - RJ] that President Bush is “rolling back the Clean Air Act,� and that the resulting increase in air pollution will kill people by the thousands. Instead, every category of air pollution has fallen during the Bush years, with 2003, 2004, and 2005 showing the lowest levels of harmful ozone and particulates in the air since the monitoring of air pollution began in the 1960s.

I'm not prepared to give President Bush all the credit for this, just like I'm not willing to bash President Clinton on the subject. There's inertia in something like changing the quality of our air, and I think that we all deserve credit for being more aware of pollution and taking better care of the environment in general. Little things add up, and Americans have made a lot of little eco-friendly things a normal part of our lives. Things like changing the type of freon used in air conditioners, using non-aerosol sprays, and developing cleaner cars and fuels. Yay us!

Follow that link above for more links and details.

Silent Universe - A Review

Before television gained dominance, radio shows entertained with all types of audio theater. I still enjoy recorded shows from "the golden age of radio" like The Shadow and Inner Sanctum (hint: available on CD and cassette, or ask Victor for copies he made when they originally aired).

Nowadays, I'm loving the proliferation of podcasts. Much like blogging gave "journalism" to the masses, podcasting is doing the same for talk radio. And now podcasts are appearing which provide a return to that classic era of radio programming.

Recently I was contacted about doing a Rocket Jones review for a podcast called Silent Universe. Like the classic radio serial format, this science fiction offering features suspense and cliffhangers at the end of each episode. Even better, unlike the old days, you don't have to be glued to the radio to enjoy the shows because you can download Silent Universe to your iPod or other .mp3 player and listen at your leisure.

From the email:

The Silent Universe is a sci-fi adventure drama, with writing that has been compared to the intrigue of TV shows like "24" and "Battlestar Galactica."

"[Space opera] is now commonly used to mean a tale of space adventure whose emphasis is on boldly delineated characters, drama, and especially action."
Wikipedia

Silent Universe is set in the not-too-distant future, when humans have spread to the planets of our solar system. Society as a whole hasn't moved much beyond what it is today, in that there are still governments jostling for advantage and using diplomacy, war, and intrigue to gain the upper hand.

"There were those who thought that the dawn of the second space age would unite humanity in a common cause. Dreams of grand utopias fevered the minds of visionaries and futurists, who proclaimed that the stars would save us from ourselves. They couldn't have been more wrong." - from the intro

The story follows Emmeline Kaley, a professional mercenary who finds herself involved with a covert organization after a paying job goes horribly wrong. Things aren’t always what they seem, and allies can’t always be trusted. Through the blur of events, you occasionally get a glimpse of the truth: that someone far more powerful than you has been pulling strings and making events bend to their will.

There's a disclaimer at the start of the podcast for the mature language and themes in the episodes. Despite the humorous slant on free speech, don't let it fool you into believing that everything is one-sided. At one point in the episode, one of the characters makes an impassioned argument for letting the UN handle the situation. The show tries to stay balanced, and the characters are not marching along in idealogical lockstep.

There are a couple of interesting facets to this podcast. First of all, you can download the mono version for free, or you can pay a couple of bucks for the CD-quality stereo version. You can also subscribe to either version and get each episode as it comes out.

Full Disclosure: I was given a reviewer's access code for the stereo version. Was this a blatant bribe to positively influence me, or merely their way of applying pressure to for-God's-sake use a spell checker? I report. You decide.

Actually, I asked the producer to comp me the access so I could contrast the two audio versions. Spoiled the suspense for you there, didn’t I?

These episodes are performed by professional voice actors, complete with nice sound effects and an original soundtrack to go along with the action.

The initial schedule called for episodes to be released about once a month, and eleven episodes were to make up the first "season". As often happens, schedules go straight into the trash when they meet reality. The first two episodes are available now (and the first, Mission 256, is a double episode). The next is due out next month.

Online, Silent Universe has been generating some buzz:

We've been featured in online publications such as Slice of Sci Fi, Sci Fi Crows Nest, PRweb, Spaceship Radio, PodcastingNews and others.

And now of course, the coveted mention in Rocket Jones.

Here’s another unique and exciting aspect to this project:

We also invite our audience to do more than just listen; we encourage them to discuss the podcast with the production staff on our online forums (honesty is preferred to flattery, though a little flattery never hurt anyone, hehe). We welcome feedback and critiques on episodes, suggestions for future plot ideas, and even spec script submissions for hopeful science fiction writers.

I’ve been to the forums, and they’ve started to build a fan community discussing various aspects of the show. I expect it to grow quite a bit as they work the kinks out of the production process and begin to release new episodes on a more regular basis.

Ok, so that’s all well and good, but I can hear you saying, “Ted, that’s all well and good, but what did *you* think of it?�

More importantly, what did Bub think of it?

Enthralled, I’d say.

The episodes are fast paced and seem logical within the framework of the story. I absolutely love Emmeline’s accent (she claims Scot, but there’s some debate on that in the forums, which bothers me not).

I also like the bad guys so far. They don’t seem evil just for evil’s sake as there is an underlying rationale for their actions. When they act in a way that you personally wouldn’t, there’s a tendency, in my mind at least, to attribute that to cultural differences rather than plot inconsistencies (those crafty Asians).

A few of the characters are already on my “please die soon� list. The two sisters, Ritsu and May, are annoying as hell, which isn’t strictly a bad thing as characters go, but their dialogue doesn’t advance the action and they seem to be there only because the group needed to be bigger.

Unlike others on the forums, I’m not put off by the resident computer geek of the crew. A little over the top, yes, but he’s ok in small doses. Giving him more than a sentence or two at a time though might make me reach for the airlock handle.

My favorite line so far was in the second episode, when Emmeline muttered “bloody bastards� under her breath.

Why those simple words worked so well has to do with my major criticism. In the first episode, many characters used the word “frack� as a futuristic version of the f-bomb. “Frack this� and “you frackin’…� and so on. I’ve since learned that the word might have originated with Battlestar Galactica, but since I was never a fan of that show I don’t remember it myself. In any event, its use here just doesn’t work. Every time someone uses it, the flow of the dialogue stumbles a little bit.

The good news is that episode 2 was almost completely devoid of “frack�, which is why the “bloody bastards� line was such a pleasant surprise. I found myself mentally cringing in scenes where the word "frack" might be used, and it was a welcome improvement to hear more natural-sounding dialogue.

(mental note: new Rocket Jones tagline – “frack� free since 2003)

Hey, since this is audio theater, I should probably mention the sound quality, eh? I first tried the non-stereo version and I’ve got to tell you that the sound quality is very good. As good as it is, it doesn't come close to the exceptional experience of the stereo version. If you get into the story, I think it's worth it to subscribe. The stereo version eliminates the commercials too, although they're not terribly intrusive.

Bottom line: If you like science fiction or suspense stories, especially the old space opera genre (paging E.E. “Doc� Smith!), then you’ll probably enjoy Silent Universe. Even if you don’t, I recommend downloading the free version of the first episode and giving it a listen.

I know I’m hooked. What about you, bub?

Thought so.

* The animated Bub graphics were lovingly lifted from I-mockery.com. Hopefully that acknowledgement and link will keep their lawyers off my ass.

Two Disturbing Sculptures

And you just know that I want one of them.

Garden Sculpture (via Two Nervous Dogs, who you should be reading every day (the link is in the sidebar because you've gotten lazy and I want to watch you dance like a puppet on my string. Now hop to and go clicky clicky!!!))

Museum Sculpture.

Maybe frightening is a better word.

LDRS Video

This year was the silver anniversary of LDRS, which is the annual national launch for high power rocketry. The location changes every year, and this year's event in Amarillo, Texas looks to have been big fun.

I'd already talked about some flights made by local rocketeers that I fly with. Now you can check out the video.

The Japanese are just plain weird

From Mad William Flint, here's a YouTube video of some sort of Japanese prank show with a sadistic, hilarious twist. Make sure you watch long enough to see the "beach" version.

She was a sniper ?!?!?!

Talk about pressure to perform!

Dr. Ruth Westheimer, the diminuitive (4 ft 7 in) sex educator, has led an interesting and sometimes tragic life. After World War II she immigrated to Isreal and joined the Haganah (precursor to the Isreali Defense Force:

...she was trained as a sniper and was seriously wounded in action by an exploding shell during the 1948 Arab-Israeli War.

This isn't totally unrelated, it's a video about the Isreali Air Force and Army. Thanks to Victor, who is guest posting for Annika while she's on vacation.

Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

A collection of cool links that might be of interest to you.

Pop cultchah. We got yer pop cultchah right here.

Do you miss MST3K? If yes, then check out RiffTrax, Mike Nelson's new endevour. You download the soundtrack (it costs $1.99), buy or rent the movie, then watch the movie while listening to the audio on your iPod or other mp3 player. The inaugural flick is Roadhouse:

This is it – the best movie ever made about a world-famous bouncer and his epic struggle with the evil owner of the local J.C. Penney. Patrick Swayze is at his most shirtless as Dalton, a bouncer who is as comfortable quoting Zen aphorisms as he is kicking drunken men in the head.

I might have to start collecting these. Thanks to Captain Ed for the pointer (and good luck with the new implant).

I've written before about the weird synchronicity between the beginning of the movie The Wizard of Oz and Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon album. Via YouTube, you can get a taste of what I'm talking about. Thanks to JohnL for the pointer.

The computer game Myst took the world by storm, being the best-selling computer game for ten straight years. I've recently been playing a version specifically created for my PDA, and started looking around for some hints online. What I found was, like much of the Myst universe, a hidden treasure trove of information and news about this still-thriving gamer community. There are many sequels to the original, and even rewrites of the originals to take full advantage of new technology, letting you play the game like it was originally conceived, without the limitations of the day. Doing a simple google search will return well over eight and a half million hits! Rather than wade through that, here's a very nice set of useful links to Myst related sites.

Model Railroads. Everyone remembers them, some of us still play with them (N-scale here). The Atlas Model Railroad Company has completely revamped their website and has implemented the coolest online catalog that I've ever seen. If you've done any model railroading beyond a boxed set you got at Christmas, chances are good that you've used Atlas track. Check it out.

For the armchair modelers, Atlas offers this nifty freeware tool called Right Track Software 7.0. This lets you design that railroad empire of your dreams right on your desktop, and it's got an amazing numbers of features available, including the ability to print out parts lists once you've got things set to your satisfaction. Even if you never lay a single piece of actual track, you can spend hours playing with this.

The Connecticut Senate race has gotten interesting. Democratic incumbent Lieberman (former VP nomination) has incurred the wrath of the anti-war crowd by supporting the US war in Iraq. Their response has been to back a challenger, Lamont, who seems to be a one-note candidate: "Iraq is wrong". That candidate is running neck-and-neck with Lieberman, so Lieberman has filed to run as an independent if he loses the democratic primary. All polls show that he'd win handily in that situation, which poses something of a dilemma for state democrats. That's all background to this next bit, though.

MuNu's own Steve, from Hold the Mayo, lives in Connecticut, and he sent a series of questions to the republican candidate, Schlesinger, who will have to face off against whoever wins the democratic primary (and Lieberman, if he runs as an independent). Steve asks good questions, and then poses followups. Great job, and thanks to candidate Alan Schlesinger for taking the time to give solid answers to questions about specific issues. Agree or disagree, you know where this guy stands.

Hey, I went to Las Vegas! Guess what? Derek from Son of Cheese was also there, and in fact our visits overlapped. We didn't know it though (secretive bastard that I am), so we didn't meet face to face. Anyway, go read about *his* Las Vegas times, which also included a Penn & Teller experience, and a whole lot more food than mine did.

Also, over at Dick's Rocket Dungeon, we're treated to a great series from Dick himself about his trip to Vegas. His is even better than mine because he's got pictures of showgirls and exploding buildings! Woohoo!!!

During my last visit, I was lucky enough to witness one of those casino-implosions. If you ever get a chance to see a building demolition, go for it.

And finally, a note about Munu trackbacks. We've turned 'em off system-wide because so far this month, along with the one thousand or so valid trackbacks we've been bombarded with over four million spam trackbacks. Yikes!!! Thanks to our host Pixy Misa, who's been working overtime at this hobby of his to keep us up and running.

The Dungeon on Pooh Corner

Found while innocently bopping around Google.

No, really.

Pay attention before it's too la... nevermind

The Top 10 Unintentionally Worst Company URLs.

I mean, where else would you find Pen Island other than www.penisland.net?

Thanks to Zoe Brain for the pointer.

And you think *you've* had a bad week?

Imagine being this couple, who made it home to Washington DC after being evacuated from Lebanon, and then were immediately evacuated from their apartment building due to a broken water main.

McCollough, who joked that her bags were already packed, took the evacuation in stride.

They've since been given the all-clear to move back in, but water to the building is still out. As the newscaster on the radio said "at least in DC, nobody is shelling you as you evacuate".

Blast from the Past

Someone visited Rocket Jones today from VoodooChild's site, which I linked to long ago. He's been inactive for a couple of years as far as I can tell, and I know he changed locations at least twice that I know of.

Besides being a serious rocker, his place also featured several great links to pinup sites on the net. So, because I'm a boob man instead of losing these valuable historical and interesting sites, I'll collect the live links here for your and mine future reference.

(obviously, these are NSFW)

Cheesecake: The Art of the Pin-Up

Hips, lips, & tits... it's Bettie Page!

Bianca's Boudoir

Domai - tasteful nudes

Dragstrip Groupies

Harlow Art

Hollywood Pinup

The Painted Anvil

The Pin-up Files

Pandemos the SecretMuse

Sex Kitten

Vintage Elegance

World of Pinup

Ok, one last thing. I have visited each of these long enough to verify that they're still there. I haven't spent any time checking everything out, so don't be whining about your free boob-shots not being of sufficient quality. Sheesh, uppity pervs. Who'da thunk it?

I hereby deem this cool

I blatantly and shamelessly stole that title from BLUE.

Check this out:

Back in April of 1997, many comic artists participated in a massive swap, in that each of them did the art for a different one. Some were done by friends for each other pairing off, others were done in large "circles".

He's got many of them scanned, and you can see things like the swap between Blondie and Garfield, Dilbert and Family Circus, and chains like On The Fastrack as drawn by Sherman's Lagoon, Sherman's Lagoon as drawn by Baby Blues, Baby Blues as drawn by Herb And Jamaal, Herb And Jamaal as drawn by Broom Hilda, and so on.

Good Cool stuff.

Another good reason not to blow your fingers off

Get your mind out of the gutter. I'm talking about poker chip tricks! Sorted by difficulty, with complete descriptions and video showing you how to do each trick.

Steven Wright once said

"When I die, I'm donating my body to science fiction."

A while back I saw a television program about something that makes such perfect sense, but is so utterly revolting, that you want to retch and say 'doh!' at the same time.

There's a forensics research lab in Tennesee where they study human remains. I'm not talking about sterile anatomy and such, although some of that is done. This facility takes donated bodies and examines them as they decompose within the framework of an outdoor crime scene. In other words, they bury them in shallow graves, or cover them with leaves, or toss them into small streams, or wrap them loosely in a tarp. And leave them there. Then they watch and take notes. And by doing this under controlled conditions, law enforcement can better determine the facts when partially or wholly decomposed bodies are discovered.

Fascinating stuff, but not for the squeamish. The website is user-friendly, meaning it doesn't look like a documentary of "The Making of 'Jason the SlasherCamp Chainsaw Cannibal'". It's all rather polite actually. Positively mature.

Makes one long for the days of William Hung

David the Hasselhof.

From Grant, who is now on my short list of people to punch for inflicting personal mental pain and anguish, or will be, when I stop laughing.

Funny but too true

Seen over at Babble-on, a most excellent place to while away some time.

What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together?

100 people who don't do dick.

At least 50 lesbians would be interesting to watch.

If I had a billboard

I would hope I had half the balls this guy has (this one is pretty mild).

The URL is given right there. Check out the archive of signs that this guy puts up in front of his business.

Don't need to be no zen master for this one

From Diane, via Dustbury:

If Gore invented the Internet, why do so many Internet addresses start off with Dubya, Dubya, Dubya?

Can't you see? It's all about the fish oil!!!

From California Yankee:

Fred Krupp, head of Environmental Defense, says the President's plan to designate the Northwestern Hawaiian Islands Coral Reef Ecosystem Reserve as a National Monument creates the world's largest marine protected area.

About the size of California, the national monument will be 38 times larger than Yellowstone, and larger even than Australia's Great Barrier Reef Marine Park. It will consist of 139,000 square miles of largely uninhabited islands, atolls, coral reef colonies and seamounts, starting 160 miles west of Kauai, the remote 1,400-mile long string of islands extends to Kure atoll, west of Midway Island.

Daydreams of Synergy

From Dustbury:

Boral Bricks' newest plant is in Union City, and when its test production run proved to be up to industry standards, Boral first thought about selling the bricks at a discount.

But no, you can't buy them: instead, Boral is donating the entire run to Central Oklahoma Habitat for Humanity, enough to build 54 houses.

Mocking the random commuter

To the elderly gentleman seen on my drive home,

Sir, you are a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma (to paraphrase Churchill).

Your hair is white. Not gray. Not silver, but that dingy white that makes one think of yellowed old bone.

Despite the color, you have that odd youthful haircut that no one can miss. Maybe you think it reminds people of the Beatles. It made me think of Moe Howard of the Three Stooges.

You drove for most of ten miles with your right blinker on.

Yet you drove like a young bobsledder, seemingly immortal as you were weaving in and out of traffic, going so far as to straddle two lanes for long stretches as you decided which side would give you an advantage measured in seconds. Bonus points for using your turn signal, even though it was only correct half the time.

Finally, a word about your car. The Scion isn't cool. It looks like the box a Mini-Cooper came in.

I guess this makes it official

I already knew it, but it's still nice to have confirmation.

Thanks to Lemur Girl, who's due congrats for completing her college degree! Yay!!!

She's got the low-down on the link above too.

Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

Y'gads, another long forgotten regular feature exhumed from its shallow grave...

Zoe Brain tells about an open secret, namely that the two Mars Rovers are each carrying a piece of the World Trade Center aboard.

The company who built the drills on the robots' hydraulic arms are based just a few blocks from Ground Zero.

Staff at Honeybee Robotics fled clouds of dust and smoke when the Twin Towers collapsed.

And they decided to pay a "quiet tribute" to the 3000 victims of September 11 by putting debris from the attacks into their design.

Engineers at Honeybee turned two pieces of aluminium from the site into shields to protect the wiring on the drills. Each curved piece is the size of a credit card, and marked with the American flag.

More technology news from Random Nuclear Strikes, where we find out that a recent breakthrough might make hydrogen as cheap to produce as gasoline! Yay! Maybe, but there's a bit more to the technology than just making cheap fuel. Read and become informed.

In related (somewhat) energy technology news, Buckethead of The Ministry of Minor Perfidy links up to a new idea that's making waves, mainly by adapting an old idea to new technology. This looks promising.

Did you know that Mercedes makes a *Luxury* car?!?!?!?! Head on over to the Parkway Rest Stop and check out his sighting of a Maybach Motors creation.

Ah, employee handbooks. Source of endless amusement and/or teeth-gnashing, depending on your mood. Check out some detailed analysis of one such over at Nothing to see here, move along.

Finally, I've got good news and I've got bad news from the world of toons. Bad news first...

DeDoc posted about the passing of Alex Toth. Who, you may ask? Mr. Toth was the artist who did the original Johnny Quest, among other works. Doc has the links.

And in Toon good news...

Hearst's King Features Syndicate and Warner Home Video have finally come to terms, and 231 classic Popeye cartoons originally distributed to theaters by Paramount will be available on DVD.

The package also includes some made-for-TV cartoons, but what you care about here are the originals, produced from 1933 to 1942 by the Fleischer Studios and from then until 1957 (using some of the same animators) by Paramount's own Famous Studios.

I'll end it here on that happy note. You are happy, right? Original Popeye on DVD? I'm smiling.

Return of the Son of the Great Random Google Google Google Junket

Way back in the early days of Rocket Jones, I was a blog-linkin' fool. There were many and varied ways I used to spread the love, as it were. One original idea was the Great Random Google Junket - aptly and beautifully named by Susie - where folks would leave various words in the comment section and I would combine them into Google searches and post the results.

As I mentioned, Dogette's comment gave me the impetus to revive the idea, much like lightning striking the mad-scientisty doodads erected atop Dr. Frankenstein's tower.

This may become a semi-regular feature again. In any event, and in order to invade Dogette's privacy, I dedicate this first one to her, and ask you all to put on your best Jan Brady voice and welcome the Rocket Jones Great Random Google Google Google Junket!

Interestingly, when I googled "poop" and "shrub" (two frequent topics at TND), amongst the expected horticultural sites were a surprising number of hits from anti-presidential mouth breathers. Easily distinguished from intelligent life by a complete refusal to offer anything resembling intelligent debate, they don't bother to degenerate to name-calling. They just start there and it quickly goes downhill. They are also strikingly alike in that they offer no alternatives or suggested ideas beyond "it shouldn't be like that".

Moving on, sort of, if we add the terms "privacy" and "orange" to "poop" and "shrub", we get a link to, ta-daaaaaahhhhh:

Harley's Poop Patrol. According to their website, they're number 1 in the business of number 2, and they service all of Orange county. I wonder if they've ever done a cameo on that television show. Their rates seem reasonable and they offer customer testimonials! How cool is that. Way to go Harley!

See what kind of shit (*ahem*) we get into during a Random Google Google Google Junket?

Triticale jumped right in and offered up "snorkel". Since I'm shining the giant bright spotlight of attention at Dogette, I combined "snorkel" with "dog" and came up with Snorkel Dog boxer shorts.

"I heart pesticides". So goeth the wisdom that is Dogette, now available thanks to this site.

And finally, in one of those odd good/bad situations, we find that Howard Johnson Enterprises (home of the bright orange roof) also produce "all season triamine weed and feed". I'd probably skip the salad bar next time you're at HoJo's, eh? Actually, I have no idea if it's the same Howard Johnson. I'm too lazy to dig deeper.

But not too lazy to find this (.pdf format) data sheet on Triamine2, which is described as "A three-way post-emergent selective broadleaf herbicide" with lots of other scary words listed after that.

Ok folks, so that's how the Great Random Google Google Google Junket works. Leave a word in the comments, and try not to get too out there with your vocabulary, since medical terms tend to bring up boring medical sites, etc. Get creative but keep it on the common end of the spectrum.

Do it for Jan.

Precise

Over at Random Nuclear Strikes, AnalogKid defines several common units of measurement, and helpfully provides their metric counterparts.

A sample:

Yesterday, I used the term “Shitload�

1-Load = The amount of work you can reasonably get done in 8 hours

1-Buttload = 1 Load plus your lunch break

I read these last night with wife Liz and daughter Robyn over my shoulder, and we were all laughing out loud. Don't miss those metric equivalents!

Dang, no more live blogging I guess

Zarq-man is dead.

Maybe he can start a trend, you know, dead blogging.

The resurrection of original content

Thanks to a comment by Dogette and the reinforcement by Buckethead, I'm seriously considering the revival of a regular feature of the early days of Rocket Jones. Renamed slightly, of course.

The Rocket Jones Great Random Google, Google, Google Junket.

What say you?

Meme-o-gram

That's when you take something and squeeze it until it ain't fun anymore. That's as good a description as any for a majority of the memes floatin' around out there.

But it has been awhile since I've played the meme game, so all I can say is, Susie can tap me anytime.

Here we go.

5 things in my fridge:
* yogurt
* reduced-cholesterol eggs
* regular eggs (for baking)
* reduced-cholesterol margarine
* butter (for baking)

5 things in my closet:
* large box full of unbuilt rocket kits
* assorted prom dresses from the girls
* "junk shelf" containing, among other things, spare AA batteries for my cordless mouse and keyboard
* Rachael's video camera (our old one)
* clothes of all kinds (I don't have a dresser)

5 things in my briefcase:
* foldable bluetooth keyboard for my PDA
* chapstick
* computer textbook that I'm working my way through
* mini-mag light
* Leatherman

5 things in my car:
* sunglasses
* bag o' bungee cords
* tarp
* umbrella
* ice scraper/window squeegee

5 people I want to torture with this meme:
* Link back here or leave a comment if you run with it

Quick, before the server falls over again!

Mapgirl is hosting this week's Carnival of Personal Finance. Go, visit and usk djc nm87##2i----------

From Boring to Bling

Pimp My Cubicle. We're doomed I tell ya. Freakin' doomed.

How can you measure the size of a man's vibe?

The title is one of those eternal questions, asked in a purely spiritual sense.

I've been very naughty because I haven't written about this sooner, but it should be alright because "salvation is negotiable". At least, so says Father Nookie of the Church of Chaos.

No, my meds are fine, thanks.

See, it's like this... a while back I got this package in the mail. It was small, but packed full of concentrated coolness. As I pulled item after item out of the box, I was amazed at the generousity of Blue. What this guy did was to send me a care package full of music and poker goodies.

If you've been to Blue's place, you know that besides his day gig as a 'puter drone, that he's a blogger and podcaster. He's also a musician with a studio in his basement, and several self-produced CD's in his catalog. And that's what was in that little box.

Not long ago he finished up the soundtrack to a television documentary, and he included a copy of that. It's perfect for the Friday afternoon commute, when I need to stay calm. As an added bonus, being mostly instrumental, I can make up my own lyrics to serenade the idiot-du-jour in traffic.

This morning (and what reminded me to finally write something about this), I listened again to Church of Chaos: Snow White and the Seven Deadly Sins. Blue describes this as "industrial dance", and it's chock full of memorable wordplay set to catchy, hook-filled music. Great stuff, if you like the style. I do, it's excellent cranked up during my early morning drive to work.

Like I said, there were several CD's in the box, and I'll talk about the others real soon now. In the meantime, I really do recommend Blue's music, because everything I've heard has been good times.

This week Blue is in the studio, working on his latest Booze Monkey offering. Sometime this summer (I think), he'll be playing a live gig in Winchester, Virginia. I'm planning on going, and I think that it would make an excellent blogmeet as well. Stay tuned and I'll keep y'all up to date on future plans.

According to Miss Sin, the average length, erect, is 5 1/4 inches. So there's a physical answer to that metaphysical question.

The Road To Hell Is Lined With Google Search Terminals

Remember, Google is Satan your friend.

Among the results returned for "Candy Baby Jesus":

Amazon sells a Nativity Chocolate Candy Mold set. Oops, "not available". Dang, 'cause that was just about perfect for when the Pope drops in and you want to offer him a little something sweet. I'm unclear on the etiquette here, would you nibble the savior feet first or head first? I think it would be funny to make one of these and gnaw the heads off of all the figures. Oh, and use white chocolate... hey, I just played the race card!!! Go, me!

Mapgirl, I'll save you a seat. Look for me near the boiling lake of blood.

Memorial

My thanks go out today to every man and woman who has ever worn the uniform.

My grandfather served in WWI.

My great uncle served in WWII. This is the citation from his Medal of Honor:

NEPPEL, RALPH G.

Rank and organization: Sergeant, U.S. Army, Company M, 329th Infantry, 83d Infantry Division. Place and date: Birgel, Germany, 14 December 1944. Entered service at: Glidden, Iowa. Birth: Willey, Iowa. G.O. No.: 77, 10 September 1945. Citation: He was leader of a machinegun squad defending an approach to the village of Birgel, Germany, on 14 December 1944, when an enemy tank, supported by 20 infantrymen, counterattacked. He held his fire until the Germans were within 100 yards and then raked the foot soldiers beside the tank killing several of them. The enemy armor continued to press forward and, at the pointblank range of 30 yards, fired a high-velocity shell into the American emplacement, wounding the entire squad. Sgt. Neppel, blown 10 yards from his gun, had 1 leg severed below the knee and suffered other wounds. Despite his injuries and the danger from the onrushing tank and infantry, he dragged himself back to his position on his elbows, remounted his gun and killed the remaining enemy riflemen. Stripped of its infantry protection, the tank was forced to withdraw. By his superb courage and indomitable fighting spirit, Sgt. Neppel inflicted heavy casualties on the enemy and broke a determined counterattack.

He passed away in 1987. He was named "Handicapped Iowan of the Year" in 1970, and in 1989 the VA honored him by naming a wing of the Iowa City VA Hospital for him. A VFW post in Carroll, Iowa continues to award to scholarships each year in his name to the children of veterans.

My Dad was in the Air Force during the Korean conflict. He wasn't in-theater, and was medically retired after a devastating illness.

On my wife's side of the family, I know that Liz's Dad was a Marine, and at least two of her uncles served in Vietnam and made the Air Force their career.

Our son served a tour in the US Navy on the submarine USS Philadelphia. That boat is specially equipped to deliver special forces, and although he can't and won't say, I believe that they were directly involved in the initial stages of the Iraq invasion.

Finally, I'll include Shaun. Shaun has served two tours in Iraq with the US Army, and is the son of a friend that I served with during my Air Force days in Germany.

Thank you all.

Previous memorial posts on Rocket Jones can be found here and here.

Purty Pictures

Pixy Misa pointed out this nifty Java applet that graphs your website. Check out Rocket Jones in the extended entry.

Oops (kinda)

I should have mentioned yesterday that both Dick Stafford's Rocket Dungeon and Mapgirl's Fiscal Challenge have been added to the blogroll. Of course, if I would've done that, then I wouldn't have had a post today.

Since I'm in some sort of weird "posting content" mood

Over at Pratt Hobbies blog, Doug has put up a picture of himself and his son Brian. Brian was my co-timer during the Team America finals.

Meanwhile, for the true tech-geek out there, check out this mashup of Google Maps that lets you track the orbital positions of satellites as well as letting you know when and where they'll appear in your sky over the next 48 hours. Tres cool! Kudos to Dick's Rocket Dungeon for the info and pointer.

Great Comment

You may or may not have heard about Lordi, the Finnish band that staged a huge upset to win the European version of American Idol*.

No? Over at the Ministry of Minor Perfidy, they have a bunch of pictures of this group along with plenty of background. Fun reading, even if you're not into "Arctic Death Metal bands" (and if not, why not?).

I liked this comment by the lead singer of Lordi:

"We are not Satanists. We are not devil-worshippers. This is entertainment. Underneath [the mask] there’s a boring normal guy, who walks the dogs, goes to the supermarket, watches DVDs, eats candies.

But my favorite part, which resulted in a massive choking fit caused by the ol' soda-through-the-nose effect, was when Mapgirl** wonders aloud in the comments:

Heh heh “eats candies� Candied what? Baby Jesuses?

Worth the click.

**Mapgirl is a long-time commenter at the Ministry (she was already there when I found them) and she has a personal finances blog. You should go say hi.

Not Quite What I Remember

NASA creates some wicked cool animated mission videos, and the best I've seen was a version where someone added a background soundtrack of Lenny Kravitz' Fly Away.

This version is pretty good though, set to Nine Inch Nails Sunspots. Check out NIN to Mars.

Here's another, which leaves the original NASA audio intact. It's longer too, not edited down to fit a particular song.

I remember

I remember seeing the pubic service announcement as a lad.

I don't remember it being a big problem.

Maybe a regional thing: Willie Mays warning kids not to play with blasting caps.

Thanks to The McCovey Chronicles for the memories.

See what being a nice guy will get you?

A while back... ok, quite a while back, I mentioned an idea I had for a new banner. I was just hoping to pull it off using my basic photoshopping skills ("photoshopping" as a generic term, I have an older version of Paint Shop Pro, which isn't quite the same thing).

Derek, professional art-teest that he is, was kind enough to offer to create it based on my idea. His first go was awesome, but not quite what I had in mind. Second and third, closer. There are a couple of changes I'd still like to make, but tell me that ain't genius up top there, both in execution and concept.

Derek, you rock. Go Avs.

One of the funniest things I've ever read

Over at Iowahawk, Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi (listed as "Senior VP, Al-Qaeda In Iraq") is guest-blogging.

Make sure you check out his past posts too, there are links in the article.

Thanks to Transterrestrial Musings for the pointer.

Fall back on the ol' reliable, and thinking about making it it's own category

Zombies, of course.

From Mookie, the agenda driven ZombiesDontRun.com.

And one from my personal bookmark collection: Zombie Astronaut.

Recommended.

You can find most anything on the 'net

Via Mookie, who writes:

They got Bub!!!

Horror and monster masks of many famous (and gruesome) faces. Including Bub, official zombie of Rocket Jones (you'll have to scroll down a ways to find him).

Did you hear the latest buzz?

Teledildonics!

Sometimes I just crack myself up.

But this could be huge. Imagine handcuffs where the lock is remote controlled like OnStar! Oh man, I can picture the commercials now.

I'm claiming first credit for publicly linking the ideas of teledildonics, bondage, and OnStar-style services. Anyone wanna invest?

I've always said,

Surround yourself with interesting people, and you'll never be bored.

Doug Pratt tells a great story about his family history and where he grew up, a place called Robin Hill.

It's Monday, have a laugh

Les Jones. No relation.

The inherent relevance is staggering during this holy season

I mean, there's that giant rock that was rolled in front of JC's tomb, and then there's rock's giant moments. And in today's world JC might've called his apostles "peeps".

Check it out: Great Moments in Rock and Roll History - as reenacted by marshmallow peeps.

Thanks be to Dustbury for the pointer.

Good thing the Ninja left his Pirate friends at home

My buddy Russ sent this link to me:

ATF agents are always on alert for anything suspicious — including ninjas.

Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearm agents, on campus Tuesday for Project Safe Neighborhoods training, detained a “suspicious individual� near the Georgia Center, University Police Chief Jimmy Williamson said.

Jeremiah Ransom, a sophomore from Macon, was leaving a Wesley Foundation pirate vs. ninja event when he was detained.

After being held in investigative detention, he was found to have violated no criminal laws and was not arrested.

The story is pretty funny, after the fact. It's easy to see now that the agents overreacted, but given today's environment I'm glad to see that they are paying attention.

Just in case though, I'm working up a list of people I suspect are secretly Ninjas and I'll be forwarding that list to the BATFE.

Oooooooooo, I'm scared

Those goofy Iranians.

First they test fire their best missile. Then they claim they've got a sooper-dooper torpedo that acts just like the one they bought from the Russians (those same Russians who quit using it because it tends to malfunction in an entertainingly cataclismic manner). So what do they roll out next?

The Stealth Heliboat. Or something like that.

Or something like this!

ROFLMAO

The Great Gatorade Conspiracy.

Thanks to Eric at Off Wing Opinion for the pointer.

Congratulations are in order

Buckethead is a new daddy! Yay!!! On Friday, his wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and everyone is doing fine. Go on over to the Ministry and say hi.

Excellent tagline

Spotted over at McCovey Chronicles:

Johnny Twobags doesn't have the blues and it makes him sad, brings him down...but not down enough to have the blues.

Check out the Rocket Jones Tagline Archive for more classic email philosophy.

Fantasy come true

From Pratt Hobbies, the Surface to Idiot Missile.

Disclaimer: It's a sad but true fact that in today's world it must be explicitely stated that it's a joke. *sigh*

Forest for the Trees

File this under "why didn't I see this?", from Hold the Mayo:

How ironic that the argument goes that illegal immigrants are just here doing the jobs Americans don't want to do when the one job the government seem to be trying hard to avoid doing is dealing with illegal immigration.

For that matter, why doesn't anyone else see the simple beauty here?

Whipping those tenants into shape

A Rocket Jones bondage post is long overdue, and wouldn't you know, the news provides the hook.

First of all, I have a problem with the headline:

Church ousts Dominatrix from Vicarage.

When you read the story, you find out that the Dominatrix rented the property from the church and she claims she held a long-term lease with an option to buy. Once the church found out what her business was, then they wanted to evict her.

She decided not to fight the church in court. They didn't "oust" her, because I suspect that they didn't have a legal leg to stand on.

A couple of questions come to mind. First, is being a Dominatrix illegal in South Africa? It doesn't appear to be, judging from the story. She had even given a tour of her "torture chamber" to reporters. Notice also that she didn't have sex with her clients and it wasn't a brothel. You were paying to be dominated by a woman, you weren't paying for sex.

Was there a "morals" clause in her lease? You know what I mean, something that states that the tenant will only behave in ways acceptable to the church. I don't know if that's enforcable, especially if said actions aren't illegal.

Finally, are any of the church congregation clients? Just curious. It would be professional suicide for her to mention names, because confidentiality would be crucial in her line of work. I wonder if any of the church members are heaving huge sighs of relief that this is all going away (semi) quietly.

Whip me, beat me, make me evict you. *snicker*

Personally, I think she was in the right, but decided that the fight just wasn't worth it. That's a shame. I'm all for tweaking the nose of authority whenever possible.

EU. Pronounced "ew".

Nanny Stateism strikes again:

The European Commission is to propose legislation aimed at slashing "unproportional" charges on international mobile phone calls within the European Union (EU).

EU commissioner for information society and media Viviane Reding said the executive European Commission has to propose an EU regulation after mobile telecom operators failed to respond to her calls for lower costs six months ago.

"I have warned the industry repeatedly that price must be brought down, but it seems the industry has had trouble understanding my message," Reding told a press conference on Tuesday.

Got that? She asked telecom businesses to lower their prices, and they had the gall to ignore her. So her solution is to ram through a binding "regulation" that will force the companies to limit their rates. Never mind what charges the market will bear, you've got to provide another entitlement to all those unemployed youngsters I guess.

I love this part:

"There is no way that these prices are justified," said Reding. "The regulation would ensure that operators do not charge substantially more than the actual cost."

The wholesale savings of operators would then be made to pass on to consumers, she said.

Yep. Don't allow the Telecoms to make a profit, then pass the "savings" on to the people!

She dismissed fears that EU-level intervention would push operators to make up their lost revenue in the domestic market.

Of course she did. Cause and effect doesn't apply to fantasyland. Just ask the California electricity industry.

Girls with Guns

More pictures of women in the military than you can empty a magazine at. Safe for work, but definitely not boring.

Thanks to the Jawa Report for the pointer.

Bummer times two

Jennifer hangs it up.

The guys down at Whitakers, North Carolina lost their flying field. It's not actually lost, it's just been turned into a corn field without prior notice.

Got BUFF?

Uncle Sam does, and he's had it for half a century now.

Happy 50th Birthday to the B52 Stratofortress. One seriously bad mofo.

Thanks to Transterrestrial Musings for the pointer.

Pratt Hobbies Blog (aka "All the cool kids are doing it")

My friend Doug Pratt has started a rocketry blog, and named it, appropriately enough, Pratt Hobbies Blog. It will soon be on the sidebar.

He's off to a great start, including a post about how the BATFE is reacting to their recent smackdown by the Federal courts regarding rocket motors. Short answer: they are not taking it well, and it seems that the retaliation against the hobby has started. Read more over at Doug's blog, and, like most of us, he wanders off onto other topics as the fancy takes him. Check it out.

Do it again and make the girl happy.

Princess Cat is closing in on her first MuNuversary and has a goal. Click the link and bump her hit counter.

Oh yeah, just like that.

Again.

Faster.

Don't stop.

And size does matter, so you higher traffic blogs should be joining in with a mention and links as well.

Treat the lady right.

Vid Hits and Kicks

Over at Off Wing Opinion, Eric has been on a video jag lately. Check out the Alexander Ovechkin and Sidney Crosby highlights, and don't miss my personal favorite, the New Zealand National Rugby team doing a Maori Haka. Awesome!

Not So Different After All

I was visiting Wegglywoo and found a link to a new group blog that she's part of.

The post titiled The Rules of Life for Australian (Heterosexual) Men had me laughing out loud. Here's a sample:

11. It is permissible to quaff a fruity alcopop drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel and it's free.

26. The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was.

Job Openings in Exciting Times

Mark Oakley hadn't posted anything for quite a long time, which is understandable since he's busy working for one of the original X-Prize challengers. They're still in business, because being the first to do it (Rutan) doesn't necessarily count for anything more than historical recognition (is the Wright Aircraft Corporation still around?).

Anyway. TGV Rockets is hiring.

Related to that, check this out from RocketForge:

You don't steer the elephant, you just drive around him in your new car.

Ya don't gots to be no musish'nin to enjoy these

From Parkway Rest Stop, an abundance of amusing bass guitars.

There are female astronauts because the guys won't stop and ask for directions

Rich points out that there are now Google Mars and Google Moon. Very cool.

While you're there, check out his link to the worst Transformer and GoBot characters ever. Laugh out loud funny!

Pluto revisited

Not the frozen planet way out yonder, nor the Disney dog.

Project Pluto, which I talked about a couple of years ago, mostly in the context of the ramjet engine that was to be it's source of power.

For those needing a refresher, Pluto was to be a nuclear powered cruise missile, capable of Mach 3 at treetop level, dropping nuclear warheads in its wake. There were serious, ah, problems shall we say, with the concept. It was possible, but eventually people asked if it was desirable.

Thanks to Ghost of a Flea, we have a new link to a nicely detailed history of Project Pluto. Fascinating stuff.

Digging through unposted "draft" articles

Alien loves Predator

Make your own Flying Spaghetti Monster. (Thanks Owlish!)

K, proprietor extrordanaire of Kimochii (Asian cuties in various stages of dress and undress), has combined his several sites into one. Enjoy K's Lounge (NSFW).

If you didn't want to see it before, you really don't now

Over at Q&O, I saw that an animal rights group is complaining that Oscar nominee Brokeback Mountain was "too rough on sheep".

Stunt doubles? Setup for the sequel? I'll never know.

Much to say, little time

If you do a search (over on the right) within Rocket Jones for "BATFE" or "Ashcroft", you'll unearth some posts where I talk about the hobby rocketry organizations in the US suing the Federal Government over their classification of our rocket propellants as explosives.

We won.

The BATFE is expected to appeal, although they're kind of stuck at the moment because in order to adjust their definitions, they'd have to classify other useful things as explosives. Things such as gasoline.

Basically, we've whupped 'em in every battle, but the war ain't over. Soon, hopefully, but the fat lady is still warming up her pipes.

In other rocket-related news, construction has begun on my Level-2 certification rocket. As soon as I get the beastie assembled, I'll post pictures. It's a bigg'un.

More rocket stuffs. BattlePark 2006 will be held again in Culpeper, Virginia on April 22 and 23. This is one of the biggies for the eastern US, with folks from all over attending (including those who say "eh?"). I'm planning on being there for both days.

Let's see... rockets... oh, how's about some hockey? Yepper, my beloved Sharks scored five, count 'em, FIVE power play goals and beat the mighty Detroit Red Wings last night. San Jose needs to rack up some wins to get back into the playoff hunt after their horrible start. They also signed goalie Toskala (maybe you saw him at the Olympics?) to a two-year extension to back up Nabokov (I know you saw him at the Olympics). If the Sharks play well, they'll keep 'em both, but the rumor mill is in high gear because Vesa Toskala is hot property right now (8-0-2 in his last 10 games) and that makes him worth some major trade value.

On the Cult Cinema front, I've been watching, I just haven't been writing! But I hope to remedy that in the near future. Zombies line dancing. That's just a hint.

Speaking of zombies, another couple of chapters of my serial story will be posted "real soon now". Honest. I haven't forgotten the title contest either, so you can sleep at night.

All that and more, coming soon to a Rocket Jones near you!

Daniel Boone goes to the Blogmeet

Last night was the latest Washington DC blogmeet, and as usual the evening was highlighted by excellend company, conversation and plenty of excellent beer.

Princess Cat sent out the details after doing a test-run at the chosen meeting place. We gathered together at the Castle and Elephant Pub, on Pennsylvania Avenue just a couple of blocks down from the Capitol building.

Over time, it appears that our requirements for an acceptable gathering spot has evolved into:

1. Good Beer
2. Casual Dress
3. Metro Access

Now the walkabout portion of the evening happened when my wife and oldest daughter Robyn and I walked out of the metro station and found ourselves in the Woodrow Wilson Plaza smack dab in front of the Ronald Reagan building. Making our way to Pennsylvania Avenue, I confidently led us off in the wrong direction, and after making a grand circle, we found the pub when the ladies noticed the name etched into the windows of the building we were passing. We could see the entrance to the plaza from the front door. In my defense, there was no lighted sign for the pub.

We walked in (fashionably late) and immediately found the group busy trying to arrange tables and seating. Turns out that the pub lost our reservations, so we wound up rearranging tables for additional seats no less than three times during the evening.

Like I said, the highlights are always the company and conversation. The food was ok. Nothing special, although the appetizer platters were heaped with tasty bits. I did notice Robert the LlamaButcher looking a bit green in the gills as I feasted, but he was kind enough not to get sick at or on me while we talked.

The guest list included:

Princess Cat and blogless wonder stealth-blogger Matt
Victor and Nic
Buckethead
Lysander
Robert
Blogoline and her husband Jerry
Dawn (who's having hosting issues, link to be added when her home is settled)
Yours truly with Wife and daughter

There were several no-shows, and you were all missed and talked about behind your back. Neener neener.

We left somewhat early because Liz had been up early for work, and daughter Robyn still had some personal business to take care of (oh yes, she did).

Once again, another excellent evening. Thanks to everyone, and it was great seeing you again, or meeting you for the first time, and I'm looking forward to the next one.

I thought it was 42

A couple of months ago I got an email from someone looking for information on how to get into blogging. BK mentioned that he'd started at Blather Review and from there was just kind of randomly clicking blog links.

I suggested that he head over to Blogspot and fire up something for free and give it a test drive, see how he likes it.

Go say hello to BK over at The Meaning of Life... Or Something Like That. He's interested in philosophy, gaming and science, and looks to have some controversial views on religion.

Hint: Turn on anonymous comments, many of us don't have blogger accounts.

Tagged, I'm It

Meme of Fours. It finally found me, via Cat (who is one of three Virginia bloggers that I know using that name (he said, to explain the apparent confusion)).

Four Jobs That I've Had:
1. Games Barker at an amusement park
2. Security Police guarding nuclear weapons
3. Bartender
4. Tupperware Lady

Four Movies I can watch over and over again:
1. Father Goose
2. King Ralph
3. The Incredibles
4. Guarding Tess, Airheads, The Mummy (original or remake), Twister...

Four T.V. Shows I love to watch: (I'm not a TV fan)
1. Hockey
2. Football
3. History Channel
4. LOST

Four Website's I read Daily (I'll keep it to blogs):
1. QandO
2. Two Nervous Dogs
3. Dustbury
4. Dawn's Place (and much of the rest of the blogroll)

Four Places I've Been on Vacation:
1. Brussels, Belgium
2. Luxembourg, Luxembourg
3. Winnepeg, Canada
4. Good Thunder, Minnesota

Four Favorite Foods:
1. Cheese
2. Pork
3. Mexican anything
4. Soup

Four places I’d rather be:
1. Anyplace but the DC metro area

No tags, if you wanna run with it, go for it

Chip off the ol' headstone-shaped block

Mookie sent a link to me, with the following note:

I think these are so awesome and would make a great coffee table... especially the child ones.

Here's what she's talking about.

Congrats are in order

I've been reading Blogeline for a couple of years now, and I'm proud to announce that on Thursday she became a US citizen!

Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Go on over and leave her a message. And for the locals who're going to be at February 4th's get-together, she's planning on attending as well! It's shaping up to be a great party.

Since we can't walk on water

Except for that one notable exception, that is.

Over at Hold the Mayo, Stephen links to the Whitbread Round the World sailboat race, renamed this year for corporate sponsorship like everything else these days. He's got a bunch of great links and a cool map of the course, which takes months to complete. Here's his description of one leg of the race:

Southern Ocean Here we come again! Iceberg dodging, gale riding, wave surfing, freezing cold, scary, knackering, frightening but FUN. (Yes for some the idea of surfing down a wave in a 70 foot boat in gale force winds while on the lookout for icebergs is considered fun.)

I crewed on a sailboat once. In calm weather. For fun. I have absolutely no idea what it would be like to do what these adventurers do. So I can visit their sites and read, because some of them are posting their daily logs and even video of the race.

Meanwhile, over on the other side of the country, PJ Swenson of Sharkspage gives the heads up on the 2006 Mavericks Surf Contest.

The Mavericks Surf Contest brings together 24 of the world's best big-wave surfers on just 24 hours' notice – between January 1 and March 31, 2006.

When the big waves arrive, the notice goes out and the surfers have to be there and ready to compete 24 hours later. These are serious surfers.

When Mavericks roared through Half Moon Bay last March, 30,000 spectators and two million television viewers in 70 countries watched the best big-wave riders on the planet conquer waves that crested at nearly 50 feet in frigid waters with dangerous currents, jagged rocks and the ever-present threat of the Great White Shark.

That ain't hype either. Check out PJ's page for more links and info.

Like Steve Miller said, "Everything's better when wet".

*sniff* Damn

Lou Rawls, dead of cancer at age 72.

Maybe you've heard about this one

My buddy Russ sent this link:

Everything you see really happened in real time, exactly as you see it. The film required 606 takes. On the first 605 takes, something, usually very minor, didn't work. They would then have to set the whole thing up again.

Really, go see for yourself. It's absolutely amazing. Two minutes of pure genius.

Honda Accord Commercial.

(in the extended entry is the full text that Russ included, but seriously, follow that link first)

Subject: [Buy Sell Trade] "Rube Goldbert" mechanics . . . . I think you'll fine this intereting. In case you missed this one There are NO computer graphics or digital tricks in the film you are about to see. Everything you see really happened in real time, exactly as you see it. The film required 606 takes. On the first 605 takes, something, usually very minor, didn't work. They would then have to set the whole thing up again. The crew spent weeks shooting night and day. By the time it was over, they were ready to change professions. The film cost 6 million dollars and took three months to complete, including a full engineering of the sequence. In addition, it's two minutes long so every time Honda airs the film on British television, they're shelling out enough dough to keep any one of us in clover for a lifetime. However, it is fast becoming the most downloaded advertisement in Internet history. Honda executives figure the ad will soon pay for itself simply in "free" viewing. (Honda isn't paying a dime to have you watch this commercial!) When the ad was pitched to senior executives, they signed off on it immediately without any hesitation -- including the costs. There are six and only six handmade Accords in the world. To the horror of Honda engineers, the filmmakers disassembled two of them to make the film. Everything you see in the film (aside from the walls, floor, ramp, and complete Honda Accord) is parts from those two cars. The voice-over is Garrison Keillor. When the ad was shown to Honda executives, they liked it and commented on how amazing computer graphics have gotten. They fell off their chairs when they found out it was for real. Oh ... about those funky windshield wipers: On the new Accords, the windshield wipers have water sensors and are designed to start functioning automatically as soon as they become wet. It looks a bit odd in the commercial. As amazing as this is, the commercial is actually based on an earlier film from the 1970s called "How Things Move" by two Swiss self-destructing artifacts artists. Some sharp-eyed folks claim that tires rolling UPHILL necessarily require computer-generated effects. Not so. The sequence where the tires roll up a slope looks particularly impressive but is very simple. There is a weight in each tire and when the tire is knocked, the weight is displaced and in an attempt to rebalance itself, the tire rolls up the slope.

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/flash/honda-ad.html

What kind of file is that?

Here's a handy list of file extensions and what they are.

Good on 'em!

Rhode Island Legalizes Medical Marijuana.

This makes me happy for two reasons. First, because there are demonstrated benefits to some cancer, glaucoma and AIDS patients from smoking marijuana.

Second, because it's an always-welcomed poke in Uncle Sam's eye when a state asserts its rights over the federal system. The correct answer is almost never "more government involvement".

Heh, she said Balls

Over at Caterwauling, Dawn has assembled a spherical feast for the Carnival of the Recipes. I love these carnivals, and this edition features even more "must try"'s than the usual.

So head on over, because it's not like you're going to actually keep those resolutions, right?

Because I'm a traditional kind of guy

C'mon, you know it's true, Chuck Norris Jokes are a New Year's Tradition!

My favorites:

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

What, you got something against tradition?

Now that you mention it, he does a have purty mouth

Over at the Ministry of Minor Perfidy they're hosting the latest edition of the Carnival of Tomorrow. Minister Buckethead has titled this one as "Carnival of Tomorrow #16, blatant link whoring edition".

So head on over and check out one of the coolest Carnivals making the rounds.

From Me to You

I won't bother with a rundown on the loot that Santa left for me. Instead, I'll direct you to a few other places of Christmassy related internettedness.

First up, through Dogette - who has been sleighing me (get it?) me with her "12 Poops of Christmas" series (if you're not a PREMIUM USER, then you wouldn't understand) - I've met Jim of Parkway Rest Stop. He reminds me of CGHill's Dustbury, in that he combines charm and local color to create an always interesting and often funny visit. Give him a try, you won't be sorry. He's on the blogroll now too.

Speaking of Dustbury, I just had to include this bit:

Lawrence, Kansas Mayor Boog Highberger has proclaimed International Dada Month, and what's more, he's not adhering to that hopelessly-square business about having it one continuous month: it will begin 4 February 2006, end on 26 October, and occupy randomly-selected days in between.

The proclamation includes a classic line from German Dadaist poet Hugo Ball: "zimzim urallala zimzim urallala zimzim zanzibar zimzalla zam."

That kind of poetic genius just brings a tear to the eye.

Of course, any Christmas visit with Rocket Jones must include zombies! And in one of those frightrul synergystic happenings, we've got poetry about zombies!

Christmassy poetry about zombies!!!

From the Ministry of Minor Perfidy, we are directed to this heart-warming site and their reworking of The Night Before Christmas. A sample stanza:

I in my Kevlar(tm) and ma in Gortek(tm)
Had salvaged some canned goods from a truck that had wrecked
The children had rifles and covered our ass
As Grandpa raced over to siphon some gas

Bless us every one.

Finally, what would Christmas be without scantily clad asian ladies dressed up in red with furry white trim? Not safe for work. I'm going to check under our tree again, just in case Santa left me one and I missed it! I also learned that the name of the site, "Kimochi-ii", is Japanese for "feels goooood!". I've never watched Japanese porn, so I didn't know that. Consider that today's lesson in the "No Pervert Left Behind" curriculum.

Merry Christmas, y'all!

Hockey is on TV, time for a Baseball post

Baltimore Orioles coach Elrod Hendrix died of a heart attack yesterday. Today would have been his 65th birthday. For those who don't know, Elrod was a catcher in the big leauges from 1969 to 1979, mostly with the Orioles. He was the starting catcher for the O's when they won the World Series from '69-'71.

When he retired as a player, he became a coach for the Orioles, and has been the bullpen coach for 28 years. In all, Elrod Hendrix made more appearances in an Orioles uniform than any other man in club history.

He didn't keep a low profile either, he was the unofficial ambassador for the O's, making frequent appearances at youth baseball functions all over the area. It's often said of those who pass away that "he was loved by everyone". In Elrod's case, that was the literal truth.

We're going to miss him.

In other news, the San Fransisco Giants sent overpaid has-been Edgardo Alphonzo to the California Anaheim's of Southern Angels (or whatever the hell they're calling themselves this week) for overpaid has-been Steve Finley.

From the ever-quotable McCovey Chronicles:

Enjoy Alfonzo, Southern California. Enjoy him to the last drop. There is no injury that can explain away just how awful he was, and his age-related decline started when he was about 29. He's truly an artist, both at the plate and around the bag at second. Unfortunately, the artist is Robert Mapplethorpe, and you don't want to know where that bullwhip is going. You think you might get used to it, but you never do.

On the plus side, with the addition of Finley, the Giants can boast an outfield featuring Barry Bonds (age 41), Moises Alou (age 39), and Steve Finley (age 40). This might qualify them for discount contract insurance through AARP.

Color me naughty

Over at Kimochi-ii!!!!, K is posting his usual assortments of asian cuties in various stages of dress and undress (not safe for work!), but he's taken to grouping them by the color of their... whatever... they're wearing.

White.
Black.
Red.
Blue.

So far.

Tagged

I know I got this from at least two people, Cat being one of them. In one of those really odd happenings that make life so interesting and frustrating all at once, today Cat and I discovered that we work in adjacent buildings. The frustrating bit being that tomorrow is her last day there as her internship ends. We *will* be getting together for lunch, and possibly semi-regularly if I understand correctly that her friend "the blogless wonder" works there too (you'll remember him from the blogmeet we had in Old Town Alexandria).

Ah yes, Susie was the other. So be jealous guys, because I got double teamed by two lovely ladies! And don't believe Susie when she claims to be perfectly normal. *nudge nudge* *wink wink*

Ok, so onward to five weird things about me.

1. I am hopeless at math beyond the basics, unless I'm doing computer programming. Do a cruise missile flight simulation using three-dimensional vector geometry? No problem. Kids ask Dad for help with algebra homework? Brain lock, better ask Mom.

2. Lists. If I don't write it down, I'll forget it. Our desk is covered with post-it notes with lists of things I want to remember. I have to clean out my briefcase every once in a while to get rid of old lists and reminders.

3. My pockets. When I'm out, I'm almost OCD about patting my right back pocket to check that my wallet is still there. While I'm at it, the front pockets get a quick pat (keys in front left, pocket watch and change in front right), and my left back too (handkerchief and pocketknife). At work, I reach up and make sure my building badge is in my shirt pocket. I probably look like I'm feeling myself up sometimes.

4. I'm right handed, but when I practiced martial arts I always fought left handed. I'm a better shot left handed too.

5. I can sleep anywhere, anytime. Sitting up, laying down, in a car, on a plane, in the middle of an argument. Doesn't matter. Give me 30 seconds and I'll be snoring.

Bonus weirdness, because Susie brought it up. I must have ketchup on my french fries if they're crinkle cut, otherwise, no thanks. And the only other time I eat ketchup is with grilled cheese sandwiches. Unless I've got a bowl of tomato soup, then I'll dip the sandwich in there.

If you want to play, leave a link in the comments.

Whew!

National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) is over. On the right sidebar is my personal not-quite high point, the bar reflects the last time I'd updated, before I lost that chunk of story. I'd gotten to over 30,000 words when that happened, and the aftermath left me with a little more than 25,000 done as of right now.

Needless to say, that was kind of a momentum crusher. I haven't written a word of it since, although I have opened the file a couple of times. I just haven't had the desire to recreate.

But as of now, I will. I'm going to finish this, dammit. Before the end of December too. I need a title too. Maybe after I post it and y'all read it, we'll have a contest or something. Hmmmm.....

File this next bit under "Yay!": Dawn made her goal! Fifty thousand words in November.

*standing ovation*

Those of us who tried and fell short realize just what an accomplishment that is. So head on over to Dawn's place and congratulate her. She put a helluva lot of work into it.

Did I mention this?

I meant to.

Colored bubbles. Bubbles of color. I mean, when you blow the freakin' bubbles, they float away in technicolor. Time was, you needed blotter acid to see stuff like this.

Very cool, and you won't believe the vision, persistance, and science it took to make it happen. Go here, and then follow Rich's link to the fascinating background story.

Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

The return of an old feature.

What if every sentence were ended with an "excuse me" instead of a period? Scientists have discovered that some fish fart as a means of communication. Thanks to Silflay Hraka (I think) for pointing this one out. Great one-liner over at their place too!

It's the electronic age version of learning about sex from your friends, I suppose. Welcome to Wiki After Dark (adults only), where you can hear the latest rumors and wild speculation about what sex really is. That might be a complete mischaracterization, because I haven't actually read through it. But I assume that like Wikipedia, there will be plenty of good information mixed in with the occasional outright lie or fallacy. Maybe like if you had thousands of opinionated childhood friends, and some were clueless, most were amatuers, and a few were actual gynecologists. Anyways, I now know that if I need to "get rid of crabs", I don't start with a big pot of boiling water and 1/4 cup of Old Bay seasoning. Thanks to Wegg for the pointer.

I love playing Slingshot Santa. From the Llama Butchers.

Michele did some photo live-blogging from the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade balloon prep site. Very cool pictures (scroll down to see 'em all).

Bou is blogging MRE's, military vernacular for "Meals, Ready to Eat". I had a few of the early versions, and dined on quite a few of their predecessor, the venerable C-Rats (rations). There's something about chowing down a can of sliced peaches with a date on it older than you are. So head on over and see what she and her two young boys think of "army food".

I'm not a big college football fan, but the history and trivia lover in me has really been enjoying Prochein Amy's weekly Texas Football posts. She talks about each Texas opponent and includes background information and plenty of stories and links about their traditions. Very cool.

Paul, of the defunct Sanity's Edge, had moved in with Shank, resident genius over at Id's Cage. Now, they've both joined forces with Jim and are now posting at Snooze Button Dreams.

Also, since I'm bringing back old crap, have a Rocket Jones recycled post from August of 2003.

Carnival of the Recipes - 66th Edition

It’s a small world. Thanks to modern travel and communications, it’s getting smaller all the time. It’s a small, small world. It should surprise no one, then, that these Carnivals are wonderfully international. We see recipes that have grams and dashes, millies and rashers, and it just seemed to me that there was only one way to truly celebrate the international flavor of the Carnival of the Recipes, because it's a small world after all.

Babelfish.

I can hear the collective sigh of relief, because at least some of you were thinking it was gonna be... that other one (yeah, I know it was rather too obvious. Work with me here).

So amigo, instead of getting that obnoxiously addictive song stuck in your head (too late?), what you need to do is to grab that fish out of it’s bowl (and here you thought it was just a goldfish), hold it up to your ear, and read on.

But mon ami (I can hear you asking), what if I have no fish handy? I’ve heard - but have no idea if it’s true or not and amazingly enough Snopes doesn’t say - that if you don’t have a babelfish handy, you can use a frozen fishstick instead. The obvious limitations are that it’ll only work for Scandanavian languages and you’ll look rather silly with a fishstick sticking out of your head. Or not. Who am I to judge?

Yep, I put the babble in Babelfish. And so, without further adieu (oooo, he’s a multilingual defiler of language!), I present this 66th edition of the Carnival of the Recipes, complete with snippets translated into various languages and then translated back.

Thanksgiving Goodies

It's not surprising that there were several Thanksgiving related submissions this time around.

First up is an interesting recipe for brining turkey from Sun Comprehending Glass. Let's see what the babelfish says:

My low and slow peoples are basters; they form throughout the year marvelously from Peru after the year. Low slow and lots of the result in 10 hours to terminate to a bird. With however salt, leave the cook, who the time is not shortened, because none is requested, heat aways even the furnace to run.

Now how can you argue with that?

Blog o'RAM offers up a bit of zingbird, via Salsafied Turkey and Jalepeno Cornbread.

From Ziggarat of Doom, check out Awesome Turkey which is another variation on the theme, this time using a rub with olive oil and braised in a roasting bag.

Checking in with the fish:

It is a income of ordeal and a new idea, thus they are real the final publication of this for with. The band of friction is little different, marks the lack of sage for example. Moreover, I have fallen in the bags for the turkey. The oil of olive makes precisely as the order a work that the butter for crisping ascendant the skin, and I like the aromatic substance more. Big pinchments and small pinchments they are a entire grass, usually for big make, you go there and [unintelligeble] the money in the fresh grasses.

Of course, you could follow the link above and see the original directions, but I'm a road less travelled kinda guy.

The Clog Almanac shares this side dish: Asparagus and Wild Rice Pilaf. It's on my to-try list.

Here's a repost from last year about a variety of Thanksgiving recipes, wine recommendations and more. Good stuff from The Glittering Eye.

Next up, we get a trio from Booklore: Thanksgiving Appetizers, Ambrosia Salad , and Perfect Cranberry Sauce.

Growing up in California, we just called Ambrosia fruit salad, and we were living large if Mom tossed mini-marshmallows into the mix.

Here's a quick and Easy Orange Survival Glaze for ham or turkey, from The Pragmatic Chef.

Non-Holiday Goodies and Yummies

(although there's nothing that says these wouldn't be wonderful then too)

From One Happy Dog Speaks, we get a twofer, Yeast Rolls and Cinnamon Rolls, from the same basic recipe. As an added bonus, there's a nifty hot-doggy variation in the comments. Yay Hats!

Whoa, that was totally random.

Cornbread. If you love it, there's no need to say more. If you don't, then you'll never understand. Two varieties, courtesy of the Pajama Pundits.

From Leslie's Ombibus, we're treated to Oxtail Soup. Mmmmmm, soup.

Two, two! Chicken and Sausage Gumbos! One easy-peasy, one a little more involved, thanks to Everything and Nothing.

This is the definition of comfort food.
Salisbury Steak, and One for the Road shows us how to do it the easy way.

Babelfish chimes in with:

Simmer related to meanly excessive heat 35-45 minutes until the sausse was not thickend and the tortini were cooked through.

For the more gentle cooks, follow the original directions. You gangsta peeps can use the meanly excessive way.

Risoto with Arugula, Sun-Dried Tomatoes and Cheeses. Doesn't that sound great, in a completely "I'm so sick of turkey" kinda way? Thank Cooking Capers for this one.

My Favorite Mushrooms. Apparently there's a problem with Oasis of Sanity this week, because I kept getting 404 errors while trying to access this. I mention it here to tempt you and tease you and make you come back next week like Pavlov's dogs, hoping for a working link.

ArmyWifeToddlerMom presents Another Pretty Salad. She notes that this versatile salad looks great on the holiday table, so I could have included it up top with the Thanksgiving dishes. But to me, this says "summertime dinner" too, so I put it here instead.

Chicken Paprikas is comfort food with a nice little twist, and like most soups and stews, it gets better if you make it a day or two in advance. Seriously Good shares this one, and it looks seriously good.

Elisson checks in with Beef Stew with a Difference, aka Beef Rendang. This is for those who like a little curry heat with their moo. Because I'm a thoughtful guy, I won't even mention the groaner he tosses in at the end of his post (oops, guess I just did).

From Special Fried Rice, we're treated to a recipe for one, namely Low-fat Chicken and Broccoli Alfredo.

Even the fish likes it:

The part of my process to learn of new good eating habits implies to try to calculate outside in a way to eat the foods that taste without the problems has associates to they. A fat version is weak here. Taste sauce Alfredo! This perfect age, densely and that he is rich.

From down south, no, farther south... waaaay south. Not that far south. Leave the penguins alone, they'll eat your babelfish. I talking about Kiwi south, specifically KeeWee's Corner, where we get a nice recipe for Tacos in Pasta Shells. Sounds good to me, I'm a Mexican food fanatic.

S.O.S. is its very own food group, although some would dispute using the word "food" in that sentence. Fill'er Up, Hon? shows you how to do it right, and when it's done right, it's wonderful.

From my good friend Tuning Spork, we get Baked Apple Sauce. He originally called it Twice-Baked Apples, so don't let the post title fool you. With his link, he adds the following advice:

Just remind people to go easy on the spices as they prepare the sauce -- tasting it for good balance. It's easy to go overboard!

This one... Mmmmmmmmmmmmm. Chicken Torte Milanese with Tomato Basil Sauce. Thank you ApparatChick.

From TechnoGypsy, we get Lamb Shanks, because you can't roast the shanks or they'll burn (I didn't know that).

Now if you need something vegetarianish, I highly recommend this Three Sisters Stew. From Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax, who always has interesting recipes to share, and the background stories to go with them.

Babelfish snippet:

The research revealed far more the auxiliary advantages of this "companion, it planted." the bacteria colonies in the roots of the bean take prisoner the nitrogen of air, something from which it in the soil are inserted, in order to feed the high needs of the nitrogen of corn.

Doesn't that sound so very German? All that research and scientifical talk and taking prisoners and stuff. Check out the original, just trust me on this one.

Courtesy of SilverBlue, we get this delicious sounding Spinach Stuffed Chicken. The best part is, by this time next week you'll all be saying, "hey, it's not turkey! Yay!"

Tuna and Caper Pasta, from FrazzledDad. It's all in the quality of the ingredients.

Blogeline's Journal offers up this heavenly-sounding Guinness Beef or Venison Stew. I'll be trying a pot of this in the near future.

Over at The Common Room, there's a sweet post full of ideas on being frugal in the kitchen and incorporates several recipes as well. Among them is Stir Fried Sweet Potatoes. Check this one out.

From Third World County, this simple classic: Black Beans and Rice.

Russian translation:

Wash and sort beans. I usually make this with the large tank and the grid. Beans in the grid, the water in the tank. Beans of water pipe surplus. You can develop mechanics.

They invented beans, you know.

Yummy prawny limey recipe (can be done with chicken). Gotta love a recipe with a name like that! Might as well break out the tequila since you already have all those limes sitting around being lazy. Thanks to Aussie Wife for this one.

Desserts

Not just Rum Cake, but Yummy Rum Cake (as if there's any other kind!). Thanks to In the Headlights for this one.

Slap Your Mama Chocolate Cake is presented by a feisty guest-poster over at Not Exactly Rocket Science (Yay Rockets!). Sinful is a descriptive word that comes to mind.

From Vermont's own A Weight Lifted, have a slice of Maple Pumpkin Pie.

Via Morning Coffee & Afternoon Tea, we get this chocolate yummy: Cocoa Apple Cake. She promises pictures next week, so in the meantime, let's let babelfish paint a picture with words:

Criminy, I missed the chocolate Friday almost. Still. I was, you thus do not employ work and trying to finish with of Thanksgiving, have to me much time to think have.

Ok, so it's a crayon picture. Hang it on the fridge.

Bananas. Bars. Bananas behind bars. There's an odd kind of synergy here, that makes me want to write absolute crap like that take Hollywood by storm. In the meantime, while I wait for them to beat down my door, I'll pass the time by making Best Banana Bars Ever. Thanks to Notes in the Key of Life, because these are going to become a staple in our house. Gotta keep those bananas off the street, you know, before they go bad.

Once again from SilverBlue, he offers up Three Emergency Deserts. I'm not sure about the emergency part, these look good enough to make just because.

Blueberry-Pear Clafouti is a baked pudding, courtesy of Blonde Sagacity. This looks so good, it's also on my "try soon" list.

More excellent goodness from The Glittering Eye, Pumpkin Chiffon Pie.

The above were in no particular order other than being in broad categories. Any implied preferences or rankings are solely in your own imagination and they have drugs now that can help people like you. Or me, for that matter.

One last pass through the babelfish:

All preferences or the implicit places are only in their its fancy and have drugs now that he can help you the people. Or me for this material.

Deep. In more than one way too. Anyway, I hope you go visit all of these people and make their food and share the results with the rest of us. Thanks for stopping by (and y'all are welcome back any time), and thanks to everyone who sends in recipes, who hosts, who keeps things organized, and especially my agent and my family and my...

Sorry. Storming Hollywood and all that.

Next week, the Carnival will be hosted by the Lost Budgie Blog, who will almost certainly not continue this babelfish silliness. Which reminds me, go put your fish back into its bowl, or the freezer, and for pete's sake don't get them mixed up.

Yay Hats!

Found

There's a small resort island in the Philippines called Boracay. They've been voted the "Best Beach in the World". If you ever go, there's a bar there called the Hobbit House. All the waiters and waitresses are midgets. Stop by, have a drink and since you're there, ask for the owner. When you meet him, tell him "Ted says hey".

His name is Paul. He's my best friend.

This seems like an excellent idea

Busy busy, so once again I lift entire:

There is a project underway that will reduce the amount of dependence placed on the government when a natural disaster strikes one of the coastal states (Atlantic, Gulf or Pacific). The projects name is Operation Enduring Service and was created by Beauchamp Tower Corporation.

Posted on phin's blog and cross-posted at Confederate Yankee are calls to press Senators to insert a rider that will allow this to happen. Due to time constraints the legislation required to make this happen is dangerously close to falling by the wayside-in fact it has to pass before Congress ends this Session (less than 14 days).

The project calls for the transfer of decommisioned and obsolete military ships to an established award-winning nonprofit organization that will convert them into powerful and 100% volunteer-funded floating rescue and recovery vessels to assist those in need in the wake of natural and manmade disasters.

Via Operation Enduring Service:

So, you want to see what these old girls will be able to do? Here's a list of only a few things we can provide during a Coastal State disaster (such as flooding or a hurricane)

----Service a disaster area of up to 10,000 square miles (up to 100 miles inland) with minimal (if any) outside support

----Provide complete berthing facilities for up to 400 emergency responders "on scene" at a disaster site

----Fully integrated communications system serving all local, state, and federal agencies, as well as cell phone coverage and military band frequencies--allowing for seamless communications between all disaster scene personnel, no matter what radio frequency or cell phone is being used.

----Daily provide 110 tons of bagged and palletized ice to the disaster region

----Daily generate, bottle, and palletize up to 50,000 gallons of fresh water

----Provide refueling station and loading platform for helicopters operating in the disaster area

----Carry over 7,000 tons of food and supplies for a disaster area

----Store (and provide delivery of) 700,000 gallons of diesel, gasoline, and aviation fuel for use in the disaster area on emergency vehicles and critical needs generators (hospitals, emergency operation centers, etc)

.......and that's just one ship.

They're talking about fielding two ships, not one... a regular "Salvation Navy." We have a chance to make a great deal of difference in future disasters (these ships may be ready for the '06 hurricane season) but we must act now. Think of the number of lives saved and the peace of mind that can be brought, while saving the government and tax payers money.

Any help you can give in the form of summoning your readerships to help press the key senators listed (and their own) would be greatly appreciated.

There it is. I call and/or write my congresscritters fairly often on various matters. This time, it won't be to gripe about something, it'll be to suggest that this needs to be done. You should too, it can make a difference.

Picking at it like a scab

I visited my friend Dave's blog yesterday, and something I read there really bugged me, but I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was. He's Canadian and we disagree on many things. I say that for context, because I'm quite far to the right of Dave, or he's far to the left of me depending on how you look at it. Anyways, this morning while doing drywall (have I mentioned how much I hate doing drywall?), I was turning it over in my mind and I understood what it was about Dave's post that annoyed me so.

He wrote:

Sure the Liberals were corrupt, EVERY government is corrupt as long there are men and women sitting in positions of power. Corruption breeds in backslapping handshaking environments where people get paid 6 digit figures for working 20ish days a year. Deal with it.

Dave, you should never just "Deal with it" when it comes to your government. That kind of milquetoast, bend-me-over-and-please-sir-can-I-have-another attitude is exactly what those ruling bastards are counting on. You, my friend, are a fucking SHEEP, and if I saw you I'd kick you in the balls to remind you that they're there.

If your government screws you over (and by all accounts, they've been screwing you long and hard), then you vote them out. Don't like the opposition? Fine, hold your nose and vote the current party out anyway. Because you never ever reward corruption and theivery by allowing them to remain in power. And if the next government turns out to be as bad, then you vote those assholes out too, and you keep doing your goddamn job as a citizen until someone running for office understands that the people aren't going to put up with "business as usual" and cleans up their collective act.

Being screwed by your friends feels no different than being screwed by the other guys. If you don't recognize that, then you've already given up. You have the ultimate authority in your form of government, yet you're too lazy to use it.

A wise man once said that people get the government they deserve, and Canada is living proof of the accuracy of that. It doesn't have to be that way.

The Wingbeat Project

I saw this over at QandO (busy bee this morning, so I pretty much just lifted Jon's writeup):

The [Wingbeat Project] blog is "designed to help solve society's biggest problems by jumpstarting the generation of good ideas." How it works:

Each month, the Wingbeat Project will announce a new topic or social problem. Visitors will be invited to submit ideas for addressing the social problem, along with a contribution that helps us keep going in our grassroots efforts. At the end of each month, we will choose a winner from the best ideas, and the winner will receive a cash award.

And your good ideas will be publicized. It's a good way to spread your ideas for social change, with, as Wingbeat says, "a bias toward ideas that involve little or no government intervention".

The best way to minimize the demand for more government is to make it irrelevant. Check out Wingbeat and contribute an idea.

Pointing out a problem is a small step towards making it right. If you don't offer solutions, then you're only griping.

That's pronounced "Der-eeque", I'm sure

Hockey Whoopass Jamboree trash talk?

A thousand words, mon ami! A thousand words.

Baaaaaa

Jennifer did it.
Lots of other good folks already did it (and more too that I'm too lazy to link to right now).
So I did too.

WikiBlog.

Putting my inadaquacies out there for all to mock

Over on the right sidebar, a snazzy little meter found courtesy of Dawn. It shows the National Novel Writing Month goal of fifty thousand words, and how many I've actually accomplished so far.

I don't know if I'll reach the magic number or not. My goal is to finish the story.

NaNoWriMo update, as if you care

This isn't going to become a constant and consuming blogging subject. Be relieved or disappointed as you wish.

I'm leaning towards waiting until the story is complete before posting the whole thing all at once. That lets me sneak back and edit the plot without y'all knowing about it ("Luke, I'm your uncle").

Here's my writer's profile for those interested in seeing how many words I've reached, and there's an excerpt there too.

If, IF, I decide to do this again next year, I'll be writing erotica. I figure "in... out... in... out..." oughtta be good for five or six thousand words right off the bat.

Anniversary

Ken and Squip's one-year anniversary podcast is up! Listen to one of the first, and still one of the best podcasts going. Hear me. Hear Cindy talk about me talking about her breasts. And that's not even the best part of the show!

Now, where the heck did we store those champagne glasses?

Bye Skitch

Conductor Skitch Henderson died at age 87.

"When it's right, applause sounds like vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce."

Sounds right to me.

A Spooktacular Edition of the Carnival of Music

By the guys at the Ministry of Minor Perfidy. Check it out, there are tons of interesting links to follow this time around.

Spoilsport

Thanks Margi, via the Llama Butchers.

Make your own here.

Lucky Guy

That's me. I don't know how I got on Derek's good side* but all I do is mention my sucky banner and he whomps up a great one instanter.

Thanks muchly.

*Oh, now I remember. It involved gifts.

Words, water, ice, air

Like the title? How very zen of me.

Yeah, right.

On Saturday I once again travelled into our nation's capitol, destination: The Smithsonian's Hirschhorn Museum. When Dawn and I visited a few weeks ago, it was raining hard all day, so we didn't get to experience one exhibit that sounded cool.

It was called "Words Drawn In Water" (this was the last weekend for it), and it was a walking guided tour while wearing an iPod shuffle and headphones. The audio track told you where to walk and pointed out various things along the way, and also included snatches of music, interviews and ambient sounds as you walked along. But this wasn't a regular guided tour, because there were several surreal moments when unexpected insights and visions were planted in your mind's eye.

Very nice, and I'm bummed that it's over, because I definitely would've loved to have gone again.

Afterwards, I visited the Air & Space Museum, specifically to see SpaceShipOne. I had prepared myself to be underwhelmed, because so often you see something like that and think, "wow, that's smaller than I expected." Not this time though. It was actually quite a bit larger than I thought it would be. It's hanging from the ceiling, between the Spirit of St. Louis and the Bell X-1 (the orange X-plane, I think it's the X-1).

Brandon, over at Down With Pants!, is also going to participate in NaNoWriMo. He's also playing in the Hockey Whoopass Jamboree, and kindly displayed the logo of my beloved Sharks when his Kings came up just short last weekend (what a heartbreaker, but better you than me, bucko!).

Words. Check.
Water. Check.
Ice. Check.
Air. Check.

Bye bye.

NaNoWriMo

National Novel Writing Month.

I know of two friends who're going for it (and/or the variation thereof), and I've been poking the idea with a stick. It hasn't jumped up and bit me yet, but it's not fully awakened yet either. We shall see.

How many times have I told you not to leave your clothes lying all over the ceiling?

Wegglywoo has a fun look at beach bathing boxes, down under.

ePumpkins

Carve your own virtual pumpkin here.

Here's mine (click for big, scary jump-out-at-you size):

Thanks to The Ministry of Minor Perfidy for the pointer.

Friends, Romans, Countrymen

I took the "Which Historical General Are You" test, found over at Naked Villainy.

Results in the extended entry.

Julius Caesar You scored 59 Wisdom, 81 Tactics, 56 Guts, and 54 Ruthlessness!

Roman military and political leader. He was instrumental in the transformation of the Roman Republic into the Roman Empire. His conquest of Gallia Comata extended the Roman world all the way to the Atlantic Ocean, introducing Roman influence into what has become modern France, an accomplishment of which direct consequences are visible to this day. In 55 BC Caesar launched the first Roman invasion of Britain. Caesar fought and won a civil war which left him undisputed master of the Roman world, and began extensive reforms of Roman society and government. He was proclaimed dictator for life, and heavily centralized the already faltering government of the weak Republic. Caesar's friend Marcus Brutus conspired with others to assassinate Caesar in hopes of saving the Republic. The dramatic assassination on the Ides of March was the catalyst for a second set of civil wars, which marked the end of the Roman Republic and the beginning of the Roman Empire under Caesar's grand-nephew and adopted son Octavian, later known as Caesar Augustus. Caesar's military campaigns are known in detail from his own written Commentaries (Commentarii), and many details of his life are recorded by later historians such as Suetonius, Plutarch, and Cassius Dio.

Repost From Last May

We Walk the Levee.

You know you want one

T-Shirt.

From Buckethead, at the Ministry of Minor Perfidy.

Knitted Tits

This page gives directions on how to knit a replacement breast for women who've undergone a mastectomy.

What a beautiful idea! Thanks to Rachel Ann for the pointer.

pssst... it's a mystery

This is kind of a non-linking linking thing, but if you go over to the right sidebar and scroll down (or do the search thing... not the box, the cntl-F search), look for Two Nervous Dogs and click on it.

Behold one of the funniest, most original and creative people I've never met but wish I could someday.

Blogmeet Pictures

John posted pictures taken at last weekend's get together.

Early preparation is the key to successful gardening

Robbo the Llamabutcher has spent considerable time defending the ol' homestead from deer and rabbits. The cute, cuddly and innocent woodland creatures believe that a beautifully maintained flower garden means "salad bar". You can try to scare them away, you can put up fences or many other time-tested methods that don't work all that well, because when Bambi and Thumper get hungry your garden looks a helluva lot more appetizing than Mother Nature's ordinary fare.

Being a fellow gardener (although I don't share the wildlife problem), I was inspired the other night while watching an old movie on TV. So Rob, here's what you do...

First, build a sandbagged bunker atop one corner of your roof, near the trouble spot in the garden.

Next, hire George Takei. I can't imagine that he's not available, and it'll be a nice change for him to dress up in cammo fatigues rather than that threadbare Star Trek uniform.

You'll need to do some secret prep work, probably at night so that your neighbors and the animals don't know exactly what your defenses are.

When the time comes next Spring, be in the bunker with George. And when you spot Bambi and friends dropping by for a midnight gnosh, George will smile at you inscrutably and say, "I was prepared for that". Then he pushes a button on a small box in front of you and FWOOM!!!! Bambi, Thumper, and the rest of the critters are incinerated by carefully laid out trenches full of foo gas.

Remember, the key to successful defense is overlapping layers and depth, so you should be prepared for a second, third, or even fourth wave of mixed-grill on the hoof.

I wondered about the authenticity aspects, and decided that you should probably forego blowing up the little dog with a mortar. To make up for it though, you could wait for the inevitable visit from PETA, and then snare one and fling him into a wall of punji stakes. That would probably persuade them to leave and might even cause the local police to look upon the agressive but justified defense of your personal property in a more lenient light.

Let me know how it goes.

An Excellent Evening

Last night, I had the extreme pleasure of meeting several local - and one very not-local - bloggers for dinner in Olde Towne Alexandria. John Lanius of Texas Best Grok got the ball rolling a couple of weeks ago via email, because he would be in town on business, and was wondering if it would be possible to set up a blogmeet.

Besides John, those in attendance included Cat of A Swift Kick and a Bandaid, her blogless friend Matt, Dawn of Caterwauling, Lysander (who is alive and kicking, despite the evidence at his blog), Robert the Llamabutcher, Naked Villainy's Maximum Leader, and Buckethead of The Ministry of Minor Perfidy. Oh, and yours truly.

As usual, it was like getting together with old friends even if most of us had never met each other. The food was good (mine was, I don't recall hearing anyone else mentioning it), and the conversation excellent. Topics ranged from the history of communism to TShirt Hell, and just about anything and everything in between. Four and a half hours later, we settled up and on the way out the conversations continued on the sidewalk out front.

For the locals, Nic has suggested a get-together for a Washington Capitals hockey game one evening. I'm up for that!

This is not my story

If it were, I'm not sure I would tell it.

“I was driving my wife’s car the other day and saw a little round thing in the cupholder, thought it was a cigarrette lighter. I looked at it, it had a little handle you turn and push down so I thought, yeah, it’s a lighter, I wonder what the wife is doing with this- she don’t smoke. So I pushed the button down to see if it still worked and maced myself. It weren’t any damned fun, I’ll tell you that.�

Thanks to Random Nuclear Strikes for the pointer.

Everything's better with a redhead

Derek is a mad genius.

(click to add bacon, Dave would've wanted it that way)

Something to look at

Check out these beautiful galleries of photographs taken by Amy's anti-Mother-in-Law (must be a Krypton thing).

Ok, this is really mean

I'm sorry, but I laughed so hard at this. Warning: animal lovers or people without a sense of humor should NOT click that link.

Thanks to the Llama Butchers for the link.

Oddses and Endses

It's all in the details.

With all the rain we've been having the past two days (measured in inches), our basement is flooding a little bit. So I've been doing the towels on the floor, spin and dry, sop up the excess from the carpet with the cleaner, etc. That's the hassle part of it. The benefit side is that the creeks around us are all full to bursting, and when I went to let the dogs out this morning, you can hear the water rushing in the background. Very nice.

The Carnival of the Recipes is up over at the Glittering Eye. There are the usual collection of outstanding dishes for every taste, contributed by people from all over the world. Go check it out.

Last week I was in the back upstairs bedroom (3rd floor of our townhouse), painting near the window, when I was startled by a flash just outside the glass. I witnessed a magnificent little aerial battle as a large blackbird was chased off by one of our local hawks. They were like two nimble fighter jets, wings extended, banking and darting as the blackbird tried to shake the hawk from his tail. The hawk was close enough that, had he wanted, he could have snatched a tail feather from the blackbird with his talons. They fell two stories and, at the last second the blackbird broke hard left, over the back fence and out of the area. The hawk leveled out and glided across the back meadow to the wood, where he perched in a tall tree and stayed for a while, as if surveying for further intruders.

When I got home last night I checked on the hockey scores and noted that Brian's St. Louis Blues were in the process of whooping on my beloved Sharks. This morning I inteded to go find a Blues logo to post here, in accordance with the prophesy the rules of the Whoopass Jamboree, when lo and behold, I discovered that the Sharks had come back to win. Brian is a better sport about it than I, because I'd probably have to create an extended entry to protect innocent eyes from my cursing and ranting.

In related news, Victor beat me in the first week matchup of our blogger fantasy hockey league. I'm completely lost as to how this league works and what the rules are, it's unlike anything I've ever seen before. Not an excuse, just sayin'. Congrats Victor, let's hope Bondra can keep it up, eh?

Finally, yesterday I had the pleasure of spending the day walking through several Smithsonian art museums with Dawn. We started at the Hirschhorn, and afterwards (like Victor mentioned) walked down the street in the pouring rain to see the Freer and Sackler galleries. Memorable.

I want to go again in better weather, to experience Directions - Janet Cardiff.

We now return you to your regular Rocket Jones program of cheesecake pinups and zombies.

Finally getting around to it

From John at TexasBestGrok (who's blog turned 2 the other day - yay!):

Context: Insects are specialists (drone, workers, queens, etc), where humans are generalists.

The original Heinlein:

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

Items I've done are in bold, notes and explanations follow.

* Change a diaper - cloth for the first child, disposable for the third, a mix for the middle kid.
* Plan an invasion - in real life a security exercise designed to steal nuclear weapons, on a gameboard for entire continents and galaxies.
* Butcher a hog - deer, pheasant and fish.
* Conn a ship - my Uncle's sailboat, which he sometimes sailed to Hawaii.
* Design a building - the largest that ever made it past the paper stage was a shed.
* Write a sonnet - I've written some pretty bad poetry, but no sonnets of any quality
* Balance accounts - enough to get by.
* Build a wall - wood, brick, and maybe stone next summer.
* Set a bone - a friend's broken finger, although I never want to have to do it again.
* Comfort the dying - I've been fortunate in my life.
* Take orders - thirteen years in the Air Force.
* Give orders - ditto.
* Cooperate
* Act alone
* Solve equations - it's not math... it's not math...
* Analyze a new problem - welcome to computer programming
* Pitch manure - and hay and ground oats (?), family with dairy farms
* Program a computer - my job.
* Cook a tasty meal - check.
* Fight efficiently - fight? yeah. won? yeah. lost? oh yeah.
* Die gallantly - more than once in a simulated fashion while doing security exercises for the Strategic Air Command.

Hey, that's more than I expected!

eBooks

All kinds of eBook related news, information and links at TeleRead.

It ain't the Supreme Court, but it's still an honor

I've been promoted to "crony" over at the Ministry of Minor Perfidy!

If you don't regularly read these guys, then you're not getting your minimum requirement of evil robot overlords, all things yeasty and the occasional neener-neener from a snotty Canadian.

Meanwhile, in my fantasies... (updated)

Sports, that is.

Our baseball season is over. I wound up a respectable 5th out of 10 teams, and was fighting for 4th throughout the last month or so. (update: I did finish in 4th place in the final standings) Many thanks to annika for being the commish for this league, I had a blast. Congrats to Hank's Homeys for running away with the pennant.

Meanwhile, over at the stadium, I inexplicably won again thanks to some truly uninspired play by my opponents roster. By all rights, he should've stomped me. I'm not loving this league, because the scoring emphasis seems to be on touchdowns, which make your wide recievers the primary weapons. Running backs and quarterbacks are a very small part of the equation that I'm seeing so far. It's still fun, but I preferred last year's setup, where total yardage and number of receptions and other stats factored in.

You still have the chance to sign up for the fantasy hockey league. You don't have to obsess, peoples, it's for fun!

Happy Birthday, Dad

It was a good day yesterday.

Called my Dad, he's 73 now. He sold his house and moved in with his girlfriend. Bought a brand new fully loaded minivan too, he does that every few years.

On the home front, Liz reupholstered a footstool while I installed a new computerized thermostat for the house. We also did some patching and painting in the soon-to-be sewing room.

Yep, a boring and pointless post. Welcome to Rocket Jones.

Modern Podcasting Magazine

Look who's on the cover of the inaugural issue!

Blue and Rocket Jones get a mention too.

What's that? You ask, "what's 'podcasting'?" Oh, ye stone-tool-using throwback, you might call podcasting "audio blogging". Download shows (follow the links above and there are more links here) to your mp3 player and join the 21st century.

Air Force Blue - the other side

I've written about some of my adventures while in the Air Force, many while serving as a Security Policeman. While I tend to share the lighter moments, it's never far from your mind that things can become serious and deadly in a split second. That's the nature of the job.

Airman 1st Class Elizabeth Jacobson, 21, was providing convoy security Sept. 28 near Camp Bucca, Iraq, when the vehicle she was riding in was hit by an improvised explosive device. She is the first female Airman killed in the line of duty in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom.

Please, follow this link and leave words of encouragement for those she left behind in the comments section.

Laugh out loud funny

Stolen entire from The Ministry of Minor Perfidy:

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: “Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed.�
“OH NO!� the President exclaims. “That’s terrible!�
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.
Finally, the President looks up and asks, “How many is a brazillion?�

Thanks Johno, I needed that!

Did someone say juvenile? I am so there!

I can't even claim that it started innocently:

Ted,

How about playing a round of "How Many Beers?" for the blog?

You know the drill, how many beers to bang the broads on the list. If you decline, we'll ridicule you. I'm just kidding, I totally understand if you want to bow out. Our type of humor is somewhat...juvenile.

Here's the list:

So yeah, I played. Click here if you want to see the list of ladies I was presented with and my answers. Jennifer played, and sparked tons of comments on her round o' potentials. Why not make me feel as loved?

Kalimba

I was jamming some Earth, Wind & Fire the other day when the Kalimba Song came on. I've always loved the sound of the kalimba, and a quick google search turned up these instructions on building your own two-octive kalimba (rather inexpensively). I just might have to give this a go.

I'd rather get sweaty with Richard Simmons

You must check out these actual Weight Watchers Recipe Cards from 1974. The accompanying commentary is priceless:

Once upon a time the world was young and the words "mackerel" and "pudding" existed far, far away from one another.

One day, that all changed. And then, whoever was responsible somehow thought the word "fluffy" would help.

Oh, and eggs, too.

Major kudos to Sheila for the pointer.

There's painful, and then there's painful

I am, of course, referring to baseball's pennant race in the National League West. You know, the division where the San Diego Padres stink on ice, which is only marginally better than the rest of the division, which just stinks. In fact, if this season's putrid San Francisco Giants squad sweeps their four game series with the Padres, they'll win the division.

Grant, of The McCovey Chronicles, describes it thusly:

In the `80s movie version of the 2005 NL West, the climax comes with a muscle-bound villain -- Dolph Lundgren? -- laying his opponent to waste, and leaving him for dead. Slowly, the Terminator-like beast rises from the ashes, and it starts lumbering after Dolph, who grits his teeth and mutters, "Why won't you just die?"

No, no, let's just switch this around. Instead of Dolph Lundgren and Arnold Schwarzenegger...let's see Ben Stein and Steve Buscemi. In fact, let's forget the penultimate fighting scene, and just make the last 15 minutes of the movie a single camera shot of two 90-year old people making love. One of them is going to finish first, but no one really wins.

It's sad. It's ugly. It's my beloved Giants. I'm not sure I'd want this to happen. I'm not like a Cubs fan, who perpetually believes that the ballclub will magically transform itself into a powerhouse just by being the least pathetic team in the division race. The winning team will still be tragically bad, and they'll get to display that wretchedness for a few games longer, instead of going home, licking wounds, and beating their heads against the wall in an attempt at self-inflicted amnesia.

Then again, you never know. Go Giants!

I knew I was in trouble...

In this week's fantasy football matchup, I was behind in points with one game left to go, the Monday night matchup between the Chiefs and Broncos. I have tight end Tony Gonzales on my team, one of the best in the game. All I needed was a typical Tony-sized game, and I could squeak my way to victory.

Yeah right. I'm an Oakland Raiders fan, and there isn't any way that a Chiefs player is going to do me any favors. In fact, my phone rang at halftime:

Me: Hello?

Voice: Hi Ted. This is Tony Gonzales.

Me: What the hell are you doing out there? You're killing me, man.

Voice: I dropped those passes on purpose dude. You know, Chiefs rule, Raiders drool. *click*

Chiefs and Broncos... sheesh. I used to say that during games like that I'd be rooting for a sniper in the stands, but thanks to that idiot Malvo it ain't funny any more.

So anyways, all hail Brendoman, who whooped me this week. Good game, guy.

Another Chance to Help

Victor is riding in the Lance Armstrong Tour of Hope for cancer research.

We've had multiple opportunities to contribute to worthy causes lately, but if you'd like to make a donation to help him meet his goal, here's his page.

New Munuvians

I still maintain my sidebar links by hand, so it doesn't get updated as often as it should.

Stop by and say hello to:

• Trey Givens
• Steal the Bandwagon
• The Cotillion
• Wonderduck's Pond
• A Sailor In The Desert
• American Dinosaur
• The Steiner Aid
• The Colossus of Rhodey
• Not A Desparate Housewife
• Ex-Donkey Blog
• Prochein Amy
• Outnumbered, Outgunned
• Voluntary Redneck
• The American Princess
• Sompopo's Revenge
• Geek Empire
• Southpark Republicans
• Tilesey

The cool kids just got a little bit cooler.

Lazy Sunday?

Not around here, but I've already wasted too much time on this virtual Lite-Brite. I always wanted one as a kid, but never managed to talk my parents into it. When we moved into this house, I finally understood why. We found those little plastic pegs in the oddest places for years afterwards.

Thanks to Camp HappyBadFun for the pointer.

Helping Hand

Blame Bou, or maybe I'm just a helpful kind of guy, but vw bug of One Happy Dog Speaks will soon, with your participation, enjoy increased hits on her site from people who Google "plugging butts".

Go ahead, click and link, it's not dirty. Honest. Do it because everyone should be #1 for something on Google.

City folks have to find an upstairs window

I've dreamed of doing this. I'm sure we all have.

Thanks to Dustbury for making my day.

New New Math

Specifically, a new way to do Trig.

Mathematics students have cause to celebrate. A University of New South Wales academic, Dr Norman Wildberger, has rewritten the arcane rules of trigonometry and eliminated sines, cosines and tangents from the trigonometric toolkit.

His book explaining the method is called Divine Proportions: Rational Trigonometry to Universal Geometry (not available at Amazon, yet).

Dr Wildberger has replaced traditional ideas of angles and distance with new concepts called "spread" and "quadrance".

These new concepts mean that trigonometric problems can be done with algebra," says Wildberger, an associate professor of mathematics at UNSW.

"Rational trigonometry replaces sines, cosines, tangents and a host of other trigonometric functions with elementary arithmetic."

This could revolutionize mathematics who knows where it could lead? Sometimes all that's needed is to look at something from a different vantage point to make exciting things happen.

Thanks to Transterrestrial Musings for the pointer.

Only because I have to

According to the rules of our Blogger Bowl fantasy football league, we're supposed to "talk smack". Being the quiet and nonconfrontational sort, I'm hesitant to do so, but since I beat one of last season's powerhouses this week, and since I outscored him despite the fact that my QB earned negative points for me, and since my final player doesn't even get counted until tonight's games, I'll do my best.

Dear Nick, You are my bitch. On toast.

Ted

My, that was fun!

Like a caption contest on steroids

Derek of Son of Cheese has a new bit o' whimsy for all to play, called OMGWTFLOLLOL. He's posted a blank comic, and you supply the words!

My idea was to leave the balloons blank, because the characters are all mimes. I'm sure you can do better.

Big Lizards

Dafydd ab Hugh (how the heck is that pronounced?) has started his own blog, Big Lizards.

I first saw him guest posting at Captain's Quarters, and recognized the name from several Star Trek novels and other SciFi works he's written. Good read whether you agree with him or not, because he's always interesting and thought provoking.

Ear Candy

Podcasts I've recently listened to:

Ken & Squip Show - new!
Fred Garvin Male Prostitute and the Reverend Demize - funny stuff
Soccergirl Incorporated - something on her site freezes my PC, but I'm usually able to download at least one episode before crashing
Bleacher Guy Radio - sports, co-hosted by Off-Wing Opinion's Eric McErlain
Shire Network News - from the boys at Silent Running

Notice who's missing?

Blue's Simian Syndicate hasn't put anything new up for a while, but he's directly involved with the Katrina effort at work, so you can't fault him for having his priorities straight

Me love you long time, slave

Thanks to Chris Hall for the pointer, (Buckethead, this is right up your alley).

NRA probes Japanese sex android. I like how they try to make this evil machine sound cute and innocent by calling her it a "cyberminx".

This is scary as hell. I'm heading to the drugstore right now, because when the real invasion begins, and folks realize just how deadly sex with a robot will be, there will be a run on KY, rubbers, and cheap wine. I'm stocking up now.

Adjust your survival kit inventories accordingly.

Culinary Magic

Carnival of the Recipes, hosted this week by Trub, a beer brewer. Get some terrific ideas for this weekend.

No pirates, but water is involved

The fixture in our bath/shower was ancient, and badly needed replacing. In addition, we'd developed a leak somewhere in the vicinity, so I went looking for a plumber.

The first place I called for an estimate informed me that they didn't do in-person estimates any more because of gas prices. I described the work to be done in detail, and their estimate consisted of telling me that they'd do the work for $150.00 an hour. Buh-bye.

Next on the list are the folks who installed our new air conditioner a couple of years ago. Good work and I trust them. They offered to have the guy come out, give a "job estimate" (instead of by the hour), for $75.00 and then if I was ok with the price he'd do the work right then, and the $75.00 would go towards the bill. I finally did decide on them, and yesterday was the day.

I can do basic, mechanical plumbing, but this job had the potential to become really ugly in a hurry, so I wanted a pro. He came in, heard my description, looked at things and gave a reasonable price. Not as good as I'd hoped, better than I was expecting, and within 10% of what I'd told Liz I thought it would cost.

While he was putting in the fixture, I was downstairs removing the ceiling in our living room coat closet, because it's right under the bath and the water had been dripping down. He looked around from underneath and did his plumbing magic and two hours later it was done.

Kinda. Now I have to retile the tub, or put in a shower enclosure, and if I'm going to do that then I might as well replace the bathtub, which means I should swap out the toilet so it matches, and the wall sink could be replaced with the pedistal kind, and since I'm going to all that trouble a new medicine cabinet would be nice, which means new electrical outlets and lighting fixtures, and I should go ahead and replace the ancient vent fan with a quiet new one...

Oh yeah, I've just started emptying my wallet on this one.

Still wiping tears from my eyes

Truth or Dare in Middle Earth

Rodger owes me a keyboard.

"Bodacious Muchachas"

An article with the background story about an exhibit called "Mexotica" consisting of incredibly rare color pinup photos taken in Mexico in the 1950's.

Link provided by the same group that located the Spider Pool (my original posts here and here).

These links not safe for work.

Darn

Michael King of Rambling's Journal is signing off.

Best of luck guy, I'm gonna miss my daily visit.

September 17th is US Constitution Day

This nifty site from the US Department of State contains translations of the US Constitution into Arabic, French, German, Italian, Japanese, Korean, Portuguese, Russian, Spanish and simplified Chinese.

Educate a foreigner, it makes a nice change of pace from bombing, exploiting, killing, invading, occupying or oppressing them.

Seriously though, there are also links to historical discussions and versions of the document, including images of George Washington's printed copy with notes he made in the margins, and their page of reference links is absolutely amazing.

A nitwit is a nitwit is a nitwit

The 20 Most Obnoxious Quotes About Hurricane Katrina.

Thanks to QandO for the pointer.

Yay!

Comment number 5,400 was left by Tuning Spork. No great prize to hand out this time, amigo, just my thanks to you and everyone else who's helped make Rocket Jones a fun little corner of the net.

And you thought gas prices were a ripoff

My friend Rich (owner of Verticle Force Rocketry), starts a nice little rant about that most expensive of fluids that we all use every day. No, not gas. Not coffee and not even blood. Something seemingly much more valuable...

...one name brand ink cartridge I looked at contained 19ml of ink for $35.

1ml = ~0.033814 U.S. ounces. So for $35 you're getting ~0.642 ounces of ink. That's $1.84 per milliliter or about $54.48 per ounce. Or consider the high price of gas today versus $6,973.12 9/10 per gallon for printer ink.

Rich also gives the word on "Box-wrap patent infringement", which is a new one to me. I'm pretty much a free market capitalist, but this kind of crap really gives ammunition to the "corporations are evil" nuts.

Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

A few odds and ends that I wanted to mention.

I fully expect to be undefeated after the first week of our Blogger Bowl Fantasy Football League, unless Philly kicker Akers manages fourteen field goals tonight. My team doesn't look very strong, but it was enough to whup the Houston Hot Pants all over the field.

In related news, I didn't activate the Rocket Jones Hot Jets Cheerleaders this season, but I did buy some rocket motors on Sunday for the Hot Jets rocket.

I'm very late with this announcement, but the latest edition of the Carnival of the Recipes is up, hosted by Munuviana's own Jordana. Check it out, you won't be sorry.

Three changes to the blogroll: Dawn has moved back to Caterwauling, adjust your links accordingly (you probably already have, I'm just sluggy-slow and am finally getting around to it). Secondly, Blue now has a blog and you can find him at Partial to Grey. He even spells "grey" right. Thirdly, I've added Samantha Burns to the sidebar. She's Canadian and she's interesting. Drop in and tell her that Rocket Jones sent you.

Heh. Akers just missed a field goal.

I think he forgot to count the seven in the secret cabal

Over at the Ministry of Minor Perfidy, GeekLethal crunches some numbers and sums it all up like this:

The subjegation of the entire Muslim world by Israel would, in a demographic sense, be like Massachusetts enslaving all of China.

There's not enough tinfoil in the world.

Geek is chic?

Why bother with a personals ad, when you could just be mentioned in the NY Daily News? That's what happened to blogger CGHill of Dustbury. From the article:

...more women are discovering the allure of brainy men who admit they're more experienced at computer games than the game of love.

I'd like to let the ladies know that in school, I was the kid that the geeks beat up for lunch money so they could go to Radio Shack. I expect that I shall now be inundated in the lovelies, oh yeah.

Waterlogged

Now that the blamegasm over Katrina seems to be over, it's time to move on, blog-wise. To be sure, there will still be finger pointing and stupid quotes (or more correctly, quotes from stupid people), but the relief effort is in high gear now. I'd like to mention a last few items and then I'm probably done with it.

Susie's family is safe! Yay!!!

Bitterman lived on the gulf coast for a while, and found an arial photo of what's left of his old neighborhood. Here's something I hadn't heard before:

Initially when the storm surge came in, he had thought all was well, but the wind packed it up so tightly, it began entering the storm sewer pipe outlets at beach level and flowing uphill to his neighborhood some 35 or so feet above the beach.

Yikes! Fortunately, everyone is safe.

Victor has a list of undeliverable postal zip codes. Check with your local post office, because the list will be shrinking as the relief continues.

Finally, everyone should be shocked at how quickly law and order broke down in New Orleans (I haven't heard about problems anywhere else... but the media has been hyper-focused on NO, so who knows), and I'm reminded that the primary and ultimate responsibility for you and your family's safety is you. Please go back and read the "For Ourselves, By Ourselves" series over at Random Nuclear Strikes. It's not a one-size-fits-all, but he discusses points that you might never think of. He also links to an excellent article titled "Disaster Guns". Personally, I've brought up the subject of household arms again, and specifically told the girls that they will be learning to use a handgun as a minimum. Even Mookie, who was the most opposed when I last brought it up, realizes now that there's some wisdom in that.

Do Re Me Fa So Cool

So simple, even Banjo Boy could figure it out.

Printable blank sheet music. All kinds of options, all for free.

Kudos to Heather at Angelweave for pointing this one out.

United We Stand (except for you, you don't think like me)

From Hold the Mayo (who turned two this week, yay!), who first saw the link to this at Zoe Brain's place:

So why was I thinking of starting a movement against giving aid to the stricken areas?

Because these are red states. They voted for Bush. These ninnies obviously wanted these policies, and they deserve to live with the consequences of their votes.

A large part of me still believes that many of these W-worshipping numbskulls deserve to suffer and to die. They brought it on themselves. Let them look to Jayzuss for aid: It's time they stopped leeching off the more productive blue staters.

(Californians stupidly give much more to the federal government than we receive from it; the money flows in a very different direction in the red states.)

So, at least, I started to write. But then (to paraphrase the old song) I thought I'd better think it out again.

Many of the victims, the ones who have suffered the most, are poor. The hardest hit were the blue state folk living among the red state maniacs. New Orleans, we should note, went heavily for Kerry.

And that's why we must help. Although it was very tempting to say otherwise.

I want to make this clear. Zoe Brain found this and linked to it, she didn't write it herself. If you want the link to where it was spotted, click on through up above.

Yet momma wanted me to be a Priest

Over at Owlish Mutterings, he linked to this "Job Predictor".

According to this, Rocket Jones' ideal job is trained assassin. Cool.

And when I type in my real name (Ted Phipps), it says I should become a pirate.

You should start being nicer to me.

Let's see... full name (Robert T Phipps)... Yeehaw! My ideal job is a lottery winner - no need to work !

I like this game.

Hot Wax

Our local classical music station has a nice little piece every morning that runs down the minutia of the day such as sunrise, sunset, moon phase, as well as a little bit about the day in history.

This morning the host mentioned a wax cylinder recording made in 1895 of the "Poets and Peasants Overture", done by Baldwin's Cadet Band of Boston. Follow this link to see today's show notes, and if you scroll down you can click the victrola to hear an audio of the original recording.

Helping out

It's Hurricane Relief Day around the blogosphere, and MuNu's very own Michele is pitching in. Go check out the items she's got up for auction and make a bid. All the proceeds go towards the Katrina victims.

Update: Phin is auctioning off a site redesign! Be sure to check out the portfolio, he's done some of the best looking blogs I know.

I needed something to lift my spirits

And nothing makes me smile more than making fun of others. Or potty humor. Or both all in one great place!

Someone in England compiled a list of the 100 most rude place names (wink, wink. nudge, nudge).

This might explain why British soccer fans are so testy.

Thanks to CGHill of Dustbury for pointing this one out.

Dreamer. Nothing but a dreamer.

Need a list of today's technologies that were predicted in Science Fiction?

Thanks to Owlish for the pointer.

(cue Supertramp...)

Hurricane Help

California Yankee has collect a list of links where you can go to help with recovery efforts.

A List of Lists

• Courtesy of the Gray Monk, a funny list of odd things found on medical charts.
• From Eric, the pointer to a list of things applicable to those born in 1987.
• Jeff at Alphecca points to this list over at Argghhh! on the rules of a gunfight.
• Owlish leads us to Pratie, who snagged an item from 100 different "100 things about" lists. Great fun!

Fun's over.

Two

Here are a couple of blogs who've recently linked to Rocket Jones. I've visited them a time or two, and you might want to too. Who knows, they might become a favorite of yours.

Can You Hear Me Now (formerly Retail Hell)

RetroBabe (gotta love a name like that)

Pole Dancing Followup

After my "stripper music" post, Michele points to a wonderful collection of videos that teach various forms of sensual dance. One, The Art of Exotic Dancing Core Moves, is described thusly:

Exotic dancing is much more than "dancing sexy", it is learning how to reach deep within yourself, find your own inner beauty and grace, and combine it into a sensual movement. Through Exotic Dancing, you will learn how to fully empower yourself, connect with others, boost your self-confidence and self-esteem, become a role model, attract people to you, overcome your fears of self expression, let down your guard, and discover new ways to spice up your relationships.

That's what the women get out of it. Us guys just like tits and hope we'll get laid.

All Your Death Star Are Belong To Us

What a hoot! Screen captures of Revenge of the Sith, subtitled in English from the original Chinese translation.

Via Right Hand of God, via Susie.

It's a quadruple play!!!

Of complete ass-hattery, that is. We have four, count 'em, four, fools from the world of sports who should just STFU. Of course, they have the right to an opinion, but the only difference between them and the loudmouth at the end of the bar is that nobody is sticking a microphone in the lush's face.

Leading off is columnist Tim Dahlberg, who has spent this entire season ripping on Barry Bonds for not playing. Of course, three knee surgeries and rehab are no excuse to this hack, he's got his schtick (Bash Bonds) and he's beating the dead horse as hard and as often as he can. If you follow the link, make sure you catch all of his oh-so-subtle steroid references. This fool hates baseball, pure and simple. It would be nice if he quit writing about it.

Up second, Milton Bradley of the Los Angeles Dodgers proves that the anger management counselling he received last year worked well. He never once raised his voice as he ripped into teammate Jeff Kent, calling him a racist. Personally, I think that his voice was muffled since his head was up his ass. Jeff Kent is not an easy guy to get along with, but to play the race card is just low and stupid.

Kent had the perfect response, "Ask Dusty Baker if I'm racist, Ask Dave Winfield and Joe Carter."

Bradley's problem is that he was promised by management that he would be the leader of the team, and he believes that all you need to do to be a leader is to be told that it's the way it will be. When Kent jumped him about not hustling during one baserunning play, Bradley fires back and displays his mad leadership skills. I'd call him a Dodger jackass, but that would be redundant.

And I didn't make a single board game joke.

And then there's Frank Robinson. I have a lot of respect for the man, which is why I choose to believe that reporters caught him at a bad time, like maybe he'd just finished snorting cocaine from a DC hooker's bellybutton.

I'd say "batting cleanup", but I'd rather use the bat on the skull of the director of the Tour de France. After yet another smear attack on Armstrong by the French newspaper L'Equipe (who do so regularly), Jean-Marie Leblanc has come out firmly on the side of science scientology. The newspaper printed copies of paperwork they claim proves that six year old urine samples belonged to the American cyclist.

Six year old urine sample? I guess the only question I have about the "proven scientific facts" is, tastes great or less filling?

He owes explanations to us and to everyone who follows the tour.

No, he owes you nothing. Armstrong has been repeatedly tested throughout his career and has never had anything but clean results. Now that he's retired and out of the country, French courage roars forth for one last cheap shot. It's telling that the other leading professional cyclists are all coming out in support of Lance Armstrong.

And until another American LeMond or Armstrong comes along to dominate, the Tour de France will drop back to the level of popularity enjoyed by Iron Man triathalons and Arena Football.

I suppose I should wrap this up somehow... ok, I've got it.

pftftftftftft!

Modern Maturity

Gwen Stefani needs to get over herself.

Goodbye to Music Pioneer Robert Moog

He revolutionized electronic music. Rob over at Left & Right has more.

Letter to Terrell Owens

Every day that nitwit stays with the Eagles, I thank the stars that he's not with the Ravens. Don't miss this hilarious letter from his biggest fan. Out of the mouths of babes, as they say.

Thanks to Off Wing Opinion for the pointer.

Zing!

Spoons fires off a good one!

Showing up in unexpected places

Paul, of the defunct Sanity's-Edge, is back and blogging over at Id's Cage.

Yay!

Because when you think "Stripper Music", you think Rocket Jones

I'm proud of this place.

I enjoy finding interesting and funny things to share with y'all, and I really appreciate the fact that you keep coming back. Not only that, but many of you still talk to me. That kinda amazes me sometimes.

"This is my family. I found it, all on my own. It's little, and broken, but still good.
Yeah, still good."
-- Stitch

Besides the regulars, I get hits from people searching the web for things. Besides the usual odd and downright perverse stuff (we all get 'em), I get visitors quite often looking for things like "build a rubber band gun" and "model rocket plans". I still get comments almost every week on the Box Hockey posts, Rob's Favorite Guitarists of All Time list, and Nog Watch.

Like I said, I'm proud of all of this. But when I'm talking to someone about Rocket Jones and want to toss out one datum with maximum wow power, well, there's really only one choice.

If you google "stripper music", Rocket Jones comes up #1 on the list.

"I am a professional pole dancer and private dance teacher in Japan. Thanks for your ideas."
-- Sandy

Yeah, I brag about that often. I know you've heard it before, but dammit, it means something to me! Lots of blogs boast about how if you google "goat oreo rubber pants" then they come up at the top of the search results.

Bee Effen Dee.

"Stripper music" isn't some random pairing of words with a tenuous connection to my place, this is where actual DJ's and ladies of the dance come to check out the latest tunes and to leave their own suggestions. It's also become a popular target for women looking for pole dancing lessons. And up until now, all I could do was offer generic advice about where to look in their local areas, and to wish them luck.

Until now.

This first link, A Pole Lot of Fun, looks to be a 'party' style setup, similar to the way Tupperware used to work.

We bring the pole, you bring the friends and together we create a magical night of fun, laughter, and support.

Follow that link and see if there's someone local to you. Ladies, do it for yourself if not for your guy. Guys, grow some romantic initiative and set it up for her (and don't forget a dozen roses so she doesn't think you got her hooker lessons, you insensitive bastards).

This link, PoleStars, is based in the UK and Australia. It looks like this is more of the traditional (if I may use that word) class instruction on the art of pole dancing and strip tease.

Both sites offer equipment and clothing too. And remember ladies, it's exercise!

More Geographical Coolness via the Internet

Thanks to the Maximum Leader for pointing this one out!

The world is crisscrossed by our navigational coordinates, latitude and longitude.

A confluence is defined as a flowing together; a meeting place (often of rivers). In our case a degree confluence is the exact spot where an integer degree of latitude and an integer degree of longitude meet.

Every person on earth lives within 50 miles of a degree confluence, and the world is dotted by 64,442 of these. Someone had the brilliant idea to have people visit each one and take a photograph, to be collected into one place and shared. Proof of visit is supplied by snapping a screen shot of a handheld GPS unit on the spot (or within a reasonable distance in some cases).

Of course, many are in the middle of the ocean, or located on the ice packs up where Santa lives (and his Summer home down South). So if someone visits one of those, it's great, but they're concentrating on the land-based confluences.

Maybe one is near you?

Welcome Home

Better than a year and a half ago, Ross left for Iraq. He's home again, and his blog still sucks. Drop by anyways to welcome him back and thank him for his service.

Better than a fried banana sandwich

This is too cool. An Elvis mural done with Post-it Notes. Follow the links and find instructions on how to do your own digital sticky art.

Hockey Hockey Hockey

Little tidbits I found interesting...

Goalie Curtis Joseph (aka Cujo) signed with the Phoenix Coyotes, which incidentally are now being coached by Wayne Gretzky. The 'Yotes haven't made a big splash in the free-agent feeding frenzy, but they've signed several quality players. Watch for them, they may surprise a few people.

I didn't realize that with all the the new rules changes, it could mean this (courtesy SharksPage):

Larger Neutral Zone, more difficult to clear the puck & blue line is now inside the doors - therefore if a player enters the ice and moves forward he'll be offsides

There's some question about this one. We'll have to wait and see it in action.

I heard on the radio this morning that the Capitals have made an offer to Peter Bondra. Now if he comes back, that would make me happy.

"Three teams not radically exploring the unrestricted free agent market because of the way they are built are Ottawa, Tampa Bay and ourselves. If that is the company I'm to be judged with, I’ll take that." -- GM Doug Wilson, San Jose Sharks

And finally, the Atlanta Thrashers website has been named best in the NHL by The Sports Business Journal and the University of Massachusetts Amherst (yeah, not a biggie to most of us, but who else does these rankings?). Sites were judged for design, content, commerce, and fan interactivity.

The top 5 were: 1. Atlanta, 2. Washington Capitals, 3. Chicago Blackhawks, 4. Columbus Blue Jackets, 5. San Jose Sharks.

Thanks again to SharksPage for the last two.

Don't forget to join us for the third annual Hockey Whoopass Jamboree!

Please Act Responsibly

Please don't drink and read Rocket Jones. Bad things can happen.

Trust me, I have it on good authority.

YESSSSSS !!!!!!

This is the revised version:

"Someone once said that there was no doubt that we would colonize the Moon and Mars. The only question was what language would be spoken: the language of science or the language of business. My money is on business. The language of business is universal, ignores national borders, and is capable of speaking all human languages."

You can go to RocketForge to see the original quote, and his reasoning behind thinking that the original is not necessarily true.

New Banner

Like it?

Amy made it for me. She rocks.

I'm a pretty nice guy when I'm not being an ass

I couldn't decide on how to start this. First I wanted to just go "neener, neener" because it's me and not you, but I've already used up my "jerk" points for the month (don't ask). Then I thought about telling you about how excited I was (I did a nipple check, and it's true, I'm *very* excited), but that would give y'all mental images that would scar my children, frighten friends, and maybe (he said hopefully) bring a wistful smile or two to the ladies.

Secret message to Blue: I sound like a straaange creature, never before seen on B-B-B-Broadway!

I can hear you saying, "would somebody please smack him so he gets to the point."

To which I reply, "careful, we both might like it." (mental note: we haven't had a bondage post in a while)

So, if you've been following along, the aforementioned Blue is host and MC of The Simian Syndicate podcast. Their latest show is up, and not only do I get a shoutout, but Blue and Mad Monty (more than a sidekick, less than that crazy uncle you're ashamed of) run wild with it. After singing my new theme cue (think choirs of angels: "Rocket Jones"), Blue reads some words I wrote about the podcast (the Bobcat Goldwaith voice was classic and not far off the mark), they flatter me unashamedly and boost my ego until I swear I'd make Bob the dick drug guy look depressed.

Rereading that last paragraph, I see where I use the parens like my own virtual sidekick, interjecting asides here and there. So what would I call this new medium? Kind of a written podcast thing... wordcast? Oh wait. It's called a blog. Never mind.

So yes, they give me mad props and proclaim Rocket Jones hella good (that line inserted to annoy and embarrass my daughters). Blue also heaps praise upon Cindy and the Ken and Squip Show, which shows that he's a class act and shouldn't be judged solely on what he says about me. I'm sure it's the alcohol talking.

Ok, enough of that. Being serious for a moment, The Simian Syndicate is one of the funniest things I've heard in a long time. Their recent bit "Our Global World" had me in tears (and it's Mookie approved!) and they've introduced a MadLib segment to the show. Add in the great music, keep-you-on-your-toes banter ("drinking makes me Carl") and you've got one heckuva entertaining hour.

Aside to Blue: how about putting in a word for me with Soccergirl? I want a shoutout from her too.

I've come up with the perfect way to say thanks to The Simian Syndicate, and the beauty of it is that it's free for you and I but it could cost him money! What could be better?

Here's the deal: head on over to his place and download a show or two or all. Give 'em a listen (please use headphones at work or around the genteel). Or don't listen. Whatever. See, they talked about how they wish that they had bandwidth issues, so I figure that the least I can do is help them realize their dream.

Wordsmith. I'm a fucking wordsmith!

Welcome to the blogroll, Monty

When I get to it in the next day or two...

Drink Rum. Sample:

Bigger = More Better

My life has been clouded by mystery. I've lived my entire legal drinking life in Virginia, where liquor sales are run by the "man". All liquor has to be purchased through state run stores. Not that big of a deal I always thought... until now.

Apparently, in South Carolina, liquor can be sold by anyone. Including those big crazy bulk warehouse type stores. I have found that Sam's Clubs down their are stockpiling liquor in amazingly large quantities.

Want to pick up 1000 rolls of two ply toilet paper? Hell no, but I would love to get a 5 gallon drum of Bacardi Silver!

Buying in bulk always seemed so silly to me until now.

It's like the light of enlightenment (shut up) has been shined in my left eye very brightly while my right eye is closed tightly fearing the wonderment of it all.

Liquor in bulk. I can die happy.

Funny, funny stuff.

A Top 10 List Even Marilyn Manson's Mother Could Love

Visit A Perfectly Cromulent Blog for the pointer to the "10 Most Ridiculous Black Metal Pics of All Time" and "Son of 10 Most Ridiculous Black Metal Pics of All Time". Great fun!

Paooki*

Meryl Yourish had an encounter with a big-assed spider who built it's web in her front doorway.

I had a similar situation recently, and managed to get photos too.

(in the extended entry)

*Paook is the Russian word for spider.

I much prefer my universe.

New Trend? I hope so!

I've been sitting on this one awhile, awaiting further developments.

Some bloggers, like Instapundit, get free books to review. That's cool.

Thanks to Triticale, I learned that a short while ago Jeff (a prominent 2nd Ammendment blogger) was given the opportunity to preview a new firearm. That's very cool.

Lastly, a couple of weeks ago, I got an email referring to the Rocket Jones online biography on Brinke Stevens. It seems that Ms Stevens has written a new horror movie which is now out as an indie effort, and yours truly was offered a review copy. How cool is that?

The internet is a twisted place full of unexpected surprises. If you're using it right.

Hockey post, sort of

At least Pete mentions hockey in this funny story.

I don't see one of these in my future

But I know quite a few people who can't wait for this keyboard designed for gamers.

Entry for next week's Carnival of Music

Apparently there's a series that's been airing lately called "Rockstar INXS" that I don't watch (and according to Spoons, I'll burn in hell for missing it - sounds like double jeopardy to me). Anyway, one of the contestants, a young black man named Ty, laments:

It was hard for me... because, like, being the only black person on the show, sometimes I do have to think about like what I represent. You can count on your hand how many people have been able to succeed in Rock and Roll that are, you know, African-American, and I think it's unfair... (sobbing, squealing) you know it just hurts me!

Spoons then proceeds to convincingly smack Ty upside his virtual head. This is a must read, folks.

Dang, I wanted to be Tim

Take the quiz: "Which Holy Grail Character Are You?"

The Bridge Keeper
'Answer me these questions three, n'er the other side ye see.'

Seen all over, most recently at TexasBestGrok.

Noted in passing

The last three trackbacks to Rocket Jones are:

Hi. My name is Shank, and I'm a pussy.

Pestilence.

YUM!

Honored

Yesterday Eric was nearing the landmark of the 1000th comment left at his place. My timing was perfect and I managed to leave that magic comment, and of course it was pithy and philosophical without being too emotionally charged.

It was also about zombies.

So head on over, check out the awesome prize I've been awarded, and leave a comment to kick-start the climb towards #2000.

Thanks, Eric.

My collection is sadly lacking

Thanks to John at TexasBestGrok, here's a nifty link to posters and more from the many seasons of MST3K!

Alas, I actually own less than half of these titles.

Podcasting is really taking off

My apologies for the title, I couldn't resist.

I saw this over at Wizbang:

STS-114 Mission Specialist Steve Robinson transmitted the first podcast from space.

They're safely back on the ground now (in case you hadn't heard), but follow that link to get to the audio feed and/or NASA transcript.

Now, how can I get a shoutout from orbit?

Reflexively Wrong

Over at Wizbang, Jay Tea tells the story of a family with a sewage problem. The solution to all their problems, in his opinion, could be handled by an adjacent WalMart. If, of course, they weren't such awful, uncaring, insensitive neighbors.

I was heartened to read the comments, because the response was overwhelmingly in WalMart's favor for a variety of reasons. In a later post, Paul slaps Jay down convincingly with more facts about the story.

I recently read somewhere (can't remember where) that Bill Gates and Microsoft aren't evil, although some people wish they were. That parallels the question I always ask when someone starts bashing WalMart: At what point does a company grow so big that it becomes evil?

I once asked a friend who lives in a small town what she thought about the WalMart that opened in the next town over. She was enthusiastic about it, and when I inquired about how it was affecting the local small businesses, her reply surprised me:

Screw them. When they were the only game in town they jacked up their prices and took advantage of us all because they could. Now that WalMart is here they're whining about how unfair it is. Ask me about unfair, and I'll remind you about when your choice was to pay out the butt to them or drive an hour to the city to get a decent price.

I've heard the stories about how when WalMart opens, they send armed groups of WalMart police to every house, round people up and force them to shop there. Oh wait, no I haven't. If your local businesses are closing up, it's because YOU didn't support them by shopping there. Don't blame WalMart for your decision about where to spend your money.

In the 60's it was fashionable to blast IBM (remember "fold, spindle and mutilate"?). In the 90's it was Microsoft's turn, and now the groupthink have turned their collective hatred towards WalMart. Notice how each of those companies got to where they were by doing business better than their competitors. Each achieved dominance by being better capitalists. They treat their employees rather better than average. But dammit, they're evil! They're... big! They're evil!

It's fashionable. It's stupid. Either think before you make that reflexive leap, or find a cliff first like the rest of the lemmings.

Adam Curry knows Rocket Jones!

Well, he does now*.

(warning: massive linking to occur because I'm pretty damned happy!)

Cindy (aka Squipper), of the blog Dusting My Brain, recently teamed with her partner Ken to create a new episode of their podcast (which I talked about here). This was actually part 2 of their show, and some amazing things happened. First, there was much talk of and about Cindy's breasts which, you may remember, I suggested. Talk about being responsive to the audience! Second, Adam Curry* called in and they did quite a long bit with him, which was fun to listen to because they're long-time friends and they obviously enjoyed each other's company. Third, in the middle of all of that, they gave Rocket Jones (and moi), a huge shout out and said many kind things about me. On the air. With Adam Curry* (who agreed that more breasts is a good thing). Me.

And, since many of you are fellow bloggers, well hell, we all know it's all about me. Right?

So I'm doing the happy dance, which is a unique and memorable sight to see. I'd podcast it for you, but that's an audio medium and all you'd hear is much crashing about and breaking of things. Watch the final twenty minutes of the Blues Brothers with your eyes closed and you'll get the same effect.

Better yet, listen to the last twenty minutes of the Blues Brothers while watching the elephant ballet in Disney's Fantasia and get the full effect.

In further podcasting events (I'm infatuated with them at the moment), I've listened to Silent Running's very own, which goes by the name "Shire News Network". Andrew Ian Dodge and Laurence Simon both do regular bits on it (I gather, I've only heard the one so far). So for rather more serious news with a down under slant, check it out.

Digital Podcast has tons and tons of links, information, ratings, reviews, etc on podcasting.

I tracked down SoccerGirl, Incorporated (remember, I said I would) and gave a listen to several of her shows. Interesting, and really hammered home the point that podcasting is the audio version of blogging. There are many styles and viewpoints and you'll find something for every taste if you look.

Finally (I saved it for last, but definitely not least!), over at the Simian Syndicate, Blue grabbed an original song by CruiseBox (released under the Creative Commons License) and built a wicked show around it. Strange, yes, but very very cool. If you're tired of the pablum spewed out by your radio, look into podcasts. There's a lot of great indie music out there that you don't get to hear.

(humming) ... mp3 killed the radio star...

*For those asking, "who the hell is Adam Curry?" Let me answer that, oh ye of little technical prowess (that's not a slam, I was one amongst you until very recently). He's known as "The Podfather" for his groundbreaking efforts in podcasting, and other things. Here, go read his Wikipedia entry and be impressed.

Cool Threads

Thanks to SilverBlue for this link to the Rubber Ducky Condom Company (mildly not safe for work). When Mookie saw the t-shirts they sell, she mentioned how great they would be for gift-giving. I chose to ignore the hint, but the shirts are great!

As much fun as "No Ducky, No Lucky" is, my taste runs more towards the surreal. That's why this site just tickles me no end (major kudos to the Ministry of Minor Perfidy for pointing this one out!). Featuring religious arcana such as "The Flying Spaghetti Monster" (may his noodly appendage touch your heart), and my personal favorite:

Someone is attuned to my sense of humor to a frightening degree.

I'm stealing the whole thing

Velociman:

TOYING WITH MY TICKER

I saw in a flyer today where Walgreen's is selling a personal defibrillator for
$1,495. Please. My coinhabitants of this hovel can't even put their dirty socks in the hamper. And I'm going to let them put the paddles to my heart? I don't fucking think so.

I am a fan of 911. Call it. Let the professionals revive me. You? Stay the fuck away from me, with those paddles.

Velociworld is full of brilliance like this.

Maybe the ninjas aren't such a good idea after all

Katana vs Machine Gun.

Is there really any doubt? But take a look anyways, because the super slow motion sequences of what happens are incredible. Too bad that in practical terms it means two smaller holes instead of one big one.

Thanks to the Flea for the pointer.

Depends on which Care Bear you're talking about, doesn't it?

After questioning the results of a "type of humor quiz", Dawn wounds me thusly:

No offense doll, and I hate to detract from your image, but you're about as menacing as a Care Bear.

Well, sweetie, since this is Rocket Jones...

(in the extended entry, safe for work in all but the most conservative office environments)

Not all Care Bears were universally popular. For instance, Beer Fart Bear and Bong Bear were both left off of the television show, which in hindsight was probably a good thing. Then, after Blonde Bear's tragic encounter with an animal trap (she survived, but gnawed off three legs before freeing the correct limb), a schism developed between those who thought that the franchise should stay where it was vs those who favored "growing up" with their audience. We all know how that came out. Who's heard from Bimbo Bear lately?

One result was the emergence of the Bear's Who Don't Care faction, who never really caught on. Personally, I thought Swear Bear was a natural.

Then there's my personal favorites, the Bondage Bears*. The photo came from here. This page is safe (if you're ok with Teddy Bears being tied up) but consider yourself warned about clicking anything but the thumbnails or "next page" once you get there.

So yeah, I guess I am about as menacing as a Care Bear, depending on which Care Bear you're talking about.

* I love google, you can find anything!

Heartless cad that I am

I disappointed you when I couldn't provide a link to video of the nitrous-injected chainsaw.

Would a V8 powered chainsaw do?

More Podcasting News

Mozongo now has a weekly podcast about the latest and greatest in mobile technology. Check out this week's cast, where they talk about the Motorola Q and the HTC-Wizard smartphones.

"May You Live In Interesting Times"

Alan Zoe Brain has always been one of the more interesting bloggers out there, both at A.E.Brain and at The Command Post. The last several months have been downright surreal.

Zoe is also one helluva human being, having sent an encouraging email to me when I was fretting about my wife's surgery. He's had some medical issues of his own to deal with, er... She's had some medical issues of her own to deal with.

Regular readers know that I'm not one to rattle the tip cup, but in this case, Zoe's medical bills are going to be far in excess of what insurance might cover. Head on over, read about a drastic, involuntary and unexpected change in lifestyle (there are many posts over a period of time), and if you feel so inclined, drop some bucks in his jar. Thanks.

Needs fulfilled

Matt posts zombie pictures so I don't have to.

Awesome site redesign too.

I promised myself that I'd harden my heart

But I'm such a little bitch.

The NHL will return to the ice with the busiest night in the league's 88-year history.

Not wanting fans to have to wait one extra day to see their teams, the NHL has scheduled 15 games -- including all 30 clubs -- on opening night Oct. 5. Before the lockout that wiped out all of last season, the record for games in a day was 14, done nine times but not since 2003.

The schedule, released Wednesday, features more divisional games as teams will play their biggest rivals eight times instead of six.

Yeah, I'm freakin' excited again.

Off Wing Opinion has a link to the complete schedule, along with this:

NHL Roundup recaps every NHL game from the previous night, and runs Monday to Friday. Rink notes is a digest of features from around the league that usually runs at lunch time.

While you're surfin' the ice, check out The Hockey Pundits too.

My dog is running around the house chasing flies

The title has not a damn thing to do with this post, but it's entertaining as all git-out to watch. Just thought I'd share.

I've been exploring the world of podcasting a bit more and returned (mostly) mentally unscathed.

Ken and Squip have part 1 of their bicoastal camping trip (sounds dirty, doesn't it?) available for your perusal. I think Rocket Jones got an oblique reference - feigned indignation was mentioned - over the supposed review I did on their show. That surprised me, because first, I didn't mean for it to come out like a review, I was just recommending it to my friends, and secondly, I should've made it more clear that "juvenile humor" is right up my alley. Obviously Ken doesn't read Rocket Jones, although they did seem to take my advice and talked about Squipper's breasts quite a bit.

Next up, I listened to the original apologizer, Blue of the Simian Syndicate. Right up front you're warned that the podcast isn't safe for families, children, work, etc. That's what headphones are for. Lemme tell you, the people at work were giving me some odd looks as I sat there working away and laughing my ass off at random intervals. In other words, business as usual.

I want to add to their warning, because the two shows I've listened to have been reeeeeely filthy. I don't believe for a second that these guys are gay, because if they were half as homo-nympho-maniacally inclined as they kid about, they'd never have time to actually speak into the microphone. In other words, they talk the hump, but they don't pump the rump.

Now I don't want to scare you away, because this podcast is awesome. Blue and buds are musicians, and the music on the two shows I've heard has been killer.

Don't miss M.C. Govenator and his newest "Go On and Touch It". I laughed, I cried, I voted Republican.

Now I need to track down Soccer Girl. Take my advice and give a listen, and then you'll understand.

Techno-Geek coolness - Old school

I've been remiss in not keeping up with the ol' blogroll because, well, things have been hoppin' 'round the ol' homestead (that sentence brought to you by the apostrophe and the letter "d"... what? D's gone? how 'bout "g"? Hell, get "a" in here... screw his contract, in here. Now. Freakin' uppity vowels...).

Oh, you're still here?

Right, um... oh yeah, my blogroll... and, uh... oh! Yeah. I've meant to link to a few people who've been kind enough to link to Rocket Jones and I've yet to reciprocate, so I'll be doing a couple more of these soon.

So, lessee... (geez, what a goatrope this post is turning out to be... quick glance at the title - what the hell does that mean?)

I remember now.

Stu Savory has a blog, and on his blog he talks about things. As one does. (thought I was Helen there for a minute, eh?) Anyways, he's posted a link and pictures and plenty of background information about a PC simulation of the American version of the Enigma coding machine used by Germany in WWII (screw it, that sentence is so brain-dead that I'm not even gonna try and fix it... just reread it until it makes sense*).

Then he follows it up with this post.

As much as I grooved on the cryptography, that link just above is just amazing. Go. Read. Trust me, he writes way better than I (although I do know enough not to say "me" at the end of that sentence, so Ha!).

Really, go check it out. Just don't mention that you saw it here, or he'll probably think less of you. Hell, I would after reading this mess. I'm sooo delinked.

*Ok, I reread it, and you know what? I meant to. That's right, it's on purpose. It's google-bait. So there**.

**I'm serious though, about reading "Some corner of a foreign field".

Stupid childish crap like this amuses me

Turn down the sound before you head over to the Orgasmic Calculator. Every keystroke (hey, I typed that with a straight face!) is accompanied by bedroom noise.

Thanks Wegglywoo (and happy birthday!) (and I hope Callan's ok!!!!) for the pointer.

One of those "Ah-HAH!" moments

This probably explains the popularity of electric razors as Christmas gifts too.

Thanks to Elisson for the pointer.

Important Reminder

Momentum is growing for the Open Source Amendment which seeks to restore the property rights taken away from citizens by the Supreme Court decision on Kelo.

Please, each and every one of you, do this:

1. Go the the Open Source Amendment Petition and sign your name
2. Spread the word via blogs, email, whatever

Links to details about the Open Source Amendment Project.

Goody Two-Shoes is going to marry the Filthy Beast?

Over at The Sheila Variations, Red is posting a series on my all-time favorite actor, Cary Grant. I'm in heaven.

Stripperoki?

Another highlight from the aforementioned Ken and Squip podcast, that I forgot to tell you about.

A club in Oregon (?) has a deal going where the ladies do the ol' bump and grind while customers provide karioke-style accompaniment.

Damn straight I'd be there. Wonder if they'd let me sing Feelings?

Not Just Sitting There, Doing Something!

When the Supreme Court made it's decision on Kelo, it triggered a firestorm of controversy.

Stephen, over at Hold The Mayo, didn't just pontificate and complain, he acted. After numerous revisions generated by debate and consensus, he's posted the final version of the Open Source Amendment. This amendment to the U.S. Constitution defines "open source" and limits the powers that government has to claim emminent domain over private property.

Now comes the next steps, and we all need to help. It's simplicity itself. Please, each and every one of you, do this:

1. Go the the Open Source Amendment Petition and sign your name
2. Spread the word via blogs, email, whatever

Thanks, especially to Stephen, for the reminder about what it means to live in a participatory democracy.

The Ken and Squip Show

Podcasting has been getting quite a bit of attention lately, but I haven't had much time to listen or learn about it. For those not already in the know, podcasting is something like home-made radio, in the same way that blogging is home-made journalism. People create podcasts, which can then be downloaded and listened to on your iPod (hence the name) or other .mp3 player.

Before going on vacation I downloaded several editions of the Ken and Squip Show. They describe themselves thusly:

The Ken and Squip Show, created in October of 2004, is a bicoastal comedy podcast featuring Kenster J and Cindy C. (aka 'squipper' or 'squip'.) Seat-of-the-pants banter is the name of the game for our audio program. It's news, gossip, technology, new music and sex -- a cornucopia of some, all, or none of the those.

Squip is also the proprieter of Dusting My Brain, long-time resident of my sidebar. You may remember her as the winner of a loaf of Rocket Jones cinnamon raisin bread a while back. Since she's still around, I assume that it didn't poison her... although I haven't heard from her since then... hmmmm...

Anyway, I listed to the podcasts and I gotta tell you, I'm hooked. These two are funny as hell. Their humor is often juvenile and the entire show is definitely R-rated. In fact, Apple's iTunes has censored their title because it contains the word "intercourse"! Gotta love that.

Among the highlights was an apology from another podcaster who inadvertantly lost the link to Ken and Squip on his site without realizing it (that's the short version). When he realized what had happened, he apologized to them via his podcast, and believe me, it was the King of all apologies. I had tears in my eyes from laughing so hard.

About the only thing I would change is that Cindy should spend more time talking about her breasts. But hey, that's just me. Oh, and I deserve a shout out, just because.

So yes, I recommend downloading the Ken and Squip Show and giving it a listen. I'll be checking out other podcasts, including the Simian Syndicate, because he's earned a shot after that hilarious apology. Blue, I'm still cracking up over:

I am lower than dinosaur shit. And not poop from some giant mean-ass carnivore, but shit from some pussy plant-eating dinosaur.

That's not an exact quote, but it's close. Yo, Blue, I should get a shout out from you too. Just because.