January 01, 2010

Psst... Over Here (UPDATE: Moved Again, Link Adjusted)

I'm over at the new (new) Rocket Jones.

I didn't start over, just moved the whole kit-and-kaboodle over to a more spam-resistant platform. Please adjust your links accordingly. Thanks.

Posted by Ted at 10:43 AM | Comments (1)

May 18, 2008

Mee Moving Into Nu Digs

Ok, many suggested alternatives to abandoning blogging on Rocket Jones. Ultimately, you are all wiser than I, because I found that it really bugged me to just up and walk away.

Pixy has set me up over at the new Minx-based Rocket Jones. I believe that your links will be fine as is, because the "old" domain will get redirected to the new one in the near future. Pixy is kind and does nifty things like that, and although it is now literally possible, I really don't want to have his babies, but I am extremely grateful for what he does.

I am in a transitional phase in my life at this time, so I think I'm going to get back to basics: Rockets, movies, a little introspection and storytelling and humor. I think I'm excited about writing here again, because it took me a while to figure out exactly what my priorities were, and how to best satisfy them.

So use the link above to get to the new place (which make you laugh look away in embarrassment marvel in awe at my wicked CSS artistry. And one day soon, the "old" link to Rocket Jones will automagically take you to the new gingerbread house in the woods.

Posted by Ted at 07:59 AM | Comments (1743) | TrackBack

April 10, 2008

I Want Some

8.5" by 11" sheets of duct tape.

Thanks to the Rocket Dungeon for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 08:21 AM | Comments (531) | TrackBack

April 07, 2008

Knots

Knowing how to tie the right knot for a given application is important. Learning to tie a knot from a book can be frustrating as all git out.

Try this instead.

Thanks to Random Nuclear Strikes for the pointer.

Psst. They show how to tie neckties too.

Posted by Ted at 09:28 AM | Comments (12) | TrackBack

April 01, 2008

A Practical Guide to the Seven Deadly Sins

Face it, life *should* come with an instruction manual. It's even better with diagrams.

Posted by Ted at 03:03 PM | Comments (17) | TrackBack

March 24, 2008

Teddy Bear Skulls

No, really!

Posted by Ted at 11:03 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 03, 2008

Software Recommendation

A few weeks ago I bought a copy of Evernote.

If you're like me, you're often jotting down URL's or notes about this and that that you come across online. What Evernote does is automate that process, allowing you to select text, snippets of spreadsheets, email, entire screen prints, and much more to an electronic notepad. Plus, you can do it instantly because Evernote puts a button on your browser bar, making it as simple as select and click.

The real power comes in the application itself, because you can easily sort and organize in all kinds of useful ways. The search function is awesome too.

I'm not going to give an in-depth review or run down all of the features, and this isn't a sales pitch, but I do recommend checking out their website and watching the demo (flash). Evernote has been well worth the money (inexpensive and great value), and if you could use its capabilities then I think you'd like it.

Posted by Ted at 05:30 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

March 01, 2008

'Nother New Bunny

A while back I mentioned Butterscotch, a doe we were trying to bond to our single buck Ozzie. Didn't work. The two were fine together, as long as some sort of barrier was between them, but as soon as the barrier was gone, the fur started flying. Apparently grudges are long held in the rabbit world, so there was no chance of changing anyone's mind about the other, let alone reconciliation.

Today I took Butterscotch back to the rescue. She was a sweet bunny, very loving and gentle, and being realistic I think the problem was Ozzie. But sometimes that's how it works out.

I came back with a little doe named Midnight, and we'll try again for a few weeks. If this doesn't work out, we'll see about other options (there are several). Cross your fingers, because even with all the rabbit's feet in the house, we need all the luck we can get.

The rabbit rescue we work with is Bunny Lu. Give 'em a visit and hit their donation jar if you feel so inclined.

Posted by Ted at 05:09 PM | Comments (412) | TrackBack

February 29, 2008

Meet Max

Head on over to Son of Cheese (just click that handy link, how easy is that?) and get all gooshy over Derek and Mrs. Derek's new baby boy.

Posted by Ted at 06:01 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

February 26, 2008

Braille Flag

This is inspiring.

Jesus Sanchez Cabral flew his flag until he could no longer see it.

A decorated veteran, he never liked to display his World War II medals. That was showing off.

But the flag was another matter. He hung it on his Hutchinson, Kan., porch every Memorial Day, every Flag Day, every Fourth of July, every holiday.

It was a tradition he kept up until glaucoma blinded him. After that, his flag flew no more. When he died 10 years ago at the age of 82, his wife said it was too bad that he couldn’t see the flag in his final years.


And his son did something about that, designing an American flag for the blind. It describes the colors, the thirteen stripes and fifty stars, and also contains The Pledge of Allegiance.

Over 5,000 of these flags have been distributed to blind veterans, including many who fought in Iraq and Afghanistan. Next month, a bronze version will be delivered to Arlington National Cemetery for permanent display.

Posted by Ted at 11:48 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

February 14, 2008

You're Never Really Blessed Without A Smile

Elisson posted a picture, a picture of the kind I've been searching for for... well, quite some time (almost said "forever"). Tacky, kistchy, it'll make you go "Christ Almighty!" in rapturous awe and wonder.

Not very practical though, and that's where I come in. Add a splash of evil genius mixed with a mad dazzle of my photoshop skills, and... ego? No thanks, I already have one.

Click here to see the Rocket Jones version and it'll open in a new window.

Didja smile? Pray for me.

I have got to get that Cafe Press store up and running.

Posted by Ted at 05:57 AM | Comments (2)

February 13, 2008

Simulated Physics

Check out this simple toy that lets you play with real physics.

Thanks to Dick's Rocket Dungeon for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 05:45 PM | Comments (69) | TrackBack

The Longest Drive

A powerful series of photographs, showing that our Canadian friends know how to pay their respects to a fallen son.

Thanks to Ghost of a Flea for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 11:37 AM | Comments (55) | TrackBack

I'll Give You Something to Whine About

Could it be that someone in Europe is growing some balls?

Denmark's leading newspapers reprinted a drawing of the Prophet Muhammad on Wednesday, a day after three men were arrested on suspicion of plotting to kill the cartoonist whose work had spurred deadly protests in the Muslim world.

The papers said they wanted to show their firm commitment to freedom of speech after Tuesday's arrests in western Denmark.

The Jyllands-Posten newspaper, which first published 12 depictions of Muhammad on Sept. 30, 2005, reprinted Kurt Westergaard's cartoon in its Wednesday edition. Several other major dailies also reprinted the drawing, which shows Muhammad wearing a turban shaped like a bomb with a lit fuse.

I hope so, but the newspapers backed down mighty fast the first time the controversy erupted.

Posted by Ted at 05:38 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

February 12, 2008

Solemn Reminder

Yesterday I drove home from work along the usual route, past the Iwo Jima memorial, past the Pentagon and then Arlington Cemetery. Close to the road and up a slight hill, a military funeral was in progress. The horse drawn caisson, the honor guard and the friends and family all gathered for a sad but proud ceremony, in silhouette against the cloudless afternoon sky.

I'm reminded of Bill Whittle's essay titled Honor:

...nowhere in the world do ordinary servicemen or women receive anything like this level of honor and respect and reverence, and she is right. All nations honor their generals and heroes. This nation honors privates and sergeants in indistinguishable fashion.

Walking behind the flag-draped caisson of an Army 2nd Lieutenant that day, I felt that my father was receiving the funeral of the President of the United States. And, number of people on the parade route aside, as a matter of fact, he was.

I often complain about living in this area. I'm sometimes reminded that I'm fortunate beyond words to be living here.

Posted by Ted at 05:21 PM | Comments (12) | TrackBack

February 11, 2008

Just Call Me Jelly, 'Cause I'm On A Roll

In the last two weeks, I've won *two* free books from sites on the internet. First up, thanks to Mapgirl's Fiscal Challenge, I won a copy of the personal finance primer Debt is Slavery. I've already read it and passed it on to my son, and hopefully he'll be able to apply it's concepts to his life. He needs it.

Author James Newman is a regular over at the Wildside Cinema forums, and last week he held a contest for a copy of one of his out-of-print books, Midnight Rain. Yours truly won that one as well, with a childhood story of the uneasy sort. I'm really looking forward to reading this one.

I'd buy lottery tickets, but why break my hot streak?

Posted by Ted at 05:49 AM | Comments (20) | TrackBack

February 08, 2008

Christmas in February

Yesterday my last Christmas present arrived in the mail. Liz had forgotten that she'd ordered Silent America for me.

Worth the wait.

Posted by Ted at 06:03 AM | Comments (69) | TrackBack

February 02, 2008

SACMAO

That stands for "Snorting and Choking My Ass Off" since I can't laugh out loud at the moment.

Following Buckethead's advice, first you go read this. Trust me. Er, if you find my kind of twisted humor funny, then trust me. Otherwise, don't... but still, go read.

Then, click this link to the Ministry of Minor Perfidy to see the "missing" picture. If you did this in the right order, i.e. read first, then missing picture, then you will howl with laughter. Or snort and choke. Or decide once and for all that I'm going to burn in hell for eternity. Or D, all of the above.

Posted by Ted at 07:54 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

January 24, 2008

Dolphins Messing With Their Pet Humans Again

Check out this incredible video.

Now follow this link to get an explanation for what the hell it was you just watched.

Thanks to Mad William for the pointer. And yes, I could embed the video. I choose not to. Just because. I'm contrary that way.

Posted by Ted at 05:33 AM | Comments (48) | TrackBack

January 23, 2008

Valentines Day is Fast Approaching

Don't get caught without something unique for your sweetie!

Or for those who prefer that "homemade" touch...

Here's another alternative for those crafty types. Who knows, maybe you did this as a kid?

Posted by Ted at 11:10 AM | Comments (21) | TrackBack

January 19, 2008

My Mom Said I Could!

Hilarious commercial.

Posted by Ted at 09:34 AM | Comments (44) | TrackBack

And Here I Was, Bragging About My 3-D Background

Thanks to the Queen of Slack for the pointer.

D-Day on a budget.

That's my title. It's a four minute video that is absolutely amazing.

Posted by Ted at 09:00 AM | Comments (25) | TrackBack

January 17, 2008

Channelling Dave Thomas

Thanks to Owlish, who's feeling a bit under the weather, to put it mildly.

Bacon.

Posted by Ted at 06:27 PM | Comments (10) | TrackBack

January 12, 2008

Classical Harp

I received a new harmonica for Christmas and have been dutifully practicing. Not that it's a chore or anything, because making music - any kind of music - is fun and I've been doing it all my life. And though some people might find this video discouraging, I find it nothing but inspirational.

Thanks to Jimbo for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 07:58 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

Sir Edmund Hillary Dies

First man to stand atop Mt. Everest, he died in hospital on Friday in Auckland, New Zealand. He was 88 years old.

Sir Edmund wrote of his and Tenzing's final push to the roof of the world: "Another few weary steps and there was nothing above us but the sky. There was no false cornice, no final pinnacle. We were standing together on the summit. There was enough space for about six people. We had conquered Everest."

They stayed about 15 minutes, taking pictures as proof, before descending again. He later greeted a fellow expedition member with the words:

Well, George, we've knocked the bastard off.

He will be given a New Zealand state funeral on January 22. Read more about this remarkable man and his equally remarkable life here (for a start).

Posted by Ted at 07:31 AM | Comments (250) | TrackBack

January 11, 2008

Majestic, In the Air and On the Water

I had no idea, but bald eagles are excellent swimmers:

Q. Can a Bald Eagle swim?

A. Great question. Absolutely. They are very good swimmers, and I've even seen older nestlings who can't fly yet swim. It's not uncommon for an eagle to "misjudge" and latch into a fish too heavy/large for it to fly with, so they then may swim quite a distance to shore (wouldn't want to let go of lunch now would we), drag the fish up on shore and then eat it.

This page has more swimming eagle stories, plus more links.

Posted by Ted at 05:38 AM | Comments (2184) | TrackBack

January 08, 2008

Government, *ANY* Government, Is Not Your Friend

Alternate title: A politician is a politician is a politician...

While the Democrats try to figure out whether it's more about "change" to nominate a woman or a black man, let's not forget that Republicans can also do serious damage to our freedoms.

For instance, in California (land of Ahhhnold) there's a little plan afoot.

Title 24, California's state-mandated energy regulatory code is about to be revised to implement a requirement that will allow the state to take control of the thermostat in every new home and office in the state.

You like it a little cooler in the summer? Willing to pay for the higher electric usage? Too bad, sucka. The state now controls the amount of heating and cooling in your house (I say heating because heat pumps do both jobs). Oh, and as written, it's not just new construction, it's also any "change" to an existing home's heating and a/c system. Betcha that "change" will be defined to include annual maintenance checkups too. Any takers?

Meanwhile, all the way across the country in Massachusetts (you know, where Mitt Romney used to be guv'ner), their state-mandated universal health care plan is showing signs of being in serious trouble. After it's first year of operation, costs are running 150 million dollars above projections, and non-participants are being fined up to $1,800.00.

One year. $150,000,000 over budget.

They want you to believe that they know better than you how to spend your money.

See those QandO links for quotes and more.

Posted by Ted at 05:29 PM | Comments (1)

January 07, 2008

Too Funny Not to Pass Along

From McQ over at Q&O:

I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline.

Got a call center in Pakistan.

I told them I was suicidal.

They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

Posted by Ted at 07:13 PM | Comments (54) | TrackBack

January 06, 2008

Cooking in Lingerie

Via YouTube. Not me, for those who were worried about that.

Posted by Ted at 08:54 AM | Comments (9) | TrackBack

January 05, 2008

Go On, Expand Your Horizons, I Dare Ya!!!

Crank it up and be prepared to dance, Benny Lava.

Posted by Ted at 10:51 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

January 01, 2008

All the Ranting With None of that Fattening Common Sense!

I'm gonna link to myself here, because you *must* read the comment that was left.

Bot or Nut? What say you?

Posted by Ted at 09:58 AM | Comments (17) | TrackBack

December 30, 2007

Kit Kat Buffet

Did anyone else know that Kit Kat candy bars came in different flavors outside the US?

Posted by Ted at 08:57 AM | Comments (6)

December 28, 2007

What the Well-Dressed Freedom Lover is Wearing

Check out this wicked cool shirt from Stephen over at Hold the Mayo.

Posted by Ted at 09:17 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

December 23, 2007

On the Thirteenth Day of Christmas

...my true love gave to me,
thirteen sluts a'stripping.

Ok, so that's not so funny, but this version is, with more spirit and talent too.

Really, click that link and enjoy.

Thanks to Amy for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 07:24 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

December 21, 2007

Maybe I'll Come Up With A Snappy Title Later, Right Now My Brain Is Numb

Erica pointed this one out.

Blackle.

From their "About" page:

Blackle saves energy because the screen is predominantly black. "Image displayed is primarily a function of the user's color settings and desktop graphics, as well as the color and size of open application windows; a given monitor requires more power to display a white (or light) screen than a black (or dark) screen." Roberson et al, 2002

In January 2007 a blog post titled Black Google Would Save 750 Megawatt-hours a Year proposed the theory that a black version of the Google search engine would save a fair bit of energy due to the popularity of the search engine. Since then there has been skepticism about the significance of the energy savings that can be achieved and the cost in terms of readability of black web pages.

We believe that there is value in the concept because even if the energy savings are small, they all add up. Secondly we feel that seeing Blackle every time we load our web browser reminds us that we need to keep taking small steps to save energy.

You know, this isn't such a terrible thing. They're not being complete tree-hugging dicks about it and they're right about little things adding up. I won't be using it though, because the damn thing is almost unreadable with the gray on black scheme.

Wanna bet some ex-Vice Prez already has Goregle registered?

Posted by Ted at 07:08 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

A Break From the Surrealism at the Mall

Have a little surreal here on your monitor:

Japanese McDonalds commercial.

Posted by Ted at 06:47 PM | Comments (24) | TrackBack

December 19, 2007

Open Ass, Insert Head

Curt Schilling does it again.

Schilling commended those who've apologized for using performance-enhancing drugs, and called on everyone accused to prove their innocence or apologize for their mistakes.

Here's an idea, why don't you prove you don't molest farm animals, or apologize for it?

So far, the "evidence" consists of testimony given by a few people who hope that their cooperation will get them lighter sentences. I guess that's proof enough for Schilling. I'm not saying that these baseball players are innocent, I'm just trying to figure out how one proves a negative.

Schilling should apologize for waterboarding kids he meets at the Special Olympics. Or prove he doesn't.

He's an idiot with a big mouth. I just wish it was muffled more when his head is up his ass.

Posted by Ted at 10:26 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

December 16, 2007

Rest In Peace, My Friend

Tom, aka Triticale, has unexpectedly passed away.

Posted by Ted at 09:25 PM | Comments (11) | TrackBack

December 07, 2007

Early Christmas Present

She's back.

Posted by Ted at 05:16 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

October 27, 2007

I Needed to Laugh

This is brilliant.

After the all of endless days of the California fire quagmire, it's time for America to admit that it can't win this battle. We must immediately withdraw our forces and go home. But until our so-called "leaders" in Washington wise up to the folly of their current course, all we can do is ask ourselves, "why does fire hate us?".

The comments are almost as.

The ones who want to put it out are obviously in the pocket of Big Water.
I would just like to say that I am against firefighting but for the firefighters.
I can't see how some people are saying they support putting the fire out, yet don't serve in the fire department.

ChickenHosers.

There's so much more, go check it out.

Posted by Ted at 10:17 AM | Comments (1)

October 21, 2007

Surreal

Sweet Home Albania Alabama.

Thanks to Wizbang! for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 01:07 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

October 19, 2007

Downside: Less Portable than a Magazine, Upside: Way Funnier

What happens when you combine a viewmaster, viewmaster porn disks, and a young man with that good ol' American ingenuity?

More importantly, what happens afterwards?

Thanks to Dustbury for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 05:17 PM | Comments (87) | TrackBack

September 26, 2007

Before I Go Screw It All Up

The new Rocket Jones is up, all pristine and defaultish and ready for me to move in. Once I give the say so, Pixy will finalize the move and then it'll become the permanent place under this URL. So don't adjust your links, because we're going to do it all for you. We're nice like that. Well, Pixy is.

Posted by Ted at 04:59 AM | Comments (322) | TrackBack

September 19, 2007

Aye Matey, 'tis That Time o' Year Again

Talk Like A Pirate Day.

Arggh, pirates and rockets, shiver's me timbers, it does!

Any further bloggin' done today will be done with one o' these.

Posted by Ted at 05:26 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

September 15, 2007

Too Good to Not Pass Along

I saw this thanks to Dustbury, from Writer Chick, on the subject of Assclowns:

Personally, I blame the schools. Back in the day when I was in school, you weren’t taught about sexuality and multiculturism, you were taught math, english, history and economics. You were expected to use your brain and be aware of the fact that there were actually other people in the world, who also had opinions. And said opinions were expected to make sense by using facts and critical thinking. Can you say, debate club? You were expected to actually earn your grades through study, hard work and turning in legible papers, reports and passing tests. You weren’t graded on a curve - you were graded on what you got right and what you got wrong.

Seems like these days you don’t need facts, the ability to think or even a valid argument of any kind. Having an opionion is more than enough. And since we’ve leveled the playing field, we are supposed to be willing to listen to anybody about anything, lest we show our racist, bigoted or intolerant selves. Hey, just because is a convicted serial killer and rapist doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a right to an opinion. Charles Manson is just a grossly misunderstood guy. Suddam wasn’t hurting us, why did we hurt him? That five year old who kissed the little girl in the playground awaits trial for sexual harrassment. If he’s lucky, he’ll get counseling and some mind altering drugs that will set him straight.

Amen.

Posted by Ted at 06:02 PM | Comments (64) | TrackBack

September 12, 2007

It's A First!

Mookie sent this link to the first "Old Timer" T-shirt designed for today's kids. And by that, I mean, it's a shirt today's kids can wear when they become oldsters. You know, like 30 or something.

On a related note, I kinda like this one too.

Posted by Ted at 05:19 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

September 10, 2007

Blue Music

Local independent musician Blue sent out an email late last week:

Hi kids!

I hope this finds you all well.

I've (finally) finished the 8-song preview for the forthcoming Booze
Monkey album, "4th St."

I'm going to distribute this preview freely to anyone who is willing
to give it a listen. I'm currently preparing to print up a short run
of preview discs. I have two songs remaining to record. After
recording those I will be manufacturing the record for full
distribution (ala "Gorsky" or "Holly").

Below is a link to a zip file containing digital copies of this
preview, with lyrics and artwork embedded into the mp3s. They are
LAME encoded at 160. A preview-cover jpg and an rtf featuring lyrics
and quasi-liner notes is also included. If you use iTunes you can
simply unzip, and then drag the folder over the "playlist" portion of
iTunes to generate a gapless (important) playlist for the album with
the lyrics and artwork displayed as well.

If you are interested, please check it out. If you dig it, please
share it by any means possible... (except selling it... grin)... burn
it, rip it, mix, muddle, cut, copy, paste, et al.

The website (including the page linked below) is currently dead wood.
I will revisit it as I gear up for the launch of this record.

http://SanityCheck.net/music/music.html

The link is located in the body of the text on the page.

Smoodles!

Blue


So, follow that link and download the .zip file you'll find there and give it a listen. I did, and it's goooooood.

What I'm hoping for is to set up some sort of blogmeet in Winchester, Virginia when Blue does a live show in that area. Hopefully this fall or winter. A bar-based get together with live music? What a switch, eh?

Posted by Ted at 05:19 AM | Comments (285) | TrackBack

September 09, 2007

Someone Should Explain It To Them

This is the best unintentionally funny corporate name since Wang.

Posted by Ted at 10:54 AM | Comments (11) | TrackBack

September 08, 2007

I'm Pretty Sure It's Just Me

Am I the only one who thinks it would be hilarious to serve Chinese food in one of these bowls?

Posted by Ted at 04:35 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

Glad It's Over

It was *that* kind of week at work.

Posted by Ted at 10:26 AM | Comments (0)

September 06, 2007

Yet Another Reason Why My Life Is Better Than Yours

Because Mookie buys me stuff like this for my birthday.

Glow-in-the-Dark Flesh Eating Zombies Play Set

You know I giggled like a little kid and immediately ran into the dark bathroom to see 'em glow.

It's the perfect accompaniment to the Horrified B-Movie Victims Figure Set that she got me for Christmas.

Hey, I've got a zombie *dog*! Not to mention the bathrobian zombie on the far right. I know Dogette is jealous.

Posted by Ted at 03:11 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

August 30, 2007

As If I Needed Another Reason to Hate the Denver Broncos

As a Raiders fan, I hate the Broncos with a fierce burning passion. This though, has nothing to do with the team, and everything to do with one of the players on the team.

Travis Henry, irresponsible whore.

[Broncos running back Travis] Henry, 28, has fathered nine children by nine women in at least four Southern states and has been ordered by various judges to provide child support for seven of them, according to court records involving one child living in DeKalb County.

Henry gets my vote as "Athlete Most in Need of Chemical Neutering". Michael Vick is being crucified for killing dogs, but that pales in comparison, because besides the lack of personal responsibility, Travis Henry is an asshole as well:

Although he signed a five-year, $22.5 million contract with the Broncos this off-season that guarantees him $12 million, Henry's lawyer says, "He doesn't have any money."

The slime was almost jailed for failure to pay child support. This kind of crap just sickens me. Tell me again why we hold professional athletes up as heroes and role models?

I hate to say it, but I half expect him to be playing for the Raiders at some point,

Posted by Ted at 10:46 PM | Comments (3)

August 28, 2007

Yes, I'm Sad and Pitiful

But well paid, so it evens out.

At work, I am what we used to call in the military, the "shitty little jobs guy". All of the crap tasks that nobody else wants to do get assigned to me. At first, it was because until I was up to speed on the office procedures, it was a way to keep me busy and to free up other people. Now, it's because management has realized that it doesn't matter how dull or thankless the job, I'm going to do the best with it that I can. It's a mixed blessing. On the one hand, I get attaboys for doing these important but excruciatingly mind-numbing tasks each and every day. On the other, I've done them so well that they can't imagine giving them to someone else who won't be as conscientious about it. I'm not bragging here. I've told my manager that I hate doing it with a passion, but as long as it's part of my job, I'll do my best.

So each and every morning, I spend anywhere from an hour to four hours doing mindless and repetitive (and critical) "chores", for lack of a better word. Lately, I've been listening to audio books while I work.

I linked to Podiobooks a while back (oops, I did it again), and most of what I've been enjoying has come from there.

Initial Impressions:

Come, Let Me Whisper - excellent short horror stories. I recently finished Burt's novel, Revelations, and that was very good too. I'm now downloading further episodes of CLMW from his website.

(these others are all available at Podiobooks.com)

Crescent - Science Fiction. I've heard the first two episodes, and so far it's easily keeping my interest.

Shadow Falls - This one is like a cross between Twin Peaks and Rosemary's Baby. By far the best audio production I've heard... as in, excellent sound and effects. It's too soon to tell whether the story can keep up the momentum after an awesome start.

Brave Men Run - an alternate history fiction, with elements reminiscent of The Incredibles. Another excellent beginning.

You download these to your PC or mp3 player, just as you would a podcast. Highly recommended.

Posted by Ted at 08:05 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

August 27, 2007

Laugh Out Loud Funny

From Galacticast, it's:

RoboJew vs. Giant Nazi Woman of the SS

Thanks to Ghost of a flea for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 05:54 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

Soon to be Added to the Blogroll

Over at Primordial Slack, Joan has gotten her first Instalanche. Go visit and be impressed, she's good.

I myself got an Instalanche once. Way back when I first started blogging. The difference is that Joan has gotten her *first* Instalanche, whereas I peaked early.

It's been all downhill for me ever since. But then, you already knew that. ;)

Also, Mad William Flint fell off the ol' radar for awhile, but has made a reappearance in the comments. Another excellent read, and don't miss his take on the new Microsoft Vista.

Posted by Ted at 05:24 AM | Comments (9) | TrackBack

August 26, 2007

Every Silver Lining Has A Dark Cloud In It, and Vice Versa

Hold the Mayo has the pointer, along with these words:

You likely have some familiarity with the Broken Windows theory. It basically holds that a window left broken is an indication that the property is not valued and an invitation to further vandalism. That the effect of that broken window - if not countered - can lead to the eventual decay of the surrounding area.

If broken windows can be seen as an effective predictor of a neighborhood's future, then it must also portend good things - when there is New Glass.

Here's the original post, also well worth reading. Have a taste:

Today the boulevard is wide open and people are walking the streets. Women in abayah's, men in dishdasha, soccer attire, and a few in suits talking on their cell phones. Some people ignore our small convoy, some look suspiciously, and some wave.

There at the first corner, I see it. New glass. Someone has put new glass in a shop. Someone only installs new glass when they think it won't get broken. New glass is confidence.

As we roll though Ramadi I see more stores and small shops open. And more new glass.

New glass.

Posted by Ted at 06:02 PM | Comments (13) | TrackBack

August 23, 2007

You've Dreamed About Doing Stuff Like This! (Updated)

Admit it.

Coming soon to a bookstore near you:

Forbidden LEGO
Build the Models Your Parents Warned You Against

You know you want it. Follow the link to check out some cool video and then tell me you don't.

Once again, Texas Best Grok provides the pointer.

Update: Oh fer cryin' out loud, people! No, it's not porn! Sheesh. I said "bookstore", not "adult bookstore"...

Posted by Ted at 10:13 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

Since I'm On This Audio Kick

Check out this awesome list of free ebook resources!

Umm... yeah, they're not audio.

Thanks to Texas Best Grok for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 10:09 AM | Comments (16) | TrackBack

August 22, 2007

Audible History

I talked a while back about podiobooks.com, and how I've been listening to a few different audiobooks while at work. So far, so great.

One I especially wanted to mention is Great Moments in History. By packaging memorable events in a modern "breaking news" format, you hear analysis of the action from various viewpoints, on-the-scene interviews, and an unfolding of the story that is rich in details that dry history books discard as superfluous.

For instance, during the description of the British surrender at Yorktown, we learn that French Admiral de Grasse, who was blockading the British from the sea and preventing reinforcements from landing, suffered from asthma to such an extent that he sent a deputy to the formal surrender ceremony. Similar details are given in every episode, from the trial and death of Socrates to Thermopylae to Hastings to Salem for the witch trials, and more. Altogether an extraordinary experience.

Highly, highly recommended.

Posted by Ted at 07:52 PM | Comments (1172) | TrackBack

One Ringy-Dingy, Two Ringy-Dingy...

Over at The Dangerous and Daring Blog for Boys and Girls, Victor has posted a nifty piece entitled: How People Lived: The Dial Telephone.

I love this part:

At midnight on Saturday, May 28, 1927, the city of Fresno was converting to dial telephones, so the phone company released this public service announcement to the local theaters, to teach people how to use that brand-new piece of equipment...the dial telephone.

He includes the link to an online archive video showing the PSA, which you can see by clicking the links above (and yes, I'm asking you to follow a link to a link just to drive more traffic to The Dangerous Blog. Neener neener). Well worth it.

Posted by Ted at 05:17 AM | Comments (203) | TrackBack

August 20, 2007

Baseball Nightmares

Bases loaded. Two out. Top of the ninth. Pinch hitter at bat. Wicked curve. Weak popup to first. Game over. *sigh*

Grant says it best, in picture form.

Posted by Ted at 05:09 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

August 13, 2007

China Toys

So the Chinese bigwig who's company had a million toys recalled because of lead paint has committed suicide.

It's all part of Karl Rove's plan to ruin the Chinese economy, one executive at a time.

Related observation: On the news page where I read about that (the suicide, not the global conspiracy conceived and controlled by the evil puppet master Rove), there were two targeted ads. One was warning me about the massive recall of Mattel toys, and the other was encouraging me to invest in China.

Now I'm wondering what I did to piss off Karl Rove.

Posted by Ted at 05:22 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

August 09, 2007

Podiobooks

I don't know what it is about the online community, but they seldom miss an opportunity to give something an odd name.

Podiobooks is a term combining the "pod" from podcasting and audio books. In other words, downloadable audio books, which in itself is nothing new. The twist here is that the books are generally free - ala podcasts - and often the author is the one reading the book. Some places solicit donations that get split between the website (to pay for bandwidth) and the author.

I've started listening to a few from Podiobooks.com, and so far I'm liking it. I use the free aggregator Juice to automatically download chapters as they become available, which is working out nicely. There are lots of aggregators out there to choose from and they make things easier but you don't have to use one if you'd rather not.

So, to give you an idea of what's going on here, I'm enjoyably working my way through Come, Let Me Whisper, which is a collection of horror short stories written by Russell Burt. I use the term "horror" as a catch-all, because the stories range from pure ghost stories to Lovecraftian horror. He's got a website too (at the link above), with plenty more beyond what's offered at Podiobooks.com.

I've also listened to the first chapter of Crescent, which is SciFi set on a space station. So far, so good, and I'm eagerly awaiting the next episode.

The third book I'm working through is called Forever Fifteen. In it, a girl who was involuntarily made a vampire to save her from the black plague is living and trying to cope in the modern day. She is, literally, forever fifteen years old. I almost didn't start after seeing it touted as a cross between V.C. Andrews and Stephen King. I'm not a fan of either author, but I'm giving it a chance. So far, I would prefer a little more King and a little less Andrews, but I'm still engaged enough to keep listening.

So there you go. If you're already listening to podcasts on your mp3 player, then these make a nice alternative. If you already listen to audio books - perhaps in your car during your commute - then these are another source for you to check out. I've selected a couple of horror and a SciFi to start, but there were many other genres to pick from and I'm sure a few minutes with google will turn up many other sources.

Posted by Ted at 05:08 AM | Comments (1)

August 07, 2007

The Dangerous and Daring Blog for Boys and Girls

(sticky: scroll down for new posts)

Folks, I'm proud to announce the launch of a new group blog: The Dangerous and Daring Blog for Boys and Girls (The Dangerous Blog for short).

We hope to fill it with the kind of wonderfulness that you can find in the bestseller "The Dangerous Book for Boys".

Visit, read, comment, bookmark, send email (DangerousBlog@gmail.com), tell your friends, mention us on your blog and/or post links. Whatever you do will be appreciated.

Posted by Ted at 09:50 PM | Comments (25) | TrackBack

August 06, 2007

Pretty Pictures

Japan ran a contest to select the new logo for their Ministry of Defense. You'd think there'd be samurai swords and ninjas, cherry blossoms and rising suns, right?

Nope. Instead, they selected some new-age tree-hugging-ish soda pop logo. Absolutely sickening.

Go check it out over at Who Sucks, along with twenty two other logos from countries around the world. See who gets it right and who gets it oh-so-wrong. Don't forget to log your vote for favorite in the poll at the bottom of the post.

Thanks to Tinkerty Tonk for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 04:02 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

July 31, 2007

The Case for Population Growth

Over at Transterrestrial Musings, Sam has fired up an interesting debate with a post about population growth.

States should not be in the business of pushing people to have babies.

Yes they should. A baby will become a taxpayer and a useful citizen. Zero population growth did far more to hold back development of China and India than Reagan's (anti-) family planning policies.

He goes on with:
A populous world is a rich world. There will be greater grand challenges that can be tackled. There will be more people to conceive more ideas. A world with one trillion people at the current standard of living would have GDP of $10,000 trillion or $10 quadrillion dollars a year. If 0.2% of that was spent on space exploration that would be $20 trillion/year. At $20,000/kg, that's enough to lift one billion kg. At $200/kg, that's enough to allow one billion people to emigrate to space every year.

A populous world can be the Garden of Eden to settle a harsh solar system and galaxy.


Read entire, especially the comments, where an actual exchange of ideas happens, rather than the too-common degeneration into name calling.

Just imagine, millions and millions of young Asian babes... mmmmmmm.

Posted by Ted at 05:41 AM | Comments (204) | TrackBack

July 30, 2007

ZappaStrasse

A fitting tribute:

Frank-Zappa-Strasse or Frank Zappa Street - formerly Street 13 - lies on the eastern outskirts of Berlin amid empty industrial buildings in what was communist East Germany.

The street is home to Orwo Haus, a former Communist-era film factory that now provides practice studios for more than 160 bands.

Musicians at Orwo Haus campaigned for two years to have the street's name changed. Eighteen bands, including the Frank Zappa cover band Sheik Yerbouti, celebrated the renaming this weekend with an all-night concert for more than 2,800 people.

Bravo, Berlin!!!

Posted by Ted at 11:29 AM | Comments (12) | TrackBack

July 27, 2007

"DON'T POUR THE FUEL OR YOU WILL MESS YOUR HELL OF DAY"

This is funny as hell. Some guy over at Amazon has posted reviews of a couple of items using his less than perfect English (link from the comments over at Trying to Grok.

While reviewing an electronic Russian-to-English dictionary, he goes off on an anti-American screed. I think.

And also, those mental condition will never make you to speak another language. FIRST THING YOU HAVE TO KNOW IS KNOW YOURSELF SUCKS BALLS AND YOU CAN BE BETTER AS YOU STUDY, AND TRUST ME IT IS HARD TO REALIZE YOURSELF SUCKR OR NOT.

His review of a Zippo lighter is a bit better, in that he stays on topic and offers lots of handy advice:

I THINK I SOLVED ALL QUESTIONS now, JUST REMEMBER, LIFE TIME GUARANTEE AND YOU JUST CALL THEM AND QUEST THEM TO FIX, THEY WILL DO IT FOR FREE (OF COURSE YOU NEED TO BUY LITTLE POSTAGE-STAMP IN ORDER TO SEND, OR JUST WALK TO CLOSE ZIPPO SHOP, AND THEY WILL NOT CHARGE YOU A CENT FOR IT AND THEY WILL POST BACK TO YOU, OF COURSE FOR FREE)

I wish this guy had a blog.

Posted by Ted at 05:45 AM | Comments (13) | TrackBack

Thinking Blogger Award

thinkingbloggerpf8.jpg

Zoe Brain nominated me for the Thinking Blogger Award, for which I'm very grateful and humbled. I'm also aware that with every recipient nominating five others, that within 17 days everyone in the blogosphere will have the award. Methinks Zoe may be misidentifying thought provoking ideas with the confusion caused by reading my nonsense. That's ok though, I'm not giving it back.

And now I am supposed to link to my five nominations for The Thinking Blogger Award, and since we're all Thinking Bloggers or esteemed readers of a Thinking Blogger, I'm going to label my choices in hexidecimal. Congratulate yourself for understanding the complexities of a 16-base numbering system, and by all means follow the links. These are in no particular order.

1. Hold the Mayo. "The Truth Served Plain", and a long-time friend. He doesn't post often enough, but when he does it's a treat.

2. Lovable Pixie. Not well known yet, but she's got the right idea about starting interesting conversations.

3. Mapgirl's Fiscal Challenge. Financial matters from a young single professional who's a little freaked out about her future.

4. The Ministry of Minor Perfidy. An ecclectic group blog, and by that I mean the guys (and girl) writing there range from a BDS-afflicted commie to a right-wing potential tower-sniper. They post beer recipes too!!!

5. Random Nuclear Strikes. Another group blog, with a major focus on the Pacific Northwest. If tree-hugging hippies piss you off, visit here and get a glimpse of what it's like to live amongst the rainbow-heads.

So there you go. Be honest now, how many folks caught my little trick? Number 4 wasn't hexidecimal, it was actually octal!!! Don't you feel smart? That's why you come by, isn't it? To feel smarter than...

Hey!

Posted by Ted at 05:14 AM | Comments (144) | TrackBack

July 26, 2007

You Say "Tomato", I Say "Worthless Cocksucker With No Honor Whatsoever"

You've probably heard about the "Scott Thomas" affair, even if you don't recognize the norm-de-ploom. The New Republic published supposed first-hand accounts of alleged abuses by US troops in Iraq under the title "Shock Troops".

As you would expect, people across the spectrum reacted in accordance with how well the described actions fit their preconceived notions about the military. Certain shrillbots screamed vindication because this proved what they'd been saying all along. Others on the other end immediately called bullshit.

I am firmly in the "bullshit" camp, mainly because the stories don't pass the smell test. Parts of the story don't add up, and corroborating witnesses are as anonymous as "Scott Thomas". Just in case you haven't heard, here are the three alleged "eyewitness" accounts: 1. Soldiers in a chow hall make fun of a female contractor who has been facially disfigured by an IED. 2. Soldiers uncover a mass grave full of children's bodies and one soldier wears part of a skull like a hat for the remainder of the day. 3. In a Bradley fighting vehicle, the driver purposely and repeatedly swerves to run over dogs. In each of these cases, "Scott Thomas" gives a first-hand account, placing himself as part of the act. Not as an observer, but as a participant.

Over at QandO, like many places on the 'net, the fact checking has begun in earnest. You can follow links as well as anyone if you want to know more about the specifics, but that's not my point for this post.

What has become clear is that too many Americans today lack honor. Furthermore, they have no concept of what honor is or understand why it is such a powerful motivator for those with it.

A quote from the comments at QandO:

Honor or dishonor is irrelevant and a matter of opinion.

That's from a college professor, by the way.

Here's the reply:

No. NO it is not. That you can even make such a claim just shows that you don’t understand what honor is, which probably means that you have none.

Honor isn’t about opinion. It isn’t about supporting someone’s narrative. It isn’t about speaking truth to power. It’s not about agreeing with someone or not. Honor is about honesty, responsibility, integrity and true compassion.

"Scott Thomas" was a participant in these horrible (and alleged) actions. An honorable person would have reported the second and third to their superiors. In the first case, he would've stepped in and stopped the cruel teasing immediately.

So if what he claims is true, then he is just as dishonorable for his actions during as he is if he's lying about it all.

Honor is something found in greater concentration in the military than anywhere else in society. Those who have never served may never be able to grasp what honor is, why it is important, and how it motivates those "poor stoopid kids" to keep volunteering. They will never understand the lofty ideals that honor inspires, the willingness to risk everything to protect even those who refuse to acknowledge it, and the optimistic belief that by performing their mission they are giving each and every one of us the opportunity to thrive and achieve greatness.

Honor isn't an exclusive trait of conservatives or liberals or white people or the left-handed. It doesn't matter if you agree or disagree or like or dislike an honorable person. You will always know in every situation how that honorable person will act. With "honesty, responsibility, integrity and true compassion."

Thanks Michael.

Posted by Ted at 08:05 PM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

July 25, 2007

Voracious Jumbo Squid Invade California!!!

I was all set to panic and then I read the story... they mean Voracious Jumbo Squid Invade the ocean next to California!

Damn.

Posted by Ted at 05:19 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

July 20, 2007

Podcasts! Yay!!!

Episode 6 of the SciFi adventure Silent Universe is up! Clicky here for the previously posted Rocket Jones review.

And the second season of Second Shift has begun!!! Two episodes and a supplimental podcast have already been posted. If you didn't catch the first season, you can still get them by following the link. Here's the Rocket Jones review of the first season.

Hey!!! Oh, uh... Update: I just looked at the new Second Shift advertising flyer and guess who's review is quoted from? Rather prominently, I might add. Woot!!!

Really though, it's a lot of fun. Give 'em a try.

Posted by Ted at 05:18 AM | Comments (12) | TrackBack

July 19, 2007

Now I Just Have to Remember Your Damn Words

A Quiz: How Technologically Useful Are You?

Seven out of ten! I'm almost ready to head back in time and take advantage of my educashun.

Posted by Ted at 11:43 AM | Comments (19) | TrackBack

July 17, 2007

The Underappreaciated Art of Firecracker Labels

You gotta love it!

Psst, Jimbo... check out the "Metallic Crocodile" brand. Woo-hoo! Big fun!

Thanks to Maelstrom for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 07:45 AM | Comments (336) | TrackBack

July 16, 2007

Mookie: Birthday Girl

Yesterday. I didn't forget, except the posting about it part. Good thing I'm married to a woman with a better memory than I.

We didn't go see her because she's up to her neck in her summer job getting the second show up and running. La Boheme premiers on Saturday, we'll be seeing it in two weeks.

"It's an opera." I'll pass on the body-cavity search.

(Points to whoever identifies the reference.)

Posted by Ted at 06:37 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

July 10, 2007

Gee, Who Knew the Pope Was A Republican?

I mean, tossing out the whole "unity" thing.

Pope Benedict XVI has reasserted the universal primacy of the Roman Catholic Church, approving a document released Tuesday that says Orthodox churches were defective and that other Christian denominations were not true churches.

Fair is fair. I remember being told by a Southern Baptist that all Catholics were going to hell.

Posted by Ted at 11:19 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

July 07, 2007

World's Most Dangerous Tourist Route

There's some disagreement in the comments about whether it's in Tibet or China, but still, this is insane

sheer cliffside trail

Follow this link to Damn Cool Pics for more of what the title promises.

Posted by Ted at 07:28 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

July 06, 2007

Remove Head From Ass. Open Mouth. Insert Foot.

Baseball fans know that the San Fransisco Giants stadium is built on the edge of the bay, and that just behind the right field wall is "McCovey Cove", where during any given game many fans float around in kayaks and canoes or anything else that floats. They do this in the hope of catching a home run ball that travels far enough to clear the stadium and plunk into the water.

San Fransisco hosts this year's All-Star Game and it has been announced that motorized watercraft will not be allowed in McCovey Cove for safety reasons. Also, to accomodate the press, the Giants have chartered two media boats for reporters, which prompted this quote:

"Most of the media appreciate this," Daum said. "They didn't know how to charter their own boats."

To which Grant replies:

I knew a guy who majored in Boat Chartering at M.I.T., so I understand where they're coming from. You can't leave that kind of fact-finding and research in the hands of people who do fact-finding and research for a living.

*snicker*

Posted by Ted at 05:13 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

July 04, 2007

We Can Laugh Now

Iowahawk has a first-hand account of the attempted terrorist bombings in London and Glasgow, straight from the horse's ass doctor's mouth. This, my friends, is a hilarious must read.

So okay, the big weekend arrives, and the guys come over to my place bright and early, everybody's jazzed about rolling up some kufr carnage. All the propane tanks and propellant and nail cannisters are ready to go. I look at Ali and say, "okay mate, back up your car to the garage and I'll start loading it up." He gets this dumbstruck look on his face and says, "my car? I thought Hassan was going to do the martyrdom." And then Hassan does a massive spit-take with his tea, and he's like, "whoa dude, I rigged the cell phones, I didn't agree to blow up. I thought Mohammed was going to do the blowing up." Then Mohammed's like, "don't look at me, pal, I thought I was just providing the spiritual guidance. Plus my car's in the shop for transmission work." From there it just descended into this big shouting match. Holy frickin' prophet, two years of planning this prank and now everybody wants to pussy out on the actual martyrdom.

Long story short, we decided to draw straws. And guess who wins? Yep, yours truly, good old sucker Khalid, the same guy with a pile of charge card receipts for petrol and propane and hardware. The same guy who ended up having to host two thirds of the martyrdom planning parties at HIS house, because his good old college "pals" always have some convenient excuse about "kitchen remodeling" or "MI6 surveillance," and never lift a finger to help clean up the empty bottles or paper plates or the C5 mess. Well, you know what they say: no good deed goes unpunished. Then the other short straw get pulled by Bilal, and I'm like, oh, great. Now I'll be banging some celestial virgin with that wanker looking over my shoulder.

So, I'm like, "okay, whose donating the cars?" And these dicks just look around at each other, and ANOTHER big argument breaks out, because "I still have 28 payments left," or "it's due for a tyre rotation," or some other lame excuse. So we draw straws again to pick the explosion cars, and guess who wins? Yup, my Benz, the same fucking car I just paid Ł129.95 to have detailed. So I go to the house and tell my wife Jumanah about the whole deal, and here it comes -- The Look. complete with the whole exasperated eye roll and head shake. I swear, if her dad wasn't my uncle, I'd be tempted to smack that irritating sneer right off her face. So she's like, "fine, go have your fun with your lazy jihad buddies and your 72 virgins. Just leave me the keys to the Jeep so I can get groceries."

There's so much more to the story. Really, go read.

Posted by Ted at 04:29 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

July 03, 2007

I Am So Annoyed That I Didn't Think of This First

ROFLMAO!!!!!

Thanks to Silent Running for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 05:40 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

July 02, 2007

Colorful Inspirations

Here at Rocket Jones, I've had exactly two style designs over the last four years. The "retro" one that you see now, and the original, rather subdued version that lasted for most of three years. Lately I've been giving some thought to another redesign, and looking at different ideas and concepts because I don't want to change things just for the sake of change. The idea is to stretch my HTML/CSS skills, and if it involves some Javascript or other goodies, so much the better.

The point to all this is a link I found:

Color Inspiration from the Masters of Painting

This blog entry examines the color palettes used in several famous paintings. The comments to the post are great too, as designers chip in with the palettes from their favorite paintings.

If you're looking for color ideas (blog or otherwise), this is great inspiration.

Posted by Ted at 05:28 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

July 01, 2007

Intriguing Idea for Baseball's World Series

I can see the appeal of "World Series Weekend" to a lot of people, from players to owners to cities across the country.

Scott Boras loves the World Series so much, he wants to make it best-of-nine -- and open with two games at a neutral site.

Arguing that the shift would create a marketing bonanza that would rival the Super Bowl, Boras outlined his ideas in a two-page letter he sent to baseball commissioner Bud Selig on April 15.

For cities like Chicago and Washington D.C. that haven't seen a World Series at their parks in years, this could be huge.

I especially like these ideas:

He would open the weekend on a Friday night with a televised gala announcing the MVP, Cy Young, Rookie of the Year and Manager of the Year awards, and have the five top candidates for each in attendance.

Hall of Fame voting would be announced Saturday, with the opener that night and Game 2 on Sunday night. After that, the Series would pick up the 2-3-2 format that's been used since 1925...

Not that I think any of this will actually happen, but maybe the proposal will shake up some of the moribund thinking in baseball circles.

Posted by Ted at 08:56 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

June 30, 2007

You Know You're In Trouble When the Associated Press Starts Slapping You Down

Michael Moore's new movie, Sicko, is starting to generate buzz as folks see it. Unfortunately, I don't think that this AP news story is quite what he was hoping for:

But one aspect missing from the film is the defense. Do not expect to hear anyone speak well of the care they received in the U.S. On the other hand, patients and doctors from Canada, Britain, France and Cuba marvel at their health care.

If the bias is that obvious, then even those who wish to believe are going to have trouble with it. I mean, who would've thought you'd see things like this:

Moore tells viewers there are about 50 million people in the U.S. without health insurance.

Just this past week, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimated there are about 43.6 million uninsured people in the country. In March, the Census Bureau put the number at 44.8 million.

That's still a lot, but undercounting by millions?!?! Or how about:

Taking on the pharmaceutical industry, Moore says it spent millions of dollars lobbying Congress for a Medicare prescription drug benefit.

"Of course it was really a bill to hand over $800 billion of our tax dollars to the drug and health insurance industry," he said.

Moore is citing the projected cost for the Medicare drug benefit's first 10 years.

Last year, however, Medicare officials told The Associated Press that the projected cost of the benefit through 2015 stood at about $729 billion, a substantial drop compared with original estimates.

What's that first rule about digging a hole?

Moore also noted the some of the elderly in the drug program could end up paying more for their prescriptions than they did before. That is true. But the vast majority do save because of the tens of billions of dollars in annual government subsidies to help cover the cost of their medicine. The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services says people save about $1,200 a year on average by participating in the program, called Medicare Part D.

We need a bigger shovel.

At one point, Moore notes where the U.S. ranks in terms of health care around the world.

"The United States slipped to No. 37 in health care around the world, just slightly ahead of Slovenia," he said.

That ranking is based on a 2000 report from the World Health Organization that some health analysts viewed as misleading.

Yeah, riiiiiiight. Thirty-seventh.

The rest of the article notes where Moore gets it right, but also points out where he tells half-truths, hides inconvenient facts, and misleads you about the numbers in order to make his opinion seem valid.

Michael Moore is a liar. Too bad too, because I understand that he's a talented filmmaker.

Posted by Ted at 01:20 PM | Comments (39) | TrackBack

June 29, 2007

Tie Dyeing and Fabric Dyeing

While stationed in Germany with the Air Force, my best friend and I got t-shirts for volunteering to help with the Special Olympics. Soon after that, we tie-dyed the shirts. Soon after that, we wore those shirts to a unit picnic. Soon after that, we were ordered to report for urinalysis testing.

Whether you're a drug-addled hippie freak, or just don't get enough chances to pee in a cup, tie-dyed shirts rock. And now, thanks to this site, you can learn how to do fabric dyeing without the enormous amount of waste that most techniques seem to generate. Follow that link for color recipes, step-by-step methods and much, much more.

Posted by Ted at 05:54 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Geeks Are Sexy, Unless They're Just Geeks

Horror stories from the world of computers: WorseThanFailure.com.

Besides the head-shakers and groaners, there are some funny stories (unless they happened to you).

"There's a way to schedule tasks?" Frank replied, surprised.

Of course there is a way. Dripping faucet drips into bucket on seesaw. When bucket is heavy enough, seesaw tips lifting lid off cheese plate. Mouse runs out of hole to eat cheese. String tied to mouse tail pulls crank that pushes pencil into CPU power switch. Computer boots and runs browser from Startup menu. When mouse is full, he runs back to his hole, where a piezoelectric switch starts an electric motor that turns a paddle wheel scooping water out of the bucket and onto the floor. Water runs into surge protector, shorting it out and shutting down the computer. Bucket returns it’s original position. Paddle wheel stops when mouse gets hungry (and loses weight). Water dries, leaving power available for the computer.

Really quite elegant.

Ask anyone in the profession and they'll tell you, Dilbert is a documentary.

Posted by Ted at 05:40 AM | Comments (18) | TrackBack

June 28, 2007

Test Your Energy IQ

Found at Captain's Quarters.

How well do you understand the energy situation as it stands today? Harris conducted a poll among Americans, and the results were pretty dismal. Take the poll below (in the extended entry) for yourself, and then check out the answers here.

Let me know how you did in the comments. I didn't do so hot.

1. What percent of the world’s 10 biggest oil and natural gas companies are owned and operated by foreign governments?

1 25%
2 50%
3 75%
4 100%
5 Not sure


2. Where does ExxonMobil, the largest U.S. oil and natural gas company, rank in size among the world’s largest holders of oil reserves?

1 Among the top 3 oil reserve holders
2 Among 4th to 6th oil reserve holders
3 Among 7th to 10th oil reserve holders
4 Not among the top 10 largest oil reserve holders
5 Not sure


3. What percent of the world’s proven oil reserves do U.S. oil companies control?

1 0% to less than 10%
2 10% to less than 20%
3 20% to less than 30%
4 30% to less than 40%
5 Not sure


4. According to 2006 projections, what percent of global energy demand in 2030 will be met by fossil fuels, such as oil, natural gas and coal?

1 21%
2 41%
3 61%
4 81%
5 Not sure


5. What percent of U.S. domestic energy needs are currently met by imports?

1 10% to less than 25%
2 25% to less than 40%
3 40% to less than 60%
4 60% to less than 80%
5 Not sure


6. In 2006, how many cents did the U.S. oil and natural gas industry earn in profit on every dollar of gasoline sales?

1 1 to 5 cents
2 6 to 10 cents
3 11 to 15 cents
4 16 to 20 cents
5 Not sure


7. What percentage of U.S. oil companies’ stocks are owned by pension plans and retirement accounts?

1 0% to 15%
2 16% to 30%
3 31% to 45%
4 46% to 60%
5 Not sure


8. On average in 2006, what percent of your gasoline dollar went to the following factors? Please select each response only once.

1 Price of crude oil
2 Refining, distribution and service station costs
3 Federal, state, and local taxes

Write which factor above goes with which percentage below

1 56%
2 26%
3 18%

9. Current government policy restricts access to what percentage of potential offshore U.S. oil and natural gas development sites, off the coasts of the lower 48 states?

1 25%
2 45%
3 65%
4 85%
5 Not sure


10. From 2000 through 2005, U.S. oil and gas companies invested how many billions of dollars on emerging energy technologies in North America (such as biomass, wind, solar, alternative fuel vehicles, gas-to-liquids and oil shale)?

1 $1 to less than $25 billion
2 $25 to less than $50 billion
3 $50 to less than 75 billion
4 $75 to 100 billion
5 Not sure


11. According to Oil and Gas Journal, at 2006 production rates, how many years will the global “known reserves” of oil last?

1 20 years
2 40 years
3 50 years
4 60 years
5 Not Sure


12. According to 2007 data, what percentage of U.S. energy use is currently supplied by renewable sources?


1 0% to less than 10%
2 10% to less than 20%
3 20% to less than 30%
4 30% or more
5 Not sure

13. According to 2007 projections, what percentage of U.S. energy use will be supplied by renewable sources by 2030?

1 0% to less than 10%
2 10% to less than 20%
3 20% to less than 30%
4 30% or more
5 Not sure


14. What percentage of gasoline used in the U.S. would be replaced by ethanol, using current corn-based production technology, if every acre of corn was used for ethanol production exclusively?

1 0 to 10%
2 11% to 25%
3 26% to 40%
4 41% to 55%
5 Not sure


15. What percentage of cars on the road today are designed to operate using the fuel E-85 (a fuel mixture that is 15% gasoline and 85% ethanol)?

1 0% to 5%
2 6% to 10%
3 11% to 15%
4 16% to 20%
5 Not sure


16. In 2030 what percentage of the U.S. light-duty car fleet will be made up of flexible fuel vehicles able to run on E-85 (a fuel mixture that is 15% gasoline and 85% ethanol)?


1 0% to 6%
2 7% to 10%
3 11% to 15%
4 16% to 20%
5 Not sure


17. In the history of the world, the energy industry has produced about a trillion barrels of oil and developed about another trillion into proved reserves for future production. How much recoverable conventional oil does the U.S. Geological Survey estimate remains to be discovered in the future?

1 About half of the oil that has already been produced
2 Between 1 and 2 times the amount of oil that has already been produced
3 Between 3 and 4 times the amount of oil that has already been produced
4 Between 5 and 6 times the amount of oil that has already been produced
5 Not sure


18. In 2006, which of the following countries was the largest U.S. supplier of oil?

1 Saudi Arabia
2 Canada
3 Venezuela
4 China
5 Not sure

19. In 2006, what percent of oil the U.S. consumes came from the Persian Gulf countries?

1 Less than 15%
2 16 to 30%
3 31 to 45%
4 46 to 60%
5 Not sure


20. In 2006, the U.S. imported what percent of its oil?

1 20%
2 40%
3 60%
4 80%
5 Not sure

Posted by Ted at 05:44 AM | Comments (440) | TrackBack

June 27, 2007

This one is going on the sidebar too

Thanks to QandO for this one!

Classic.

Posted by Ted at 08:30 PM | Comments (199) | TrackBack

Every Time We Think We've Got It Figured Out...

You remember what you learned about RNA, right? They're basically molecular dump trucks, running back and forth and collecting the building blocks needed to create proteins in the human body.

That may be a more apt description than we thought, because suddenly scientists are discovering that the "dump trucks" may be just a small percentage of the entire RNA "fleet".

Time to rethink what we thought we knew about DNA and evolution.

What is being proposed is the inheritance of characteristics acquired during an individual's lifetime, rather than as the result of chance mutations. This was first suggested by Jean Baptiste Lamarck, before Charles Darwin's idea of natural selection swept the board. However, even Darwin did not reject the idea that Lamarckian inheritance had some part to play, and it did not disappear as a serious idea until 20th-century genetic experiments failed to find evidence for it.

They're seeing hints pointing to that evidence now. This isn't an alternative to evolution, it's the idea that our bodies tweak the DNA that we pass along according to experiences that occur during our lifetime.

Thanks to Transterrestrial Musings for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 11:45 AM | Comments (11) | TrackBack

June 26, 2007

More LEGO Virtuosity

Hella cool, in a deep down in your gut kinda way.

Posted by Ted at 05:52 AM | Comments (474) | TrackBack

June 25, 2007

Murdering Capitalist Running Dogs, One Family At A Time

The headline says it all:

In German crash test, China's Brilliance BS6 sedan fails miserably

"Fails miserably" is the understatement of the year. The thing is a deathtrap, and after seeing the photos of the crash results, you'll realize that "deathtrap" isn't hyperbole.

Posted by Ted at 11:36 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

Smile For The Camera, Even If You're Wearing A Mask

Thanks to a good bud for sending me this link:

The traffic cameras in England are called Gatsos after the manufacturer. Apparently destroying the cameras has become popular sport. Here are four pages of photos showing how people fight back against government surveillance.

Posted by Ted at 05:24 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 24, 2007

Mama Always Said I Was Good Fer Nothin'

Thanks to Michele, who's taking a brief break.
$5425.00The Cadaver Calculator - Find out how much your body is worth

Mingle2 - Online Dating


I wonder if that's calculated by the pound?

Posted by Ted at 05:55 PM | Comments (17) | TrackBack

This Looks Like Fun

In Garrett County, Maryland, a new resort has opened that features a man-made white water rafting course. Built with boulders quarried from the mountain and concrete, there are steel plates at the bottom of the run that can redirect the current to alter the difficulty of the experience from class II to class IV. Cost is $50.00 for a two hour slot, which includes about a half hour of instruction, and four or more runs through the rapids. The water recirculates through a calm "lake" portion as you circle back to the top of the rapids. Looks like they offer kayaking classes too.

Posted by Ted at 05:46 PM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

June 21, 2007

News From Iraq: the Good, the Bad, the Ugly

If you aren't reading Michael Yon, you should be. He's been embedded in Iraq for quite some time now and writing about what he sees.

About the current big operation going on:

The enemy in Baqubah is as good as any in Iraq, and better than most. That’s saying a lot. But our guys have been systematically trapping them, and have foiled some big traps set for our guys. I don’t want to say much more about that, but our guys are seriously outsmarting them. Big fights are ahead and we will take serious losses probably, but al Qaeda, unless they find a way to escape, are about to be slaughtered. Nobody is dropping leaflets asking them to surrender. Our guys want to kill them, and that’s the plan.

A positive indicator on the 19th and the 20th is that most local people apparently are happy that al Qaeda is being trapped and killed. Civilians are pointing out IEDs and enemy fighters, so that’s not working so well for al Qaeda.


Unvarnished truth about civilian casualties, access to information and the daily lives of coalition troops in Iraq. From the point, not from inside the Green Zone.

Posted by Ted at 04:46 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

June 20, 2007

New Reviews!

Over at Joe Horror. My contributions this week include reviews of The Curious Dr. Humpp, Waxwork and Waxwork II: Lost in Time.

Posted by Ted at 05:03 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

June 19, 2007

Pushing Up Happy Little Daisies

If you're a Bob Ross fan, you'll get the joke up above.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that You Tube has quite a few Bob Ross "Joy of Painting" episodes available, as well as plenty of wicked funny parodies of the gentle man.

Thanks to Brian J though, for pointing out this video inspired by Bob Ross, titled "Why I Don't Paint People". I love it.

Posted by Ted at 07:18 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 18, 2007

Terrorism Goes To The Movies

I don't have a "Beautiful Sarcasm" category, so this will go under "Cult Flicks" and "Links".

The title is "Terrorism Goes to the Movies" (yep, I stole it for the title above), and it was written last September. Here's a snippet about the movies Alien and the sequel Aliens:

...I have to point out that I was repelled by the socio-political message this movie sends. A team of US Colonial Marines is dispatched to a colony to kill illegal alien beings there. No one mentioned obtaining approval from the United Nations for unilaterally attacking these illegal aliens. And the diplomatic factor was absolutely non-existent, no effort whatever was made to deal reasonably with these illegal aliens, to give them a chance to stand down and cease their hostilities. At no point did the US characters ever ask, "Why do they hate us?"

While it's true an illegal alien killed every member of Ripley's original Nostromo space ship crew without any warning whatever, a stunning surprise attack that terrorized the crew during a meal, there were no follow-up efforts to negotiate any sort of peace with the freedom-fighter -- they just unilaterally decided to kill it, as was the case with a group of these alien beings in the sequel. After the first attack on the Nostromo, everyone should have simply turned the page and moved on. After all, what's passed is past, it's old news. In the sequel, there was no patience or diplomacy whatever in dealings with the illegal aliens, the crew simply attacked and attempted to kill all of them they could.

What if the illegal aliens were driven by an ancient religion that required them to kill all the members of any other species they encountered? Who were these Marines, to question that cultural ideal? The message this sends about such creatures is that the only way to stop them is to kill them, or they will always be striving to kill you. The Marines should have done some yoga instead, and asked themselves again and again, "Why do they hate us?" They at least should have sent in some inspectors -- and if that failed, they should have given the inspections more time to work. Nothing in the world will deter terrorism more effectively than giving inspectors more time.


There is so much more there, funny and oh-so-true.

Posted by Ted at 05:23 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

June 17, 2007

Take Me Out to the Ballgame

Liz and I travelled to the wilds of Maryland last night to see our local team, the Potomac Nationals, play the Frederick Keys. We met up with Nic and Victor and had a great time, although I discovered to my dismay that the P-Nats (a cringe-worthy nickname, if ever I've heard one), suck just as bad on the road as they do at home.

Afterwards, being that we were only a few miles from CharlesTown, we went there and Liz spent a few hours playing the slots. We dragged in, tired but happy (and a tad poorer), at 5am. Liz is still sleeping, and I've spent the morning enjoying Father's Day cards, talking to the girls on the phone and just generally chilling out.

Life is good.

Posted by Ted at 11:41 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

You Learn Something Every Day

For instance:

The vervet monkey has a vivid blue scrotum which pales when the animal falls in social rank.

But knowing that is mere trivia. The inquisitive mind wants to know why?

Follow that link and be enlightened. Heh.

Posted by Ted at 08:31 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 15, 2007

If Loving This Is Wrong, I Don't Want To Be Right

Ooo! Ahhh!

Thanks to Triticale for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 05:24 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Donnie Darko Fan?

Why yes, I am. Not to the degree of obsession that some folks have...

The IMDB Donnie Darko FAQ.

Posted by Ted at 05:15 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

June 14, 2007

Appreciative of the Chance to Revive an Old Joke

Former U.N. chief Kurt Waldheim has died. He was a long-time sufferer of what came to be known as "Waldheimer's Disease". You know, the one that makes you forget that you're a Nazi.

Posted by Ted at 10:12 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

June 13, 2007

Apparently We've All Got A Rich Uncle Somewhere

Check out this fascinating map of the USA, where each state has been renamed to a country with a similar GDP. My biggest gripe is that according to this, I was born in France.

Non! Thanks to QandO for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 10:41 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Getting It Right

In the front yard flower beds, I finally decided to go all-perennial this year.

After much perusal of the various catalogs, we decided on a variety of plants from Spring Hill Nursery. One variety is still back-ordered, which is annoying, but two others have been in the ground awhile and are doing beautifully (that last link is to the pink variety, we have the white).

In the front bed, I envisioned this nice purple lavender hedge. Unfortunately, the first batch of six arrived dead and dessicated. Spring Hill immediately shipped a second set, which arrived in slightly better condition, but still not better enough to survive.

This morning in my email inbox was a note letting me know that a credit was on the way. No fuss, no hassle, just making it right.

I'm thinking we're going to order more pincusion flowers. Their "real" name is scabiosa, but they're too pretty to be calling them that.

Disclaimer: There are a lot of negative reviews of Spring Hill out on the net. I've been through some of what a many folks complain about, but it's about what I expect when I deal with them. I'm satisfied with them, but I'm patient. It's what gardening is all about.

Posted by Ted at 05:13 AM | Comments (223) | TrackBack

June 12, 2007

Sickening

I called in today thanks to a case of the trots. Trying to commute to work in that condition is a little too much like gambling, especially since at the end of the ride I spend another 15 minutes going through card-key checkpoints, turnstiles and cypher-lock doors before getting to my desk (and access to the bathroom).

Speaking of sick, have you heard the latest from the formerly-great state of California?

“Unbelievable” was the reaction from PetPAC today after Members of the California State Assembly voted 41-38 to outlaw the existence of mixed-breed dogs and cats in the Golden State.

Assembly Bill 1634, authored by Los Angeles Assemblyman Lloyd Levine, will allow only select purebred dogs and cats to breed. Pet owners who don’t sterilize their mixed breed pets by four months of age will face a $500 fine and possible criminal penalties.


If you believe that the answer to America's problems is more government, then you are a fool.

Thanks to Random Nuclear Strikes for pointing that one out. If I wasn't ill before, I am now.

Posted by Ted at 02:01 PM | Comments (28) | TrackBack

June 11, 2007

You Don't Know My Damn Words

But you can, if you head over to Joe Horror and read the latest movie reviews. My contributions this week are The Ryli Morgan Collection (for you indie movie lovers), and Hot Wax: Zombies on Wheels.

Posted by Ted at 05:13 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

June 07, 2007

Screw iPhone

I want *Surface*!!!!!!!

Thanks to QandO for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 06:51 PM | Comments (45) | TrackBack

Shamelessly Stolen

From Grant, over at the McCovey Chronicles:

All-Time Team of Great-Named Giants Draftees:

C - Giuseppe Chiaramonte
1B - Turtle Zaun
2B - Van Fixico
3B - James Snoots
SS - Monico Corral
OF - Sylvester Love
OF - Reuben Smiley
OF - Wynter Phoenix

P - Boof Bonser
P - Kavonski Chatman
P - Everhard Griffiths
P - Harlan Highfill
P - Skip Pitlock


Honorable Mention, Uncomfortable Question Regarding Parents' Ethnicity Division: Juan Eichelberger


Everhard?

Posted by Ted at 05:00 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

June 05, 2007

Oh Dear

By now, you've probably seen the official logo for the 2012 Olympics in London.

_43005619_london_new_pink_203_2.gif

Personally, I kinda like it, although as a logo it's got just about everything wrong. Take another look at it, and tell me if you don't agree that it looks like Lisa Simpson giving a blowjob.

Follow that link for the hilarious animated version, and thanks to QandO for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 06:28 PM | Comments (426) | TrackBack

Warning: Fun Ahead

Here's what I did using this Warning Label Generator:

warninglabel.jpg

It's going into the banner rotation.

Thanks to Brad Isaac for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 05:28 AM | Comments (443) | TrackBack

June 04, 2007

Tactics Evolve

The frightening thing about this photo is the potential effectiveness. Maybe we can help support the troops by calling our congress-critters and demanding that more beer be sent to our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Thanks to Jay Tea at Wizbang for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 04:55 AM | Comments (31) | TrackBack

June 01, 2007

Teaching History

This looks very cool: Junior Generals.

The idea is that you print out the various forces involved in major battles in history, and let the students game the results using simplified battle rules.

Posted by Ted at 11:08 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

May 30, 2007

My Latest Horror Movie Reviews

Over at Joe Horror, I review Misty Mundae's Bite Me! (mutant spiders, yay!) and the classic The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. Lots of other good reviews posted too.

Posted by Ted at 10:16 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Beautiful

This is a must see video. Amazing. Thanks to Dustbury.

Posted by Ted at 10:11 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 27, 2007

Open Purse for Terse Verse

100-word stories have long been one of the features of Blog d'Elisson, and apparently he's now found someone demented enough to run with the idea. You can now buy "Shorts in a Wad: One Hundred 100-Word Stories" at Amazon.com.

You go buy now, he love you short time.

Posted by Ted at 04:31 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Old School

Mrs. Jones has posted some links to the old Schoolhouse Rock videos. I spent a while singing along with them again.

Conjunction Junction, What's Your Function?...

Posted by Ted at 08:51 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

May 25, 2007

Like Father, Like Son I Guess

St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Josh Hancock died recently in an auto accident. He rear-ended a tow truck that was stopped in the lane of the road to assist a disabled vehicle. He was driving drunk (almost twice the legal limit), talking on a cell phone, not wearing a seat belt, speeding, and there was pot found in the wreckage of his SUV.

Now his father is suing. First, the bar that served his son alcohol, even though he's been described as a "regular" there. Also named in the lawsuit is the tow truck company and driver, because they should've been professional enough to have already have moved the disabled vehicle out of the roadway. While he's at it, he's suing the driver of the disabled vehicle for failing to maintain it well enough to keep it from breaking down. The vehicle that stalled had spun out after being cut off by another car, barely avoiding an earlier accident.

It's obvious that the dead kid had inherited his father's rotten judgement. I wonder if he was a clueless asshole with a victim-complex too?

Posted by Ted at 06:51 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 23, 2007

Photos from the Team America Rocketry Challenge

A nice slideshow of photos of the Team America Rocketry Challenge, from DoD (just click the "next" button at the bottom to scroll through).

Thanks to Pratt Hobbies blog for the pointer!

Posted by Ted at 04:57 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 22, 2007

Psst...

*whisper* Rachel Lucas is back! */whisper*

*sqeeeeee!!!!!!*

Posted by Ted at 10:46 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

May 15, 2007

Mookie in the News

Her Directorial debut.

Posted by Ted at 07:41 PM | Comments (13) | TrackBack

May 11, 2007

Best Headline of the Day

Yankees' Wang Hit Hard

Fastball or thrown bat?

Posted by Ted at 05:49 AM | Comments (53) | TrackBack

May 09, 2007

Booms

Boomshine. An addictive little flashgame with a beautiful musical score. Thanks to the Llama Butchers for pointing this one out.

Meanwhile, over at Random Nuclear Strikes, David attended this year's Boomershoot (follow that link and be sure to check out the second page for more pictures and video). Basically, Boomershoot is an event where you shoot exploding targets at long range. Great fun, and some beautiful gun porn if you're into that sort of thing.

Posted by Ted at 05:59 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 08, 2007

ROFLMAO

Thanks to QandO for pointing this one out!!!

Former President Clinton provided clues for today's NY Times crossword puzzle, and Wonkette was kind enough to get us started.

Posted by Ted at 10:54 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 03, 2007

Online SciFi

DeDoc is the editor of Voices/Future Tense, an online Science Fiction anthology. Issue 5 is up!

Posted by Ted at 06:58 PM | Comments (9) | TrackBack

Swordfight? Really?

I have no problem believing the rest of this video (language alert and adult themes). Besides, who *doesn't* enjoy beating up on ol' Tom Cruise anymore?

How Gay is Top Gun?

Thanks to Owlish, who's back on the blogroll after falling off the radar a while back.

Posted by Ted at 05:20 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

May 02, 2007

Somebody Didn't Get the Memo

I was kidding, guys.

Yet over at QandO, they found someone who isn't.

Posted by Ted at 11:38 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 01, 2007

Surprising

Rocket Jones is number one if you search Google for "Buckethead Son".

Posted by Ted at 05:29 AM | Comments (12) | TrackBack

April 30, 2007

It's Been Awhile

Yay, Viking Kitties!

Posted by Ted at 11:43 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Three Sentences

Found these over at Random Nuclear Strikes.

Comrades! We must abolish the cult of the individual decisively, once and for all. -- Nikita Khrushchev

All our lives we fought against exalting the individual, against the elevation of the single person. -- Vladimir Lenin
We must stop thinking of the individual and start thinking about what is best for society. -- Hillary Clinton

Frightening, innit?

Posted by Ted at 11:28 AM | Comments (233) | TrackBack

April 29, 2007

Only the Second Time in History

Fire melts steel and reinforced concrete collapses. I wonder when Rosie will claim that the government secretly wired the overpasses for demolition?

Just to get even with those lefty Californians, no doubt.

Posted by Ted at 05:34 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

April 28, 2007

Probably Not What They Had In Mind

By "they", I'm talking about Mapgirl and Sarah of Trying to Grok, who are both avid knitters.

By "what", I'm talking about yarn porn. Or more correctly, some anatomically-correct naughty bits you can knit for yourself. Apparently some of the items are used as training aids in various childbirth classes, but some are just... naughty. And funny, like this Willie Warmer (that link opens a pop-up window, and yes, the pun is intentional).

A little helpful advice from the comments there:

Just don't make that Willie Warmer out of an itchy wool!

Indeed.

Posted by Ted at 09:29 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

April 27, 2007

Facades

I am a San Fransisco Giants baseball fan. I could also have said, "I loath the Los Angeles Dodgers", which means the same thing. It's more than a rivalry, it's a universal constant, a diametric opposite, much like (to borrow a pop culture reference) Buffy against the evil soul-stealing vampires (which is more apt than the average baseball fan realizes).

"Oh sure", I can hear some of you saying, "Ted, you're really blowing this out of proportion." You really think so? Thanks to Grant, over at the McCovey Chronicles, we have solid proof (for you non-Giants fans). Take a gander at this:

dantes_stadium2.jpg

It's no accident that the Dodgers are *the* team for Hollywood.

Posted by Ted at 08:33 AM | Comments (73) | TrackBack

April 26, 2007

That Wascawwy Newton

The Cartoon Laws of Physics.

Cartoon Law 1: Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation.

Thanks to a commenter at QandO for pointing this one out.

Posted by Ted at 05:18 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

April 25, 2007

Coincidence?

Dow Jones breaks 13,000.

Rosie leaving The View.

Surrrrre it is. Ain't conspiracy theories fun?

Posted by Ted at 12:14 PM | Comments (1)

April 24, 2007

About Time

I stole the title from I Travel By Bubble, where I found the link too.

The Wiccan pentacle has been added to the list of emblems allowed in national cemeteries and on goverment-issued headstones of fallen soldiers, according to a settlement announced Monday.

According to the story, there are 38 different "symbols of belief" allowed on the headstones, including a few I'd never heard of. Also notice that the pentacle is an upright star in a circle, not the cheesy upside-down version used by Satan Worshippers in horror movies.

Posted by Ted at 05:13 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

April 23, 2007

Pet Food Poisoning

May have been intentional.

Food and Drug Administration investigators say the Chinese companies may have spiked products with the chemical melamine so that they would appear, in tests, to have more value as protein products.

Officials now suspect this possibility because a second ingredient from China, rice protein concentrate, has tested positive for melamine. So has corn gluten shipped to South Africa.

Thanks to The Ministry of Minor Perfidy for the pointer (in the comments).

Posted by Ted at 05:18 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

Quote of the Day

Over at QandO, in reference to France:

...a country that fought Disney and McDonalds harder than it fought the Nazis still has a reason to blush a bit.

Zing!

Posted by Ted at 03:54 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

April 21, 2007

After Annexing Canada, We Can Deal With Those Uppity Vulcans

What did Canada ever do to us? Two words: Northwest Passage. Two more words: Global Warming. Oh yes, there are patterns within patterns within patterns.

Speaking of which, courtesy of Zoey Brain, this uber-cool interactive star map. Go check it out. Really, this is amazing.

Posted by Ted at 06:47 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

April 15, 2007

Too Much Respect To Go for the Easy "Ho" Joke

Don Ho passed away at the age of 76.

Most famous for his song "Tiny Bubbles", the man was a high school football star good enough to get a sports scholarship on the mainland. During the Korean war he piloted cargo planes between Hawaii and Tokyo.

When he returned home and took over his parents' struggling neighborhood bar, Honey's, he put together a band and started performing at his father's request.

"I had no intention of being an entertainer," Ho said. "I just played songs I liked from the radio, and pretty soon that place was jammed. Every weekend there would be lines down the street."

Honey's became a happening place on Oahu, with other Hawaiian musicians stopping in for jam sessions. Ho began to play at various spots in Hawaii, then had a breakout year in 1966, when appearances at the Coconut Grove in Hollywood helped him build a mainland following, and the release of "Tiny Bubbles" gave him his greatest recording success.

Soon he was packing places such as the Flamingo Hotel in Las Vegas. Stars such as Lucille Ball, Sammy Davis Jr. and Frank Sinatra were known to be in the audience for Ho's shows.

Ho also became a television star, and hosted the "The Don Ho Show" on ABC from 1976-77. One of Ho's most memorable TV appearances was a 1972 cameo on an episode of "The Brady Bunch."

"I've had too much fun all these years," he said in the 2004 interview. "I feel real guilty about it."

He did his final show last Thursday night.

Posted by Ted at 06:43 AM | Comments (1)

April 11, 2007

CheatSheets!

If you do html, css, java, php, regular expressions, etc.


Posted by Ted at 05:11 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

April 10, 2007

I Don't Know What's Wrong With Me, But I Bet It's Hard To Pronounce

Down below, the title "I Vaaaaant to Suck Your Blooooooood", about the Dracula opera... while I was typing that, I was singing it in my head along with some quickie made-up song lyrics...

...to the tune of the theme from Ice Castles!

For those wondering, Robbie Benson said "We forgot about the flowers" to Lexie at the end of that movie. Welcome to the Rocket Jones Sensitive Moment.

And here's a page chock full o' midi files, including *three* versions of "Through the Eyes of Love." The middle version - labeled (1) - is the best.

Posted by Ted at 06:20 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

April 09, 2007

K's Moving Pictures

From the host of K's Lounge (NSFW), a new site featuring videos of sexy asian ladies dancing and doing, er... naughty things.

Posted by Ted at 05:55 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

April 08, 2007

Knit Your Own Bunny

Awwwww, how cute.

Posted by Ted at 07:32 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 07, 2007

Marketing 101

Over at Dawn's Place.

2. You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and, pointing at you, says, “She’s fantastic in bed.” That’s Advertising.

The explanation for Junk Mail is priceless.

Posted by Ted at 11:14 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

April 06, 2007

Quick! Hand me that clue-by-four!

Brewer Anhauser-Busch comes out with a new energy drink called Spyke, which contains 12 percent alcohol. The packaging is miniature, since the product is sold in 2 ounce portions. Naturally, some people who just want to "protect the children" are insisting that the product be removed from the market.

"Saying that it is the parent's responsibility to keep it out of the hands of young people is absolutely ridiculous," Hacker said.

Parenting? Why bother, when we can just pass a law.

Posted by Ted at 06:25 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

April 04, 2007

Festival of Frugality

There is something for everyone on this big ol' internet, and one my hang outs are the personal finance blogs.

This week, the loverly Mapgirl is hosting the 68th edition of the Festival of Frugality. I highly recommend you go check it out. Who knows? You might discover a new addition to your blogroll.

PS: A great demonstration of frugality is our semi-regular minor league baseball game blogmeets. I mean, why pay major league prices for minor league quality? And yeah, that's a slam on the Washington Nationals.

Posted by Ted at 05:13 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

April 03, 2007

A Mashup Made In Heaven Hell

A Hard Day's Night of the Living Dead.

Thanks to Dustbury for the pointer (and he saw it here).

Posted by Ted at 06:08 PM | Comments (25) | TrackBack

April 02, 2007

The Best and the Worst April Fool's Day Pranks

100 Best of all time (Sidd Finch is #2).

The Lincoln Memorial has also been sold, though to a different corporation, and would now be known as the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial -- White House press secretary Mike McCurry, when asked about the supposed sale of the of the Liberty Bell to the Taco Bell Corporation, who announced plans to rename it the Taco Liberty Bell.

10 Worst of all time.

Imagine reading that your husband or brother who has been held in a squalid Romanian prison for years is finally going to be released. You make the long journey to the prison and stand outside the prison gates, waiting desperately for the moment you'll be reunited with your loved one, only to hear... 'April Fools! No one's being released!'

Those wacky Romanians.

Posted by Ted at 05:51 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

March 28, 2007

Playground

I've been spending time over at the new Minx beta test site. Stop by, leave comments and pings, and let's all give this puppy a serious workout.

Posted by Ted at 10:49 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

March 26, 2007

Big Warm Fuzzy Secret Heart

Me Code Monkey too.

Thanks Pixy, that's awesome.

By the way, I've watched all three versions, and although the sound quality isn't as good as the first one, I like the video of the girl dancing the best. I just think she captured the song, and I loved her facial expressions.

Posted by Ted at 03:49 PM | Comments (390) | TrackBack

March 24, 2007

Alzheimer's Gardens

While googling about for garden-related information (spring is in the air!), I came across this site about designing a garden for those aflicted with Alzheimer's.

Good garden design can be part of a treatment plan for people with Alzheimer's who are very restless or agitated and who like or need to walk a lot...

You can plan a garden that allows access outside but always leads the wandering person back to their house or building.

Think about visibility and observation so caregivers can relax if they use the time for separate pursuits.

I'd never thought about it before, but it makes perfect sense. Or maybe I have thought of it before, but it still makes perfect sense.

Posted by Ted at 07:26 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Anti-Zombie Rifle Project

Now here's a man who takes preparations for the undead apocolypse seriously.

Thanks to Random Nuclear Strikes for pointing this one out.

Posted by Ted at 07:18 AM | Comments (188) | TrackBack

March 21, 2007

No Spitting Either!

China has unveiled their official Olympic logo:
OlympicChina.jpg

Image stolen from the Jawas, who got it from somewhere else.

Posted by Ted at 07:46 PM | Comments (0)

March 19, 2007

Unknown Kadath Mountaineering Club?

It's no secret that I am a huge Lovecraft fan, which is why I dearly love this shirt.

Thanks to the Flea for this link and others of a Cthulhu bent.

Posted by Ted at 11:28 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 18, 2007

Google Chumming As Hard As I Can

Warning: Indelicate Language Follows.

Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks!

Ok, so remember when I said that my DVD drive went kaput a couple of weeks ago? The laptop was still under warranty, so I took it in to the "Geek Squad"* and they had it for two weeks. It came back in a reasonable time, called me when it arrived and when I picked it up the itemized receipt showed that they had replaced the DVD drive.

Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks!

There was also a note saying that the DVD drive was not accessable from "My Computer" (or anywhere else, as it turns out) because of a software problem. You know what the software problem is? They didn't bother to install the fucking device driver for the new goddamned drive!!! They booted from the drive to ensure that it worked, and that was it. Installing the driver is my problem because the warranty doesn't cover "software".

Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks!

Of course, finding and then installing the new driver from the internet turned into a bit of a hassle (translation: major fucking ordeal) that corrupted the Windows bootup, so I had to restore back two days to get back to normal. I still don't have a DVD drive working - yet - and once I calm down I'll try again.

Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks!

*"Geek Squad" gets their own special rant. What is it with this juvenile cutsie bullshit? Do they think anyone is impressed with their psuedo-military codenames on their paperwork? C'mon... "Tactical Analysis"? I fucking told you that the goddamned DVD drive didn't work. If this is the best you can do with your mad computer skillz then I suggest immediate suicide, because you're a goddamned loser and there is no fucking hope for a dickhead like you.

Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks! Best Buy Sucks!

Posted by Ted at 04:28 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

March 15, 2007

Maybe Someone Sells "Hypocritical Asshole" Offsets?

According to this editorial, the supposedly "green" Prius is an environmental nightmare, especially when compared to the Hummer.

Thanks to the Jawas for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 05:59 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

March 09, 2007

Dredging Up A Little History

The Llama Butchers note that today is the anniversary of the battle between the Monitor and the Virginia (aka Merrimac). That rang a bell, faintly, and I recalled a post I made way back on the history of ironclads in the US Navy. There were more of them than you realize.

Posted by Ted at 10:50 AM | Comments (0)

Not As Good As "Sofa King", But Pretty Darned Good

From Dustbury, a link to this page of cleverly named portable toilet companies.

Around here, the common names are "Johnny on the Spot" and "Don's Johns". If I ever need a second career, maybe "Ted's Heads"...

Posted by Ted at 07:19 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 08, 2007

The Greatest Computer Game Ever

M.U.L.E.

Plus, a brief bio about its tragic, underappreciated creator.

For those wishing to play this classic today, follow this link.

Posted by Ted at 11:35 AM | Comments (0)

*wiping tears of laughter*

I've never seen an elephant wearing glasses, but then again, I'm sure I've never read a news story that begins:

MASTURBATING an elephant in the cause of science isn’t an easy job...

Llama Butchers, damn you, tomato soup *hurts* when it comes out your nose!

Posted by Ted at 11:30 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

March 05, 2007

Not To Brag, But...

List all 50 states in ten minutes.

I did it in 4:53, but spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to spell &@*#! Massachusetts.

Thanks to Transterrestrial Musings for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 05:24 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

March 04, 2007

"Cute" Is Just A Disguise

I've said before that Ladybugs creep me out. In the spirit of "know thy enemy", I found this page with all kinds of information and pictures about ladybugs. *shudder*

Lots of info there, although some of the links seem to have expired.

Posted by Ted at 08:03 AM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

February 28, 2007

It's As Hot As The Surface Of The Sun, Perfectly Suitable For A Spot Of Culture!

In Nevada, the Goldwell Open Air Museum.

Ignore the pretentious bullshit such as:

[a] group of prominent Belgian artists created a self-described art situation

Just follow the link, check out the photos, and bask in the cool.

Posted by Ted at 11:59 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

You Can't Hit What You Can't See

At least, that's what they used to say, now you can't even hit what you can see.

"I can't see the [expletive deleted] thing," said RAAF Squadron Leader Stephen Chappell, exchange F-15 pilot in the 65th Aggressor Squadron. "It won't let me put a weapons system on it, even when I can see it visually through the canopy. [Flying against the F-22] annoys the hell out of me."

Your tax dollars at work, and apparently delivering what was promised.

Thanks to QandO for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 11:15 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 27, 2007

Doom, I Tell You, DOOOOOM!!!

I laughed my ass off during my commute home today. Newsradio breathlessly announced, "Stock Market Crumbles".

Holy shit! I needed to hear more!!! I mean, China had a bad tumble overnight and just yesterday Alan Greenspan said the "R" word in a conversation.

After the commercial break, "upcoming stories" told me that the market had been down 500 points today, which is a big deal. Less than two minutes later I'm given the details that the 500 point loss was the low point of the day, and that currently the loss was 340 points. Still bumpy, but not the end of the world.

Five minutes later, the loss was reported as 305 points. Now I'm chuckling, especially when they remind everyone that today's "3 percent drop" pales in comparison to Black Monday in 1987 when the market dropped 22%.

Two minutes later and the loss is less than 300 points. This is comical.

I realize that the market will rise and fall (last week it set a new record high). I also know that over time, the stock market always goes up. I have a 401k and hardly ever pay attention to the market, other than in a general way. For instance, I've known that for weeks there have been warnings about a sell-off being long overdue. Today was the excuse everyone needed.

I don't even know what the final figures for the day are. I do know that it's not the panic-inducing event those nitwit broadcasters tried to make it out to be.

Posted by Ted at 04:19 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

OJ Might Have Lots of Company While He Searches

The highest U.N. court cleared Serbia on Monday of direct responsibility for genocide against Bosnia. Serbia argued an obscure point that the court agreed with, which means that the Srebrenica massacre, targeted entirely at Bosnian Muslims (and filling more than eighty mass graves), was technically genocide, but not really Serbia's fault even though it was commited by Serbian troops. Or something nuanced like that.

Small comfort.

Posted by Ted at 11:56 AM | Comments (32) | TrackBack

Cool New DooDad

Over at QandO, I learned about this nifty little add-on for us Firefox users called CoolIris. Simple to use, when you hover over a link, a small icon appears next to it, move the cursor over the icon and a preview window appears that shows what's at the other end of that link. Move your mouse away from the window and it automatically closes again. It does much more, but that's the foundation of the app. I've found it easy to get used to, fairly customizable and unobtrusive. Check it out.

Posted by Ted at 05:15 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

February 20, 2007

The Final Word On Tim "Homophobe" Hardaway

A side-splittingly funny smackdown delivered with style.

Thanks to Off Wing Opinion for the pointer.

Rocket content only peripherally related: One of the funniest rocket names I've ever seen was "Spock's Johnson". Straight up, it was.

Posted by Ted at 07:20 PM | Comments (82) | TrackBack

February 12, 2007

Ozzie Is In The House

On Saturday we picked up our first foster rabbit. We'll be taking care of Ozzie until Bunny Lu Adoptions can find him a permanent home. He's still in the settling-in stage and rather jumpy, but so far he's eating and using his litter box normally, so it looks like it'll be ok. As you can see, Ozzie is pure white with haunting "ruby" eyes.


Ozzie, photo courtesy of Bunny Lu Adoptions

Rachael fell in love with Ozzie when she was home for Christmas break, and would like nothing better than for us to bond him into a group with our other two, Fred and Java.

One thing is certain, Ozzie is a lovable guy. If you hold your hand out to him, he'll put his head under your fingers so that you can scratch behind his ears. He wasn't too sure about the dogs at first, which was driving Trix crazy. Trix loves the rabbits even though they don't act like dogs, I believe that he thinks they're retarded puppies. Because Ozzie was so skittish, tonight was the first night that they've been in close contact. We expanded the pen so there was some running -around room, then Trix and I went in and lay down and waited quietly. Before long Ozzie came up to us to check things out, and he and Trix sniffed each other a bit. Trix mostly stayed on his belly, dragging himself around by his front legs so that he was on the same level as Ozzie. I've never seen anything like it. Within an hour Trix and Ozzie were laying side by side on the floor, just chillin'.

So far, this foster bunny thing is working a-ok.

Posted by Ted at 07:16 PM | Comments (20) | TrackBack

I'm Kinda Proud Of My County

Unlike some of our neighboring counties, Prince William County, Virginia has decided that they want to be unfriendly towards illegal aliens. And how would they go about it?

The idea is for officers at the county's Adult Detention Center to become trained as ICE, (immigration and customs enforcement) officers, which would allow them to deport dangerous criminals who are also illegal aliens.

I like. The deportation proceedings begin after the sentence is served.

Meanwhile:

The Prince William Board of County Supervisors has asked county staff to complete the study by Jan 16. The county, where about 20 percent of residents are foreign-born, is one of several local governments grappling with a wave of new residents, many of them illegal immigrants. Supervisors said the problem is driving up costs for schools, health care, law enforcement and social services.

The study has been completed and the Supervisors are expected to sign a detailed invoice tomorrow, after which they'll send it to the federal government.

"I really think they should pay, but it is more symbolic," [Supervisor] Covington said.

The study will include the impact on the police department and jail and court system. Supervisor Maureen S. Caddigan requested that the county's hospitals and health clinics also be reviewed.

Additional education costs are not part of the study. So far, even the Hispanic organizations are supporting this effort because of the lack of detailed analysis on the impact of illegal aliens on local economies.

Posted by Ted at 12:23 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

February 11, 2007

Pole Dancing Craze Sweeps China, Rocket Jones Blamed

Well, not blamed actually, but the possibility* is there.

So China has discovered pole dancing. I'd like to welcome any and all Chinese visitors looking for pole dancing music. In fact, while you're here, I'd like to correct one misconception you seem to have about the west.

Celebrities such as Britney Spears and Paris Hilton are said to be followers of this trend.

The above statement outrageously overstates America's give-a-shit factor when it comes to those two (it's measured in mille-fuckits). Don't pole dance because nitwits like that do it. Pole dance for yourselves, pole dance for your boyfriends and husbands. Pole dance for world peace. Oh look, another one of those "possibilities".

*About as much possibility as me being elected Pope.

Posted by Ted at 07:58 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

February 09, 2007

SciFi Books Meme

Found over at Texas Best Grok.

This is a list of the 50 most significant science fiction/fantasy novels, 1953-2002, according to the Science Fiction Book Club.

Bold the ones you've read, strike-out the ones you hated, italicize those you started but never finished and put an asterisk beside the ones you loved.


The Lord of the Rings, J.R.R. Tolkien
The Foundation Trilogy, Isaac Asimov
Dune, Frank Herbert
Stranger in a Strange Land, Robert A. Heinlein
A Wizard of Earthsea, Ursula K. Le Guin
Neuromancer, William Gibson (this is on my 'get to someday' list)
Childhood's End, Arthur C. Clarke
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, Philip K. Dick
The Mists of Avalon, Marion Zimmer Bradley
Fahrenheit 451, Ray Bradbury
The Book of the New Sun, Gene Wolfe
A Canticle for Leibowitz, Walter M. Miller, Jr.
The Caves of Steel, Isaac Asimov
Children of the Atom, Wilmar Shiras
Cities in Flight, James Blish
The Colour of Magic, Terry Pratchett
Dangerous Visions, edited by Harlan Ellison
Deathbird Stories, Harlan Ellison
The Demolished Man, Alfred Bester
Dhalgren, Samuel R. Delany
Dragonflight, Anne McCaffrey
Ender's Game, Orson Scott Card
The First Chronicles of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever, Stephen R. Donaldson
The Forever War, Joe Haldeman
Gateway, Frederik Pohl
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, J.K. Rowling
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
I Am Legend, Richard Matheson
Interview with the Vampire, Anne Rice
The Left Hand of Darkness, Ursula K. Le Guin
Little, Big, John Crowley
Lord of Light, Roger Zelazny
The Man in the High Castle, Philip K. Dick
Mission of Gravity, Hal Clement
More Than Human, Theodore Sturgeon
The Rediscovery of Man, Cordwainer Smith
On the Beach, Nevil Shute
Rendezvous with Rama, Arthur C. Clarke
Ringworld, Larry Niven
Rogue Moon, Algis Budrys
The Silmarillion, J.R.R. Tolkien
Slaughterhouse-5, Kurt Vonnegut
Snow Crash, Neal Stephenson
Stand on Zanzibar, John Brunner
The Stars My Destination, Alfred Bester
Starship Troopers, Robert A. Heinlein
Stormbringer, Michael Moorcock
The Sword of Shannara, Terry Brooks
Timescape, Gregory Benford
To Your Scattered Bodies Go, Philip Jose Farmer

You'll notice no "love" asterisks nor "hate" strikethroughs, mainly because people's tastes vary so much. I'm not a big fan of fantasy, and yet I've read most of them on the list. I also own almost every bolded title on the list. I discovered SciFi early and read everything I could get my hands on.

I don't care for Anne Rice (except for "Ramses the Damned"), and I've never read a Harry Potter book. I love Farmer and Zelazny and have read "Gateway" multiple times, but my first recommendation from the list which you've probably never read is "A Canticle for Leibowitz". Powerful story.

There ya go. If you want to take it and run with it, leave a link in the comments.

Posted by Ted at 05:47 AM | Comments (2)

February 08, 2007

A Bet Is A Bet

Somehow, I'm not surprised that this happened in a bar.

Wiese, a die-hard fan of the Chicago Bears, signed a pledge in front of a crowd at a Decatur bar last Friday night that if the Bears lost Sunday's Super Bowl, he'd change his name to that of the man who led the Indianapolis Colts to victory.

As the loser of one of these silly bets (I wound up doing laundry for five years after a "can't lose" bet with my wife), I can appreciate the confidence that he felt when he made that wager.

So Tuesday, Wiese went to the Macon County Courts Facility and started the process of changing his name.

You've kept your honor, Scott... er, Peyton.

Posted by Ted at 06:07 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

February 07, 2007

Stupid Headline of the Day

Super Bowl Helps Nevada Sports Books Set Near-record for Wagering

How do you set a near-record? By not breaking the actual record!

Thanks AP, we're all a little stupider for reading that.

Posted by Ted at 05:13 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

January 06, 2007

Only If You Have A Sick and Twisted Sense of Humor


I love it
!

Thanks to Dogette for pointing this one out.

Posted by Ted at 04:50 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

They Obviously Know How To Better Spend My Money, Except That They Obviously Don't

Susie just experienced a practical demonstration of what happens when you increase the minimum wage.

In order to be able to afford the increased payroll without raising ticket prices (which negatively impacts business), the company has cut hours by instituting only one show on weeknights--theaters which had been playing movies at 5 and 8 are now only showing 7pm sets. So, a concessions clerk who worked from 4:30 to 9 on a weeknight at $5.15 an hour is now working from 6:30 to 8 for $6.85 an hour. Their day's wages have gone from $23 to $10.25. Let's say they still work 4 and a half hours on Saturday and so earn $31 for that day instead of the $23 they previously would have made. They are still making $5.00 less now than they would have without the wage increase.

And because so many of the clueless would blame the company in this case, I'd like to remind folks that the sole purpose of a business is to turn a profit. In America, we even have a special class of companies who are specifically designated non-profit. So when a company reacts to higher costs by cutting expenses, it's not evil or heartless, it's behaving correctly and responsibly, for a business!

Meanwhile, politicians who back raising the minimum wage pat themselves on the back and congratulate each other about what caring people they are, which is the biggest lie of all. Not all of them are stupid, they full well understand what will happen when you artificially increase expenses. They don't care. They don't care about the effects, they don't care about the workers they impact. They do care about being able to point to this as an example of how they're fighting back against rich corporations. Fighting for the common man. As for the people dancing in the streets over this, because they actually believe that this is a victory? Now those people are stupid.

Posted by Ted at 09:46 AM | Comments (62) | TrackBack

January 03, 2007

Ruben's Tube

Thanks to frequent commenter Russ, this most excellent link. Science is wicked cool, if you're doing it right.

Posted by Ted at 06:48 PM | Comments (470) | TrackBack

Did James Brown Mention This?

He was a Godfather, not a President, but still...

Hussein had problems with Bush Iraq policy.

Thanks to Brian J. for the scoop about yet another dead president kvetching from beyond the grave.

Posted by Ted at 06:37 PM | Comments (14) | TrackBack

January 01, 2007

Rad Decision

Rad Decision, an online story.

A techno-thriller about a looming disaster at a nuclear power plant, written by an engineer with over twenty years of experience in the American nuclear industry.

So far, the reviews are glowing*.

*No, I'm not going to apologize for that. Neener, neener.

Posted by Ted at 11:25 AM | Comments (34) | TrackBack

December 20, 2006

OMG WTF LOL* (In Two-Ply Harmony)

This is a must-read. Trust me. You'll thank me when the shock wears off, because it's hilarious/scary/true.

We are living in A.E. VanVogt's Cyril M. Kornbluth's** universe.

*Title acronym brazenly stolen - and mangled - from Derek.

**I misremembered the author who created the character Poopy Panda.

Posted by Ted at 11:44 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

December 19, 2006

Remiss

The title doesn't begin to cover it. I've been meaning to blogroll Ian, aka EDog, since... well, for quite a while now.

Is finally done. Go say hi.

Posted by Ted at 09:00 PM | Comments (1)

December 18, 2006

Whine All You Want About Wal-Mart

But I'll shop there any day over Target. Here's one reason why: Target sells "trendy" Che Guevara logo merchandise.

Remember, Che had a direct hand in the murder of children by firing squad in Cuba.

Thanks to Transterrestrial Musings for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 05:52 AM | Comments (2)

How Do I Hate Thee, Let Me Count The Ways

In Washington D.C., everything that Redskins owner Dan Snyder touches turns to crap. Besides the neighborhoods surrounding his new football stadium, where residents were getting tickets for parking in front of their own homes during football games (possibly reducing Dan's parking revenues), he is also the first (and only, as far as I know) owner to charge admission for loyal fans who travel long distances to attend Redskins training camp practices. Dan Snyder has proven himself to be a self-centered, money-hungry jerk with all the delicacy of a hammer and anvil.

His latest effort in anti-community relations revolves around his radio "network". He's purchased three stations in the area in order to broadcast his team's games, but that wasn't enough. He is now in final negotiations to buy the last remaining classical music station in the region, and has already announced plans to switch to all-talk sports and, you guessed it, Washington Redskins football games.

At his funeral, I hope they play His new theme song should be the Blue Damn You Waltz.

Posted by Ted at 04:25 AM | Comments (0)

December 15, 2006

Fine, so I'll order from the "dollar fifty" menu

This AP article has me seeing red. Here's the opening:

When hordes of police and immigration officials stormed meatpacking plants in six states this week, the illegal workers arrested may not have been the only victims.

Victims? Illegal workers arrested for breaking US law are not victims because they got caught!

Who are the other victims? Why, you and me of course, because we may have to pay more for meat because all of those other victims (you know, the ILLEGAL aliens) got busted by big, bad Uncle Sam.

The meatpacking industry has become dependent on an unauthorized labor force, and it is not good government to destroy an entire industry.

Lets parse that out. "The meatpacking industry has become dependent on an unauthorized labor force...". Sounds to me like the meatpacking industry needs some civic lessons on being a good corporate citizen.

"...it is not good government to destroy an entire industry." I agree with this completely. Just ask tobacco what they think. However, when you put those two statements together like some kind of hybrid rationale, the entire argument is bullshit.

According to the article, union membership is down and wages are way down since the meatpacking industry moved out of the northeast and into the plains states. The reason behind the move is clear and undisputed. There is a larger, cheaper labor pool (translation: illegal aliens) in the midwest.

Personally, if my meat prices go up because criminals are no longer involved in the supply chain, well, that's ok with me. That includes those criminals who knowingly hire illegal aliens to cut costs and boost profits. If you need a touchy-feely aspect, think about the meatpackers who lost their jobs when the plants relocated. This is outsourcing an industry without even leaving our own porous borders.

And don't ever, Ever, EVER try to tell me that those busted illegal aliens are victims.

Posted by Ted at 12:14 PM | Comments (3)

December 11, 2006

Yuck!

Surfing in Cleveland?

It sounds worse than I could imagine:

To reach the lake, surfers drag their boards across snow drifts and beaches littered with used condoms and syringes, Ditzenberger said. The most popular surf spot is Edgewater State Park. It is nicknamed Sewer Pipe because, after heavy rains, a nearby sewage treatment plant regularly discharges untreated waste into Lake Erie.

As if that's not bad enough, I keep picturing Drew Carey in a speedo.

Posted by Ted at 12:18 PM | Comments (0)

December 10, 2006

Holiday Advice With A Medical Slant

Princess Cat offers up some dead-on holiday eating tips. For instance:

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

Much wisdom there, and plenty more follows.

What really made me laugh was the closing quote, because I just happened to get an email on a similar subject with the same quote at the end. So for your educational enrichment, I present:

HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO . Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And the closing quote:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming : Woo Hoo, what a ride!"

A.Men.

Posted by Ted at 08:34 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

December 07, 2006

Get Your Hockey Fix

Hockey Live, games via streaming video courtesy of Comcast.

According to Off Wing Opinion, this service is now available to everyone. Here's the entire schedule, and although it's heavily weighted towards northeast teams, there are still some very good matchups coming up.

Posted by Ted at 09:27 PM | Comments (1)

Friday Feathers

Over at Dusting My Brain, Cindy has been posting a series of photographs she's taken of birds. Beautiful work, and you should go check it out.

Posted by Ted at 08:48 PM | Comments (1)

December 05, 2006

Traditional Holiday Fare

In the classic Rocket Jones style, babes dressed (more or less) in Christmassy clothing.

Not safe for work. Ho Ho Ho.

Posted by Ted at 05:18 AM | Comments (0)

December 04, 2006

Ready... Aim...

List of weapons that don't exist, but should.

Ninja sheep, the Radioactive Zombie Badger Launcher, and the so-deadly-the-UN-will-shit Landmine that shoots Grenades filled with Nunchucks with Shuriken tips. Plus more. Much, much more.

Posted by Ted at 09:05 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

November 29, 2006

Drawings

The semester is almost over and today I had my final critique for my drawing class, therefore I have all my drawings back and have uploaded them. Take a look if you want and leave a comment.

Drawings

Posted by Mookie at 03:02 PM | Comments (357) | TrackBack

November 25, 2006

The Sweetest Thanksgiving Leftover Ever

WKRP.

If you know what's coming, you're welcome. If not, put down the beverage.

Thanks to Off Wing Opinion for this one.

Posted by Ted at 10:01 AM | Comments (409) | TrackBack

Awesome

US Navy Ceremonial Guard Drill Team (YouTube video).

Thanks to Murdoc for this wonderful pointer.

Posted by Ted at 09:52 AM | Comments (1)

November 20, 2006

Almost Famous

Last week I was informed that Rocket Jones was a Googlewhack. I checked for myself, and sure enough, by typing two common words into Google this site was the only result returned. Pretty cool, until I noticed that one of the two words was misspelled.

Dang. So close.

Posted by Ted at 05:20 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

November 19, 2006

A Reminder

Red Skelton's classic reading of the Pledge of Allegiance.

Posted by Ted at 03:14 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

November 12, 2006

Absolutely Horrifying, Yet Somewhow I'm not Surprised

Where to start...

Rich, who has been pointing out the inexorable subjugation of the human race to our future mechanical overlords, links to a story about a new robot.

..."an electromechanical sommelier", capable of identifying wines, cheeses, meats and hors d'oeuvres.

The creep factor goes way up when we learn that they've given this little beastie a child-like voice to use when he identifies whatever it is that you've fed into his maw.

Then, of course, there's this:

But when some smart aleck reporter placed his hand in the robot's omnivorous clanking jaw, he was identified as bacon. A cameraman then tried and was identified as prosciutto.

This ties in quite nicely with our NaNoWriMo '06 effort to write an anthology about Giant Evil Space Robots.

gesr01b-sm.jpg

Too nicely, maybe...

(as always, special thanks to Webster Colcord for permission to use his graphics)

Posted by Ted at 12:10 AM | Comments (206) | TrackBack

November 08, 2006

Twofer

The title made sense when I started writing this. Now, not so much.

Michele posted a link to this nice little Jethro Tull piece done by Ian Anderson and an orchestra.

While you're there, check out an oldie but goodie, Bouree.

Or enjoy this version.

Heck, you should just do a search there on Jethro Tull and spend an hour enjoying the music. Be prepared to be amazed at the variety of styles that Tull plays to keep their songs from getting stale.

It just dawned on me while watching this video, they sound a bit like Blue on his CD's (which I also highly recommend - scroll down on that link).

Posted by Ted at 05:59 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

November 06, 2006

Endangered Species

The company that makes those plastic pink flamingoes is shutting down, due to rising energy prices and the cost of resin.

Thanks to Dogette for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 04:33 AM | Comments (45) | TrackBack

November 05, 2006

I had to post this

A lot of guys in hobby rocketry volunteer their time doing educational outreach things like talking to students or putting on demonstration launches. Doug Pratt blogs about a recent Q&A he had with some students. You should go read the whole thing (it's short), but I'll give you this much. After explaining that no, he doesn't work for NASA, one of the kids asked Doug how he knew so much about it. Here's his reply:

“I’m not a scientist or an engineer. I know a lot about this stuff because I love it. That’s all you need.”

Amen.

Posted by Ted at 08:19 AM | Comments (0)

October 30, 2006

Hockey Recap

An awesome resource for hockey fans, it's like having an entire sports page dedicated entirely to NHL Hockey and delivered to your email inbox every day.

Thanks to Off Wing Opinion for pointing this one out.

Posted by Ted at 05:58 AM | Comments (3)

October 29, 2006

My Music Video - Suicide Chump

My Video is on google videos! Woo. Let me know what you think about it.

The people in it are my friends: Molly, Shannen, Diedre, Renee, and Shae.

Posted by Mookie at 12:48 PM | Comments (5)

October 26, 2006

It's all in the name

From Dustbury:

And if you thought HD in radio meant the same thing as HD in television, think again:
"Quite honestly, it doesn't stand for anything," said Peter Ferrera, president and CEO of the HD Digital Radio Alliance. "The concept was somewhat of a steal from HD television, where viewers know it means better quality."

There you have it. "HD" stands for "Hype, Dummy!"

Posted by Ted at 08:42 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

October 24, 2006

Now this is the bees knees

1920's Slang Dictionary.

Thanks to the gang over at Babble-on.

Posted by Ted at 06:19 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Shattered Delusions

You've all seen the "face" on Mars. You may have heard about the recent debunking, where higher resolution photographs showed that it was, indeed, a natural physical feature. You probably didn't hear about the barking mad conspiracy theorists who're convinced that NASA is satan and they want to hide the evidence of extraterrestrial life (ignoring the fact that finding ET would mean a huge expansion of space exploration funding).

So, here's a nifty 3D animation from ESA (European Space Agency) showing the "face" and what it really looks like from various angles.

Thanks to Transterrestrial Musings for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 05:28 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

October 22, 2006

It's an odd place, but everybody respects him there

Unlike here. The title refers, of course, to whatever universe Tom Cruise is living in.

Tom Cruise has filed a $50-million lawsuit against Holesome Fun Incorporated, the world's largest manufacturer of sex toys, over the company's alleged unauthorized use of his image on its new Mission Insertable butt plug.

No, really!

That's the difference between "stars" and us little people. Me, I'd be rather honored to think that people would pay money to stuff my likeness up their ol' wazoo. I'd hope to be smart enough not to raise a big fuss too, thereby opening myself up to reporting like this:

Mr. Cruise is also demanding "the immediate and complete withdrawal" of the Mission Insertable butt plug...

Immediate? Selfish bastard, at least wait until I'm finished.

(almost forgot, found this thanks to the crew over at Babble-on).

Posted by Ted at 07:02 PM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

Brilliant

Yeah, that word is used too often, but in this case it correctly applies.

Check out this video.

Thanks to Ian for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 02:29 PM | Comments (11) | TrackBack

October 16, 2006

That's going to leave a mark

Funny and oh, so true.

President Bush said that if illegal immigrants want citizenship they'd have to do three things: pay taxes, hold meaningful jobs, and learn English. Bush doesn't meet those qualifications. -- PJ O'Rourke

Read the rest at Q&O, neither party is spared.

Posted by Ted at 07:24 PM | Comments (0)

Funny Stuff I've been meaning to link to

Unobtrusive, yet not quite grasping the concept.

Getting into a hockey goalie's head
. Here's a snippet:

I sat in 101, Row D, seat 11...right next to the [Carolina Hurricanes] Canes entry, behind their bench.

1st period: Semin unloads a wicked slapshot that Ward can't handle. End of the 1st period, as the Canes come off the ice, I tell Ward, "Semin's gonna light you up in the 2nd."

2nd period: Semin scores again. Ward comes off the ice. "I told you what was going to happen..."

Read the rest, it's priceless.

Meanwhile, over at the Parkway Rest Stop, Jim has been reading Hillary Clinton's letter to Nancy Pelosi:

Right off the bat, I’m going to appoint Barbara Walters as the White House Chief of Staff. Can you imagine anything funnier than hearing her say, “Madam Pwesident” and “Madam Vice-Pwesident” every day? ROTFLMAO!

I'll second that. ROTFLMAO!

Posted by Ted at 05:06 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 11, 2006

Commodore Mookie's Catch of the Day

Origami Underground (Not really Work Safe), as a friend said "funny, yes, but I'm midly horrified".

Posted by Mookie at 09:37 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

October 06, 2006

Boo

Here's a nifty list of haunted places, arranged by state and locale.

Posted by Ted at 11:42 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

October 04, 2006

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh man, I needed this.

Posted by Ted at 10:41 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Since I don't have time to post...

I can at least link to something.

The Misadventures of Hello Cthulu.

Thanks to Random Nuclear Strikes for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 05:19 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

October 02, 2006

Into the Wayback Machine

Ken Brashear's virtual drum kit.

Posted by Ted at 04:44 AM | Comments (330) | TrackBack

October 01, 2006

Commodore Mookie's Catch of the Day

Whoa!

Talk about cool stuff right there.
I'm too lazy to actually write much more then this at the moment, so have fun. I'm gonna go burn my eyes out by playing with the link some more.

Posted by Mookie at 03:16 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Quote of the Day: Law Enforcement Edition

The suspect shot and killed a deputy, shot and killed a police dog, and shot and wounded another deputy before being surrounded by 10 SWAT officers. Then he raised a gun...

"I suspect the only reason 110 rounds was all that was fired was that's all the ammunition they had," [Polk County Sheriff Grady] Judd said. "We were not going to take any chance of him shooting back."

Burn in hell you swiss-cheesed cop killer.

Posted by Ted at 09:39 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

Cool (to me)

If you're in Hudson, Wisconsin, be sure to stop by the Phipps Center for the Arts.

Posted by Ted at 07:16 AM | Comments (61) | TrackBack

September 30, 2006

Beautiful and Addicting

From annika, the Falling Sand Game.

Posted by Ted at 05:23 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

September 29, 2006

Old friends with new information

That's "old friend" as in, I've known Taz for a long time, not that Taz is old.

Looking at a new cell phone? This lady knows her stuff, and gives a thorough review of the LG Chocolate, the hottest thing on the market since the Razor's debut.

She also does a quickie comparison of several recently released cell phone models.

Posted by Ted at 08:17 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

September 28, 2006

National Statuary Hall Collection

Check this out.

The National Statuary Hall Collection in the United States Capitol is comprised of statues donated by individual states to honor persons notable in their history. The entire collection now consists of 100 statues contributed by 50 states. All fifty states have contributed two statues each.

Follow this link for a list of the pieces in the collection. The list has links for each person, giving their place in history and often some interesting details about the statue itself and the artists who did the work. For instance, Kamehameha I of Hawaii:

Gould was commissioned to create a statue of Kamehameha by the legislature of the Kingdom of Hawai'i and modeled the figure at his studio in Rome in 1879. It was cast in bronze at a Paris foundry in 1880 but was lost in a shipwreck on its way to Hawai'i. A second statue was cast from the same model and arrived safely; it was unveiled by Hawai'i's last king, Kalakaua, in 1883 in front of the Judiciary Building in Honolulu, where it still remains. The first statue was subsequently recovered and brought to Hawai'i; in 1912 it was placed at Kohala Court House in Kapa'au on the Island of Hawai'i, in Kamehameha's home district.

The statue in the Capitol was made from molds taken of the Honolulu statue.


If you like history, here's a nice online place to visit.

Posted by Ted at 06:02 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

September 24, 2006

Muse Strikes

It seems that once again, I have been inspired by one of the lovely ladies of the blogosphere. Yet truth be told gentlemen, when are we not?

Hmmm... reread that last. Apparently Velociman has his hand in the ol' inspirational link as well.

Back on point:

The friars made extra money for the monestary by growing beautiful flowers to sell.

They also grew man-eating plants to protect their gardens.

One day, some village children strayed too close to the gardens and were eaten by the man-eating plants. The outraged villagers confronted the friars and demanded that the man-eating plants be destroyed. The friars refused.

The villagers went and got Hugh. Now Hugh was the village blacksmith, and the biggest and strongest man in the village.

Hugh went to the monestary, destroyed the man-eating plants and chased the friars out of town.

Moral of the story: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.


Groan elsewhere.

Posted by Ted at 08:30 AM | Comments (19) | TrackBack

September 23, 2006

Look at all the cute bunny rabbits

If there was any question as to whether Rachael was truly my child, this link should dispell all doubts. Bunnies committing suicide.

047.jpg

What makes it even better is that she sent that link to her mom, who passed it on to me. There are a lot of 'em, go check it out.

Update: Mad William Flint offers up the Amazon link to the first bunny suicide book.

Posted by Ted at 04:45 PM | Comments (2304) | TrackBack

September 22, 2006

Another ebook resource

Elegant Solutions Software and Publishing Company (ESSPC) has a fine collection of free ebooks available for downloading to your PDA.

This week's feature on their main page is Inaugural Addresses Of The Presidents Of The United States From George Washington To George W. Bush.

January 20, 2005. George W. Bush has just delivered his second inaugural address to the nation and the world. As soon as it was made available we captured it and included it in this book. Here in one volume are the inaugural address of the presidents of the United States. Presented in chronological order they are a living reminder of those men who have lead this nation in times of peace and war. In times of prosperity and want. In good times and bad. Their words reflect the spirit of the nation over the past two centuries and the beginnings of the third. This is a reissue on January 20, 2001, Inauguration Day, with the inclusion of the second Inaugural Address of George Walker Bush.

They also offer every ebook in their collection (over 500 titles) on one CD-ROM for $7.95 (that's to cover shipping and handling). That's a heckuva deal.

In the non-fiction section, I found lots of Dickens, Kipling, H.G. Wells, Verne and Edgar Rice Burroughs plus much more. I haven't finished exploring all they have to offer, but so far, so great!

Update: Wow, this keeps getting better and better! In the history section I found The Federalist Papers and the personal memiors of Generals Grant and Sheridan.

Posted by Ted at 05:44 AM | Comments (0)

September 21, 2006

Some things that are...

...just plain wrong.

Posted by Ted at 05:55 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

*gulp*

I'm going to show just the last line of this link-filled post over at Jawa Report, about a massive supernova detected in February. Go. Read.

...had GRB 060218 happened in our galaxy, life on Earth would have ended Feb. 18.

I feel very very small and very very vulnerable.


Posted by Ted at 04:58 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 20, 2006

Yup

It is claimed that Westerners do not respect nor understand Islam.

Right back at'cha, assholes.

Thanks to Triticale for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 10:24 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Yay!

Happy Birthday Pixy Misa!

Thank you for everything you do for us Munuvians.

Posted by Ted at 05:47 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Beauty

A co-worker recently returned from an Alaskan vacation and has posted his photos online (ignore the sign-in). He's a much better photographer than I, and the scenery is spectacular!

In a similar vein, Chris Hall did one of his motorcycle excursions, this time to the Gila National Forest in New Mexico. This is rugged, beautiful terrain, and Chris shares a lot of great pictures of his trip.

He does the same thing with a trip through the Santa Fe National Forest.

Posted by Ted at 05:15 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 19, 2006

You might not care, but now you know

The US Department of State offers RSS feeds, podcasts and listservs you can sign up for.

Posted by Ted at 11:48 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

September 18, 2006

"Nobody puts Baby in a corner!"

The irrepressible Dogette muses upon the cult classic Dirty Dancing (full disclosure: I didn't see it in the theater, but I own copies on VHS *and* DVD). Specifically, she wonders about how useful it would be in various movie situations it would be to throw out that infamous Swayze line in the title above.

Being somewhat irrepressible myself (in that annoying, get-the-hell-away-from-me sense, not the cute and lovable hijinx-pulling sense), I decided to run with the idea.

What would HBO's Deadwood be like if we inserted that line?

Seth: Any more gunplay gets answered. You call the law in Sampson, you don't get to call it off just cause you're liquored up and popular on payday.

Patrick: Nobody puts Baby on a shelf!

Hmmm... not bad. Let's try another one.

Al: God rest the souls of that poor family... and pussy's half price for the next 15 minutes.

Patrick: Nobody puts Baby on a shelf!

Somehow I just don't see the piano player in the saloon breaking out Righteous Brothers tunes.

Let's move on to the video game genre. How about Grand Theft Auto?

Snake: Yo, homes. I'm gonna bust a cap all over your ass.

Patrick: Nobody puts Baby on a shelf!

Nope. That doesn't work either. I think Dogette is on to something here. Just what is open to interpretation, but I've managed to wring a post out of it, so I'm satisfied.


Posted by Ted at 05:03 AM | Comments (87) | TrackBack

September 14, 2006

Digging through the attic

Here's an animated US history lesson that I linked to back in September of 2003. It's still cool.

Posted by Ted at 06:16 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

More about the Hobbit House

Late last year I mentioned that my best friend owned a resort bar in the Philippines called The Hobbit House. The place is staffed by midgets.

A co-worker pointed me towards a blog entry that talks about the former manager of The Hobbit House. Perry Berry is a man short in stature, but giant in spirit.

Posted by Ted at 04:56 AM | Comments (9) | TrackBack

September 12, 2006

Out of Context Scare Quote of the day Yesterday

A type of root rot is infecting Christmas Tree farms in the mid-Atlantic, the same one that has been plauging American Chestnut trees.

According to the story, the culprit is a mold that affects over 900 species of plant life around the world.

Interesting story, right up until the end, where they close with this quote:

"It is a case of mankind unwittingly changing his environment for the worse."

That was said by one of the tree farmers who is dealing with the mold. Did man spread this mold by transplanting trees? It *is* described as "world wide". Or did man somehow create the mold? There's no way to tell from the story because there is nothing to indicate that this problem is anything other than mother nature being herself. It's always safe to blame mankind though.

Posted by Ted at 04:50 AM | Comments (30) | TrackBack

September 11, 2006

Exhibit 13

Have you seen the Blue Man Group's short film about 9/11?

Posted by Ted at 04:11 AM | Comments (150) | TrackBack

September 05, 2006

Are you afraid of clowns?

Here's one reason why you should be.

Bobo drank the tears of children.

Short. Sweet.

Posted by Ted at 08:50 PM | Comments (11) | TrackBack

September 02, 2006

Pretty Pictures

Via Elisson, this wicked time-lapse photograph of Toronto, taken at two hour intervals. Scroll down and check out the flash version to see each shot in its entirety. Sam the photographer even created a wallpaper sized version for you to enjoy.

Posted by Ted at 04:25 PM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

It's familiar

Since life has been bouncing up and down lately for us, this page o' bouncy boob icons just seems like the right thing to link to.

jenkyboobs3.gif

Thanks to Loup over at Babble-on for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 12:34 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

August 29, 2006

Going around once more

See that "2996" over on the left? That's a link to a tribute to everyone who died on 9/11, and leads to a page where each individual was assigned to a volunteer blogger who will post a memorial to that person on the fifth anniversary of that sad day.

Every. Single. One.

The goal has been reached (thanks to everyone who's signed up), and they've started around again so if you haven't volunteered yet, you still can.

Posted by Ted at 06:49 PM | Comments (466) | TrackBack

August 26, 2006

Wanted: Founding Fathers

This is so cool.

Colony: Alchibah.

From the FAQ:

In the middle of the 21st century, a ship of dissidents seeking freedom from the oppressive world government of Earth land on a planet circling the star Alchibah. There, these colonists begin a new life, a new world, a place where the limited government is subordinate to the citizens. First they had to create that government and the documents that would constrain it. Actually, first they had to escape Earth! As in any sci-fi story, there are plenty of other problems as well...

I highly recommend reading through the FAQ before exploring the rest of the site, because this isn't simply a story to read. For the right kinds of people, with imagination and passion, you can become characters in the story and affect events. Beneath the veneer of SciFi fiction, this is actually a nicely conceived simulation of building a government from scratch. You can argue your points and sway opinions of other colonists as you all work together (or work against each other) to create a future.

Jeff Soyer, proprietor of Alphecca, is the mind behind this stunning concept. I'll be following their progress, and enjoying every step of the journey.

Posted by Ted at 12:48 PM | Comments (9) | TrackBack

August 25, 2006

Thanks for the memories

Jerry Rice signed a one-day contract with the San Francisco 49'ers so that he could officially retire with the team.

Twenty years, most every receiving record in the books, and the man did it with style and class.

A lot of athletes should learn that lesson.

Posted by Ted at 05:33 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

August 22, 2006

I shoulda mentioned

Links to the Silent Universe and Second Shift podcasts are now on my sidebar.

Posted by Ted at 05:13 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

August 20, 2006

Commodore Mookie's Catch of the Day

I always find that the hardest thing about making a web page is finding/making/picking a back ground that will satisfy several criteria. The criteria include (A) that it not suck, (B) that is is fairly unobtrusive and not eye watering ugly, and (C) that to take into account the variety of monitor display settings it should either tile well or have a solid back ground color [note, these are just my personal rules of thumbs). This nifty little website allows you to make tile-able back grounds quickly and easily... and I like to play with it even if I don't need a new background.

I also have an appreciation for well done drawings and paintings that have a bit of humor in them of some sort. I don't usually go for the more traditional "Art" stuff. This website has some interesting pictures that defiantly make me giggle and is worth checking out. Hm... I wonder if my roommate would like them... we need to decorate our dorm room...

Posted by Mookie at 11:22 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

August 19, 2006

Commodore Mookie's Catch of the Day

I've always had permission to Post on Rocket Jones, but Dad just gave me the official word "Go"; so of course the spelling and grammar quality of this site just went down the crapper, but that’s no matter.

Almost every day I send Dad links to random sites I find online via a firefox extension called StumbleUpon, yet dad rarely has time/remembers to link to them, so now I'll do it. The best description of StumbleUpon came from this site where they say "[StumbleUpon] is a software implementation of Attention Deficit Disorder" and how true it is. I do actually waste hours upon hours each day (when I have internet) stumbling around to amuse myself.

So the first weird link of the day will be an optical illusion that’s really quite freaky, but entertaining. And then there is a website that shows you how to harvest stools. Finally, here's a place with some T-shirts called Cute Dead Things... I really want the Skull one, it so cute! and dead!

Posted by Mookie at 06:54 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

August 17, 2006

When you outlaw midgets with guns, only... wait, that doesn't work.

Check out this little beauty:
rev_main.jpg
click the picture for Dirty Harry size

Even better, it's fully functional.

This firearm is a scaled-down model of the much acclaimed and mystical Colt Python with all the same features as are found on the real size gun.

They advertise it as "the smallest revolver and ammunition in the world."

Thanks to Rodger for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 08:35 PM | Comments (15) | TrackBack

A Bone Through My Nose

Not as in "decorative", as in "I was eating a piece of chicken when I read something so funny I snorted food."

Oh, how I wish I were drinking a glass of milk at the time.

No matter. Put down the fork and glass and go read this.

You've been warned.

Posted by Ted at 07:47 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

August 16, 2006

"42" has become such a cliche

It is also *not* the answer to any of the "25 Most Important Questions in the History of the Universe".

Thanks to Wizbang! for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 05:53 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

August 14, 2006

Retro Redux

I briefly mentioned it a couple of days ago, and I'm pleased to announce that I have 8-bit nostalgia up and running.

M.U.L.E., Blue Max, Encounter, various Infocom text adventures and early Electronic Arts offerings, bringing back memories of my earliest days of home computing.

I haven't gotten the configuration exactly right, because the emulator won't read the virtual cassette drive yet, and there are a couple of early war games I hope to resurrect that were only available on tape. More tinkering to do.

If you don't see the attraction, then you have no soul. It's that simple.

Oh, and for those asking, I've been playing with two emulators: Atari800 and Atari800Win Plus. Win Plus has been easier to work with, but doesn't offer the flexibility that Atari800 does. I may very well end up using both for different situations.

Posted by Ted at 05:27 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

August 12, 2006

Retro

Dustbury notes an odd little item:

...the C64 Orchestra is a real live band that, for the moment anyway, plays music from Commodore 64 games.

If you feel so inclined, follow that link for details and more links.

It especially caught my eye because I've been toying with a couple of Atari 800 emulators, with the aim of being able to play some of my favorite 8-bit games of old on today's Windows PC. I've even found a couple of emulators designed to run under WinCE for my PDA.

Feel free to google 'em up. There are plenty of open source emulators out there (Intellivision anyone?), and I see no need to open your wallet.

Posted by Ted at 09:55 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

August 11, 2006

To be (stupid), or not to be (stupid)

The original article is titled "101 ways to massacre Shakespeare".

The Edinburgh Fringe richly deserves its reputation for artistic anarchy and every year The Bard is the target of bizarre adaptations at the world's largest arts festival.

The festival director's all-time favorite? A Midsummer's Night Disco. The bard done on roller skates. Boy howdy.

As The Fringe celebrates its 60th birthday, the prize for zaniest 2006 production goes to Hamlet set in a bouncy castle.

To see the Prince of Denmark in laddered tights bounding around declaiming "To Be or Not To Be" is a truly surreal experience.

Surreal is one word to describe it, but not the first that comes to mind.

One never knows where inspiration will come:

Seward had his eureka moment when attending a children's birthday party in Argentina. "I saw the children playing on a bouncy castle and that is when the idea came to me.

One never knows when the meds wear off.

Other interpretations seen over the years include:

"Macbeth -- That Old Black Magic" boasts a Frank Sinatra soundtrack and you can see "The Tempest" with acrobats, puppets and circus tricks.

In "Corleone: The Godfather," the American High School Theater Festival troupe asks "What if Shakespeare had written the Godfather?"

Alas, poor yorick, I must go make sick. I'd still love to go.

Posted by Ted at 11:27 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

August 10, 2006

Happy Birthday

The Smithsonian is 160 years old today.

Posted by Ted at 05:06 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

August 09, 2006

Twofer

A disturbing, albeit very funny video, courtesy of Curmudgeonly and Skeptical.

I may have to send these to several blog buddies as Christmas presents (anonymously of course).

Thanks to Minister Buckethead for the link to "those".

Posted by Ted at 05:51 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Threefer

I stumbled across this while looking for something else (not safe for work).

Mookie sent this link since it reminded her of the infamous Barbies in Bondage post.

From Dick's Rocket Dungeon, a link to a week's worth of pictures from the National Association of Rocketry's Annual Meet (NARAM).

Wow. Zombies, bondage, and rockets all in one post. If Rocket Jones had a nutrition pyramid this would be like a balanced meal.

Posted by Ted at 05:29 AM | Comments (11) | TrackBack

August 08, 2006

Physician, Heal Thyself

Whatever the editorial equivalent of that is, it really needs doing.

I've been following with some interest the Reuters photography story (lots of links here). If you're unfamiliar with it, read the box.

The Reuters news agency has fired freelance photographer Adnan Hajj for photoshopping photographs. The first conclusive example had dark smoke added to a scene overlooking Beirut. At this point Reuters suspended Hajj. When a second photograph was discovered of an aircraft with additional "missiles" and bombs copy-and-pasted in, they fired him and pulled from their database almost 1,000 pictures that he'd provided them over the course of ten years. Since then, additional photographs have been discovered where he would submit the same scene, shot from different perspectives, as evidence of overnight airstrike damage dated weeks apart. Some of these photos feature the exact same people in them.

The reason I felt it necessary to summarize the story is because it's not being reported. When I mentioned it to co-workers, they hadn't heard a word about it. A search of the local news radio website makes no mention of it, although I did find a story titled News Agencies Stand By Lebanon Photos.

From the story:

"It's hard to imagine how someone sitting in an air-conditioned office or broadcast studio many thousands of miles from the scene can decide what occurred on the ground with any degree of accuracy," said Kathleen Carroll, AP's senior vice president and executive editor.

Which is exactly the criticism that many people have with the news coverage in the middle east. The reporters sit safely inside their "Green Zone" hotels and have paid local stringers bring them the news. They're not covering the stories, they merely collate what is delivered to them before passing it along as fact.

Yet when the public makes this argument, it's disregarded by the media because they're "professionals". There have been a lot of arrogant bastards over the years working to turn journalism into a cult, and if you're not in the cult then you cannot criticize. The sad thing is, they've largely succeeded.

Senior editor Carroll then goes on with this:

Photographers are experienced in recognizing when someone is trying to stage something for their benefit, she said.

So, in other words, they see it often enough to know it when it happens. And maybe, like in Hajj's case, they're ok with staging the scene because it fits their agenda. Good thing the news agencies have layers of professional editorial staffing to keep this from happening... but, aren't all the editors "sitting in an air-conditioned office or broadcast studio many thousands of miles from the scene"? I thought that made it difficult or impossible to "decide what occurred on the ground with any degree of accuracy".

Then we get this "professional" opinion:

"Do you really think these people would risk their lives under Israeli shelling to set up a digging ceremony for dead Lebanese kids?" asked Patrick Baz, Mideast photo director for AFP.

Hmmmm... I just did a quick check, and not one source ever indicated that there was shelling going on during the rescue operation. So where did this statement this come from?

More and more, I believe that the weather forecast is the most accurate part of any news program.

Posted by Ted at 06:07 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Silent Thunder

The company that is acting as general contractor for our kitchen remodeling project is also doing this memorial.

Posted by Ted at 05:27 AM | Comments (0)

August 07, 2006

Mark Tuesday, September 19th on your calendaaars

That be Talk Like A Pirate Day, me hearties.

And for those blogging that day, there be this.

Posted by Ted at 07:23 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

August 06, 2006

Sounds dirty, but it ain't

MyKnobs.com.

I've been spending some time at that site. One of the things that's been taking up major chunks of life lately is that we're having our kitchen, dining room and adjacent bathroom remodelled. Final plans are due next week and then I'll have a few weeks to get "our" portion of tasks done before construction begins. Yes, construction. There will be walls removed and things rearranged. We've been planning this for years in our mind, and now we've finally taken the plunge.

I told everyone we've sat down with the same thing: We're not doing this to sell the place, because if we were then I'd go cheap. The budget's not unlimited, but we're not going bottom-of-the-line either, because this is for *us*.

We've already picked flooring and carpet. Cabinets and countertops have been selected. All new appliances have been chosen and are being held until needed, and we sat down last night and picked the exact colors for paint (we've collected literally hundreds of paint cards and chips).

This is going to be a huge mess. The end result is going to be beautiful.

Posted by Ted at 07:27 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

August 05, 2006

You can find anything on the internet

As if that's news to anyone with more imagination than an amoeba.

For instance, The Steely Dan Dictionary.

The creative genii behind Steely Dan (Walter Becker and Donald Fagen) have long been fond of peppering their lyrics with arcane literary and cultural references, the meaning of which can be murky at best (given the duo's legendary reticence). After searching in vain for an explanatory lexicon, I decided to create my own.

I found that via a link from Tuning, which is infrequently updated but always interesting.

And the link for that came from Owlish, who is no longer posting. I miss him. who (holy crap!) just started posting again. Yay!

I would've known that if trackbacks were working, but Mu.Nu has shut them off for good until we migrate to Minx. Lousy spammers. Which makes me wonder how everyone is doing in TTLB's ecosystem. I haven't looked at it in months, but one of the measurements is trackbacks, so I wonder what kind of hit Munuvians are taking.

Posted by Ted at 09:46 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Short Rocket Video

I have one of these motors, and 3 reload kits to fit.

*grinning like an idiot*

Note: The audio part of that clip, using the limited microphone of the video camera, doesn't come close to capturing the deep, bone-rattling roar of that beast when it ignites.

Posted by Ted at 07:56 AM | Comments (9) | TrackBack

August 04, 2006

Forget, Hell

I'm a linking fool. I share all kinds of odd stuff found in the dusty corners of the internet. Once in a while though, I do offer up something more substantial, such as this:

2996 is a project organized by D.C. Roe, to have 2996 bloggers (!) all posting a tribute to a 9/11 victim (names are assigned) on September 11, 2006–the five-year anniversary. Right now there are 1187 blogs signed up, and there’s just over a month to go.

If you can, please sign up and help.

Posted by Ted at 08:18 PM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

Bumper Sticker

Today while sitting in oh-sooooo-slow Friday traffic, I saw a bumper sticker on a pickup truck:

Weaponeer.net

More Weapons = More Fun

If you follow that link, you'll find gems like this:
Our next shoot in Minong Wisconsin will be Aug 19th, at the Minong Range.
Machine guns, semi-autos, assault rifles, pistols, shotguns, mortars, and cannons.
Tannerite is allowed... Tracer and Incind. ammunition will depend on the weather.

Gotta love folks who play this hard.

Posted by Ted at 08:07 PM | Comments (23) | TrackBack

Bunny blogging, of a sort

Vorpal?

Posted by Ted at 11:37 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

August 03, 2006

Bless their twisted little souls

I've written about Sims torture before, but I didn't know that there was a LiveJournal community devoted to it (I'd link to it, but LiveJournal is screwy about handling community links).

Google is your friend accomplice.

Posted by Ted at 11:54 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

August 02, 2006

Obviously, they were asking for it

Isn't that what they used to say about rape victims?

From Alphecca, I see that muggings and related robberies in the UK are up at least 8 percent this year (and one study says the increase is as much as 22%).

Rotten criminals, eh?

The newspaper headlines say "Rise in crime blamed on iPods".

Remember, there are no bad people. Just people who do bad things. Can't be blaming crime on the folks who commit crime, it must be those darn victims, just begging to be robbed. I can see it now: crowds of people, waving their arms and shouting "Me! Me!!! Rob me!", jumping up and down as they try to be noticed. And those poor put-upon muggers... having to wrestle with that temptation every day. It's inhumane, I tell you.

And it's all our fault. When a society invents iPods, it deserves whatever comes to it. Or so some people want you to think.

Posted by Ted at 05:19 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

August 01, 2006

Baseball Race

Wicked cool online toy for baseball fans.

Thanks to Off Wing Opinion for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 09:02 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

July 28, 2006

I can see clearly now...

Seen over at Random Nuclear Strikes:

Since 2001, they’ve been screaming ["they" means enviromentalists - RJ] that President Bush is “rolling back the Clean Air Act,” and that the resulting increase in air pollution will kill people by the thousands. Instead, every category of air pollution has fallen during the Bush years, with 2003, 2004, and 2005 showing the lowest levels of harmful ozone and particulates in the air since the monitoring of air pollution began in the 1960s.

I'm not prepared to give President Bush all the credit for this, just like I'm not willing to bash President Clinton on the subject. There's inertia in something like changing the quality of our air, and I think that we all deserve credit for being more aware of pollution and taking better care of the environment in general. Little things add up, and Americans have made a lot of little eco-friendly things a normal part of our lives. Things like changing the type of freon used in air conditioners, using non-aerosol sprays, and developing cleaner cars and fuels. Yay us!

Follow that link above for more links and details.

Posted by Ted at 05:22 AM | Comments (19) | TrackBack

July 27, 2006

Silent Universe - A Review

Before television gained dominance, radio shows entertained with all types of audio theater. I still enjoy recorded shows from "the golden age of radio" like The Shadow and Inner Sanctum (hint: available on CD and cassette, or ask Victor for copies he made when they originally aired).

Nowadays, I'm loving the proliferation of podcasts. Much like blogging gave "journalism" to the masses, podcasting is doing the same for talk radio. And now podcasts are appearing which provide a return to that classic era of radio programming.

Recently I was contacted about doing a Rocket Jones review for a podcast called Silent Universe. Like the classic radio serial format, this science fiction offering features suspense and cliffhangers at the end of each episode. Even better, unlike the old days, you don't have to be glued to the radio to enjoy the shows because you can download Silent Universe to your iPod or other .mp3 player and listen at your leisure.

From the email:

The Silent Universe is a sci-fi adventure drama, with writing that has been compared to the intrigue of TV shows like "24" and "Battlestar Galactica."

"[Space opera] is now commonly used to mean a tale of space adventure whose emphasis is on boldly delineated characters, drama, and especially action."
Wikipedia



It's understandable that they're going for the "24" comparison since that is television's premier cliffhanger show. In my mind though, Silent Universe more closely captures the spirit of an old fashioned, rip-roaring space opera. You movie going whippersnappers can think "Star Wars", but Flash Gordon is a classic example (from before *my* time, he added pointedly). That said, there’s an edginess and tension to the Silent Universe episodes that didn’t exist in those early programs.

Silent Universe is set in the not-too-distant future, when humans have spread to the planets of our solar system. Society as a whole hasn't moved much beyond what it is today, in that there are still governments jostling for advantage and using diplomacy, war, and intrigue to gain the upper hand.

"There were those who thought that the dawn of the second space age would unite humanity in a common cause. Dreams of grand utopias fevered the minds of visionaries and futurists, who proclaimed that the stars would save us from ourselves. They couldn't have been more wrong." - from the intro

The story follows Emmeline Kaley, a professional mercenary who finds herself involved with a covert organization after a paying job goes horribly wrong. Things aren’t always what they seem, and allies can’t always be trusted. Through the blur of events, you occasionally get a glimpse of the truth: that someone far more powerful than you has been pulling strings and making events bend to their will.

There's a disclaimer at the start of the podcast for the mature language and themes in the episodes. Despite the humorous slant on free speech, don't let it fool you into believing that everything is one-sided. At one point in the episode, one of the characters makes an impassioned argument for letting the UN handle the situation. The show tries to stay balanced, and the characters are not marching along in idealogical lockstep.

There are a couple of interesting facets to this podcast. First of all, you can download the mono version for free, or you can pay a couple of bucks for the CD-quality stereo version. You can also subscribe to either version and get each episode as it comes out.

Full Disclosure: I was given a reviewer's access code for the stereo version. Was this a blatant bribe to positively influence me, or merely their way of applying pressure to for-God's-sake use a spell checker? I report. You decide.

Actually, I asked the producer to comp me the access so I could contrast the two audio versions. Spoiled the suspense for you there, didn’t I?

These episodes are performed by professional voice actors, complete with nice sound effects and an original soundtrack to go along with the action.

The initial schedule called for episodes to be released about once a month, and eleven episodes were to make up the first "season". As often happens, schedules go straight into the trash when they meet reality. The first two episodes are available now (and the first, Mission 256, is a double episode). The next is due out next month.

Online, Silent Universe has been generating some buzz:

We've been featured in online publications such as Slice of Sci Fi, Sci Fi Crows Nest, PRweb, Spaceship Radio, PodcastingNews and others.

And now of course, the coveted mention in Rocket Jones.

Here’s another unique and exciting aspect to this project:

We also invite our audience to do more than just listen; we encourage them to discuss the podcast with the production staff on our online forums (honesty is preferred to flattery, though a little flattery never hurt anyone, hehe). We welcome feedback and critiques on episodes, suggestions for future plot ideas, and even spec script submissions for hopeful science fiction writers.

I’ve been to the forums, and they’ve started to build a fan community discussing various aspects of the show. I expect it to grow quite a bit as they work the kinks out of the production process and begin to release new episodes on a more regular basis.

Ok, so that’s all well and good, but I can hear you saying, “Ted, that’s all well and good, but what did *you* think of it?â€�

More importantly, what did Bub think of it?

da doo ron ron ron, da doo ron ron

Enthralled, I’d say.

The episodes are fast paced and seem logical within the framework of the story. I absolutely love Emmeline’s accent (she claims Scot, but there’s some debate on that in the forums, which bothers me not).

I also like the bad guys so far. They don’t seem evil just for evil’s sake as there is an underlying rationale for their actions. When they act in a way that you personally wouldn’t, there’s a tendency, in my mind at least, to attribute that to cultural differences rather than plot inconsistencies (those crafty Asians).

A few of the characters are already on my “please die soonâ€� list. The two sisters, Ritsu and May, are annoying as hell, which isn’t strictly a bad thing as characters go, but their dialogue doesn’t advance the action and they seem to be there only because the group needed to be bigger.

Unlike others on the forums, I’m not put off by the resident computer geek of the crew. A little over the top, yes, but he’s ok in small doses. Giving him more than a sentence or two at a time though might make me reach for the airlock handle.

My favorite line so far was in the second episode, when Emmeline muttered “bloody bastardsâ€� under her breath.

Why those simple words worked so well has to do with my major criticism. In the first episode, many characters used the word “frackâ€� as a futuristic version of the f-bomb. “Frack thisâ€� and “you frackin’…â€� and so on. I’ve since learned that the word might have originated with Battlestar Galactica, but since I was never a fan of that show I don’t remember it myself. In any event, its use here just doesn’t work. Every time someone uses it, the flow of the dialogue stumbles a little bit.

The good news is that episode 2 was almost completely devoid of “frackâ€�, which is why the “bloody bastardsâ€� line was such a pleasant surprise. I found myself mentally cringing in scenes where the word "frack" might be used, and it was a welcome improvement to hear more natural-sounding dialogue.

(mental note: new Rocket Jones tagline – “frackâ€� free since 2003)

Hey, since this is audio theater, I should probably mention the sound quality, eh? I first tried the non-stereo version and I’ve got to tell you that the sound quality is very good. As good as it is, it doesn't come close to the exceptional experience of the stereo version. If you get into the story, I think it's worth it to subscribe. The stereo version eliminates the commercials too, although they're not terribly intrusive.

Bottom line: If you like science fiction or suspense stories, especially the old space opera genre (paging E.E. “Docâ€� Smith!), then you’ll probably enjoy Silent Universe. Even if you don’t, I recommend downloading the free version of the first episode and giving it a listen.

I know I’m hooked. What about you, bub?

give a big ol' Hee-Haw saaaalute!

Thought so.

* The animated Bub graphics were lovingly lifted from I-mockery.com. Hopefully that acknowledgement and link will keep their lawyers off my ass.

Posted by Ted at 08:13 PM | Comments (2)

Two Disturbing Sculptures

And you just know that I want one of them.

Garden Sculpture (via Two Nervous Dogs, who you should be reading every day (the link is in the sidebar because you've gotten lazy and I want to watch you dance like a puppet on my string. Now hop to and go clicky clicky!!!))

Museum Sculpture.

Maybe frightening is a better word.

Posted by Ted at 05:12 AM | Comments (32) | TrackBack

July 23, 2006

LDRS Video

This year was the silver anniversary of LDRS, which is the annual national launch for high power rocketry. The location changes every year, and this year's event in Amarillo, Texas looks to have been big fun.

I'd already talked about some flights made by local rocketeers that I fly with. Now you can check out the video.

Posted by Ted at 10:30 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

The Japanese are just plain weird

From Mad William Flint, here's a YouTube video of some sort of Japanese prank show with a sadistic, hilarious twist. Make sure you watch long enough to see the "beach" version.

Posted by Ted at 09:07 AM | Comments (32) | TrackBack

July 22, 2006

She was a sniper ?!?!?!

Talk about pressure to perform!

Dr. Ruth Westheimer, the diminuitive (4 ft 7 in) sex educator, has led an interesting and sometimes tragic life. After World War II she immigrated to Isreal and joined the Haganah (precursor to the Isreali Defense Force:

...she was trained as a sniper and was seriously wounded in action by an exploding shell during the 1948 Arab-Israeli War.

Read the rest, it's not that long.

This isn't totally unrelated, it's a video about the Isreali Air Force and Army. Thanks to Victor, who is guest posting for Annika while she's on vacation.

Posted by Ted at 09:49 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

A collection of cool links that might be of interest to you.

Pop cultchah. We got yer pop cultchah right here.

Do you miss MST3K? If yes, then check out RiffTrax, Mike Nelson's new endevour. You download the soundtrack (it costs $1.99), buy or rent the movie, then watch the movie while listening to the audio on your iPod or other mp3 player. The inaugural flick is Roadhouse:

This is it – the best movie ever made about a world-famous bouncer and his epic struggle with the evil owner of the local J.C. Penney. Patrick Swayze is at his most shirtless as Dalton, a bouncer who is as comfortable quoting Zen aphorisms as he is kicking drunken men in the head.

Be sure to vote for future RiffTrax too! The poll includes such classics as Cocktail, Showgirls, XXX, Sixth Sense, The Matrix and Minority Report.

I might have to start collecting these. Thanks to Captain Ed for the pointer (and good luck with the new implant).

I've written before about the weird synchronicity between the beginning of the movie The Wizard of Oz and Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon album. Via YouTube, you can get a taste of what I'm talking about. Thanks to JohnL for the pointer.

The computer game Myst took the world by storm, being the best-selling computer game for ten straight years. I've recently been playing a version specifically created for my PDA, and started looking around for some hints online. What I found was, like much of the Myst universe, a hidden treasure trove of information and news about this still-thriving gamer community. There are many sequels to the original, and even rewrites of the originals to take full advantage of new technology, letting you play the game like it was originally conceived, without the limitations of the day. Doing a simple google search will return well over eight and a half million hits! Rather than wade through that, here's a very nice set of useful links to Myst related sites.

Model Railroads. Everyone remembers them, some of us still play with them (N-scale here). The Atlas Model Railroad Company has completely revamped their website and has implemented the coolest online catalog that I've ever seen. If you've done any model railroading beyond a boxed set you got at Christmas, chances are good that you've used Atlas track. Check it out.

For the armchair modelers, Atlas offers this nifty freeware tool called Right Track Software 7.0. This lets you design that railroad empire of your dreams right on your desktop, and it's got an amazing numbers of features available, including the ability to print out parts lists once you've got things set to your satisfaction. Even if you never lay a single piece of actual track, you can spend hours playing with this.

The Connecticut Senate race has gotten interesting. Democratic incumbent Lieberman (former VP nomination) has incurred the wrath of the anti-war crowd by supporting the US war in Iraq. Their response has been to back a challenger, Lamont, who seems to be a one-note candidate: "Iraq is wrong". That candidate is running neck-and-neck with Lieberman, so Lieberman has filed to run as an independent if he loses the democratic primary. All polls show that he'd win handily in that situation, which poses something of a dilemma for state democrats. That's all background to this next bit, though.

MuNu's own Steve, from Hold the Mayo, lives in Connecticut, and he sent a series of questions to the republican candidate, Schlesinger, who will have to face off against whoever wins the democratic primary (and Lieberman, if he runs as an independent). Steve asks good questions, and then poses followups. Great job, and thanks to candidate Alan Schlesinger for taking the time to give solid answers to questions about specific issues. Agree or disagree, you know where this guy stands.

Hey, I went to Las Vegas! Guess what? Derek from Son of Cheese was also there, and in fact our visits overlapped. We didn't know it though (secretive bastard that I am), so we didn't meet face to face. Anyway, go read about *his* Las Vegas times, which also included a Penn & Teller experience, and a whole lot more food than mine did.

Also, over at Dick's Rocket Dungeon, we're treated to a great series from Dick himself about his trip to Vegas. His is even better than mine because he's got pictures of showgirls and exploding buildings! Woohoo!!!

During my last visit, I was lucky enough to witness one of those casino-implosions. If you ever get a chance to see a building demolition, go for it.

And finally, a note about Munu trackbacks. We've turned 'em off system-wide because so far this month, along with the one thousand or so valid trackbacks we've been bombarded with over four million spam trackbacks. Yikes!!! Thanks to our host Pixy Misa, who's been working overtime at this hobby of his to keep us up and running.

Posted by Ted at 11:49 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 21, 2006

The Dungeon on Pooh Corner

Found while innocently bopping around Google.

No, really.

Posted by Ted at 05:30 AM | Comments (0)

July 20, 2006

Pay attention before it's too la... nevermind

The Top 10 Unintentionally Worst Company URLs.

I mean, where else would you find Pen Island other than www.penisland.net?

Thanks to Zoe Brain for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 05:40 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

And you think *you've* had a bad week?

Imagine being this couple, who made it home to Washington DC after being evacuated from Lebanon, and then were immediately evacuated from their apartment building due to a broken water main.

McCollough, who joked that her bags were already packed, took the evacuation in stride.

They've since been given the all-clear to move back in, but water to the building is still out. As the newscaster on the radio said "at least in DC, nobody is shelling you as you evacuate".

Posted by Ted at 05:29 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

July 19, 2006

Blast from the Past

Someone visited Rocket Jones today from VoodooChild's site, which I linked to long ago. He's been inactive for a couple of years as far as I can tell, and I know he changed locations at least twice that I know of.

Besides being a serious rocker, his place also featured several great links to pinup sites on the net. So, because I'm a boob man instead of losing these valuable historical and interesting sites, I'll collect the live links here for your and mine future reference.

(obviously, these are NSFW)

Cheesecake: The Art of the Pin-Up

Hips, lips, & tits... it's Bettie Page!

Bianca's Boudoir

Domai - tasteful nudes

Dragstrip Groupies

Harlow Art

Hollywood Pinup

The Painted Anvil

The Pin-up Files

Pandemos the SecretMuse

Sex Kitten

Vintage Elegance

World of Pinup

Ok, one last thing. I have visited each of these long enough to verify that they're still there. I haven't spent any time checking everything out, so don't be whining about your free boob-shots not being of sufficient quality. Sheesh, uppity pervs. Who'da thunk it?

Posted by Ted at 05:02 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

July 18, 2006

I hereby deem this cool

I blatantly and shamelessly stole that title from BLUE.

Check this out:

Back in April of 1997, many comic artists participated in a massive swap, in that each of them did the art for a different one. Some were done by friends for each other pairing off, others were done in large "circles".

He's got many of them scanned, and you can see things like the swap between Blondie and Garfield, Dilbert and Family Circus, and chains like On The Fastrack as drawn by Sherman's Lagoon, Sherman's Lagoon as drawn by Baby Blues, Baby Blues as drawn by Herb And Jamaal, Herb And Jamaal as drawn by Broom Hilda, and so on.

Good Cool stuff.

Posted by Ted at 04:50 AM | Comments (0)

July 04, 2006

Another good reason not to blow your fingers off

Get your mind out of the gutter. I'm talking about poker chip tricks! Sorted by difficulty, with complete descriptions and video showing you how to do each trick.

Posted by Ted at 03:16 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 03, 2006

Steven Wright once said

"When I die, I'm donating my body to science fiction."

A while back I saw a television program about something that makes such perfect sense, but is so utterly revolting, that you want to retch and say 'doh!' at the same time.

There's a forensics research lab in Tennesee where they study human remains. I'm not talking about sterile anatomy and such, although some of that is done. This facility takes donated bodies and examines them as they decompose within the framework of an outdoor crime scene. In other words, they bury them in shallow graves, or cover them with leaves, or toss them into small streams, or wrap them loosely in a tarp. And leave them there. Then they watch and take notes. And by doing this under controlled conditions, law enforcement can better determine the facts when partially or wholly decomposed bodies are discovered.

Fascinating stuff, but not for the squeamish. The website is user-friendly, meaning it doesn't look like a documentary of "The Making of 'Jason the SlasherCamp Chainsaw Cannibal'". It's all rather polite actually. Positively mature.

Posted by Ted at 08:12 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

July 02, 2006

Makes one long for the days of William Hung

David the Hasselhof.

From Grant, who is now on my short list of people to punch for inflicting personal mental pain and anguish, or will be, when I stop laughing.

Posted by Ted at 06:33 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Funny but too true

Seen over at Babble-on, a most excellent place to while away some time.

What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together?

100 people who don't do dick.

At least 50 lesbians would be interesting to watch.

Posted by Ted at 10:07 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

If I had a billboard

I would hope I had half the balls this guy has (this one is pretty mild).

why1.jpg

The URL is given right there. Check out the archive of signs that this guy puts up in front of his business.

Posted by Ted at 10:01 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

June 29, 2006

Don't need to be no zen master for this one

From Diane, via Dustbury:

If Gore invented the Internet, why do so many Internet addresses start off with Dubya, Dubya, Dubya?

That's easy, it's because karma is a bitch.

Posted by Ted at 07:33 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 21, 2006

Can't you see? It's all about the fish oil!!!

From California Yankee:

Fred Krupp, head of Environmental Defense, says the President's plan to designate the Northwestern Hawaiian Islands Coral Reef Ecosystem Reserve as a National Monument creates the world's largest marine protected area.

All together now: How big is it?
About the size of California, the national monument will be 38 times larger than Yellowstone, and larger even than Australia's Great Barrier Reef Marine Park. It will consist of 139,000 square miles of largely uninhabited islands, atolls, coral reef colonies and seamounts, starting 160 miles west of Kauai, the remote 1,400-mile long string of islands extends to Kure atoll, west of Midway Island.

Now if Halliburton comes through on that idea to extract oil from coral...

Posted by Ted at 05:37 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Daydreams of Synergy

From Dustbury:

Boral Bricks' newest plant is in Union City, and when its test production run proved to be up to industry standards, Boral first thought about selling the bricks at a discount.

But no, you can't buy them: instead, Boral is donating the entire run to Central Oklahoma Habitat for Humanity, enough to build 54 houses.


Every time I hear "Habitat for Humanity" I immediately think of Jimmy Carter, and this time, because of the brick aspect a certain Edgar Allen Poe story came to mind right after...

Posted by Ted at 11:45 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

June 16, 2006

Mocking the random commuter

To the elderly gentleman seen on my drive home,

Sir, you are a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma (to paraphrase Churchill).

Your hair is white. Not gray. Not silver, but that dingy white that makes one think of yellowed old bone.

Despite the color, you have that odd youthful haircut that no one can miss. Maybe you think it reminds people of the Beatles. It made me think of Moe Howard of the Three Stooges.

You drove for most of ten miles with your right blinker on.

Yet you drove like a young bobsledder, seemingly immortal as you were weaving in and out of traffic, going so far as to straddle two lanes for long stretches as you decided which side would give you an advantage measured in seconds. Bonus points for using your turn signal, even though it was only correct half the time.

Finally, a word about your car. The Scion isn't cool. It looks like the box a Mini-Cooper came in.

Posted by Ted at 04:19 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

June 14, 2006

I guess this makes it official

I already knew it, but it's still nice to have confirmation.

Thanks to Lemur Girl, who's due congrats for completing her college degree! Yay!!!

She's got the low-down on the link above too.

Posted by Ted at 05:33 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

June 13, 2006

Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

Y'gads, another long forgotten regular feature exhumed from its shallow grave...

Zoe Brain tells about an open secret, namely that the two Mars Rovers are each carrying a piece of the World Trade Center aboard.

The company who built the drills on the robots' hydraulic arms are based just a few blocks from Ground Zero.

Staff at Honeybee Robotics fled clouds of dust and smoke when the Twin Towers collapsed.

And they decided to pay a "quiet tribute" to the 3000 victims of September 11 by putting debris from the attacks into their design.

Engineers at Honeybee turned two pieces of aluminium from the site into shields to protect the wiring on the drills. Each curved piece is the size of a credit card, and marked with the American flag.


Follow that link for more details and links.

More technology news from Random Nuclear Strikes, where we find out that a recent breakthrough might make hydrogen as cheap to produce as gasoline! Yay! Maybe, but there's a bit more to the technology than just making cheap fuel. Read and become informed.

In related (somewhat) energy technology news, Buckethead of The Ministry of Minor Perfidy links up to a new idea that's making waves, mainly by adapting an old idea to new technology. This looks promising.

Did you know that Mercedes makes a *Luxury* car?!?!?!?! Head on over to the Parkway Rest Stop and check out his sighting of a Maybach Motors creation.

Ah, employee handbooks. Source of endless amusement and/or teeth-gnashing, depending on your mood. Check out some detailed analysis of one such over at Nothing to see here, move along.

Finally, I've got good news and I've got bad news from the world of toons. Bad news first...

DeDoc posted about the passing of Alex Toth. Who, you may ask? Mr. Toth was the artist who did the original Johnny Quest, among other works. Doc has the links.

And in Toon good news...

Hearst's King Features Syndicate and Warner Home Video have finally come to terms, and 231 classic Popeye cartoons originally distributed to theaters by Paramount will be available on DVD.

The package also includes some made-for-TV cartoons, but what you care about here are the originals, produced from 1933 to 1942 by the Fleischer Studios and from then until 1957 (using some of the same animators) by Paramount's own Famous Studios.


Via Dustbury, who had a close encounter of the deer kind on the opening leg of his vacation.

I'll end it here on that happy note. You are happy, right? Original Popeye on DVD? I'm smiling.

Posted by Ted at 02:06 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

June 12, 2006

Return of the Son of the Great Random Google Google Google Junket

Way back in the early days of Rocket Jones, I was a blog-linkin' fool. There were many and varied ways I used to spread the love, as it were. One original idea was the Great Random Google Junket - aptly and beautifully named by Susie - where folks would leave various words in the comment section and I would combine them into Google searches and post the results.

As I mentioned, Dogette's comment gave me the impetus to revive the idea, much like lightning striking the mad-scientisty doodads erected atop Dr. Frankenstein's tower.

This may become a semi-regular feature again. In any event, and in order to invade Dogette's privacy, I dedicate this first one to her, and ask you all to put on your best Jan Brady voice and welcome the Rocket Jones Great Random Google Google Google Junket!

Interestingly, when I googled "poop" and "shrub" (two frequent topics at TND), amongst the expected horticultural sites were a surprising number of hits from anti-presidential mouth breathers. Easily distinguished from intelligent life by a complete refusal to offer anything resembling intelligent debate, they don't bother to degenerate to name-calling. They just start there and it quickly goes downhill. They are also strikingly alike in that they offer no alternatives or suggested ideas beyond "it shouldn't be like that".

Moving on, sort of, if we add the terms "privacy" and "orange" to "poop" and "shrub", we get a link to, ta-daaaaaahhhhh:

Harley's Poop Patrol. According to their website, they're number 1 in the business of number 2, and they service all of Orange county. I wonder if they've ever done a cameo on that television show. Their rates seem reasonable and they offer customer testimonials! How cool is that. Way to go Harley!

See what kind of shit (*ahem*) we get into during a Random Google Google Google Junket?

Triticale jumped right in and offered up "snorkel". Since I'm shining the giant bright spotlight of attention at Dogette, I combined "snorkel" with "dog" and came up with Snorkel Dog boxer shorts.

"I heart pesticides". So goeth the wisdom that is Dogette, now available thanks to this site.

And finally, in one of those odd good/bad situations, we find that Howard Johnson Enterprises (home of the bright orange roof) also produce "all season triamine weed and feed". I'd probably skip the salad bar next time you're at HoJo's, eh? Actually, I have no idea if it's the same Howard Johnson. I'm too lazy to dig deeper.

But not too lazy to find this (.pdf format) data sheet on Triamine2, which is described as "A three-way post-emergent selective broadleaf herbicide" with lots of other scary words listed after that.

Ok folks, so that's how the Great Random Google Google Google Junket works. Leave a word in the comments, and try not to get too out there with your vocabulary, since medical terms tend to bring up boring medical sites, etc. Get creative but keep it on the common end of the spectrum.

Do it for Jan.

Posted by Ted at 05:04 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

June 08, 2006

Precise

Over at Random Nuclear Strikes, AnalogKid defines several common units of measurement, and helpfully provides their metric counterparts.

A sample:

Yesterday, I used the term “Shitload”

1-Load = The amount of work you can reasonably get done in 8 hours

1-Buttload = 1 Load plus your lunch break

I read these last night with wife Liz and daughter Robyn over my shoulder, and we were all laughing out loud. Don't miss those metric equivalents!

Posted by Ted at 05:29 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Dang, no more live blogging I guess

Zarq-man is dead.

Maybe he can start a trend, you know, dead blogging.

Posted by Ted at 05:06 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

June 07, 2006

The resurrection of original content

Thanks to a comment by Dogette and the reinforcement by Buckethead, I'm seriously considering the revival of a regular feature of the early days of Rocket Jones. Renamed slightly, of course.

The Rocket Jones Great Random Google, Google, Google Junket.

What say you?

Posted by Ted at 08:19 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Meme-o-gram

That's when you take something and squeeze it until it ain't fun anymore. That's as good a description as any for a majority of the memes floatin' around out there.

But it has been awhile since I've played the meme game, so all I can say is, Susie can tap me anytime.

Here we go.

5 things in my fridge:
* yogurt
* reduced-cholesterol eggs
* regular eggs (for baking)
* reduced-cholesterol margarine
* butter (for baking)

5 things in my closet:
* large box full of unbuilt rocket kits
* assorted prom dresses from the girls
* "junk shelf" containing, among other things, spare AA batteries for my cordless mouse and keyboard
* Rachael's video camera (our old one)
* clothes of all kinds (I don't have a dresser)

5 things in my briefcase:
* foldable bluetooth keyboard for my PDA
* chapstick
* computer textbook that I'm working my way through
* mini-mag light
* Leatherman

5 things in my car:
* sunglasses
* bag o' bungee cords
* tarp
* umbrella
* ice scraper/window squeegee

5 people I want to torture with this meme:
* Link back here or leave a comment if you run with it

Posted by Ted at 06:45 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

June 05, 2006

Quick, before the server falls over again!

Mapgirl is hosting this week's Carnival of Personal Finance. Go, visit and usk djc nm87##2i----------

Posted by Ted at 11:33 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 02, 2006

From Boring to Bling

Pimp My Cubicle. We're doomed I tell ya. Freakin' doomed.

Posted by Ted at 05:06 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 01, 2006

How can you measure the size of a man's vibe?

The title is one of those eternal questions, asked in a purely spiritual sense.

I've been very naughty because I haven't written about this sooner, but it should be alright because "salvation is negotiable". At least, so says Father Nookie of the Church of Chaos.

No, my meds are fine, thanks.

See, it's like this... a while back I got this package in the mail. It was small, but packed full of concentrated coolness. As I pulled item after item out of the box, I was amazed at the generousity of Blue. What this guy did was to send me a care package full of music and poker goodies.

If you've been to Blue's place, you know that besides his day gig as a 'puter drone, that he's a blogger and podcaster. He's also a musician with a studio in his basement, and several self-produced CD's in his catalog. And that's what was in that little box.

Not long ago he finished up the soundtrack to a television documentary, and he included a copy of that. It's perfect for the Friday afternoon commute, when I need to stay calm. As an added bonus, being mostly instrumental, I can make up my own lyrics to serenade the idiot-du-jour in traffic.

This morning (and what reminded me to finally write something about this), I listened again to Church of Chaos: Snow White and the Seven Deadly Sins. Blue describes this as "industrial dance", and it's chock full of memorable wordplay set to catchy, hook-filled music. Great stuff, if you like the style. I do, it's excellent cranked up during my early morning drive to work.

Like I said, there were several CD's in the box, and I'll talk about the others real soon now. In the meantime, I really do recommend Blue's music, because everything I've heard has been good times.

This week Blue is in the studio, working on his latest Booze Monkey offering. Sometime this summer (I think), he'll be playing a live gig in Winchester, Virginia. I'm planning on going, and I think that it would make an excellent blogmeet as well. Stay tuned and I'll keep y'all up to date on future plans.

According to Miss Sin, the average length, erect, is 5 1/4 inches. So there's a physical answer to that metaphysical question.

Posted by Ted at 05:15 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 30, 2006

The Road To Hell Is Lined With Google Search Terminals

Remember, Google is Satan your friend.

Among the results returned for "Candy Baby Jesus":

Amazon sells a Nativity Chocolate Candy Mold set. Oops, "not available". Dang, 'cause that was just about perfect for when the Pope drops in and you want to offer him a little something sweet. I'm unclear on the etiquette here, would you nibble the savior feet first or head first? I think it would be funny to make one of these and gnaw the heads off of all the figures. Oh, and use white chocolate... hey, I just played the race card!!! Go, me!

Mapgirl, I'll save you a seat. Look for me near the boiling lake of blood.

Posted by Ted at 07:02 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

May 29, 2006

Memorial

My thanks go out today to every man and woman who has ever worn the uniform.

My grandfather served in WWI.

My great uncle served in WWII. This is the citation from his Medal of Honor:

NEPPEL, RALPH G.

Rank and organization: Sergeant, U.S. Army, Company M, 329th Infantry, 83d Infantry Division. Place and date: Birgel, Germany, 14 December 1944. Entered service at: Glidden, Iowa. Birth: Willey, Iowa. G.O. No.: 77, 10 September 1945. Citation: He was leader of a machinegun squad defending an approach to the village of Birgel, Germany, on 14 December 1944, when an enemy tank, supported by 20 infantrymen, counterattacked. He held his fire until the Germans were within 100 yards and then raked the foot soldiers beside the tank killing several of them. The enemy armor continued to press forward and, at the pointblank range of 30 yards, fired a high-velocity shell into the American emplacement, wounding the entire squad. Sgt. Neppel, blown 10 yards from his gun, had 1 leg severed below the knee and suffered other wounds. Despite his injuries and the danger from the onrushing tank and infantry, he dragged himself back to his position on his elbows, remounted his gun and killed the remaining enemy riflemen. Stripped of its infantry protection, the tank was forced to withdraw. By his superb courage and indomitable fighting spirit, Sgt. Neppel inflicted heavy casualties on the enemy and broke a determined counterattack.

He passed away in 1987. He was named "Handicapped Iowan of the Year" in 1970, and in 1989 the VA honored him by naming a wing of the Iowa City VA Hospital for him. A VFW post in Carroll, Iowa continues to award to scholarships each year in his name to the children of veterans.

My Dad was in the Air Force during the Korean conflict. He wasn't in-theater, and was medically retired after a devastating illness.

On my wife's side of the family, I know that Liz's Dad was a Marine, and at least two of her uncles served in Vietnam and made the Air Force their career.

Our son served a tour in the US Navy on the submarine USS Philadelphia. That boat is specially equipped to deliver special forces, and although he can't and won't say, I believe that they were directly involved in the initial stages of the Iraq invasion.

Finally, I'll include Shaun. Shaun has served two tours in Iraq with the US Army, and is the son of a friend that I served with during my Air Force days in Germany.

Thank you all.

Previous memorial posts on Rocket Jones can be found here and here.

Posted by Ted at 12:05 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Purty Pictures

Pixy Misa pointed out this nifty Java applet that graphs your website. Check out Rocket Jones in the extended entry.

RJGraphed.JPG

Posted by Ted at 09:19 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

May 28, 2006

Oops (kinda)

I should have mentioned yesterday that both Dick Stafford's Rocket Dungeon and Mapgirl's Fiscal Challenge have been added to the blogroll. Of course, if I would've done that, then I wouldn't have had a post today.

Posted by Ted at 08:10 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

May 27, 2006

Since I'm in some sort of weird "posting content" mood

Over at Pratt Hobbies blog, Doug has put up a picture of himself and his son Brian. Brian was my co-timer during the Team America finals.

Meanwhile, for the true tech-geek out there, check out this mashup of Google Maps that lets you track the orbital positions of satellites as well as letting you know when and where they'll appear in your sky over the next 48 hours. Tres cool! Kudos to Dick's Rocket Dungeon for the info and pointer.

Posted by Ted at 09:14 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Great Comment

You may or may not have heard about Lordi, the Finnish band that staged a huge upset to win the European version of American Idol*.

No? Over at the Ministry of Minor Perfidy, they have a bunch of pictures of this group along with plenty of background. Fun reading, even if you're not into "Arctic Death Metal bands" (and if not, why not?).

I liked this comment by the lead singer of Lordi:

"We are not Satanists. We are not devil-worshippers. This is entertainment. Underneath [the mask] there’s a boring normal guy, who walks the dogs, goes to the supermarket, watches DVDs, eats candies.

But my favorite part, which resulted in a massive choking fit caused by the ol' soda-through-the-nose effect, was when Mapgirl** wonders aloud in the comments:

Heh heh “eats candies” Candied what? Baby Jesuses?

Worth the click.



*More correctly, American Idol is our copy of Eurovision, since theirs has been held for 50 years. We are but an egg.

**Mapgirl is a long-time commenter at the Ministry (she was already there when I found them) and she has a personal finances blog. You should go say hi.

Posted by Ted at 08:03 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 07, 2006

Not Quite What I Remember

NASA creates some wicked cool animated mission videos, and the best I've seen was a version where someone added a background soundtrack of Lenny Kravitz' Fly Away.

This version is pretty good though, set to Nine Inch Nails Sunspots. Check out NIN to Mars.

Here's another, which leaves the original NASA audio intact. It's longer too, not edited down to fit a particular song.

Posted by Ted at 07:52 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

I remember

I remember seeing the pubic service announcement as a lad.

I don't remember it being a big problem.

Maybe a regional thing: Willie Mays warning kids not to play with blasting caps.

Thanks to The McCovey Chronicles for the memories.

Posted by Ted at 07:28 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

April 29, 2006

See what being a nice guy will get you?

A while back... ok, quite a while back, I mentioned an idea I had for a new banner. I was just hoping to pull it off using my basic photoshopping skills ("photoshopping" as a generic term, I have an older version of Paint Shop Pro, which isn't quite the same thing).

Derek, professional art-teest that he is, was kind enough to offer to create it based on my idea. His first go was awesome, but not quite what I had in mind. Second and third, closer. There are a couple of changes I'd still like to make, but tell me that ain't genius up top there, both in execution and concept.

Derek, you rock. Go Avs.

Posted by Ted at 07:13 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

April 26, 2006

One of the funniest things I've ever read

Over at Iowahawk, Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi (listed as "Senior VP, Al-Qaeda In Iraq") is guest-blogging.

Make sure you check out his past posts too, there are links in the article.

Thanks to Transterrestrial Musings for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 05:02 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 22, 2006

Fall back on the ol' reliable, and thinking about making it it's own category

Zombies, of course.

From Mookie, the agenda driven ZombiesDontRun.com.

And one from my personal bookmark collection: Zombie Astronaut.

Recommended.

Posted by Ted at 12:18 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

April 21, 2006

You can find most anything on the 'net

Via Mookie, who writes:

They got Bub!!!

Horror and monster masks of many famous (and gruesome) faces. Including Bub, official zombie of Rocket Jones (you'll have to scroll down a ways to find him).

Posted by Ted at 05:01 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

April 18, 2006

Did you hear the latest buzz?

Teledildonics!

Sometimes I just crack myself up.

But this could be huge. Imagine handcuffs where the lock is remote controlled like OnStar! Oh man, I can picture the commercials now.

I'm claiming first credit for publicly linking the ideas of teledildonics, bondage, and OnStar-style services. Anyone wanna invest?

Posted by Ted at 05:11 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

I've always said,

Surround yourself with interesting people, and you'll never be bored.

Doug Pratt tells a great story about his family history and where he grew up, a place called Robin Hill.

Posted by Ted at 05:02 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 17, 2006

It's Monday, have a laugh

Les Jones. No relation.

Posted by Ted at 11:08 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 13, 2006

The inherent relevance is staggering during this holy season

I mean, there's that giant rock that was rolled in front of JC's tomb, and then there's rock's giant moments. And in today's world JC might've called his apostles "peeps".

Check it out: Great Moments in Rock and Roll History - as reenacted by marshmallow peeps.

Thanks be to Dustbury for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 09:38 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Good thing the Ninja left his Pirate friends at home

My buddy Russ sent this link to me:

ATF agents are always on alert for anything suspicious — including ninjas.

Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearm agents, on campus Tuesday for Project Safe Neighborhoods training, detained a “suspicious individual” near the Georgia Center, University Police Chief Jimmy Williamson said.

Jeremiah Ransom, a sophomore from Macon, was leaving a Wesley Foundation pirate vs. ninja event when he was detained.

After being held in investigative detention, he was found to have violated no criminal laws and was not arrested.

The story is pretty funny, after the fact. It's easy to see now that the agents overreacted, but given today's environment I'm glad to see that they are paying attention.

Just in case though, I'm working up a list of people I suspect are secretly Ninjas and I'll be forwarding that list to the BATFE.

Posted by Ted at 05:04 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

April 05, 2006

Oooooooooo, I'm scared

Those goofy Iranians.

First they test fire their best missile. Then they claim they've got a sooper-dooper torpedo that acts just like the one they bought from the Russians (those same Russians who quit using it because it tends to malfunction in an entertainingly cataclismic manner). So what do they roll out next?

The Stealth Heliboat. Or something like that.

Or something like this!

Posted by Ted at 11:24 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

April 04, 2006

ROFLMAO

The Great Gatorade Conspiracy.

Thanks to Eric at Off Wing Opinion for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 11:30 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

April 03, 2006

Congratulations are in order

Buckethead is a new daddy! Yay!!! On Friday, his wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and everyone is doing fine. Go on over to the Ministry and say hi.

Posted by Ted at 05:55 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Excellent tagline

Spotted over at McCovey Chronicles:

Johnny Twobags doesn't have the blues and it makes him sad, brings him down...but not down enough to have the blues.

Check out the Rocket Jones Tagline Archive for more classic email philosophy.

Posted by Ted at 04:47 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 31, 2006

Fantasy come true

From Pratt Hobbies, the Surface to Idiot Missile.

Disclaimer: It's a sad but true fact that in today's world it must be explicitely stated that it's a joke. *sigh*

Posted by Ted at 09:58 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Forest for the Trees

File this under "why didn't I see this?", from Hold the Mayo:

How ironic that the argument goes that illegal immigrants are just here doing the jobs Americans don't want to do when the one job the government seem to be trying hard to avoid doing is dealing with illegal immigration.

For that matter, why doesn't anyone else see the simple beauty here?

Posted by Ted at 09:50 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 30, 2006

Whipping those tenants into shape

A Rocket Jones bondage post is long overdue, and wouldn't you know, the news provides the hook.

First of all, I have a problem with the headline:

Church ousts Dominatrix from Vicarage.

When you read the story, you find out that the Dominatrix rented the property from the church and she claims she held a long-term lease with an option to buy. Once the church found out what her business was, then they wanted to evict her.

She decided not to fight the church in court. They didn't "oust" her, because I suspect that they didn't have a legal leg to stand on.

A couple of questions come to mind. First, is being a Dominatrix illegal in South Africa? It doesn't appear to be, judging from the story. She had even given a tour of her "torture chamber" to reporters. Notice also that she didn't have sex with her clients and it wasn't a brothel. You were paying to be dominated by a woman, you weren't paying for sex.

Was there a "morals" clause in her lease? You know what I mean, something that states that the tenant will only behave in ways acceptable to the church. I don't know if that's enforcable, especially if said actions aren't illegal.

Finally, are any of the church congregation clients? Just curious. It would be professional suicide for her to mention names, because confidentiality would be crucial in her line of work. I wonder if any of the church members are heaving huge sighs of relief that this is all going away (semi) quietly.

Whip me, beat me, make me evict you. *snicker*

Personally, I think she was in the right, but decided that the fight just wasn't worth it. That's a shame. I'm all for tweaking the nose of authority whenever possible.

Posted by Ted at 05:55 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 28, 2006

EU. Pronounced "ew".

Nanny Stateism strikes again:

The European Commission is to propose legislation aimed at slashing "unproportional" charges on international mobile phone calls within the European Union (EU).

EU commissioner for information society and media Viviane Reding said the executive European Commission has to propose an EU regulation after mobile telecom operators failed to respond to her calls for lower costs six months ago.

"I have warned the industry repeatedly that price must be brought down, but it seems the industry has had trouble understanding my message," Reding told a press conference on Tuesday.

Got that? She asked telecom businesses to lower their prices, and they had the gall to ignore her. So her solution is to ram through a binding "regulation" that will force the companies to limit their rates. Never mind what charges the market will bear, you've got to provide another entitlement to all those unemployed youngsters I guess.

I love this part:

"There is no way that these prices are justified," said Reding. "The regulation would ensure that operators do not charge substantially more than the actual cost."

The wholesale savings of operators would then be made to pass on to consumers, she said.

Yep. Don't allow the Telecoms to make a profit, then pass the "savings" on to the people!

She dismissed fears that EU-level intervention would push operators to make up their lost revenue in the domestic market.

Of course she did. Cause and effect doesn't apply to fantasyland. Just ask the California electricity industry.

Posted by Ted at 04:37 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 24, 2006

Girls with Guns

More pictures of women in the military than you can empty a magazine at. Safe for work, but definitely not boring.

Thanks to the Jawa Report for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 06:05 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 23, 2006

Bummer times two

Jennifer hangs it up.

The guys down at Whitakers, North Carolina lost their flying field. It's not actually lost, it's just been turned into a corn field without prior notice.

Posted by Ted at 04:41 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

March 18, 2006

Got BUFF?

Uncle Sam does, and he's had it for half a century now.

Happy 50th Birthday to the B52 Stratofortress
. One seriously bad mofo.

Thanks to Transterrestrial Musings for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 07:22 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Pratt Hobbies Blog (aka "All the cool kids are doing it")

My friend Doug Pratt has started a rocketry blog, and named it, appropriately enough, Pratt Hobbies Blog. It will soon be on the sidebar.

He's off to a great start, including a post about how the BATFE is reacting to their recent smackdown by the Federal courts regarding rocket motors. Short answer: they are not taking it well, and it seems that the retaliation against the hobby has started. Read more over at Doug's blog, and, like most of us, he wanders off onto other topics as the fancy takes him. Check it out.

Posted by Ted at 05:58 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

March 17, 2006

Do it again and make the girl happy.

Princess Cat is closing in on her first MuNuversary and has a goal. Click the link and bump her hit counter.

Oh yeah, just like that.

Again.

Faster.

Don't stop.

And size does matter, so you higher traffic blogs should be joining in with a mention and links as well.

Treat the lady right.

Posted by Ted at 10:52 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 16, 2006

Vid Hits and Kicks

Over at Off Wing Opinion, Eric has been on a video jag lately. Check out the Alexander Ovechkin and Sidney Crosby highlights, and don't miss my personal favorite, the New Zealand National Rugby team doing a Maori Haka. Awesome!

Posted by Ted at 08:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Not So Different After All

I was visiting Wegglywoo and found a link to a new group blog that she's part of.

The post titiled The Rules of Life for Australian (Heterosexual) Men had me laughing out loud. Here's a sample:

11. It is permissible to quaff a fruity alcopop drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel and it's free.

26. The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was.


There's plenty more. Head on over, have a chuckle and don't forget to say hello.

Posted by Ted at 07:24 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 15, 2006

Job Openings in Exciting Times

Mark Oakley hadn't posted anything for quite a long time, which is understandable since he's busy working for one of the original X-Prize challengers. They're still in business, because being the first to do it (Rutan) doesn't necessarily count for anything more than historical recognition (is the Wright Aircraft Corporation still around?).

Anyway. TGV Rockets is hiring.

Related to that, check this out from RocketForge:

You don't steer the elephant, you just drive around him in your new car.

Go here to read the rest (it's short and to the point). Were I an engineer, I'd be begging these people to hire me.

Posted by Ted at 11:57 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

March 14, 2006

Ya don't gots to be no musish'nin to enjoy these

From Parkway Rest Stop, an abundance of amusing bass guitars.

Posted by Ted at 01:15 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 13, 2006

There are female astronauts because the guys won't stop and ask for directions

Rich points out that there are now Google Mars and Google Moon. Very cool.

While you're there, check out his link to the worst Transformer and GoBot characters ever. Laugh out loud funny!

Posted by Ted at 07:26 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

March 12, 2006

Pluto revisited

Not the frozen planet way out yonder, nor the Disney dog.

Project Pluto, which I talked about a couple of years ago, mostly in the context of the ramjet engine that was to be it's source of power.

For those needing a refresher, Pluto was to be a nuclear powered cruise missile, capable of Mach 3 at treetop level, dropping nuclear warheads in its wake. There were serious, ah, problems shall we say, with the concept. It was possible, but eventually people asked if it was desirable.

Thanks to Ghost of a Flea, we have a new link to a nicely detailed history of Project Pluto. Fascinating stuff.

Posted by Ted at 11:10 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 10, 2006

Digging through unposted "draft" articles

Alien loves Predator

Make your own Flying Spaghetti Monster. (Thanks Owlish!)

K, proprietor extrordanaire of Kimochii (Asian cuties in various stages of dress and undress), has combined his several sites into one. Enjoy K's Lounge (NSFW).

Posted by Ted at 09:49 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

March 04, 2006

If you didn't want to see it before, you really don't now

Over at Q&O, I saw that an animal rights group is complaining that Oscar nominee Brokeback Mountain was "too rough on sheep".

Stunt doubles? Setup for the sequel? I'll never know.

Posted by Ted at 08:23 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 01, 2006

Much to say, little time

If you do a search (over on the right) within Rocket Jones for "BATFE" or "Ashcroft", you'll unearth some posts where I talk about the hobby rocketry organizations in the US suing the Federal Government over their classification of our rocket propellants as explosives.

We won.

The BATFE is expected to appeal, although they're kind of stuck at the moment because in order to adjust their definitions, they'd have to classify other useful things as explosives. Things such as gasoline.

Basically, we've whupped 'em in every battle, but the war ain't over. Soon, hopefully, but the fat lady is still warming up her pipes.

In other rocket-related news, construction has begun on my Level-2 certification rocket. As soon as I get the beastie assembled, I'll post pictures. It's a bigg'un.

More rocket stuffs. BattlePark 2006 will be held again in Culpeper, Virginia on April 22 and 23. This is one of the biggies for the eastern US, with folks from all over attending (including those who say "eh?"). I'm planning on being there for both days.

Let's see... rockets... oh, how's about some hockey? Yepper, my beloved Sharks scored five, count 'em, FIVE power play goals and beat the mighty Detroit Red Wings last night. San Jose needs to rack up some wins to get back into the playoff hunt after their horrible start. They also signed goalie Toskala (maybe you saw him at the Olympics?) to a two-year extension to back up Nabokov (I know you saw him at the Olympics). If the Sharks play well, they'll keep 'em both, but the rumor mill is in high gear because Vesa Toskala is hot property right now (8-0-2 in his last 10 games) and that makes him worth some major trade value.

On the Cult Cinema front, I've been watching, I just haven't been writing! But I hope to remedy that in the near future. Zombies line dancing. That's just a hint.

Speaking of zombies, another couple of chapters of my serial story will be posted "real soon now". Honest. I haven't forgotten the title contest either, so you can sleep at night.

All that and more, coming soon to a Rocket Jones near you!

Posted by Ted at 11:27 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

February 05, 2006

Daniel Boone goes to the Blogmeet

Last night was the latest Washington DC blogmeet, and as usual the evening was highlighted by excellend company, conversation and plenty of excellent beer.

Princess Cat sent out the details after doing a test-run at the chosen meeting place. We gathered together at the Castle and Elephant Pub, on Pennsylvania Avenue just a couple of blocks down from the Capitol building.

Over time, it appears that our requirements for an acceptable gathering spot has evolved into:

1. Good Beer
2. Casual Dress
3. Metro Access

Now the walkabout portion of the evening happened when my wife and oldest daughter Robyn and I walked out of the metro station and found ourselves in the Woodrow Wilson Plaza smack dab in front of the Ronald Reagan building. Making our way to Pennsylvania Avenue, I confidently led us off in the wrong direction, and after making a grand circle, we found the pub when the ladies noticed the name etched into the windows of the building we were passing. We could see the entrance to the plaza from the front door. In my defense, there was no lighted sign for the pub.

We walked in (fashionably late) and immediately found the group busy trying to arrange tables and seating. Turns out that the pub lost our reservations, so we wound up rearranging tables for additional seats no less than three times during the evening.

Like I said, the highlights are always the company and conversation. The food was ok. Nothing special, although the appetizer platters were heaped with tasty bits. I did notice Robert the LlamaButcher looking a bit green in the gills as I feasted, but he was kind enough not to get sick at or on me while we talked.

The guest list included:

Princess Cat and blogless wonder stealth-blogger Matt
Victor and Nic
Buckethead
Lysander
Robert
Blogoline and her husband Jerry
Dawn (who's having hosting issues, link to be added when her home is settled)
Yours truly with Wife and daughter

There were several no-shows, and you were all missed and talked about behind your back. Neener neener.

We left somewhat early because Liz had been up early for work, and daughter Robyn still had some personal business to take care of (oh yes, she did).

Once again, another excellent evening. Thanks to everyone, and it was great seeing you again, or meeting you for the first time, and I'm looking forward to the next one.

Posted by Ted at 02:07 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

February 03, 2006

I thought it was 42

A couple of months ago I got an email from someone looking for information on how to get into blogging. BK mentioned that he'd started at Blather Review and from there was just kind of randomly clicking blog links.

I suggested that he head over to Blogspot and fire up something for free and give it a test drive, see how he likes it.

Go say hello to BK over at The Meaning of Life... Or Something Like That. He's interested in philosophy, gaming and science, and looks to have some controversial views on religion.

Hint: Turn on anonymous comments, many of us don't have blogger accounts.

Posted by Ted at 03:51 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

January 27, 2006

Tagged, I'm It

Meme of Fours. It finally found me, via Cat (who is one of three Virginia bloggers that I know using that name (he said, to explain the apparent confusion)).

Four Jobs That I've Had:
1. Games Barker at an amusement park
2. Security Police guarding nuclear weapons
3. Bartender
4. Tupperware Lady

Four Movies I can watch over and over again:
1. Father Goose
2. King Ralph
3. The Incredibles
4. Guarding Tess, Airheads, The Mummy (original or remake), Twister...

Four T.V. Shows I love to watch: (I'm not a TV fan)
1. Hockey
2. Football
3. History Channel
4. LOST

Four Website's I read Daily (I'll keep it to blogs):
1. QandO
2. Two Nervous Dogs
3. Dustbury
4. Dawn's Place (and much of the rest of the blogroll)

Four Places I've Been on Vacation:
1. Brussels, Belgium
2. Luxembourg, Luxembourg
3. Winnepeg, Canada
4. Good Thunder, Minnesota

Four Favorite Foods:
1. Cheese
2. Pork
3. Mexican anything
4. Soup

Four places I’d rather be:
1. Anyplace but the DC metro area

No tags, if you wanna run with it, go for it

Posted by Ted at 11:43 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

January 21, 2006

Chip off the ol' headstone-shaped block

Mookie sent a link to me, with the following note:

I think these are so awesome and would make a great coffee table... especially the child ones.

Here's what she's talking about.

Posted by Ted at 10:02 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

January 13, 2006

Congrats are in order

I've been reading Blogeline for a couple of years now, and I'm proud to announce that on Thursday she became a US citizen!

Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Go on over and leave her a message. And for the locals who're going to be at February 4th's get-together, she's planning on attending as well! It's shaping up to be a great party.

Posted by Ted at 10:25 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

January 07, 2006

Since we can't walk on water

Except for that one notable exception, that is.

Over at Hold the Mayo, Stephen links to the Whitbread Round the World sailboat race, renamed this year for corporate sponsorship like everything else these days. He's got a bunch of great links and a cool map of the course, which takes months to complete. Here's his description of one leg of the race:

Southern Ocean Here we come again! Iceberg dodging, gale riding, wave surfing, freezing cold, scary, knackering, frightening but FUN. (Yes for some the idea of surfing down a wave in a 70 foot boat in gale force winds while on the lookout for icebergs is considered fun.)

I crewed on a sailboat once. In calm weather. For fun. I have absolutely no idea what it would be like to do what these adventurers do. So I can visit their sites and read, because some of them are posting their daily logs and even video of the race.

Meanwhile, over on the other side of the country, PJ Swenson of Sharkspage gives the heads up on the 2006 Mavericks Surf Contest.

The Mavericks Surf Contest brings together 24 of the world's best big-wave surfers on just 24 hours' notice – between January 1 and March 31, 2006.

When the big waves arrive, the notice goes out and the surfers have to be there and ready to compete 24 hours later. These are serious surfers.

When Mavericks roared through Half Moon Bay last March, 30,000 spectators and two million television viewers in 70 countries watched the best big-wave riders on the planet conquer waves that crested at nearly 50 feet in frigid waters with dangerous currents, jagged rocks and the ever-present threat of the Great White Shark.

That ain't hype either. Check out PJ's page for more links and info.

Like Steve Miller said, "Everything's better when wet".

Posted by Ted at 08:56 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

January 06, 2006

*sniff* Damn

Lou Rawls, dead of cancer at age 72.

Posted by Ted at 06:39 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Maybe you've heard about this one

My buddy Russ sent this link:

Everything you see really happened in real time, exactly as you see it. The film required 606 takes. On the first 605 takes, something, usually very minor, didn't work. They would then have to set the whole thing up again.

Really, go see for yourself. It's absolutely amazing. Two minutes of pure genius.

Honda Accord Commercial.

(in the extended entry is the full text that Russ included, but seriously, follow that link first)

Subject: [Buy Sell Trade] "Rube Goldbert" mechanics . . . . I think you'll fine this intereting. In case you missed this one There are NO computer graphics or digital tricks in the film you are about to see. Everything you see really happened in real time, exactly as you see it. The film required 606 takes. On the first 605 takes, something, usually very minor, didn't work. They would then have to set the whole thing up again. The crew spent weeks shooting night and day. By the time it was over, they were ready to change professions. The film cost 6 million dollars and took three months to complete, including a full engineering of the sequence. In addition, it's two minutes long so every time Honda airs the film on British television, they're shelling out enough dough to keep any one of us in clover for a lifetime. However, it is fast becoming the most downloaded advertisement in Internet history. Honda executives figure the ad will soon pay for itself simply in "free" viewing. (Honda isn't paying a dime to have you watch this commercial!) When the ad was pitched to senior executives, they signed off on it immediately without any hesitation -- including the costs. There are six and only six handmade Accords in the world. To the horror of Honda engineers, the filmmakers disassembled two of them to make the film. Everything you see in the film (aside from the walls, floor, ramp, and complete Honda Accord) is parts from those two cars. The voice-over is Garrison Keillor. When the ad was shown to Honda executives, they liked it and commented on how amazing computer graphics have gotten. They fell off their chairs when they found out it was for real. Oh ... about those funky windshield wipers: On the new Accords, the windshield wipers have water sensors and are designed to start functioning automatically as soon as they become wet. It looks a bit odd in the commercial. As amazing as this is, the commercial is actually based on an earlier film from the 1970s called "How Things Move" by two Swiss self-destructing artifacts artists. Some sharp-eyed folks claim that tires rolling UPHILL necessarily require computer-generated effects. Not so. The sequence where the tires roll up a slope looks particularly impressive but is very simple. There is a weight in each tire and when the tire is knocked, the weight is displaced and in an attempt to rebalance itself, the tire rolls up the slope.

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/flash/honda-ad.html

Posted by Ted at 06:32 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

January 03, 2006

What kind of file is that?

Here's a handy list of file extensions and what they are.

Posted by Ted at 04:48 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Good on 'em!

Rhode Island Legalizes Medical Marijuana.

This makes me happy for two reasons. First, because there are demonstrated benefits to some cancer, glaucoma and AIDS patients from smoking marijuana.

Second, because it's an always-welcomed poke in Uncle Sam's eye when a state asserts its rights over the federal system. The correct answer is almost never "more government involvement".

Posted by Ted at 04:39 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

January 01, 2006

Heh, she said Balls

Over at Caterwauling, Dawn has assembled a spherical feast for the Carnival of the Recipes. I love these carnivals, and this edition features even more "must try"'s than the usual.

So head on over, because it's not like you're going to actually keep those resolutions, right?

Posted by Ted at 07:50 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Because I'm a traditional kind of guy

C'mon, you know it's true, Chuck Norris Jokes are a New Year's Tradition!

My favorites:

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

What, you got something against tradition?

Posted by Ted at 01:15 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

December 28, 2005

Now that you mention it, he does a have purty mouth

Over at the Ministry of Minor Perfidy they're hosting the latest edition of the Carnival of Tomorrow. Minister Buckethead has titled this one as "Carnival of Tomorrow #16, blatant link whoring edition".

So head on over and check out one of the coolest Carnivals making the rounds.

Posted by Ted at 12:21 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

December 25, 2005

From Me to You

I won't bother with a rundown on the loot that Santa left for me. Instead, I'll direct you to a few other places of Christmassy related internettedness.

First up, through Dogette - who has been sleighing me (get it?) me with her "12 Poops of Christmas" series (if you're not a PREMIUM USER, then you wouldn't understand) - I've met Jim of Parkway Rest Stop. He reminds me of CGHill's Dustbury, in that he combines charm and local color to create an always interesting and often funny visit. Give him a try, you won't be sorry. He's on the blogroll now too.

Speaking of Dustbury, I just had to include this bit:

Lawrence, Kansas Mayor Boog Highberger has proclaimed International Dada Month, and what's more, he's not adhering to that hopelessly-square business about having it one continuous month: it will begin 4 February 2006, end on 26 October, and occupy randomly-selected days in between.

The proclamation includes a classic line from German Dadaist poet Hugo Ball: "zimzim urallala zimzim urallala zimzim zanzibar zimzalla zam."

That kind of poetic genius just brings a tear to the eye.

Of course, any Christmas visit with Rocket Jones must include zombies! And in one of those frightrul synergystic happenings, we've got poetry about zombies!

Christmassy poetry about zombies!!!

From the Ministry of Minor Perfidy, we are directed to this heart-warming site and their reworking of The Night Before Christmas. A sample stanza:

I in my Kevlar(tm) and ma in Gortek(tm)
Had salvaged some canned goods from a truck that had wrecked
The children had rifles and covered our ass
As Grandpa raced over to siphon some gas

Bless us every one.

Finally, what would Christmas be without scantily clad asian ladies dressed up in red with furry white trim? Not safe for work. I'm going to check under our tree again, just in case Santa left me one and I missed it! I also learned that the name of the site, "Kimochi-ii", is Japanese for "feels goooood!". I've never watched Japanese porn, so I didn't know that. Consider that today's lesson in the "No Pervert Left Behind" curriculum.

Merry Christmas, y'all!

Posted by Ted at 08:35 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

December 22, 2005

Hockey is on TV, time for a Baseball post

Baltimore Orioles coach Elrod Hendrix died of a heart attack yesterday. Today would have been his 65th birthday. For those who don't know, Elrod was a catcher in the big leauges from 1969 to 1979, mostly with the Orioles. He was the starting catcher for the O's when they won the World Series from '69-'71.

When he retired as a player, he became a coach for the Orioles, and has been the bullpen coach for 28 years. In all, Elrod Hendrix made more appearances in an Orioles uniform than any other man in club history.

He didn't keep a low profile either, he was the unofficial ambassador for the O's, making frequent appearances at youth baseball functions all over the area. It's often said of those who pass away that "he was loved by everyone". In Elrod's case, that was the literal truth.

We're going to miss him.

In other news, the San Fransisco Giants sent overpaid has-been Edgardo Alphonzo to the California Anaheim's of Southern Angels (or whatever the hell they're calling themselves this week) for overpaid has-been Steve Finley.

From the ever-quotable McCovey Chronicles:

Enjoy Alfonzo, Southern California. Enjoy him to the last drop. There is no injury that can explain away just how awful he was, and his age-related decline started when he was about 29. He's truly an artist, both at the plate and around the bag at second. Unfortunately, the artist is Robert Mapplethorpe, and you don't want to know where that bullwhip is going. You think you might get used to it, but you never do.

On the plus side, with the addition of Finley, the Giants can boast an outfield featuring Barry Bonds (age 41), Moises Alou (age 39), and Steve Finley (age 40). This might qualify them for discount contract insurance through AARP.

Posted by Ted at 08:13 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

December 15, 2005

Color me naughty

Over at Kimochi-ii!!!!, K is posting his usual assortments of asian cuties in various stages of dress and undress (not safe for work!), but he's taken to grouping them by the color of their... whatever... they're wearing.

White.
Black.
Red.
Blue.

So far.

Posted by Ted at 08:32 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Tagged

I know I got this from at least two people, Cat being one of them. In one of those really odd happenings that make life so interesting and frustrating all at once, today Cat and I discovered that we work in adjacent buildings. The frustrating bit being that tomorrow is her last day there as her internship ends. We *will* be getting together for lunch, and possibly semi-regularly if I understand correctly that her friend "the blogless wonder" works there too (you'll remember him from the blogmeet we had in Old Town Alexandria).

Ah yes, Susie was the other. So be jealous guys, because I got double teamed by two lovely ladies! And don't believe Susie when she claims to be perfectly normal. *nudge nudge* *wink wink*

Ok, so onward to five weird things about me.

1. I am hopeless at math beyond the basics, unless I'm doing computer programming. Do a cruise missile flight simulation using three-dimensional vector geometry? No problem. Kids ask Dad for help with algebra homework? Brain lock, better ask Mom.

2. Lists. If I don't write it down, I'll forget it. Our desk is covered with post-it notes with lists of things I want to remember. I have to clean out my briefcase every once in a while to get rid of old lists and reminders.

3. My pockets. When I'm out, I'm almost OCD about patting my right back pocket to check that my wallet is still there. While I'm at it, the front pockets get a quick pat (keys in front left, pocket watch and change in front right), and my left back too (handkerchief and pocketknife). At work, I reach up and make sure my building badge is in my shirt pocket. I probably look like I'm feeling myself up sometimes.

4. I'm right handed, but when I practiced martial arts I always fought left handed. I'm a better shot left handed too.

5. I can sleep anywhere, anytime. Sitting up, laying down, in a car, on a plane, in the middle of an argument. Doesn't matter. Give me 30 seconds and I'll be snoring.

Bonus weirdness, because Susie brought it up. I must have ketchup on my french fries if they're crinkle cut, otherwise, no thanks. And the only other time I eat ketchup is with grilled cheese sandwiches. Unless I've got a bowl of tomato soup, then I'll dip the sandwich in there.

If you want to play, leave a link in the comments.

Posted by Ted at 08:02 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

December 01, 2005

Whew!

National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) is over. On the right sidebar is my personal not-quite high point, the bar reflects the last time I'd updated, before I lost that chunk of story. I'd gotten to over 30,000 words when that happened, and the aftermath left me with a little more than 25,000 done as of right now.

Needless to say, that was kind of a momentum crusher. I haven't written a word of it since, although I have opened the file a couple of times. I just haven't had the desire to recreate.

But as of now, I will. I'm going to finish this, dammit. Before the end of December too. I need a title too. Maybe after I post it and y'all read it, we'll have a contest or something. Hmmmm.....

File this next bit under "Yay!": Dawn made her goal! Fifty thousand words in November.

*standing ovation*

Those of us who tried and fell short realize just what an accomplishment that is. So head on over to Dawn's place and congratulate her. She put a helluva lot of work into it.

Posted by Ted at 06:08 AM | Comments (5)

Did I mention this?

I meant to.

Colored bubbles. Bubbles of color. I mean, when you blow the freakin' bubbles, they float away in technicolor. Time was, you needed blotter acid to see stuff like this.

Very cool, and you won't believe the vision, persistance, and science it took to make it happen. Go here, and then follow Rich's link to the fascinating background story.

Posted by Ted at 04:20 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

November 26, 2005

Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

The return of an old feature.

What if every sentence were ended with an "excuse me" instead of a period? Scientists have discovered that some fish fart as a means of communication. Thanks to Silflay Hraka (I think) for pointing this one out. Great one-liner over at their place too!

It's the electronic age version of learning about sex from your friends, I suppose. Welcome to Wiki After Dark (adults only), where you can hear the latest rumors and wild speculation about what sex really is. That might be a complete mischaracterization, because I haven't actually read through it. But I assume that like Wikipedia, there will be plenty of good information mixed in with the occasional outright lie or fallacy. Maybe like if you had thousands of opinionated childhood friends, and some were clueless, most were amatuers, and a few were actual gynecologists. Anyways, I now know that if I need to "get rid of crabs", I don't start with a big pot of boiling water and 1/4 cup of Old Bay seasoning. Thanks to Wegg for the pointer.

I love playing Slingshot Santa. From the Llama Butchers.

Michele did some photo live-blogging from the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade balloon prep site. Very cool pictures (scroll down to see 'em all).

Bou is blogging MRE's, military vernacular for "Meals, Ready to Eat". I had a few of the early versions, and dined on quite a few of their predecessor, the venerable C-Rats (rations). There's something about chowing down a can of sliced peaches with a date on it older than you are. So head on over and see what she and her two young boys think of "army food".

I'm not a big college football fan, but the history and trivia lover in me has really been enjoying Prochein Amy's weekly Texas Football posts. She talks about each Texas opponent and includes background information and plenty of stories and links about their traditions. Very cool.

Paul, of the defunct Sanity's Edge, had moved in with Shank, resident genius over at Id's Cage. Now, they've both joined forces with Jim and are now posting at Snooze Button Dreams.

Also, since I'm bringing back old crap, have a Rocket Jones recycled post from August of 2003.

Posted by Ted at 07:58 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

November 20, 2005

Carnival of the Recipes - 66th Edition

It’s a small world. Thanks to modern travel and communications, it’s getting smaller all the time. It’s a small, small world. It should surprise no one, then, that these Carnivals are wonderfully international. We see recipes that have grams and dashes, millies and rashers, and it just seemed to me that there was only one way to truly celebrate the international flavor of the Carnival of the Recipes, because it's a small world after all.

Babelfish.

I can hear the collective sigh of relief, because at least some of you were thinking it was gonna be... that other one (yeah, I know it was rather too obvious. Work with me here).

So amigo, instead of getting that obnoxiously addictive song stuck in your head (too late?), what you need to do is to grab that fish out of it’s bowl (and here you thought it was just a goldfish), hold it up to your ear, and read on.

But mon ami (I can hear you asking), what if I have no fish handy? I’ve heard - but have no idea if it’s true or not and amazingly enough Snopes doesn’t say - that if you don’t have a babelfish handy, you can use a frozen fishstick instead. The obvious limitations are that it’ll only work for Scandanavian languages and you’ll look rather silly with a fishstick sticking out of your head. Or not. Who am I to judge?

Yep, I put the babble in Babelfish. And so, without further adieu (oooo, he’s a multilingual defiler of language!), I present this 66th edition of the Carnival of the Recipes, complete with snippets translated into various languages and then translated back.

Thanksgiving Goodies

It's not surprising that there were several Thanksgiving related submissions this time around.

First up is an interesting recipe for brining turkey from Sun Comprehending Glass. Let's see what the babelfish says:

My low and slow peoples are basters; they form throughout the year marvelously from Peru after the year. Low slow and lots of the result in 10 hours to terminate to a bird. With however salt, leave the cook, who the time is not shortened, because none is requested, heat aways even the furnace to run.

Now how can you argue with that?

Blog o'RAM offers up a bit of zingbird, via Salsafied Turkey and Jalepeno Cornbread.

From Ziggarat of Doom, check out Awesome Turkey which is another variation on the theme, this time using a rub with olive oil and braised in a roasting bag.

Checking in with the fish:

It is a income of ordeal and a new idea, thus they are real the final publication of this for with. The band of friction is little different, marks the lack of sage for example. Moreover, I have fallen in the bags for the turkey. The oil of olive makes precisely as the order a work that the butter for crisping ascendant the skin, and I like the aromatic substance more. Big pinchments and small pinchments they are a entire grass, usually for big make, you go there and [unintelligeble] the money in the fresh grasses.

Of course, you could follow the link above and see the original directions, but I'm a road less travelled kinda guy.

The Clog Almanac shares this side dish: Asparagus and Wild Rice Pilaf. It's on my to-try list.

Here's a repost from last year about a variety of Thanksgiving recipes, wine recommendations and more. Good stuff from The Glittering Eye.

Next up, we get a trio from Booklore: Thanksgiving Appetizers, Ambrosia Salad , and Perfect Cranberry Sauce.

Growing up in California, we just called Ambrosia fruit salad, and we were living large if Mom tossed mini-marshmallows into the mix.

Here's a quick and Easy Orange Survival Glaze for ham or turkey, from The Pragmatic Chef.


Non-Holiday Goodies and Yummies

(although there's nothing that says these wouldn't be wonderful then too)

From One Happy Dog Speaks, we get a twofer, Yeast Rolls and Cinnamon Rolls, from the same basic recipe. As an added bonus, there's a nifty hot-doggy variation in the comments. Yay Hats!

Whoa, that was totally random.

Cornbread. If you love it, there's no need to say more. If you don't, then you'll never understand. Two varieties, courtesy of the Pajama Pundits.

From Leslie's Ombibus, we're treated to Oxtail Soup. Mmmmmm, soup.

Two, two! Chicken and Sausage Gumbos! One easy-peasy, one a little more involved, thanks to Everything and Nothing.

This is the definition of comfort food.
Salisbury Steak
, and One for the Road shows us how to do it the easy way.

Babelfish chimes in with:

Simmer related to meanly excessive heat 35-45 minutes until the sausse was not thickend and the tortini were cooked through.

For the more gentle cooks, follow the original directions. You gangsta peeps can use the meanly excessive way.

Risoto with Arugula, Sun-Dried Tomatoes and Cheeses. Doesn't that sound great, in a completely "I'm so sick of turkey" kinda way? Thank Cooking Capers for this one.

My Favorite Mushrooms. Apparently there's a problem with Oasis of Sanity this week, because I kept getting 404 errors while trying to access this. I mention it here to tempt you and tease you and make you come back next week like Pavlov's dogs, hoping for a working link.

ArmyWifeToddlerMom presents Another Pretty Salad. She notes that this versatile salad looks great on the holiday table, so I could have included it up top with the Thanksgiving dishes. But to me, this says "summertime dinner" too, so I put it here instead.

Chicken Paprikas is comfort food with a nice little twist, and like most soups and stews, it gets better if you make it a day or two in advance. Seriously Good shares this one, and it looks seriously good.

Elisson checks in with Beef Stew with a Difference, aka Beef Rendang. This is for those who like a little curry heat with their moo. Because I'm a thoughtful guy, I won't even mention the groaner he tosses in at the end of his post (oops, guess I just did).

From Special Fried Rice, we're treated to a recipe for one, namely Low-fat Chicken and Broccoli Alfredo.

Even the fish likes it:

The part of my process to learn of new good eating habits implies to try to calculate outside in a way to eat the foods that taste without the problems has associates to they. A fat version is weak here. Taste sauce Alfredo! This perfect age, densely and that he is rich.

From down south, no, farther south... waaaay south. Not that far south. Leave the penguins alone, they'll eat your babelfish. I talking about Kiwi south, specifically KeeWee's Corner, where we get a nice recipe for Tacos in Pasta Shells. Sounds good to me, I'm a Mexican food fanatic.

S.O.S. is its very own food group, although some would dispute using the word "food" in that sentence. Fill'er Up, Hon? shows you how to do it right, and when it's done right, it's wonderful.

From my good friend Tuning Spork, we get Baked Apple Sauce. He originally called it Twice-Baked Apples, so don't let the post title fool you. With his link, he adds the following advice:

Just remind people to go easy on the spices as they prepare the sauce -- tasting it for good balance. It's easy to go overboard!

This one... Mmmmmmmmmmmmm. Chicken Torte Milanese with Tomato Basil Sauce. Thank you ApparatChick.

From TechnoGypsy, we get Lamb Shanks, because you can't roast the shanks or they'll burn (I didn't know that).

Now if you need something vegetarianish, I highly recommend this Three Sisters Stew. From Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax, who always has interesting recipes to share, and the background stories to go with them.

Babelfish snippet:

The research revealed far more the auxiliary advantages of this "companion, it planted." the bacteria colonies in the roots of the bean take prisoner the nitrogen of air, something from which it in the soil are inserted, in order to feed the high needs of the nitrogen of corn.

Doesn't that sound so very German? All that research and scientifical talk and taking prisoners and stuff. Check out the original, just trust me on this one.

Courtesy of SilverBlue, we get this delicious sounding Spinach Stuffed Chicken. The best part is, by this time next week you'll all be saying, "hey, it's not turkey! Yay!"

Tuna and Caper Pasta, from FrazzledDad. It's all in the quality of the ingredients.

Blogeline's Journal offers up this heavenly-sounding Guinness Beef or Venison Stew. I'll be trying a pot of this in the near future.

Over at The Common Room, there's a sweet post full of ideas on being frugal in the kitchen and incorporates several recipes as well. Among them is Stir Fried Sweet Potatoes. Check this one out.

From Third World County, this simple classic: Black Beans and Rice.

Russian translation:

Wash and sort beans. I usually make this with the large tank and the grid. Beans in the grid, the water in the tank. Beans of water pipe surplus. You can develop mechanics.

They invented beans, you know.

Yummy prawny limey recipe (can be done with chicken). Gotta love a recipe with a name like that! Might as well break out the tequila since you already have all those limes sitting around being lazy. Thanks to Aussie Wife for this one.


Desserts

Not just Rum Cake, but Yummy Rum Cake (as if there's any other kind!). Thanks to In the Headlights for this one.


Slap Your Mama Chocolate Cake
is presented by a feisty guest-poster over at Not Exactly Rocket Science (Yay Rockets!). Sinful is a descriptive word that comes to mind.

From Vermont's own A Weight Lifted, have a slice of Maple Pumpkin Pie.

Via Morning Coffee & Afternoon Tea, we get this chocolate yummy: Cocoa Apple Cake. She promises pictures next week, so in the meantime, let's let babelfish paint a picture with words:

Criminy, I missed the chocolate Friday almost. Still. I was, you thus do not employ work and trying to finish with of Thanksgiving, have to me much time to think have.

Ok, so it's a crayon picture. Hang it on the fridge.

Bananas. Bars. Bananas behind bars. There's an odd kind of synergy here, that makes me want to write absolute crap like that take Hollywood by storm. In the meantime, while I wait for them to beat down my door, I'll pass the time by making Best Banana Bars Ever. Thanks to Notes in the Key of Life, because these are going to become a staple in our house. Gotta keep those bananas off the street, you know, before they go bad.

Once again from SilverBlue, he offers up Three Emergency Deserts. I'm not sure about the emergency part, these look good enough to make just because.

Blueberry-Pear Clafouti is a baked pudding, courtesy of Blonde Sagacity. This looks so good, it's also on my "try soon" list.

More excellent goodness from The Glittering Eye, Pumpkin Chiffon Pie.

The above were in no particular order other than being in broad categories. Any implied preferences or rankings are solely in your own imagination and they have drugs now that can help people like you. Or me, for that matter.

One last pass through the babelfish:

All preferences or the implicit places are only in their its fancy and have drugs now that he can help you the people. Or me for this material.

Deep. In more than one way too. Anyway, I hope you go visit all of these people and make their food and share the results with the rest of us. Thanks for stopping by (and y'all are welcome back any time), and thanks to everyone who sends in recipes, who hosts, who keeps things organized, and especially my agent and my family and my...

Sorry. Storming Hollywood and all that.

Next week, the Carnival will be hosted by the Lost Budgie Blog, who will almost certainly not continue this babelfish silliness. Which reminds me, go put your fish back into its bowl, or the freezer, and for pete's sake don't get them mixed up.

Yay Hats!

Posted by Ted at 11:01 AM | Comments (14) | TrackBack

November 16, 2005

Found

There's a small resort island in the Philippines called Boracay. They've been voted the "Best Beach in the World". If you ever go, there's a bar there called the Hobbit House. All the waiters and waitresses are midgets. Stop by, have a drink and since you're there, ask for the owner. When you meet him, tell him "Ted says hey".

His name is Paul. He's my best friend.

Posted by Ted at 07:14 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

This seems like an excellent idea

Busy busy, so once again I lift entire:

There is a project underway that will reduce the amount of dependence placed on the government when a natural disaster strikes one of the coastal states (Atlantic, Gulf or Pacific). The projects name is Operation Enduring Service and was created by Beauchamp Tower Corporation.

Posted on phin's blog and cross-posted at Confederate Yankee are calls to press Senators to insert a rider that will allow this to happen. Due to time constraints the legislation required to make this happen is dangerously close to falling by the wayside-in fact it has to pass before Congress ends this Session (less than 14 days).

The project calls for the transfer of decommisioned and obsolete military ships to an established award-winning nonprofit organization that will convert them into powerful and 100% volunteer-funded floating rescue and recovery vessels to assist those in need in the wake of natural and manmade disasters.

Via Operation Enduring Service:

So, you want to see what these old girls will be able to do? Here's a list of only a few things we can provide during a Coastal State disaster (such as flooding or a hurricane)

----Service a disaster area of up to 10,000 square miles (up to 100 miles inland) with minimal (if any) outside support

----Provide complete berthing facilities for up to 400 emergency responders "on scene" at a disaster site

----Fully integrated communications system serving all local, state, and federal agencies, as well as cell phone coverage and military band frequencies--allowing for seamless communications between all disaster scene personnel, no matter what radio frequency or cell phone is being used.

----Daily provide 110 tons of bagged and palletized ice to the disaster region

----Daily generate, bottle, and palletize up to 50,000 gallons of fresh water

----Provide refueling station and loading platform for helicopters operating in the disaster area

----Carry over 7,000 tons of food and supplies for a disaster area

----Store (and provide delivery of) 700,000 gallons of diesel, gasoline, and aviation fuel for use in the disaster area on emergency vehicles and critical needs generators (hospitals, emergency operation centers, etc)

.......and that's just one ship.

They're talking about fielding two ships, not one... a regular "Salvation Navy." We have a chance to make a great deal of difference in future disasters (these ships may be ready for the '06 hurricane season) but we must act now. Think of the number of lives saved and the peace of mind that can be brought, while saving the government and tax payers money.

Any help you can give in the form of summoning your readerships to help press the key senators listed (and their own) would be greatly appreciated.

There it is. I call and/or write my congresscritters fairly often on various matters. This time, it won't be to gripe about something, it'll be to suggest that this needs to be done. You should too, it can make a difference.

Posted by Ted at 05:06 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

November 11, 2005

Picking at it like a scab

I visited my friend Dave's blog yesterday, and something I read there really bugged me, but I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was. He's Canadian and we disagree on many things. I say that for context, because I'm quite far to the right of Dave, or he's far to the left of me depending on how you look at it. Anyways, this morning while doing drywall (have I mentioned how much I hate doing drywall?), I was turning it over in my mind and I understood what it was about Dave's post that annoyed me so.

He wrote:

Sure the Liberals were corrupt, EVERY government is corrupt as long there are men and women sitting in positions of power. Corruption breeds in backslapping handshaking environments where people get paid 6 digit figures for working 20ish days a year. Deal with it.

Dave, you should never just "Deal with it" when it comes to your government. That kind of milquetoast, bend-me-over-and-please-sir-can-I-have-another attitude is exactly what those ruling bastards are counting on. You, my friend, are a fucking SHEEP, and if I saw you I'd kick you in the balls to remind you that they're there.

If your government screws you over (and by all accounts, they've been screwing you long and hard), then you vote them out. Don't like the opposition? Fine, hold your nose and vote the current party out anyway. Because you never ever reward corruption and theivery by allowing them to remain in power. And if the next government turns out to be as bad, then you vote those assholes out too, and you keep doing your goddamn job as a citizen until someone running for office understands that the people aren't going to put up with "business as usual" and cleans up their collective act.

Being screwed by your friends feels no different than being screwed by the other guys. If you don't recognize that, then you've already given up. You have the ultimate authority in your form of government, yet you're too lazy to use it.

A wise man once said that people get the government they deserve, and Canada is living proof of the accuracy of that. It doesn't have to be that way.

Posted by Ted at 10:04 AM | Comments (9) | TrackBack

November 09, 2005

The Wingbeat Project

I saw this over at QandO (busy bee this morning, so I pretty much just lifted Jon's writeup):

The [Wingbeat Project] blog is "designed to help solve society's biggest problems by jumpstarting the generation of good ideas." How it works:
Each month, the Wingbeat Project will announce a new topic or social problem. Visitors will be invited to submit ideas for addressing the social problem, along with a contribution that helps us keep going in our grassroots efforts. At the end of each month, we will choose a winner from the best ideas, and the winner will receive a cash award.

And your good ideas will be publicized. It's a good way to spread your ideas for social change, with, as Wingbeat says, "a bias toward ideas that involve little or no government intervention".

The best way to minimize the demand for more government is to make it irrelevant. Check out Wingbeat and contribute an idea.

Pointing out a problem is a small step towards making it right. If you don't offer solutions, then you're only griping.

Posted by Ted at 06:10 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

November 08, 2005

That's pronounced "Der-eeque", I'm sure

Hockey Whoopass Jamboree trash talk?

einsteinshow.jpg

A thousand words, mon ami! A thousand words.

Posted by Ted at 03:52 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

November 07, 2005

Baaaaaa

Jennifer did it.
Lots of other good folks already did it (and more too that I'm too lazy to link to right now).
So I did too.

WikiBlog.

Posted by Ted at 06:39 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Putting my inadaquacies out there for all to mock

Over on the right sidebar, a snazzy little meter found courtesy of Dawn. It shows the National Novel Writing Month goal of fifty thousand words, and how many I've actually accomplished so far.

I don't know if I'll reach the magic number or not. My goal is to finish the story.

Posted by Ted at 03:52 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

November 04, 2005

NaNoWriMo update, as if you care

This isn't going to become a constant and consuming blogging subject. Be relieved or disappointed as you wish.

I'm leaning towards waiting until the story is complete before posting the whole thing all at once. That lets me sneak back and edit the plot without y'all knowing about it ("Luke, I'm your uncle").

Here's my writer's profile for those interested in seeing how many words I've reached, and there's an excerpt there too.

If, IF, I decide to do this again next year, I'll be writing erotica. I figure "in... out... in... out..." oughtta be good for five or six thousand words right off the bat.

Posted by Ted at 04:30 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

November 02, 2005

Anniversary

Ken and Squip's one-year anniversary podcast is up! Listen to one of the first, and still one of the best podcasts going. Hear me. Hear Cindy talk about me talking about her breasts. And that's not even the best part of the show!

Now, where the heck did we store those champagne glasses?

Posted by Ted at 08:27 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Bye Skitch

Conductor Skitch Henderson died at age 87.

"When it's right, applause sounds like vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce."

Sounds right to me.

Posted by Ted at 05:55 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

November 01, 2005

A Spooktacular Edition of the Carnival of Music

By the guys at the Ministry of Minor Perfidy. Check it out, there are tons of interesting links to follow this time around.

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Spoilsport

Thanks Margi, via the Llama Butchers.

15525.jpg

Make your own here.

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October 31, 2005

Lucky Guy

That's me. I don't know how I got on Derek's good side* but all I do is mention my sucky banner and he whomps up a great one instanter.

Thanks muchly.

*Oh, now I remember. It involved gifts.

Posted by Ted at 05:55 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

Words, water, ice, air

Like the title? How very zen of me.

Yeah, right.

On Saturday I once again travelled into our nation's capitol, destination: The Smithsonian's Hirschhorn Museum. When Dawn and I visited a few weeks ago, it was raining hard all day, so we didn't get to experience one exhibit that sounded cool.

It was called "Words Drawn In Water" (this was the last weekend for it), and it was a walking guided tour while wearing an iPod shuffle and headphones. The audio track told you where to walk and pointed out various things along the way, and also included snatches of music, interviews and ambient sounds as you walked along. But this wasn't a regular guided tour, because there were several surreal moments when unexpected insights and visions were planted in your mind's eye.

Very nice, and I'm bummed that it's over, because I definitely would've loved to have gone again.

Afterwards, I visited the Air & Space Museum, specifically to see SpaceShipOne. I had prepared myself to be underwhelmed, because so often you see something like that and think, "wow, that's smaller than I expected." Not this time though. It was actually quite a bit larger than I thought it would be. It's hanging from the ceiling, between the Spirit of St. Louis and the Bell X-1 (the orange X-plane, I think it's the X-1).

Brandon, over at Down With Pants!, is also going to participate in NaNoWriMo. He's also playing in the Hockey Whoopass Jamboree, and kindly displayed the logo of my beloved Sharks when his Kings came up just short last weekend (what a heartbreaker, but better you than me, bucko!).

Words. Check.
Water. Check.
Ice. Check.
Air. Check.

Bye bye.

Posted by Ted at 12:06 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

NaNoWriMo

National Novel Writing Month.

I know of two friends who're going for it (and/or the variation thereof), and I've been poking the idea with a stick. It hasn't jumped up and bit me yet, but it's not fully awakened yet either. We shall see.

Posted by Ted at 05:55 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

October 29, 2005

How many times have I told you not to leave your clothes lying all over the ceiling?

Wegglywoo has a fun look at beach bathing boxes, down under.

Posted by Ted at 07:51 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 28, 2005

ePumpkins

Carve your own virtual pumpkin here.

Here's mine (click for big, scary jump-out-at-you size):

RJPumpkin.jpg

Thanks to The Ministry of Minor Perfidy for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 09:24 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 27, 2005

Friends, Romans, Countrymen

I took the "Which Historical General Are You" test, found over at Naked Villainy.

Results in the extended entry.

Julius Caesar
You scored 59 Wisdom, 81 Tactics, 56 Guts, and 54 Ruthlessness!

Roman military and political leader. He was instrumental in the
transformation of the Roman Republic into the Roman Empire. His
conquest of Gallia Comata extended the Roman world all the way to the
Atlantic Ocean, introducing Roman influence into what has become modern
France, an accomplishment of which direct consequences are visible to
this day. In 55 BC Caesar launched the first Roman invasion of Britain.
Caesar fought and won a civil war which left him undisputed master of
the Roman world, and began extensive reforms of Roman society and
government. He was proclaimed dictator for life, and heavily
centralized the already faltering government of the weak Republic.
Caesar's friend Marcus Brutus conspired with others to assassinate
Caesar in hopes of saving the Republic. The dramatic assassination on
the Ides of March was the catalyst for a second set of civil wars,
which marked the end of the Roman Republic and the beginning of the
Roman Empire under Caesar's grand-nephew and adopted son Octavian,
later known as Caesar Augustus.
Caesar's military campaigns are known in detail from his own written
Commentaries (Commentarii), and many details of his life are recorded
by later historians such as Suetonius, Plutarch, and Cassius Dio.



My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 17% on Unorthodox
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 53% on Tactics
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 60% on Guts
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 59% on Ruthlessness
Link: The Which Historic General Are You Test written by dasnyds on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Posted by Ted at 05:18 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

October 24, 2005

Repost From Last May

We Walk the Levee.

Posted by Ted at 04:11 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

You know you want one

T-Shirt.

From Buckethead, at the Ministry of Minor Perfidy.

Posted by Ted at 06:11 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 23, 2005

Knitted Tits

This page gives directions on how to knit a replacement breast for women who've undergone a mastectomy.

What a beautiful idea! Thanks to Rachel Ann for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 08:17 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 22, 2005

pssst... it's a mystery

This is kind of a non-linking linking thing, but if you go over to the right sidebar and scroll down (or do the search thing... not the box, the cntl-F search), look for Two Nervous Dogs and click on it.

Behold one of the funniest, most original and creative people I've never met but wish I could someday.

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October 20, 2005

Blogmeet Pictures

John posted pictures taken at last weekend's get together.

Posted by Ted at 12:01 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

October 19, 2005

Early preparation is the key to successful gardening

Robbo the Llamabutcher has spent considerable time defending the ol' homestead from deer and rabbits. The cute, cuddly and innocent woodland creatures believe that a beautifully maintained flower garden means "salad bar". You can try to scare them away, you can put up fences or many other time-tested methods that don't work all that well, because when Bambi and Thumper get hungry your garden looks a helluva lot more appetizing than Mother Nature's ordinary fare.

Being a fellow gardener (although I don't share the wildlife problem), I was inspired the other night while watching an old movie on TV. So Rob, here's what you do...

First, build a sandbagged bunker atop one corner of your roof, near the trouble spot in the garden.

Next, hire George Takei. I can't imagine that he's not available, and it'll be a nice change for him to dress up in cammo fatigues rather than that threadbare Star Trek uniform.

You'll need to do some secret prep work, probably at night so that your neighbors and the animals don't know exactly what your defenses are.

When the time comes next Spring, be in the bunker with George. And when you spot Bambi and friends dropping by for a midnight gnosh, George will smile at you inscrutably and say, "I was prepared for that". Then he pushes a button on a small box in front of you and FWOOM!!!! Bambi, Thumper, and the rest of the critters are incinerated by carefully laid out trenches full of foo gas.

Remember, the key to successful defense is overlapping layers and depth, so you should be prepared for a second, third, or even fourth wave of mixed-grill on the hoof.

I wondered about the authenticity aspects, and decided that you should probably forego blowing up the little dog with a mortar. To make up for it though, you could wait for the inevitable visit from PETA, and then snare one and fling him into a wall of punji stakes. That would probably persuade them to leave and might even cause the local police to look upon the agressive but justified defense of your personal property in a more lenient light.

Let me know how it goes.

Posted by Ted at 05:12 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 16, 2005

An Excellent Evening

Last night, I had the extreme pleasure of meeting several local - and one very not-local - bloggers for dinner in Olde Towne Alexandria. John Lanius of Texas Best Grok got the ball rolling a couple of weeks ago via email, because he would be in town on business, and was wondering if it would be possible to set up a blogmeet.

Besides John, those in attendance included Cat of A Swift Kick and a Bandaid, her blogless friend Matt, Dawn of Caterwauling, Lysander (who is alive and kicking, despite the evidence at his blog), Robert the Llamabutcher, Naked Villainy's Maximum Leader, and Buckethead of The Ministry of Minor Perfidy. Oh, and yours truly.

As usual, it was like getting together with old friends even if most of us had never met each other. The food was good (mine was, I don't recall hearing anyone else mentioning it), and the conversation excellent. Topics ranged from the history of communism to TShirt Hell, and just about anything and everything in between. Four and a half hours later, we settled up and on the way out the conversations continued on the sidewalk out front.

For the locals, Nic has suggested a get-together for a Washington Capitals hockey game one evening. I'm up for that!

Posted by Ted at 12:50 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

October 14, 2005

This is not my story

If it were, I'm not sure I would tell it.

“I was driving my wife’s car the other day and saw a little round thing in the cupholder, thought it was a cigarrette lighter. I looked at it, it had a little handle you turn and push down so I thought, yeah, it’s a lighter, I wonder what the wife is doing with this- she don’t smoke. So I pushed the button down to see if it still worked and maced myself. It weren’t any damned fun, I’ll tell you that.”

Thanks to Random Nuclear Strikes for the pointer.

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Everything's better with a redhead

Derek is a mad genius.

girlsatwendys2.jpg

(click to add bacon, Dave would've wanted it that way)

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October 13, 2005

Something to look at

Check out these beautiful galleries of photographs taken by Amy's anti-Mother-in-Law (must be a Krypton thing).

Posted by Ted at 06:11 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

October 10, 2005

Ok, this is really mean

I'm sorry, but I laughed so hard at this. Warning: animal lovers or people without a sense of humor should NOT click that link.

Thanks to the Llama Butchers for the link.

Posted by Ted at 08:14 AM | Comments (14) | TrackBack

October 09, 2005

Oddses and Endses

It's all in the details.

With all the rain we've been having the past two days (measured in inches), our basement is flooding a little bit. So I've been doing the towels on the floor, spin and dry, sop up the excess from the carpet with the cleaner, etc. That's the hassle part of it. The benefit side is that the creeks around us are all full to bursting, and when I went to let the dogs out this morning, you can hear the water rushing in the background. Very nice.

The Carnival of the Recipes is up over at the Glittering Eye. There are the usual collection of outstanding dishes for every taste, contributed by people from all over the world. Go check it out.

Last week I was in the back upstairs bedroom (3rd floor of our townhouse), painting near the window, when I was startled by a flash just outside the glass. I witnessed a magnificent little aerial battle as a large blackbird was chased off by one of our local hawks. They were like two nimble fighter jets, wings extended, banking and darting as the blackbird tried to shake the hawk from his tail. The hawk was close enough that, had he wanted, he could have snatched a tail feather from the blackbird with his talons. They fell two stories and, at the last second the blackbird broke hard left, over the back fence and out of the area. The hawk leveled out and glided across the back meadow to the wood, where he perched in a tall tree and stayed for a while, as if surveying for further intruders.

When I got home last night I checked on the hockey scores and noted that Brian's St. Louis Blues were in the process of whooping on my beloved Sharks. This morning I inteded to go find a Blues logo to post here, in accordance with the prophesy the rules of the Whoopass Jamboree, when lo and behold, I discovered that the Sharks had come back to win. Brian is a better sport about it than I, because I'd probably have to create an extended entry to protect innocent eyes from my cursing and ranting.

In related news, Victor beat me in the first week matchup of our blogger fantasy hockey league. I'm completely lost as to how this league works and what the rules are, it's unlike anything I've ever seen before. Not an excuse, just sayin'. Congrats Victor, let's hope Bondra can keep it up, eh?

Finally, yesterday I had the pleasure of spending the day walking through several Smithsonian art museums with Dawn. We started at the Hirschhorn, and afterwards (like Victor mentioned) walked down the street in the pouring rain to see the Freer and Sackler galleries. Memorable.

I want to go again in better weather, to experience Directions - Janet Cardiff.

We now return you to your regular Rocket Jones program of cheesecake pinups and zombies.

Posted by Ted at 08:05 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

October 04, 2005

Finally getting around to it

From John at TexasBestGrok (who's blog turned 2 the other day - yay!):

Context: Insects are specialists (drone, workers, queens, etc), where humans are generalists.

The original Heinlein:

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

Items I've done are in bold, notes and explanations follow.

* Change a diaper - cloth for the first child, disposable for the third, a mix for the middle kid.
* Plan an invasion - in real life a security exercise designed to steal nuclear weapons, on a gameboard for entire continents and galaxies.
* Butcher a hog - deer, pheasant and fish.
* Conn a ship - my Uncle's sailboat, which he sometimes sailed to Hawaii.
* Design a building - the largest that ever made it past the paper stage was a shed.
* Write a sonnet - I've written some pretty bad poetry, but no sonnets of any quality
* Balance accounts - enough to get by.
* Build a wall - wood, brick, and maybe stone next summer.
* Set a bone - a friend's broken finger, although I never want to have to do it again.
* Comfort the dying - I've been fortunate in my life.
* Take orders - thirteen years in the Air Force.
* Give orders - ditto.
* Cooperate
* Act alone
* Solve equations - it's not math... it's not math...
* Analyze a new problem - welcome to computer programming
* Pitch manure - and hay and ground oats (?), family with dairy farms
* Program a computer - my job.
* Cook a tasty meal - check.
* Fight efficiently - fight? yeah. won? yeah. lost? oh yeah.
* Die gallantly - more than once in a simulated fashion while doing security exercises for the Strategic Air Command.

Hey, that's more than I expected!

Posted by Ted at 05:21 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

eBooks

All kinds of eBook related news, information and links at TeleRead.

Posted by Ted at 05:48 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 03, 2005

It ain't the Supreme Court, but it's still an honor

I've been promoted to "crony" over at the Ministry of Minor Perfidy!

If you don't regularly read these guys, then you're not getting your minimum requirement of evil robot overlords, all things yeasty and the occasional neener-neener from a snotty Canadian.

Posted by Ted at 07:08 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

Meanwhile, in my fantasies... (updated)

Sports, that is.

Our baseball season is over. I wound up a respectable 5th out of 10 teams, and was fighting for 4th throughout the last month or so. (update: I did finish in 4th place in the final standings) Many thanks to annika for being the commish for this league, I had a blast. Congrats to Hank's Homeys for running away with the pennant.

Meanwhile, over at the stadium, I inexplicably won again thanks to some truly uninspired play by my opponents roster. By all rights, he should've stomped me. I'm not loving this league, because the scoring emphasis seems to be on touchdowns, which make your wide recievers the primary weapons. Running backs and quarterbacks are a very small part of the equation that I'm seeing so far. It's still fun, but I preferred last year's setup, where total yardage and number of receptions and other stats factored in.

You still have the chance to sign up for the fantasy hockey league. You don't have to obsess, peoples, it's for fun!

Posted by Ted at 05:30 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

October 02, 2005

Happy Birthday, Dad

It was a good day yesterday.

Called my Dad, he's 73 now. He sold his house and moved in with his girlfriend. Bought a brand new fully loaded minivan too, he does that every few years.

On the home front, Liz reupholstered a footstool while I installed a new computerized thermostat for the house. We also did some patching and painting in the soon-to-be sewing room.

Yep, a boring and pointless post. Welcome to Rocket Jones.

Posted by Ted at 07:57 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

Modern Podcasting Magazine

Look who's on the cover of the inaugural issue!

Blue and Rocket Jones get a mention too.

What's that? You ask, "what's 'podcasting'?" Oh, ye stone-tool-using throwback, you might call podcasting "audio blogging". Download shows (follow the links above and there are more links here) to your mp3 player and join the 21st century.

Posted by Ted at 07:30 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

October 01, 2005

Air Force Blue - the other side

I've written about some of my adventures while in the Air Force, many while serving as a Security Policeman. While I tend to share the lighter moments, it's never far from your mind that things can become serious and deadly in a split second. That's the nature of the job.

Airman 1st Class Elizabeth Jacobson, 21, was providing convoy security Sept. 28 near Camp Bucca, Iraq, when the vehicle she was riding in was hit by an improvised explosive device. She is the first female Airman killed in the line of duty in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom.

Please, follow this link and leave words of encouragement for those she left behind in the comments section.

Posted by Ted at 06:33 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

September 29, 2005

Laugh out loud funny

Stolen entire from The Ministry of Minor Perfidy:

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: “Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed.”
“OH NO!” the President exclaims. “That’s terrible!”
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.
Finally, the President looks up and asks, “How many is a brazillion?”

Thanks Johno, I needed that!

Posted by Ted at 04:49 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Did someone say juvenile? I am so there!

I can't even claim that it started innocently:

Ted,

How about playing a round of "How Many Beers?" for the blog?

You know the drill, how many beers to bang the broads on the list. If you decline, we'll ridicule you. I'm just kidding, I totally understand if you want to bow out. Our type of humor is somewhat...juvenile.

Here's the list:

So yeah, I played. Click here if you want to see the list of ladies I was presented with and my answers. Jennifer played, and sparked tons of comments on her round o' potentials. Why not make me feel as loved?

Posted by Ted at 12:07 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

Kalimba

I was jamming some Earth, Wind & Fire the other day when the Kalimba Song came on. I've always loved the sound of the kalimba, and a quick google search turned up these instructions on building your own two-octive kalimba (rather inexpensively). I just might have to give this a go.

Posted by Ted at 06:00 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 28, 2005

I'd rather get sweaty with Richard Simmons

You must check out these actual Weight Watchers Recipe Cards from 1974. The accompanying commentary is priceless:

Once upon a time the world was young and the words "mackerel" and "pudding" existed far, far away from one another.

One day, that all changed. And then, whoever was responsible somehow thought the word "fluffy" would help.

Oh, and eggs, too.

Major kudos to Sheila for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 05:33 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

September 27, 2005

There's painful, and then there's painful

I am, of course, referring to baseball's pennant race in the National League West. You know, the division where the San Diego Padres stink on ice, which is only marginally better than the rest of the division, which just stinks. In fact, if this season's putrid San Francisco Giants squad sweeps their four game series with the Padres, they'll win the division.

Grant, of The McCovey Chronicles, describes it thusly:

In the `80s movie version of the 2005 NL West, the climax comes with a muscle-bound villain -- Dolph Lundgren? -- laying his opponent to waste, and leaving him for dead. Slowly, the Terminator-like beast rises from the ashes, and it starts lumbering after Dolph, who grits his teeth and mutters, "Why won't you just die?"

No, no, let's just switch this around. Instead of Dolph Lundgren and Arnold Schwarzenegger...let's see Ben Stein and Steve Buscemi. In fact, let's forget the penultimate fighting scene, and just make the last 15 minutes of the movie a single camera shot of two 90-year old people making love. One of them is going to finish first, but no one really wins.

It's sad. It's ugly. It's my beloved Giants. I'm not sure I'd want this to happen. I'm not like a Cubs fan, who perpetually believes that the ballclub will magically transform itself into a powerhouse just by being the least pathetic team in the division race. The winning team will still be tragically bad, and they'll get to display that wretchedness for a few games longer, instead of going home, licking wounds, and beating their heads against the wall in an attempt at self-inflicted amnesia.

Then again, you never know. Go Giants!

Posted by Ted at 12:24 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

I knew I was in trouble...

In this week's fantasy football matchup, I was behind in points with one game left to go, the Monday night matchup between the Chiefs and Broncos. I have tight end Tony Gonzales on my team, one of the best in the game. All I needed was a typical Tony-sized game, and I could squeak my way to victory.

Yeah right. I'm an Oakland Raiders fan, and there isn't any way that a Chiefs player is going to do me any favors. In fact, my phone rang at halftime:

Me: Hello?

Voice: Hi Ted. This is Tony Gonzales.

Me: What the hell are you doing out there? You're killing me, man.

Voice: I dropped those passes on purpose dude. You know, Chiefs rule, Raiders drool. *click*

Chiefs and Broncos... sheesh. I used to say that during games like that I'd be rooting for a sniper in the stands, but thanks to that idiot Malvo it ain't funny any more.

So anyways, all hail Brendoman, who whooped me this week. Good game, guy.

Posted by Ted at 04:28 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

September 26, 2005

Another Chance to Help

Victor is riding in the Lance Armstrong Tour of Hope for cancer research.

We've had multiple opportunities to contribute to worthy causes lately, but if you'd like to make a donation to help him meet his goal, here's his page.

Posted by Ted at 05:22 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

September 25, 2005

Lazy Sunday?

Not around here, but I've already wasted too much time on this virtual Lite-Brite. I always wanted one as a kid, but never managed to talk my parents into it. When we moved into this house, I finally understood why. We found those little plastic pegs in the oddest places for years afterwards.

Thanks to Camp HappyBadFun for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 09:15 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Helping Hand

Blame Bou, or maybe I'm just a helpful kind of guy, but vw bug of One Happy Dog Speaks will soon, with your participation, enjoy increased hits on her site from people who Google "plugging butts".

Go ahead, click and link, it's not dirty. Honest. Do it because everyone should be #1 for something on Google.

Posted by Ted at 08:59 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

September 24, 2005

City folks have to find an upstairs window

I've dreamed of doing this. I'm sure we all have.

Thanks to Dustbury for making my day.

Posted by Ted at 08:51 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

September 19, 2005

New New Math

Specifically, a new way to do Trig.

Mathematics students have cause to celebrate. A University of New South Wales academic, Dr Norman Wildberger, has rewritten the arcane rules of trigonometry and eliminated sines, cosines and tangents from the trigonometric toolkit.

His book explaining the method is called Divine Proportions: Rational Trigonometry to Universal Geometry (not available at Amazon, yet).

Dr Wildberger has replaced traditional ideas of angles and distance with new concepts called "spread" and "quadrance".

These new concepts mean that trigonometric problems can be done with algebra," says Wildberger, an associate professor of mathematics at UNSW.

"Rational trigonometry replaces sines, cosines, tangents and a host of other trigonometric functions with elementary arithmetic."

This could revolutionize mathematics who knows where it could lead? Sometimes all that's needed is to look at something from a different vantage point to make exciting things happen.

Thanks to Transterrestrial Musings for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 08:22 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

Only because I have to

According to the rules of our Blogger Bowl fantasy football league, we're supposed to "talk smack". Being the quiet and nonconfrontational sort, I'm hesitant to do so, but since I beat one of last season's powerhouses this week, and since I outscored him despite the fact that my QB earned negative points for me, and since my final player doesn't even get counted until tonight's games, I'll do my best.

Dear Nick, You are my bitch. On toast.

Ted

My, that was fun!

Posted by Ted at 11:37 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Like a caption contest on steroids

Derek of Son of Cheese has a new bit o' whimsy for all to play, called OMGWTFLOLLOL. He's posted a blank comic, and you supply the words!

My idea was to leave the balloons blank, because the characters are all mimes. I'm sure you can do better.

Posted by Ted at 05:38 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 18, 2005

Big Lizards

Dafydd ab Hugh (how the heck is that pronounced?) has started his own blog, Big Lizards.

I first saw him guest posting at Captain's Quarters, and recognized the name from several Star Trek novels and other SciFi works he's written. Good read whether you agree with him or not, because he's always interesting and thought provoking.

Posted by Ted at 01:47 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Ear Candy

Podcasts I've recently listened to:

Ken & Squip Show - new!
Fred Garvin Male Prostitute and the Reverend Demize - funny stuff
Soccergirl Incorporated - something on her site freezes my PC, but I'm usually able to download at least one episode before crashing
Bleacher Guy Radio - sports, co-hosted by Off-Wing Opinion's Eric McErlain
Shire Network News - from the boys at Silent Running

Notice who's missing?

Blue's Simian Syndicate hasn't put anything new up for a while, but he's directly involved with the Katrina effort at work, so you can't fault him for having his priorities straight

Posted by Ted at 07:35 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

September 17, 2005

Me love you long time, slave

Thanks to Chris Hall for the pointer, (Buckethead, this is right up your alley).

NRA probes Japanese sex android. I like how they try to make this evil machine sound cute and innocent by calling her it a "cyberminx".

This is scary as hell. I'm heading to the drugstore right now, because when the real invasion begins, and folks realize just how deadly sex with a robot will be, there will be a run on KY, rubbers, and cheap wine. I'm stocking up now.

Adjust your survival kit inventories accordingly.

Posted by Ted at 10:15 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

September 16, 2005

Culinary Magic

Carnival of the Recipes, hosted this week by Trub, a beer brewer. Get some terrific ideas for this weekend.

Posted by Ted at 11:59 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

No pirates, but water is involved

The fixture in our bath/shower was ancient, and badly needed replacing. In addition, we'd developed a leak somewhere in the vicinity, so I went looking for a plumber.

The first place I called for an estimate informed me that they didn't do in-person estimates any more because of gas prices. I described the work to be done in detail, and their estimate consisted of telling me that they'd do the work for $150.00 an hour. Buh-bye.

Next on the list are the folks who installed our new air conditioner a couple of years ago. Good work and I trust them. They offered to have the guy come out, give a "job estimate" (instead of by the hour), for $75.00 and then if I was ok with the price he'd do the work right then, and the $75.00 would go towards the bill. I finally did decide on them, and yesterday was the day.

I can do basic, mechanical plumbing, but this job had the potential to become really ugly in a hurry, so I wanted a pro. He came in, heard my description, looked at things and gave a reasonable price. Not as good as I'd hoped, better than I was expecting, and within 10% of what I'd told Liz I thought it would cost.

While he was putting in the fixture, I was downstairs removing the ceiling in our living room coat closet, because it's right under the bath and the water had been dripping down. He looked around from underneath and did his plumbing magic and two hours later it was done.

Kinda. Now I have to retile the tub, or put in a shower enclosure, and if I'm going to do that then I might as well replace the bathtub, which means I should swap out the toilet so it matches, and the wall sink could be replaced with the pedistal kind, and since I'm going to all that trouble a new medicine cabinet would be nice, which means new electrical outlets and lighting fixtures, and I should go ahead and replace the ancient vent fan with a quiet new one...

Oh yeah, I've just started emptying my wallet on this one.

Posted by Ted at 05:12 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

September 15, 2005

Still wiping tears from my eyes

Truth or Dare in Middle Earth

Rodger owes me a keyboard.

Posted by Ted at 08:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

"Bodacious Muchachas"

An article with the background story about an exhibit called "Mexotica" consisting of incredibly rare color pinup photos taken in Mexico in the 1950's.

Link provided by the same group that located the Spider Pool (my original posts here and here).

These links not safe for work.

Posted by Ted at 06:38 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 14, 2005

Darn

Michael King of Rambling's Journal is signing off.

Best of luck guy, I'm gonna miss my daily visit.

Posted by Ted at 08:56 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

September 17th is US Constitution Day

This nifty site from the US Department of State contains translations of the US Constitution into Arabic, French, German, Italian, Japanese, Korean, Portuguese, Russian, Spanish and simplified Chinese.

Educate a foreigner, it makes a nice change of pace from bombing, exploiting, killing, invading, occupying or oppressing them.

Seriously though, there are also links to historical discussions and versions of the document, including images of George Washington's printed copy with notes he made in the margins, and their page of reference links is absolutely amazing.

Posted by Ted at 12:11 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 13, 2005

A nitwit is a nitwit is a nitwit

The 20 Most Obnoxious Quotes About Hurricane Katrina.

Thanks to QandO for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 09:10 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Yay!

Comment number 5,400 was left by Tuning Spork. No great prize to hand out this time, amigo, just my thanks to you and everyone else who's helped make Rocket Jones a fun little corner of the net.

Posted by Ted at 08:14 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

And you thought gas prices were a ripoff

My friend Rich (owner of Verticle Force Rocketry), starts a nice little rant about that most expensive of fluids that we all use every day. No, not gas. Not coffee and not even blood. Something seemingly much more valuable...

...one name brand ink cartridge I looked at contained 19ml of ink for $35.

1ml = ~0.033814 U.S. ounces. So for $35 you're getting ~0.642 ounces of ink. That's $1.84 per milliliter or about $54.48 per ounce. Or consider the high price of gas today versus $6,973.12 9/10 per gallon for printer ink.

Rich also gives the word on "Box-wrap patent infringement", which is a new one to me. I'm pretty much a free market capitalist, but this kind of crap really gives ammunition to the "corporations are evil" nuts.

Posted by Ted at 05:14 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

September 12, 2005

Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

A few odds and ends that I wanted to mention.

I fully expect to be undefeated after the first week of our Blogger Bowl Fantasy Football League, unless Philly kicker Akers manages fourteen field goals tonight. My team doesn't look very strong, but it was enough to whup the Houston Hot Pants all over the field.

In related news, I didn't activate the Rocket Jones Hot Jets Cheerleaders this season, but I did buy some rocket motors on Sunday for the Hot Jets rocket.

I'm very late with this announcement, but the latest edition of the Carnival of the Recipes is up, hosted by Munuviana's own Jordana. Check it out, you won't be sorry.

Three changes to the blogroll: Dawn has moved back to Caterwauling, adjust your links accordingly (you probably already have, I'm just sluggy-slow and am finally getting around to it). Secondly, Blue now has a blog and you can find him at Partial to Grey. He even spells "grey" right. Thirdly, I've added Samantha Burns to the sidebar. She's Canadian and she's interesting. Drop in and tell her that Rocket Jones sent you.

Heh. Akers just missed a field goal.

Posted by Ted at 09:18 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

September 09, 2005

I think he forgot to count the seven in the secret cabal

Over at the Ministry of Minor Perfidy, GeekLethal crunches some numbers and sums it all up like this:

The subjegation of the entire Muslim world by Israel would, in a demographic sense, be like Massachusetts enslaving all of China.

There's not enough tinfoil in the world.

Posted by Ted at 11:59 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

September 05, 2005

Geek is chic?

Why bother with a personals ad, when you could just be mentioned in the NY Daily News? That's what happened to blogger CGHill of Dustbury. From the article:

...more women are discovering the allure of brainy men who admit they're more experienced at computer games than the game of love.

I'd like to let the ladies know that in school, I was the kid that the geeks beat up for lunch money so they could go to Radio Shack. I expect that I shall now be inundated in the lovelies, oh yeah.

Posted by Ted at 03:43 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

Waterlogged

Now that the blamegasm over Katrina seems to be over, it's time to move on, blog-wise. To be sure, there will still be finger pointing and stupid quotes (or more correctly, quotes from stupid people), but the relief effort is in high gear now. I'd like to mention a last few items and then I'm probably done with it.

Susie's family is safe! Yay!!!

Bitterman lived on the gulf coast for a while, and found an arial photo of what's left of his old neighborhood. Here's something I hadn't heard before:

Initially when the storm surge came in, he had thought all was well, but the wind packed it up so tightly, it began entering the storm sewer pipe outlets at beach level and flowing uphill to his neighborhood some 35 or so feet above the beach.

Yikes! Fortunately, everyone is safe.

Victor has a list of undeliverable postal zip codes. Check with your local post office, because the list will be shrinking as the relief continues.

Finally, everyone should be shocked at how quickly law and order broke down in New Orleans (I haven't heard about problems anywhere else... but the media has been hyper-focused on NO, so who knows), and I'm reminded that the primary and ultimate responsibility for you and your family's safety is you. Please go back and read the "For Ourselves, By Ourselves" series over at Random Nuclear Strikes. It's not a one-size-fits-all, but he discusses points that you might never think of. He also links to an excellent article titled "Disaster Guns". Personally, I've brought up the subject of household arms again, and specifically told the girls that they will be learning to use a handgun as a minimum. Even Mookie, who was the most opposed when I last brought it up, realizes now that there's some wisdom in that.

Posted by Ted at 08:58 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

September 03, 2005

Do Re Me Fa So Cool

So simple, even Banjo Boy could figure it out.

Printable blank sheet music. All kinds of options, all for free.

Kudos to Heather at Angelweave for pointing this one out.

Posted by Ted at 09:04 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

United We Stand (except for you, you don't think like me)

From Hold the Mayo (who turned two this week, yay!), who first saw the link to this at Zoe Brain's place:

So why was I thinking of starting a movement against giving aid to the stricken areas?

Because these are red states. They voted for Bush. These ninnies obviously wanted these policies, and they deserve to live with the consequences of their votes.

A large part of me still believes that many of these W-worshipping numbskulls deserve to suffer and to die. They brought it on themselves. Let them look to Jayzuss for aid: It's time they stopped leeching off the more productive blue staters.

(Californians stupidly give much more to the federal government than we receive from it; the money flows in a very different direction in the red states.)

So, at least, I started to write. But then (to paraphrase the old song) I thought I'd better think it out again.

Many of the victims, the ones who have suffered the most, are poor. The hardest hit were the blue state folk living among the red state maniacs. New Orleans, we should note, went heavily for Kerry.

And that's why we must help. Although it was very tempting to say otherwise.

I want to make this clear. Zoe Brain found this and linked to it, she didn't write it herself. If you want the link to where it was spotted, click on through up above.

Posted by Ted at 08:33 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

September 02, 2005

Yet momma wanted me to be a Priest

Over at Owlish Mutterings, he linked to this "Job Predictor".

According to this, Rocket Jones' ideal job is trained assassin. Cool.

And when I type in my real name (Ted Phipps), it says I should become a pirate.

You should start being nicer to me.

Let's see... full name (Robert T Phipps)... Yeehaw! My ideal job is a lottery winner - no need to work !

I like this game.

Posted by Ted at 01:47 PM | Comments (14) | TrackBack

Hot Wax

Our local classical music station has a nice little piece every morning that runs down the minutia of the day such as sunrise, sunset, moon phase, as well as a little bit about the day in history.

This morning the host mentioned a wax cylinder recording made in 1895 of the "Poets and Peasants Overture", done by Baldwin's Cadet Band of Boston. Follow this link to see today's show notes, and if you scroll down you can click the victrola to hear an audio of the original recording.

Posted by Ted at 06:11 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

September 01, 2005

Helping out

It's Hurricane Relief Day around the blogosphere, and MuNu's very own Michele is pitching in. Go check out the items she's got up for auction and make a bid. All the proceeds go towards the Katrina victims.

Update: Phin is auctioning off a site redesign! Be sure to check out the portfolio, he's done some of the best looking blogs I know.

Posted by Ted at 06:11 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

August 31, 2005

I needed something to lift my spirits

And nothing makes me smile more than making fun of others. Or potty humor. Or both all in one great place!

Someone in England compiled a list of the 100 most rude place names (wink, wink. nudge, nudge).

This might explain why British soccer fans are so testy.

Thanks to CGHill of Dustbury for pointing this one out.

Posted by Ted at 12:10 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Dreamer. Nothing but a dreamer.

Need a list of today's technologies that were predicted in Science Fiction?

Thanks to Owlish for the pointer.

(cue Supertramp...)

Posted by Ted at 06:07 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Hurricane Help

California Yankee has collect a list of links where you can go to help with recovery efforts.

Posted by Ted at 06:05 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 29, 2005

A List of Lists

Fun's over.

Posted by Ted at 04:02 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 27, 2005

Two

Here are a couple of blogs who've recently linked to Rocket Jones. I've visited them a time or two, and you might want to too. Who knows, they might become a favorite of yours.

Can You Hear Me Now (formerly Retail Hell)

RetroBabe (gotta love a name like that)

Posted by Ted at 10:11 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

August 25, 2005

Pole Dancing Followup

After my "stripper music" post, Michele points to a wonderful collection of videos that teach various forms of sensual dance. One, The Art of Exotic Dancing Core Moves, is described thusly:

Exotic dancing is much more than "dancing sexy", it is learning how to reach deep within yourself, find your own inner beauty and grace, and combine it into a sensual movement. Through Exotic Dancing, you will learn how to fully empower yourself, connect with others, boost your self-confidence and self-esteem, become a role model, attract people to you, overcome your fears of self expression, let down your guard, and discover new ways to spice up your relationships.

That's what the women get out of it. Us guys just like tits and hope we'll get laid.

Posted by Ted at 04:24 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

August 24, 2005

All Your Death Star Are Belong To Us

What a hoot! Screen captures of Revenge of the Sith, subtitled in English from the original Chinese translation.

Via Right Hand of God, via Susie.

Posted by Ted at 07:00 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

It's a quadruple play!!!

Of complete ass-hattery, that is. We have four, count 'em, four, fools from the world of sports who should just STFU. Of course, they have the right to an opinion, but the only difference between them and the loudmouth at the end of the bar is that nobody is sticking a microphone in the lush's face.

Leading off is columnist Tim Dahlberg, who has spent this entire season ripping on Barry Bonds for not playing. Of course, three knee surgeries and rehab are no excuse to this hack, he's got his schtick (Bash Bonds) and he's beating the dead horse as hard and as often as he can. If you follow the link, make sure you catch all of his oh-so-subtle steroid references. This fool hates baseball, pure and simple. It would be nice if he quit writing about it.

Up second, Milton Bradley of the Los Angeles Dodgers proves that the anger management counselling he received last year worked well. He never once raised his voice as he ripped into teammate Jeff Kent, calling him a racist. Personally, I think that his voice was muffled since his head was up his ass. Jeff Kent is not an easy guy to get along with, but to play the race card is just low and stupid.

Kent had the perfect response, "Ask Dusty Baker if I'm racist, Ask Dave Winfield and Joe Carter."

Bradley's problem is that he was promised by management that he would be the leader of the team, and he believes that all you need to do to be a leader is to be told that it's the way it will be. When Kent jumped him about not hustling during one baserunning play, Bradley fires back and displays his mad leadership skills. I'd call him a Dodger jackass, but that would be redundant.

And I didn't make a single board game joke.

And then there's Frank Robinson. I have a lot of respect for the man, which is why I choose to believe that reporters caught him at a bad time, like maybe he'd just finished snorting cocaine from a DC hooker's bellybutton.

I'd say "batting cleanup", but I'd rather use the bat on the skull of the director of the Tour de France. After yet another smear attack on Armstrong by the French newspaper L'Equipe (who do so regularly), Jean-Marie Leblanc has come out firmly on the side of science scientology. The newspaper printed copies of paperwork they claim proves that six year old urine samples belonged to the American cyclist.

Six year old urine sample? I guess the only question I have about the "proven scientific facts" is, tastes great or less filling?

He owes explanations to us and to everyone who follows the tour.

No, he owes you nothing. Armstrong has been repeatedly tested throughout his career and has never had anything but clean results. Now that he's retired and out of the country, French courage roars forth for one last cheap shot. It's telling that the other leading professional cyclists are all coming out in support of Lance Armstrong.

And until another American LeMond or Armstrong comes along to dominate, the Tour de France will drop back to the level of popularity enjoyed by Iron Man triathalons and Arena Football.

I suppose I should wrap this up somehow... ok, I've got it.

pftftftftftft!

Posted by Ted at 06:44 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Modern Maturity

Gwen Stefani needs to get over herself.

Posted by Ted at 05:04 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

August 23, 2005

Goodbye to Music Pioneer Robert Moog

He revolutionized electronic music. Rob over at Left & Right has more.

Posted by Ted at 08:05 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Letter to Terrell Owens

Every day that nitwit stays with the Eagles, I thank the stars that he's not with the Ravens. Don't miss this hilarious letter from his biggest fan. Out of the mouths of babes, as they say.

Thanks to Off Wing Opinion for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 06:44 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Zing!

Spoons fires off a good one!

Posted by Ted at 06:04 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Showing up in unexpected places

Paul, of the defunct Sanity's-Edge, is back and blogging over at Id's Cage.

Yay!

Posted by Ted at 04:32 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 22, 2005

Because when you think "Stripper Music", you think Rocket Jones

I'm proud of this place.

I enjoy finding interesting and funny things to share with y'all, and I really appreciate the fact that you keep coming back. Not only that, but many of you still talk to me. That kinda amazes me sometimes.

"This is my family. I found it, all on my own. It's little, and broken, but still good.
Yeah, still good."
-- Stitch

Besides the regulars, I get hits from people searching the web for things. Besides the usual odd and downright perverse stuff (we all get 'em), I get visitors quite often looking for things like "build a rubber band gun" and "model rocket plans". I still get comments almost every week on the Box Hockey posts, Rob's Favorite Guitarists of All Time list, and Nog Watch.

Like I said, I'm proud of all of this. But when I'm talking to someone about Rocket Jones and want to toss out one datum with maximum wow power, well, there's really only one choice.

If you google "stripper music", Rocket Jones comes up #1 on the list.

"I am a professional pole dancer and private dance teacher in Japan. Thanks for your ideas."
-- Sandy

Yeah, I brag about that often. I know you've heard it before, but dammit, it means something to me! Lots of blogs boast about how if you google "goat oreo rubber pants" then they come up at the top of the search results.

Bee Effen Dee.

"Stripper music" isn't some random pairing of words with a tenuous connection to my place, this is where actual DJ's and ladies of the dance come to check out the latest tunes and to leave their own suggestions. It's also become a popular target for women looking for pole dancing lessons. And up until now, all I could do was offer generic advice about where to look in their local areas, and to wish them luck.

Until now.

This first link, A Pole Lot of Fun, looks to be a 'party' style setup, similar to the way Tupperware used to work.

We bring the pole, you bring the friends and together we create a magical night of fun, laughter, and support.

Follow that link and see if there's someone local to you. Ladies, do it for yourself if not for your guy. Guys, grow some romantic initiative and set it up for her (and don't forget a dozen roses so she doesn't think you got her hooker lessons, you insensitive bastards).

This link, PoleStars, is based in the UK and Australia. It looks like this is more of the traditional (if I may use that word) class instruction on the art of pole dancing and strip tease.

Both sites offer equipment and clothing too. And remember ladies, it's exercise!

Posted by Ted at 08:00 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

More Geographical Coolness via the Internet

Thanks to the Maximum Leader for pointing this one out!

The world is crisscrossed by our navigational coordinates, latitude and longitude.

A confluence is defined as a flowing together; a meeting place (often of rivers). In our case a degree confluence is the exact spot where an integer degree of latitude and an integer degree of longitude meet.

Every person on earth lives within 50 miles of a degree confluence, and the world is dotted by 64,442 of these. Someone had the brilliant idea to have people visit each one and take a photograph, to be collected into one place and shared. Proof of visit is supplied by snapping a screen shot of a handheld GPS unit on the spot (or within a reasonable distance in some cases).

Of course, many are in the middle of the ocean, or located on the ice packs up where Santa lives (and his Summer home down South). So if someone visits one of those, it's great, but they're concentrating on the land-based confluences.

Maybe one is near you?

Posted by Ted at 11:17 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

August 19, 2005

Welcome Home

Better than a year and a half ago, Ross left for Iraq. He's home again, and his blog still sucks. Drop by anyways to welcome him back and thank him for his service.

Posted by Ted at 11:43 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

August 18, 2005

Better than a fried banana sandwich

This is too cool. An Elvis mural done with Post-it Notes. Follow the links and find instructions on how to do your own digital sticky art.

Posted by Ted at 11:32 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Hockey Hockey Hockey

Little tidbits I found interesting...

Goalie Curtis Joseph (aka Cujo) signed with the Phoenix Coyotes, which incidentally are now being coached by Wayne Gretzky. The 'Yotes haven't made a big splash in the free-agent feeding frenzy, but they've signed several quality players. Watch for them, they may surprise a few people.

I didn't realize that with all the the new rules changes, it could mean this (courtesy SharksPage):

Larger Neutral Zone, more difficult to clear the puck & blue line is now inside the doors - therefore if a player enters the ice and moves forward he'll be offsides

There's some question about this one. We'll have to wait and see it in action.

I heard on the radio this morning that the Capitals have made an offer to Peter Bondra. Now if he comes back, that would make me happy.

"Three teams not radically exploring the unrestricted free agent market because of the way they are built are Ottawa, Tampa Bay and ourselves. If that is the company I'm to be judged with, I’ll take that." -- GM Doug Wilson, San Jose Sharks

And finally, the Atlanta Thrashers website has been named best in the NHL by The Sports Business Journal and the University of Massachusetts Amherst (yeah, not a biggie to most of us, but who else does these rankings?). Sites were judged for design, content, commerce, and fan interactivity.

The top 5 were: 1. Atlanta, 2. Washington Capitals, 3. Chicago Blackhawks, 4. Columbus Blue Jackets, 5. San Jose Sharks.

Thanks again to SharksPage for the last two.

Don't forget to join us for the third annual Hockey Whoopass Jamboree!

Posted by Ted at 11:22 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Please Act Responsibly

Please don't drink and read Rocket Jones. Bad things can happen.

Trust me, I have it on good authority.

Posted by Ted at 06:02 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 17, 2005

YESSSSSS !!!!!!

This is the revised version:

"Someone once said that there was no doubt that we would colonize the Moon and Mars. The only question was what language would be spoken: the language of science or the language of business. My money is on business. The language of business is universal, ignores national borders, and is capable of speaking all human languages."

You can go to RocketForge to see the original quote, and his reasoning behind thinking that the original is not necessarily true.

Posted by Ted at 07:42 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

New Banner

Like it?

Amy made it for me. She rocks.

Posted by Ted at 11:45 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

I'm a pretty nice guy when I'm not being an ass

I couldn't decide on how to start this. First I wanted to just go "neener, neener" because it's me and not you, but I've already used up my "jerk" points for the month (don't ask). Then I thought about telling you about how excited I was (I did a nipple check, and it's true, I'm *very* excited), but that would give y'all mental images that would scar my children, frighten friends, and maybe (he said hopefully) bring a wistful smile or two to the ladies.

Secret message to Blue: I sound like a straaange creature, never before seen on B-B-B-Broadway!

I can hear you saying, "would somebody please smack him so he gets to the point."

To which I reply, "careful, we both might like it." (mental note: we haven't had a bondage post in a while)

So, if you've been following along, the aforementioned Blue is host and MC of The Simian Syndicate podcast. Their latest show is up, and not only do I get a shoutout, but Blue and Mad Monty (more than a sidekick, less than that crazy uncle you're ashamed of) run wild with it. After singing my new theme cue (think choirs of angels: "Rocket Jones"), Blue reads some words I wrote about the podcast (the Bobcat Goldwaith voice was classic and not far off the mark), they flatter me unashamedly and boost my ego until I swear I'd make Bob the dick drug guy look depressed.

Rereading that last paragraph, I see where I use the parens like my own virtual sidekick, interjecting asides here and there. So what would I call this new medium? Kind of a written podcast thing... wordcast? Oh wait. It's called a blog. Never mind.

So yes, they give me mad props and proclaim Rocket Jones hella good (that line inserted to annoy and embarrass my daughters). Blue also heaps praise upon Cindy and the Ken and Squip Show, which shows that he's a class act and shouldn't be judged solely on what he says about me. I'm sure it's the alcohol talking.

Ok, enough of that. Being serious for a moment, The Simian Syndicate is one of the funniest things I've heard in a long time. Their recent bit "Our Global World" had me in tears (and it's Mookie approved!) and they've introduced a MadLib segment to the show. Add in the great music, keep-you-on-your-toes banter ("drinking makes me Carl") and you've got one heckuva entertaining hour.

Aside to Blue: how about putting in a word for me with Soccergirl? I want a shoutout from her too.

I've come up with the perfect way to say thanks to The Simian Syndicate, and the beauty of it is that it's free for you and I but it could cost him money! What could be better?

Here's the deal: head on over to his place and download a show or two or all. Give 'em a listen (please use headphones at work or around the genteel). Or don't listen. Whatever. See, they talked about how they wish that they had bandwidth issues, so I figure that the least I can do is help them realize their dream.

Wordsmith. I'm a fucking wordsmith!

Posted by Ted at 05:02 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

August 16, 2005

Welcome to the blogroll, Monty

When I get to it in the next day or two...

Drink Rum. Sample:

Bigger = More Better

My life has been clouded by mystery. I've lived my entire legal drinking life in Virginia, where liquor sales are run by the "man". All liquor has to be purchased through state run stores. Not that big of a deal I always thought... until now.

Apparently, in South Carolina, liquor can be sold by anyone. Including those big crazy bulk warehouse type stores. I have found that Sam's Clubs down their are stockpiling liquor in amazingly large quantities.

Want to pick up 1000 rolls of two ply toilet paper? Hell no, but I would love to get a 5 gallon drum of Bacardi Silver!

Buying in bulk always seemed so silly to me until now.

It's like the light of enlightenment (shut up) has been shined in my left eye very brightly while my right eye is closed tightly fearing the wonderment of it all.

Liquor in bulk. I can die happy.

Funny, funny stuff.

Posted by Ted at 08:43 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

August 15, 2005

A Top 10 List Even Marilyn Manson's Mother Could Love

Visit A Perfectly Cromulent Blog for the pointer to the "10 Most Ridiculous Black Metal Pics of All Time" and "Son of 10 Most Ridiculous Black Metal Pics of All Time". Great fun!

Posted by Ted at 07:11 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 14, 2005

Paooki*

Meryl Yourish had an encounter with a big-assed spider who built it's web in her front doorway.

I had a similar situation recently, and managed to get photos too.

(in the extended entry)

*Paook is the Russian word for spider.

I much prefer my universe.

2637.jpg

Posted by Ted at 09:34 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

New Trend? I hope so!

I've been sitting on this one awhile, awaiting further developments.

Some bloggers, like Instapundit, get free books to review. That's cool.

Thanks to Triticale, I learned that a short while ago Jeff (a prominent 2nd Ammendment blogger) was given the opportunity to preview a new firearm. That's very cool.

Lastly, a couple of weeks ago, I got an email referring to the Rocket Jones online biography on Brinke Stevens. It seems that Ms Stevens has written a new horror movie which is now out as an indie effort, and yours truly was offered a review copy. How cool is that?

The internet is a twisted place full of unexpected surprises. If you're using it right.

Posted by Ted at 07:47 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

August 13, 2005

Hockey post, sort of

At least Pete mentions hockey in this funny story.

Posted by Ted at 11:40 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 12, 2005

I don't see one of these in my future

But I know quite a few people who can't wait for this keyboard designed for gamers.

Posted by Ted at 11:38 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Entry for next week's Carnival of Music

Apparently there's a series that's been airing lately called "Rockstar INXS" that I don't watch (and according to Spoons, I'll burn in hell for missing it - sounds like double jeopardy to me). Anyway, one of the contestants, a young black man named Ty, laments:

It was hard for me... because, like, being the only black person on the show, sometimes I do have to think about like what I represent. You can count on your hand how many people have been able to succeed in Rock and Roll that are, you know, African-American, and I think it's unfair... (sobbing, squealing) you know it just hurts me!

Spoons then proceeds to convincingly smack Ty upside his virtual head. This is a must read, folks.

Posted by Ted at 06:09 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 11, 2005

Dang, I wanted to be Tim

Take the quiz: "Which Holy Grail Character Are You?"

The Bridge Keeper
'Answer me these questions three, n'er the other side ye see.'

Seen all over, most recently at TexasBestGrok.

Posted by Ted at 11:44 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Noted in passing

The last three trackbacks to Rocket Jones are:

Hi. My name is Shank, and I'm a pussy.

Pestilence.

YUM!

Posted by Ted at 06:07 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Honored

Yesterday Eric was nearing the landmark of the 1000th comment left at his place. My timing was perfect and I managed to leave that magic comment, and of course it was pithy and philosophical without being too emotionally charged.

It was also about zombies.

So head on over, check out the awesome prize I've been awarded, and leave a comment to kick-start the climb towards #2000.

Thanks, Eric.

Posted by Ted at 06:01 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 10, 2005

My collection is sadly lacking

Thanks to John at TexasBestGrok, here's a nifty link to posters and more from the many seasons of MST3K!

Alas, I actually own less than half of these titles.

Posted by Ted at 05:18 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

August 09, 2005

Podcasting is really taking off

My apologies for the title, I couldn't resist.

I saw this over at Wizbang:

STS-114 Mission Specialist Steve Robinson transmitted the first podcast from space.

They're safely back on the ground now (in case you hadn't heard), but follow that link to get to the audio feed and/or NASA transcript.

Now, how can I get a shoutout from orbit?

Posted by Ted at 11:30 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 05, 2005

Reflexively Wrong

Over at Wizbang, Jay Tea tells the story of a family with a sewage problem. The solution to all their problems, in his opinion, could be handled by an adjacent WalMart. If, of course, they weren't such awful, uncaring, insensitive neighbors.

I was heartened to read the comments, because the response was overwhelmingly in WalMart's favor for a variety of reasons. In a later post, Paul slaps Jay down convincingly with more facts about the story.

I recently read somewhere (can't remember where) that Bill Gates and Microsoft aren't evil, although some people wish they were. That parallels the question I always ask when someone starts bashing WalMart: At what point does a company grow so big that it becomes evil?

I once asked a friend who lives in a small town what she thought about the WalMart that opened in the next town over. She was enthusiastic about it, and when I inquired about how it was affecting the local small businesses, her reply surprised me:

Screw them. When they were the only game in town they jacked up their prices and took advantage of us all because they could. Now that WalMart is here they're whining about how unfair it is. Ask me about unfair, and I'll remind you about when your choice was to pay out the butt to them or drive an hour to the city to get a decent price.

I've heard the stories about how when WalMart opens, they send armed groups of WalMart police to every house, round people up and force them to shop there. Oh wait, no I haven't. If your local businesses are closing up, it's because YOU didn't support them by shopping there. Don't blame WalMart for your decision about where to spend your money.

In the 60's it was fashionable to blast IBM (remember "fold, spindle and mutilate"?). In the 90's it was Microsoft's turn, and now the groupthink have turned their collective hatred towards WalMart. Notice how each of those companies got to where they were by doing business better than their competitors. Each achieved dominance by being better capitalists. They treat their employees rather better than average. But dammit, they're evil! They're... big! They're evil!

It's fashionable. It's stupid. Either think before you make that reflexive leap, or find a cliff first like the rest of the lemmings.

Posted by Ted at 05:52 AM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

August 03, 2005

Adam Curry knows Rocket Jones!

Well, he does now*.

(warning: massive linking to occur because I'm pretty damned happy!)

Cindy (aka Squipper), of the blog Dusting My Brain, recently teamed with her partner Ken to create a new episode of their podcast (which I talked about here). This was actually part 2 of their show, and some amazing things happened. First, there was much talk of and about Cindy's breasts which, you may remember, I suggested. Talk about being responsive to the audience! Second, Adam Curry* called in and they did quite a long bit with him, which was fun to listen to because they're long-time friends and they obviously enjoyed each other's company. Third, in the middle of all of that, they gave Rocket Jones (and moi), a huge shout out and said many kind things about me. On the air. With Adam Curry* (who agreed that more breasts is a good thing). Me.

And, since many of you are fellow bloggers, well hell, we all know it's all about me. Right?

So I'm doing the happy dance, which is a unique and memorable sight to see. I'd podcast it for you, but that's an audio medium and all you'd hear is much crashing about and breaking of things. Watch the final twenty minutes of the Blues Brothers with your eyes closed and you'll get the same effect.

Better yet, listen to the last twenty minutes of the Blues Brothers while watching the elephant ballet in Disney's Fantasia and get the full effect.

In further podcasting events (I'm infatuated with them at the moment), I've listened to Silent Running's very own, which goes by the name "Shire News Network". Andrew Ian Dodge and Laurence Simon both do regular bits on it (I gather, I've only heard the one so far). So for rather more serious news with a down under slant, check it out.

Digital Podcast has tons and tons of links, information, ratings, reviews, etc on podcasting.

I tracked down SoccerGirl, Incorporated (remember, I said I would) and gave a listen to several of her shows. Interesting, and really hammered home the point that podcasting is the audio version of blogging. There are many styles and viewpoints and you'll find something for every taste if you look.

Finally (I saved it for last, but definitely not least!), over at the Simian Syndicate, Blue grabbed an original song by CruiseBox (released under the Creative Commons License) and built a wicked show around it. Strange, yes, but very very cool. If you're tired of the pablum spewed out by your radio, look into podcasts. There's a lot of great indie music out there that you don't get to hear.

(humming) ... mp3 killed the radio star...

*For those asking, "who the hell is Adam Curry?" Let me answer that, oh ye of little technical prowess (that's not a slam, I was one amongst you until very recently). He's known as "The Podfather" for his groundbreaking efforts in podcasting, and other things. Here, go read his Wikipedia entry and be impressed.

Posted by Ted at 11:31 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

August 02, 2005

Cool Threads

Thanks to SilverBlue for this link to the Rubber Ducky Condom Company (mildly not safe for work). When Mookie saw the t-shirts they sell, she mentioned how great they would be for gift-giving. I chose to ignore the hint, but the shirts are great!

As much fun as "No Ducky, No Lucky" is, my taste runs more towards the surreal. That's why this site just tickles me no end (major kudos to the Ministry of Minor Perfidy for pointing this one out!). Featuring religious arcana such as "The Flying Spaghetti Monster" (may his noodly appendage touch your heart), and my personal favorite:

piratesarecool.jpg

Someone is attuned to my sense of humor to a frightening degree.

Posted by Ted at 05:51 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

I'm stealing the whole thing

Velociman:

TOYING WITH MY TICKER

I saw in a flyer today where Walgreen's is selling a personal defibrillator for
$1,495. Please. My coinhabitants of this hovel can't even put their dirty socks in the hamper. And I'm going to let them put the paddles to my heart? I don't fucking think so.

I am a fan of 911. Call it. Let the professionals revive me. You? Stay the fuck away from me, with those paddles.

Velociworld is full of brilliance like this.

Posted by Ted at 05:06 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

August 01, 2005

Maybe the ninjas aren't such a good idea after all

Katana vs Machine Gun.

Is there really any doubt? But take a look anyways, because the super slow motion sequences of what happens are incredible. Too bad that in practical terms it means two smaller holes instead of one big one.

Thanks to the Flea for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 05:04 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Depends on which Care Bear you're talking about, doesn't it?

After questioning the results of a "type of humor quiz", Dawn wounds me thusly:

No offense doll, and I hate to detract from your image, but you're about as menacing as a Care Bear.

Well, sweetie, since this is Rocket Jones...

(in the extended entry, safe for work in all but the most conservative office environments)

Not all Care Bears were universally popular. For instance, Beer Fart Bear and Bong Bear were both left off of the television show, which in hindsight was probably a good thing. Then, after Blonde Bear's tragic encounter with an animal trap (she survived, but gnawed off three legs before freeing the correct limb), a schism developed between those who thought that the franchise should stay where it was vs those who favored "growing up" with their audience. We all know how that came out. Who's heard from Bimbo Bear lately?

One result was the emergence of the Bear's Who Don't Care faction, who never really caught on. Personally, I thought Swear Bear was a natural.

b04.jpg

Then there's my personal favorites, the Bondage Bears*. The photo came from here. This page is safe (if you're ok with Teddy Bears being tied up) but consider yourself warned about clicking anything but the thumbnails or "next page" once you get there.

So yeah, I guess I am about as menacing as a Care Bear, depending on which Care Bear you're talking about.

* I love google, you can find anything!

Posted by Ted at 04:17 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

July 31, 2005

Heartless cad that I am

I disappointed you when I couldn't provide a link to video of the nitrous-injected chainsaw.

Would a V8 powered chainsaw do?

Posted by Ted at 12:44 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

More Podcasting News

Mozongo now has a weekly podcast about the latest and greatest in mobile technology. Check out this week's cast, where they talk about the Motorola Q and the HTC-Wizard smartphones.

Posted by Ted at 06:02 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 30, 2005

"May You Live In Interesting Times"

Alan Zoe Brain has always been one of the more interesting bloggers out there, both at A.E.Brain and at The Command Post. The last several months have been downright surreal.

Zoe is also one helluva human being, having sent an encouraging email to me when I was fretting about my wife's surgery. He's had some medical issues of his own to deal with, er... She's had some medical issues of her own to deal with.

Regular readers know that I'm not one to rattle the tip cup, but in this case, Zoe's medical bills are going to be far in excess of what insurance might cover. Head on over, read about a drastic, involuntary and unexpected change in lifestyle (there are many posts over a period of time), and if you feel so inclined, drop some bucks in his jar. Thanks.

Posted by Ted at 05:13 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 29, 2005

Needs fulfilled

Matt posts zombie pictures so I don't have to.

Awesome site redesign too.

Posted by Ted at 07:12 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 28, 2005

I promised myself that I'd harden my heart

But I'm such a little bitch.

The NHL will return to the ice with the busiest night in the league's 88-year history.

Not wanting fans to have to wait one extra day to see their teams, the NHL has scheduled 15 games -- including all 30 clubs -- on opening night Oct. 5. Before the lockout that wiped out all of last season, the record for games in a day was 14, done nine times but not since 2003.

The schedule, released Wednesday, features more divisional games as teams will play their biggest rivals eight times instead of six.

Yeah, I'm freakin' excited again.

Off Wing Opinion has a link to the complete schedule, along with this:

NHL Roundup recaps every NHL game from the previous night, and runs Monday to Friday. Rink notes is a digest of features from around the league that usually runs at lunch time.

While you're surfin' the ice, check out The Hockey Pundits too.

Posted by Ted at 05:36 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

July 27, 2005

My dog is running around the house chasing flies

The title has not a damn thing to do with this post, but it's entertaining as all git-out to watch. Just thought I'd share.

I've been exploring the world of podcasting a bit more and returned (mostly) mentally unscathed.

Ken and Squip have part 1 of their bicoastal camping trip (sounds dirty, doesn't it?) available for your perusal. I think Rocket Jones got an oblique reference - feigned indignation was mentioned - over the supposed review I did on their show. That surprised me, because first, I didn't mean for it to come out like a review, I was just recommending it to my friends, and secondly, I should've made it more clear that "juvenile humor" is right up my alley. Obviously Ken doesn't read Rocket Jones, although they did seem to take my advice and talked about Squipper's breasts quite a bit.

Next up, I listened to the original apologizer, Blue of the Simian Syndicate. Right up front you're warned that the podcast isn't safe for families, children, work, etc. That's what headphones are for. Lemme tell you, the people at work were giving me some odd looks as I sat there working away and laughing my ass off at random intervals. In other words, business as usual.

I want to add to their warning, because the two shows I've listened to have been reeeeeely filthy. I don't believe for a second that these guys are gay, because if they were half as homo-nympho-maniacally inclined as they kid about, they'd never have time to actually speak into the microphone. In other words, they talk the hump, but they don't pump the rump.

Now I don't want to scare you away, because this podcast is awesome. Blue and buds are musicians, and the music on the two shows I've heard has been killer.

Don't miss M.C. Govenator and his newest "Go On and Touch It". I laughed, I cried, I voted Republican.

Now I need to track down Soccer Girl. Take my advice and give a listen, and then you'll understand.

Posted by Ted at 06:18 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Techno-Geek coolness - Old school

I've been remiss in not keeping up with the ol' blogroll because, well, things have been hoppin' 'round the ol' homestead (that sentence brought to you by the apostrophe and the letter "d"... what? D's gone? how 'bout "g"? Hell, get "a" in here... screw his contract, in here. Now. Freakin' uppity vowels...).

Oh, you're still here?

Right, um... oh yeah, my blogroll... and, uh... oh! Yeah. I've meant to link to a few people who've been kind enough to link to Rocket Jones and I've yet to reciprocate, so I'll be doing a couple more of these soon.

So, lessee... (geez, what a goatrope this post is turning out to be... quick glance at the title - what the hell does that mean?)

I remember now.

Stu Savory has a blog, and on his blog he talks about things. As one does. (thought I was Helen there for a minute, eh?) Anyways, he's posted a link and pictures and plenty of background information about a PC simulation of the American version of the Enigma coding machine used by Germany in WWII (screw it, that sentence is so brain-dead that I'm not even gonna try and fix it... just reread it until it makes sense*).

Then he follows it up with this post.

As much as I grooved on the cryptography, that link just above is just amazing. Go. Read. Trust me, he writes way better than I (although I do know enough not to say "me" at the end of that sentence, so Ha!).

Really, go check it out. Just don't mention that you saw it here, or he'll probably think less of you. Hell, I would after reading this mess. I'm sooo delinked.

*Ok, I reread it, and you know what? I meant to. That's right, it's on purpose. It's google-bait. So there**.

**I'm serious though, about reading "Some corner of a foreign field".

Posted by Ted at 11:42 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 26, 2005

Stupid childish crap like this amuses me

Turn down the sound before you head over to the Orgasmic Calculator. Every keystroke (hey, I typed that with a straight face!) is accompanied by bedroom noise.

Thanks Wegglywoo (and happy birthday!) (and I hope Callan's ok!!!!) for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 04:14 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 25, 2005

One of those "Ah-HAH!" moments

This probably explains the popularity of electric razors as Christmas gifts too.

Thanks to Elisson for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 11:40 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Important Reminder

Momentum is growing for the Open Source Amendment which seeks to restore the property rights taken away from citizens by the Supreme Court decision on Kelo.

Please, each and every one of you, do this:

  1. Go the the Open Source Amendment Petition and sign your name
  2. Spread the word via blogs, email, whatever

Links to details about the Open Source Amendment Project.

Posted by Ted at 11:21 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 24, 2005

Goody Two-Shoes is going to marry the Filthy Beast?

Over at The Sheila Variations, Red is posting a series on my all-time favorite actor, Cary Grant. I'm in heaven.

Posted by Ted at 06:38 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Stripperoki?

Another highlight from the aforementioned Ken and Squip podcast, that I forgot to tell you about.

A club in Oregon (?) has a deal going where the ladies do the ol' bump and grind while customers provide karioke-style accompaniment.

Damn straight I'd be there. Wonder if they'd let me sing Feelings?

Posted by Ted at 08:25 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 23, 2005

Not Just Sitting There, Doing Something!

When the Supreme Court made it's decision on Kelo, it triggered a firestorm of controversy.

Stephen, over at Hold The Mayo, didn't just pontificate and complain, he acted. After numerous revisions generated by debate and consensus, he's posted the final version of the Open Source Amendment. This amendment to the U.S. Constitution defines "open source" and limits the powers that government has to claim emminent domain over private property.

Now comes the next steps, and we all need to help. It's simplicity itself. Please, each and every one of you, do this:

  1. Go the the Open Source Amendment Petition and sign your name
  2. Spread the word via blogs, email, whatever

Thanks, especially to Stephen, for the reminder about what it means to live in a participatory democracy.

Posted by Ted at 09:52 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

July 22, 2005

The Ken and Squip Show

Podcasting has been getting quite a bit of attention lately, but I haven't had much time to listen or learn about it. For those not already in the know, podcasting is something like home-made radio, in the same way that blogging is home-made journalism. People create podcasts, which can then be downloaded and listened to on your iPod (hence the name) or other .mp3 player.

Before going on vacation I downloaded several editions of the Ken and Squip Show. They describe themselves thusly:

The Ken and Squip Show, created in October of 2004, is a bicoastal comedy podcast featuring Kenster J and Cindy C. (aka 'squipper' or 'squip'.) Seat-of-the-pants banter is the name of the game for our audio program. It's news, gossip, technology, new music and sex -- a cornucopia of some, all, or none of the those.

Squip is also the proprieter of Dusting My Brain, long-time resident of my sidebar. You may remember her as the winner of a loaf of Rocket Jones cinnamon raisin bread a while back. Since she's still around, I assume that it didn't poison her... although I haven't heard from her since then... hmmmm...

Anyway, I listed to the podcasts and I gotta tell you, I'm hooked. These two are funny as hell. Their humor is often juvenile and the entire show is definitely R-rated. In fact, Apple's iTunes has censored their title because it contains the word "intercourse"! Gotta love that.

Among the highlights was an apology from another podcaster who inadvertantly lost the link to Ken and Squip on his site without realizing it (that's the short version). When he realized what had happened, he apologized to them via his podcast, and believe me, it was the King of all apologies. I had tears in my eyes from laughing so hard.

About the only thing I would change is that Cindy should spend more time talking about her breasts. But hey, that's just me. Oh, and I deserve a shout out, just because.

So yes, I recommend downloading the Ken and Squip Show and giving it a listen. I'll be checking out other podcasts, including the Simian Syndicate, because he's earned a shot after that hilarious apology. Blue, I'm still cracking up over:

I am lower than dinosaur shit. And not poop from some giant mean-ass carnivore, but shit from some pussy plant-eating dinosaur.

That's not an exact quote, but it's close. Yo, Blue, I should get a shout out from you too. Just because.

Posted by Ted at 06:10 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

July 20, 2005

Devils, Poltergeists, and Politicians... scary damn stuff

Over at DynamoBuzz, Roberto has the lowdown on the NHL's New Jersey Devils' new home, built on top of an ancient cemetary.

Posted by Ted at 11:28 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

July 19, 2005

Recipe Blog

Kat, who's currently moving and on hiatus, also keeps a recipe blog full of her wit and wisdom. She's one of the funniest ladies out there:

Anyway, our cupboard was bare except for a very few staples like salt and pepper and flour. Have you ever tried salt and pepper flour balls? No? Then you haven’t lived. Or you’ve lived better than me. One of those.

I muchly recommend that you check her Kat's Kitchen out.

Posted by Ted at 11:28 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 16, 2005

Typical, in so many ways

From QandO:

During a routine patrol in Baghdad June 2, Army Pfc. Stephen Tschiderer, a medic, was shot in the chest by an enemy sniper, hiding in a van just 75 yards away. The incident was filmed by the insurgents.

Tschiderer, with E Troop, 101st "Saber" Cavalry Division, attached to 3rd Battalion, 156th Infantry Regiment, 256th Brigade Combat Team, 3rd Infantry Division, was knocked to the ground from the impact, but he popped right back up, took cover and located the enemy's position.

After tracking down the now-wounded sniper with a team from B Company, 4th Battalion, 1st Iraqi Army Brigade, Tschiderer secured the terrorist with a pair of handcuffs and gave medical aid to the terrorist who'd tried to kill him just minutes before.

They've got a link to the video too.

Posted by Ted at 10:33 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 15, 2005

Mu Food!

Munuviana's very own One Happy Dog Speaks hosts this week's edition of the Carnival of the Recipes! Yay!

Posted by Ted at 08:22 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Happy Birthday Mookie!!!

Today is her 17th Birthday. She's been very busy doing her school thing, and we don't get to visit her until Sunday (parents get 1 day during the month, and no cell phones are allowed), so we'll celebrate then.

One of the neat things is that each kid gets to nominate one teacher as most inspiring or influential, and those teachers are invited down for a day of recognition. Rachael chose her English teacher, who is also one of the drama teachers (if she'd gone to the Science curriculum instead of Humanities, her Physics teacher would've been the choice. She's been blessed with wonderful teachers).

Since today was the teacher day, we loaded her up with homemade cookies to deliver to Mookie and friends. So it worked out well enough.

Happy Birthday Sweetie!!!!! See you Sunday.

Posted by Ted at 06:44 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

July 14, 2005

Sounds about right

From Boudicca's Voice:

... a hurricane is like a prostate exam. You dread it and it's uncomfortable going through it, but once it's over, you want to just wipe yourself off and get on with your life.

That's from Bou's Dad, aka The Great Omnipotent One.

Posted by Ted at 10:43 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Space Shuttle

I haven't had time to keep up with the drama surrounding the latest Shuttle mission. All I can say for certain is that the astronauts recognize the risks in what they've chosen to do for a living, and that they willingly accept them. Now it's up to NASA to live up to their ideal.

The California Yankee has an interesting post up titled: Discovery Launch Scrubbed - Should It Have Been Scrubbed Earlier? There's an interesting discussion happening in the comments too.

Posted by Ted at 08:34 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 12, 2005

Blogger sighting

I had the pleasure of having lunch today with Robert, aka Tuning Spork of Blather Review and Stephen of Hold the Mayo.

I had a wonderful time, and we've already agreed to do it again next time I'm in the area. The conversation was better than the food, and the food was very, very good.

Thank you gentlemen, you made this vacation memorable!

Posted by Ted at 07:40 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

What? No donuts?!?!?

Rich has been attending the Prince William County Police Department Citizen Police Academy for the last few months, and just had his patrol car "ride along". Sounds cool, and I recommend taking a look and going back through his archives to read the whole series. The course was pretty comprehensive and very interesting.

Posted by Ted at 09:10 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

July 11, 2005

Go here and win trivial prizes

Jennifer of the inexplicably named Jennifer's History and Stuff is closing in on 200,000 visitors, and she's giving a prize to the happy visitor. So go, be counted, and dammit, be happy!

Posted by Ted at 10:49 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Opera Gloves, from Classy to Trashy

An outstanding collection of history in words and pictures, devoted to that most elegant of high style: For the Love of Opera Gloves. The photo gallaries are extensive, and the entire site is a wonderful way to lose yourself for a while.

Posted by Ted at 09:33 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

July 06, 2005

Sexy Album Covers

You might remember them, I sure do.

Thanks to Curmudgeonly & Skeptical for the trip down memory lane (nsfw).

Looks like some interesting links to follow way down at the bottom too.

Posted by Ted at 08:40 PM | Comments (1)

Thomas Jefferson: Blogger

Q&O posted a link to a thought-provoking article imagining what it would be like to construct the Declaration of Independence online today.

Stephen knows exactly what they're talking about.

Well worth the read.

Posted by Ted at 06:07 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Would you, could you, list them all?

An alphabetical list of all the characters who've appeared in Dr. Seuss books.

It seems that a few,
Escaped the review,
But are marked plain to see,
To be completeness-y,
And you can tell which,
So just deal with it, bitch.

That's harder than it looks.

Posted by Ted at 04:58 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

July 05, 2005

Until we get the NHL, this'll have to do

Fortunately, it appeals to the history buff in me too. Check out this amazing site that shows the history of NHL jerseys. Each team, year by year, with a little commentary on trends, comings and goings, and uniforms so ugly they define "stinks on ice". Rollover the pictures to see who won the Stanley Cup that season, and look at the bottom of the pages for bonus uniforms!

Thanks to the Hockey Pundits for the pointer. I expect I'll visit them a lot more often once we get hockey back.

Posted by Ted at 04:12 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 28, 2005

Oh, this is funny!

In a completely Geneva Convention Compliant sort of way.

The "GITMO Terro-Gator".

They'll be begging to bring back the J-Lo.

Posted by Ted at 05:37 AM | Comments (4)

June 27, 2005

Boo Freakin' Hoo

NHL player Jeremy Roenick:

"I know we are going to give up probably more than any union has ever given up in the history of (professional) sports and, to me, I think that's enough to bring the fans back - to know what their players are going to give up as much as they have in the last year," Roenick said. "If people are going to chastise professional athletes who are making a lot of money they need to look at the deal we are probably going to end up signing in the next three weeks."

I'm supposed to feel sorry because millionaires stage the worlds dumbest "biggest dick" contest?

"We're going to try to make it better for everybody, period, end of subject. And if you don't realize that, then don't come," said Roenick, who spoke at a charity golf event he played in over the weekend.

"We don't want you at the rink, we don't want you in the stadium, we don't want you to watch hockey."

"I say personally, to everybody who called us 'spoiled,' you guys are just jealous ... we have tried so, so hard to get this game back on the ice," Roenick said.

You win Jeremy. You are indeed the biggest dick.

Posted by Ted at 08:22 PM | Comments (3)

The Entitlement Generation

Who didn't see this coming?

"We're seeing an epidemic of people who are having a hard time making the transition to work — kids who had too much success early in life and who've become accustomed to instant gratification," says Dr. Mel Levine, a pediatrics professor at the University of North Carolina Medical School and author of a book on the topic called "Ready or Not, Here Life Comes."

While Levine also notes that today's twentysomethings are long on idealism and altruism, "many of the individuals we see are heavily committed to something we call 'fun.'"

He partly faults coddling parents and colleges for doing little to prepare students for the realities of adulthood and setting the course for what many disillusioned twentysomethings are increasingly calling their "quarter-life crisis."

In other words, for the first time in their lives, someone isn't handing them the world on a silver platter. They're actually being expected to earn something.

Now, deserved or not, this latest generation is being pegged, too — as one with shockingly high expectations for salary, job flexibility and duties but little willingness to take on grunt work or remain loyal to a company.

Of course, you know that the nitwits who validated the mindset that produced this coming generation have something to say about it.

"It's true they're not eager to bury themselves in a cubicle and take orders from bosses for the next 40 years, and why should they?" asks Jeffrey Arnett, a University of Maryland psychologist who's written a book on "emerging adulthood," the period between age 18 and 25. "They have a healthy skepticism of the commitment their employers have to them and the commitment they owe to their employers."

Notice how they automatically assume that working for a living makes you a drone or a cog in the machine. And as an employer, how committed do you think I'm going to be to better pay and benefits if I know that this generation of workers has the mindset that every position is a temp job?

My daughter Rachael is "interviewing" for a job this morning (she'll start in August when she gets back from Governor's School). She's got the job already, but the boss asked her to come in for a half day "to make sure she likes it". Rachael already told her, "I don't care if I like it or not, I want the job and I'll work hard". She knows that if she does a good job during the summer, odds are that she can get weekend hours once school starts again. She also knows that she has to earn that schedule, because nobody's going to give it to her just because she wants them.

Posted by Ted at 11:31 AM | Comments (9)

I'm an individual, just like everyone else

Take the MIT Weblog Survey

Thanks Stephen.

Posted by Ted at 04:39 AM | Comments (0)

June 26, 2005

Baseball and Bloggers

We enjoyed our second Baseball Blogmeet last night. Besides myself, my daughter Robyn and her boyfriend Jeremy joined us, as did daughter and blogger Mookie, Victor, Nic, Rob & Big Hair, and Buckethead and family.

We saw a pretty good game and had lots of good conversation. Victor gave Rob a copy of the album put out by Lancelot Link & the Evolution Revolution. Because, I believe that there was some controversy over Rob's continuing series on the 100 Top Guitar Players of All Time list (/understatement), some felt that LL&ER's axeman belonged on that list.

Buckethead and I got to thinking about baseball music, what song you'd want played as you came to the plate. Being the smartass that I am, I was better at picking music for the other team. Among my suggestions were "She's Having My Baby", the theme music from The Three Stooges, and then Buckethead knocked it outta da park with "Feelings". Do you think it'd be unsportsmanlike to play "Big Girls Don't Cry"?

They announced several groups who were there at the game, so we also thought we'd need some sort of group name for next time. After reading that random reputation shotgunning of Munuvians we recently experienced (and enjoyed mocking), I suggested "The Vast Both Wing Conspiracy".

So let's see... baseball music... blog group name... it sounds like a couple of contests and/or polls in the future, eh?

I'll announce next month's game date. And I encourage y'all in the DC Metro area to join us, it's a great time. Victor is going to check into a Frederick Keys game up at the north end of town to give us southerners a chance to enjoy Saturday traffic.

This area has lots of bloggers, so these gettogethers can and should become a regular and growing event. Invite a local blogger to the next one. Steve and Robert, pack up the families and come on out for an evening of baseball and good times.

And the fireworks after the game were pretty doggone good!

Posted by Ted at 07:29 PM | Comments (2)

Riding the lightning rod

Reportedly, after this photo, the pilot said:

"I'm a cowboy in the sky. Ms. Nature couldn't knock us outta the saddle."

YeeeeeHaw!

Thanks to Corporate Mommy for pointing this out.

Posted by Ted at 09:09 AM | Comments (1)

June 25, 2005

Stuff to look at

There've been a lot of blog birthdays lately, folks being online for a year or two. CGHill, over at Dustbury, celebrated his fifth year blogging the other day (and the site has been continuously updated longer than that)! You ladies especially should head over and thank him for making you feel young, unless you're at that odd female stage where you want to be thought older than your actual age, in which case you should send him naughty pictures of yourself. Lets make it simple: all the ladies should send him naughty pictures.

Hey, it's worth a shot, and maybe he'll share with me.

When my diabetic Mom had her leg amputated, she spent most of a year in a hospice (leg and other related issues). Being at the other end of the country, I only managed to visit her once in person, but for the short time I was there I was impressed with the helpfulness and professionalism of the staff. Of course, Mom wanted to go home and her opinion was colored by that fact, but even she admitted that her stay could've been a lot less pleasant. Azygos of Spanky's Place has an interesting post about hospice care, the cost and the economics of Medicare. Very interesting.

From Owlish, we get links to the end of the world, and my oh my, a zombie simulator! *doing happy dance*

I used to read the Gray Monk regularly, but somehow he dropped off of my radar. I highly recommend a visit, you might enjoy his mix of history and culture from across the pond.

Posted by Ted at 10:32 AM | Comments (1)

Wikipedia Wars and New Tools to Use

Wikipedia is a cool concept where anyone can enter information about a subject, and thus a "people's reference" comes to life. Unfortunately (as the L.A. Times recently discovered), it also allows any nitwit with a cause to enter, delete, edit and overwrite information about any subject. This means that Joe Bigot can write an entry on the KKK and make it sound like a social club with a few naughty fringe elements who got carried away with the whole lynching thing. Likewise, Daisy Treehugger can pound out a screen on Halliburton and the price of Ozone and to the unaware, it carries the same credibility as actual fact.

I like Wikipedia a lot. I don't trust it at all, but I like it.

This morning I stumbled across this idea and ensuing project to create a tool to track the editing history of a Wikipedia entry:

I'd love to see a tool for animating Wikipedia history for a given entry or block of text (see Udell's screencast for an example). Bonus points for highlighting what changed in each version, and extra special bonus points for a way to scrub backwards and forwards through time.

Check out the link and be amazed as they've made some quick progress towards the goal. I'll have to dig a little deeper, but this sounds like just the thing to help decide if a Wikipedia subject has been hijacked for a cause or not.

Thanks to Dawn for the original link which led to the link where I saw another link to where I found this. Oh, and you get to see a video where Tom Cruise kills Oprah.

Posted by Ted at 09:23 AM | Comments (0)

Good Joke

Courtesy of Eros Blog (link not safe for work, this joke is).

A prosperous old dairy farmer from someplace cold finally sold out to the local agribusiness giant and retired to Florida. Being a farmer, he liked owning lots of land, so he had to buy a big place with a large pond down near the swamp. He fixed up the pond a bit, dumped a few truckloads of sand to make a little beach, and kept a small swimming area cleared of weeds and scum. Nearby he had some picnic tables, horseshoe pits, and a stone barbeque. Shading it all was a mixed grove of fruit trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond to check his fruit trees, so he grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of pretty young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

As soon as they noticed him standing there watching, they all shrieked and went deeper into the pond. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave, you dirty old man!"

The old man thought for a moment, and then said "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or to make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up, he said "I'm just here to feed the alligators."

What's that they say? Age and treachery beats youth and enthusiasm every time.

Posted by Ted at 08:03 AM | Comments (0)

June 24, 2005

New MuNu

The Munuvian blogroll has grown yet again. Give a hearty "Yay!" and "Welcome" to the new cool kids on the block.

Owlish Mutterings
Mr. Babylon
Confederate Yankee
Country Pundit
Knockin' on the Golden Door
Mark Nicodemo
Dagney's Rant
The Gray Monk

Also, I'd forgotten to include one of the last batch of Munuvians. My apologies to Miasmatic Review, and welcome to the blogroll.

Posted by Ted at 04:17 AM | Comments (2)

June 23, 2005

Zipai

From the "Naughty Places" category: EroticZipai.

"Zipai" is a Chinese term to mean pictures of a person taken by one's self. Sort of another way to say self-portrait except it's only in the form of photographes. The web is full of such pictures because many young girls love to showcase themselves in such manner. Zipai's don't have to be erotic but most of the ones you see on this site is. This site also features some voyeurism and amateur pictures.

Not safe for work.

Posted by Ted at 04:43 AM | Comments (0)

Military Bling

From Dale Franks at Q & O, a very nice presentation of military insignia, selectable by branch of service.

Posted by Ted at 04:33 AM | Comments (0)

June 22, 2005

If this blog disappears, you'll know why

Forsooth, in the joy that reacheth my very bodkin, I misremembered to add thy Witch with the majick fob to the roster of bards on thy right.

All is right with my world again.

Posted by Ted at 06:28 PM | Comments (1)

Dilbert as Documentary

Real life Dilbertisms.

My favorite:

"We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees."

Thanks to Simon for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 11:58 AM | Comments (1)

If I won the lottery, a little would be put aside for things like this

The Willard Hotel in Washington D.C. is major posh, so you can imagine what kind of celebration they'd put on for the 4th of July.

Cocktails and hors d'oeuvres in a luxury suite before departing for a Potomac River cruise aboard the former Presidential Yacht Sequoia to watch the National Fireworks show.

While on board, partake of a gourmet buffet, open bar and champagne, music and dancing.

Back at the hotel, overnight accomodations with breakfast included. Of course, valet parking is part of the package.

Don't forget the keepsake gift.

And an evening like this will run you $1,750 per couple, not counting gratuities. Personally, I think it'd be worth it for a once in a lifetime experience like that.

Posted by Ted at 04:58 AM | Comments (1)

June 21, 2005

Saturday is Baseball Night - Reminder

The Phipps clan will be there, as will Rob and Big Hair from Left&Right. Nic and Victor have rizvipped. Who else want's to join us for an evening of beer, baseball and conversation?

I'll have to remember to wear my cup. ;)

We're meeting at 6pm in front of the box office. Email me for cell phone numbers.

Posted by Ted at 06:17 PM | Comments (2)

What the NHL leadership has been doing during the strike

Apparently they're all working for Formula 1 racing.

Sheesh.

Posted by Ted at 05:49 PM | Comments (0)

June 20, 2005

The Frozen Tundra Hockey Classic

Over at Dynamo Buzz (your source for all political Joisey things), I found a pointer to news that in February next year, there will be an outdoor hockey game at Lambeau Field, home of the NFL Green Bay Packers. The matchup will feature the University of Wisconsin and Ohio State. Roberto's got more details and a link.

Be there, or be warm.

Posted by Ted at 04:59 PM | Comments (0)

June 19, 2005

Questions of my Childhood

Amy tagged me with this meme and went to the trouble of emailing me to let me know (and throwing in a little ego-stroking as well). Since I'm a sucker for flattery...

Five Things I Miss From My Childhood

1. The toys. We'd spend hours outside playing with G.I. Joes, and not those wussified later versions either with the lame-ass "real" hair and beard, or kung-fu grip, or even later those dwarf-i-fied posers. I'm talking real freakin' G.I. Joes, with miniature versions of actual machine guns and grenades and bayonettes instead of made-up "cool" weapons. We didn't have any stupid nicknames either, like "Cobra" or "Streetsweeper". No secret fortress or fancy basecamps, we'd dig actual trenches and ambush pits with twig and grass covers, and someone's Mom would make us little canvas ponchos and squares that we'd turn into tents. Each of us had one or maybe two Joe's, a rifle for each and maybe a pistol and a few grenades. Then there were the Erector sets. I had three or four of them, huge metal boxes stuffed full of metal girders and plates and L-beams and pulleys and hundreds of stripped little screws and nuts. Mine all came from the flea market, where my folks would run across them on someone's table and buy it for me. They weren't complete sets, just lots of random pieces thrown together for sale secondhand. That was ok though, and I would spend hours building giant cranes and cars, and every "new" box of parts was like Christmas. For a while, my brother and I were into Hot Wheels. When we finally talked our parents into getting us a set, I specifically asked for a Camaro. I was so disappointed when we opened the set and pulled out the two included cars, because one was a Camaro. Turns out that what I really wanted was a Corvette, and my parents achieved deification when they handed each of us an extra car and mine was the Corvette I so desperately wanted! I remember my brother's first car was the Hot Wheels version of the Beatnik Bandit in bright metallic green. We collected a couple dozen cars apiece and never went beyond a fairly basic track setup, although my folks bought us a pair of high-banked turns one year for Christmas. There's so much more... Lego, back when you had to use your imagination when building things with them, and your whole collection of parts consisted of red and white bricks with maybe a few clear plastic and the rare yellow, black or blue brick. I've posted before about the Secret Sam briefcase. We had a closet in the old house that was full of board games. The contents of that closet could become a post of its own, maybe for a rainy day, that seems appropriate.

2. Orchards
. I grew up on the outskirts of San Jose, California (before it became the Silicon Valley) and our playgrounds were fruit orchards. We spent the days running around and playing in them, we camped in them at night, and often we earned a little pocket money in them during the summer by cutting apricots for drying. Later we moved to the opposite end of the city and instead of apricots and cherries we had miles and miles of pear orchards. All summer long we feasted on pears picked right from the trees and towards fall had huge battles where the ammo was overripe fruit. At the end of the day we'd head home bathed in a sickly-sweet miasma from the smooshed fruit that we'd been splatted with.

3. Rainy days.
I still love rainy days, but when I was young my Dad built a patio cover made of corrugated aluminum. Next best thing to a tin roof, believe me. I loved playing outside even when it rained, and at night the best lullaby ever was the sound of the drops dancing and drumming outside the window.

4. Fishing with my Dad. For one stretch, my Dad worked nights. During the summer he would come home before dawn and get my brother and I up to go fishing. He'd send the dog in to wake us up while he brewed up a thermos of coffee for himself, and sometimes he brought a bag of donuts for breakfast. We'd quickly get dressed and grab our poles and tackle boxes and head for one of the local reservoirs. We had lots of choices in our area, but I remember going to Coyote and Lake Anderson most of the time. When we got there, we'd bait up with earthworms (sometimes with salmon eggs just for a change) and toss our lines in from the bank. We caught mostly crappie and bluegill, occasionally a small bass and even more occasionally a catfish. If someone was nearby we'd offer them our fish, if not we'd release them. After a couple of hours the sun would be fully up and the fish would quit biting so we'd head home. Dad would go to bed and we'd head outside to play all day.

5. Mom's Goulash. "Goulash" is what my Mom called it, although I know now that it was nothing like the real thing. I remember it had chunks of tomato and hamburger and maccaroni in it and I absolutely loved it. We didn't have it often because my Dad hated it, and I learned something valuable from him. As my kids were growing up we'd sometimes have something that I hated, but I ate it anyway because they liked it. And since I would do that, they learned that sometimes you do something you would really rather not just because it makes someone else happy. I asked my Mom for the recipe a couple of times before she died, but she never got around to giving it to me, if she even had it written down anywhere. I'll never try to make it from memory, because I remember it as being perfect, and I don't want to disappoint myself.

So that's my five. Thanks Amy, this one was fun!

The rules:

Remove the #1 item from the following list, bump everyone up one place and add your blog’s name in the #5 spot. You need to actually link to each of the blogs for the link-whorage aspect of this fiendish meme to kick in.

margi lowry *dot* com
Note-It Posts
Eat The Lettuce
Prochein Amy
Rocket Jones

Next, select four unsuspecting victims, list and link to them.

SilverBlue
Son of Cheese
Dusting My Brain
Oorgo Blog

Posted by Ted at 10:56 AM | Comments (3)

June 17, 2005

Stripping is big business

That's according to this report, and Rocket Jones is already positioned as a valuable resource for the ladies who want to dance.

Now *I'm* doing a happy dance. No charge.

Posted by Ted at 06:49 AM | Comments (2)

June 16, 2005

Closure on the whole Rocket Jones Banner Contest

Derek was the winner and I promised an actual prize. Now I knew that he was a goalie in a rec league, so in an inspired moment I figured I'd find an autographed hockey photo on eBay and send it to him.

Lots to choose from, but I was got sniped at the last second twice. The second one really pissed me off because it was an uber-cool picture of Gump Worsley stopping a point blank shot by Brad Park (Gump was the last NHL goalie to play without a mask).

Next I thought about concentrating on Patrick Roy stuff, since Derek is from Colorado and Roy (pronounced "Wah") has been wowing Avalanche fans for years. So I emailed him and cleverly grilled him ("so you're an Av's fan, eh?"), and he sang like a canary that he was really a Quebec Nordiques fan. The Nordiques stunk up the NHL for years and then when they moved the franchise to Colorado they immediately won the Stanley Cup.

So on eBay I started looking for Quebec Nordique goalie photos and stumbled across his prize. I'm glad he likes it.

So there ya go. Two opportunities to win and two actual prizes awarded, and neither one had a thing to do with rockets. Gotta fix that.

Posted by Ted at 08:55 PM | Comments (3)

June 15, 2005

MILF: Mothers I'd Love to Free

In Iran, a demonstration by women for equal rights. These weren't just university students either. Read about it here and follow the links for pictures.

Thanks to The Everlasting Phelps for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 04:22 PM | Comments (0)

What he said!

I started a post on it this morning, but didn't finish it before having to leave for work.

I should've known that Random Nuclear Strikes would be all over it. Better than I could've done too.

Posted by Ted at 11:54 AM | Comments (1)

Meme's for Dummies

This is the world's easiest meme, and it's going to spread like wildfire because it's amazingly simple yet powerful.

Post something. That's it.

I tag Instapundit, Daily Kos, Michele Malkin, Wonkette and Little Green Footballs.

Check 'em out, and if they post something today you can marvel at my power and influence! Mwahahahahahahaha.

Posted by Ted at 05:45 AM | Comments (3)

June 14, 2005

So silly, I could swear I saw it on an old episode of "Love, American Style"

Wolf brings up some good points about Scientology and it's chief spokesdrone.

This site purports to have the real story about the Barefaced Messiah. Plenty of sordid sex and cult wierdness.* I've been reading it off and on for a while now as time allows. One thing is undisputed: L. Ron Hubbard was an odd duck, and he had a knack for attracting other gullible oddballs to himself.

I tried reading that Dianetics book once or twice, but just couldn't wade through the pseudo-scientific gibberish to make any sense of it. I don't think I got past the first 30 pages.

*Ok, there's more cult wierdness than sordid sex, but what are you really more interested in?

Posted by Ted at 08:54 PM | Comments (0)

Ham and eggs. Salt and pepper. Martin and Lewis.

Mookie informed me today that she was looking around at the Sims 2 website and found a downloadable game version of Frank Lloyd Wright's architectural masterpiece Fallingwater.

Being me, I immediately thought of zombies (thanks to this post) and sure enough:

One of the new career tracks that comes with "The Sims 2 University" is the Paranormal career. The Paranormal career reward object is the Resurrect-o-Nomitron, an object that can be used to bring Sims back from the dead.

Oh yeah, Sims 2 zombies and Frank Lloyd Wright. It's a natural.

Posted by Ted at 05:27 PM | Comments (0)

Classy and Assy

Denzel is pure class.

Sean is pure ass.

Posted by Ted at 04:43 PM | Comments (5)

June 13, 2005

Rah!

A blog devoted to NFL Cheerleaders, with plenty of links and photos.

Posted by Ted at 11:31 AM | Comments (1)

Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun... oh, and a side of data... to go

Simon is asking for your help. In the past, various surveys have been done based on the number of hours a McDonalds employee must work to be able to buy a Big Mac. Now it's time for an update.

We need three things:

1. Your location (city and country).
2. The price of a Big Mac at your local McDonalds.
3. The hourly wage (in local currency) of a worker at that McDonalds.

This is serious by the way. If you get a chance, grab a Mac and ask the cashier what they make. Then send the data to:

simon[at]simonworld[dot]mu[dot]nu

And help spread the word. They'll be publishing the results soon.

Posted by Ted at 06:10 AM | Comments (4)

Fallen Heroes Memorial

Recently at Mookie's high school, they held a ceremony to dedicate a new memorial. Gar-Field High School has lost two alumni in Iraq, and another school in our county, Hylton High, lost two more, including one last week. I've heard that there is another one or two from other schools, but I don't have any solid information about that.

The write-up was in the local paper, but because I'm not confident that their links will last for any length of time, I've reprinted almost the entire article in the extended entry (click below on "light this candle...").

One interesting note. I've heard that while setting up this memorial, a search was made for similar things done at other schools. Apparently, their research turned up the fact that no school has dedicated a permanent Memorial to the military since midway through the Vietnam War. This was attributed to the fact that wartime memorials fell out of favor at that time because of the general anti-war and anti-military feelings of the public. Take that with a grain of salt, because although I thought it interesting enough to mention, it's all second-and-third-hand information.

In any case, I'm very proud of the school for doing this. Mookie and Robyn were at the dedication, and they said it was a moving and emotional event. Pictures of the memorial will be posted in the next day or two (assuming Rachael gets a few moments between classes).

Gar-Field honors fallen graduates


Amanda Stewart
Potomac News
Friday, June 3, 2005


It was a time for community, shared memories and some tears.
Students, parents, teachers and other members of the community gathered Thursday at Gar-Field Senior High School in Woodbridge for the dedication of the school's new Fallen Heroes Memorial.

The memorial honors the three Gar-Field graduates who died while serving in the military: class of 2002 graduates Brian Medina and David Ruhren, who died in Iraq, and class of 1968 graduate Richard Yates, who died in Vietnam.

The dedication ceremony was a time for teachers, students, family members and others touched by the lives of the soldiers to remember them.

"Though separated by several decades, each in their own way answered the call of their country and gave the ultimate sacrifice," said Bill Willis, physics teacher and chair of the Gar-Field Memorial Committee.

The memorial contains three plaques bearing soldiers' names and pictures under the words "Honoring Through Remembrance."

"The greatest reward for teachers is to make a difference in a student's life," Willis said. "This memorial is our way of thanking our students for making a difference in our lives."

Yates was killed in action in South Vietnam in 1969. Willis spoke on Yates's behalf at the ceremony.

Yates was eager to do his part and serve his country in the Vietnam War, Willis said.

"Even though it's been 35 years, it's never too late to say thank you," he said.

Brian Medina was killed in action in Fallujah in November.

His father, Greg Medina, spoke on his behalf at the ceremony.

Like many other soldiers, Medina was proud to enter the Marine Corps after graduation, Greg Medina said. Medina looked forward to going to Iraq and serving his country there, his father said.

David Ruhren was killed in a mess hall tent bombing in Mosul in December.

His mother, Sonja Ruhren, wrote a letter to him which Willis read at the ceremony.

Ruhren was also proud to join the Army after graduation. Sonja Ruhren recalled the special relationship she had with her son and the plans he had for his future, she said in her letter.

The ceremony ended with the unveiling of the memorial which will remain on display in the school.

At the ceremony's closing, the Junior ROTC folded a flag that was flown over the American Embassy in Iraq in honor of Medina and Ruhren and placed it at the memorial.

The school's choir and band also performed.

In his closing remarks, Willis stressed the importance of remembering not only the soldiers who lost their lives in combat, but also those who continue to serve the country today.

"We should never forget those who serve at this moment, in distant places," Willis said.

Yates, the young man who was killed in Vietnam, was a crewmember on a medivac helicopter. After loading wounded onto his aircraft, he jumped back out to gather their personal gear and was shot in the back while climbing back inside. He died during the flight back to the medical facility.

Posted by Ted at 05:04 AM | Comments (1)

June 12, 2005

Bub's in hiding

Because the guys over at the Ministry of Minor Perfidy are talking handguns, and rating them by the only scale that really matters: its effectiveness as an anti-zombie weapon.

Check out the latest object of my lust the Kimber .45 ACP and the Smith & Wesson 686P in .38/.357 Magnum.

I love the original Model 1911's, and owned an earlier version of the S&W, which was a fine weapon. Go read the reviews, and don't forget to lock your doors and windows at night, just in case Bub gets hungry.

Posted by Ted at 08:54 AM | Comments (1)

June 11, 2005

You might not get this if you're not a PC geek

Yeah, right. Who am I kidding?

Posted by Ted at 09:49 PM | Comments (3)

June 10, 2005

The Carnival of the Recipes is up

News from the Great Beyond is hosting this week. Bon Apetit!

Posted by Ted at 06:42 PM | Comments (0)

Steve Cropper inducted into the Songwriter's Hall of Fame

My love of music is broad, but my knowlege is spotty. To me, Steve Cropper will always be one of the members of the the original Blues Brothers band.

Mention that he was a member of the classic Booker T and the MG's and I'll say "yeah, I'd heard that before, I think". But basically, it was Jake and Elwood and Mr. Natural and Matt "Guitar" Murphy and Donald "Duck" Dunn and Steve Cropper and the rest...

Which goes to show the genius displayed in putting together the Blues Brothers band. Those guys could play, which made for a solid foundation for the comedy. Instead of being a one-shot joke with a lame-ass garage band, these guys lifted it into brilliance. They turned it into a franchise and taught an entire generation about the blues and soul by featuring guest stars like Cab Calloway, James Brown, B.B. King, Wilson Pickett, Taj Mahal, Bo Diddley and the entire composite super-band Louisiana Gator Boys featured at the end of Blues Brothers 2000.

So Steve Cropper, already a member of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, will now be inducted into the Songwriter's Hall of Fame, alongside John Fogerty and Isaac Hayes (think he'll do "Chocolate Salty Balls"?). Even if you didn't know Steve Cropper's name, you know his music. Songs like "Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay", "Knock on Wood", "Soul Man" and "In the Midnight Hour".

Yes indeed, you know his music.

Posted by Ted at 06:09 AM | Comments (3)

June 09, 2005

Since it popped outta my brain, I may as well take credit for it

Combine two trendy Japanese passtimes, and you'd have:

Kariokekakke

Inspired by Squipper's "caption this" post.

Posted by Ted at 08:18 PM | Comments (1)

I got mine!

A friend of mine is selling these on eBay.

I bought one for my wife's car (lifelong Orioles fan), Mookie wants a couple for school notebooks, and I'm gonna put one on a rocket.

The price is extremely reasonable, and includes free shipping. Why don't you have one already?

Tell him Rocket Jones sent you.

Posted by Ted at 07:30 PM | Comments (1)

'Rithmetic 'bout Readin' and Writin'

I'm going to start you with a quote:

Across California, children are bringing home notes warning of dire consequences if Gov. Schwarzenegger’s scorched earth budget is approved – a budget that slashes Proposition 98 public school spending from $42.2 billion this year all the way down to $44.7 billion next year. That should be proof enough that our math programs are suffering.

That's the beginning of an article penned by Senator McClintock, who represents the 19th district in the California Legislature (his website here). In this article, he goes on to itemize funding for a hypothetical school of 180 students with a budget of $1.2 million to get through the year.

I have nitpicks with some of his numbers, but overall I think he's on target. Among his hypothetical suggestions:

  • lease commercial office space for classrooms (which includes "washrooms, around-the-clock janitorial service, wall-to-wall carpeting, utilities and music in the elevators")
  • hiring 5 teachers ("but not just any teachers. I propose hiring only associate professors from the California State University at their level of pay")
  • replacing in-school PE classes with fully-funded annual memberships to a local gym ("This would provide our children with a trained and courteous staff of nutrition and fitness counselors, aerobics classes and the latest in cardiovascular training technology")

There's so much more worth reading. This guy isn't anti-education or anti-teacher, he's anti-teacher's union, and he makes his points with common sense.

He starts his conclusion with this:

The school I have just described is the school we’re paying for. Maybe it’s time to ask why it’s not the school we’re getting.

Mucho thanks to Jay at Sophont for pointing this one out. In fact, he's been very very good lately, and you should just start at the top and scroll on down to see everything.

Posted by Ted at 11:41 AM | Comments (2)

Something you don't see every day

Fellow Munuvian Ogre has a horizontal blog.

Posted by Ted at 04:35 AM | Comments (0)

June 08, 2005

Soprano, eh? Only if I pull my underwear up real tight

Exciting news from Germany:

Experts have discovered a previously unknown work by Johann Sebastian Bach in a German library.

It's been authenticated, and his last unknown vocal work was discovered in 1935. That piece was only a fragment, this is a complete work, and it's dated!

The find is a well-rounded composition - not a major work, but a casual piece of superior quality.

Bach composed the work for a soprano, to be accompanied by strings or a harpsichord, to mark the 52nd birthday of the duke of Saxony-Weimar, for whom he worked as a court organist.

An award-winning conductor is preparing to record it, and the score will be published in the fall.

Thanks to Transterrestrial Musings for pointing this out.

Posted by Ted at 08:19 PM | Comments (1)

The Official L&R Top Guitar Players

Over at Left & Right, Rob has reworked the list of Top Guitar Players. Go check it out and review his revised methodology, or just rant in his comments about how misguided he is.

Posted by Ted at 06:38 PM | Comments (0)

June 07, 2005

Hide the espresso, or at least make a proper cup of it

Two Nervous Dogs. She comes, she goes, I laugh, I cry. Go read, and enjoy some of the bestest funniest cleverest writing on the net, before she says "screw it" and packs it up once again.

How's about a little bitter to go with your caffeine? What better than Four Honkies, who are some attitudinally-blessed dudes. Excellent read so far, I have great expectations for this group.

WitNit has this on his sidebar:

Munuvians I Am Methodically Checking Out One By One Because I'm Just A Curious Kind of Guy

Add in the bondage link (I haven't followed it) (yet), and some very sharp writing and I invite you to have a looksee and maybe you'll find something to your liking.

Posted by Ted at 05:35 AM | Comments (2)

June 06, 2005

Da-da-da Dahhhhhhh!

According to CalTechGirl:

Starting Tuesday, the BBC will be offering all 9 of Beethoven's symphonies for FREE AND LEGAL download!!!

Not precisely correct, because Mookie and I downloaded Symphonies 1 and 3 this evening. Yay!

Follow yon link for details. There was a quote painted on the wall of our music room in high school:

Music washes from the soul, the dust of everyday life.

Never pass up a chance to absorb a little culture.

Posted by Ted at 07:31 PM | Comments (1)

I just figured out what's missing

Viking kitties. You can never have too many Viking kitties.

I've missed them.

Posted by Ted at 05:48 PM | Comments (2)

Zoinks!

"Africa is worth fighting for. Europe, in its present form, is not." -- British Prime Minister Tony Blair

This refers to changing the focus of his administration from joining the EU to fighting poverty in the Third World.

Thanks to Q&O for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 12:18 PM | Comments (1)

June 04, 2005

Frank Lloyd Wright vs. Zombies

A light analysis of one of his masterpieces and how defendable it is if the undead rise again. Plenty of interesting background history too, of the more mundane sort.

Thanks to Mrs. Spoons for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 03:06 PM | Comments (1)

Still catchin' up

From Gir.

Immediately following there is a list of 28 different occupations. You must select at least 5 of them (feel free to select more). You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select 5 of the items as it was passed to you). Each one begins with "If I could be..." Of the 5 you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession.

For example, if the selected occupation was "linguist," you might take the phrase "If I could be a linguist...I would learn Hebrew, Greek, Russian, Italian and Chinese." See how easy that is? Here's the list:

The list thus far:

* If I could be a scientist...
* If I could be a farmer...
* If I could be a musician...
* If I could be a doctor...
* If I could be a painter...
* If I could be a gardener...
* If I could be a missionary...
* If I could be a chef...
* If I could be an architect...
* If I could be a linguist...
* If I could be a psychologist...
* If I could be a librarian...
* If I could be an athlete...
* If I could be a lawyer...
* If I could be an inn-keeper...
* If I could be a professor...
* If I could be a writer...
* If I could be a llama-rider...
* If I could be a bonnie pirate...
* If I could be an astronaut...
* If I could be a world famous blogger...
* If I could be a justice on any one court in the world...
* If I could be married to any current famous political figure...
* If I could be a superhero...
* If I could be a comic book character...
* If I could be a jail guard...
* If I could be an animal...
* If I could be a hacker...

If I could be a gardner, I'd love to have acres to play with. Formal, informal, meadow, with plenty of minions to do the heavy scut work.

If I could be a chef, I'd probably lose weight. I eat less when I'm doing serious cooking for some reason.

If I could be a librarian, I'd be in heaven. To be paid to be surrounded by books and to do research all day would be wonderful. I think I'd like to be involved in the efforts to commit historical works to eformats.

If I could be a llama-rider... sorry, I don't swing that way.

If I could be an astronaut, when I wasn't in space, I'd want to be doing educational initiatives for younger kids to get them excited about science and math.

I'm not going to pass this one on to anyone specific, but if you want to take a whack at the ol' meme-pinata, feel free and link back. Your name will show up at the bottom, so there's the link-carrot to go with the pinata-stick.

Posted by Ted at 11:00 AM | Comments (1)

More catchin' up

I'm up early this Saturday morning because Mookie has her SATs. I think this is her first try at the new ones, I know she took the old version at least once. She's not done badly, but since you can submit the best scores you get, why not spend a few bucks to improve the numbers, eh?

So while waking up for the drive across county (why can't they schedule the dang thing nearby?), I thought I'd knock off a meme that was handed to me a while ago by Elisson, who just happened to post this bizarre bit o' arcana recently about the oddest guest appearance in a comic strip (plus, he flew rockets).

Anyways, the meme is:

Take a picture of your fridge and/or describe the contents in poetry form.

Uh huh. Right. Early on a Saturday morning, I'm gonna wax poetic. Being a bit cranky and rushed this AM, I'll do a quick description in free form (play those mental bongos in the background and call me beat, daddy-o).

Two types of eggs. Eggs for baking. And reduced-cholestorol eggs for jes' plain eatin'. Lots of each, because two of us went to the store separately last time and both bought eggs without realizing the other did too.

Sodas, the giver of caffeine. Diet Coke (wife), and Diet Pepsi (yours truly), with a few odd Dr. Pepper's tossed in there because I like a little variety. In the drinkable liquids category are also ice water and several cartons of OJ. Milk is there as well, but we use it mainly for splashing over cereal (oh heavenly cornflakes) and cooking.

A half-empty carton of heavy cream, used for cooking, and the remainder used for scrambled eggs and/or mashed potatoes. Also in the back are my containers of base, one chicken, on beef, for making stock when I cook. More convenient than canned, boxed or homemade, and better tasting than those frightful cubes.

A huge jar of diced garlic, for convenience, next to a small jar of horseradish, for fire.

Yogurt. Our traditional at-work breakfast is to snag a container of low-fat yogurt and a piece of fruit. Been doing it for years, and you'll usually find at least a week's worth of the "active cultures" in the fridge.

With summer here, in spirit if not officially, veggies abound. We have a huge old Tupperware salad-bar thingie that is chock full of grape tomatoes, broccoli florets, julienned carrots, diced scallions, sliced cucumbers and more. That sits on the shelf above another monstrous bowl full of salad greens. Dressings are in the fridge door (which reminds me, we need to restock as I'm out of Bleu Cheese).

Leftovers. Last night we had Italian sausages grilled, with grilled fruit and veggies alongside. A platter of sausages, pear quarters, green pepper and slabs of onion are waiting for lunchtime picking at.

There's a container of Chicken Mo Fo in there too. Oldest daughter Robyn took some to work yesterday for lunch and brought back rave reviews. That makes me happy.

The crisper drawers are stuffed full of more veggies (top) and meats and cheeses (bottom). The door contains a few various jams and jellies for PBJ's, some ketchup, mustard and other sauces (mostly for cooking) and a brand spanking new jar of yeast for the breadmaker.

Gotta run.

Posted by Ted at 06:20 AM | Comments (1)

June 03, 2005

Catchin' up on some things

First, new Munuvians. Yay! Each of these people had to be nominated to join our happy clan of bloggers, and then voted on in a super-secret process involving thought and counting and everything. We're like the Island of Misfit Toys. I'm the Teddy Bear with the very large ego and the very small diplomatic ability. But hey, my questions get answered.

So please go visit and welcome:

Feisty Repartee
Snugg Harbor
One Happy Dog Speaks
Stuff I Think You Should Know
Quality Weenie
Bobo Blogger
Drunken Wisdom
Two Roads Diverged
AAFFLLAACCKK
And What Next
Id's Cage

Bring pie. Pie's always nice.

Posted by Ted at 06:39 PM | Comments (2)

June 02, 2005

Read the whole dam thing

Gordon Tatro does it again!

It would not be correct for me to copy and paste the letters here (they would not look correct or official anyway, if I did that), so please click this link and read it...the reply from the owner to the State of Michigan...is GREAT!

Don't'cha love it when the beauacracy plays straight man?

Posted by Ted at 12:34 PM | Comments (2)

June 01, 2005

Love is...

Laughing my ass off at these twisted "Love is..." cartoons.

Wegg, thanks. I needed that.

Posted by Ted at 07:32 PM | Comments (0)

I'm not a lover of poetry

But this week's poetry day offering, courtesy of annika, is wonderful.

Posted by Ted at 12:07 PM | Comments (1)

You gotta see this

Over at Spork's place, an absolutely outstanding photo taken on Memorial Day.

Posted by Ted at 05:03 AM | Comments (0)

May 31, 2005

Hmmmm...

Ok, I was able to see Mr. Helpful from work (during lunch), but from home I get a 404 Forbidden screen. Apparently my IP or something has been banned by his server.

Posted by Ted at 04:06 PM | Comments (4)

Ashamed to be a native Californian

So the California legislature has passed a bill to limit textbooks in the state to 200 pages. *sigh*

You realize, of course, that this effectively limits them to 100 useful pages, since half will be printed in Spanish.

I'm not even sure if that's a joke or not.

Update: Oops, I wasn't clear. The bit about 200 pages tops is true, the part about half being in Spanish is my (poor) attempt at humor. If it were true, there'd be 25 pages in English, 25 in Spanish, 25 in Vietnamese, 25 in Ebonics, 25 in ...

Posted by Ted at 11:18 AM | Comments (8)

A couple of quickies

Squipper, aka Cindy, is enjoying her homemade cinnamon bread. Inexplicably, the USPS delivered it to her yesterday morning. Odd, that.

What the heck happened to Mr. Helpful? I must've missed the memo, did he move into a new place on the net?

In vacation news, I had a long list of things to take care of while I was off, and I got about 90% of it done. I also brought work home, but only spent about 15 minutes with it before putting it away again.

I also went to a very cool picnic on Saturday for my friend Bob, who recently got his associates degree in IT and is ready for a career change. Bob is a quiet guy, he and I knew each other for years before we did more than nod good morning in the hallway. He's been going to night school for awhile, sticking to it through new kids and family and work and everything else life could throw at him. Congrats, Amigo!!! (he reads this blog, but seldom - if ever - leaves a comment... like I said, real quiet)

Posted by Ted at 05:53 AM | Comments (1)

May 30, 2005

Memorial Day

From the plaque "To Honor U.S. Servicemen and Women Held Prisoner by Terrorists", in memory of Colonel William Richard Higgins, USMC:

He died far away,
Before his time,
But as a soldier and for his country.

I posted this piece about Quantico National Cemetary last Memorial Day.

Update: Nic has posted some wonderful pictures of the various memorials around Washington D.C.

Posted by Ted at 06:04 AM | Comments (1)

May 29, 2005

Iron Birds fly again

A group of historical flight enthusiasts are flight testing the first of five Me 262's that they're building. This Messerschmitt design was introduced near the end of WWII and was the first practical operational jet fighter.

Thanks to Transterrestrial Musings for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 01:12 PM | Comments (2)

May 27, 2005

All collectedly gathered together for your surfing pleasure

Got a *lot* done yesterday and finished up the evening by watching one of Misty Mundae's more recent efforts, Bite Me! Giant mutant spiders in a strip club. You know I'm loving it.

Boss: What's gotten into you?

Crystal: Spider venom, and I like it.

Consider that a mini-review and recommendation.

Speaking of clitorises... clitoris's... clitorii... what's the plural of clitoris? Oh well, doesn't matter... Speaking of female anatomy, wegglywoo points out an article that proves once again that there are always new things to discover right under our noses (ahem).

Sorry, I was up way late and up way early. Sleep deprivation makes me silly. It's a serious article though, and has some interesting implications for current surgical techniques.

Since we're navigating around the female form, it might be useful to be able to actually navigate, eh? And what better way than by sextant, especially an actual working sextant you build yourself using AOL cd's, mirrors and lego? Thanks to the Ministry for this nifty link.

Mookie picked up the soundtrack to Spamalot. Excellent. I especially enjoyed "The Song That Goes Like This". By the way, that is also one of the best home pages I've ever seen.

One Hit Wonder Central, courtesy of the Llama Butchers.

Gir has tagged me with another meme that goes on the ol' "get to it later stack", alongside the one from Elisson.

Squipper (who has a loaf of home made cinnamon-raisin bread heading her way at the speed of USPS) points out an amusing list: "Things I'd Probably Say If the Bush Administration Were Just a Weekly TV Show and I Were a Regular Viewer". In a completely non-partisan manner I'd like to mention that you can replace "Bush" with "Clinton" or even "Republican" or "Democrat" and the list would still be perfectly spot on.

(I know that contest was a long time ago and I'm just getting around to sending Cindy her prize, but I prefer to think of it this way: I take a long time to satisfy a lady.)

A while back I linked to "By Ourselves, For Ourselves" over at Random Nuclear Strikes. Basically, it's a series of practical essays on survival if the shit ever hits the fan. I consider these a must-read, and the latest installment is up.

You might not like guns, but you should understand the purpose of the 2nd Ammendment. And if you think it's terrible that the government tells you who you can or cannot marry, or what you can or cannot do in the privacy of your own home, yet you remain anti-gun, then I say you're foolish to discard the ultimate Constitutional remedy provided by the men of wisdom who designed that document. Another link from Random Nuclear Strikes.

The Everlasting Phelps has a new advertiser that sells Japanese products. I got a kick just browsing the catalog, and just might order the "Respect the Emperor, Expel the Foreign Barbarians" t-shirt.

Lynn S has been on a roll lately, with links to this page of vintage pulp Octopus covers, and this group blog called Drawn!, which is all about illustration, and which led me to By It's Cover and The Planet of Sardines.

I love the internet.

Posted by Ted at 06:01 AM | Comments (1)

May 25, 2005

Resurfacing

Professor Chris Hall appears after a long absence at his new site, under the same old name: Spacecraft.

You've been missed!

Posted by Ted at 07:24 PM | Comments (0)

Tipping Point

We've heard that term used a lot lately. There are the personal variety ("I've had enough!") and the group version (Lebanon is an excellent example, as is the Ukraine).

Here is one Canadian's declaration of having reached their tipping point.

Wow.

Thanks to Debbye for pointing that out.

Posted by Ted at 11:45 AM | Comments (0)

Yes, exactly!

Speaking of baseball, over at the McCovey Chronicles, Grant tries to explain the rivalry between the Giants and Dodgers.

It's something so ingrained, so automatic, I can't even prevent myself from sneering when I see a child wearing a Dodger cap. It's ridiculous. There but for the grace of geography go I, you know? The reason most of us are Giants fans is because of where we were born, where our parents were born, the careers they might have pursued, the twists and turns of relatives seven or eight generations back, and little more. At times, the rivalry seems completely arbitrary.

Also, the Dodgers are objectively evil and wrong. That also has something to do with this whole rivalry thing.

Amen.

Posted by Ted at 05:11 AM | Comments (1)

May 24, 2005

Because there's just not enough quirky and romantic New York stories out there

Alien Loves Predator.

Thanks to Red Ted for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 05:10 PM | Comments (2)

May 23, 2005

New Banner

The tapestry up top was done by yours truly and entered anonymously into the banner contest.

If you'd like, follow this link to make your own Bayeaux Tapestry (needs Flash).

Posted by Ted at 04:45 AM | Comments (0)

May 20, 2005

Andrews AFB Airshow this weekend

The airshow is one of the biggest events of the year in the Washington DC metro area, but it's always kind of melancholy and bittersweet time for my family. We don't attend, and haven't been to an airshow since 1988.

I suspect that others' thoughts go back as well, since comments on the original Flugtag '88 series of posts increase as this event approaches.

Read the posts, read the comments. Count your blessings.

Posted by Ted at 06:13 AM | Comments (0)

May 19, 2005

Some interesting and entertaining links

Today and tomorrow and, hell, I'm gonna be swamped until Monday at least...

Weg noticed that someone is proposing to make a Ray Bradbury short story into a movie, and hopes that they'll do it justice. I hope so too. Personally, I hate Bradbury with a passion, but he's done a few stories that I like, and one of them is A Sound of Thunder. Head on over to her place and read the background, plus she provides a link to the story online. It's a good read.

Moving from Science Fiction to science fact, the guys at Random Nuclear Strikes point the way to a nifty experiment in reality vs. Hollywood-reality. We've all seen the bit where the guy confronts a padlocked door or gate, whips out his pistol and, kapow!, removes the lock with a well-placed shot. Does it really work that way? Head on over to Life, Liberty, Etc. to read about the test and see pictures of the results. Way cool.

Rich puts up the best analysis of each episode of Survivor that I've seen on the net. I've never watched an episode, but his posts were good enough to know what was going on.

Meanwhile, the Ministry of Minor Perfidy has overplayed their hand and it's now obvious that they desire nothing less than world domination under Canadian financial control. A most excellent writer who began as a commenter, became a blogger, then returned to commenting only has now been assimilated into the MoMP collective. As such, the call has been put forth:

...think of clever and mildly (mildly!) deprecating snippets to include in the random list of capsule bios that appear under every minister’s name...

Take 'em up on their generous offer to mock Patton before you actually read any of his posts. It's the Democratic way!

Oops, almost forgot. Buckethead posted his take on the blogmeet/demolition derby we had last Saturday night.

Nic is posting uber-cool pictures!

Gotta run. See ya when I get a chance.

Posted by Ted at 05:41 AM | Comments (1)

May 18, 2005

Can I get an Amen?!

Michele:

News Editors need to dig deep into their values and go back to a place before news was a commodity; before news became earnings, ratings and subscriptions competition, to a place where a News Editor's role is once again that of a vanguard and protector of the truth. For that is what the American people want, and that is what our system of democracy demands.

There's more.

Posted by Ted at 11:31 AM | Comments (1)

First impressions

I haven't heard a whole lot so far, but I'm really beginning to like the music of Lisa Loeb.

Posted by Ted at 11:27 AM | Comments (3)

I needed a laugh this morning

And Gir provided not one, but two!

Posted by Ted at 11:17 AM | Comments (0)

May 17, 2005

Webpage Design Tip

When putting together your color pallete, don't forget that about 1 in 12 people who visit your site will be color blind.

Here's a good page with ideas on how to incorporate color blind awareness into your design.

Posted by Ted at 11:59 AM | Comments (2)

May 15, 2005

I Could Have Danced All Night (updated)

Sometimes when you get together with friends it doesn't matter what's going on, nothing is going to spoil a good time. Raging flood? Lash the cooler to a tree so the beer doesn't wash away. Alien invasion? Lash the cooler to a tree so the beer doesn't get captured. You get the idea.

Last night's get-together was just such an evening for me. Mookie, oldest-daughter Robyn and I arrived at the stadium to find Dawn already there. A few minutes later near simultaneous calls from Victor and Buckethead came in, letting us know that they were stuck in traffic but on the way.

We managed to get a block of seats, and when the game started an actual baseball game was just background to the great conversations going on all around. Altogether, it was Victor and Nic, Buckethead and his lovely wife and son (who was seeing his first ballgame), Dawn, Mookie, Robyn and myself.

The sky had been threatening for quite awhile, and the first wave of thunderstorms had missed us, but the second wave rolled in during the second inning. The groundscrew unrolled the tarps and everyone in the stands headed under cover while the lightning put on quite a show.

I have no idea how long we spent together, packed in with the rest of the crowd under the grandstands, waiting out the rain. It didn't look like it was going to end anytime soon, so we headed over to a restaurant for more great conversation over drinks, chips and guacamole.

Nic easily told the funniest story of the night, about recognizing people in old photographs. I'm still chuckling over that one. I'll add links to the others blogs if they give their version of events, because I very much skimmed over lots of what went on.

Damn people, lets do this again real soon. Saturday, June 25th is already marked on my calendar for another game.

Dawn tells her version here, it involves emperiled children, road rage, and a seriously screwed up back bumper.

Nic and Victor decided to get most of their adventures out of the way early in the evening.

I gotta tell you, Victor's is *much* bigger than mine. In fact, I'm a girly-man in comparison to the tool that Victor totes around.

Also, I'd like to thank Buckethead publicly for his foresight and wisdom. While buying souvenirs (jeez that word looks wrong, but the spell checker ok'd it), he picked up a miniature bat for his son, but thought of the potential for damage and put it back down. Instead they bought him a set of those inflatable thunder sticks. Later, his son whacked me right in the strike zone with it. Recap: thunder stick = hilarity; baseball bat = I might still be in the fetal position.

Posted by Ted at 08:34 AM | Comments (2)

May 13, 2005

Carnival of the Recipes is up

This week it's hosted by fellow-Munuvian Boudicca, who is automatically tres chic because she and I share the same birthday.*

So go visit, I've already noted several new dishes that go straight into my "to try" recipe binder.

*Better than some cheap parlor trick, that it happened is a statistical certainty! Look it up! Now. You're on the freakin' internet, get your lazy butt over to Google and look. It. Up. And if you ask me how to spell "statistical" I'll answer

"d...i...c...t...i...o...n...a...r...y".

Kids these days. Sheesh.

Posted by Ted at 12:02 PM | Comments (2)

Beautiful flowers

Photographed in a way you may have never seen before, by x-ray. Thanks to Lynn S for pointing this one out.

Posted by Ted at 04:16 AM | Comments (0)

May 12, 2005

Somebody's momma hated them

From Not Exactly Rocket Science, this Amazon list of unfortunately named authors. Funny stuff!

Posted by Ted at 07:09 PM | Comments (3)

Adjust your links

Who Tends the Fires has moved.

Posted by Ted at 06:27 PM | Comments (0)

Rocket Jones Blog Banner Contest - Time to Vote!

Stuck up top for a week, scroll down for new posts.

A month ago I wrote this:

Here's your chance to be creative. Design a banner for Rocket Jones. Drawing, painting, photography, simple, complex, I don't care. Enter as many as you'd like.

Then I mentioned voting for favorites and actual prizes and what not. Banners were thunked up, creativity was exercised, and links were tossed about with abandon.

They're all gathered in the extended entry (in no particular order) for your perusal. Some you've seen before, some were last minute arrivals, all are super-neato-keen. Check 'em out and vote for your favorite by leaving a comment.

Thank you.

pocket.gif

procheinamy_red.gif

roadsign.jpg

rockEteer.gif

procheinamy_rocket1.jpg

rjmunu_1.jpg

bordeauxbanner.jpg

rjmunu_2.jpg

Posted by Ted at 02:28 PM | Comments (27)

Gettin' My Groove On

One of the best things about my iPaq PDA is that I can use it as an MP3 player, and storage cards are coming down in price all the time, which means I can carry more music with me.

The frustrating part is that since it's not a dedicated music player, it only accepts the MP3 format. Now that wouldn't be a problem except that Windows Media Player - and most other equivalent apps - don't save CD's in MP3 format. So even though I've got hundreds of legally purchased CD's full of music, I couldn't download them to take with me.

Enter Quintessential Player. This is a completely free music player that does so much more, including ripping my music collection into the MP3 format that I must use. Lots of add-ons and extensions over and above the already impressive list of standard features. If you're tired of dealing with Windows Media Player (eh) or Real Player (barf), give this one a try. So far I'm loving it!

Now I need more (and bigger) storage cards.

Posted by Ted at 11:34 AM | Comments (0)

Scale (updated)

Here's a group of illustrations that show the myriad types of Star Trek spacecraft together, showing relative size.

Update: I missed this before, but if you scroll down, there are 3-view silhouette recognition charts and more.

Posted by Ted at 11:25 AM | Comments (2)

May 10, 2005

Yeah, kinda like that!

You've got this mental picture of all these different bloggers you read every day, and then you get a chance to meet them face to face, and they look totally different than what you've imagined, but they're still wonderful anyway and you have a great time and can't wait for the next chance to get together again...

Mookie and I went to see Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy last night.

Posted by Ted at 06:12 AM | Comments (4)

May 09, 2005

Swiss Army Knife

Handy in so many ways, I can't understand how people have gotten away from carrying a knife. I have a Swiss Army, the Fisherman model, that goes with me everywhere, and I've given smaller versions to the girls as gifts.

Here's a dandy guide to "The Care and Feeding of the Swiss Army Knife". Good information here, whether you're looking to buy or already have one.

Posted by Ted at 12:10 PM | Comments (10)

Fractured Fairy and other Tales

I found this incredible tribute to Stan Freberg (thanks Ti!). Some of you may be asking yourself, "who?" Go read, because you know him, you just might not realize that you know him.

A brief bio and more can be found here.

Oh my darlin'. Oh my darlin'. Oh my daaaaaaarlin' Clementine...

Posted by Ted at 05:42 AM | Comments (0)

May 08, 2005

For Debbye

My favorite "fierce American" expressed surprise at the lack of hockey-related logos in the banner contest. So I'll put Maurice "Rocket" Richard (pronounced Ree-shard) up top for awhile. From his bio pages:

Richard became the NHL's first 50-goal shooter in 1944-45. This feat was accomplished in 50 games, a performance that wouldn't be equaled until Mike Bossy did it in 1980-81.

Now you shouldn't confuse him with a later legend who also played for the Montreal Canadiens, Henri Richard. For you heathens who don't know who "Pocket Rocket" Richard is:

The only individual to have his name on the Stanley Cup 11 times as a player. Incredibly, he played on a Stanley Cup winner in more than half the seasons he played.

More on his career here.

Posted by Ted at 08:45 AM | Comments (2)

May 06, 2005

Baseball Meetup

Just a reminder and an invitation to join us at the Potomac Nationals baseball game on the evening of May 14th. Here's your chance to see the future of the Washington Nationals, put some faces to blogger names, and there will be fireworks afterwards too.

Hope to see you there!

Already expressing interest:

Mookie (and at least my wife and one other kid)
Goddess Dawn
Nic of Shoes, Ships & Sealing Wax
Victor of Publius & Co.
Buckethead (and family) of the Ministry of Minor Perfidy
Newlyweds Rob & Big Hair from L&R

Details, details: The game starts at 7pm, and the ticket office opens at noon. Rob suggested the $10 box seats which looks to be right down on the field. I was thinking Section 3 of reserved seating ($9) because it might be easier to get a group of seats together there. What say you? Either works for me.

Directions and stadium map are here.

Posted by Ted at 05:29 AM | Comments (6)

May 04, 2005

Way past obsession, nearing career territory

Thanks to Victor, a link to a movie ad parody: Zombies make movies.

I think the undead chick is pretty darned hot.

Posted by Ted at 10:15 AM | Comments (0)

Not zombies, but still a monster

Over at SilverBlue (who has moved, let linkage adjustment commence), we are treated to this wonderful bit of fun:

The Top 15 Signs You Are Worshipping GodZILLA, Not God

15> Less smiting, more biting!

14> Every single story in the Old Testament ends with God destroying a city.

13> You insist that every courthouse display a copy of 10 instructions for destroying Tokyo.

12> Your hymnal is copyrighted by Blue Oyster Cult.

11> You’re expected to build a cross big enough for crucifying Godzuki.

10> You issue a fatwa for jihad on Mechagodzilla.

9> The whole “Bambi is Satan” thing should have been a big tip-off.

8> His sole commandment: Thou shalt run screaming through the streets.

7> Every time you kneel to pray, your Lord steps on you.

6> Golden calf? No response.
Sacrificial lamb? Not even a twitch.
Passenger train full of screaming Japanese passengers? Bingo!

5> The sermon is lovely, but Reverend Takoshi’s words are out of sync with his lips.

4> Instead of a communion wafer, you’re supposed to eat Tokyo.

3> Recently chosen Pope Megalon XVI crushes all attempts to alter church doctrine.

2> You just spent $20,000 on eBay for the Virgin Mothra stuffed calzone.

and Topfive.com’s Number 1 Sign You Are Actually Worshipping GodZILLA…

1> That thing about keeping the temple’s lamps lit for eight days with no oil? Not a problem.

I posted the whole thing, but he posts good jokes and photos often, so you should visit him regularly.

Posted by Ted at 09:43 AM | Comments (1)

Sky on Fire, Earth on Fire

Not one, but two nifty internet places to visit from Iceland, land of geothermal energy.

Yay!

Posted by Ted at 07:39 AM | Comments (2)

May 03, 2005

One for Mookie

Zombie Prom, the off-broadway musical.

Sometimes the synergy of this ol' world is frightening.

Posted by Ted at 06:10 AM | Comments (1)

May 02, 2005

Out-of-context Quote of the Day

From Ace:

I didn't know a girl-on-girl tickling scene with Andie MacDowell could be so... disturbing.

A couple of things here. First, I was busy on the computer when the movie being talked about came on. When I realized something other than music was playing in the background, it took me a few minutes to realize that the character was supposed to be "special". She acted exactly like Rosie O'Donnell always acts. Loud and obnoxious.

Secondly, Andie MacDowell is an actress that I cannot stand. She was marginal in Groundhog Day, but I think she became irrevocably dead to me after her performance in Michael.

"Pie. Pie. Me oh my..."

Posted by Ted at 11:28 AM | Comments (0)

May 01, 2005

Prom Picture

As promised, a photo of my daughter Rachael (aka Mookie) before heading out to prom.

(in the extended entry)

all this and brains too

Posted by Ted at 02:57 PM | Comments (6)

April 30, 2005

Better'n Special Effects

From Murdoc Online, these pictures of a sandstorm in Iraq, about to engulf an airbase. Incredible.

Posted by Ted at 08:51 PM | Comments (0)

April 29, 2005

Helpful Reader Email

Sir Knight kindly sent an email that mentioned this Rocket Jones review of Revolt of the Zombies, which he found "when I was googling around for zombies + Cambodia".

How cool is that?

Well, he also sent along a link which talks about a real zombie problem they're having in Cambodia.

You read that right.

Many thanks to Sir Knight for that link. May your maidens be fair, your sword always sharp, and your dragons French.

Note: Because links eventually expire and this one is too good to lose, I've reprinted the entire article in the extended entry (without permission).

Cambodian Troops Quarantine Quan'sul

BBC news - Last Updated: Monday, 25 April, 2005, 17:00 GMT 18:00 UK

There has been a small outbreak of “zombism” in a small town near the border of Laos in North-Eastern Cambodia.
The culprit was discovered to be mosquitoes native to that region carrying a new strain of Malaria which thus far has a 100 percent mortality rating killing victims in fewer than 2 days.

After death, this virus is able to restart the heart of it’s victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believe to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during “resurrection.”

Cambodian officials say that the outbreak has been contained and the public has no need to worry.

General Ary Serey had this to say, "We have obtained samples of this new virus and plan to learn how it starts the heart and other major organs of the deceased. We intend to use this to increase the quality of life for all."

US Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice opposed the plan saying that the Cambodian government holds a great biological weapon and should destroy it immediately. Cambodian officials have yet to comment.

A United Nations team will be dispatched to Cambodia to confirm the safety of biological research in Cambodia.

[BBC must be Cambodian for Weekly World News - RJ]

Posted by Ted at 11:55 AM | Comments (2)

April 27, 2005

Global Warming is caused by Environmental Activism

Found this over at Q and O:

"If we had simply built all the [nuclear power] plants that were in the pipeline at the time of Three Mile Island, then we would have reduced current coal combustion sufficiently to satisfy the Kyoto treaty." -- Peter Huber

Read about it.

Posted by Ted at 05:09 AM | Comments (10)

April 26, 2005

The Blight is back

Kelley is posting again after a long hiatus.

Yay!

Posted by Ted at 11:23 AM | Comments (2)

April 25, 2005

A couple of quickie links

Shank is a sometime commenter here, and he keeps an interesting blog, The Reluctant Werewolf. It's full of fun anecdotes and unconventional wisdom.

Like this:

At work, we employ some Musical Therapists. Basically, they go around the oncology wards and such - places where people are pretty sick and face a depressing prognosis - and kind of help them become comfortable. They play music and sing and shit like that. Lots of patients and families really appreciate that kind of thing, but it's a little too new agey for me. So I'm going to make fun of it.

That's just the opening paragraph of a pretty funny post. He's always worth a visit, especially for his insights on the wedding-planning process, which he's also going through.

Rob and Carol have just gone through the wedding-planning process, followed by the wedding process and now the honeymoon process. Stop by their place at Left & Right and go through the comment process to wish 'em a big congrats. They're due back today.

This next blog, The Smoking Toaster, defies classification. Your pal, Bitterman, is the author and holds forth on everything from the pussyfication of the classic Dodge Daytona muscle cars to topical humor. Added to the mix is some pretty good photography from the Bay Area. He's a smartass, but too on-the-ball to be a dumbass. He's a daily read for me.

LeeAnn is the CheeseMistress of Munuviana and Queen of the evolving banner. She also offered up some living will suggestions. These are my favorites:

3. If I am unable to recognize or interact with friends or family members, I still expect gifts.

4. If I am unable to feed, clean, or dress myself, I would like to be referred to as "Mr. Trump."

There's more cheesy goodies at her place, each and almost every day.

More daily reads:

Stephen at Hold the Mayo. He's got his act together, so I don't have to.

That's an example of stealing an advertising slogan that doesn't quite fit.

Debbye, the Fierce American, is my main source of Canadian news. I guess I'm typically clueless about our northern neighbors because, well, there are plenty of domestic nitwits to deal with (and no, I'm not saying *all* Canadians are nitwits).

Finally, just because:

Boudicca.

Paul.

Random Nuclear Strikes.


Posted by Ted at 05:37 AM | Comments (5)

April 24, 2005

The new logo up top right

Frinklin pointed out this new blog devoted to sports team logos (talk about a niche audience). Since I like pretty pictures, I clicked through and found his latest poll on best team logo. I gotta tell you, I'm torn between the Dallas Derby Devils and the Rose City Rollers. They're both killer designs.

Posted by Ted at 12:56 PM | Comments (0)

April 23, 2005

Good writing is

I've told you about the McCovey Chronicles before, and I'm telling you again. Grant can flat out write, and he's funny as hell too.

Here's a recent gem, about something he saw at the San Fransisco Giants site:

The Budweiser Clydesdale horses will be on display near SBC Park on Friday (3-10 p.m. PT) and Saturday (11 a.m to 6 p.m. PT) in parking lot A across from the Lefty O'Doul bridge.

And his response:

The horses are a constant reminder that Budweiser tastes like something you'd milk from a horse.

He also links to blogs from many other teams, so if you don't know of one for yours, chances are he's the guy to see.

Fer instance, who knew about the Orioles Warehouse?

Posted by Ted at 08:42 AM | Comments (0)

Daniel's "Five Things" Meme

Five things that people are wild about that I just don't get.

1. Washington Redskins - I never really disliked the Redskins until I moved into the area. Every year it's the same thing, instead of eternal optimism like Chicago Cubs fans display, the Skins fans are arrogant as hell. Right up until the moment they admit to themselves that they suck. Again.

2. Drinking - My parents were social drinkers, and I grew up knowing what beer and various liquors tasted like. I'm not anti-drinking, but I seldom think to myself, "a scotch would taste good right about now". We've always got alcohol in the house, but some of it's pretty damn old. If we go out somewhere I'll occasionally get a beer with dinner, but it's not something I do very often for some unknown reason.

3. TV - I watch very little, mostly hockey and football. If that's not on, I'll switch over to a music channel (Sirius, the satellite radio stations) and leave it on in the background. Very occasionally I'll catch an ad for something on the History Channel that I'd like to see, and sometimes I'll even remember and make a point of watching it. Other than that, eh.

4. SUV's - There are some who legitimately require 4-wheel drive and off-road capability. Medical personnel in the winter come to mind, or someone who lives way back in the country. But the soccer moms and Joe Commuter have as much need for a Cadillac Escalade as a tank needs a kickstand. They're a fad people, and you're certainly free to drive one. But they don't make you special, they don't allow you to drive as if the roads aren't wet/snowy/icy, and I hope you're going freakin' broke pumping $2.50/gallon gas into it every third day.

5. New Movies - I can't remember the last time I went to a movie theater to see a movie. I rarely hear of a movie that fires my interest enough to even remember it, let alone want to see it. Mostly I'll scan the movies for the week and I'll see something I remember being a megahit some months back, and then I'll set the Tivo to record it. Eventually I'll watch it. Maybe.

Looking back over these five, I really come across as an anti-social bastard. I think that a better explanation is that I'm pretty easy-going, so if there's something I "don't get", it's annoying enough to be a peeve.

Here are Daniel's lists.

Wanna run with this? Go for it and let me know and I'll post a link to yours.

Posted by Ted at 04:32 AM | Comments (4)

April 20, 2005

I think I'm a funny guy

There's a short list of people on the 'net that make me green with envy amuse the hell out of me, and Anna is one of them.

Primal Purge is back.

Posted by Ted at 06:38 PM | Comments (0)

I hate ranch dressing, but you might not

This week's Top Secret Recipe is for Hidden Valley Original Ranch Dressing. It's only up for the week, so if you want it, grab it now.

I thought the background story was kinda neat:

Indeed, ranch dressing was invented at Hidden Valley Ranch near Santa Barbara, California, by a real salad-wranglin' rancher. In the '50s and '60s Steve Henson and his wife, Gayle, shared their 120-acre dude ranch with University of California at Santa Barbara students and other festive partiers for rousing weekend shindigs. The dozens of guests were serve meals of steaks and salads topped with Steve's special blend of herbs, spices, mayonnaise and buttermilk. As word got out about the fabulous dressing more guests were showing up at the ranch and walking home with complimentary take-home jars filled with the stuff. Eventually Steve figured he could make a little cash on the side by packaging the dressing as a dry mix and selling it through the mail. At first he was filling envelopes himself, but within a few months Steve had to hire 12 more people to help with the packaging. Soon Steve had a multi-million dollar business on his hands, from a product that for 10 years he had been giving away for free.

Dude ranch. Cowboy. Steak. Buttermilk. Don't mind me, just settin' out some Google-bait.

Posted by Ted at 12:13 PM | Comments (1)

April 19, 2005

So over the top, but I couldn't stop laughing

Thanks to Random Nuclear Strikes for pointing the way to this... I have no idea how to describe it, other than rude, crude and hilariously funny.

Posted by Ted at 06:12 AM | Comments (2)

Banner Contest Reminder

Remember?

Derek and Amy have already entered.

Posted by Ted at 05:07 AM | Comments (3)

April 18, 2005

New and Improved!

It was only a matter of time:

"Each year, 15 million cases of bacterial food poisoning originate in U.S. home kitchens, resulting in nausea, diarrhea, fever, and even death," read a press release French's issued Monday. "Now, lunch doesn't have to endanger your health! All-new French's Antibacterial Mustard is the perfect way to add flavor to, and subtract harmful disease-causing bacteria from, your family's favorite meals!"

Coming to a television near you:

"Approximately 9,000 deaths per year are attributed to foodborne pathogens, and the most germ-filled location in the house is the kitchen," a woman says as computer-generated footage zooms in to show worm-like spirochete bacteria multiplying on a slice of bologna. "Normal mustards do nothing to combat the germs that begin forming on meats and cheeses as soon as they're taken out of the refrigerator. But an hour after spreading on our powerful French's Antibacterial Mustard, your lunch is still free of everything but zesty mustard taste!"

Not really. It's the Onion.

Posted by Ted at 12:13 PM | Comments (0)

The Jamboree is over

Click here for Jamboree info!

The AHL season concludes today and playoffs begin shortly. Hopefully next year we can cheer for NHL teams once again.

Here's the list of players, thanks to all of you for playing:

Albany River Rats - Victor
Lowell Lock Monsters - Kin
Binghamton Senators - Dr Funk
Bridgeport Sound Tigers - Spork
Portland Pirates - Nic
Hershey Bears - Derek
Worcester IceCats - Heather
Wilkes-Barre / Scranton Penguins - Catt
Cleveland Barons - Ted
Hamilton Bulldogs - Cindy
Manitoba Moose - Gir
Houston Aeros - Matt
Rochester Americans - GEBIV
Milwaukee Admirals - Brian J & Frinklin
Utah Grizzlies - Jenn

For those who don't know what this is all about, the simple rules are here.

If you didn't play this year, you're welcome to join us next year for the Third Annual Hockey Whoopass Jamboree. Not interested? What have you got against tradition?

Posted by Ted at 12:09 PM | Comments (5)

April 13, 2005

Holy Koran - PDA version

Many formats (scroll down to find one compatible with your handheld).

While you're at it, this might interest you as well: Towards Understanding Islam.

I am a serious ebook junkie.

Posted by Ted at 06:08 PM | Comments (0)

A little dressed is sexier than naked, but there are limits

View the latest fashions in Amish swimwear. Safe for work. Safe for the Vatican.

Forgot where I found this. Sorry.

Posted by Ted at 05:45 AM | Comments (3)

April 12, 2005

SimTerror '05

I talked about this a few months ago, but it was postponed due to the tragic tsunami that swept through that part of the world.

It's going on now. Check out the unfolding events at Silent Running.

Posted by Ted at 08:52 PM | Comments (0)

Wanna be one of the cool kids?

The Spacemonkey has had an amazing response when he offered up Gmail invites for the asking. And since I'm nothing if not derivitive, I'll extend the same deal.

Leave a comment asking for a Gmail invite, and I'll send one to you. How's that for complicating your life?

Posted by Ted at 11:41 AM | Comments (5)

April 11, 2005

Astronomy Blog

Check out Tom's Astronomy Blog for news and bits about the science of looking up. Cool pictures too.

Posted by Ted at 08:13 PM | Comments (0)

April 07, 2005

24

Not the TV series, and not the number of the greatest baseball player of all time (Willie Mays), but the number of a race car.

NASCAR's number 24 has a new prime sponsor: Bourdreaux's Butt Paste.

The driver is Kim Crosby. I don't follow NASCAR, is she the only female on the circuit? Anyways, it's like Stroker Ace come to life.

Thanks to McQ at Q&O for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 11:45 AM | Comments (3)

Purty Pitchers

We have entries in the Rocket Jones Banner Contest!

Go check 'em out (yep, it's another linkevent).

Derek, who names computers after dairy products.

Amy, who is flamboyantly and extravagantly carnivorous.

These are wonderful and I can't wait to see what you come up with. Yes, you.

Posted by Ted at 06:09 AM | Comments (4)

We've been known to smoke it too

Lynn S posts this hilarious conversation between God and St. Francis.

Subject? Yardwork.

Yips to the Llamas for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 04:25 AM | Comments (0)

April 06, 2005

Happy 3rd!!!

Brian J. Noggle celebrated his 3rd blog anniversary yesterday.

Why aren't you a Munuvian?

Posted by Ted at 12:25 PM | Comments (2)

Sugarcult

Kicks ass.

Posted by Ted at 06:12 AM | Comments (1)

Yay!

That's the official Munuvian greeting and expression of joy. Find a fiver on the ground? Yay! Your team is playing like they're unbeatable? Yay! Girlfriend comes home from a bachelorette party half-sloshed, horny as hell and arm in arm with her bisexual college roommate? Well, duh. Yay!

Like I said: expression of joy.

But it's also the official Munuvian greeting. So go visit these latest residents and if they've bothered to post something, leave 'em a Yay! in the comments.

Rhymes With Right
Possumblog
Something for the Weekend
Seven Inches of Sense
Stolen Beauty
View from the Pew
A Swift Kick and A Bandaid
Professor Chaos
Cal Tech Girl's World

Tell 'em Ted sent ya.

Posted by Ted at 05:10 AM | Comments (3)

April 05, 2005

Not Disabled Enough

Un-freakin-believable!

Ms. Wheelchair Wisconsin has been stripped of her title because pageant officials say she can stand — and point to a newspaper picture as proof.

Janeal Lee, who has muscular dystrophy and uses a scooter, was snapped by The Post-Crescent newspaper standing among her high school math students. The photo was not an expose.

Standing. Not walking or bowling or skating or running track, she was standing.

“I’ve been made to feel as if I can’t represent the disabled citizens of Wisconsin because I’m not disabled enough,” Lee said Thursday.

Well honey, your feelings are right on the mark, because that's *exactly* why they booted you. Count your blessings that you don't have to deal with those politically correct nitwits any more. Why do I say "politically correct"?

Candidates for the crown have to “mostly be seen in the public using their wheelchairs or scooters,” said Judy Hoit, Ms. Wheelchair America’s treasurer. “Otherwise you’ve got women who are in their wheelchairs all the time and they get offended if they see someone standing up. We can’t have title holders out there walking when they’re seen in the public.”

Yep, can't offend the real crips. You know, the ones who are disabled enough. And of course we all know who gets blamed for this farce:

Hackel said Lee should have been aware of the rules.

You knew it was coming. It's her own damn fault.

I wonder if Miss Black America ever got bounced because her skin wasn't dark enough?

Posted by Ted at 05:02 PM | Comments (3)

Turning two - a second time

Rand Simberg of Transterrestrial Musings provides pointers to these nifty sites:

Google Maps - in about 5 minutes I zoomed to a map of my street, and then with one click of a button got a fairly detailed satellite image.

Economics in One Lesson - the classic by Henry Hazlitt, now available online.

Posted by Ted at 12:36 PM | Comments (1)

Turning the double play

Over at Frinklin Speaks, we're treated to two funny links:

Superman is a Dick

The Old Negro Space Program (a film not by Ken Burns)

Just what I needed this morning.

Posted by Ted at 04:59 AM | Comments (0)

April 03, 2005

Rob is wise, you should listen to Rob

Rob said that Springtime doesn't officially come to DC until the manhole covers start to explode.

He's right.

Posted by Ted at 07:41 PM | Comments (1)

April 02, 2005

Plenty of scumbaggery to go around it seems

Via Sarah, I see where the poor saintly parents of Terri Schaivo have agreed to sell the list of names of everyone who supported their cause to a direct-mailing company.

Assholes.

Posted by Ted at 08:23 PM | Comments (4)

Funny Stuff, and now he's gone

Mitch Hedberg passed away. You can find more at The Ministry of Minor Perfidy, but for now I'll just leave you with some of his jokes that I shamelessly stole from the Ministry. They had me laughing out loud.

I got an ant farm. Them fellas didn’t grow shit.

Last week I helped my friend stay put. It’s a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load shit into a truck.

I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others.

I had a stick of Carefree gum, but it didn’t work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.

I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. “Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Boy, you really like Tide.”

I got in an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That’s a bad place for an argument, because I tried to walk out, and had to slam the flap.

I type a 101 words a minute. But it’s in my own language.

I don’t have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who’d be mad at me for saying that.

I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it.

I was walking down the street with my friend and he said “I hear music.” As if there’s any other way to take it in.

At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said “Certainly.” He said “Do I need to dial 9?” I say “Yeah. Especially if it’s in the number. You can try four and five back to back real quick.”

My lucky number is four billion. That doesn’t come in real handy when you’re gambling. “Come on, four billion! Fuck. Seven. I need more dice.”

I love blackjack. But I’m not addicted to gambling. I’m addicted to sitting in a semi circle.

I don’t own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time.

I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.

The thing about tennis is: no matter how much I play, I’ll never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once. They’re fucking relentless.

I would imagine if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.

I went to the park and saw this kid flying a kite. The kid was really excited. I don’t know why, that’s what they’re supposed to do. Now if he had had a chair on the other end of that string, I would have been impressed.

Posted by Ted at 08:03 PM | Comments (1)

To those who clicked that button yesterday

They didn't reach their goal at the comment-a-thon for Breast Cancer yesterday, but the important thing is the effort. Thanks everyone, it's appreciated.

Posted by Ted at 08:53 AM | Comments (2)

April 01, 2005

Today is the day

Please click on the pink button at the top right corner of this page. Go there and leave a comment. It's easy and it'll do some good, and this ol' world could use all the good we can dish out.

Pass the word too. This is a one-day comment-a-thon.

Thanks.

(this post will remain at the top of the page all day, scroll down for new postings)

Posted by Ted at 11:59 PM | Comments (2)

March 30, 2005

Out-of-context Quote of the Day

From Boudicca:

my husband's family are knife wielding bunny cutters

:D

Posted by Ted at 12:54 PM | Comments (2)

Carfax fun

Ptiza is looking to buy a car, so she ponied up the bucks for a month of unlimited Carfax. Smart move, and we do the same when we're in the market.

But Ptiza's creative genius had me laughing my ass off when she combines unlimited Carfax and eBay auto auctions into a hilarious blog post.

Be careful, for her wit is sharp and the edge drips acid.

Posted by Ted at 06:07 AM | Comments (16)

Happy Birthday

Today is Cindy's birthday. If you feel so inclined, head on over to Dusting My Brain and wish her a happy. While you're there, check out the Ken & Squip Show, which is a weekly podcast they do.

Posted by Ted at 05:51 AM | Comments (1)

March 29, 2005

I have seen no evidence of this (darn it)

According to Mookie's friend's sister-in-law's sister's friend's coworker, our town is the Swinger's Capital of the East Coast.

Good enough for Dan Rather.

Posted by Ted at 08:25 PM | Comments (0)

Not worry free, but getting there

Over at Dustbury I saw an interesting snippet about changes in the 401(k) rules. Glancing over them quickly, I can see where they'll benefit a lot of people, if they're smart enough to take advantage.

The company I work for has an incredibly generous matching plan, and I was really surprised to learn just how few of the younger employees are taking advantage. We've always tried to beat it into our kid's thick skulls instill in our children the idea that you have to treat savings like a bill. Pay into it once a month at least and leave it the hell alone. It'll add up fast. We were mostly successful. Oldest daughter bought her first two cars herself and Mookie purchased her own PC when offered yet another hand-me-down model.

My plan comes in two parts: upon retirement I live simply and long enough to have to learn to like the cheap dogfood.

Posted by Ted at 11:45 AM | Comments (2)

March 28, 2005

When Dorks Collide

Rejected titles:

  • When Dorks Attack!

  • It's a dork, dork, dork, dork, dork world!

  • Dorks gone wild

It's a knock-down drag-out dork-o-rama over at The Ministry of Minor Perfidy.

Round 1.
Round 2.
Round 3.

It's not pretty, but it is pretty damn funny.

Posted by Ted at 12:45 PM | Comments (1)

New Blog Showcase

Before I knew what blogs were, I found Rachel Lucas. I googled "girls with guns" or some such nonsense and her site popped up. I read, and I was hooked. She's since retired her original place and resurfaced as the Blue-eyed Infidel, minus the internal censor and even more chock full of Ranty McRant opining.

Anyways, in honor of the very first blog I myself ever discovered, I've decided that the theme for this edition of the New Blog Showcase will be creepy floating baby heads.

Enjoy.


cfbh4sm.gif

Let's kick this off with a trip in the ol' wayback machine to a time when every toy we played with was dangerous and deadly. How in the world did we ever survive? Could it be that only the brightest of us did? *thinks about recent headlines* Nahhhh. Thanks to Melinama at Pratie Place for reminding me of that simpler if seemingly less-safe time.

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Welcome to Hermitville, a mostly fictional collection of monologues and observations. I was going to include a sample here, but couldn't decide on just one snippet. This crab can write!

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aTypical Joe chimes in with I say eat him. This is a very nicely designed blog, so I say read him (is there an echo in here?)

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Michael Minton is an experienced blogger who recently started The Gunner's Corner. He's going to focus on news with a conservative slant. According to the creepy floating baby head, you must go check it out.

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Scared Monkeys is two guys represented by the "see no, hear no, speak no" icon. Get it? Two guys... three monkeys? Nope, me either. Anyway, they invite you to drop in and read their take on a major US news media outlet. I notice that they don't promise to not fling poo at you. So, are you feeling lucky punk?

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The masthead at The Nose On Your Face reads "News so fake you'll swear it came from the mainstream media". If you like your news with a hint of onion and with a heaping side of satire, then this might be your new daily special. Don't miss the "Top 9" list either. No hints, just go.

hooah!

This next new blog is written by a reservist currently stationed in Iraq. Firstly, please accept my thanks for your service to our country, and pass those thanks on to your troops as well. Secondly, if the rest of you have ever wondered what the heck all that "hooah" business is about, well, Mustang 23 has the complete word. I almost forgot to mention that the name of his place is Assumption of Command, and if you hover your mouse over his creepy floating baby head (on your left... your military left) then you'll see that the enthusiasm starts young.

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Atlas Shrugged is another blog taking on today's big issues, and Pamela has started a very nice weekly roundup op-ed series. I note again that she does not promise to not fling poo at you. Hooah! (I really need to get some sleep.)

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Last but certainly not least is a very new blog called Constructive Ideas, with some intriguing analysis of our educational system from an angle that hasn't occurred to me before. He writes under the moniker of 'Positive' from the state of Florida. Did you know that Florida has the highest incidence of lightning ground-strikes in the world? That's something pilots and steely-eyed missile men know.


Every blogger started somewhere, and those first few weeks are the hardest of all as you try to build up your momentum. Check out these newest members of the blogging community, leave a comment and some encouragement, and you just might discover a new daily read. That might not be enough reason for some of you. Fair enough.

Do it for the creepy floating baby heads.


Mandatory informational type goodies:
Do you have a weblog that's been open for less than three months? To join the Showcase and get the word out, send an email to showcase.carnival@gmail.com with the following info:

* The name of your blog
* The title of the post
* The url of the post
* Your name

Or use the Multi-Carnival Entry Form.

Catch previous Showcases and volunteer to host new ones at the Showcase Home.

Posted by Ted at 05:05 AM | Comments (3)

March 24, 2005

Is no tradition sacred?

Even in that most tradition-ridden culture, Japan, the influence of modernization creeps ever closer...

A tussle has broken out in Japan's tradition-bound sumo world over the right to wear pants in the ring.

Sacrelege!

Gargantuan sumo wrestlers generally compete naked but for a "mawashi," an arrangement of wrapped cloth that preserves a bare minimum of modesty.

Sumo's amateur association hit upon the idea of allowing shy youngsters to wear "sumo pants," a more substantial garment similar to cycling shorts, to try to boost the dwindling numbers of children taking up the sport, the daily Yomiuri Shimbun said on Thursday.

What's next? A kabuki version of Gigli? I'm no hidebound stick in the mud, but you have to draw the line somewhere.

And if they start allowing pants, well, I'll just have to forego my career in Sumo. I already had a great name picked out too: Yomama.

Posted by Ted at 11:58 AM | Comments (3)

It's part of the job

Mookie was scheduled to host the New Blog Showcase this week, but instead zoomed off for the beach for Spring Break (I can totally understand that). So to cover for her, I'll be hosting the Showcase here on Rocket Jones on Monday, and Mookie will host one in the future.

Send submissions for the Showcase to:

showcase -dot- carnival -at- gmail -dot- com

Thanks!

Update: Around this place, confusion doesn't reign, it pours!

Posted by Ted at 05:45 AM | Comments (0)

March 23, 2005

Neat

Didja know that The Onion has a PDA compatible site?

Now you do.

Posted by Ted at 12:13 PM | Comments (0)

It's "Doo-maaaahhhh", dumbass.

Alexandre Dumas was an incredibly prolific writer, best known for his "The Three Musketeers". A lost work of his that was published in serial form in a French newspaper will be released in June.

The 900-page book appeared in serial form in a French newspaper and lacked just a few chapters when Dumas died in 1870. Claude Schopp, the Dumas specialist who made the discovery, has added a short section to bring the tale to its conclusion.

The story was discovered almost ten years ago, and it's existance has been kept secret while being made ready for publication. The title is "Le Chevalier de Sainte-Hermine" (The Knight of Saint-Hermine).

In typical Dumas fashion, his characters are inserted into real history, and this time the lead character is involved in the Battle of Trafalgar.

I'm looking forward to this one.

Posted by Ted at 06:08 AM | Comments (0)

Retro, but not safe for work

This is one of the coolest sites I've seen on the net, just for the implementation of the interface. The vintage pinups don't hurt either. Click and drag the pages to turn them.

Thanks to Rodger for pointing this one out.

PS. When you go to look (and I really urge you to do so), turn up your speakers and enjoy the background music too. This is a really well-done site.

Posted by Ted at 05:09 AM | Comments (5)

March 22, 2005

Faces of the Fallen

A new tribute has been opened at Arlington National Cemetary, outside of Washington, D.C.

"Faces of the Fallen," 1,327 individual portraits of the dead produced by 200 artists, opens to the public Wednesday at Arlington National Cemetery.

The images, each 6-by-8 inches, are mounted on plain steel rods that reach to near eye level. Each rod includes a label with the soldier's name, hometown and date of death.

The display does not include every soldier who've given their life to date.

The artists worked mostly from newspaper and Internet photos, and some sent by families of the dead.

One particularly poignant portrait was done by John R. Phelps, a Vietnam veteran chosen to design the World War II memorial in Lander, Wyo. He painted his son, Marine Pfc. Clarence Phelps, who died April 9 from head wounds.

The artists, who donated their time and paid for all the materials, plan to give the portraits to the families when the exhibit is over, Polan said.

The memorial will be on display until September 5th, and admission is free.

Posted by Ted at 11:39 AM | Comments (0)

Spacked upside with the meme-stick

From Stephen at Hold the Mayo.

You're stuck inside Fahrenheit 451, which book do you want to be?
Green Eggs and Ham, Sam I am.

Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?
The only one I can think of that might apply is Corson, from the series Silverglass. She's a strong, stubborn, cagey sword-for-hire. I'd never be bored around her, and there's more to her than a pretty face and a sharp edge. Here's the cover illustration of her from the cover of the first book of the series: Corson (big graphic image).

The last book you bought is:
Tamales 101.

The last book you read:
I just finished rereading P.J. O'Rourke's Eat the Rich.

What are you currently reading?
Sams Teach Yourself PHP in 24 Hours, Third Edition

Five books you would take to a deserted island.

Hmmmm... I could read these over and over (and have). I'm shallow... deal.

1. Job: A Comedy of Justice. Heinlein. My all-time favorite book.
2. Starship Troopers. Heinlein. My all-time favorite book that isn't listed above.
3. Team Yankee. Coyle. War fiction. Love it.
4. Any anthology of H.P. Lovecraft. The closest thing to mind-altering drugs without involving actual drugs.
5. The Lord of The Rings. Complex and rich in texture, this is a story you can spend years understanding. Not one of my all-time favorites, but I'm thinking about whiling away many hours with this one.

Who are you going to pass this stick to (3 persons) and why?

Nic, who always has something interesting to say, even when she claims she's being trite.

Rob, who also goes to concerts at King's Dominion, and I don't hear from often enough.

Oorgo, another guy who has interesting opinions, even when we disagree.

Amy, because I have counting issues and her cute toes would've come in handy right about now. Besides, she only does one meme on her blog and I'm a sucker for rejection.

Posted by Ted at 06:03 AM | Comments (4)

Look at the funny man

A humorous look at President Bush contrasted with Senator Kerry, in pictures.

Thanks to Transterrestrial Musings for pointing it out.

Posted by Ted at 05:24 AM | Comments (2)

March 21, 2005

The banner up top

What it's all about:

On January 11, 2005, Greg Hammond hosted a comment based fundraiser on his blog, http://www.californiahammonds.com. The fundraiser was in memory of his lovely wife, Cheryl, who lost her battle with breast cancer after more than 5 years of fighting. The proceeds from the fundraiser totaled $2,846 and were donated to the National Breast Cancer Foundation's education and screening programs.

The fundraiser worked by spreading the word of the need for donations and asking those who heard about it to please leave a comment on his blog. Sponsors pledged money for certain numbers of comments. For example, Greg himself donated $1 for each of the first 500 comments. A different sponsor donated $1 for each of the first 50. The another donated $1 for the 50 following those. And on and on.

On April 1, 2005, the one year anniversary of Cheryl's death, Greg plans to host another fundraiser. Again, the proceeds will go to the National Breast Cancer Foundation's education and screening programs, and the format of comments and sponsors will remain the same.

You can get more information here. Please consider clicking the banner and leaving a comment on April 1st.

Thanks to Tricia for pointing this one out and asking me to help.

Posted by Ted at 12:32 PM | Comments (1)

Whiny little bitches... bitch

I dunno Jennifer, apparently I don't have the knack for adding "bitch" to the end of every sentence... bitch.

See? Oh well.

Anyways, I get these emails griping about how the contest "wasn't fair" and "I didn't make it clear" and other crap like that.

I won't kid you and claim that I care. But I do see some possibilities here.

So, here's what we'll do. I won't name names (you know who you are), but I invite Rocket Jones readers to. Leave a guess in the comments about who you think sent me a complaint about the contest and results, and say something snarky about them. This has the potential to be hugely entertaining and I won't be happy unless we see at least three flame-filled linkwars started... bitch.

Hey, maybe I'm getting the hang of this!

Posted by Ted at 04:14 AM | Comments (2)

March 20, 2005

Food for that Hockey monkey

The Hockey Hall of Fame website is a nifty place to visit. For instance:

One Game Wonders

Brief bios of all the players who managed but a single game in the NHL. Don Cherry, the player, coach and hockey icon is on this list. Way cool.

The Players

A registry of every player who's ever played in the NHL. Built-in searches on Name, Birthplace, Position played, Team, and career milestones like number of goals scored or total games played. I've spent a lot of time here just browsing around.

The Legends

The members of the Hockey Hall of Fame. Players, builders, officials, media, each category is comprehensively covered with bios, stats and photos. Searchable too. Did you know that eighteen different clubs from Calgary are represented in the HOF?


Lots more to see too.

Posted by Ted at 08:54 AM | Comments (0)

March 19, 2005

Contest Winner!

Since I can't actually tell who the official Rocket Jones 100K visitor was, I've decided that Cindy of Dusting My Brain is the winner.

I had narrowed it down to her and Collins, until Paul made a late charge with his decision to use the word "mofo" more often in conversation. Despite the massive increase in street cred, Paul fell just short. So how did Cindy emerge victorious?

(in the extended entry)














Collins Cindy
asked for my daughter's phone number asked for home baked bread
honorary Haitian
(secret name: click click durk)
New Yorker
(secret name: Squipper)
sucks is a Lady, and I would never inquire about that
(but I'm not such a gentleman that I'd reject the idea of volunteered information)
is a horny scumbag guy
(see daughter above)
is a girl
(see Lady above)

There's more, but I think you understand that it wasn't really close, in a completely arbitrary kind of way.

So Cindy, contact me via email and we'll figure out what kind of genuine Rocket Jones machine-made bread you'd like.

Posted by Ted at 07:44 PM | Comments (4)

Rock 'n' Roll is a strange and wondrous place

I always thought that Dread Zeppelin was the oddest rock band out there. I mean, they've got it all. Led Zeppelin tunes done in reggae, and their lead singer is an Elvis impersonator.

Way more cool than "The Charmer", that calypso artist who changed careers and is now better known by his real name: Louis Farrakhan, outspoken head whackjob leader of the Nation of Islam.

But then, along comes Hatebeak. Self described as:

Face-crushing guitars, head-pounding drums, bass so low you'll vacate your bowels, and vocals so scorching, so extreme they simply can't be human! They're not. This death metal outfit with a parrot for a singer trashes the pathetic birdfeeder you call the metal underground!

Yep.

Songs are available for download.

Thanks to John of Texas' Best Grok for the pointer to The Charmer.
Thanks to Johno of the Ministry for pointing out Hatebeak.

Posted by Ted at 07:18 AM | Comments (5)

March 18, 2005

In any given group, there's bound to be at least one jerk

Disabled con artists and their shyster lawyers are becoming a problem.

Gary Walker was horrified when legal documents arrived at his small restaurant notifying him that he was being sued for violating the Americans with Disabilities Act, the federal law that requires wheelchair ramps and other features for the disabled.

The feeling turned to anger when Walker found out the man suing him, Shiloh Hobleman, had filed a series of practically carbon-copy lawsuits against more than a dozen small businesses in the area.

"Hobleman is what can only be characterized as a `serial plaintiff,'" Walker's lawyer said in court papers. "Except for the named defendants, each of the ADA complaints is virtually, if not exactly, identical to the instant suit — right down to the typographical and grammatical errors."

My wife Liz was in a wheelchair for several years. Here's an old post about that, and what I said about it:

We also got to be quite the crusaders for handicapped access. Our local Lions club replaced it’s front doors because they were a designated voting station, but wheelchairs couldn’t fit through them because of the center jamb. Two stores modified their register layouts because Liz raised enough hell (up to the county level) about wheelchair access and, more importantly, fire safety. I once got into it with the manager of a computer store (major chain) because they had the aisles packed with stacks of extra inventory, and I was kicking them over one by one as we shopped to make room for the wheelchair. He wanted to call the cops, but hesitated when I wanted that too. The county supervisor got involved and I assume they’ve changed their ways, but we’ve never gone back. I refuse to give my money to assholes.

You’d be surprised how many times someone pulls up in front of a store and blocks the wheelchair ramp. If they have the grace to apologize when they come running out and see us waiting, we’d figure they learned the lesson and be more aware next time. If they didn’t care, I’d scrape the chair along their car getting around it. Call the cops asshole, and make sure you mention how you were threatening a lady in a wheelchair.

So I've seen what kinds of problems the ADA is supposed to solve, and I've seen the difficulties caused for the disabled when those laws are ignored. At the same time, we never even considered suing.

I hope they can come up with some way to limit these nitwits who make a career out of filing ADA lawsuits (I especially like the judge's decision to not award costs to the one plaintiff). However they manage it, it'll have to be fair, and that's going to take someone with the wisdom of Solomon. And a thick damn skin, because you know the nanny-state believers will be crawling out from under every rock to whine about disabled rights.

Posted by Ted at 06:02 AM | Comments (0)

March 15, 2005

It was that damned compassion that screwed me, wasn't it?

Would you survive a zombie emergency?

Official Survivor
Congratulations! You scored 64%!

Whether through ferocity or quickness, you made it out. You made the right choice most of the time, but you probably screwed up somewhere. Nobody's perfect, at least you're alive.

According to the results, I scored higher than 99% of males my age.

Link: The Zombie Scenario Survivor Test written by ci8db4uok on Ok Cupid

I'm assuming I rate slightly above 'spare' with the guys at the Ministry?

Posted by Ted at 12:06 PM | Comments (8)

It hurts when you snort cornflakes through your nose

From the Jawa Report:

Achmed: We demand 1 million lira for Sgrena's release! (pinky to mouth)

Sgrena: Er, 1 million lira is like $700 U.S. dollars.

Achmed: Oh? Really.....

Sgrena: Yeah........

Achmed: Ok....We demand 1 billion lira! (pinky finger to mouth)

Sgrena:....

Achmed: What? Too much??.....

Sgrena: Well.....er.....better. That's like $700,000 U.S.

Achmed:.....

Sgrena:......

Achmed:.......So?

Sgrena: Wouldn't you be able to fund more Iraqi 'Minutemen' to kill the Zionist-Crusader forces with like a trillion lira......???

Achmed:.......

Sgrena:...............

Achmed:You know we invented the zero, don't you?

You owe me a keyboard.

Posted by Ted at 06:09 AM | Comments (1)

March 14, 2005

Carnival of the Cat Recipes?

Now this is interesting. Check out this recipe that wasn't sent in to the Carnival. I'm having a hard time believing that a cat wrote that post because, frankly, I don't think a cat would care enough about anyone else to bother. But then, I'm a dog person.

Posted by Ted at 04:56 AM | Comments (1)

March 13, 2005

Danny Joe Brown - RIP

Russ alerted me to this a few days ago, but I couldn't find a link until now.

Danny Joe Brown passed away.

Danny Joe Brown, a founding member of Southern rockers Molly Hatchet, and singer and co-writer of the band's biggest hits from the late '70s, died on Thursday at his home in Davie of complications from pneumonia. He was 53.

Brown had been a diabetic and had problems with his health for years.

Posted by Ted at 07:56 PM | Comments (5)

Hockey Whoopass Jamboree

The Milwaukee Admirals edged my Cleveland Barons over the weekend. In accordance with the prophesy By the rules, I hereby display the victorious Admirals logo here

milwaukee-thumb.gif

and provide links to Brian J and Frinklin, who doubled up for Beer City.

Posted by Ted at 04:42 PM | Comments (1)

I'll vote as soon as I finish taping my knuckles

Eric of Off Wing Opinion asks:

Has Miracle knocked Slapshot out of the top spot for the greatest hockey movie of all time?

The comments are interesting and amusing, and personally, while I liked Miracle a lot, it doesn't top Slapshot.

Posted by Ted at 03:59 PM | Comments (2)

Looking inward

Most everyone has heard of the SETI@home project, where you can download a screensaver that uses your PC's downtime to process data collected by the big radio telescopes pointed "out there" looking for life.

There is a similar effort to utilize PC's as a massively distributed platform to study protein folding.

What are proteins and why do they "fold"? Proteins are biology's workhorses -- its "nanomachines." Before proteins can carry out their biochemical function, they remarkably assemble themselves, or "fold." The process of protein folding, while critical and fundamental to virtually all of biology, remains a mystery. Moreover, perhaps not surprisingly, when proteins do not fold correctly (i.e. "misfold"), there can be serious effects, including many well known diseases, such as Alzheimer's, Mad Cow (BSE), CJD, ALS, Huntington's, and Parkinson's disease.

Check out details here, and Rich has more links and information at his place.

Posted by Ted at 10:04 AM | Comments (0)

March 11, 2005

Fair is fair

The ladies have Valentine's Day, and are showered with roses and chocolate (you did shower someone sweet, right?). Well, a gentleman has come up with a brilliant equivalent for us guys. March 14th shall henceforth and forevermore be:

Steak and BJ Day

No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town; the name of the holiday explains it all, just a steak and a BJ. Thats it. Finally, this twin pair of Valentine's Day and Steak and Blowjob Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere try THAT much harder in February to ensure a memorable March 14th!

I'd say that I think this is a fine idea, but being a guy, that would be redundant.

Thanks to the guys at The Ministry of Minor Perfidy for pointing this one out, and who've redecorated and returned refreshed and kicking butt. Mmmmm, Caribou steak....

Posted by Ted at 08:31 PM | Comments (4)

Now where did I leave my towel?

I've talked about Infocom games before (Zork is an example). Now, thanks to Alan Brain, you can recall the good ol' days, or find out what you were missing.

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (online versions).

Posted by Ted at 05:02 AM | Comments (2)

March 07, 2005

Hockey Whoopass Jamboree

Cindy, aka Squipper, of Dusting My Brain fame (who is also a podcasting pioneer I might add), is rooting for the Hamilton Bulldogs in the Jamboree this season. Her Bulldogs edged the Barons in this weekend's game and so I'm posting her team logo here.

hamilton.gif

Nice doggie.

Posted by Ted at 04:50 AM | Comments (1)

March 05, 2005

March 03, 2005

Wish I'd said that

From Blather Review:

Y'know, I was eating Alpha-Bits one morning and was surprised because I saw that it read "oooooo." Then I remembered that I was eating CheeriOs.

There's more, and it's all good.

Posted by Ted at 11:39 AM | Comments (0)

March 01, 2005

A couple of links for fun

Via Physics Geek, some ideas of how to let vacationing co-workers know you were thinking about them. Drink alert on this one.

A few days ago Mookie was telling me about this interactive buddy flash game, and I finally tried it. Oh man, is this addicting. You start off with a generic virtual buddy, and you get money for each interaction. Start small with tickles and shoves and such, and eventually you build up to tossing around fireballs and grenades. If you're not convinced that you need to release your pent-up psychotic yet, you can also purchase "skins" for your buddy, so that you're abusing interacting with Dubya, Michael Moore, and many others.

Posted by Ted at 09:30 AM | Comments (1)

February 27, 2005

Hockey History, up close and personal

Nic has been posting hockey memorabilia - cards and autographs and such - and telling the stories that go along with them. These aren't mundane "I stood around for an hour until he came out of the locker room" stories either. These are cool stories.

There's more than I linked to. Go here, scroll down and read 'em all.

Posted by Ted at 09:33 AM | Comments (1)

February 26, 2005

Out of context Quote of the Day

Via McCovey Chronicles:

"... you've got to have some serious talent to have 53,000 people saying you suck."

Go Barry Bonds. Heh.

Posted by Ted at 09:28 AM | Comments (0)

February 25, 2005

Welcome to the 28th Carnival of the Recipes

Thanks to everyone who's stopped by, and special thanks to all who contributed recipes for this Carnival. I went from zero to overwhelmed in seconds. If you've never visited Rocket Jones before, feel free to look around and I hope you come back to visit on a regular basis. Now, strap yourselves in and hang on...

(in the extended entry)

"Space Food Hideous - But It Costs A Lot." -- 1960's newspaper headline

Space: the final frontier. Space food: a scientifically designed hybrid of hospital food and the wonders of modern chemistry.

Each and every one of the following recipes is guaranteed never to have been eaten in orbit by some poor astro/cosmo/taiko-naut, who probably just wished he could have a Space Food Stick instead.

(All links open in super-scientifical and technologically-advanced new windows.)



goodies

Since this first recipe contains Vegemite, it might very well have been bad enough to be included in the menu on some space mission. I hearby rescind my original guarantee, and present Simon's Grilled Cheese and Vegemite Sandwich without further comment.

Nothing says "Good morning" with such international flair than a toasted bagel with cream cheese and really fresh, homemade, Jewish, Icelandic, Norwegian, Gravlox.

So says Michael, who then proceeds to give excellent directions (including pictures) on how to make Gravlox. If bagels and fixin's are your thing, this sounds like... uh, like you'd like this. But wait, he's not done yet, because he also offers up this next recipe.

44 Proof Pop, which is actually a fortified wine that's ready to go in eight days. Once again there are complete directions and pictures to show you how step by step. Thanks for submitting two very unique recipes this week!

And since the bar is open, Dawn offers up one of my favorite flavors in an alcohol/slurpee fusion kinda way:

Apricot Slush

2 cups Apricot Brandy
2 cups boiling H2O
4 teabags
6 cups H2O
12 ounces frozen O.J.
6 ounces frozen lemonade
1 3/4 cups sugar
Ginger ale

Steep teabags in the two cups of boiling water for two minutes. Drain and discard bags. Combine with brandy, the six cups of water, O.J., lemonade and sugar. Cover and freeze overnight. Serve in cups with equal parts ginger ale. Some people choose to put the ginger ale into the punchbowl, but I prefer to keep it on the side so that the mixture stays slushy longer.

Variation: Amaretto Slush

Substitute 2 cups Amaretto for Apricot Brandy
Reduce amount of frozen O.J. to 6 ounces
Add 6 ounces of frozen limeade

Keep the amaretto, or better yet, let *me* keep the apricot brandy.

Drink in one hand, you need a nibble in the other, right? That's what they tell me anyway, because I'm not much of a drinker (translation: cheap date). Jeff suggests these Cracker Crack Crackers, which sound really strange but oddly compelling. I'm gonna have to give these a try.

Mini-Pizzas. Temptation in the round. Punctilious waves these around under our collective noses with a hearty "neener-neener, go make your own!" Then he helpfully tells us how.


appetizers

From the Druid Labs, BHD accidently blurted out the secret recipe for Spinach Balls with Mustard Sauce. That was a pleasant surprise, because we were just asking directions to the little astronaut's room.

Dr. Alice saves the appetizer category with her recipe for aioli (garlic mayonnaise) and lots and lots of suggestions on how to use it. The word "platter" keeps coming up, which sounds to me like party dish perfect.

Two recipes make a category. I was afraid that everyone would shun the poor lonely spinach balls, and was googling for pictures of Kermit in a space suit (don't ask, just thank Dr. Alice).



soups and salad

mmmmMinestrone. From Victor's recipe, but it was posted by Nic, along with variations on the theme.

And speaking of Victor (who will apparently eat pretty much anything), he posted a review, not an actual recipe, of something called Green Protein. There's even a picture of the bottle, so you can avoid it when you see it in the store.

I'm with Nic on this one, I think they just forgot to print "Soylent" on the label.

Now Dave is an impressive guy. He's got this blog, AZ Perspective and Junk, and he sent in his recipe email chock full of html goodies and links all laid out and ready to be cut and pasted into the Carnival.

I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.

Sorry, just channelling my inner Hal there for a moment.

Anyways, he's serving up Canton Beef and Vegetable Soup, and it sounds like a winner. The link is a little funky but the recipe is there, just scroll down a little on the page. Third time's the charm?

This next one should probably go under main dishes, but I hold soup in high esteem, so Tanker's Dried Shrimp, Sausage and Fish Gumbo goes right here. He even offers up serving suggestions:

To serve, put a scoop of rice in each bowl, and ladle the gumbo over it, making sure that you share shrimp, sausage and fish with each diner lest they call you bad names.

That's hospitality, Cajun style.

Chicken Soup. Simple perfection, brought to you by Jordana. Very Zen.

When Allan Thinks, he thinks of Wagon Wheel Beef Soup. Another soup hearty enough for a chilly winter's day.

All hail Punctilious for this one (sorry, his moniker makes me think of ancient Romans). Have some clever wordplay and a nice little recipe for Vietnamese noodle soup: Not Even Faux Pho Soup.

As an aside, Punctilious also posted an intriguing "cooks question" bit here. G'wan, you know you wanna.

Vinegar-Slithered Cabbage, courtesy of Julie. Stir fry... I wonder what a zero-g wok would look like?

South Beachin' it? Tired of it? If so, check out BJ's variation called "It's Not Exactly South Beach, Caesar". There are also some nice tips on herbs and dressings and how to use them.

Bitterman offers up a twosome this week, this one called Bitterman's Sweet & Sour Vinaigrette, and one down in the Main Dish section. This one calls for commanding from on high like Charlton Heston and purportedly will get you laid.

There is just so much I don't know about cooking.




main dishes

Now this one sounds out of this world (oh stop it, you knew I would use that line at least once!). Techno Gypsy offers up his Venison and Sour Cherries.

Like I always say: "Google is your friend", so for those wondering what a Larding Needle is, follow the link for a picture and instructions on how it's used. Very reasonably priced and it's the secret to cooking very lean meats, according to TG.

Courtesy of Hold the Mayo, Stephen shows what down home comfort food is all about with his Macklin's Magic Meatloaf. Add a side of mashed potatoes (leave a few lumps so folks know they're real) and some steamed carrots and I'm there!

Mary Beth doubles up on the down home goodness, with a recipe for Dutch Meatloaf (a Delft Blue Plate Special?).

Any Heinlein fans out there? Which of his characters in which of his books made a reference to meatloaf and its value as a way to judge cooking skills?

And our final entrant in the meatloaf category comes from Songstress, with her Mmmmmmmmeatloaf! You know I like the "mmmmm" part. Great minds and all that.

Mmmmmmeanwhile, over at Daily Pundit, David writes:

A few weeks ago, I posted a recipe for marinara sauce, and promised a recipe that used it.

Good things come to those who wait, and his Beef & Ricotta Cannelloni is going to the top of my "to try" list, because my wife loves Italian food, and a happy wife makes for a happy life.

Drew, of Cooking for Conservatives fame, lends a little class to this week's Carnival with his Chicken with Orange. This is something to impress someone special with, just don't let on how simple it actually is.

File this one under Deja Vu. Laughing Wolf sends in his similarly named Orange Chicken. It's not the same thing, and the process is a bit more involved than Drew's version, but it sounds just as heavenly.

Kathleen dredged up a painful memory for me when she linked her recipe to South Park's Eric Cartman. You see, a friend of mine once drew me as a South Park character, and it wasn't pretty. Moving beyond my pain, I demand that you all make Kathleen's Chicken Mushroom PAH! You. Must. Respect. My. Authoritah!

And in yet another flash of Deja Vu (is that redundant?), Michele gives us Chicken Pie. I love the way winter is bringing out all the home-style foods. I also love the space pictures at Michele's place.

Your pal Bitterman chimes in again with Chocolate Enchiladas (scroll down at the link). You just gotta love a simple Mole sauce.

Feeling a little herbivorius? (herbivorous?) BHD chimes in a second time with this wonderful Vegetarian Stew (insert your own joke about how hard it is to tenderize a vegetarian).

This next one comes with a disclaimer from GEBIV:

...this is not a proper recipe. This is sort of what a bachelor would consider a recipe. At least one not afraid of experimenting a little bit…

What follows is French Onion Chicken, and it sounds better than 99% of the crap I ate as a bachelor. Good job, guy.

From Deb of Accidental Verbosity, this very intentional variation of a classic: The Jedi's Spicy Baked Mac and Cheese.

Shawn Lea serves up an easy-to-do bit of oinky goodness called, simply enough, My Crockpot Pork Roast.

More chicken, more ethnicity - sorta - this time by the vaugely named B, who gives us Vaugely Mediterranean Chicken. I don't know if I could make this one, because kalamata olives have an extremely short lifespan in my presence.

How about a Siciliana Pasta Sauce? Amanda shares this with us, and assures us that the anchovies are optional.

At Fishtown Chatter, David notes:

There are more chickens than people in the world.

And after talking about chickens on a blog from Fishtown, it's only natural that David submits a recipe called:

Spicy Bar-B-Que Pork Chops

6 Pork Chops-about 1/2 inches thick

Sauce:
1 16 oz.bottle of cheap generic Bar-B-Que Sauce
1 16 oz. bottle of ketchup-any brand
1 16 bottle of generic grape jelly
1 teaspoon ground red cayenne pepper
Mix above ingredients in food processer until blended and pour into a container large enough to dip a chop into. Place the sauce container near grill.

Cook pork chops on grill until done-for the last 30 seconds turn up flame to high and get chops sizzling. Take a sizzling chop and dip into sauce and put on platter. Do the same with the remaining chops. When finished, pour the remainder of the sauce over the chops. Enjoy.

Oh yeah, count on it.

Dr. Alice provided a second recipe, this time for Stewed Chicken with Lentils. Sounds yummy.

Another David and another chicken dish, and I feel we're approaching some sort of karmic symmetry here. I have the honor to present his Green Chicken Casserole.

It's not as bad as you'd think from the title.

He's right about that, and I'm disappointed because I have this mental list of people I would feed green chicken. Oh well.

Peeps, this is getting scary. David. Chicken. This time it's Jerk Chicken and you get a little story along with it. Also, he gives great advice about treating hot peppers with respect.

Let's see, we've got game and Italian and Dutch and Mexican and much much more, so in the name of international diversity I'll toss in my Chinese recipe for Chicken Mo Fo. Yes, the name is a joke, but it's good eats.

And no, I'm not changing my name to Dave.




Sidedish.jpg

Techno Gypsy gets a second mention here for his Simple Pilaf. It's below his Venison and Sour Cherries recipe, so just scroll down a little to find it. Well worth it.

Oddybobo chips in with Israeli Couscous. Big yum, plus it's fun to say. C'mon: couscous, couscous, couscous... What can I say, I'm easily entertained.

It's BHD time again, she of the Druid Labs. This time it's a not-your-everyday pot luck dish: Peas and orzo with olives, tarragon, and pecans.




dessert

Here's a classic, Lemon Meringue Pie, from VW of One Happy Dog Speaks (love that name by the way). Personally, I'm not a big lemon flavor fan, but this would last all of about three minutes in our house, because the rest of the family is.

If'n y'all wanted to say "thank you" in a tangible way, I could think of worse ways than to gift someone special with one of these Chocolate Kahlua Trifle's (hint hint).

This week, Gullyborg provides something a little different, a Strawberry Balsamic Dessert Topping that sounds wonderful. Plus, there's a little bonus recipe at the end for the leftovers.

Bev sent along the following with her recipe link:

The cookies that launched seven volumes of page-long sentences. I'm sorry to say that, though they are this delicious, the esteem expressed by my last baking went largely unrequited.

Now that's sad enough to bring a tear to this ol' space cadet's eye. Which is really a pain when your face shield is down, although it's not as bad as an itchy nose.

So please, visit Bev and make her Madeleines, and write her and tell her how wonderful they are (because they are). Oh, and Bev? I'd suggest leaving a copy of "Self-Fulfilling Prophecies for Dummies" on your boss's desk.

Monkeys like bananas, and monkeys went into space, and... and... I mean, the parallels here are just breathtaking! I'm talking about Triticale's Banana Cake. Another baked goody from the guy named after uppity grass.




So there ya go, an amazing collection of non-NASA approved food. You folks have done yourselves proud. I hope you've enjoyed this, because I had a great time putting it together and exchanging emails.

Oops, almost forgot about next week's Carnival. Send your recipes to the same address, because it'll be hosted here at Rocket Jones again. I have several ideas for possible themes. Be afraid. :D

Posted by Ted at 05:33 AM | Comments (16)

February 23, 2005

recipe *dot* carnival *at* gmail *dot* com

That's the address to email your favorite recipes for this week's Carnival of the Recipes, and it's staying at the top of the page today, so scroll down for new posts.

Helen, something vegetarian please?

Paul, after reading about your molten-lava nuggets, I know you've got something to share.

Oorgo? Shank? You must have something involving blow torches and charred flesh of some sort.

Dortch, I know you've got to have a kick-ass brownie recipe.

I expect something cloyingly sweet from my pal Bitterman, because it's the yin to his yang, if you know what I mean.

Dawn, stick it with a freaking toothpick and send it over. I'm counting on you.

C'mon dammit. It's late, I've got to get up early in the morning, and y'all are just waiting until the last moment. All of you. I know you are.

Posted by Ted at 11:17 PM | Comments (4)

It's Robot Week!

Over at annika's.

Posted by Ted at 01:02 PM | Comments (0)

February 19, 2005

Men don't make passes at (anime) girls who wear glasses

I've said it before and I'll say it again: The sexiest thing in the world is a lady wearing glasses.

Unfortunately, American cartoons never really understood that (except for Velma on Scoobie Doo). Lucky for us then, that Japanese anime stepped in and filled a need by populating their weird toon universes with plenty of bespectecled lasses. And just to prove that some people have way too much time on their hands, this site has an indexed list of female anime characters who wear glasses.

Thanks to Chizumatic for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 07:18 AM | Comments (4)

February 18, 2005

*Updated:* More blaming the big guys, and this time it's personal

Q&O has posted their take on Drug Companies and the way they're treated in today's world. I agree with their views 100%, and I'll tell you why.

This week... the Food and Drug Administration holds very public hearings on potential health risks of popular prescription pain medications called Cox-2 inhibitors.

They've recently taken two of the newer meds off the market, Vioxx and another I can't remember at the moment. This leaves one Cox-2 inhibitor available, Celebrex.

My wife takes Celebrex, and has for six and a half years. It's one of the drugs she takes daily to manage her severe Fibromyalgia. We've discussed this with her doctor, and there is no good substitute for Celebrex that's available today.

So what would happen to Liz if she were forced to discontinue her use of Celebrex? Within a week she would begin to feel muscular weakness and increased fine-motor impairment. Within two weeks she probably wouldn't be able to walk without a cane. Within a month she'd no longer be able to drive, which means she could no longer work. At that point she would probably also have to return to her wheelchair.

Thirty days to be reduced to near total dependence on others.

Like anything else, there are risks involved in life. The trick is evaluating the risks vs benefits. It's not always so clear cut as in my wife's case, but given the choice between seeing my wife lead a near-normal life or protecting the small number of people who might drop dead from taking the drug, well, I'll be selfish and still sleep just fine at night.

Protect us from dangerous drugs, yes. Play nanny and never allow anything that might possibly hurt a single person, no.

I'm writing my Senators and Congressmen about this.

Update: Nic left some great information in the comments (thanks!). Also, today I read an interview where the head of Merck (who pulled Vioxx earlier this year) (I had incorrectly identified the company as Phizer, who make Celebrex and Bextra - RJ) says that you have to weigh risks and benefits (where have we heard that before?) and that Vioxx may be brought back to the market with stronger and more comprehensive warnings.

Best of all:

Advisers to the Food and Drug Administration concluded Friday the popular painkiller Celebrex poses an increased risk for heart problems but should remain on the market because the benefits outweighs the dangers.

It's not a done deal, but we're breathing easier.

Posted by Ted at 12:03 PM | Comments (5)

Our Hockey is still going on

The Hockey Whoopass Jamboree, that is.

Too bad my Cleveland Barons got thumped by the Rochester Americans.

rochestor-thumb.gif

So in accordance with the rules, GEBIV's logo appears here. They play again tonight, so look for either a repeat of this tomorrow (boo), or a pointer to his place to admire the place of prominence the shark will enjoy on his page (yay).

Posted by Ted at 06:10 AM | Comments (2)

Carnival of the Recipes

Numero twenty-seven-o is being hosted this week at Inside Allan's Mind (the "at" almost seems redundant, doesn't it?). Good stuff going on over there.

Rocket Jones will be bringing you the Carnival in the very near future.

Posted by Ted at 06:02 AM | Comments (0)

February 17, 2005

Only click the link if you have the mental fortitude to deal with strong emotions

The title is one of those "disclaimers" they'd use for schlock horror gore-fests in the 60's and 70's, trying to convince patrons that the movie wasn't the usual cheesy crap (it always was).

I'm using it here because of Kofi Girls, a page full of the UN's ScamMeister Meister Scammer Kofi Annan, all photoshopped out into "average hot babe".

I'll admit it. I screamed and I cried, but I couldn't tear my eyes away. And I laughed. I laughed so hard I think something tore loose inside my skull because now if I shake my head just so I can feel everything sloshing around inside there and I see a pretty little light show out of the corner of one eye.

Also, at the bottom of the page is the best bit:

UN Flag Burning Kits
Coming Soon!

Show your lack of support for the Kyoto Protocol by releasing a small amount of blue flag pollutant into the air. United Nations flag burring kits come with matches flammable accelerant and of course a powder blue United Nations flag.

Thanks to Spoons for pointing this one out (well, it was an ad on his site, which proves ads work I guess).

As an added bonus, now when people ask me if I'm all right because of my odd head shaking, I just smile and say "pretty lights".

Posted by Ted at 09:26 AM | Comments (3)

February 16, 2005

WalMart is the United States of the Retail Universe

What I mean by that is, if you've got an axe to grind, a stand to take, or a problem to solve, then automatically blame the US WalMart and dream up some way to make them pay your way.

The great state of Montana, where men are men and sheep are nervous, is the latest in a long list of whiney little bitches when it comes to WalMart.

As an incentive for these "big box stores'' to pay a living wage to their workers, Sen. Ken Toole's Senate Bill 272 would impose a gross proceeds tax on these companies. They would be exempt from the tax if they paid their employees an entry level wage of at least $22,000 a year, counting both pay and benefits and if less than half of their workers were part-time.

Follow that link and read the whole sordid scam.

My standard question to WalMart haters is this: at what point does a company become so successful that they've become evil?

WalMart has been kicking the retail world's ass for a while now, like K-Mart before them, and Sears before them, and Macy's before them, and on and on. Some day, some chain will come up with a better way for the times and WalMart will become another former top-dog.

And for every gripe there is about them, the answer is the same: they're doing exactly what they need to do to compete. You don't become dominant (or even successful) by not being "right". The number of people who shop there, the amount of sales they generate and the mind-boggling number of people they employ all mean one thing. THEY ARE DOING IT RIGHT. Don't like 'em? No problem, go shop somewhere else. That's the beauty of the free market. Of course, you'll pay more, but sometimes taking a stand involves more than announcing your principles. And while you're in that Mom & Pop store, ask 'em how many folks they employ, how much they pay, and what kind of benefits they offer their hired help.

WalMart (and MicroSoft for that matter), aren't evil, just very successful.

I hope that Montana passes their stupid tax, and I hope WalMart says screw it and shuts down every last store in the state. Then, just like in Canada, you'll hear the whiney little bitches bleating about how unfair it is. And they'll be missing the point that I saw someone make recently (sorry, can't remember where), if WalMart is bad, then if they leave it's a good thing. Right?

Thanks to DynamoBuzz for the pointer, although I oughta smack him for making my blood pressure rise like that. ;)

Posted by Ted at 08:41 PM | Comments (8)

New Blog Showcase

When a blogger first starts out, one of the hardest things to do is getting noticed (except for me of course. I sprang from Blogger's loins fully formed and wrapped in a tamale husk, at least that's my story this week and I'm sticking to it).

Sorry for the sidetrack... As I was saying, it's difficult to get that jump start on traffic (spelling is hard too, especially words like vacuum, which I always misspell vacume for some stupid reason).

Oops, there I go again (although Monty Python did this same basic gag much better in the opening credits of Holy Grail, don't you think?).

Ahem. Find someone less tiresome to read at the New Blog Showcase. Your sanity will thank you.

Posted by Ted at 06:04 AM | Comments (1)

February 15, 2005

Gates revisited

I mentioned the new artwork in New York's Central Park, and also noted that Cindy had promised pictures. See for yourself here (pre) and here (complete).

Munu's Michele has more pictures and her take on Gates as well.

Posted by Ted at 11:46 AM | Comments (0)

Crystal Claire Glass

That's the name one of my old Air Force buddies claimed he was going to hang on a daughter.

So besides being a fairly good chunk of Google bait, it makes a dandy lead to this wicked cool online toy: The Baby Name Wizard. Go play with it and be impressed.

Thanks to Rodger (the 300th most popular boys name in the 1940's) via Spoons (which is inexplicably missing from the database) for pointing this one out. The drawing link is worth seeing too.

Posted by Ted at 05:36 AM | Comments (1)

The joys of parenthood

That title is *not* being sarcastic. For all the trials and tribulations and unexpected crises that come about with little ones, it all fades to insignificance with one smile. And when a child smiles, they smile with everything they've got.

Robert has been kiddie-blogging recently (gee, I wonder why?).

Rich has too.

All links worth reading, because kids are natural-born Monty Python skit generating machines.

Posted by Ted at 05:13 AM | Comments (0)

Flip Wilson used to say "Don't fight the feeling"

Somehow along the line, one of the occasionally recurring themes on Rocket Jones has become bondage related posts. I'll admit that I haven't tried very hard to change that (translation: I've run with it).

So in keeping with that hereby-declared fine tradition, I proudly present The Comic Book Bondage Cover of the Day.

Posted by Ted at 04:34 AM | Comments (1)

February 14, 2005

Must-See Video

Scenes of Election Day in Iraq, set to the Fanfare for the Common Man.

Thanks to Silflay Hraka for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 11:46 AM | Comments (0)

I think I'm going Japanese

This site let's you enter your name and it will translate it to Japanese katakana characters of various type styles. For instance, here's the caligraphy form of "Ted".

Ted.png

And the explanation as given by the site:

It is pronounced "TEDDO". (Consonants are pronounced more or less the same way as in English. "E" sounds like e in met. "O" sounds like o in old.)

That last line should read "O" as in elder statesman.

Posted by Ted at 04:22 AM | Comments (3)

February 11, 2005

Out-of-context Quote of the Day

Courtesy of Munuviana's very own Everyday Stranger.

"Oh God, I'm going to come, 10-4!"

Gotcha covered there, good buddy.

Posted by Ted at 06:08 AM | Comments (0)

February 08, 2005

It's an extravaganza and meme-y goodness, all in one place!

Over at Sanity's Edge, Paul is hosting The Cavalcade of Blogs.

What is the Cavalcade?

It’s an opinion poll based on your reading habits and it requires your participation. I’d like you to answer a few questions and I’ll tally up the results and post some links.

In other words, he's got nothing.

Except that's not quite true, because right after that he starts a new meme. Something new and exciting and never-before-done anywhere except maybe on masochistic webrings. That's right, Paul cracks his head open for your entertainment. Now the meme bit is kinda my idea, about making it one of those since-you-did-it-I'll-do-it-too things that make their rounds on the blogs. I mean, what's funnier than personal injury, eh?

Coming soon to Rocket Jones, a story about a rickety wooden stool, a soldering iron, and a set of clackers I put together one drunken weekend out of two old bowling balls and some bungee cord. So, who's next?

Posted by Ted at 11:53 AM | Comments (2)

Art can be puzzling

And in this case, that's a literal description (hmmmm, where have I heard that phrase before...). The sculpture consists of 21 interlocking pieces made of brass, copper, aluminum, steel, stainless steel, cast iron, magnesium, titanium, tungsten, aluminum bronze and bearing bronze. Hidden inside is a one inch cube of solid silver or gold.

When fully assembled, this sculpture forms a beautiful three inch cube with softly rounded edges. It weighs 7-9 pounds depending on the metal composition.

Price is ~2k dollars, more if you want the gold ingot inside. I could never afford it, but I still think it's beautiful.

Posted by Ted at 06:08 AM | Comments (0)

February 06, 2005

Matters for thought

It's not all rainbows and puppies here at Rocket Jones, and even though I don't often delve into deep subjects (this is my happy place dammit!), that doesn't mean that I'm not out there reading and listening and contemplating. No, really.

A couple of recent posts have given me grist for the ol' mental mill.

Debeye describes herself as "A Fierce American in Toronto, Ontario". I'll go further and say she shares some valuable insights about our northern neighbors from the American point of view. She's not all about putting down the Canadians, but she calls it like she sees it.

Her post titled "Events Catch Up To Pretensions" is one of the best explanations I've ever read for the Canadian attitudes about themselves and towards the US. Even then, that itself is just a small part of what she touches on.

There are so many passages I'd like to quote for you, but I'll settle for the following about the Iraqi elections, and urge you to go read it all for yourself.

As for some others up here ... If they're examining their souls and wondering how they could have so misjudged the situation in Iraq then I'd advise them not to waste too much time on guilt or shame but pledge only to open their minds to the possibilility that if a stopped clock can be right twice a day, then Americans too might occasionally be right.

On a deeper philosophical note, Daniel Moore offers up his thoughts on transhumanism, which has been discussed recently on both Instapundit and Transterrestrial Musings (Daniel has the links).

He quotes Leon Kass, but here's the opening teaser:

Nothing humanly fine, let alone great, will come out of a society that is willing to sacrifice all other goods to keep the present generation alive and intact.

That single provocative statement leads down some interesting paths of reasoning. Daniel touches on a couple, and I'm enjoying some quiet time chewing through the implications myself.

Next up on Rocket Jones: Perky Puppy meets Princess of the Rainbow Kingdom!

Starring Bela Lugosi. Heh.

Posted by Ted at 10:34 AM | Comments (3)

Who? Dr. Who, that's who!

An image archive site for all things Dr. Who. Lots there besides pictures too.

Posted by Ted at 12:29 AM | Comments (2)

February 05, 2005

There's no escaping the long arm of the music industry

Gertrude Walton has been named as the sole defendant in a lawsuit filed by the music industry in their latest shot in the battle against music piracy. The lawsuit claims that Walton, under the screen name smittenedkitten, made available over 700 rock, pop and rap songs for sharing.

Couple of problems with that. According to her daughter, her mother objected to having a computer in the house.

"My mother was computer illiterate. She hated a computer," Chianumba said. "My mother wouldn't know how to turn on a computer."

Another problem is that Gertrude Walton died a month ago, at age 83.

"I believe that if music companies are going to set examples they need to do it to appropriate people and not dead people," Chianumba said. "I am pretty sure she is not going to leave Greenwood Memorial Park (where she is buried) to attend the hearing."

An RIAA spokeman said that obviously, the lawsuit would be dismissed.

That *pop* sound you hear is someone pulling their head out of their ass.

Posted by Ted at 12:27 PM | Comments (0)

Two strolls through the park

First up, Cindy promises pictures of a new exhibit in New York's Central Park, called Gates. Brought to life by the artist who wrapped the German Reichstag in fabric and planted thousands of umbrellas in California and Japan, this new work has taken many years to arrange.

...7,500 gates that will frame the pathways of Central Park for sixteen days. Each of the gates is sixteen feet high, secured to a heavy metal base and trailing a swath of bright saffron-colored fabric, all of which, together in the wind, will create a shimmering river of color.

A lot of folks deride these types of works, but for the most part I think they're imaginative and exhilarating. He finances them himself too, no public funding is used.

Next, Fred at The Eternal Golden Braid gives the heads up to a new dinosaur exhibit in the American Museum of Natural History, also in New York. This sounds wicked cool.

A major highlight of the exhibition will be an enormous, 700-square-foot walk-through diorama of China's Jehol Forest—the most detailed re-creation of a prehistoric environment ever attempted. Visitors will get a chance to stroll back in time through the forest as it existed 130 million years ago during the Mesozoic era and come face to face with the creatures that lived there. Considered one of the most important fossil areas in the world, the Jehol Forest, which existed in northeast China's Liaoning Province, has yielded an abundance of new discoveries, revealing a rich diversity of specimens that have been exceptionally well-preserved.

For the Jehol Forest diorama, the Museum is creating multiple scientifically accurate, fleshed-out, life-size models of more than 35 different species of dinosaurs, reptiles, early birds, insects, and plants, including several species never before reconstructed, ranging from a pigeon-sized feathered Confuciusornis to a formidable six-foot-tall feathered Beipiaosaurus. The Museum is also developing several interactive computer simulations and animations, as well as a number of videos offering behind-the-scenes glimpses of fieldwork as well as a series of discussions among leading scientists currently investigating the mysteries of dinosaur biology.

After it's run in NYC, the exhibit will be appearing at the Houston Museum of Natural Science (July 2006); the California Academy of Sciences, San Francisco (October 2006); The Field Museum, Chicago (May 2007); and the North Carolina State Museum of Natural Sciences, Raleigh (December 2007).

Posted by Ted at 07:44 AM | Comments (2)

February 04, 2005

Not as controversial as the Top 100 Guitarists of All Time

Then again, maybe it is.

The Top 50 Wide Receivers in Pro Football History. Computed all scientifical and stuff too. Let the indignation and outrage commence!

Thanks to Off Wing Opinion for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 07:17 PM | Comments (0)

Rocket Jones is a very naughty place

Jay Currie has a blog devoted to Library Internet Filters, and he performed a simple experiment.

How Ugly is Sonic Wall
This ugly: I went to InstaPundit, and, starting at the bottom, clicked on his links and wrote down which ones were blocked by SonicWALL. Here, then, is the list, along with a few more I was able to find by clicking around from other blogs.

Two things jumped right out at me. First, that I'm linked to by Instapundit. Second, that Rocket Jones is in that list with many other well-known blogs.

Farther down, Jay explains why:

I am sure this changes from day to day, depending on what you have posted about. The problem is, dumb software like this does not distinguish between discussion of something and advocacy of it. So, if you merely talk about cults, guns, nudity, racism, gambling, pornography, weapons, or drugs, your blog will be censored.

Damn, what's left?

It's an interesting site, and well worth a look. He describes his motivation thusly:

Frankly, I think the decision of the Supreme Court of the United States in the Children's Internet Protection Act case was wrong. It is virtually always wrong to censor information, especially in a library. But that is how the law in the United States stands at the moment and if a library accepts federal funding it must install internet filtering technology on all of its internet enabled computers.

He also provides links to more information about Internet Filters.

Gotta run, I'm working on a new series of posts about a fun-loving but misunderstood cult of nude gamblers who decide that guns are the only way to deal with a group of racist drug lords. Oh yeah, it's gonna have pornographic illustrations too, if I can draw the stick figures sexy enough.

Posted by Ted at 11:41 AM | Comments (1)

February 03, 2005

Just what the doctor ordered, unless you're afraid of doctors

There was a time when people were eccentric. Nowadays there's a term for every little quirk in one's personality, and if it can be described medically, then someone somewhere is going to figure out how to use that to sue someone else for money.

Direct from California -- the state that in 1986 created a task-force to promote self esteem -- comes Winokur's "Encyclopedia Neurotica," an irreverent guide to the world of neuroses, phobias and a slew of other conditions just waiting to be chronicled in the next best-selling "addiction memoir."

I don't need a book to tell me what my major malfunction is. I'm a grouch. Just ask my family.

By the way, the link on the book title goes to the Amazon page, but if you do a search there of "neurotica", the results are some rather disturbing offerings. Good thing there's a word for those folks, just so we can keep an eye on them.

Posted by Ted at 05:27 AM | Comments (2)

February 02, 2005

Hang on a second while I get into my robes

I've had an eternal fascination for all things Stonehenge (talked about it here and here - links and more), and now Alan has come up with what might be the perfect explanation for Silbury Hill on the Salisbury Plain.

It was obvious to a Surveying Engineer that to lay out Stonehenge accurately required at least 3 observation points on the horizon. Now Salisbury Plain, where Stonehenge is located, has some good sites, high ground near the horizon, except in one direction: that of Avebury.

So you need a hill, just high enough to be visible on the horizon from Stonehenge, in the close vicinity of Avebury. Finding just such a man-made hill, made as a Ziggurat from easily workeable earth, and exactly the right height, would seem to be more than just a coincidence.

Go. Read. It's cool and isn't even the main point of his post, that being archeology and ancient astronomy and history and other things I love so much. Despite what my kids say, I have no first-hand experience of those days, and 'elder statesman' only takes you so far back.

Posted by Ted at 12:02 PM | Comments (0)

Munuvians on the move

In other words, "getting things done".

annika is holding another haiku contest, this time inviting one and all to come and wax lyrical about the music group KISS. There are some strong entries there, go on and give it a go.

On the other side of the world, Simon announces that the New Blog Showcase is turning itself into a Carnival. I've already applied for the job of sideshow geek (and sent in a video of me biting the head off of a live chicken). Seriously though, this is an excellent way to discover some great new blogs that are just starting out.

Posted by Ted at 07:21 AM | Comments (1)

February 01, 2005

Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

Buy stock in Rolaids, because I have a feeling there's gonna be some bile rising on Oscar night!

Citizens United thanks Hollywood for inadvertently helping to reelect President Bush with billboard advertisements.

The advertisements feature the faces of liberal Hollywood icons Ben Affleck, Chevy Chase, Whoopi Goldberg, Michael Moore, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, and Barbara Streisand. There are two versions of the billboards "4 more years" and "W. Still President."

According to Human Events, Citizens United has purchased the use of three billboards near the Kodak Theatre, home of the Academy Awards.

Go see California Yankee for pictures of the actual billboards. LMAO.

Chris Hall is, among other things, an avid motorcyclist. Were I a biker as well (sorry, I expended my mid-life crises on crack and hookers - that's a joke for anyone at work who's reading this), I'd want to join Chris on some of his rides. Check out this article he's posted for his motorcycle club.

Kin is playing host to this week's Carnival of the Recipes. If you haven't seen this one, it's worth a perusal if'n you're gastronomically inclined. In related news, Rocket Jones will be hosting the Carnival in the near future.

We've all been there. You have a question that's just burning a hole in your mind, but dammit, there's never a negro around to ask when you need one. Glen sees a need, and fills it with his charm and good humor. That last bit is funny if you know Glen. Anyway, head on over and ask your question. G'wan, you know you wanna.

Courtesy of Matt, we get a link to a great flash animation poking fun at mustache-muffin Martha Stewart. After watching it (and catching my breath when it was over), I've decided that I might just have to watch her TV show when she gets out, just to see how prison affected her technique.

AnalogKid continues his series on self-reliance and preparations before an emergency hits. This isn't survivalist hokum, this is common sense planning that's applicable to extreme weather conditions or any other situation where the only thing you can count on is yourself. Highly recommended.

Two final quickies. No links, you can see it in the news or google it up yourself, it's all over the place.

First, the terrorists in Iraq used a young man with Down's Syndrome as a suicide bomber during the elections. The terrorists are members of Saddam's regime who've gone underground with the goal of reestablishing the old government. Anyone who thinks that America and her allies were wrong to have gone in and removed Saddam has a fucked up sense of values. Those assholes aren't insurgents or freedom fighters or resistance forces, they're terrorists who will strap explosives to a mentally handicapped child and send him off to certain death, probably assuring same by giving him a ride to the right spot, pointing out where he should go, and then remotely triggering the explosives from a safe distance away.

Second story: Girl and guy in big city get held up. Mugger has a gun. Lady gets smart-mouthed with the mugger. Mugger shoots smart-ass lady. Lady dies. Who's fault is it?

IT'S THE MUGGERS FAULT DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!

The lady was stupid, but that doesn't make it her fault. The gun seller, gun manufacturer and ammunition maker aren't at fault, and in fact are required to jump through massive numbers of regulatory hoops already. The mugger had a gun, but NYC has massive restrictions on guns already in place and it didn't help her. The mugger had the illegal gun. The mugger was robbing the couple. The mugger aimed his gun at the lady and pulled the trigger. More anti-gun laws doesn't make you safer, because the bad guys don't follow the law anyways! And if you think that anti-gun laws make it harder to get your hands on a handgun, you're only half right. It makes it more difficult for law-abiding citizens to obtain a handgun (I won't even get into the 2A issues here). If you think it makes it harder for a criminal to get a gun, then you are naive and not thinking it through, because I promise you that a vanishingly small percentage of criminals purchase their gun through normal, legal channels.

Aiiieeeee!!!! My head is going to explode from the stupidity of some people.

Coming soon: Ted's remake of the SciFi classic Scanners.

Posted by Ted at 05:39 AM | Comments (2)

January 31, 2005

Like a universal hub for oddness

Joe DeRouen's Weird Web Sites is updated weekly, and features such as:

Bible-Approved Underwear

Have you ever wanted to dress Bible-friendly but just weren't sure how? While this website won't tell you much in terms of dresses, skirts, and blouses, it does cover (no pun intended) what's underneath. The site shows examples of what bras, panties, and girdles are approved by the Bible, and which undergarments will send you straight to Hades.

Links to all plus an extensive archive make this the perfect place to lose yourself for an afternoon. Or two.

Posted by Ted at 11:46 AM | Comments (0)

Ungrateful bum that I am

I need to thank the following people for their advice, links and help when I was asking about wireless security for a home network. You guys are aces!

Victor
Rich
Stephen
Shank
GEBIV

Posted by Ted at 06:06 AM | Comments (5)

January 30, 2005

MookieRiffic no more

My daughter Rachael is blogging again, in the same place but under a new name: Down Stage Left. I believe she's going to focus more on her theater interests, but will occasionally post things like her memorable "Dead Guy of the Day" series. I'm sure her spelling will still be painful too. Can't change everything I guess.

Posted by Ted at 08:01 AM | Comments (0)

January 28, 2005

"strange, undeniable sexiness"... Yep, that's me all right.

Wackiness: 50/100
Rationality: 50/100
Constructiveness: 32/100
Leadership: 58/100

You are a SEDL--Sober Emotional Destructive Leader. This makes you a Dictator.

You prefer to control situations, and lack of control makes you physically sick. You feel have responsibility for everyone's welfare, and that you will be blamed when things go wrong. Things do go wrong, and you take it harder than you should.

You rely on the validation and support of others, but you have a secret distrust for people and distaste for their habits and weaknesses that make you keep your distance from them. This makes you very difficult to be with romantically. Still, a level-headed peacemaker can keep you balanced.

Despite your fierce temper and general hot-bloodedness, you have a soft spot for animals and a surprising passion for the arts. Sometimes you would almost rather live by your wits in the wilderness somewhere, if you could bring your books and your sketchbook.

You also have a strange, undeniable sexiness to you. You may go insane.

Of the 82232 people who have taken this quiz since tracking began (8/17/2004), 5.4 % are this type.

This test has appeared all over the place, most recently at Smoking Toaster, who's proprietor and your pal, Bitterman, has an odd definition of "hobby".

Posted by Ted at 04:05 AM | Comments (4)

January 27, 2005

There we were, enjoying the fights, when hockey broke out!

I had no idea this even existed, a site dedicated to hockey fight stats!

Thanks to Off Wing Opinion for pointing that out (via your PDA version no less).

Posted by Ted at 11:35 AM | Comments (1)

Funny

Chris Muir's Day by Day. Today's is especially good.

Posted by Ted at 06:08 AM | Comments (0)

Mookie's making noises about coming back

Recharged and revved up to get into blogging again.

Posted by Ted at 04:23 AM | Comments (0)

January 26, 2005

Click the link, darn it!

Casey, over at the Gantry Launchpad, has his one-year anniversary tomorrow (thursday, the 27th). He also notes that he's not quite reaching a milestone of 6k hits. Since he's a lot nicer than Bill, and definitely posts more often, I'm asking that each and every Rocket Jones visitor today click this link and go visit Casey. Let's put him over the top, so do it twice or even three times, and if you're a really nice person you'd leave a comment for him too.

Happy anniversary Casey, keep up the space blogging.

Posted by Ted at 05:45 PM | Comments (1)

Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

It's been awhile since I've done one of these, but rather than do my usual forty-seven "oooooh, look at this!" posts, I'll just do one great big "oooooh, look at these!" post.

First up (this is probably keeping GeekLethal over at the Ministry awake at nights), Silflay Hraka brings to light the newest model of military robot, named SWORDS.

But officials are quick to point out that these are not the autonomous killer robots of science fiction. A SWORDS robot shoots only when its human operator presses a button after identifying a target on video shot by the robot's cameras.

Ok, I feel better now, because we all know that humans are all kind and gentle creatures who hate to harm each other.

Filed under "You can't make this stuff up", Azygos tells of the Potty Bowl, which is associated with, appropriately enough, the Arizona Cardinals.

At this good, clean fun (and educational) event, Arizona Cardinal quarterback Shaun King will act as master of ceremonies and honorary "Kandoo Coach" while kids play against each other to finish the Go! Wipe! Flush! Wash! Dry! obstacle course first.

I noticed that one of the co-sponsors (alongside Pampers), was KOOL and my first thought was that those bastards in the tobacco industry were targeting toddlers in their zeal to indoctrinate new smokers. I mean, what's more natural than sitting down on the throne and lighting up a cigarette? After a more careful reading, I see that KOOL is a radio station, and judging by this event, it's probably on a par with WKRP in Cincinnati.

Meanwhile, over at Random Nuclear Strikes, we learn of this story:

Bay Area native Daniel Berk had planned to spend the Christmas holiday in Sri Lanka, getting his scuba certificate, but canceled his plans at the last minute. He missed the deadly tsunami, but on Saturday, he was killed in an avalanche while snowboarding off-trail in the Austrian Alps.

To which AnalogKid remarks:

When your name is on the Reaper’s clip board, making him switch from bermuda shorts to a parka only pisses him off.

*snicker*

Also from Random Nuclear Strikes comes the pointer to a blog called (ready for it?)...

President Boxer.

They're serious about it, but probably my favorite part is where they quote Oliver Willis who digs up some dirt on Republicans! Imagine that?!?!?! Here's a news flash - ALL POLITICIANS ARE BASICALLY SCUMBAGS!!!

The trick is selecting a scumbag who's reality most closely mirrors your own personal priorities. That said, voting for someone who refuses to acknowlege recent history (like, fer instance, claiming WMD's were the *only* reason we invaded Iraq), means that you're not just supporting a scumbag, it means your scumbag is either a) stupid beyond belief, or b) believes "a" to be true about you. As Bill Engval would say, "here's your sign".

Better yet, maybe I should just chill out and wait for the damn robot overlords. Heaven knows, they probably couldn't do worse.

Posted by Ted at 12:10 PM | Comments (0)

Putting the "Illegal" back into "Undocumented Immigrant"

There's a reason the first word of the original phrase is "illegal", although I'd go along with "Illegal Immigrant" as being even more accurate. Either way, here's what happens:

Is it so liberal that governments must pay for those who ignore the law while citizens go without? In California, the money to incarcerate more than 14,000 felonious illegal aliens from Mexico - well over $400 million - would fund the start-up costs of 20 university campuses like the new University of California at Merced, at a time when Americans (including many first-generation Mexican-American citizens) who are eligible for higher education cannot find access or financial support.

I'm not anti-immigration or anti-Mexican. I am stridently anti-illegal-immigration.

Thanks to Mad William Flint for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 11:45 AM | Comments (0)

January 25, 2005

I NEED MY HOCKEY FIX(ed)

The latest in the magnetic ribbon craze, this one in the NHL's orange and black.

Thanks to Off Wing Opinion for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 08:36 AM | Comments (0)

January 24, 2005

Star Power, Baby

Pixy asks:

When they make MuNu: The Movie, who will play you? And feel free to make nominations for the other Munus.

My very first thought was John Goodman as Rocket Jones. Which was spooky because Jennifer said the exact same thing, and then Joe Don Bak Victor thirded the nomination, followed up by Spork in Jen's comments.

Funny thing, my wife immediately said "Jim Belushi".

I'll have to give some thought to further casting, but right off the top of my head:

Jennifer played by Bridget Fonda. Tough. Smart. Sassy.
Susie played by Sandra Bullock. Ditto, kiddo.
Spork played by Michael J. Fox, for that intense yet amiable competence.
Victor played by Joe Don Baker, natch.
LeeAnn played by Janeane Garofalo, with the stipulation that she not be allowed to speak any lines not written for her by LeeAnn herself (maybe a shock collar... careful Ted, you're getting into real fantasy territory now).
Steve and Robert played by Penny Marshall and Cindy Williams reprising their roles as Laverne & Shirley. Shmeel. Shnozzle. Yip! Yip! Yip!
Michael King played by Sinbad, for no reason other than it would amuse me to no end to hear Sinbad say "Just Damn!"
Bill, played by Oscar the Grouch.

Posted by Ted at 05:42 AM | Comments (5)

January 23, 2005

I laughed, I cried, I went out and talked to my car

Whereas Lawren just found it disturbing. One of us should probably seek professional help.

Hasselhoffian geometry.

Posted by Ted at 09:20 AM | Comments (4)

January 22, 2005

blogroll matters

Finally getting around to a few that have been on my list:

Welcome to Eric's Random Musings

Both Jen and Rich have moved, their links on the right have been updated.

Waiting for Boof, an excellent SF Giants blog, has morphed into the McCovey Chronicles. Good stuff for Giants fans and anyone who appreciates excellent baseball humor and writing.

Oops, almost forgot. Phillip has moved too.

Posted by Ted at 08:30 AM | Comments (1)

Bastions of Bastardy

First we identified the Axis of Evil, now it's the Outposts of Tyranny. Bigwig of Silflay Hraka suggests the third tier should be named the Bastions of Bastardy. I like it.

Here's another discussion on it, this one in a more serious vein.

Posted by Ted at 07:14 AM | Comments (0)

January 20, 2005

I ain't apologizing either

Somebody knocked together thier list of the 50 Worst Songs of All Time. Channelling my inner-lemming, it's in the extended entry, and I've bolded the ones I actually like (or can at least tolerate).

Thanks to the Llama Butchers and Lynn S for directions to the cliff.

1. We Built This City ... Starship
2. Achy Breaky Heart ... Billy Ray Cyrus
3. Everybody Have Fun Tonight ... Wang Chung

4. Rollin' ... Limp Bizkit
5. Ice Ice Baby ... Vanilla Ice
6. The Heart of Rock & Roll ... Huey Lewis and the News
7. Don't Worry, Be Happy ... Bobby McFerrin

8. Party All the Time ... Eddie Murphy
9. American Life ... Madonna
10. Ebony and Ivory ... Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder
11. Invisible ... Clay Aiken
12. Kokomo ... The Beach Boys
13. Illegal Alien ... Genesis
14. From a Distance ... Bette Midler
15. I'll Be There for You ... The Rembrandts

16. What's Up? ... 4 Non Blondes
17. Pumps and a Bump ... Hammer
18. You're the Inspiration ... Chicago
19. Broken Wings ... Mr. Mister

20. Dancing on the Ceiling ... Lionel Richie
21. Two Princes ... Spin Doctors hey, the Second Prince wants to buy you rockets
22. Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American) ... Toby Keith
23. Sunglasses at Night ... Corey Hart
24. Superman ... Five for Fighting

25. I'll Be Missing You ... Puff Daddy featuring Faith Evans and 112
26. The End ... The Doors
27. The Final Countdown ... Europe
28. Your Body Is a Wonderland ... John Mayer
29. Breakfast at Tiffany's ... Deep Blue Something

30. Greatest Love of All ... Whitney Houston
31. Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm ... Crash Test Dummies
32. Will 2K ... Will Smith
33. Barbie Girl ... Aqua
34. Longer ... Dan Fogelberg
35. Shiny Happy People ... R.E.M.
36. Make Em Say Uhh! ... Master P featuring Silkk, Fiend, Mia-X and Mystikal
37. Rico Suave ... Gerardo
38. Cotton Eyed Joe ... Rednex
39. She Bangs ... Ricky Martin
40. I Wanna Sex You Up ... Color Me Badd
41. We Didn't Start the Fire ... Billy Joel
42. The Sound of Silence ... Simon & Garfunkel
43. Follow Me ... Uncle Kracker
44. I'll Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That) ... Meat Loaf

45. Mesmerize ... Ja Rule featuring Ashanti
46. Hangin' Tough ... New Kids on the Block
47. The Only Thing That Looks Good on Me Is You ... Bryan Adams
48. Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da ... The Beatles
49. I'm Too Sexy ... Right Said Fred

50. My Heart Will Go On ... Celine Dion

Posted by Ted at 07:08 AM | Comments (3)

January 19, 2005

Fake but accurate

Microsoft's AntiSpyware Tool Removes Internet Explorer.

Via Fark (thanks to Mookie for pointing it out).

Posted by Ted at 08:29 PM | Comments (0)

Homebody living vicariously

That's me. Scott and Eileen are planning a one-year tour of the US, taking the backroads and poking into all the little odd nooks and crannies of our country.

From their FAQ:

Why are you doing this? Two reasons. One, to explore the less-charted areas of America and capture what we find in words, still photography, and moving images. Two, to audition thousands of small American towns for the role of our new hometown. At the end of our trip, we'll choose one of them as the place to start a family.

Like CG Hill of Dustbury, I'll be adding them to the blogroll (eventually) so I can keep an eye out on their progress.

Posted by Ted at 11:55 AM | Comments (0)

January 18, 2005

Happy Birthday

My all-time favorite, Archie Leach, aka Cary Grant. Red has stories and photos.

Posted by Ted at 08:13 PM | Comments (0)

Geek Reminiscing

I had an Atari 800. Went into hock to pay for that pitiful thing, but man was it great. Two of my favorite games for it were SCRAM, a nuclear power-plant simulation, and an Avalon Hill (I think) wargame where you built up a military industrial complex until one side attacked and then you nuked it out. Think Battleship, the Armageddon edition.

The Atari was also the last PC that I knew intimately. In those days if you wanted to do anything beyond primitive BASIC gaming you had to be familiar with the chipsets and command sets available. Hell, I wrote a simple parser/compiler and a disk drive controller using BASIC.

The "bible" for Atari geeks like me was called De Re Atari. All About Atari. I owned a copy, well worn in a 3-ring binder. It's cool that you can still reference it, but now it's online.

Posted by Ted at 12:04 PM | Comments (3)

Iraq: Country with big shoulders

A comparison between the murder rates of Iraq and Chicago. Sure, it's just fun with numbers, but that doesn't mean a pearl of wisdom isn't hiding in there.

Found via Diplomad.

Posted by Ted at 06:02 AM | Comments (1)

January 15, 2005

"Freakin Hysterical"

That's the description given by Mr Helpful for this Fark piece, and he's absolutely right. I had tears in my eyes as I read this college paper. Go. Now. Laugh.

Posted by Ted at 09:10 AM | Comments (2)

January 14, 2005

Google-a-montage

This is too cool.

Found at Mandarin Designs, and you can look here for help on screen grabbing your montage if you need it.

Posted by Ted at 04:10 AM | Comments (0)

January 13, 2005

David Letterman does a CBS News Top 10 List

Over at Q&O.

My favorite:

5. Conclude each story with comical "Boing" sound effect.

That's a no-brainer.

Posted by Ted at 12:43 PM | Comments (0)

Because two pretty ladies suggested it

From Dawn, who saw it at LeeAnn's.
Stephen did it as well.

Here's the first sentence of the first post made during each month of 2004, kinda like a Reader's Digest condensed version of Rocket Jones:

January
The Redskins fired Barney Rubble Steve Spurrier.

February
I'm awake, and I'm one unhappy camper.

March
Ultimate Band List is a site with tons of information and links to official band website and fansites.

April
March 2004 will go down in the family history as one rotten month all around.

May
Might post more this evening.

June
I had one of those oddly productive weekends where you look back and say "wow, I got a lot done!"

July
Since there's been such a hue and cry (translation: nobody asked) about the secret identities of our intrepid NogMeisters, I've decided to give some clues about who they are and what they look like.

August
Here's your chance to write cheers for the Hot Jets cheerleaders!

September
A sequel to Clerks is on the way.

October

I see dead people, and most of them are wearing Cubs uniforms.

November
As usual, the people hosting BattlePark ran a great event.

December
Since everyone missed it in the Blogger Bowl post below, here is an explicit link to my newest fans: Rats for Rockets.

So let's see...
May and November referred to rocket launches, August, October and December talked about sports and the fantasy football league, while January combined sports and Redskins-bashing. The nog was mentioned in July, and September was a movie reference. Tack on the link to some interesting place on the net from March and that's not a bad description of this place, eh? Not bad at all.

Posted by Ted at 06:01 AM | Comments (0)

January 12, 2005

Bob Marley returning home

He's currently resting in Jamaica, but his wife is making plans to exhume his remains and have them reburied in Ethiopia, his spiritual home.

Doesn't matter where his physical presence is, his music lives on.

Posted by Ted at 11:50 AM | Comments (1)

Will I be going to hell just for wanting one?

Religious action figures, courtesy of the Jesus Christ Superstore!

Thanks to Rambling's Journal for the pointer. For the record, I agree with him when he says this is so over-the-top that it's meant to offend everybody. Check out their version of the Last Supper!

Posted by Ted at 11:45 AM | Comments (2)

They held a meeting, and I'm "going day-oun"

Ill will over the quote controversy refuses to die over at Sanity's Edge. But you know what? Screw 'em. I'll just use that genius and cunning and outflank 'em all once again.

That's right, you guys are *all* added to the blogroll! Even Simon and Jim, who are already there, but get a second link.

Take that!

Posted by Ted at 06:04 AM | Comments (4)

January 11, 2005

"Ted’s obviously a genius."

So says Paul over at Sanity's Edge. Right out there in the open too, not all hidden in the comments or in an extended entry.

Long story short: Paul was looking for a new quote for his sidebar and decided to make it a contest. Lots of great entries, but mine won. Because I'm a f*cking cheater genius.

Just to prove there's no hard feelings between myself and the little people, I'll bestow links. Dortch. Shank. Oorgo. Casey. Jim. I'll do more than that, I'll even recommend them because they're smart people (even though none of them link to Rocket Jones dammit (except for Jim)). I know they're smart because they read Paul, and Paul's obviously a genius.

It takes one to know one.

Posted by Ted at 04:48 AM | Comments (6)

January 10, 2005

Random Nuclear Strikes

The guys over at RNS have been on a roll the last few days, and have something worth reading every day.

From Mom, a really funny joke. Too true by half too.

They also link to a guy who acts unprofessional. I'd seen this the other day and meant to link to it, but forgot. Do yourself a favor and go read it now. Really.

Someday the shit might hit the fan where you live, in a big way. Are you prepared for that day? Have you ever even given it some thought? Check out "For Ourselves, By Ourselves". That link is to the 4th part, and there are links there to the first three parts. Most of the time I throw these links around and don't really expect many folks to click them, but... well, I'd go so far as to say it's required reading.

There's a regular over at RNS name of Rivrdog, who has his own site. Good stuff there. Drop by and look around. He posts boobs too.

Posted by Ted at 07:54 PM | Comments (1)

Short and pointed

I'll quote entire:

NEW YORK (AP) - Four CBS executives were fired Monday following the release of an independent investigation into a "60 Minutes Wednesday" story about President Bush's military service that relied on forged documents.

The network fired Mary Mapes, producer of the report; Josh Howard, executive producer of "60 Minutes Wednesday" and his top deputy Mary Murphy; and senior vice president Betsy West.

Posted by Ted at 11:55 AM | Comments (2)

Odd little tidbits from the world of NHL hockey

From The Sporting News:

... as if the NHL hasn't had enough bad publicity in recent months, BusinessWeek magazine has named [NHL commissioner] Gary Bettman one of the worst managers in the United States in 2004.

In selecting Bettman to this list, the magazine cited the "shambles" of the NHL's and the "weak TV deal" he signed last June with NBC, leading to the conclusion that the NHL was now "a second-tier sport" in the United States.

It's unknown what Bettman's opinion is of this dubious honor, but there are more than a few NHL players and fans that consider BusinessWeek's assessment of the commissioner to be quite accurate.

The NHL gets a huge boost every four years come Olymipics time, and people know about the "Miracle on Ice". Thanks to inept marketing and a refusal to adapt the rules to correct readily apparent problems with game play, the NHL has squandered every chance to become a major sport in the US.

So how does the well-connected fan channel his frustration over the labor impasse? This guy bought Hockey cards. Problem is, he used a government credit card to do it.

Donald Billing, a former director of Measurement Canada, was charged with 11 counts of fraud. Police say he used government credit cards to buy hockey cards valued at approximately C$185,000 ($150,000), and tried to pass off the purchases as office supplies.

He's Canadian, so the NHL strike just has to be a mitigating circumstance, right?

Posted by Ted at 11:46 AM | Comments (5)

Need a sword?

What luck! This site just happens to sell swords (and other weapons) of all kinds.

Posted by Ted at 05:05 AM | Comments (0)

I have one of these!

They call it the Hot Lix Tequila Lollipop, I call it a bug sucker. It's a tequila flavored sucker with a real worm embedded inside.

I got it as a gift, and it's too unique to actually eat. That's my excuse story and I'm sticking to it.

Posted by Ted at 04:54 AM | Comments (0)

January 08, 2005

A couple from J-Walk

J-Walk Blog is a nifty place to visit because he updates frequently during the day and it's often a link to something really cool.

Two recent examples:

Use your mouse to write your name in the snow. Don't worry about running out if you've got a long name, because your capacity is virtually (ahem) unlimited.

Someone's collection of unusual LP cover art. I love this kind of kitsch!

I've mentioned album covers before at Rocket Jones too.

Posted by Ted at 08:20 AM | Comments (0)

January 07, 2005

Because "It's A Wonderful Life" done by bunnies isn't twisted enough - 1

See a little of the ol' slap and tickle, Lego style. I especially like the lego dude with the camera, it adds an authentic sleazy touch.

Be warned though, the guy that did the site is seriously sick.

Posted by Ted at 08:08 PM | Comments (2)

January 06, 2005

Illegal Alienin' for Dummies

Courtesy of the Mexican government, a comic book giving their citizens handy tips on dealing with their wanderlust and the gringos they'll encounter on the way.

I love the "translation" provided by the guys at Q&O, and they kept my blood pressure under control as well. You can probably guess what my reaction was when first hearing about this.

Posted by Ted at 09:38 PM | Comments (1)

Meanwhile, back in the laboratory...

I've been playing with more HTML and CSS over at the Skunkworks. Feedback appreciated, as always.

Posted by Ted at 02:19 PM | Comments (1)

I'm a font junkie

This site, SharkShock, has a bunch of cool fonts you can download for free. The link takes you to the main page, just click on the "font" button and become immersed in font-infested sharkness.

Posted by Ted at 05:52 AM | Comments (6)

HistoryShots

You may have seen their blogads on some sites, offering their "History of US Political Parties" posters. I was intrigued and followed the links and also found their "Race to the Moon" poster. Very cool.

Posted by Ted at 04:18 AM | Comments (1)

January 05, 2005

What do you believe in?

Red, over at The Sheila Variations, points the way to an article that asks:

"WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IS TRUE EVEN THOUGH YOU CANNOT PROVE IT?"

This very question was asked of 100 (in her words) "big brainiac-types" and they provided some truly thought-provoking answers and visions.

Right off the top of my head, I believe you should head over to The Sheila Variations and read her take on it, and then follow her link to the actual article. Cool stuff.

Immediate Update: Jay of Sophont has his take posted as well, including this dandy little snippet:

I believe in science. Unlike mathematical theorems, scientific results can't be proved.They can only be tested again and again, until only a fool would not believe them.

I cannot prove that electrons exist, but I believe fervently in their existence. And if you don't believe in them, I have a high voltage cattle prod I'm willing to apply as an argument on their behalf. Electrons speak for themselves.

That's a quote from Seth Lloyd, a Quantum Mechanical Engineer from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

Posted by Ted at 12:10 PM | Comments (0)

January 04, 2005

Worst Songs of 2004

And I tell ya, I gotta agree. Incidentally, my sides hurt from laughing as I read it.

Thanks to Derek for pointing that one out. Feel better, guy.

Posted by Ted at 12:07 PM | Comments (3)

Ripple Fire*

Rob at Left & Right notes that the US Navy ship Bonhomme Richard is very much in the thick of the tsunami relief effort. He also reminds us that this is the ship that nitwit Pablo Paredes was assigned to. You may recall him as the asshat who refused to report to his ship as a protest against the Iraq war.

What's the protest now, Pablo? Is Chimpy McShrub Co and his cronies at Halliburton invading Indonesia in an act of illegal humanitarian aid?

Because of your actions, there is one less person providing relief to the area.

Right on, Rob!

Moving along to other naval news, the folks at Silent Running posted a little tidbit about the urgent need for fresh water in the devastated regions, and wouldn't you know it, naval ships happen to be pretty damned good at generating fresh water - up to one half million gallons per day from a Nimitz class carrier alone (we have two carrier groups in the region I believe).

I'd consider that a dual-use weapons platform, eh?

The Indian navy is also pitching in in a big way:

The Indian Navy Tuesday cleared Sri Lanka's key Galle port after an extensive operation to remove sunken vessels there as part of the largest peacetime initiative mounted by the country's armed forces post tsunami.

Crews of the Indian ships have set up field kitchens and medical aid stations, passed out supplies, and an Indian hospital ship is anchored at one location to provide additional medical assistance. A second hospital ship is enroute.

Australian naval aviation isn't just working harder, they're working smarter:

"The Iroquois [helicopter] is probably the quickest capability that we can deploy forward," he said.

"It's got a light footprint, so it doesn't take quite as much equipment and personnel to get it moving quickly.

"So we found that the Iroquois was something that we could put on at very short notice."

But Australia had more modern Black Hawk helicopters and heavy lift Chinooks on standby to send to Banda Aceh if they were required, he said.

"Obviously they could do significantly more, but the early assessment that we've made here is that there is a significant amount of other helicopters here already," Lt-Col Steel said.

He said the RAAF had moved enough spare parts for the Iroquois to remain in Aceh for up to three months, while ground crews had been told to expect a stay of at least a month.

The French are assisting as well, sending military ships to Sumatra in coordination with other relief efforts:

The Jeanne d'Arc, a ship carrying six helicopters and two units of engineers, and the Georges Leygues, a frigate, were to leave Djibouti Tuesday, the defence ministry said.

The Jeanne d'Arc was transporting 6,000 food rations, 800 tonnes of water and water treatment equipment, five tonnes of medicine and field medical posts, it said.

I've just touched on what's out there, and it just kinda flowed that this was naval oriented. I also heard this morning that the donations to the Red Cross have already matched what was collected for last year's hurricane relief in Florida. There's hope for this ol' world, because it's full of people like these who help in whatever way they can.

*Ripple Fire is the process of launching several rockets in rapid succession. The military version features big booms at the receiving end.

Posted by Ted at 11:59 AM | Comments (0)

Say hello

Sadie is a new Munuvian, and her place is at Fistful of Fortnights. Permalink is over on the right. Yay!

Weaselteeth is another new Munuvian. Again, Yay! (that's the traditional Munuvian greeting, ya know)

Same for Naked Villiany, except that he's not a Munuvian, and his permalink is farther down on the right with the other non-Munuvian bloggers. Give us time, we're assimilating as fast as we can.

Posted by Ted at 06:06 AM | Comments (2)

Downloadable Wallpapers

A beautiful selection of the best space photos of 2004, in various sizes to fit your monitor.

Posted by Ted at 04:51 AM | Comments (0)

January 03, 2005

Artist Kelly Freas

Artist Kelly Freas passed away today at age 82 of natural causes.

In a career that spanned more than 50 years, Freas illustrated the covers or the pages of books by writers including Isaac Asimov, Robert Heinlein, Arthur C. Clarke, A.E. Van Vogt, Poul Anderson and Frederik Pohl.

I knew Kelly Freas best from his illustrations in Analog, the Science Fiction magazine, but he was probably better known for his work that graced the covers of Mad Magazine for many years.

Beginning in the 1950s, he spent seven years as the main cover artist of Mad Magazine, creating stylishly detailed portraits and helping to make famous Alfred E. Newman, the freckled, front-tooth-deprived purveyor of the phrase, "What? Me Worry?"

He also did other work including an album cover for Queen and the original Skylab patch design for NASA.

Update: De Doc has a nice post up about the passing of this artistic giant.

Posted by Ted at 04:30 PM | Comments (1)

Google is your friend, but you've heard me say that before

You may have seen this on 60 Minutes last night, during a piece they were doing on Google. There's also been a fair amount of buzz on the 'net about this, but just in case you weren't aware...

Go to the Google page and type in "books about xyz", where xyz is anything you want (for instance, I tried "stonehenge" and then "submarines"). When your search results are returned, at or near the top will be a listing marked by several colorful books. These are links to online copies of books. But that's just surface cool, because this feature goes much farther.

Click on a listed book link, and you'll see the scanned pages of the book. But over on the left side is a search box. Yepper, the entire text of the books are searchable! How cool is that?

Go play and be amazed. Thank you Al Gore, for making this all possible.

Posted by Ted at 12:15 PM | Comments (1)

Who was Harris Burdick?

I was thinking about making this a series, but I'm not sure I have the time to do it up right. At least for now, I'll post the story and link, and I might revisit later.

In the 1950's, Burdick presented himself and his drawings to a publisher who was fascinated by them and wanted to read the stories that the pictures illustrated. Burdick promised to return the next day with those stories but did not keep the appointment. The publisher tried for many years to find the man but was never able to discover who Burdick was or what had happened to him.

Then, in the '80s, the publisher showed the images to an author friend -- hence the book, published in 1984.

When the author received the pictures from the publisher, he was also given a box containing dozens of stories written over the years by the publisher's children and their friends. He read and found all of them remarkable -- some bizarre, some funny, some downright scary -- the makings of another great book.

Since Burdick never did return as promised, you'll have to write your own stories. You have a jump start, as Harris Burdick had written a title and caption for each picture.

-- from The Mysteries of Harris Burdick by Chris Van Allsburg

Chris Van Allsburg has written and illustrated other children's books, with a similar technique so the question becomes, was there really a Harris Burdick?

And does it matter?

This looks ideal for exercising the creative writer inside you or for firing up a child's imagination. Even a child too young to write can be encouraged to tell a story based on the picture.

This nifty site has all of the mysterious illustrations and more links to some of the creative writing submitted by students as inspired by the pictures.

As a teaser, I've included the first picture, complete with title and caption in the extended entry.

If you'd care to, write a story based on it and link back to this post, or send me the link and I'll include it. If the response is favorable, maybe we'll do more of them. I'd especially love to hear the tales from the little ones. Those can be magic.

ARCHIE SMITH; BOY WONDER
A tiny voice asked, "Is he the one?"
Burdick01-sj.jpg

Posted by Ted at 05:38 AM | Comments (0)

January 02, 2005

Rambling all over the quadrant

Need advice? Ann Landers too tame and Dear Dotti too conventional? Try this column. The questions seem rather typical:

"Jane" and I have been in the same sorority for two years, and we were best friends from the time we met at freshman orientation. Last week I found Jane in bed with my fiance "John." I have been deeply hurt and don't know what to do. I can't break my engagement with John or he'll take his credit card back. And I just couldn't stand to look at Jane at the mixer last night. Do you think we should all go to some sort of counseling?

What a bunch of touchy-feeling crap. You need a dose of Klingon wisdom (edited for brevity):

The first thing you will need is a spear. If you don't have a conventional spear, any long sharpened wood will do. Now, go to Jane's house... Leaving her writhing body impaled on her front lawn as a warning to others might be a nice touch.

Since we're talking Klingon (not really, I'm a fan of the original series, but far from a trekkie), my favorite book from the original series is called The Final Reflection. Besides an early alternative view of the Klingon Empire (much different than as realized during the many incarnations of the Star Trek universe), the book revolves around the Klingon equivalent to human chess, known as Klin Zha. The glimpses of the game in the book are fascinating and not surprisingly have been formalized and expanded by trekkies. This site has the rules and many variations here, including this PDA version that I'll be downloading and testing just for fun.

But I digress (yeah, like I have a point). The best of the original Star Trek books (to my mind) were the ones where the focus was primarily on the alien cultures. Besides the prologue and epilogue, The Final Reflection told a great story without Kirk and the Enterprise. Only one regular makes an actual (and brief) appearance, and another is mentioned in passing. Other than that, it's all Klingon. It's very refreshing to see them as the good guys for a change. Big fun.

Another title focusing on the Klingons is Pawns and Symbols. The Enterprise crew is part of this tale, but only in a peripheral role. Once again you see the people behind the ridged foreheads and get to know the culture as more than the warriors usually depicted on television.

Coming from the other side of the sector (quadrant? nuetral zone? whatever.), is a story from deep within the Romulan Empire - The Romulan Way. Lots of outrageous SciFi action and adventure and a look inside a proud and haughty culture.

So there ya go, three of the better Star Trek books. Recommended by Rocket Jones.

Kai Kassai Klingon!

Posted by Ted at 05:06 PM | Comments (2)

December 29, 2004

One helluva benefits package

Wish mine included this perk!

Via the CheeseMistress, long may she be unelectrified.

Posted by Ted at 06:04 AM | Comments (1)

December 28, 2004

Blogger Bowl 2004 - Final

It's all over but the shoutin', as my daddy says.

In the Championship game, Munuviana's DFMoore held on to defeat Brendoman for top honors. The last of the points from last night's contest haven't been included, but they weren't enough to close the gap on Daniel. Congrats!

For third place, Victor became a victim of his own success, needing the Eagles stars to have a big game in order to take the victory (wow, three 'vic' words in one sentence!). Since the game meant nothing to the Eagles, they sat most of their starters and Victor came up short on the scoreboard. Sorry Victor, in your shoes I'd be raising hell with the Eagles. Demand season tickets for next year, maybe they'll comp you a jersey or something.

So that's it. The Rockets will be back next year, bigger, badder, and more likely to explode on the pad more explosive next year.

Posted by Ted at 06:09 AM | Comments (2)

My Moosey Fate!

The Hockey Whoopass Jamboree is still going on, and last night my Cleveland Barons (represented by a Shark wearing a monocle, natch), were blanked by the Gir's Manitoba Moose. In accordance with the prophesy rules, her logo will by displayed on my main page for the next day.

They play again tonight, so if she wins again, it'll still be there. If not, then I expect massive and prominent displayage on her page. I may have discovered her weakness, and plan to distract her with tanned cabana boys bearing tall glasses full of paper umbrellas. Us silly earth monkeys are like that.

Posted by Ted at 06:00 AM | Comments (1)

December 24, 2004

Christmas Cheesecake - one last one

Asian style, more cute than raunchy, although the last one has nudity.

Posted by Ted at 06:23 AM | Comments (0)

Christmas Trinkets

A magical site full of animated Christmas cards and music. Thanks to Gordon for pointing this one out.

Posted by Ted at 06:17 AM | Comments (0)

December 23, 2004

Now this is a happy start to the holidays

Richmond, Virginia.

Hundreds of passengers are stuck at Richmond International Airport, after an airplane edged off a runway Thursday morning and got stuck in the mud.

Of course, in true Murphy's fashion, the plane is stuck in the mud where 98% of airport traffic is blocked, at the intersection between the two main runways.

But it is Christmas, and you know there has to be some good news, right?

Bell told a WRIC reporter that the airport does not have the necessary equipment to pull the jet from the mud, and American Airlines is locating the equipment and will get it to Richmond.

Maybe not.

Posted by Ted at 11:45 AM | Comments (0)

December 22, 2004

Still time to return this one before Christmas

My buddy Rich (hahaha, I made a funny), gives the lowdown on the trendy new Senseo coffee maker that they've been pushing hard this holiday season.

He's moving his blog, so I'm going to copy the whole thing in the extended entry, and I'll update his link as soon as I get it.

Perfect

The Phillips Senseo Coffee Maker

I researched this item before I bought it. Take a look at these exciting excerpts from the various web sites where I found information and reviews:

"The perfect cup of fresh coffee."
"Douwe Egberts is the number one roast & ground coffee brand in the UK and they have worked in conjunction with Philips to produce the perfect blend of coffee & machine for the perfect taste."
"The brewing process guarantees a perfect cup of fresh coffee within a minute every time."
"Senseo allows you to enjoy a perfect cup of coffee in your favorite flavor at any time of the day."
"..the Senseo coffee machine makes the perfect gift."
"When I've used creamer (either in liquid or powder form), the coffee is the perfect temperature and doesn't need to be microwaved."
"The intregal heating element brings your fresh cool water to the perfect temperature..."
"Philips and Sara Lee have been working for ten years to perfect this sensational cup of coffee."

ehhh, (to the reviewers) I do not think it means what you think it means. Let's journey through my personal experience.

Intro to the machine:
The machine is well built, I definitely feel it is of better build and quality than the competing machine from Black & Decker that uses the Folgers and Millstone coffee (I checked them all out at Wal-Mart). So I bought it (nevermind the whole "you shouldn't buy things for yourself right before your birthday" thing), and mailed in the $20 rebate (which I got back in less than a month, sweet!). The easy-to-follow instructions state that you need to run it through a special cycle the first time, which I did. If you find the sudden sound of a jackhammer (complete with vibration) in your kitchen to be alarming be assured that this is expected and that normal operation will not be this loud (what better way to help you wake up in the morning?).

The selection:
You get a choice of 4 kinds of pods (I hope I didn't make that sound exciting). You get Mild, Medium, Dark, and Decaf. Okay. Now I enjoy a nice cup of black, I really do, but lately I've discovered this Toasted Almond creamer in the dairy section of the supermarket and am really hooked on it, especially for my first cup of the day (coffee snobs don't bother to comment). So I figure big deal, when I don't want Mild, Medium, or Dark I'll just add some flavored creamer and I'll be happy.

The brew:
Okay, I'm ready, this is exciting! I put in the podholder for a single cup and drop in a Medium pod. The machine is on, warmed up, and ready with my cup awaiting perfect delicious coffee. I press the button for single cup and there is noise, although thankfully not of the jackhammer variety, think more like hammerdrill. Did I run the special cycle correctly? After rechecking the directions I had. Okay, well the cup brewed quickly and my next disappointment caused me to snatch up the manual again. After some frantic reading I've found that a "cup" of coffee is 4 ounces (WTF!?). Whatever, next time I'll just brew the double cup.

The perfect cup:
I pour in a little creamer. I still need to throw the used pod in the trash but First, let's drink, me from my glass, and.. the flavor is exactly what I expected, delicious toasted almond. The first sip was tentative, I find it irksome to burn my tongue you see, and it wasn't HOT. In fact, I drank down the rest of the cup immediately. This just won't do, my coffee needs to at least stay hot for the first part of my ride to work in the morning. Even black the coffee is drinkable right out of the brewer. I whipped out a thermometer (a cooking thermometer, not one of the rectal variety) and measured the coffee temp right as it was dripping into my cup - 155 degrees (who knew the tongue was so mighty?). I'll have to get around to measuring the temperature of my regular drip brewer and update this for comparison I suppose.

The FAQ:
Something must be wrong. It's always possible to get a bad unit. I checked the FAQ on the manufacturer's web site and find the question "My coffee is not hot. Why?" (YAY! Someone has had the same problem and the solution is a click away!). Solution: "When you first turn on the coffee machine, we suggest that you run a one-cup brew cycle with an empty pod holder in place. This will ensure that the boiler is heated to proper brewing conditions and that you will have a hot cup of coffee. Another suggestion is to rinse the cup or mug with hot water a couple of times." WTF!? You're telling me that to get my perfect cup of coffee that is brewed at the perfect temperature with the perfect grounds I have to defeat some of the allure of this machine by taking extra time to run a cycle of just water or to heat up my cup first??

The complaint:
Time to write the company. Unlike some companies it was actually easy to find the proper link and write them an email. And also unlike some companies I got a quick response (very nice). The email I sent goes like:

"What should the temperature of the coffee be as it drips into the cup? I have measured mine at 155 degrees and that seems to be low, it is not quite hot enough for my ride in to work or even to drink at a leisurely pace relaxing at home without additional heating in the microwave.

BTW, the suggestion in the FAQ about rinsing your cup with hot water is not acceptable to ask of your customers and having to run a cycle with no coffee or pod holder is also poor advice and reduces one of the benefits of using your machine (speed). The low temperature is one of three disappointments I have with your product, the others are the lack of variety in compatible product for brewing, and the horrendous noise the machine makes as it brews my cup (yes, I have run the initial cycle as required in the instructions). For a product that is supposedly used by so many people I find these flaws surprising, unless the product sold in Europe is different than that sold here in the US."

The response:
The first response was to let me know that they were sorry that I was not satisfied with their product and that they would forward my email on to the proper people to help me. Okay, good. The next email I got was:

"The temperature range for coffee in the Senseo machine is 72 degrees C (162 F) to 90 degrees C (194 F). We are looking into the possibility of having Senseo coffee pods with flavored coffee. You are correct that there is a distinct noise and vibration during the brewing cycle."

Uhhh, hmmm. Okay. The perfect temperature appears to lie between 162 and 194 F. I just stared at this for a minute (and then stared at again when writing this blog entry). Maybe there is a way to get the upper end from this machine, so I wrote back. I told them I was good with tools and comfortable working with thing that are electrical in nature and would be willing to adjust the thermostat if they would explain how I could do this. The reply I got was:

"Unfortunately, the temperature is determined by the thermostat and the thermostat is not adjustable. Thank you for your interest in Senseo."

You've got to be kidding me. The perfect coffee maker's quality control allows a 32 degree (f) variance in the temperature of the brewed coffee!?! (And remember, "Philips and Sara Lee have been working for ten years to perfect this sensational cup of coffee.") TEN YEARS for a rumbling loud coffee maker that makes warm coffee (sigh). I do still use it, but only because it IS much faster than my regular coffee pot, even though I have to warm it in the microwave.

What I REALLY want is a Keurig machine, but they are a little out of my price range (another item on my "if I win the lottery I can't wait to buy" list). We have one at my office, and compared to everything else, it borders on being a magical device. No review on that one, but to put the Senseo up against it in a competition would be inconceivable.

Posted by Ted at 06:02 PM | Comments (3)

Christmas Cheesecake

Actually, it's stronger than cheesecake, but still oh-so-yummy (link definitely not safe for work)!

Thanks to Wegglywoo for pointing this one out.

Posted by Ted at 01:16 PM | Comments (2)

December 21, 2004

SimTerror 2005

The folks at Silent Running are going to be conducting an interesting experiment.

SIMTERROR '05

An interactive blog-based hypothetical scenario in which a terrorist attempt to stage an attack on Australian soil will be simulated in real time, over two weeks in January 1985.

Introduction

Bloggers have opinions. It's what we do. But how many of us have actually wondered what we might do, and how we might respond, in the event of a major terrorist attempt at replicating a 9/11 scale attack? It's all very well for us to opine to our hearts content about what the West ought to do in the face of a generalised threat from radical Islam, but how would the blogosphere respond in an actual emergency? Can we put ourselves emotionally in that position? It isn't easy, is it?

Would we fall to pieces? Would we be simply struck dumb? Would we urge massive lashing out in retaliation? Or would blogs become a useful resource of opinions, options, information, argument and debate? Would it become the closest thing this planet has to a gigantic neural network of linked minds, all concentrated on a single issue?

SIMTERROR '05 is an experiment designed to help us think about the ways blogs might be able to respond to a sudden crisis using a simulation of real world events, but getting blogs to respond as if the events were real. In a sense, SIMTERROR 0'5 will be the first test of the Emergency Blogger System.

The Simulation

Beginning on Sunday, January 1st, at 12 noon, Australian Eastern Time, the blog "Silent Running" will go live as the central information hub of the exercise. It will run news items in real time, based on the decisions taken by the various bloggers playing the roles of significant leaders in this exercise. Those decisions and actions will go through "Silent Running" blogger "Tom Paine", who will act as umpire.

The players will be presented from time to time with updates on the situation as it unfolds, and their responses will help shape the simulation. Once it starts, no-one, not even the umpire, will know how things will turn out.

They have a dedicated Yahoo group set up and the list of players includes many prominent bloggers. Set your bookmarks, because no matter what happens, it's going to be fascinating. I'll be watching this one closely.

Posted by Ted at 06:10 AM | Comments (4)

When they outlaw gays with guns, then only outlaw gays will have guns

Forgive the title. Or not. Whatever.

San Francisco has decided to follow in the footsteps of our nation's capital and ban possesion of firearms within city limits. In case you didn't know, Washington D.C. is also the murder capital of the USA, and believe me when I tell you that it's not because of gang-related strangulations. They also expect law-abiding citizens to just turn in their firearms, which will go far in improving the survival rate of criminals in the city.

Practical example: rob a house where the owner might have a gun or rob a pizza place where corporate policy is "be unarmed". Tough choice, eh? Now apply that concept to an entire city.

I've seen this all over the net, but Publicola was the first to bring it to my attention. He's got more, including the text of the proposed law too.

Posted by Ted at 05:45 AM | Comments (2)

December 20, 2004

Blogger Bowl Playoff Update

Just because I didn't make the playoffs doesn't mean I don't care how it turns out, especially since fellow Munuvians Daniel and Victor are in.

In the first game, Daniel easily handled the inexplicably mediocre Fire Ants. The Fire Ants shared a piece of first place the entire season, so their falloff in production came at the worst possible time for them. Buh-Bye.

In the other game, it looks like another upset in the making. This time Brendoman holds a fair lead over Victor's Rats of Chaos. Victor needs a big game tonight from Miami receiver Chris Chambers to pull this one out. It could happen.

Posted by Ted at 06:03 AM | Comments (2)

December 19, 2004

Man, those guys are everywhere

Via Dustbury, I learned about Unsafe Search, an idea whose time has come. Basically, they first do a universal Google search on your phrase, then a second one with the full adult-filter applied. Then they remove all the hits from the nice, leaving just the naughty. Obvious and brilliant. But when I went there to check it out, what do I find?

It's a shame when someone searching for pornographic material related to, say, llamas, is forced to slog though many pages of perfectly innocuous llama sites before finally hitting upon the llama porn he was looking for.

I don't know guys, I never took the phrase link whoring as a literal description. I think this also proves that those online polls are full of crap.

This also gave me a chuckle (and it's work safe):

And nobody who does a Google search for "nice tits" wants to find a site like this one.

That site too, while perfectly harmless, has a nice sense of humor about the subject.

Posted by Ted at 08:24 AM | Comments (0)

Probably too late for Christmas, but Valentines Day is doable

Send these folks a photo of your tattoo, and they'll recreate it as a piece of silver jewelry. Tres chic, as my biker friends would say.

Posted by Ted at 08:01 AM | Comments (1)

December 17, 2004

Need a good laugh?

A Perfectly Cromulent Blog, where you'll get such wisdom as:

(discussing what hot dog condiments reveal about your personality) I'm largely ambivalent on the subject of corn dogs, however. On one hand, there are a limited number of useable toppings. On the other, any foodstuff that leaves you with a potentially deadly weapon afterwards is all right by me.
Posted by Ted at 12:08 PM | Comments (1)

The beauty of simplicity

Kaya no te wo
Hitotsu hazushite,
Tsuki-mi kana!

A simple haiku, written in the 1700's by the Japanese poetess and Buddhist nun Chiyo.

Her challenge was to write about a square, a triangle and a circle within the 17 syllables of a single haiku, and it is said that she immediately responded with the above verse. Here's the english translation:

"Detaching one corner of the mosquito-net, lo! I behold the moon!"

The top of the mosquito-net, suspended by cords at each of the four corners, respresents the square. Letting down the net at one corner converts the square into a triangle. The moon represents the circle.

There are many more beautiful pieces at the link above.

Posted by Ted at 05:27 AM | Comments (0)

December 16, 2004

Damn straight it's all about me

trees.gif

Courtesy of 'Tis the Season, and found via the effervescent Squipper!

Ho x 3 indeed.

Posted by Ted at 05:55 AM | Comments (0)

December 15, 2004

One sad goodbye, one happy hello

Sgt Hook is signing off. Thanks to Jennifer for passing on that sad news.

Rachael Lucas is back as Blue-Eyed Infidel. She was the first blog I ever discovered, and if you thought she was full of ranty mc-rants before, well lookout!

...this blog is not going to be as nice as Piquant Rants. Yeah that's right I said not as nice.

Curse words will be used. Insults tossed forth carelessly. That sort of thing. My former blog got to be markedly unpleasant for me the minute I started worrying what elderly relatives or future in-laws or my more conservative section of readers would think if I said I hope Barbra Streisand suffers from chronic yeast infections.

So screw all that. No more touchy-worry-cringey manners. You no likey, you go now!

I'm so looking forward to reading her again. Thanks Jeff for pointing out her new home!

Posted by Ted at 11:59 AM | Comments (0)

December 14, 2004

I'm really really sorry Daniel (on the inside)

So please ignore the happy dance and taunting, nano-toast.

Thanks to a career game from Titans receiver Drew Bennett, I beat Daniel in this week's Blogger Bowl matchup. Going into Monday night's game, he was up by 13 points, which was a lot closer than I figured it would be since he's one of the top teams in the league and the Rockets have been hovering near .500 most of the season. Apparently he's on the Santa's 'bad boy' list, because we rose up to righteously smite him. And the horse he rode in on.

What makes this doubly special is that I get to do my happy dance with the lovely, talented and loyal Hot Jets cheerleaders!

Cindy, of Dusting My Brain!
Wegglywoo, of On the Beach at the End of the World!
Sarah, of Trying To Grok!
Kat, of Mostly Fluff!
Big Hair, of Left & Right!
Jennifer, of Jennifer's History and Stuff!
Dawn of Dawn Enterprises!
annika, of annika's journal!
Denita, of Who Tends The Fires!
Gir, of Your Moosey Fate!
LeeAnn, of The Cheese Stands Alone!
Heather, of Angelweave!
Margi, of Margi Lowry!
Nic, of Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax!
Lemur Girl, of... uh, Lemur Girl!
Lynn S., of Reflections in d minor!
Susie, of Practical Penumbra!
Blogoline, of Blogoline's Journal!
Stevie, of Caught In The XFire!
Helen, of Everyday Stranger!
Mookie, of MookieRiffic!
Tink, of Flitting Here and There!

This is it for the Rockets in this year's fantasy season. I finished out of the playoffs in 6th place with a 6-7-1 record. Daniel though, doormat to the Rockets that he is, did make the playoffs and I wish him the best of luck. Victor is in the playoffs too, so march on Oh Mice of Mischief!

I'd like to thank the Hot Jets for their support this year. Victor proclaimed bad juju for recruiting his girlfriend for my cheerleader squad, but I always say that when life hands you bad juju, make jujubees. I appreciate all the folks I've played against too, because the trash talk and back 'n' forth has been fun. Special thanks to Nick for setting it all up.

Posted by Ted at 06:10 AM | Comments (4)

December 13, 2004

ROFLMAO

A heaping helping of kudos to the guys at Anticipatory Retaliation for pointing out this military ode to the poncho (pdf). Take comfort Skippy, you are not alone.

Posted by Ted at 12:13 PM | Comments (0)

It's about time my true genius was recognized

It's awards season in the blogosphere, but I won something I didn't even know about the one I most coveted. That's right, I won a Windy! Go me.

Specifically, I won The Underpants Gnome Award (and don'tcha wish you knew why, neener neener). Go me.

In other Jen-related news, she's also pushing her referral contest and the prize is a stuffed bear with a skin condition and a book called White House Wisdom, which is probably one blank page. Ok, I took a second look at the bear and it's not a skin condition, it's covered with red and blue stars. Go me. Doesn't matter. I want it. So go over to Jen from here and leave a comment about how Ted deserves the damn bear so just give it to him and screw the statsmeter.

Plushy bears and Underwear Gnome Award winners. There are certain mysteries in the universe you just don't mess with, and the symmetry there is one of them. Give me the bear.

Posted by Ted at 12:06 PM | Comments (0)

Interplanetary Christmas

In an exclusive interview with NASA, Santa discusses his plans for Christmas on future space colonies.

Mars is going to start to stretch us a bit. See, it takes 687 days to go around the Sun. That's about two of our Earth years. So every other year I'll have two Christmas runs to make, the Earth-Moon run and the Mars run. We'll really have to 'haul Rudolph,' as the reindeer are fond of saying. Fortunately, a Martian day is 37 minutes longer than an Earth day, so we can still do our usual overnight delivery.

There's lots more too. Enjoy!

Posted by Ted at 04:50 AM | Comments (0)

December 11, 2004

A Space Station Christmas

Ho Ho Ho, NASA style. Here's a little bit of the story:

Astronaut Cathy Clarke opened her eyes and yawned. Mission Control was playing Jingle Bells over the intercom for about the two hundredth time. "OK," she barked into the microphone. "I'm awake and I know it's Christmas!"

Cathy, one of the crew of the International Space Station (ISS), was feeling homesick.

Back on Earth, she knew, her family was gathered around the Christmas tree, sipping eggnog and opening presents. Later they would radio from Houston, but she yearned to be with them now -- not stuck in an orbiting laboratory, 350 km above Earth, with no Christmas spirit.

Months earlier Mission Control had turned down her request for a tree. "The pine needles would just float around and poke you in the eye," they said. "It's a safety issue."

"Oh, humbug," grumped Cathy.

Never underestimate Santa Claus!

Posted by Ted at 06:43 AM | Comments (0)

December 10, 2004

Coal prices are up, so instead we get this

Bloviating Inanities is a Munuvian.

Posted by Ted at 10:29 AM | Comments (2)

Toy memories

This guy put up an excellent page in loving tribute to the toys he had as a kid in the 60's. That's my general age-frame too, so this brought back plenty of good times. Check it out and discover why our toys were cooler than the ones you grew up with.

Posted by Ted at 09:02 AM | Comments (3)

Baseball and Steroids

I've been silent about the whole subject while I worked it out in my own mind.

Bottom line: Bonds, Giambi, McGwire, Caminiti and all the rest did nothing against the rules. When McGwire took Andro, it was legal, and there's been nothing in the rulebook prohibiting steroids. Change the rules and then start enforcing them, but don't get all righteously indignant because someone looked for a legal competitive edge, found one and took advantage of it. There was a time when spitballs were allowed, but baseball didn't throw out every pitcher's record when that rule changed.

Over at Only Baseball Matters, John has been writing about steroid use and the myths and realities surrounding them for quite a while now. I really recommend visiting and reading his posts, there's an entire section devoted to the subject.

Posted by Ted at 08:10 AM | Comments (0)

December 09, 2004

Tastier than a Bumble Bar

Head on over to Son of Cheese and feast on his classic review of an organic knosh.

A nibble? But of course!

Who, in their right mind, would wander into a pet shop, spy one of those birdseed bells and think "damn, if we squarshed it flat, that'd make one fine "people snack?"

Posted by Ted at 08:07 PM | Comments (0)

December 05, 2004

More fun than the Holy Handgrenade of Antioch

A Trebuchet simulator.

Contests for distance, accuracy and power. Lots of background information too, so don't tell your kids that they'll be learning about physics while they play.

Thanks to the Ministry for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 10:30 AM | Comments (3)

Leaps and Bounds

Our online community, Munuviana has grown enormously over the last year, and Pixy deserves more good karma than I alone can give for all the hard work he does to help us thrive and survive. He also gets the best spam.

It has come to my attention that there are two new-ish Munuvians that were not on my sidebar. That has been corrected, and I extend my apologies for not adding Loren and Kirsten sooner. They're both excellent writers with interesting things to say, and you should pay them a visit.

If you're wondering about the odd order of the Munuvians over on the right, I list them in chronological order of citizenship instead of alphabetic by title. Also, clicking on the NASA MuNu meatball logo will get you to our Community blog Munuviana.

Finally, please remember the new comment policy on Rocket Jones. It makes about as much sense as anything else around here.

Posted by Ted at 07:39 AM | Comments (1)

December 04, 2004

Carnival of the Recipes

The latest is up at Fresh as a Daisy, and it includes culinary yumness from fellow Munuvian Triticale as well as my world-famous recipe for roadkill reindeer tartar.

Just kidding, my entry are the Veggie Patch enchiladas, and thanks to Dawn for suggesting the name.

And welcome to new visitors to Rocket Jones. I hope you poke around and stay awhile, and come back again. Exchange links on the sidebar? You betcha, just let me know in the comments.

Posted by Ted at 07:25 AM | Comments (3)

December 03, 2004

New Policy here on Rocket Jones

Over at Sanity's Edge, Paul is sharing a very funny story about his visit to Japan. One thing that intrigues me is the Japanese habit of everyone yelling a greeting as they enter and leave a restaurant. According to Paul, you walk in and the entire staff hollers at you, and you holler back when you leave. Or something like that.

So that's it. From now on, you come to Rocket Jones, you yell a greeting in the comments, and before you leave you yell again.

Maybe this way, next year I'll be eligible for "Best Asian Blog" award.

Posted by Ted at 12:12 PM | Comments (11)

The 10 Least Successful Holiday Specials of All Time

I don't know which is my least favorite, but there are several hilarious choices to pick from.

Listeners of radio's Columbia Broadcasting System who tuned in to hear a Christmas Eve rendition of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol were shocked when they heard what appeared to be a newscast from the north pole, reporting that Santa's Workshop had been overrun in a blitzkrieg by Finnish proxies of the Nazi German government. The newscast, a hoax created by 20-something wunderkind Orson Wells...

Don't miss the lost Star Trek Christmas episode either!

Thanks to Dean Esmay for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 12:04 PM | Comments (2)

December 02, 2004

*sniff* I could vote for that man

This line from President Bush's speech in Canada:

Paul [Martin, Prime Minister] and I share a great vision for the future: two prosperous, independent nations joined together by the return of NHL hockey.

Thanks to Debbye and Gir (who's posted the entire transcript).

Posted by Ted at 12:37 PM | Comments (0)

November 30, 2004

A handful of ass

Unfortunately, it's mine. It was handed to me by Brendoman who scored big in this week's Blogger Bowl and stomped my respectable score like a steamroller over a grape. Still, if Jamal Lewis hadn't been a last minute scratch and woulda rushed for 485 yards and scored 12 touchdowns, I coulda beat him.

Now next week I face Victor's Rats of Chaos. He's tied for first place and on a serious roll. I have two things going for me. First off, the Rocket Jones Hot Jets cheerleaders, which I'll list in a minute. And secondly, I got an interesting email last weekend with a link I found very intriguing.

This might be enough to topple the Rats of Chaos. While victory ultimately comes on the playing field, the morale-destroying effect of this kind of information cannot be ignored.

They're cute! They're cuddly! They're not naked! (see how silly that looks as a selling point ladies?) They *are* the Hot Jets!
annika, of annika's journal!
Denita, of Who Tends The Fires!
Gir, of Your Moosey Fate!
LeeAnn, of The Cheese Stands Alone!
Sarah, of Trying To Grok!
Kat, of Mostly Fluff!
Big Hair, of Left & Right!
Jennifer, of Jennifer's History and Stuff!
Heather, of Angelweave!
Margi, of Margi Lowry!
Nic, of Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax!
Lemur Girl, of... uh, Lemur Girl!
Lynn S., of Reflections in d minor!
Susie, of Practical Penumbra!
Blogoline, of Blogoline's Journal!
Cindy, of Dusting My Brain!
Wegglywoo, of On the Beach at the End of the World!
Dawn of Dawn Enterprises!
Stevie, of Caught In The XFire!
Helen, of Everyday Stranger!
Mookie, of MookieRiffic!
Tink, of Flitting Here and There!

Posted by Ted at 11:18 AM | Comments (3)

Wave of the future?

Check out this short transcript of a radio spot heard by the Everlasting Phelps. Pretty darn funny.

Posted by Ted at 09:00 AM | Comments (0)

Because there's no such thing as too many rocket pictures

Now this guy is a rocketeer. Notice on his rocket picture page, the banner at the top that says "Rocket Chronicles". Most importantly, note that the well-dressed gentleman in said banner in no way looks like a terrorist (got that BATFE?). Also, he brought along his wife, who carries a big purse full of that little paper you trade for rocket supplies.

Cool pictures Mr. Ritchie, you'll be on the blogroll next time I venture into it.

Posted by Ted at 05:13 AM | Comments (0)

November 29, 2004

Canada, California, one of those "C" places

Thanks to VegasBaby for this chuckle.

CanadaSignSharpEdges.jpg

Posted by Ted at 06:54 PM | Comments (0)

November 26, 2004

New Peeps

Smoking Toaster has me on their blogroll, along with some other familiar places. I'm honored to be included in such august company. He's funny in an evil grin kinda way, and I felt an immediate kinship when I read about his battles with cute fuzzy widdle squirrels hydroencephalic tree vermin. Go check him out, it's good stuff and a nice change after all that turkey.

In the not-even-close-to-safe-for-work department, we've got:

Kimochi-ii is a regular stop of mine, because I like to look at oriental ladies in various stages of undress (although I'll never understand the Japanese fascination for girls in "schoolgirl" uniforms). Well, the guy who runs the place has started a new blog called Erotic Zipai. The name refers to a Chinese word that means a picture of yourself, taken by yourself. In other words, a self-portrait, but it's specific to cameras. In other words (again), it's oriental ladies in various stages of undress, as photographed by their own exhibitionistic hand (and bless every last one of 'em).

I love the internet.

Posted by Ted at 07:05 PM | Comments (1)

Estrogen-laden Chaos

Women's Roller Derby is making a comeback.

Nobody's quitting their day jobs yet, but the night belongs to ladies who go by names like Syble Disobedience, Baby Ruthless and Ginger Snap. Women who leave their professional personnas at home when they lace up the skates and do battle on the banked oval.

There were at least two recent attempts to revive Roller Derby, both resulting in WWF-type extravaganza's - long on style, way short on substance. Personally, I loved old-time Roller Derby (Go Bay Bombers!), and hope these ladies can grow this into something wonderful again.

Posted by Ted at 05:17 AM | Comments (4)

November 24, 2004

Hockey Whoopass Jamboree

Better late than never.

Matt's Houston Aero's defeated my Cleveland Barons, so in accordance with the rules, his team's logo will be prominently displayed for 24 hours.

houston.gif

Not a problem, it's a pretty cool logo ('cept for the colors).

Posted by Ted at 09:00 PM | Comments (1)

One pair of Rocket-powered Roller Skates please

The legendary ACME catalog, in all its inspired glory.

Thanks to Mark of Auteriffic for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 12:17 PM | Comments (0)

More about "Top ____ Songs" Lists

From Dustbury, a link to the 1001 Greatest Singles, compiled in 1989.

Top five from that list:

1. I Heard It Through the Grapevine - "Gaye, Marvin" 1968
2. Johnny B. Goode - "Berry, Chuck" 1958
3. Papa's Got a Brand New Bag -"Brown, James" 1965
4. Reach Out I'll Be There - "Four Tops, The" 1966
5. You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin' - "Righteous Brothers, The" 1964

Next up, Roberto of DynamoBuzz nails that link I couldn't find, to Rolling Stone magazine's 500 Greatest Songs of All Time.

Here's my original post.

Posted by Ted at 06:05 AM | Comments (1)

November 23, 2004

Ding Dong and Ding Dong

Ding Dong, the bitch goes down!

Dan Rather stepping down from CBS news anchor.

he had agreed with CBS executives last summer that after the Nov. 2 election would be the right time to leave.

I'm dancing in my jammies!

Ding Dong is the sound this nutjob makes when you rattle his head.

Retired running back Ricky Williams has turned up once again, this time at a Northern California school for holistic medicine.

"I realized a while back that I have an innate ability to be compassionate,'' he told the San Francisco Chronicle, "and I saw that the strength of compassion is something that healers have and healers use.''

Not everything he says is from outer space though.

Williams' agent, Leigh Steinberg, and his attorney, David Cornwell, both think it's likely that he'll return to football next year. Steinberg calls Williams' departure "a sabbatical.''

But Williams said, "I understand their wishful thinking. It's easy math. If I play, it puts more money in their pocket.''

Nah, he's just a flake, and I still think he'll return to pro football for the bucks.

Posted by Ted at 01:29 PM | Comments (0)

(________) Gifts

Stupid Gifts. 'Nuff said.

Lame Gifts, Mother-in-Law style.

Worst Gifts (that a man can buy a woman).

Perfect Gifts, especially for the goatherder in your life.

Romantic Gifts, ranging from pure romance to downright naughty!

Which could lead to The Gift That Keeps On Giving.

Posted by Ted at 12:04 PM | Comments (0)

Blogger Bowl 2004

There was some serious excitement going on this week in the league! Besides another victory for yours truly (3 in a row, Yay Rockets!), Nick bumped off the suddenly-vincible Fire Ants and Victor claimed a share of first place by handling annika. Jim also edged Brendoman by 1 point to hang in at the middle of the pack*.

Now, cue the music and cut on the spotlights! Despite warnings from the NFL and the FCC, I'd like to introduce you to the greatest cheerleading squad both inter and outernet**. Ladies and Gentlemen, the Hot Jets!

Heather, of Angelweave!
Margi, of Margi Lowry!
Nic, of Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax!
Lemur Girl, of... uh, Lemur Girl!
LeeAnn, of The Cheese Stands Alone!
Sarah, of Trying To Grok!
Kat, of Mostly Fluff!
Big Hair, of Left & Right!
Jennifer, of Jennifer's History and Stuff!
Lynn S., of Reflections in d minor!
Susie, of Practical Penumbra!
Blogoline, of Blogoline's Journal!
Cindy, of Dusting My Brain!
Wegglywoo, of On the Beach at the End of the World!
Dawn of Dawn Enterprises!
Stevie, of Caught In The XFire!
Helen, of Everyday Stranger!
Mookie, of MookieRiffic!
annika, of annika's journal!
Denita, of Who Tends The Fires!
Gir, of Your Moosey Fate!
Tink, of Flitting Here and There!

Next week I match up against Brendoman. I'll have to play better than this week to beat him, for sure.

*Sorry for those bloggers I didn't link to, I don't know exactly who you are, and don't really have the time right now to dig.

**And no, I'm not apologizing for that either.

Posted by Ted at 05:45 AM | Comments (0)

November 22, 2004

Luuka is in da house!

Hot Swedish babe alert! If you don't hear from me in three days, send more vodka. Pictures and wild stories coming up... now where did I leave that number to the bail bondsman...

Posted by Ted at 08:10 PM | Comments (3)

November 19, 2004

A flag of flowers

Sarah shares a way cool photo and the story with it.

The 2002 Floral Flag is 740 feet long and 390 feet wide and maintains the proper Flag dimensions as described in Executive Order #10834. This Flag is 6.65 acres and is the first Floral Flag to be planted with 5 pointed Stars comprised of White Larkspur. Each Star is 24 feet in diameter; Each Stripe is 30 feet wide.

Check it out.

Posted by Ted at 07:23 AM | Comments (0)

November 18, 2004

Mmmmmmm

Weggy has posted a picture over at her place that is so... words fail.

It's not safe for work, but definitely something to see. Enough to make an atheist reconsider.

Posted by Ted at 04:22 PM | Comments (1)

Feel the synergy?

I tell you, it's a scandal that I'm not rich already. Ideas pop out of my head like golden eggs from a goose's patoot. For instance:

Gir of Your Moosey Fate is hosting this weeks Carnival of the Cats.

There's a Carnival of the Recipes making the rounds too.

Who wants to host the first Carnival of the Cat Recipes?

You saw it coming, but you continued reading anyway, didn't you?

Posted by Ted at 06:05 AM | Comments (3)

New and Approved!

Some links that should have been done long ago, now added to the sidebar.

Maelstrom (aka Rich), he flies rockets, which automatically makes him cool. He's also a heckuva nice guy and has a great joke up on his new blog.

Derek, aka Son of Cheese. Let me tell you, this guy describes restaraunt visits like DeSade described girlfriends. His toons are first rate too! Oh, and he plays rec-league hockey! Three very good reasons to pay him a visit.

Catt. I'm looking forward to meeting this funny lady and her family in the near future, since my oldest daughter will be going to school right near her neck of the woods (whatever that really means).

Jenn, who's little man plays hockey. Like she says, it ain't NHL, it's better!

Brian J Noggle, part of a duet with Munuviana's own Heather. He's smart, funny and interesting. In other words he's just like me, and since you're already here, who needs him, right? Wrong. There's no such thing as too much smartfunnyinteresting (although I'm still working on the weight thing).

Dr. Funk -- Canadian Funk? How could I pass this up?

Professor Chaos -- He linked me in a post, I'm putting him on the sidebar. Let's see if it's reciprocal. Let's see if I can spell reciprocal.

Sheila O'Malley - I have no idea how I wound up on her blogroll, but I'm a sucker for redheads good writing, so welcome to the sidebar and thanks for including me on yours. It doesn't hurt that the last O'Malley I knew was played by Tom Selleck in High Road to China. He's not my type.

Posted by Ted at 05:35 AM | Comments (2)

November 17, 2004

Aye, 'tis the truth ye be speaking

Over at 1000 Words, the latest photoshop contest is "What if Pirates Ruled the World?"

worth1000-pirate.jpg

A full broadsides to that scurvy dog Frinklin for pointing it out.

Posted by Ted at 05:46 AM | Comments (0)

I wish

Alan E. Brain (who you should be reading every day), proposes this curriculum for those who want Creationism taught alongside Evolution, and I'll give you this little bit before sending you off to read the rest:

In keeping with our American heritage, the primary theory being taught will be that of the Lakota Nation of Native Americans, and the majority of the course will concentrate on the roles of Thunderbird and Coyote, and experimental verification of the Theory. Students engaged in Advanced studies will perform a critical analysis and comparison of the primary Theory with that of the Arunta people of Northern Australia, in particular the concept of the "Dreamtime" and the role of the Rainbow Serpent.

His last line nails it:

After all, this is about "Science" and not any particular religion, isn't it?

Go. Read.

Posted by Ted at 04:57 AM | Comments (0)

November 16, 2004

My coworkers are giving me odd looks

I was laughing to near tears over this:

I mean, look, the state of Texas has a law--and it is still enforced--that says owning 5 marital aids is perfectly legal, but owning 6 is a felony. Stupid? You bet. Constitutional? You bet. And, really, I’ve never come across any situations in which more than 4 were ever needed anyway.

Not what you expect to read in the middle of a discussion about Roe vs. Wade and Constitutionality. Nice ambush, Dale.

Posted by Ted at 12:10 PM | Comments (1)

Blogger Bowl 2004

The allegedly uninteresting annika (don't you believe it!) was my opponent this past week. She's also one of the Hot Jets cheerleaders, so although she's sad about being soundly spanked (sorry, couldn't resist) in front of everyone (really, it just happens), she also got to cheer and wave her pompoms to celebrate a Rockets victory! Because we know I'm all about feelgood happytimes, vaulting into 6th place is enough excuse for me to party (in public I'm gracious, in private I dance enough to make Mark Gasteneau blush).

Also of note, congrats to Daniel for knocking off the previously undefeated Fire Ants.

So next week I face the cellar-dwelling Vehement Spittle, no pushover to be sure. I am equipped with my sturdy eye goggles and antibacterial spittle sponge just in case, and expect another resounding victory.

And as always, because they're the best and because it annoys Victor, may I present the finest group of cheerleaders to grace a virtual sideline, the Hot Jets!

annika, of annika's journal!
Denita, of Who Tends The Fires!
Gir, of Your Moosey Fate!
Tink, of Flitting Here and There!
Sarah, of Trying To Grok!
Kat, of Mostly Fluff!
Big Hair, of Left & Right!
Jennifer, of Jennifer's History and Stuff!
Heather, of Angelweave!
Margi, of Margi Lowry!
Nic, of Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax!
Lemur Girl, of... uh, Lemur Girl!
LeeAnn, of The Cheese Stands Alone!
Lynn S., of Reflections in d minor!
Susie, of Practical Penumbra!
Blogoline, of Blogoline's Journal!
Cindy, of Dusting My Brain!
Wegglywoo, of On the Beach at the End of the World!
Dawn of Dawn Enterprises!
Stevie, of Caught In The XFire!
Helen, of Everyday Stranger!
Mookie, of MookieRiffic!

Posted by Ted at 12:01 PM | Comments (2)

November 12, 2004

Hockey Whoopass Jamboree

I haven't been keeping up very well with the Hockey Whoopass Jamboree. No good reasons, just lame excuses.

But I guess I picked a good day to check back in, eh? Cleveland defeats the Manitoba Moose 3-2 in an overtime shootout! Take that, Gir!!!

Sometimes it's good to be an Earth creature.

Posted by Ted at 12:10 PM | Comments (3)

November 11, 2004

Happy Veterans Day

Say "thank you" to a veteran today (Vadergrrrl, anything more is above and beyond the call of duty *grin*). Love 'em or hate 'em, veterans are the reason that you can have an opinion of your own, and that you can express yourself freely.

And for those inclined to do a little digging, here's a site with various information about the history behind today and plenty of links for more.

Posted by Ted at 08:38 AM | Comments (0)

November 09, 2004

Fixing Hockey

This article has some interesting ideas about rule changes to improve the game.

Thanks to Off Wing Opinion for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 08:08 AM | Comments (0)

Shake Those Pom-Poms Ladies!

Once again, the Rockets are on a roll. After a decisive victory this past weekend, we once again face the lovely and talented Syble annika, who'll somehow manage to be on both sidelines in the upcoming game.

In the meantime, check out any or all of these links, each hosted by a wonderful, intelligent and sweet Rockets fan. The Hot Jets cheerleaders:
Helen, of Everyday Stranger!
annika, of annika's journal!
Lynn S., of Reflections in d minor!
Susie, of Practical Penumbra!
Blogoline, of Blogoline's Journal!
Cindy, of Dusting My Brain!
Wegglywoo, of On the Beach at the End of the World!
Dawn of Dawn Enterprises!
Stevie, of Caught In The XFire!
Mookie, of MookieRiffic!
Denita, of Who Tends The Fires!
Gir, of Your Moosey Fate!
Tink, of Flitting Here and There!
Sarah, of Trying To Grok!
Kat, of Mostly Fluff!
Big Hair, of Left & Right!
Jennifer, of Jennifer's History and Stuff!
Heather, of Angelweave!
Margi, of Margi Lowry!
Nic, of Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax!
Lemur Girl, of... uh, Lemur Girl!
LeeAnn, of The Cheese Stands Alone!

Posted by Ted at 05:21 AM | Comments (3)

November 07, 2004

Gratuitous Domestic Posting (TM) - Outdoor Division

Robert the Llama Butcher has been keeping us posted on his gripping battle against savage nature. The chaotic forces of the wild have waged unrelenting warfare upon his neat and orderly bastion of civilization, and so far in his desperation he's managed to stem the tide, but not completely halt the devastation.

Earlier this year, Robert made a public plea for help, asking any with previous experience with this sort of enemy to please assist him.

Amidst the subsequent flood of calls for napalm, claymore mines, razor wire and beamed microwave weapons (mmmmm, toasty!), my quiet advice to use human urine went unheeded.

Now I based this on two things. First, I saw it once in a movie (Doc Hollywood), and we all know that Hollywood knows what's best for us. Secondly, I asked an aquaintance I know who is something of an expert on nature. Mr. X (he asked me not to use his real name on the internet because he fears our evil government) is eminently qualified. He drives an old but functional VW microbus with an ecology sticker on the bumper and he is a member of the American Greens Party, our indigenous friends of nature.

This is what he told me; "Human urine is the perfect method of area denial against natural forces. Almost all animals will avoid an area with that scent because we're all chauvanistic biped assholes who think we own the planet."

He also told me that he recalls seeing it in a movie once. When I asked how that was possible, seeing as how he didn't own a television (evil government beaming brain-controlling waves through the screen, ya know), he admitted that someone might have told him about it.

This is an educated man in touch with the world around him. Mr. X invited me in to try his latest culinary creation: Sinsemilla Brownies with Patchouli frosting. Fortunately I was pressed for time and had to decline, but not before hearing about how he has entered variations of that same basic recipe to every Betty Crocker recipe contest since 1964. He is convinced that he has taken first prize every year, but since he dares not send his real name and address through the governmnet controlled mail system, well, the Betty Crocker people can't contact him to let him know that he's won. Such is the life of one who refuses to be a tool of the man.

Another possibility occurred to me. Robert just may not be very familiar with our wildlife in Northern Virginia. Like everything else in such close proximity to Washington DC, even the animals achieve a cunning and cynicism not encountered elsewhere in the wild (evil government mind-beams? I merely note, you decide for yourselves).

I once saw a diagram of a favorite tactic used by deer in this area. A classic case of misdirection, a deer sneaks up on a hunter behind a tree then taps his shoulder. When the hunter looks that way, the deer tiptoes away in the opposite direction, smirking like a chimp (Mr. X used that simile often during our conversation, it's kinda stuck in my mind at the moment).

But Northern Virginia deer have taken the misdirection to new levels of sophistication. They have learned from the hunters, and are now using their own camoflage. The deer in our region are now wearing coveralls and posing as county workers. Their lack of hands poses no problems, because no one expects county workers to actually be doing anything anyways. It's a near perfect disguise.

So Robert, my advice to you regarding Bambi the Balrog and his evil sidekick Thumper (who may or may not be in the employ of our evil government) is simple and direct. You don't need explosives (for this, otherwise they're big fun), all you need is a supersoaker squirtrifle and your own human bodily functions. Urinate into the tank every time you have to go. Drink plenty of beer (volume) and eat asparagus (odor) to assist. Then, next time you see a group of county workers in your neighborhood pretending to be doing roadwork or such, do a quick check. County vehicle? Jumpsuits? Multiple "workers"? Remember, misdirection works because they give you just enough to let your own mind fill in the details you expect to see. Strap on that supersoaker and charge them. Spray them with your human essence. I guarantee that you'll instantly scatter them in a panic to get away. And when they send reinforcements, probably in a different type of uniform - misdirection, remember? - greet them at your door with your supersoaker of righteousness as well.

Let me know how this works out for you, eh?

Posted by Ted at 08:25 AM | Comments (1)

November 06, 2004

The beauty of everyday

Hauntingly beautiful ice photography. Thanks to the Flea for pointing this one out.

Posted by Ted at 06:18 AM | Comments (0)

November 05, 2004

Not Royal Purple, American Purple

This is the best post I have ever read. Anywhere. Ever.

Posted by Ted at 12:50 PM | Comments (1)

International Leave A Comment Day

Here's a simple idea who's time has come. Visit five blogs you usually just lurk at, and leave a comment. Visit three blogs you've never been to before and leave a comment. Even if it's just "Hi, it's Leave A Comment Day", that's fine. We are but fragile flowers who bask in showers of attention Everyone likes a little feedback, otherwise we feel like we're just talking to ourselves. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

(cross posted to Munuviana too)

Posted by Ted at 06:07 AM | Comments (6)

November 04, 2004

Healing in every sense

Over at Captain's Quarters, Ed says this:

There is a difference between an enemy and an opponent, a distinction lost on more than a few people on both sides of our necessary and beneficial political divide. Osama bin Laden, Abu Masab al-Zarqawi, and Mullah Omar are our enemies; John Kerry and John Edwards were our political opponents, but first they are our fellow Americans.

Good words.

Remembering that, send good thoughts and prayers towards Mrs. Edwards, who has been diagnosed with breast cancer. My best wishes for a complete recovery.

Posted by Ted at 07:56 PM | Comments (1)

Hung for the Holidays

The unsinkable William Hung is back, this time with a CD full of Christmas music.

I actually heard one of the tracks this morning on the radio. Terrible, but not make-your-ears-bleed terrible. Lots of backup singers, which helps a lot.

Posted by Ted at 06:08 AM | Comments (1)

November 02, 2004

The Opposite of Reality TV

According to Maxim magazine, Comedy Central is coming out with a new animated show called "Drawn Together". Taking direct aim at "The Real World", the toon is populated with several stereotypical animated characters living together. You can now see what happens when ingenue Princess Clara meets urban rocker Foxxy Love (think Josie and the Pussycats).

Hint: there's a hot tub girl-on-girl kissing scene, complete with a Disney-like song "A Black Chick's Tongue In My Mouth."

Posted by Ted at 08:01 PM | Comments (1)

Rituals not even Paris got to see

Eldritch rituals.

Santanic rituals.

Posted by Ted at 06:10 AM | Comments (0)

Yay!

LeeAnn was commenter number 3000 and celebrated by doing cartwheels and splits.

Of course, it was inevitable that the batteries in my camera were dead. Story of my life.

Posted by Ted at 06:01 AM | Comments (0)

October 28, 2004

Spooky

Where I work, we've got this one elevator that creaks and groans and is generally cranky. During the day, when things are busy, it's kinda fun to watch people's expressions when it shows up and they get on, because more than a few are convinced that their next ride will be a nonstop Express to the basement. Just for fun I've considered hanging a sign in there that explains that jumping up and down in a falling elevator is a myth.

In the wee hours of the morning, when I arrive, the damned thing is just plain creepy. About every third day it's the one that shows up when I press the up button. I never worry about the big plunge, because then it would be repaired or replaced, and it doesn't want that. It wants to bide it's time, and every once in a while, when no one is looking, it feeds. One person at a time.

Posted by Ted at 05:21 AM | Comments (0)

October 27, 2004

Time for a bondage related post

Go ahead, you know you want to. I promise, it's safe for work.

Awwwwwww.

Posted by Ted at 07:48 PM | Comments (1)

October 26, 2004

Blogger Bowl 2004, week whatever

Whoooo! This is quickly becoming the Tidy Bowl 2004 for the Rockets. Jim of Snooze Button Dreams has two reasons to celebrate: first, he beat me this week even though one of his receivers was on a bye, and he found a new job. Looks like you can afford a lap dance or two to celebrate your gridiron prowess, my man.

At least I know he won't be getting a happy lap from the the Rocket Jones Hot Jets cheerleaders, because these ladies are much too classy for that (and if I'm wrong ladies, let me know via email. Confidentiality promised. This definitely does not apply to Mookie.)

Wegglywoo, of On the Beach at the End of the World!
Dawn of Dawn Enterprises!
Stevie, of Caught In The XFire!
Helen, of Everyday Stranger!
annika, of annika's journal!
Cindy, of Dusting My Brain!
Mookie, of MookieRiffic!
Denita, of Who Tends The Fires!
Lynn S., of Reflections in d minor!
Susie, of Practical Penumbra!
Blogoline, of Blogoline's Journal!
Gir, of Your Moosey Fate!
Tink, of Flitting Here and There!
Sarah, of Trying To Grok!
Kat, of Mostly Fluff!
Big Hair, of Left & Right!
Jennifer, of Jennifer's History and Stuff!
Heather, of Angelweave!
Margi, of Margi Lowry!
Nic, of Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax!
Lemur Girl, of... uh, Lemur Girl!
LeeAnn, of The Cheese Stands Alone!

So who's up for next week? The undefeated Fire Ants! That's ok, because it just makes it sweeter when I stomp you like a Dolphin stomps a Ram or like a Bengal stomps a Bronco.

Who's this King of Fools anyways?

Posted by Ted at 05:59 AM | Comments (1)

October 25, 2004

Hockey Whoopass Jamboree

The new schedule is up.

Posted by Ted at 06:10 AM | Comments (2)

October 24, 2004

Full Moon for Halloween

I found this over at Eros Blog (not safe for work):

pumpkinass.jpg

Posted by Ted at 03:02 PM | Comments (0)

October 22, 2004

Thanks Pixy!

Yesterday Mu.Nu went down thanks to some rather inexpertly applied maintenance to our server. This was not Pixy's fault, although when we were restored he apologized.

Pixy, you're doing a wonderful job here, and I hope you're having as much fun at it as we are who're enjoying the fruits of your labors. I'm sure you don't hear it often enough, but thank you.

Posted by Ted at 06:03 AM | Comments (0)

Is there anything we won't turn into a contest? (I'm in)

Over at the Ministry of Minor Perfidy, they're holding a "Guess the end of the election" contest. Head on over and make your guess for the date that all the post-election litigation nonsense will be settled.

Maybe it's just that I'm paying more attention this election cycle, but I already feel like I need a long hot decontaminating shower with a stiff scrub brush and plenty of disinfectant.

Scrub my back, I'll scrub yours?

Posted by Ted at 05:21 AM | Comments (1)

October 21, 2004

Last word from CBS?

Very very funny. Thanks to Publicola for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 05:55 AM | Comments (1)

Dang

In recent Jamboree news, my Cleveland Barons held a 3-1 lead midway through the second period, and wound up losing to the Milwaukee Admirals 4-3 in OT. For Brian J and Frinklin, I now have their logos up top. This has been a mediocre sports year for Rocket Jones. Thank goodness I'm not a Yankees fan.

Posted by Ted at 04:31 AM | Comments (1)

October 20, 2004

Cherry on top

Don Cherry, that is.

A while back, the Meatriarch talked about a poll going on up in the Great White North to pick the 10 Greatest Canadians of all time.

The list has come out, and to the dismay of many, the combustible Don Cherry made the list.

Debbye has the details, and just for the record, I'm grinning.

Posted by Ted at 12:24 PM | Comments (0)

Putting out the welcome mat

For first time visitors or those who are trying to figure out what this "blog" stuff is all about, I've added a new button over at the top right. Click on "Introduction and Help" and you'll get the nickel tour of Rocket Jones and blogs in general.

Thanks to the online Button Generator for the pretty cool service.

Posted by Ted at 10:24 AM | Comments (0)

October 19, 2004

This is so politically incorrect that all I can do is yell 'Yay!'

Tard Blog is back!!!!!

Thanks Dawn, for pointing that out.

Posted by Ted at 06:56 PM | Comments (5)

Blogger Bowl 2004 - week 6

Nick said in my comments last week:

Hey how's that tie working for ya?

Nick, that tie works quite nicely, considering it makes my record 3 wins, 2 losses and 1 tie, whereas yours is 3 wins and 3 losses. Yep, from up here, it looks just fine.

Thanks for asking.

It was another close one. I was 6 points up going into Monday Night, and once again we each had a wide receiver in the game on opposing teams. Tampa Bay's Clayton did well, but not quite good enough to overcome the lead and the Rams' Isaac Bruce.

They don't call it Fantasy Football for nothing, because that's what the above outcome is. Nick made a strong comeback and soundly thumped the Rockets, dropping us to 2-3-1 for the year. Congrats, Nick! Great game. Very cunning move to pick up Clayton at the last minute.

In order to console myself, I'm gonna talk about pretty girls. Let me introduce you to the Rocket Jones Hot Jets cheerleaders!

Margi, of Margi Lowry!
Nic, of Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax!
Lemur Girl, of... uh, Lemur Girl!
LeeAnn, of The Cheese Stands Alone!
Wegglywoo, of On the Beach at the End of the World!
Helen, of Everyday Stranger!
annika, of annika's journal!
Cindy, of Dusting My Brain!
Mookie, of MookieRiffic!
Denita, of Who Tends The Fires!
Dawn of Dawn Enterprises!
Stevie, of Caught In The XFire!
Lynn S., of Reflections in d minor!
Susie, of Practical Penumbra!
Blogoline, of Blogoline's Journal!
Gir, of Your Moosey Fate!
Tink, of Flitting Here and There!
Sarah, of Trying To Grok!
Kat, of Mostly Fluff!
Big Hair, of Left & Right!
Jennifer, of Jennifer's History and Stuff!
Heather, of Angelweave!

This week's opponent is another guy with a winning streak: Jim of Snooze Button Dreams. He's at .500 for the season, so I'm not quivering in my boots, but then again, I'm sure he isn't either at the prospect of facing the mighty Rockets.

Hey Jim, the phrase "You Snooze, You Lose" is true. You're going down!!!!

Posted by Ted at 09:40 AM | Comments (1)

October 18, 2004

A little good news to start the week

Winds of Change has the latest installment of Good News From Afghanistan up. In the introduction, this caught my eye:

Peter Bergin, a veteran journalist and certainly not a George Bush cheerleader writes:

"Based on what Americans have been seeing in the news media about Afghanistan lately, there may not be many who believed President George W. Bush... when he told the United Nations that the 'Afghan people are on the path to democracy and freedom.' But then again, not many Americans know what Afghanistan was like before the American-led invasion."

Bergin recently visited the country after a few years' absence. His surprised verdict: "What we are seeing in Afghanistan is far from perfect, but it's better than so-so."


Check it out, there's lots to be optimistic about.

Posted by Ted at 06:41 AM | Comments (0)

October 16, 2004

A few quickies

I gotta agree with The Everlasting Phelps about this one. Best training video. Ever.

Courtesy of Wince, train webcams.

An old joke you probably haven't heard in a long while. Funny too, perfect for work. And while I'm thanking Mad William, head here and check out the perfect example of why I won't buy Sims. I too, would not be a benevolent God. Laughed like a maniac while reading it though.

Casey points out this nifty online US Constitution resource.

Posted by Ted at 01:05 PM | Comments (0)

October 15, 2004

Hockey Whoopass Jamboree doo-dads

Ok, I've been fiddling around and have some Jamboree things for y'all to look at. They're all stashed over at the Skunkworks, so you can link directly there if you'd like, or click the Jamboree link on the right column when you need to get there.

Besides a list of who's playing, I've also put together a schedule for the games coming up for the next week, and a list of logos you can link to (for Blogspot players).

Give it a look and let me know if there's anything you'd like to see added or changed. Thanks.

Posted by Ted at 04:50 AM | Comments (2)

October 14, 2004

Hockey Whoopass Jamboree is in business!

First off, welcome Brian J who is supporting the Milwaukee Admirals in the Jamboree. The updated list of everyone playing is here.

And in the opening game, Gir's own Manitoba Moose defeated the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins 6-3 (sorry Catt). The Moose had Wade Flaherty in net, which is interesting only because Flaherty was born in the early 1920's by all accounts. Or maybe it just seems like it.

Also on tap last night, visiting Cincinnati dropped Jenn's Utah Grizzlies, 4-3. Kin might be interested in the Mighty Ducks of Cinci, but I haven't heard from him yet.

In other interesting news (to us hockey fans anyways):

The AHL has added several new rules for the 2004-05 season, including:
  • Employing a shootout to decide regular-season games which are tied after overtime

  • Permission of “tagging up” to negate off-side plays

  • Implementation of “no-touch” icing

  • Widening the blue lines and center red line to 24 inches (from 12 inches)

  • Moving the goal line back to 11 feet from the end boards (from 13 feet)

  • A seven-week test, ending Nov. 28, restricting the areas where goaltenders may play the puck in an attempt to increase offensive opportunities without wholly eliminating a goaltender’s ability to assist his defensemen.
  • The league’s on-ice officials will also have a stricter interpretation of hooking and holding fouls against a puck carrier and of interference in the attacking zone. Additionally, the AHL’s standard of supplementary discipline on acts where there is deliberate attempt or deliberate injury of an opponent will include more severe suspensions without pay.

    Check back for updates folks. I'm working on a way to post schedules and results in a way easy for everyone to deal with (including myself).

    Posted by Ted at 06:14 AM | Comments (4)

    Cornfield Mazes

    Nope, it's not Children of the Corn (book or movies), nor is it Psycho Scarecrow (truly putrid, no review needed beyond that), we're talking about gigantic farm field mazes laid out for fun.

    A lot of these places offer more than just wandering around lost in a cornfield for a little while (or a long while, depending on the complexity), they also have traditional farm activities like pumpkin patches, apple picking, hayrides and more.

    Here's a map of cornfield mazes from the largest company in the world to specialize in them (who knew?). They have mazes in the US, Canada, Mexico, England and Italy! I'd suggest Google too, because this is just one company's offerings, and there are many others, and some farms do their own without hiring professionals.

    Still not convinced? Read this description of someone who did a maze, it sounds like a lot of fun. If you do try this, let me know about it.

    Posted by Ted at 04:43 AM | Comments (1)

    October 13, 2004

    Pat Tillman and Jake Plummer

    Denver Broncos quarterback Jake Plummer wears a sticker with the number 40 on his helmet to honor former teammate Pat Tillman. You may recall Tillman as the pro football player who walked away from millions of dollars to join the military because he believed in making the world a better place. Sadly, he was killed in Afghanistan during his tour of duty.

    The National Football League has announced that it will fine Jake Plummer for each game that he wears the sticker on his helmet, because it goes against league rules. The fine started at $10,000, and doubles each game that the sticker is on his helmet. Plummer has said he'll pay the fines like a man, but the sticker stays.

    Two people who decided to do what's right rather than what's easy, and you can show your support as well. Eric McErlain has more information, including links to the Pat Tillman Foundation. Here's a quote from their statement of vision:

    Pat Tillman was deeply concerned about the apathy he saw in the world around him. Apathy towards bettering ones-self. Apathy towards personal relationships. Apathy towards public policy. And apathy, towards important world events.

    Pat Tillman recognized this fact and dutifully took responsibility to rise above the concerning state of indifference and apathy that has taken hold in our nation. Pat’s actions demonstrated his convictions to fight this saddening trend. Sadly, many people act as though the best way to demonstrate tolerance is through indifference. Such a mindset prevents individuals from striving to achieve an understanding of each others’ views – often out of fear that questioning may be perceived as intolerance.


    The emphasis is mine. The words say what I try to, so much more eloquently than I ever could.

    Visit Eric. Visit the Pat Tillman Foundation. Thanks.

    Posted by Ted at 06:10 AM | Comments (2)

    I can think of several bases in Germany that we should close

    Romania gets it. Not only are they inviting us to permanently move into one of their airbases, but the Romanian Defense Minister has indicated that they may increase the number of troops in Iraq to help bolster security before the January elections.

    Posted by Ted at 05:05 AM | Comments (2)

    October 12, 2004

    Hockey Whoopass Jamboree

    Ladies and Gentlemen, the Jamboree is on!

    By mob majority rule, we're going to use AHL teams for the season, at least until the NHL gets it's act together. Sorry for the late notice, because the season starts Wednesday, the 13th of October. So declare your teams*, and let's get ready for some Whoopass!

    Personally, Rocket Jones is backing the Cleveland Barons, farm club of my beloved San Jose Sharks. Y'all can choose your teams by location or affiliation, we're not real big on rules around here. In fact, there's only two:

    1. Declare your team, and place their logo somewhere on your front page. It's ok if more than one person wants the same team.

    2. When your team plays someone else's in the Jamboree, then the loser must display the logo of the winner on their page for 24 hours.

    So get back to me folks, and we'll get some ice action going on!

    The original crew (and original teams):

    VegasBaby - Calgary Flames
    Derek - Colorado Avalanche Hershey Bears
    Catt - Pittsburg Penguins Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins
    Jenn - Colorado Avalanche Utah Grizzlies
    Heather - St Louis Blues Worcester IceCats
    Dr Funk - Ottawa Senators Binghamton Senators
    GEBIV - Buffalo Sabres Rochester Americans
    Victor - Washington Capitals Albany River Rats
    Helen - Dallas Stars
    Daniel - Atlanta Thrashers
    Gir - Calgary Flames Manitoba Moose
    Pogo - Calgary Flames
    Cindy - Montreal Canadiens Hamilton Bulldogs
    Frinklin - Vancouver Canucks Milwaukee Admirals
    RP - New York Rangers
    Tricia - Atlanta Thrashers
    Nic - Washington Capitals Portland Pirates
    Kin - Anaheim Mighty Ducks
    Matt - Dallas Stars Houston Aeros
    Wendy - Philadelphia Flyers
    Tuning Spork - Bridgeport Sound Tigers
    Brian J. - Milwaukee Admirals
    Ted (yours truly) - San Jose Sharks Cleveland Barons

    Also, welcome Tuning Spork who said if we go AHL he simply must go with the Bridgeport Sound Tigers.

    *To see all the AHL teams, head over to their home page and the mini-logos are listed right under the main banner. Rollover the logos and the team name and city appear just above the logos. Now you can find great full-size logo's here, thanks to Eric of Off Wing Opinion for pointing this one out.

    Posted by Ted at 07:44 PM | Comments (16)

    Blogger Bowl 2004 week 5 results

    Daniel had a bad day.

    His Braves got whupped again. Now we see whether Jennifer is the type to kick him while he's down (and whether anyone would notice me holding him there for her). :D

    Going into last night's game, I was 10 points up on Daniel. He had Jevon Walker of the Pack on his roster, and I had Denarius Bennet of the Titans on mine. Wideout to wideout, mano a mano.

    Titans won big, but Walker had a huge game, and we ended up in a tie.

    A freaking tie.

    Maybe I should change my team name to the Braves. Oh wait, that wouldn't fit, because the Rockets didn't lose (Sorry Daniel, couldn't resist the cheap shot).

    Being the eternal optimist, I've played three of the strongest teams in the last three weeks and come away 1-1-1, and all three games were very close. I'm still tweaking the roster, we'll see if I can get to the next level, give that little extra, and any other sports metaphores you can think of.

    Actually, I consider this a win because I've got sweet ladies cheering me on, while Daniel has stodgy old men with goatees and muddy shoes. They probably all smell of formaldahyde too. May I present the Rocket Jones Hot Jets cheerleaders!

    Wegglywoo, of On the Beach at the End of the World!
    Helen, of Everyday Stranger!
    annika, of annika's journal!
    Cindy, of Dusting My Brain!
    Mookie, of MookieRiffic!
    Denita, of Who Tends The Fires!
    Dawn of Dawn Enterprises!
    Stevie, of Caught In The XFire!
    Margi, of Margi Lowry!
    Nic, of Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax!
    LeeAnn, of The Cheese Stands Alone!
    Lemur Girl, of... uh, Lemur Girl!
    Lynn S., of Reflections in d minor!
    Susie, of Practical Penumbra!
    Blogoline, of Blogoline's Journal!
    Gir, of Your Moosey Fate!
    Tink, of Flitting Here and There!
    Sarah, of Trying To Grok!
    Kat, of Mostly Fluff!
    Big Hair, of Left & Right!
    Jennifer, of Jennifer's History and Stuff!
    Heather, of Angelweave!

    While grabbing links for this post, I see that Jennifer has already put on the heavy boots! Hahahahahahahaha Jeez I hate the Braves.

    Who's up next week? Hmmmm, Patriot Paradox, owner of a three game winning streak after dropping the first two of the season. Sorry bucko, you'll be .500 this time next week.

    Posted by Ted at 04:41 AM | Comments (5)

    October 11, 2004

    Heroes and SuperHeroes, only human after all

    Former Superman actor Christopher Reeve is dead at 52.

    San Diego Padres 1996 MVP Ken Caminiti is dead at 41.

    Both faced a lot of adversity towards the end, and they handled it with dignity and courage.

    Posted by Ted at 07:46 AM | Comments (1)

    October 09, 2004

    Yay!

    LeeAnn is back! Yay!

    Debbye is back! Yay!

    And just to make it an uneven three, John Howard is back! Yay!

    Posted by Ted at 09:56 PM | Comments (2)

    If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times

    You've got to pause once in a while to appreciate the simple things. Other than that, this post has no real point except maybe to change the color of today's number over on the right-hand calendar thingo.

    I was up way late last night, chatting with Spork, Stephen and Flibbertigibbet during the debate. Later on Alaska Dave signed on and we talked a while longer. While the debate was happening, I've been going through a merest sliver of what Pixy's been up to, as my wife's PC hard drive went kaput this week. I swapped it out yesterday, and have been reformatting and restoring since. It's mostly back up and running, and we managed to save the most critical files. Yay!

    So this morning I got up before dawn and finish up the PC work, then roused the youngster dog (Trix) for a walk. We strolled the neighborhoods for almost an hour, just enjoying the crisp air and light fog. Saw lots of geese honking their way overhead, just starting to gaggle up. When we got back, I took the old man Sam for a quick walk too, then started diving into the day's chores.

    I've got one of Denita's heavenly bread puddings in the oven, and I've promised Liz a batch of macaroons too. Between that and breakfast, I think I can have it all done by noon, and then spend the rest of the day working on rockets.

    I've put together plans on modifying my existing rockets to use the new hybrid motors (nitrous - woohoo!), so that's one thing on my to-do list. Another is to start construction on my newest rocket.

    This one is going to be my Level 2 certification bird - 4" diameter, around 7 feet tall, and powered by a hybrid motor that'll kick her with around 60lbs of thrust and burn for 5.5 seconds. Doesn't sound like much, but picture how far something can travel at well over a hundred miles an hour in that short time.

    I've been collecting parts for quite a while, and it's time. Maiden flight will be next spring at the latest, before Christmas is very possible.

    Like I said, no real point, but it sure is a beautiful day and I'm going to head out into the back yard and enjoy some more of it.

    Posted by Ted at 10:31 AM | Comments (4)

    October 08, 2004

    Melissa Etheridge cancels tour

    She's undergoing treatment for breast cancer.

    Etheridge, 43, will undergo surgery and her doctor expects a "speedy and complete recovery," publicist Marcel Pariseau said in a statement.

    The cancer was detected early and Etheridge has been receiving treatment, Pariseau said Thursday.


    Best wishes to her, I've been enjoying her music since her first album.

    Posted by Ted at 09:20 AM | Comments (2)

    October 06, 2004

    Fire Prevention Week

    It's a good time to make sure your smoke detectors are working and replace the batteries in all of them. Also make sure your kids know the escape plan from the house in case of fire. Dig on Sparky the Fire Prevention Dog for fun and educational stuff for the whole family.

    I don't know about you, but when I think about fire, I think about marshmallows. Yummmmmm.

    Posted by Ted at 05:58 AM | Comments (0)

    October 05, 2004

    Like Google for Movies

    Over at TexasBestGrok, John is having another poll on SciFi babes, and this time it's the women of BattleStar Gallactica. I have to admit here and now that this show never did a thing for me, and I've probably watched a grand total of two episodes in my life.

    Nevertheless, Robert the LlamaButcher, being the belligerent blogger that he is, pulled on his nappy little jammies and protested that a sweetie from the series had been left off the poll. Then he wondered aloud who she was.

    Thanks to the wonders of IMDB, we find that Sarah Rush (or "Flight Corporal Rigel" as she whispers into Robert's dreams), also appeared in such gripping roles as "Nurse #3" on Friends, as "Woman at Garage Sale" on Everybody Loves Raymond, and "Fern" on Happy Days. And the list goes on and on. But wait! Her multifaceted talents also apply to the big screen, where she had roles in The Nude Bomb (aka The Return of Maxwell Smart), and the more recent Fangs and Catch Me If You Can.

    Gotta love the internet.

    Posted by Ted at 12:16 PM | Comments (2)

    How did I miss this?

    Jennifer (who is on a roll) mentioned it yesterday, but I completely misunderstood what she meant. When she posted "Who's the greatest pilot you ever saw?", and then wrote "Goodbye Gordon Cooper", I thought she was referring to the new SpaceShipOne astronauts.

    What she was referring to was that Gordon Cooper, one of the original Mercury Seven astronauts, passed away yesterday. He was a flake, but he was also a great pilot.

    Posted by Ted at 11:54 AM | Comments (0)

    Truer Words Were Never Spoken

    Jennifer is hurting, because her Cubbies let her down yet again. It could be worse Jen, my wife's grandmother has suffered through 80-some years of disappointment from those clowns.

    And we Giant fans know just how she feels. Check out this hilarious description of the Five Classic Stages of Giants Grief.

    G also coins a new phrase that I'll be adding to my lexicon:

    "counting on the rockies"

    The official definition:

    Counting on the rockies - Hoping someone or something will perform a task which benefits you, even though this someone or something is very, very, very unlikely to do so.

    Usage:

    “I told Mary to bring the salad for the party.”
    “Uh oh. So we’re not going to have a salad?”
    “Yeah, I guess I was kind of counting on the rockies.”

    Rationale:

    Everything this team [Colorado Rockies - RJ] has done in their existence has screwed the Giants. They couldn’t win a single game against the 1993 Braves, and the Giants lost the division by a single game. They lost 13 of 20 to the Diamondbacks in 2001, screwing the Giants. They developed Neifi Perez. In a secret bunker lab beneath a mountain, most likely. Perez hit a homerun against the Giants to prevent them from winning the wild-card in 1998. They couldn’t beat the Astros, and they couldn’t beat the Dodgers. They need no biscuit to roll over and drool on themselves, begging you to itch their bellies. They just do it.

    Nah, I'm not bitter. I also don't write nearly as well as he does, so head on over and read it all.

    Posted by Ted at 06:05 AM | Comments (1)

    I'll need a comfy pillow to sit on all week

    Victor, GM and cheesemeister of the Rats of Chaos, opened a 55 gallon drum of industrial grade whoopass on the Rockets this week.* I make no excuses, but how often does Bret Favre get knocked out of a game (not very), and although my wide receivers are all great they're playing in share-the-wealth offenses. Jerry Porter is a wonderful player, but when seven or eight different Raiders get receptions in any given game, his stats are not going to be where I need them.

    Great game Victor!

    Victor's Hot Rats cheerleaders are cute, but if you prefer your pretty ladies a little taller, then check out Rocket Jones' very own Hot Jets!

    Nic, of Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax!
    LeeAnn, of The Cheese Stands Alone!
    Dawn of Dawn Enterprises!
    Stevie, of Caught In The XFire!
    Margi, of Margi Lowry!
    Lemur Girl, of... uh, Lemur Girl!
    Lynn S., of Reflections in d minor!
    Susie, of Practical Penumbra!
    Blogoline, of Blogoline's Journal!
    Gir, of Your Moosey Fate!
    Tink, of Flitting Here and There!
    Sarah, of Trying To Grok!
    Kat, of Mostly Fluff!
    Big Hair, of Left & Right!
    Wegglywoo, of On the Beach at the End of the World!
    Helen, of Everyday Stranger!
    annika, of annika's journal!
    Cindy, of Dusting My Brain!
    Mookie, of MookieRiffic!
    Denita, of Who Tends The Fires!
    Jennifer, of Jennifer's History and Stuff!
    Heather, of Angelweave!

    Next up are the ominously named DFMoore...s. I wasn't sure about the significance of the name, so I asked Jennifer, who's into history and stuff. She was busy climbing through a haunted storage shed or something (it's almost Halloween dontchaknow), so I finally wound up googling it instead.

    Piecing things together from multiple sources, it appears that DFMoore is an acronym or anagram (or both for you conspiracy fans!) for a secret society of fast-food restaraunt owners who read dictionary's for fun and secretly worship an old bucket of paint.

    The only other hit was about some guy in Atlanta with a fetish for Chicago. But that's too pat, I'm a most-complex-explanation-possible kinda guy.

    Almost lost my thread there... DFMoore - You're Toast!!!

    * Actually, it was a close game.** I could have won it with the right personnel move, but I never seriously considered replacing Favre with Leftwich. Would you?

    ** Victor was top score for the week, I was second, and we both would've beat everybody else in the league. Victor played big when he needed it. ***

    *** Oooo, cascading footnotes, shades of Tiger!

    Posted by Ted at 04:54 AM | Comments (2)

    October 01, 2004

    Skippy

    Skippy's list of things not allowed to do by the Army has been posted and reposted all over the net (I linked to a version back in January). Now Skippy is back with an 'official' website, including some guest submitted list additions. Good fun and worth checking out.

    Thanks to Wince and Casey for the pointers.

    Posted by Ted at 09:06 PM | Comments (2)

    September 30, 2004

    But of course mon'ami

    The standard issue French Army Knife.

    All it needs is a foot switch so you don't have to put your hands down to use it.

    Thanks to INDC Journal for the pointer.

    Posted by Ted at 12:06 PM | Comments (0)

    September 29, 2004

    Frighteningly good read

    I don't know what's scarier in this story about an adventure while exploring a cave, the eerie atmosphere that the guy captures so well or the idea of squeezing through some of the passages in the photos. Either way, set aside some time and read this, it's chilling.

    Major thanks to Rich for the pointer.

    Posted by Ted at 03:51 PM | Comments (2)

    September 28, 2004

    For that disturbed someone in your life

    How about a subscription to the Unfortunate Animal of the Month Club?

    Something dreadful in the mail each month to brighten your life. I encourage you to have them delivered to your office.

    Scroll on down and read the fine print, because these are one-of-a-kind creations, not mass-produced abominations.
    They are the very best efforts I produce, mailed Priority Mail, and they will be “wrapped”, like a present from your really, really cool Aunt that you don't have. It may be packed in leaves, wrapped in an odd length of fabric, a placemat, yards and yards and yards of string, joss paper -- you just never know, and it won't be the same twice. There will be a note from the Unfortunate Animal to you, written on god-knows-what, and it's quite likely not to make a great deal of sense, or be written in verse (Unfortunate Animals are very odd creatures, after all); unwrapping it will be an adventure in a different way each time.

    Ooooh looky, there's pictures too!

    Blame J-Walk Blog for this one.

    Posted by Ted at 09:55 AM | Comments (0)

    Blogger Bowl '04 - week 3

    In the closest game of the week, the Rockets emerged triumphant over Brendoman! That brings my record to 2-1, with two wins in a row. After Sunday's games I had the victory sewn up, and still had Terry "foot in mouth, head up ass" Glenn of Dallas playing on MNF. The Giants' Ron Dayne also scored the big goose-egg for me as he didn't play despite reports that he'd be ready for the game. On the plus side, Bret Favre, Jamaal Lewis and the Baltimore defense had monster games.

    And now, for your websurfing pleasure (annoying Victor is just a bonus for me), may I present the Rocket Jones Blogger Bowl cheerleaders, the Hot Jets!!!

    Lemur Girl, of... uh, Lemur Girl!
    Lynn S., of Reflections in d minor!
    Susie, of Practical Penumbra!
    Blogoline, of Blogoline's Journal!
    Dawn of Dawn Enterprises!
    Stevie, of Caught In The XFire!
    Margi, of Margi Lowry!
    Gir, of Your Moosey Fate!
    Tink, of Flitting Here and There!
    Sarah, of Trying To Grok!
    Helen, of Everyday Stranger!
    annika, of annika's journal!
    Cindy, of Dusting My Brain!
    Mookie, of MookieRiffic!
    Denita, of Who Tends The Fires!
    Jennifer, of Jennifer's History and Stuff!
    Heather, of Angelweave!
    Kat, of Mostly Fluff!
    Nic, of Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax!
    LeeAnn, of The Cheese Stands Alone!
    Big Hair, of Left & Right!
    Wegglywoo, of On the Beach at the End of the World!

    Go visit them, because each one is a unique and excellent read.

    Next we come to the trash talking portion of the post. This week is going to be a tough game, because I'm going up against Victor's undefeated Mice of Mischief. I've got a secret weapon, I just hope it's enough.

    Posted by Ted at 04:20 AM | Comments (1)

    September 27, 2004

    Newsweek says about Iraq, "It's Worse Than You Think"

    My suggested subtitle: "Bad News Sells More Magazines".

    It's not all sweetness and light, but at the same time it's not all doom and gloom like so many of the current headlines lead you to believe.

    Good news and optimistic stories from Iraq, courtesy of Winds of Change.

    Posted by Ted at 12:12 PM | Comments (0)

    A minimum of fifteen pieces of Flair

    Hood ornaments.

    Reminds me of a true story that would be perfect for an Air Force Blue post, except that some things must never be put into writing because there is no karmic statute of limitations. You'd laugh your ass off though, it's a good one.

    Thanks to Lynn S. for pointing this one out.

    Posted by Ted at 04:49 AM | Comments (0)

    September 25, 2004

    Enjambment free for your safety and convenience

    The Joe Don Baker haiku contest was a rousing success, with forty-six entries received. Despite demands for instant gratification, annika is meditating over the winner from nine carefully chosen and brilliant finalists.

    Two of them are mine. Remember when I said I didn't have the talent for poetry? I lied. Or more likely I just don't know my verse from a hole in the ground. No matter, go and read, and see the comments where annika praises me for my total lack of enjambment. That's a good thing. Trust me, I'm a poet and I know about this stuff.

    Posted by Ted at 12:31 PM | Comments (0)

    September 24, 2004

    Like a non-lethal Darwin Award entry

    Ignore the politics-related context if it helps, but visit Wizbang and enjoy the funniest story I've read in a long long time.

    Posted by Ted at 10:29 AM | Comments (0)

    Personally, I think the mouse is a much more elegant solution

    Fifty years ago, they were dreaming about home computers...

    (in the exended entry)

    Thanks to both Silflay Hraka (who also has some kick-ass nursery rhymes) and Curmudgeonly & Skeptical (who may or may not be work safe on any given day).

    ... and this is what they predicted the future might look like.

    HomeComputer.jpg

    Posted by Ted at 06:10 AM | Comments (3)

    September 23, 2004

    Quick!

    Jump over to Flying Space Monkey Chronicles and help him reach his goal of a half-million hits by today! Now!!! Note the exclamation points!!!!! Hurry!!!!!!!!!!

    Posted by Ted at 02:46 PM | Comments (1)

    Inspired by annika and Victor

    I don't have the talent to create poetry beyond the occasional dirty limrick, so I'll link to some twisted stuff instead.

    Courtesy of columnist Lincoln Spector:

    Alfred, Lord Tennyson

    Half a gig, half a gig,
    Half a gig all spent,
    Into the upgrade from hell
    Went the department.
    All the new features now!
    All that they have sent.
    Into the upgrade from hell
    Went the department.

    Edgar Allen Poe

    Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, eyes too bleary,
    Over messages most eerie, errors that would not compute-
    Windows, and I now must sum up, would not run or even come up,
    Not a desktop would it drum up; operating system mute.
    Cryptic message on my screen and in all else Windows was mute.
    OS sick and most acute.

    Ernest Lawrence Thayer

    It looked extremely rocky for the Mudville Corp. that day;
    The office suite was sour and Paint's colors all were gray.
    So when Cooney needed tech support, and got that old dial tone,
    He hoped that mighty Casey would be answering the phone.

    But first came a recording, and he knew just what to do;
    He listened to that little voice, and then pressed number Two.
    That little voice returned again, and told him of his fate,
    But Cooney knew just what to do and so he pressed the Eight.

    Those are mere snippets, there's lots more to enjoy. In fact, click on the little "past articles" link on that page, and be prepared to laugh out loud at computer geekdom's version of Dave Barry. I especially loved his Shakespearian version of Customer Support - The Tragedy of DSL.

    Posted by Ted at 11:59 AM | Comments (1)

    Uh Huh!

    Check out Google!

    Posted by Ted at 07:15 AM | Comments (3)

    Another example of the Internet Community in action

    While this is not even close to the scope of the CBS story, this one's been going on quite a bit longer. A group of collectors over on the alt.binaries.pictures.eroctica.vintage newsgroup have been having a grand ol' time for several years, trading old postcards and scanning girlie magazines from way back when. I visit occasionally, and contribute once in a blue moon, and you've seen some of their work here on Rocket Jones in various pinups and book covers. There's some real historical knowledge there, as well as a few inevitable trolls and nitwits.

    So anyways, a while back someone got curious about a specific series of photographs taken at a location that's come to be known as the "spider pool". There's a picture (safe for work) in the extended entry, along with the rest of the story.

    What you see here is the best known picture that gives the spider pool it's name. The one here is reduced in size by 2/3 for the bandwidth impaired, if you're so inclined I'll tell you where to get the original in a moment.

    rj-florence-exotique.jpg

    There are a lot of pictures, and a lot of versions of the same pictures on the net, that were taken around the Spider Pool. At least one of the models has been identified, and various clues such as hair style and such give a time frame of late 40's to mid 50's.

    The group got to wondering, just where exactly was the Spider Pool located?

    Some educated guesses were made (like I said, there's serious knowledge among these folks), and as the group batted around ideas and dissected clues in the photographs like the topography in the background, a general consensus was reached about the vicinity of the Spider Pool. Someone got hold of a topographic map, and eventually a road that seemed to fit the evidence was tracked down. Unfortunately, that lead didn't pan out - it's not disproved, just 'not likely' at this time. So the search continues. It's very possible that the Spider Pool doesn't even exist any more.

    This kind of historical sleuthing fascinates me. I'm not involved at all other than as a spectator (and this post now), but I'm enjoying the discussion and discovery process as it goes on. Various leads are being followed besides the terrain and neighborhood clues, including a search for the models themselves or possibly someone who remembers the actual place. The title of the picture above suggests that it may have originally come from a magazine called Exotique.

    And now, thanks to a nice lady named debi, there's a blog dedicated to the mystery of the Spider Pool and the search for it. Check it out, but be aware that a lot of the photos there contain nudity.

    Any Southern Californians out there wanna take a swing at identifying the locale?

    Posted by Ted at 05:24 AM | Comments (1)

    The presence of rats automatically lend a certain elan

    Victor knows how to hijack a comments section.

    After annika blows off her Poetry Wednesday, Victor jumps in and declares Joe Don Baker Haiku day in her stead.

    I contributed, you should too. Rumor has it there's prizes and everything. Woot!

    Posted by Ted at 04:55 AM | Comments (0)

    September 22, 2004

    Five questions for bloggers

    From Spot On, via Dean Esmay:

    1. Why did you start a blog?

    2. Do you have a blogmother/blogfather?

    3. Has it helped/hurt/had no effect on your professional life?

    4. Do your 'real world' friends know that you blog?

    5. Do you have a blog crush?

    Leave your answers here in the comments, go to Karol's place and leave 'em in there, or post them to your place with a trackback. I'm easy.

    Posted by Ted at 06:10 AM | Comments (3)

    September 21, 2004

    Hello, God? I need a favor...

    Please smite that stupid asshole Jimmy Swaggart.

    Posted by Ted at 07:16 PM | Comments (2)

    There's good news too

    Indonesia is the largest Islamic nation in the world, and they've just held peaceful democratic elections. Thanks to Simon for pointing that out.

    Meanwhile, in Afghanistan, there's another bunch of good news that you just don't hear about. Thanks to Winds of Change for this one.

    Posted by Ted at 09:55 AM | Comments (1)

    Reduced to tears, and my sides hurt too

    This is the funniest thing I've read in a long long time, if you follow politics via blogs. Oh lord, don't miss the comments, they're the best part!

    Thanks to Q and O for pointing this one out.

    Posted by Ted at 05:14 AM | Comments (1)

    September 20, 2004

    Ripple Fire*

    Victor jumps into the cheerleader wars with both feet by introducing the Hot Rats. To be honest, the first thing I thought of was Frank Zappa (Rat Tomago was an instrumental piece of his), then this month's cover to Mad Magazine (issue #446, scroll down and click it to see), and only then did the "awwww, so cute" moment hit me. I dig a rat named Leather though. Good juju.

    Kalashnikov Vodka. The only way it'll be available in California is if there's less than 10 shots in a bottle.

    Q and O transmogrifies itself into a portal for all things neolibertarianistic. Adjust your blogrolls and hang on for a wild ride. If these guys aren't already a daily read for you, then you're really missing out on something special.

    I've been getting to Captain's Quarters via Q and O for quite a while now, it's time to add him to my blogroll.

    Also new to the blogroll is Interested Participant. Apparently I've been on his blogroll for quite some time, but I'm a lazy and unobservant bastard (just ask my wife).

    InstaPundit finally got the word and is now providing a PDA-friendly version. Yay!

    Imagine keeping a secret for over 50 years. That's what this rancher did, quietly letting archeologists work in a canyon on his land that contained the remnants of an ancient Amerind civilization.

    Yoni sent a nice email asking for a link and a mention for his blog, where the focus is college basketball. All you SportsBlog junkies can also add his site to your daily visit list.

    No link here, just because. Madonna calls for world peace, french kisses Pope. Rumor has it that Britney is pissed because she was upstaged again.

    *Ripple Fire is a term used by the military when several rockets are fired sequentially in a short period of time.

    Posted by Ted at 06:50 PM | Comments (3)

    It's "Be Kind to Monitors Week"

    Please, make sure you put down the beverage before going here. Warning: may be unfunny to the Rather humor impaired.

    Posted by Ted at 02:13 PM | Comments (0)

    I'd do the happy dance, but...

    ... that's what I have cheerleaders for! This week the Rockets emerged victorious in their Blogger Bowl matchup against Vehement Spittle, evening my record at 1-1.

    Baltimore's defense came up big, Brett Favre, Isaac Bruce and Jamaal Lewis all had solid games, and for the second week in a row everyone on the roster (including the bench) scored points.

    The score might have been closer, but my worthy opponent failed to start a wide receiver for some reason, perhaps he was distracted by the Hot Jets cheerleaders? I know I would be.

    The best cheerleading squad in all of fantasy football:
    Blogoline, of Blogoline's Journal!
    Big Hair, of Left & Right!
    Wegglywoo, of On the Beach at the End of the World!
    Margi, of Margi Lowry!
    Gir, of Your Moosey Fate!
    Tink, of Flitting Here and There!
    Sarah, of Trying To Grok!
    Helen, of Everyday Stranger!
    annika, of annika's journal!
    Cindy, of Dusting My Brain!
    Lemur Girl, of... uh, Lemur Girl!
    Lynn S., of Reflections in d minor!
    Susie, of Practical Penumbra!
    Mookie, of MookieRiffic!
    Denita, of Who Tends The Fires!
    Jennifer, of Jennifer's History and Stuff!
    Heather, of Angelweave!
    Kat, of Mostly Fluff!
    Nic, of Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax!
    LeeAnn, of The Cheese Stands Alone!
    Dawn of Dawn Enterprises!
    Stevie, of Caught In The XFire!

    Next week I'm up against Brendoman.com, who has a formidable team. I have a tip for him though: No matter how proud you are of it, naming your team after Soy Sauce is wussy, m'kay?

    But save the sauce, it'll go good with your ass when I hand it to you next week. On a plate.

    Posted by Ted at 11:47 AM | Comments (3)

    Covered like a Jimmy Hat

    Just in case it ever comes up, my pimp name is:

    Mr. White Chocolate Rocket Shmoove

    You can get your own personal pimp name here. Props to Matt Pimp Daddy M. Silk for the holla.

    Posted by Ted at 05:44 AM | Comments (0)

    September 19, 2004

    I almost forgot...

    Happy Birthday to Pixy Misa, head honcho of all things Munuviana. I hope you have/had a wonderful day.

    Posted by Ted at 09:16 PM | Comments (2)

    Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day!

    You thought I was kidding? Aarrrrrrgh.

    Posted by Ted at 09:58 AM | Comments (1)

    September 18, 2004

    So I suppose a goodnight grope is out of the question?

    Thanks (I think) to Glenn (this link not safe for work) for pointing out this site. WWJD = Who Would Jesus Date?

    Dating to Save People from Hell (this link is safe for work).

    Be especially sure to check out the 10 dating tips.

    Posted by Ted at 08:37 AM | Comments (2)

    September 17, 2004

    File under: "Wish I had thought of that"

    Thanks to Triticale for the link to this writeup about MicroSoft Forger. Talk about being responsive to the needs of today's user...

    Posted by Ted at 08:10 AM | Comments (0)

    Hummers are for sissies

    Now this is a truck for real men. According to the company, it's the largest production pickup truck available. According to owners, there's no correlation between the size of the vehicle and the size of their penis.

    Posted by Ted at 06:58 AM | Comments (1)

    NFL Fashion Show

    Frinklin provides a fun look at the best and worst looking NFL uniforms. Don't miss the link to his college rundown too.

    Posted by Ted at 05:42 AM | Comments (0)

    September 16, 2004

    Raise Hell Johnny, wherever you are

    Johnny Ramone succumbs to cancer. Damn.

    Posted by Ted at 10:06 AM | Comments (2)

    Ready, Set, Slut

    To be honest, a lot of guys wish more women would take this advice. To be brutally honest, the ladies have got more sense than we do (dammit).

    Posted by Ted at 05:36 AM | Comments (0)

    Women's Hockey

    Welcome to the premier site of women's hockey on the web! I am pleased to introduce the new home of the women's hockey web pages at www.whockey.com.

    Just in case you're going through early withdrawal pangs.

    Posted by Ted at 05:03 AM | Comments (1)

    September 15, 2004

    Gonna miss you sweetie!

    Mookie has decided to hang up the ol' blog jammies. Trust me, she's not kidding when she claims to be short of time to do everything. She just had to drop Algebra III/Trig at school because there wasn't enough hours in the evening to do the homework after Statistics and Physics, plus she's doing the full Drama curriculum and what amounts to Drafting 101 and Carpentry 101.

    Posted by Ted at 06:15 AM | Comments (1)

    There was Mookie-Music coming from my stereo speakers

    To quote Piper Laurie from Carrie: "... and I liked it!"

    she said she found someone who's gonna hold her hand
    she said she found someone who's gonna understand
    she don't need nobody to be her man
    she don't need nobody to be her man

    she has a girlfriend now
    she has a girlfriend now
    she has a girlfriend now she said
    "guys don't do no more for me"
    -- Reel Big Fish

    Posted by Ted at 06:13 AM | Comments (0)

    September 14, 2004

    Blogger Bowl 2004 - Week 1

    Wow, week 1 is over and annika whooped me like a red-headed step child! It should have been closer, but realistically I needed Bret Favre to have a career game to pull it out. And who'd've thought Jamaal Lewis would end up with only 59 lousy yards against the Browns, eh?

    On the plus side, I didn't suffer the worst drubbing of the week (administered by Victor) and I still have the best damn cheerleading squad going.

    Let's hear it for the Hot Jets!!!

    annika, of annika's journal! (yes, that annika. It shows her good taste, my good sportsmanship, and you're just jealous because I've got cheerleaders. Neener neener.
    Cindy, of Squipper!
    Lemur Girl, of... uh, Lemur Girl!
    Lynn S., of Reflections in d minor!
    Susie, of Practical Penumbra!
    Mookie, of MookieRiffic!
    Denita, of Who Tends The Fires!
    Jennifer, of Jennifer's History and Stuff!
    Heather, of Angelweave!
    Kat, of Mostly Fluff!
    Nic, of Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax!
    LeeAnn, of The Cheese Stands Alone!
    Dawn of Dawn Enterprises!
    Stevie, of Caught In The XFire!
    Emma, of Miss Apropos! (have faith, she'll be back)
    Margi, of Margi Lowry! (the artist formerly known as Emma)
    Gir, of Your Moosey Fate!
    Tink, of Flitting Here and There!
    Sarah, of Trying To Grok!
    Blogoline, of Blogoline's Journal!
    Big Hair, of Left & Right!
    Wegglywoo, of On the Beach at the End of the World!
    Helen, of Everyday Stranger!

    Looking ahead to next week, when I face Vehement Spittle. He was about as pathetic ineffective as I was this week, so I'm looking for a hard fought and competitive matchup next week.

    HA! I'm gonna stomp him like roaches fleeing a burning dumpster! You're going DOWN slobber-boy!!!

    Posted by Ted at 04:10 AM | Comments (3)

    September 13, 2004

    Who am I missing? - updated

    A while back I talked about PDA-compatible blogging (part one and two), and some folks took the idea and ran with it. Here's a list of those blogs that I download and read daily:

    Off Wing Opinion
    Flying Space Monkey Chronicles
    Simon World
    DFMoore
    Chris Hall's Spacecraft
    Jennifer's History and Stuff

    Anyone else? If you're wondering about daily hits, well the download itself doesn't count, but I find that I visit most of these sites in the evenings to follow up on interesting links that I found while reading the PDA version.

    If your site, or one you know of, offers a PDA version, let me know in the comments. Thanks muchly.

    Posted by Ted at 11:54 AM | Comments (6)

    Everyone knows someone they could send these too

    Electronic greeting cards, with a little twist (of the knife).

    Posted by Ted at 09:30 AM | Comments (2)

    More fun fonts because fonts are fun!

    Kat's Fun Fonts!

    Here's an old post of mine with more font links.

    Posted by Ted at 04:31 AM | Comments (0)

    September 12, 2004

    Talk to me, people - Hockey Whoopass Jamboree update

    I'm getting lots of suggestions from folks about the Jamboree and what to do if the NHL tanks the season. I think Victor suggested the ECHL first, and because I'm most familiar with it and it has the largest spread of teams I thought that was a good idea. But other good suggestions have come up. So we'll hash it out in the comments, which way to we go with this (assuming the bastards NHL doesn't pull its collective head out).

    1. ECHL

    2. AHL (anyone remember the Baltimore Skipjacks? *sniff* I loved those guys)

    3. Derek's Rec League

    Also, welcome to Matt Navarre of Bad State of Gruntledness (Dallas Stars) and Wendy from Adventures of MomLady (Philadelphia Flyers) to the Jamboree.

    The other players are:

    VegasBaby - Calgary Flames
    Derek - Colorado Avalanche
    Catt - Pittsburg Penguins
    Jenn - Colorado Avalanche
    Heather - St Louis Blues
    Dr Funk - Ottawa Senators
    GEBIV - Buffalo Sabres
    Victor - Washington Capitals
    Helen - Dallas Stars
    Daniel - Atlanta Thrashers
    Gir - Calgary Flames
    Pogo - Calgary Flames
    Cindy - Montreal Canadiens
    Frinklin - Vancouver Canucks
    RP - New York Rangers
    Tricia - Atlanta Thrashers
    Nic - Washington Capitals
    Kin - Anaheim Mighty Ducks
    Ted (yours truly) - San Jose Sharks

    Wanna play? It's easy, click here for details.

    Posted by Ted at 12:32 PM | Comments (7)

    September 11, 2004

    Combined Forces

    That's the title of the latest release from local independent rap artists DJ Ragz and Headrush. I was gifted a copy of the CD and it's in heavy rotation during my daily commute. Old school yet innovative, if you get a chance to pick this up*, I recommend it.

    *I don't see it in the 'store' yet at the linked site, but they do have the earlier Blind Opticz disk.

    Posted by Ted at 09:12 AM | Comments (0)

    September 10, 2004

    ECHL anyone?

    It's not looking good for the NHL season as the owners and players broke off talks once again. The CBA expires on the 15th, so if they don't get it done right now, the season is impacted.

    As per several suggestions (sadly, they were probably meant as a joke at the time), here's the website to the ECHL. There are plenty of teams there to choose from (left sidebar), should anyone want to go to Hockey Whoopass Jamboree Plan 9 (you knew it had to be Plan 9, this is Rocket Jones after all).

    And since I'm the original eternal optimist, welcome to yet another Calgary Flames fan who's joined in the Jamboree. Say hello to VegasBaby!

    She joins these hockey fans already playing banging their heads against the wall:

    Derek - Colorado Avalanche
    Catt - Pittsburg Penguins
    Jenn - Colorado Avalanche
    Heather - St Louis Blues
    Dr Funk - Ottawa Senators
    GEBIV - Buffalo Sabres
    Victor - Washington Capitals
    Helen - Dallas Stars
    Daniel - Atlanta Thrashers
    Gir - Calgary Flames
    Pogo - Calgary Flames
    Cindy - Montreal Canadiens
    Frinklin - Vancouver Canucks
    RP - New York Rangers
    Tricia - Atlanta Thrashers
    Nic - Washington Capitals
    Kin - Anaheim Mighty Ducks
    Ted (yours truly) - San Jose Sharks

    Wanna play? It's easy, click here for details.

    Posted by Ted at 12:12 PM | Comments (10)

    Quotable

    "It is high time the mainstream media be held to at least the minimum standards expected of competent bloggers, isn't it?"

    Dean Esmay, in the comments over at Q&O.

    Posted by Ted at 07:25 AM | Comments (0)

    September 09, 2004

    A different kind of countdown

    You do realize that these are top posted each day, don't you? You need to scroll down to see the new stuff, but you knew that already. Right?

    I've collected a bunch of World War II era magazine advertisements that I'll be posting in the days leading up to 9/11. The Allies then knew that they were in for a fight and they weren't going to quit until they'd won unconditionally. We need to remember that today.

    I hope you enjoy these (in the extended entry).

    242la09a.jpg

    Posted by Ted at 11:12 PM | Comments (2)

    Fresh Frozen Meat

    Say hello to Derek, a Colorado Avalanche fan, and latest member of the Hockey Whoopass Jamboree. Woot!

    Ya know, y'all ought to be linking to each other (me included). I've got to do some sidebar maintenance soon.

    So now, the Jamboree players are:
    Catt - Pittsburg Penguins
    Jenn - Colorado Avalanche
    Heather - St Louis Blues
    Dr Funk - Ottawa Senators
    GEBIV - Buffalo Sabres
    Victor - Washington Capitals
    Helen - Dallas Stars
    Daniel - Atlanta Thrashers
    Gir - Calgary Flames
    Pogo - Calgary Flames
    Cindy - Montreal Canadiens
    Frinklin - Vancouver Canucks
    RP - New York Rangers
    Tricia - Atlanta Thrashers
    Nic - Washington Capitals
    Kin - Anaheim Mighty Ducks
    Ted (yours truly) - San Jose Sharks

    Wanna play? It's easy, click here for details.

    Posted by Ted at 11:44 AM | Comments (6)

    Fighting Ignorance Since 1973

    (It's taking longer than we thought)

    That's the banner for Straight Dope, a wonderfully fun and funny page chock full of everything you ever wanted to know but probably never thought to ask.

    Thanks to Blogslut for pointing this site out to me.

    Posted by Ted at 06:06 AM | Comments (0)

    Counting coup

    Chalk up another Blogger Bowl 2004 preseason victory for Rocket Jones!

    annika has joined the Hot Jets cheerleaders. Yay!!! "But wait," you might say, "isn't she your opponent this week?"

    To which I reply: Don't be such a girly-man.

    You can take the boy out of California, but you can't take the California out of the boy.

    So now, the Hot Jets number twenty something strong. Go Hot Jets!!!
    Big Hair, of Left & Right!
    Wegglywoo, of On the Beach at the End of the World!
    Helen, of Everyday Stranger!
    Cindy, of Squipper!
    Lemur Girl, of... uh, Lemur Girl!
    Lynn S., of Reflections in d minor!
    Susie, of Practical Penumbra!
    Mookie, of MookieRiffic!
    Denita, of Who Tends The Fires!
    Jennifer, of Jennifer's History and Stuff!
    Heather, of Angelweave!
    Kat, of Mostly Fluff!
    Nic, of Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax!
    Gir, of Your Moosey Fate!
    Tink, of Flitting Here and There!
    Sarah, of Trying To Grok!
    Blogoline, of Blogoline's Journal!
    LeeAnn, of The Cheese Stands Alone!
    Dawn of Caterwauling she's moved!
    Stevie, of Caught In The XFire!
    Emma, of Miss Apropos!

    Posted by Ted at 04:30 AM | Comments (0)

    September 08, 2004

    Age is a measurement, Old is a state of mind

    Thanks to the Ministry of Minor Perfidy, here's a few facts about this year's incoming college freshman class:

  • Desi Arnaz, Orson Welles, Roy Orbison, Ted Bundy, Ayatollah Khomeini, and Cary Grant have always been dead.

  • “Heeeere’s Johnny!” is a scary greeting from Jack Nicholson, not a warm welcome from Ed McMahon.

  • Mike Tyson has always been a contender.

  • There have always been night games at Wrigley Field.

  • We have always been mapping the human genome.

  • Politicians have always used rock music for theme songs.

  • Rogaine has always been available for the follicularly challenged.

  • Head on over and read the whole list.

    Posted by Ted at 05:55 AM | Comments (0)

    The Ineffective Scary-Looking Weapon Ban

    Publicola, SayUncle, Jeff at Alphecca and many more are following this closely. Whether you're pro or anti-gun, the fact is that all the numbers show that the so-called "assault weapon ban" has had absolutely no impact on crime numbers.

    I'll be contacting my state senators this week (they know who I am) to let them know that I expect them to let this useless piece of legislation expire quietly.

    Want to reduce crime? Start targeting criminals, not law-abiding citizens.

    Posted by Ted at 04:56 AM | Comments (0)

    September 07, 2004

    Snucked up on me when I twern't lookin'

    The lovely annika (she of the unused Caps key) has reminded me that this weekend is the start of our fantasy football season. She's trash talkin' like a true Raiders fan, and I was delighted to return the favor in her comments. She's also fielding a formidable team, although she's already suffering a personnel crisis or two.

    But the Rockets aren't going to be pushovers! Here's my starting lineup for week 1:

    QB - Brett Favre (Green Bay)
    RB - Jamal Lewis (Baltimore)
    RB - TJ Duckett (Atlanta)
    TE - Randy McMichael (Miami)
    WR - Jerry Porter (Oakland)
    WR - Jerry Rice (Oakland)
    WR - Isaac Bruce (St. Louis)
    K - Mike Vanderjagt (Indianapolis)
    Defense - Baltimore

    And the bench is deep too. I noticed a lot of activity on the waiver wire (after the fact, I don't think I've visited in a couple of weeks), and I wonder if some of these folks aren't out-thinking themselves.

    In any event, I've absolutely positively got the best cheerleaders in the league, bar none. So let's hear it for the Hot Jets!
    Lynn S., of Reflections in d minor!
    Susie, of Practical Penumbra!
    Mookie, of MookieRiffic!
    Denita, of Who Tends The Fires!
    Jennifer, of Jennifer's History and Stuff!
    Cindy, of Squipper!
    Lemur Girl, of... uh, Lemur Girl!
    Heather, of Angelweave!
    Kat, of Mostly Fluff!
    Nic, of Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax!
    Helen, of Everyday Stranger!
    Gir, of Your Moosey Fate!
    Tink, of Flitting Here and There!
    Sarah, of Trying To Grok!
    Blogoline, of Blogoline's Journal!
    LeeAnn, of The Cheese Stands Alone!
    Dawn of Caterwauling!
    Big Hair, of Left & Right!
    Wegglywoo, of On the Beach at the End of the World!
    Stevie, of Caught In The XFire!
    Emma, of Miss Apropos!

    annika dear, you are about to be soundly spanked!

    Posted by Ted at 06:47 PM | Comments (3)

    Hockey Whoopass Jamboree update

    Everybody, give a great big Hanson-Hello to two more players in the second annual Inter-Munuvian Hockey Whoopass Jamboree!

    Welcome aboard to:
    Catt - Pittsburg Penguins
    Jenn - Colorado Avalanche

    The roster is filling out nicely.
    Heather - St Louis Blues
    Dr Funk - Ottawa Senators
    GEBIV - Buffalo Sabres
    Victor - Washington Capitals
    Helen - Dallas Stars
    Daniel - Atlanta Thrashers
    Gir - Calgary Flames
    Pogo - Calgary Flames
    Cindy - Montreal Canadiens
    Frinklin - Vancouver Canucks
    RP - New York Rangers
    Tricia - Atlanta Thrashers
    Nic - Washington Capitals
    Kin - Anaheim Mighty Ducks
    Ted (yours truly) - San Jose Sharks

    Wanna play? It's easy, click here for details.

    I'm working up a format for the sidebar so that everyone can just stop by Rocket Jones and see at a glance who their next game is against. This outta make it easy for everyone and my hit counter should tick over nicely too.

    Posted by Ted at 04:29 AM | Comments (7)

    September 06, 2004

    Rocket Jones is in da house!

    Last week I was interviewed for a television program (all right, it wasn't a major program, but it's on the TV, so hush). This week, thanks to Steve the Llama Butcher, an actual honest-to-goodness Rocket Jones question on political blogging is asked of Wonkette (sorry, no link), and, no doubt impaled upon the devastating insight therein, she writhed and squirmed like a bug on a pin before snarking her way to safety, hiding behind a humorous retort.

    I have arrived.

    Posted by Ted at 10:25 AM | Comments (5)

    September 04, 2004

    Second Annual Inter-Munuvian Hockey Whoopass Jamboree

    For those who're having trouble finding team logos to put on your page, here's a place where you can find small versions that will work for you. You might also try Googling your team name under the "images" tab and see what comes up.

    Here's who's playing so far:
    Heather - St Louis Blues
    Dr Funk - Ottawa Senators
    GEBIV - Buffalo Sabres
    Victor - Washington Capitals
    Helen - Dallas Stars
    Daniel - Atlanta Thrashers
    Gir - Calgary Flames
    Pogo - Calgary Flames
    Cindy - Montreal Canadiens or New York Rangers or New York Islanders (not sure yet)
    Frinklin - Vancouver Canucks
    RP - New York Rangers
    Tricia - Atlanta Thrashers
    Nic - Washington Capitals
    Kin - Anaheim Mighty Ducks
    Ted (yours truly) - San Jose Sharks

    Wanna play? It's easy, click here for details.

    Posted by Ted at 11:20 AM | Comments (0)

    September 02, 2004

    Print is dead

    Not really, but more and more, you can find almost everything on the 'net. For instance, there's this list of sites where you can read free Science Fiction online. Pretty cool, eh?

    Thanks to Professor Hall for the pointer.

    (I'm waiting for the updates to the Virginia Tech Sounding Rocket Program website too!)

    Posted by Ted at 07:58 AM | Comments (0)

    August 31, 2004

    Naw, it isn't weird

    Sarah asks if it's weird that the word "sniper" is a turn-on?

    Now for those less militarily-inclined ladies, I'll mention that I have one of those sexy TS clearances, and that all personal detail-filled emails sent to the address on the sidebar will be held in strict confidence.

    Just sayin'.

    Posted by Ted at 05:42 AM | Comments (0)

    Yahoooooooo!

    You should probably replace the "yahoo" above with your favorite exclamation of pleasure (other than "Oh God, YES!" maybe).

    I noticed last night that someone found Rocket Jones by googling "Jets Cheerleaders Hot" or some combination of same. So I wondered where I'd rank on the list for "Jets Cheerleaders".

    Congrats to Denita of Who Tends the Fires, for showing up #1 on google for anyone looking for Jets Cheerleaders. Cindy at Dusting My Brain is at number #7, and I'm at #14, which ain't too shabby. As Mookie would say, "Woot!"

    Posted by Ted at 05:11 AM | Comments (1)

    August 30, 2004

    Oooooh Goody!!!

    A caption contest over at Who Tends the Fires, so sharpen your wits and funnybones, and go to town. I've already disconnected the smoke detectors in my house, because I'm doing some serious thinking on it.

    Posted by Ted at 08:43 PM | Comments (2)

    Striking

    Over at Q & O (happy birthday guys!), McQ posts a moving and devastatingly effective rebuttal to a comment that I thought cut right to the heart of the matter concerning the Swift Boat Veterans ads.

    Until I read the comments, where one Viet Nam veteran summed it all up in as perfect a way as I could ever imagine:

    "If Kerry loses, that will be the parade that we never had."

    John Kerry is paying for his actions upon returning from the war.

    Posted by Ted at 01:23 PM | Comments (0)

    Things you won't hear on the news

    I understand the concept that news is a business, and bad news sells, which is good business. That helps explain why you'll seldom see this kind of good news on progress in Iraq.

    Warning: there's a lot of good news.

    Posted by Ted at 12:08 PM | Comments (0)

    Seven is like, so mystical, I mean, it's like, ya know, mystical - updated

    Seven also happens to be the number of new Munuvians added this weekend by our overworked and underappreciated uberlord host, Pixy.

    Welcome and Yay to:

    Flibbertigibbet
    Drama Queen
    Mediocre Fred
    Dairy Diary
    Ravings of a Corporate Mommy
    Nouvel
    Deja Vu

    Stop in and say hellow. Say hello even.

    And the cycle begins anew:
    The Lyrics of Life in LA

    Darn, did I forget to pick my robe up from the cleaners?

    Posted by Ted at 06:08 AM | Comments (3)

    PDA blogging tools

    I found this link-filled list of products that let you post to your blog from your PDA. Many are free, and I may be checking these out and posting reviews.

    Posted by Ted at 04:57 AM | Comments (0)

    August 29, 2004

    It's still growing, what can we do?!?!?!

    Stop cringing, it's not another cult movie review. I'm talking about the list of people joining in on the second annual Inter-Munuvian Hockey Whoopass Jamboree!

    Newest additions are:
    Heather - St Louis Blues
    Dr Funk - Ottawa Senators
    GEBIV - Buffalo Sabres

    Already part of the fray:
    Victor - Washington Capitals
    Helen - Dallas Stars
    Daniel - Atlanta Thrashers
    Gir - Calgary Flames
    Pogo - Calgary Flames
    Cindy - Montreal Canadiens or New York Rangers or New York Islanders (not sure yet)
    Frinklin - Vancouver Canucks
    RP - New York Rangers
    Tricia - Atlanta Thrashers
    Nic - Washington Capitals
    Kin - Anaheim Mighty Ducks
    Ted (yours truly) - San Jose Sharks

    Still waiting to hear from:
    Steve - Carolina Hurricanes?

    Wanna play? It's easy, click here for details.

    Posted by Ted at 07:04 PM | Comments (1)

    August 25, 2004

    Hockey Whoopass Jamboree Update and Roster (so far) - updated

    Last year, we were four. This year, we have expanded more than Nate Newton's waistline after a visit to the all-you-can-eat buffet, and like Nate, we want more, more more! So come on, join in the fun.

    For those unfamiliar with the concept, here are the rules for the second annual Inter-Munuvian Hockey Whoopass Jamboree:

  • You're not required to be a Munuvian to play.

  • Declare your team, and place their logo somewhere on your front page. It's ok if more than one person wants the same team.

  • When your team plays someone else's in the Jamboree, then the loser must display the logo of the winner on their page for 24 hours.

  • Send me money each time you win or lose and by next season I can afford season tickets.
  • Simple.

    This season's lineup:
    Victor - Washington Capitals
    Helen - Dallas Stars
    Daniel - Atlanta Thrashers
    Gir - Calgary Flames
    Pogo - Calgary Flames
    Cindy - Montreal Canadiens or New York Rangers or New York Islanders (not sure yet)
    Frinklin - Vancouver Canucks
    RP - New York Rangers
    Tricia - Atlanta Thrashers
    Nic - Washington Capitals
    Kin - Anaheim Mighty Ducks
    Ted (yours truly) - San Jose Sharks

    Still waiting to hear from:
    Heather - St Louis Blues
    Steve - Carolina Hurricanes?

    Posted by Ted at 07:09 PM | Comments (10)

    August 24, 2004

    Odds and ends

    Lots going on, maybe more later.

    Happy Birthday to Daniel, who's comments didn't work for me so I couldn't make it timely or personal. Have a link, and I hope you had a great day.

    For now, the Second Annual Inter-Munuvian Hockey Whoopass Jamboree is picking up the big mo', with lots of folks signing up for the season.

    Lastly, I've been playing with a new design for Rocket Jones over at the Skunkworks. It's not quite done, but give it a gander and leave comments. Let me know what you think, like and don't like (I have a thick skin, so be critical). I've heard there's a problem in Mozilla with column creep, so let me know if you see it too. This also nicely fits in with work, where I'm formally learning HTML, XHTML, Java, XML and PHP (and lots of other confusing acronyms eventually) on their dime.

    Almost forgot, Cindy, the banner is for you.

    Posted by Ted at 08:21 AM | Comments (3)

    August 21, 2004

    Mutant Ant Colonies and Badass Cows

    No wonder the Aussie's are so freakin' tough.

    Posted by Ted at 06:04 AM | Comments (1)

    August 20, 2004

    AWOL

    That's Alcohol WithOut Liquid.

    The user chooses which alcoholic spirit will be used and the alcoholic spirit is loaded into a diffuser capsule in the machine. The oxygen bubbles are then passed through the capsule, absorbing the alcohol, before being inhaled through a tube. The resultant cloudy alcohol vapor is then inhaled from the end of the tube via a device that converts liquid to vapor.

    They claim that you can't get very drunk with this method because it takes 20 minutes to 'inhale' a shot. I know people that can get ripped on three drinks in an hour. Another claim they make is "no hangover", which also sounds bogus to me since the alcohol is still getting into your bloodstream, regardless of the path it takes.

    Sorry, but this doesn't impress me as anything more than a gimmick. When I drink (rarely), it's because I enjoy the taste. Inhaling a Dewars on the rocks just wouldn't be the same, and if I'm drinking for effect (even more rare), I prefer a little ceremony with my buzz. Tequila, lime and salt please - and the salt is optional, unless I'm lucky enough to be doing body shots. :D

    Oh yeah, they also advertise it as "low calorie and low carb". Jeez I am so sick of that crap.

    Posted by Ted at 06:10 AM | Comments (3)

    August 19, 2004

    Lynx

    My spell checker said the title was ok.*

    Three to go onto the blogroll (actually, two new and one who used to be but got taken off when he was supposed to become a Munuvian but he never really moved and what's up with that?):

    The Meatriarchy.

    Starfighter.

    Pogo's World.

    Go say hi.

    *Yeah, I'm recycling old old old titles from my Blogspot days. Next I'm gonna go out and hug a tree. It balances out, because of all the ozone I destroyed this afternoon spray painting a new rocket.

    Posted by Ted at 06:38 PM | Comments (4)

    You do watch Angry Kid, don't you?

    Second season here!

    Posted by Ted at 05:55 AM | Comments (0)

    August 18, 2004

    They tries to play trickses on usssss

    Spotted on a Yahoo group today:

    This is an FYI for anyone who might not have noticed the new feature in Yahoo's targeted marketing strategies....as Yahoo has not gone yodeling in the valley -- let alone on mountaintops -- about this software. I am neither condemning nor condoning this feature. You must decide for yourself whether you want to participate in this type of data snagging.

    Yahoo updated its Privacy Policy to include a gimmick known as "web beacons." They're used to compile marketing information by tracking Yahoo users around Yahoo and the web. From their description, it's an updated/intrusive expansion of cookies. Yahoo's explanation: << Yahoo! uses web beacons to access Yahoo! cookies inside and outside our network of web sites and in connection with Yahoo! products and services. >>

    If you don't want Yahoo to track your web surfing habits and log your mail reading habits, you can deny them the right to use web beacons.

    TO TURN OFF WEB BEACONS:

    View Yahoo's updated privacy statement.

    Roughly halfway down the page, in the section titled "Outside the Yahoo! Network," there's a blue hyperlink marked, "click here" -- which brings you to a page acknowledging that you successfully opted out for that browser.

    CRITICAL: You must opt out for EACH browser you use. In other words, if you opt out for -- say -- Internet Explorer, but you also use AOL, Opera, Netscape, and Safari, then you must also opt out for AOL, Opera, Netscape and Safari by going to the opt-out hyperlink while using each of those browsers.

    Also, there's a vague remark about opting out on each computer you use. If you use separate computers to log into Yahoo (e.g., work and home, or home and laptop), opt out for each browser installed while logged into your various computers. Yes, this doubles your work (possibly triples it, depending on how many computers you use), but unless you follow through, you're leaving the door open for them to track your surfing and mail reading habits, in conjunction with Yahoo cookies, for Yahoo products and services.

    After you click the "opt out" hyperlink, pay careful attention to the "Success" message on the next page. There's a "Cancel Opt-out" button. If clicked, you will UNDO your opt-out.


    If you use Yahoo, give 'em a swift kick in the Marketing Department and Just Say No!

    Posted by Ted at 08:14 PM | Comments (2)

    Olympics fun

    Light a torch and run around your front yard.

    Posted by Ted at 05:56 AM | Comments (0)

    August 17, 2004

    Google is your friend

    Steve the Llamabutcher says in my comments:

    "A motto to live by--if only babel fish could translate into latin!"

    Well, my meaty, woolly and snippy friend, we don't need no steenkin' babel fish, eh? (I do believe I covered most of the Americas in that single sentence).

    So "It may suck, but it's my suck" translates into (drumroll please):

    Enim Combibo, Solum Mei Combibo!

    Translation courtesy of Sunsite and their java-based Latin-English/English-Latin translator. Any and all mangling of grammar is purely my fault (where's John Cleese when you really need him?). Automatically majestic just for being latin.

    It reminds me of a bit I saw Buddy Hackett do, where he visited the Pope and asked some embarrassing question. And the Pope replied "Abscondi Obesii Illegitimo", which translates to "Get outta here, you fat bastard".

    And I'd be remiss without mentioning Anonymous Kyle and his comment. You have too much time on your hands, amigo. Go count something.

    Posted by Ted at 05:50 PM | Comments (2)

    Enjoy a little technological animated coolness

    Thanks to the Carolina rocket guys for the heads up to this "Inside tour of an operating Rolls Royce jet engine". In fact, I'm just going to quote Bill S:

    Yes, this is off topic but most of this crowd will find it cool to watch.....there is most definitely combustion and thrust! :-)

    This is a seriously cool shockwave flash animation. Whomever put this together deserved their pay.

    Keep an eye on the right side of the display to see the operating parameters at each stage, and also down on the lower right where a red bar shows where you are inside the engine. There are some text comments that flash up below the play controls.

    Has sound. Low res is about 2.1Mb, hi res version is almost 5 mb, so it may take a while to load on a dial-up connection. Broad band - no problem with streaming.


    I almost titled this "Suck. Squeeze. Bang. Blow." Go check it out and you'll know why.

    Posted by Ted at 04:36 PM | Comments (0)

    August 16, 2004

    Case Art

    An artist friend of mine was inspired by one of my rockets to paint his PC case and monitor (not the screen part, silly) with that fleckstone spray paint. It looks like something out of the Flintstones. Pretty cool.

    On the internet, I've seen PC cases constructed out of clear plexiglass, out of lego and other interesting materials. My dad used to build 'executive' PC cases out of cherry, oak and mahogany for HP, but this case is a true work of art, and I want one sooooo bad.

    Many thanks to the Flea Ethereal for the pointer.

    Posted by Ted at 06:05 AM | Comments (1)

    August 15, 2004

    Another addition to the Hot Jets

    Wegglywoo adds still another international flavor to the official Rocket Jones Blogger Bowl 2004 cheerleading squad. She asked, I invited, and that's all it takes.

    Stevie, of Caught In The XFire!
    Emma, of Miss Apropos!
    Lynn S., of Reflections in d minor!
    Heather, of Angelweave!
    Kat, of Mostly Fluff!
    Nic, of Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax!
    Susie, of Practical Penumbra!
    Mookie, of MookieRiffic!
    Helen, of Everyday Stranger!
    Gir, of Your Moosey Fate!
    Tink, of Flitting Here and There!
    Sarah, of Trying To Grok!
    Blogoline, of Blogoline's Journal!
    LeeAnn, of The Cheese Stands Alone!
    Denita, of Who Tends The Fires!
    Jennifer, of Jennifer's History and Stuff!
    Cindy, of Squipper!
    Lemur Girl, of... uh, Lemur Girl!
    Dawn of Caterwauling!
    Big Hair, of Left & Right!

    Posted by Ted at 09:51 AM | Comments (3)

    Dude, you're getting a Rockwell!

    I bet the major PC companies are looking over their shoulders these days.

    Posted by Ted at 09:28 AM | Comments (1)

    August 14, 2004

    Blogger Bowl 2004

    The schedule is up, and I see that my very first opponent is the lovely annika.

    I should have some sort of special cheer or something here, just for her. Remember high school, when you "Clipped the Cardinals" or "Defused the Bombers" or whatever?

    Anyway, I consider her the primary threat in the league right up front, because she actually does research and stuff before the draft. If I can whup her early on, before injuries become a factor, then I'll know the Rockets have good juju.

    Her team doesn't really have a name, since she followed instructions (unlike yours truly) and signed up with her blog name.

    Spank the annikas Poets?

    Posted by Ted at 04:50 PM | Comments (4)

    August 13, 2004

    Such an upstanding guy

    So the governor of New Jersey, McGreevey (or however you spell it) has resigned and admitted that he's gay.

    The cynic in me is screaming that this 'gay' thing is an attempt to deflect attention from the fact that he's being hammered from all sides by scandals and possible investigations.

    He's a politician, and a pretty good one since you don't get to be governor without some skills. That doesn't change the fact that he's also (allegedly) a crooked scumbag. Cheat on your wife? Shameful, but personal business. Gay? So what, but having a couple kids with your wife makes me think the term you're searching for is "bisexual".

    Then again, I think "gay" might be exactly the term you intended, playing for sympathy and simultaneously using it as a smokescreen.

    For excellent coverage of New Jersey matters, go visit Roberto at DynamoBuzz.

    Posted by Ted at 07:17 AM | Comments (0)

    August 12, 2004

    Melt her heart

    As long as she's not listening too carefully, you might just get away with it.

    Shakespearean Sonnets for Every Occasion

    Posted by Ted at 11:08 AM | Comments (0)

    Sports, History, and Pretty Pictures

    I've just started going through this archive of Sports Franchise logos, but so far I'm loving it.*

    Thanks to Off Wing Opinion for pointing this out.

    *That slogan is about as close to McDonalds as I get these days. *sigh*

    Posted by Ted at 07:49 AM | Comments (0)

    August 11, 2004

    Quietly and kinda behind the scenes

    I first posted about the Flugtag '88 Airshow disaster almost eleven months ago, and since then there have been several comments posted and I've received some email from people who were there. I extend my sincere thanks to all who shared their stories.

    The most recent commenter is Tricia, who also happens to be a blogger (I'll be adding her to the blogroll). Tricia's recollections are vivid and compelling and I'll admit that I had tears in my eyes as I read them.

    If you're not sure what this is all about, look here. It's probably better if you start at the bottom and work your way up. Be sure to read the comments posted as well.

    Posted by Ted at 05:57 AM | Comments (0)

    August 10, 2004

    Next experiment: will the 'fork in a light socket' trick give me hair like Don King?

    Testing Meme Propagation In Blogspace: Add Your Blog

    This posting is a community experiment that tests how a meme, represented by this blog posting, spreads across blogspace, physical space and time. It will help to show how ideas travel across blogs in space and time and how blogs are connected. It may also help to show which blogs (and aggregation sites) are most influential in the propagation of memes. The dataset from this experiment will be public, and can be located via Google (or Technorati) by doing a search for the GUID for this meme (below).

    Please join the test by adding your blog (see instructions, below) and inviting your friends to participate—the more the better. The data from this test will be public and open; others may use it to visualize and study the connectedness of blogspace and the propagation of memes across blogs.

    The GUID for this experiment is:

    as098398298250swg9e98929872525389t9987898tq98wteqtgaq62010920352598gawst

    The above GUID enables anyone to easily search Google or other search engines for all blogs that participate in this experiment, once they have indexed the sites that participate, which may take several days or weeks. To locate the full data set, just search for any sites that contain this GUID.

    Anyone is free to analyze the data of this experiment. Please publicize your analysis of the data, and/or any comments by adding comments onto the original post (see URL above). (Note: it would be interesting to see a geographic map or a temporal animation, as well as a social network map of the propagation of this meme.)

    INSTRUCTIONS

    To add your blog to this experiment, copy this entire posting to your blog, and then answer the questions below, substituting your own information, below, where appropriate. Other than answering the questions below, please do not alter the information, layout or format of this post in order to preserve the integrity of the data in this experiment (this will make it easier for searchers and automated bots to find and analyze the results later).

    REQUIRED FIELDS (Note: Replace the answers below with your own answers)

    (1) I found this experiment at URL:
    http://practicalpenumbra.mu.nu/

    (2) I found it via “Newsreader Software” or “Browsing the Web” or “Searching the Web” or “An E-Mail Message”: Browsing the Web

    (3) I posted this experiment at URL: http://rocketjones.mu.nu/

    (4) I posted this on date (day/month/year): 10/08/04

    (5) I posted this at time (24 hour time): 06:11

    (6) My posting location is (city, state, country): (city), Virginia, USA

    OPTIONAL SURVEY FIELDS:

    (7) My blog is hosted by: mu.nu

    (8) My age is: 44

    (9) My gender is: Male

    (10) My occupation is: Computer Consultant

    (11) I use the following RSS/Atom reader software: none

    (12) I use the following software to post to my blog: MovableType

    (13) I have been blogging since (day, month, year): 04/07/2003

    (14) My web browser is: MS IE

    (15) My operating systems are: Windows ME

    Posted by Ted at 06:35 AM | Comments (0)

    Now this sounds like fun

    From Off Wing Opinion:

    The OSHL will teams in six Canadians cities- Halifax, Quebec City, London, Hamilton, Toronto and Kitchener- and will have a unique format. The season will be comprised of four 11-day tournaments each comprised of a round-robin and a playoff. Each game will also include a shootout which won't decide the outcome of the game but will contribute to points in the standings- wins will be worth three points, shootout wins worth two, making each game worth five points that can be split between the teams. Each team will have a roster of 12 skaters, including the goalie, who will play three 17 minute periods of 4-on-4 hockey.

    And check out this little tidbit:
    all penalties will result in penalty shots

    Word is out that several 'name' hockey players and goalies are interested in this league. If the NHL delays next season due to a lockout, I'll be watching this one for sure.

    Posted by Ted at 06:19 AM | Comments (0)

    August 08, 2004

    The FINAL Official L&R Top 100 Guitar Players of All Time

    Rob has worked out a formula to create a composite listing of guitarists from seven different lists.

    Stevie, you'll be especially happy I think.

    Posted by Ted at 06:39 PM | Comments (15)

    Scoooooooooorrrrrrre!

    More lovely ladies have joined the Hot Jets cheerleaders, rooting for Rocket Jones in the upcoming Blogger Bowl 2004.

    Welcomed into the lineup are Big Hair, half of the crew in charge over at Left & Right.

    Also, a big Yay to Dawn of Caterwauling. She has a really mean kitty cat, and I'm not afraid to use him! Beware the Short Bus of Savage Bloodletting!

    With these additions, all of Brazil is celebrating, and I hear they've dedicated all of Carnival to the Hot Jets.

    Yeah, it's hype season. Either that or Ricky Williams just stopped by to say bye.

    Lest I forget the rest of the lineup:
    Helen, of Everyday Stranger!
    Gir, of Your Moosey Fate!
    Tink, of Flitting Here and There!
    Stevie, of Caught In The XFire!
    Heather, of Angelweave!
    Kat, of Mostly Fluff!
    Nic, of Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax!
    Susie, of Practical Penumbra!
    Mookie, of MookieRiffic!
    Sarah, of Trying To Grok!
    Blogoline, of Blogoline's Journal!
    LeeAnn, of The Cheese Stands Alone!
    Denita, of Who Tends The Fires!
    Emma, of Miss Apropos!
    Lynn S., of Reflections in d minor!
    Jennifer, of Jennifer's History and Stuff!
    Cindy, of Squipper!
    Lemur Girl, of... uh, Lemur Girl.

    Posted by Ted at 06:12 PM | Comments (1)

    August 02, 2004

    Gimme an "A", Gimme a "P", Gimme a... oh the hell with it, the word is "Apathy", ok? Apathy. Rah. Whatever.

    Here's your chance to write cheers for the Hot Jets cheerleaders!

    Real. Funny. Naughty. Just made-up or whatever. Put 'em in the comments. Might even be a prize. Darned if I know what, but suggest prizes too and maybe we can work something out.

    About the title: no, I'm not apathetic about this, I just thought it was funny. You don't? Oh well.

    Posted by Ted at 04:30 AM | Comments (3)

    July 30, 2004

    Heartfelt Appreciation

    Wind Rider officially retires from the Air Force on 1 August after more than 24 years of service.

    Visit him at Bloviating Inanities or Silent Running and say thanks.

    Posted by Ted at 07:55 PM | Comments (0)

    Hey Ump, if you had one more eye you'd be a cyclops!

    Everyone loves to harrass the umpires or speechifier or ballplayers or comedian or other public performer.

    So what's the best heckle you've ever heard?

    Idea shamelessly stolen from the excellent San Fransisco Giants blog, Waiting for Boof.

    Posted by Ted at 08:02 AM | Comments (5)

    Riddle

    What Hot Jets cheerleader lives in a castle (for real) and has a prehensile tail?

    Ok, trick question. The answer, of course, is our newest lovely (ta dahhhh!): Lemur Girl!

    I'm not positive about the tail, but she only appears in long skirts and didn't deny it when I asked. I'm earnest and forthright, not nosy and pushy thankyouverymuch. She's also added her email address to her page, which is one of the ones I commented about a few days ago.

    Our latest addition brings the Hot Jets squadron to an uneven seventeen eighteen. That appeals to the non conformist in me (mental note: take shoes off next time to count). The rest of the crew:

    Sarah, of Trying To Grok!
    Emma, of Miss Apropos!
    Lynn S., of Reflections in d minor!
    Heather, of Angelweave!
    Kat, of Mostly Fluff!
    Nic, of Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax!
    Susie, of Practical Penumbra!
    Mookie, of MookieRiffic!
    Helen, of Everyday Stranger!
    Gir, of Your Moosey Fate!
    Tink, of Flitting Here and There!
    Stevie, of Caught In The XFire!
    Jennifer, of Jennifer's History and Stuff!
    Cindy, of Squipper!
    Blogoline, of Blogoline's Journal!
    LeeAnn, of The Cheese Stands Alone!
    Denita, of Who Tends The Fires!

    I wish I could claim the power to unleash the power of an Instalanch, even a mere feeble shadow of one, but I can't without your help. So go to each one of the sites listed above and enjoy the great blogging there. There's more to becoming a Hot Jets cheerleader than just the swimsuit audition. It takes brains, and these ladies have it in spades. So go visit and drop a comment on 'em.

    Posted by Ted at 05:35 AM | Comments (3)

    Queer Eye for the Queer Guy?

    Coming Appearing soon on a television screen near you: LOGO. A network devoted to gays and transgendered people.

    Is there really a big enough audience to make this work?

    Posted by Ted at 04:46 AM | Comments (0)

    July 29, 2004

    There's a joke in there somewhere

    Bill's pee pee is all better. Translation: his prostate infection is well on the way to being cured.

    Meanwhile, news breaks that Saddam has a prostate infection.

    Totally unrelated, but doesn't it make you grit your teeth to hear someone talk about their prostrate gland?

    Posted by Ted at 04:42 PM | Comments (3)

    Perhaps you've noticed...

    ...around and about, at various blogs (the ones with class and good looking women), a little picture for Rocket Jones and the Blogger Bowl 2004? I have, and they look goooooood.

    Babes with Brains, gotta love the Hot Jets!

    Denita's template-meister Eric even put together an animated version. Woot and tres cool (pardon me, my nuance is showing).

    Susie's got one.
    Nic is one of the cool kids too.
    Now Gir really shines with not one, but two Rocket Jones logos and a blip. It's a good thing she likes spontaneous combustion, because she's on fire!
    Squipper has the logo up! Squipper, Squipper, Squipper. That's a fun word to say!
    And let's not forget:
    Helen gave a hearty cheer and shout-out.
    Emma, official spokeswoman for "Security Mom's for Rocket Jones".
    Now Lynn is a cultured lady, so it should be no surprise that she's a Hot Jet. Cream rises.
    Stevie cheers on in her own no-bull style.
    Jennifer's gone missing, but before she left she gave a Hot Jet holler.
    Now Mookie is a special head case. She's had the summer blahs, complicated by the fact that she's been working, planning for vacation, and doing a ton of summer homework. I don't remember having to do that much over the summer.
    The lovely Blogoline lent her voice to the cheering. Yay!
    Now LeeAnn is going on vacation, so her cheering is being rationed to make it last.
    Heather has been busy with summery fun-ness, but not too busy to cheer.
    A little bit sweet, a little bit dark. Kat.
    Tink has been having a rough month, family-wise. Send good thoughts her way, she could use the well-wishes and strength.
    Sarah tries to grok, which could possibly interfere with cheering, or it might mean that she understands on a deeper level what it truly means to be a Hot Jet.

    I've heard from reliable sources that Jim has been recruiting cheerleaders as well. Best of luck, guy, too bad the truly great ones have already become Hot Jets!

    Posted by Ted at 06:04 AM | Comments (1)

    July 28, 2004

    Don't stand too close, the heat is intense

    The Hot Jets just keep getting hotter!

    Welcome Helen from Everyday Stranger to the Rocket Jones Hot Jets cheerleader family. Yay!

    This is significant because she's living near London, and she says:

    And the Monarchs? Puh-leeze. I want real men playing real football!

    Got that? Rocket Jones equals "real man playing real football". In a virtual rotisserie-league sorta way, of course (don't bother, I'm irony-impaired).

    Hey, listen to the sizzle:
    Susie, of Practical Penumbra!
    Nic, of Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax!
    Gir, of Your Moosey Fate!
    Emma, of Miss Apropos!
    Lynn S., of Reflections in d minor!
    Stevie, of Caught In The XFire!
    Jennifer, of Jennifer's History and Stuff!
    Mookie, of MookieRiffic!
    Blogoline, of Blogoline's Journal!
    LeeAnn, of The Cheese Stands Alone!
    Heather, of Angelweave!
    Kat, of Mostly Fluff!
    Tink, of Flitting Here and There!
    Denita, of Who Tends The Fires!
    Cindy, of Squipper!
    Sarah, of Trying To Grok!

    Recap: Rocket Jones - Real Man. Hot Jets - Best.

    Posted by Ted at 06:41 AM | Comments (5)

    For every action there's an equal and opposite overreaction

    Seems that our beloved Mu.Nu domain has been banned in South Korea because one of our bloggers has a link to the terrorist beheading videos. Actually, it was originally on his old Blogspot site, and in an amazing show of restraint, the government of South Korea has apparently banned all access to Blogspot sites as well.

    What is that they say about judging one's character by the enemies one makes?

    Simon has more.

    Posted by Ted at 06:25 AM | Comments (1)

    July 27, 2004

    Imagine, if you will...

    ...an ordinary day, where you do ordinary things and go to your ordinary job. But today is different - even if you don't know it yet - because when you log on, something extraordinary will happen. You won't just be gaining access to your files, today, you'll be gaining access to The Twilight Zone.

    Classic television introductions! Mondo retro-hipness thanks to Fred, who also posts wicked cool Mars pictures of the day.

    Posted by Ted at 05:44 AM | Comments (0)

    July 26, 2004

    Simpler explanation

    The problem with the L.A. media isn't that it's dominated by liberals but that it's dominated by idiots. -- Cathy Seipp
    Thanks to Rand Simberg at Transterrestrial Musings for that one.
    Posted by Ted at 11:30 AM | Comments (2)

    So it's not what you'd call *great* photography

    But still, I really like this picture.

    (in the extended entry - no nudity, but use your own judgement concerning your workplace)

    Found at Kimochi-ii!!!, which definitely isn't work-safe.

    072504.jpg

    Posted by Ted at 04:39 AM | Comments (2)

    July 25, 2004

    Hot Jets and Cool Competition

    Time to call in the big guns, literally! Get yer mind outta the gutter, because I'm talking about Sarah, who has a picture on Trying To Grok of herself in a tank. Woohoo! Ya know, it never hurts to have a little armor support.

    She graciously accepted, and mentioned that she's already been recognized for her cheerleading - check this out. Actually, don't bother, unless you want to deal with a bunch of annoying popups, and then read some lame anti-intelligence (in the literal sense, not in the "spy" kinda way) nitwittery. It's a hate site, and Sarah's been named to their Hall of Infamy for being a true supporter of the US military. At least they mention that she writes well and interestingly, they just don't like her opinions.

    Anyways, welcome to the Hot Jets Sarah!

    That little banner is starting to crop up in other places...

    The Hot Jets are:
    Stevie, of Caught In The XFire!
    Jennifer, of Jennifer's History and Stuff!
    Mookie, of MookieRiffic!
    Emma, of Miss Apropos!
    Blogoline, of Blogoline's Journal!
    LeeAnn, of The Cheese Stands Alone!
    Gir, of Your Moosey Fate!
    Heather, of Angelweave!
    Kat, of Mostly Fluff!
    Lynn S., of Reflections in d minor!
    Tink, of Flitting Here and There!
    Denita, of Who Tends The Fires!
    Cindy, of Squipper!
    Susie, of Practical Penumbra!
    Nic, of Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax!

    Pick a sweetie, any sweetie. In fact, go visit them all.

    Posted by Ted at 09:04 AM | Comments (1)

    July 24, 2004

    Something rarely seen around here

    Velociman did this one a while back, and I meant to, but never got around to it. My results are in the extended entry.

    Which Childish Practical Joke Are You?

    Aside to Velociman: you've been comment spammed on the post with some rather rude links. Just lettin' ya know.

    noogies.jpg
    You are HEAD NOOGIES !!!

    I don't do a lot of quizzes (heh, what a funny word: quizzes), and this one keeps the streak alive because you make it up yourself. Yepper, it's not a real quiz!


    Posted by Ted at 02:11 PM | Comments (2)

    Beats Beal

    So I'm putzing around the rocket workshop today, taking care of some items on the ol' to-do list, when I remember an old post idea I wanted to do. Jot it down and come back to it later, and when I do I googled up a few things to research. And I found this page, which has nothing to do with what I was looking for - honest! - but with a title like Bikini Karate Babes, how could I not investigate, eh?

    In the interview with the creator, he has this to say:

    Bikini Karate Babes is a fun and silly game. If you're looking for the greatest fighting game since Tekken... you won't find it here. But if you're looking for something unique with solid gameplay and high replay value, then this game is for you!

    BKB uses actual video images of real women. You can control these women in real time. It is by far the best example of interactive video controlled in real time ever made. The animation is excellent, not choppy like so many 'other' games using video images. The full range of motion is captured for every punch, kick, and jiggle!


    I don't play computer games, but if I did I suspect that this would be on my list of favorite games. There's pictures too at the link.

    Posted by Ted at 01:45 PM | Comments (1)

    July 23, 2004

    It's Never A Bad Time To Be Polite

    tombstone.jpg
    Tombstone Generator thanks to LeeAnn, Susie and others...

    Posted by Ted at 11:07 PM | Comments (1)

    "Rain Some Doom, Rocket!"

    Title courtesy of the spirited Gir. How can you not love someone who quotes Invader Zim?

    Well, using my pitiful Paint Shop Pro skills, I've come up with a banner for the Hot Jets.

    HotJets.jpg

    Feel free to add it to your template, or post it once up, or ignore it altogether. I'm easy.

    Posted by Ted at 04:56 AM | Comments (3)

    July 22, 2004

    Mosquito in the room

    Must be, what else could be whining like that?

    I mean, Victor mentions bad juju because his girlfriend, Nic, becomes a Hot Jet cheerleader for Rocket Jones. Did she pick me over Victor? Of course not, it's all in the timing, and I notice now that Victor has formed a team in the league as well. Rats of Chaos, eh? Good name, Victor. Strong juju.

    Then there's Nick, who suspects coercion. Don't forget the bribes Nick. Dig deep and find evidence for bribes too. :) It couldn't possibly be that I just emailed each and every lady individually, asked nicely, and said 'please'? "Hired", indeed.

    Darn mosquito. Probably irate that he didn't think of it first.

    It's annika I fear, because she's already doing research. Unless one of us lucks out and the fourteenth best wide reciever available in the draft has an absolutely monster year, she might stomp us all. On the field, that is, because on the sidelines, you all might as well change your names to Jacques.

    More classy, sassy, bold and brassy Hot Jets on the squad. Say hello to:

    Emma, of Miss Apropos!
    Blogoline, of Blogoline's Journal!
    Kat, of Mostly Fluff!
    Lynn S., of Reflections in d minor!
    Tink, of Flitting Here and There!

    ...to go along with the original batch o'lovelies:

    Denita, of Who Tends The Fires!
    Cindy, of Squipper!
    Susie, of Practical Penumbra!
    Nic, of Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax!
    LeeAnn, of The Cheese Stands Alone!
    Gir, of Your Moosey Fate!
    Heather, of Angelweave!
    Stevie, of Caught In The XFire!
    Jennifer, of Jennifer's History and Stuff!
    Mookie, of MookieRiffic!

    What color are your helmets, toast-boy? I hope they match that lovely shade of green I see hear.

    Posted by Ted at 05:46 PM | Comments (2)

    Too funny

    Major thanks to QandO for pointing this one out (via Wizbang). Scroll down, read the last paragraph, and remember Rule Number 1: never piss off the people who make you look good.

    Posted by Ted at 01:04 PM | Comments (0)

    Commitment to Excellence

    And the desperation sets in. Annika has already purchased a fantasy football draft guide, and I've heard rumors that one of the other teams is trying to hire Bill Walsh as a draft consultant.

    But while secret (and not-so-secret) plans are being laid for future success, Rocket Jones is already whupping the competition. That's right folks, it is my privilege to introduce, for the first second time ever, the Hot Jets, cheerleaders for the Rockets! Give it up for the classiest and sassiest group of ladies to ever shake a pom-pom.

    In no particular order (how could you ever put one above another?);

    Heather, of Angelweave!
    Stevie, of Caught In The XFire!
    Susie, of Practical Penumbra!
    Nic, of Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax!
    LeeAnn, of The Cheese Stands Alone!
    Gir, of Your Moosey Fate!
    Denita, of Who Tends The Fires!
    Cindy, of Squipper!
    Jennifer, of Jennifer's History and Stuff!
    Mookie, of MookieRiffic!

    Spirits are high, tryouts continue, and I expect the squad will grow.

    For those wondering (humor me), team colors are black, white and red. The reason for that is that NASA and the military did visibility studies to determine the best colors to paint a rocket. Large swaths of - you guessed it - black, white and red, alternated for contrast works best. For extra visibility, we often add sparkly and shiny bits, so they'll catch the light on the way down and make it easier to follow. Come to think of it, that's what we do with cheerleaders too.

    Posted by Ted at 06:39 AM | Comments (3)

    July 21, 2004

    Win one for the Phipper

    Sorry about the title, I couldn't resist.

    I'm signed up for Blogger Bowl 2004, yet another foray into the world of fantasy sports. Football this time, in a league that looks to be mostly Munuvian. Thanks to Nick for the invite.

    Now, some of you may think you're too inexperienced to join. Poppycock! Sign on up and we'll help you out, because we love fresh meat we're all friends and nice people. Right?

    This will be an auto-draft, which means that Yahoo will determine the draft order, and then dole out players based on who's left that's best. In other words, when it's your pick, you'll get the best player left at that position at that time. Based on my fantasy hockey experiences, it's fair.

    Now what you might not know is that you can "elevate" players to increase your odds of picking him up. For instance, say you absolutely must have Kelly Ripa at quarterback (or is that Jim Kelly? I get them confused), then you can go into Yahoo and - following their pretty good directions - bump that players' value up so that when it's your turn and he's available, you'll get him. Cool!

    Specific tips for my opponents:

    1. Mike Ditka is not running for office. Mike Ditka is one of the greatest Tight Ends in history. Put 'em together and you'll notice that he's available!!! Head over to Yahoo and put Mike Ditka as your first draft pick for Tight End.

    2. This one is kind of a longshot, but if you draft Howie Long high enough, you'll probably lure him out of retirement. Worth a shot.

    3. Gale Sayers was the one who didn't die in Brian's Song, so he's still available. Get thee to Yahoo now! Not convinced? Gale Sayer's didn't die twice!!! Obviously a winner, and someone you'd want on your team.

    4. Don't be like the New York Giants, and accidentally draft a dead player. Live players will generally score more points for you than dead ones.

    5. Kickers can be the difference between success and failure, and nothing is worse than losing because your kicker was on a bye week. Think creatively, and draft outside the box. Freddy Adeu has no NFL bye weeks, and he's one heck of a kicker.

    6. Team names are important. You should spend hours if not days agonizing over yours. For instance, Rockets implies grace and speed, while using muscle and raw power to get it done. If you decide to call your team the Twinkly Fairies, they better be tough. Sometimes you can go for the humorous monicker, like Altoona Fish or Tijuana Lapdancers. The key here is to agonize, because angst makes for very good football.

    7. Everyone else in the league is in it for one thing only - to win. Myself, on the other hand, am in it for the fun. And we all know that it's more fun if everyone's having fun. So if I offer you a trade, don't look at it too closely, just rest easy knowing that anything I propose is good for everybody equally. Just click "approve" and we'll all be happier.

    8. This is fantasy football, so it's ok to have your weird superstitions. You wanna wear the same lucky underwear all season without washing them? Go right ahead, I don't mind a bit. Oh, and if you believe that the 'fantasy' part means you start having homoerotic daydreams about your players, well, I don't want to hear about it. Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course.

    8. Yep, I typed eight again, just to see who's still paying attention.

    I'm sure there's more...

    Posted by Ted at 05:44 AM | Comments (1)

    July 20, 2004

    New scam to double my hits

    This link is absolutely not safe for work, so you'll have to come back this evening to check it out. And believe you me, it's worth it.

    As Wegglywoo says:

    thank gaia! someone finally found a way to combine breasts, phonecams, and the web!

    That's right, it's Cleavage!

    What? You don't visit Wegglywoo? For shame.

    [her] head and stomach were in revolt against the alcohol in her system even before we got home, and she complained that i was driving in circles. i told her i knew where i was going, and that i was going quite straight. she explained that she meant vertical circles, like a ferris wheel.

    She's witty and wise, and celebrates both Thong Thursday and Tits Out Tuesday. Now how can you argue with that?

    As final evidence that she's a classy lady, Rocket Jones is prominently absent from her blogroll.

    Posted by Ted at 04:26 AM | Comments (1)

    July 19, 2004

    Washington DC's only winning football team

    The D.C. Divas professional woman's football team finished the season undefeated and made it into the second round of the playoffs before falling last weekend to two-time champs Detroit in a close game (20-14). The Divas are part of the 30-team National Woman's Football Association.

    Divas team colors are burgundy and gold (big surprise there), but what's up with that Cowboy-esque star in the logo?

    Posted by Ted at 06:09 AM | Comments (1)

    Pretty flowers

    These pictures make me sooooooo jealous.

    Posted by Ted at 04:57 AM | Comments (0)

    July 17, 2004

    Don't snicker, it's a Vorpal Bunny

    Yutaka Fukufuji is Japan's hope for respectablility in Olympic ice hockey. He attends development camps in the US and played for Cincinnati in the East Coast Hockey League.

    Here's a picture of Fukufuji in the gear for Kokudo, his home team in Japan.

    Thanks to Sharkspage for the pointer.

    Posted by Ted at 02:49 PM | Comments (0)

    July 16, 2004

    Stage right

    There've been some new MuNuvians added (there are getting to be quite a lot of us too), and some others added to the blogroll farther down. I recommend finding one you've never visited and give a read. If you like it, tell 'em Rocket Jones sent you. If you don't, well, life is full of little disappointments, isn't it?

    Posted by Ted at 06:51 AM | Comments (1)

    July 15, 2004

    Tip #1, Never ever forget to invite Bubba

    Martha Stewart appears in court tomorrow for sentencing, complete with her friends, family, legal team and a "sentencing consultant".

    "A federal prosecution is incredibly adversarial. You can come out of it feeling victimized, saying 'They were mean to me, or they didn't have to go that far,'" says [consultant] Novak. But he emphasizes to them: "Your choices and the consequences for those choices are truly what put you in this position."

    Pruno. It's time to pull out the good crystal!

    Posted by Ted at 06:02 AM | Comments (0)

    Happy Birthday Mookie!

    Go on over to her place and wish her a happy 16th! And while you're there, remind her to clean her room.

    And Mookie, I found this for you. You're welcome sweetie.

    Posted by Ted at 04:41 AM | Comments (0)

    July 14, 2004

    Holding Pattern stuff

    One of my favorite features of Movable Type is 'draft mode'. I'll find stuff out on the net, then throw together notes and links and such into a drafted article until I can get around to polishing it until I get bored, then it goes out as is.

    Once in a while, when the muse is silent, and I'm too lazy or busy to nudge her the hell up, I'll pull out one of my "Holding Pattern" posts and there you go - instant content.

    For instance, here's two that I've been sitting on for a while now, both courtesy of Alan E. Brain.

    The CSS Zen Garden . Site design ideas and inspiration.

    And for those more inclined to the arts, presented here are Earth songs in Klingon - funny funny stuff!

    Enjoy!

    Posted by Ted at 10:35 AM | Comments (0)

    July 13, 2004

    Found her!

    A while back I wrote about a rocket I fly called Ain't Misbehavin', and posted a picture of the decal for it. I'd mentioned that the pinup-style lady on the decal was from an artist named Shannanigan, but that I'd lost the link. Well, I found it again, and her site is well worth a visit.

    Psst. She does Sims stuff too.

    Oh yeah, Yahoo has taken down all my old photo pages, so I've included the decal for Ain't Misbehavin' in the extended entry.

    I added the lettering in PowerPoint, and the edges are smooth on the decal, they jagged-ed when I converted the image to .jpg.
    AintMisb.jpg

    Posted by Ted at 08:57 PM | Comments (0)

    July 12, 2004

    It is a silly place

    Major thanks to Lawren for pointing out that next year the Broadway musical version of Monty Python & the Holy Grail premiers.

    Let the spankings commence!

    Posted by Ted at 11:19 AM | Comments (2)

    I'll take 'ass whooping' for $1000, Alex

    Have you been watching Jeopardy lately?

    Jennings is making the most of a change in "Jeopardy!" rules. To mark the start of its 20th season last September, the quiz show lifted its five-game limit for winners and allowed them to keep going until they lose.

    He's won 28 nights in a row, and has over $900,000 in winnings so far. The article talks about how self-deprecating he is, and it's true. This guy has had the opportunity to really run it up and hasn't done so. He makes modest, non-greedy Final Jeopardy wagers - which he almost always wins - and just destroys the competition by being faster on the button and giving the right answers. I've also never seen him buzz in just to guess at an answer, the guy has his act together.

    By the way, my wife reminded me that we'd seen the longest contestant appearance streak ever on a show called Tic Tac Dough, hosted by Wink Martindale. On that show, a Naval officer named Thom McKee stayed on the show for 45 straight games.

    Posted by Ted at 05:58 AM | Comments (1)

    July 10, 2004

    The Trailer Trash Culture Thingy

    Lynn from Reflections in D minor has put together the latest quiz to show just how uncivilized we are. Personally, I'm such a gentleman I take the dishes out of the sink before I pee (who recognizes that quote?).

    Anyway, the choices are in the extended entry, and my preferences in bold.

    1. UPN or Fox?
    2. roller derby or WWE?
    3. Loretta Lynn or Tammy Wynette?
    4. Tony Lama or Durango? (this one has me stumped)
    5. fried Spam or fried boloney?
    6. Buck Owens or Porter Wagoner?
    7. fiddle or banjo?
    8. Texas or Tennessee?
    9. Ford or Chevy? (pickup of course) -- doesn't matter, Ford sucks
    10. extended cab or long bed?
    11. Tabasco or Texas Pete's?
    12. Saints or Cowboys?
    13. baseball cap or cowboy hat?
    14. double wide or single wide? -- I grew up in one
    15. Wal-mart or K-mart?
    16. "Your Cheatin' Heart" or "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry"?
    17. Gunsmoke or Bonanza?
    18. Johnny Cash or Merle Haggard? (ooooh... tough choice)
    19. catfish or buffalo wings?
    20. Charlie Daniels Band or ZZ Top? close call though
    21. Velvet painting: Elvis or bullfighter? what, no dogs playing poker?
    22. Plastic sunflowers or plastic flamingos?
    23. Lawn chairs: molded plastic or aluminum frame?
    24. John Wayne or Clint Eastwood?

    Posted by Ted at 10:04 PM | Comments (3)

    A musical interlude

    Saddam's visit to court, soundtrack provided by ZZ Top - Sharp Dressed Man.

    Thanks to Travelling Shoes for the pointer.

    Posted by Ted at 08:24 AM | Comments (0)

    July 09, 2004

    What would she call me if she weren't college educated?

    Here ya go, Susie. No links for monkey boy, but in his honor I just watched Bride of the Gorilla, starring Raymond Burr, from 1951. Good flick.

    Posted by Ted at 10:20 PM | Comments (1)

    More PDA reading stuff

    I'm discovering that trying to read internet sites not specifically formatted for PDA viewing can be a royal pain in the butt.

    Eric McErlain's Off Wing Opinion is wonderful. He's got a dedicated mirror site that formats everything nicely, so that when I 'sync' and it gets downloaded, it shows up beautifully on the screen of my iPAQ. So I get all the great OWO sports articles in a handy, easy to read format.

    On the other hand, sites like Scrappleface or USS Clueless are difficult to deal with because of scrolling issues, as in horizontal scrolling, because the pages are too wide and don't format properly (if at all) when being downloaded.

    Now it's certainly not their problem, because I imagine it's another bit of work involved to put up a PDA-formatted site with your content, and who wants more to do just for a relatively few readers.

    So I was wondering, might it be possible to use an RSS aggregator to collect posts from hither and yon, using it to strip away the problem bits, and then point the AvantGo channel to the RSS output?

    Must do more research...

    Posted by Ted at 11:51 AM | Comments (0)

    I'm in a good mood, honest!

    World Court Rules Isreal's West Bank Barrier Illegal. Oops, I think they misspelled "effective". I've struggled with this one, because of the parallels between this wall and the Berlin Wall. Major (and critical) differences exist, but the two absolutely share the trait of being effective.

    Moving right along...

    The headline should've read "This Security Briefing brought to you by the letters 'C', 'Y', and 'A'". What exactly was the reason for that worthless little infomercial? Besides having something to point to later when the idiots start whining about not being warned, that is. Intelligence gathering is difficult and an incredibly inexact science art, and people need to start admitting that. The best organizations in the world get it wrong as often as not, and you'll seldom hear about the successes because it can compromise future operations. Yet now we get officials holding nonsensical press briefings to say the same thing they've been telling us all along in anticipation of some future molehill-sized fingerpointing fest.

    Norbizness does this so much better than I do.

    Redefining "jumping the shark".

    All right, that's enough. I just saw a headline about cell phones damaging sperm, and the first thing that came to mind is "hang up while driving and getting a hummer".

    Posted by Ted at 06:10 AM | Comments (0)

    Excuse me, I thought you were someone else

    There has been some buzz in our little corner of the 'net about a certain someone posting her fuzzy grainy miniscule picture on her blog.

    This isn't her.

    This isn't either.

    Nope.

    But I bet you wish it was.

    PS. I have a date with her. Neener neener.

    Posted by Ted at 05:05 AM | Comments (3)

    July 08, 2004

    Virtual Voodoo Dolls

    For Dawn, who probably needs these more than anyone else I know.

    Posted by Ted at 11:18 AM | Comments (1)

    Soliciting Input

    I've signed up for the AvantGo service for my iPAQ Pocket PC. What this means is that I can subscribe to selected online publications and have content downloaded onto my PDA. It's free, and so far the obligatory advertising is unobtrusive enough to make it worthwhile.

    I'm wondering what kind of news service(s) y'all think I should get. They offer standards like The Wall St Journal, The New York Times and The Washington Post, as well as Rueters and BBC. I was even pleasantly surprised to see the Christian Science Monitor available. I've got my own ideas about these, but would like to hear yours.

    I'm just learning about how AvantGo actually works, but so far it's been fairly straightforward. I've successfully downloaded pages from a couple of technology pubs, plus Space.com and The Sporting News, and this morning I created a custom 'channel' for Eric McErlain's Off Wing Opinion. We'll see how that works this evening when I synchronize with my home PC.

    Who needs Tetris? I've got words!

    Posted by Ted at 07:43 AM | Comments (4)

    Except for the detour around Wealthville...

    Thanks to Susie and Johnny-Oh, I now know where I am on the highway of life.

    (in the extended entry)

    PS. Some beasties like bogs. I am one such critter.

    Rocket Jones Highway
    Mt. Happiness7
    Wealthville14
    Contentment Meadows53
    Hobotown137
    Bog of Eternal Marriage511
    Please Drive Carefully
    Username:
    Where are you on the highway of life?
    From Go-Quiz.com
    Posted by Ted at 06:32 AM | Comments (2)

    July 07, 2004

    Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

    This time around, my fancy has been caught largely by technology posts, which isn’t unprecedented I suppose.

    First stop is Murdoc Online, with his look at Great Lake water levels and a splash of cold perspective to those who need it. Good story, great ending.

    Al talks about what I’ve always suspected about pilots. You have to be detail-oriented, level-headed, clear thinking, quick reacting, and have the black soul of DeSade. Quoting Rick Riley:

    ”I was worried about getting airsick, so the night before the flight I asked Biff if there was something I should eat the next morning.

    "Bananas," he said.

    "For the potassium?" I asked.

    "No," Biff said, "because they taste about the same coming up as they do going down."


    And since we’re talking about bodily functions of the output class, here’s a childish joke that I’ve already told my family, friends and anyone else who would listen that I found over at Mostly Fluff:
    Guess who just got back together after a bunch of crap?

    My buttcheeks.


    Try it on a 3rd grader, they’ll treat you like the French treat Jerry Lewis.

    Next up – and somehow I got my mojo on because this is flowing incredibly well – here’s a story about a French sculptor who created a piece to honor the Americans at D-Day, and the support she received from other French to keep the project moving forward. Thanks Casey, from The Gantry Launchpad for pointing this one out.

    Who likes roller coasters? In our family, roller coasters ranks right up there with cheese and hugs on the list of important things in life. Five years ago we took a family vacation dubbed “Roller Coasters and Rockets”: a week-long rocket launch sandwiched by multiple day stays at two amusement parks. Ooo baby ooo baby ooo (you can quote me if you'd like).

    So if you’re like us, you’ll definitely want to stay away from LegoLand in San Diego. Read the sad details over at QandO.

    Whack-a-Mole. Smack down an elected idiot. Same concept, courtesy of Stephen at Hold the Mayo. My letter is drafted and goes out tomorrow.

    So where’s all the technology posts, eh? Like a centrifuge spinning faster and faster, the weightier subjects all collect at the bottom. Yeah, I know, whatta crock…

    Anticipatory Retaliation points the way to a site that shows you how to use your microwave and common household chemicals in the right proportions a nifty little toy to measure the speed of light.

    I liked Michael Gross much better in Tremors than in Family Ties.

    Bad movie physics. As in bad physics in movies, not physics in bad movies. Check it out and be prepared to howl. Thanks to Transterrestrial Musings for the link.

    Remember when I talked about inflatables in space? Perv, I’m talking about this post. Rocket Forge points out that it looks like the Chinese are interested in the technology, and Bigelow has been moving ahead with prototypes.

    File this one under 'science fiction': Kim Jong-Il, beloved leader of North Korea, loves golf.

    The "Great Leader" routinely shoots three or four holes-in-one per round, the government-controlled media reported.

    Take that you running dog capitalist lackeys. Big thanks to Eric of Off Wing Opinion for today's best chuckle.

    And finally, just because someone must be last, is a nifty story from AEBrain about Coca Cola and the potential to ruin someone’s day in a National Security kinda way. The proposed solution would never work, it makes too much sense. Look for revised (and obscenely expanded) rules to be published soon.

    So that’s it. Bananas and butt cheeks, Michael Gross and inflatables, and of course the obligatory BDSM reference from Bondage Rocket Jones. Have fun.

    Posted by Ted at 04:47 AM | Comments (3)

    July 06, 2004

    Aviation Art

    Some of my favorite works are by Dru Blair. Check out his site for some great works.

    (more in the extended entry)

    According to the website, Mr. Blair allows the use of his images as wallpapers, which is how I have them.

    View "Deliverance"

    View "Tomcat"

    Posted by Ted at 04:40 AM | Comments (0)

    July 05, 2004

    Who Was Who

    I've just finished an oldie-timey humor book called Who Was Who, 5000 B.C. to Date. Edited by Irwin Gordon around 1910, the humor is gentle and good for a smile, but what I found most interesting is the general attitudes and mores of the day that are included.

    According to the Foreward:

    Who Was Who contains over 500 biographies of those who did or endeavored to become famous.

    Mr. Gordon states his policy for accepting corrections - from friends and enemies alike - and notes that the text is protected by the libel laws of both Great Britain and the United States.
    Under no circumstance will duels be fought.

    Here are a few of my favorite entries:
    BACON, Francis, either wrote or did not write Shakespeare.

    GOOSE, Mother, a fine old lady who was loved by all, but who told some awful untruths to the innocent.

    ROY, Robert, a very wicked Scotchman whom we all hope will always escape the police.

    SANTOS-DUMONT, a pre-Zeppelin-Wright air investigator who had enough money and sense to quit before people remarked how natural he looked.

    Just for the heck of it, I went and googled "Who Was Who" and came up with several pages of nifty links to explore.

    Posted by Ted at 10:53 AM | Comments (0)

    July 03, 2004

    Don't Fight The Feeling

    TV Land is showing the Flip Wilson Show every weekday evening at 5pm. Awesome.

    Posted by Ted at 05:50 PM | Comments (1)

    July 02, 2004

    What he said

    Rock, Paper, Saddam. Thanks to Curmudgeonly & Skeptical for the pointer.

    Posted by Ted at 09:29 PM | Comments (0)

    Sayonara

    Marlon Brando.

    Posted by Ted at 12:55 PM | Comments (0)

    Too good to miss

    Bits of an exchange over on the Munuviana group blog, under the title Blacklist Backfire:

    CD: Hey, I can't use the word "socialist" in my comments because it contains the word "Cialis."

    Pixy Misa: Just call them filthy godless Commies like everyone else.

    Posted by Ted at 06:33 AM | Comments (0)

    What's that, Lassie? (updated)

    No, Timmy didn't fall into the well again. Lassie just wanted to remind everyone that half the stuff in Adam & Eve's catalog can be found cheaper at PetSmart.

    Don't believe me? Take the test: Dog Toy or Marital Aid?

    Kudos to Rich for pointing this one out.

    Update: Ok, home from work. I took the first two rounds and scored 9 out of 14 twice.

    Posted by Ted at 06:20 AM | Comments (1)

    July 01, 2004

    What if they held an election and everybody came?

    Mongolia recently held elections and the resident Communist Party suffered huge losses, to the point that they may be out of power. But the truly remarkable part is that their election had an 80% voter turnout!

    Thanks to The Marmot for the story, and to Simon for pointing it out.

    Posted by Ted at 07:18 AM | Comments (1)

    June 27, 2004

    Cycles in the universe

    Victor brings up the bondage pants again, and then this morning whilst cruising the ol' linklist I find Velociman pointing out this site (via this guy, who is very funny) where you can meet ladies who're temporarily guests of the state. At least one of them is a Dominant (Domme, in the parlance), who helpfully mentions that she's incarcerated for a non-violent crime. Considering this post I made just days ago, that brings to three the number of recent mentions of BDSM, which fulfills the prophesy and closes the circle. No need to worry about the end-of-the-world thing, it's a small circle. At worst, your front lawn may die.

    In totally unrelated news, I've discovered that by going out into the backyard and shouting "Ni!", the squirrels are leaving my bird feeder alone. Probably no connection, I know, but someone did leave a nice shrubbery on the front porch overnight.

    Crap. I just remembered that I watched Secretary last night. The circle begins anew.

    Posted by Ted at 09:17 AM | Comments (0)

    June 25, 2004

    Freedom Park

    The new job is across the street from my old corporate headquarters (long since moved to the 'burbs), so the area isn't completely unfamiliar to me. Walking around this week, I found a new park that's been built since I last visited the area. Called Freedom Park, I'll try to describe the place, but I also recommend going here for some great pictures.

    To start off, set back from the street in a nook between two skyscrapers, are nine sections of the original Berlin Wall. The sections are covered with artwork from three different artists, and there are several placards placed in front that talk about the wall. See those pictures! They also have an original East German guard tower from near Checkpoint Charlie.

    To the left of this display is a set of steps (the entire park moves uphill in terraced steps as it broadly curves to the right) leading up to a series of symbols of freedom from around the world. Among the symbols are cast bronze replicas of the Goddess of Democracy located in Tienamen Square (similar to the Statue of Liberty, but with oriental eyes), a South African ballot box (end of apartied), the door to the jail cell where Martin Luther King, Jr was held, a small homemade boat used by Cuban refugees, reproductions of Women's Sufferage banners, an actual toppled stone statue of Lenin - sans head, a section of cobbles from the Warsaw Jewish ghetto, and finally, a slightly less than 1/2 scale bronze of "Freedom", the 1863 sculpture by Thomas Crawford that crowns the dome of the US Capitol building.

    Still farther up is a Journalists Memorial, dedicated to those who gave their lives while practicing freedom of the press, known and unknown. A kiosk with a touchscreen terminal contains a directory of names on the memorial. There is also an attached Journalists Museum, but I haven't been in there yet.

    Adjoining the memorial is a long curving series of fountains dedicated to early American journalism pioneers. Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Paine, James Gordon Bennett, Frederick Douglas, Horace Greeley (he of the advice to head west), and Ida B. Wells.

    Across from the fountains are 270 pictures painted by kids that represent freedom. Freedom from Fear, Freedom of Religion, Freedom to Grow, Freedom to Learn, and so on.

    Whoever designed the park did a nice job making it feel larger than it really is. It's impossible to hide the towering buildings around, but the eye is drawn downwards into the park itself. There are trees and grassy areas, and plenty of benches to enjoy the fresh air. This was a pleasant surprise to find, especially in the heart of the downtown area, and I'll probably go there often to have my lunch. If you're in the Rosslyn area of Arlington, you should check it out.

    Posted by Ted at 08:45 PM | Comments (1)

    June 24, 2004

    About as far from work-related as possible

    Then again, this might be the most work-related link ever, depending on where you work. Not work safe.

    Whoops! Forgot to credit the link: Fleshbot, for naughtyness.

    Posted by Ted at 05:22 PM | Comments (0)

    June 21, 2004

    Things that make the boss go 'hmmmm'

    Twice now, Dawn's boss has caught her headbanging, and once it was a song with rather... *ahem* inappropriate lyrics. It's good to remind the boss that total control over their realm isn't gonna happen.

    I caught hell once in the Air Force for my music. I was jammin' to Zappa's "Joe's Garage" when an unexpected VIP dropped by. The music wasn't loud, so I didn't even think to turn it down or off. Once the VIP left my boss called me in for an ass-chewing.

    Wet T-Shirt Night

    Looks to me like something funny is going on around here
    People laughin' 'n' dancin' 'n' payin' entirely too much for their beer
    And they all think they're clean outta-sight
    And they're ready to party 'cause the sign outside says it's WET T-SHIRT NITE
    And they all crave some hot delight

    Well the girls are excited because in a minute they're gonna get wet
    And the boys are delighted because all the titties will get 'em upset
    And they all think they are really awright
    And they're ready to boogie 'cause the sign outside says it's WET T-SHIRT NITE
    And they all crave some pink delight

    When the water gets on 'em their ninnies get rigid and look pretty bold
    It's a common reaction that makes an attraction whenever it's cold
    And all of the fellas they wish they could bite
    On the cute little nuggets the local girls are showin' off tonite
    You know I think it serves 'em right
    You know I think it serves 'em right
    You know I think it serves 'em right
    You know I think it serves 'em right
    And it's WET T-SHIRT TIME AGAIN
    I know you want someone to show you some tit!

    BIG ONES!
    WET ONES!
    BIG WET ONES!


    Another time (same squadron), my best friend and I volunteered to work at the Special Olympics. We had a great time and scored a couple of cool t-shirts, which we promptly took home and tie-dyed. We wore them to our next squadron picnic, and were both called in the following day for drug testing. I loved drug testing because when the results came back I always teased them about being naturally crazy.

    With the right attitude, drugs are redundant.

    Posted by Ted at 05:07 AM | Comments (2)

    June 20, 2004

    OHMYGOD!!!!

    Check out Google! It's the Menendez brothers getting ready to take out Dad on his special day!

    Hey, you don't live to be an old geezer without being a little paranoid.

    Posted by Ted at 07:41 PM | Comments (0)

    June 19, 2004

    Another moving target

    DeMythology has moved, and VoodooChild has renamed his blog The Temple of Rock (as in music). Check it out and change your links.

    Posted by Ted at 07:20 AM | Comments (0)

    June 18, 2004

    15'll get you 20

    You've probably heard that the state of Virginia is now cracking down on statutory rape, which is a good thing. Except that they've decided to do it by launching a milquetoast advertising campaign.

    Kat at Mostly Fluff (nice new digs by the way, adjust your links) has some killer suggestions for slogans that might actually be effective. My favorite:

    If she wants YOU she’s too young to know better, pervert.

    Go on over and say hi. Enjoy the sweet everydayness of Mostly Fluff.

    Posted by Ted at 08:20 PM | Comments (1)

    June 17, 2004

    Huh?

    Curmudgeonly & Skeptical is shut down? What the hell?

    Update: He's back. Dunno what happened.

    Posted by Ted at 10:29 PM | Comments (0)

    Fonts

    I admit it, I'm a font-lovin' fool. I've got a gazillion of 'em on my PC, and I'll spend time looking for just the right one when I need to add a little pizazz to a project.

    Alan E. Brain posted this nice link to a slew of alien-style fonts from science fiction.

    My favorite font resource on the 'net is Mary Forrest's Free Font Fiesta. The site has been around for many years, and she keeps the link list reasonably up-to-date. Here's her home page too, it's a fun place to look around.

    Other resources I use:

    Aquamarine's Fonts Place
    Chankstore Freefont Archives
    Eric Brooks

    Google up "free fonts" for thousands more possibilities.

    Posted by Ted at 09:43 PM | Comments (1)

    June 10, 2004

    If'n it don't rhyme, then it ain't no poem

    The Carnival of the Vanities is up at Ambient Irony. Pixy has included lots of links to thoughtful and insightful posts there, but no pictures. Darnit.

    Posted by Ted at 09:11 AM | Comments (0)

    June 09, 2004

    Words of wisdom

    Fortune Cookie Maker

    McDonalds Sign Generator

    And lots more too. Thanks to J-Walk Blog for the pointer.

    Posted by Ted at 05:42 AM | Comments (0)

    June 07, 2004

    He's back!

    Mark Oakley of Rocket Man Blog has spent the last couple of months moving and getting into his new job as chief propulsion engineer for TGV Rockets, one of the companies going for the X-Prize.

    Things have settled down for him enough to resume blogging, and I'm looking forward to interesting times ahead. Stop by and welcome him back. Who knows, maybe we can work a deal for a 'bloggers discount' on trips into space?

    Posted by Ted at 06:11 AM | Comments (1)

    Extreme Mumbledly-peg

    Knife Throwing 101, courtesy of Iron Bear over at Who Tends the Fires.

    This is one of those things that is on my "everyone should know" list. You do carry a knife, right? At the very least, a Swiss-army or Boy Scout pocket knife should be part of your daily kit. Something larger and defensively-oriented should be in your car. And you should know enough about using it to be a credible threat, because nothing is more frightening than facing someone who obviously knows how to use that knife in their hand. And at some point, that might mean your only good option is throwing your knife at the target. Iron Bear has the best advice possible on the subject.

    Even if you don't stick or cut your target, throwing a knife can have benefits. I'm assuming here that you have a backup like another knife, you don't throw your only weapon in most situations. The first benefit is pretty obvious, most folks will flinch if a knife is coming their way, probably a lot too, and that's a hell of a distraction. Use that distraction to get away, or to prepare for the disabling move you're going to win the fight with (like hosing him down with pepper spray). Also, since you don't lob or toss a knife - you throw it hard - another benefit is that even if you hit your target with the hilt of the knife, it should feel like a Randy Johnson fastball, and he's going to take a moment to do a quick check and realize that the blade isn't buried deep. Again, get away or use the time to win the fight.

    Like many skills, accurate and effective knife throwing isn't technically difficult, but it takes time to develop the ability, and more time to practice and keep your skills sharp.

    Guys, impress the ladies. Ladies, impress the guys and remember: nothing says "no" like a woman who can perform an impromptu vasectomy from across the room (that's 'Dad' talking, by the way).

    Posted by Ted at 05:59 AM | Comments (8)

    June 05, 2004

    Mind those pine-fresh pigeons! They might get high on you!

    Nobody specifically asked, but I'm all about anticipating your needs, so I'm pleased to point you to a random surreal phrase generator that you can put on your sidebar!

    Thanks to Chicken Soup for the Vegan Soul for the link, which I can't find again on her site, but my post-it note iPAQ says that's where it came from, so I must believe me. Or forever be lime. How surreal.

    Posted by Ted at 10:33 AM | Comments (0)

    June 04, 2004

    In Klingon, the name would be K'Ben

    A Rat to English dictionary.

    Somehow, I think Victor and Nic already knew about this. They probably contributed.

    Thanks to J-Walk Blog for the pointer.

    Posted by Ted at 12:40 PM | Comments (1)

    June 03, 2004

    Just Damn

    Like I said, I like to cook, but I've never gotten this reaction to one of my culinary creations:

    This is an evil pie. If it was a human being, it would be the kind that your daughter explores her love of bondage and discipline with. If it was a flower, it would be a dandelion nodding its impudent yellow head on the 18th hole at Augusta. If it was a car, it would be the bastard love-child of KITT and the Batmobile--and the midwife would be Jesse James. It's a high-voltage vibrator-induced multiple orgasm for your tastebuds.

    I stand humbled.

    Posted by Ted at 12:23 PM | Comments (0)

    All things (virtual) classic pinball

    Just last night, while Mookie was practicing her driving, we were talking and I mentioned an old pinball machine that I used to play at the NCO club. Funny how it happens, because this morning I come across this place: VPForums, where they live, breathe and eat pinball. Make sure to check out their sister site, where they have lovingly recreated 883 classic pinball tables!!!

    I'll be perusing their database this evening, and hopefully I'll find that machine I remember so fondly.

    Posted by Ted at 10:23 AM | Comments (1)

    Good Eats

    It's no secret that I like to cook, and just looking at me tells you that I love to eat. Years ago in high school, a science teacher said something that always stayed with me, which was:

    Cooking is chemestry.

    Everything that happens when you cook is either a chemical process or the catalyst for a chemical process, and that includes mixing, heating, blending, baking... all of it. We use recipes to control those chemical processes in a way that leads to (hopefully) edible food.

    Alton Brown has a show on the Food Network called Good Eats. In it, he digs deep into the why of cooking, and he's entertaining as hell doing it. If you haven't had a chance to see it, you really should. His shows generally focus on one narrow theme - for instance, fish & chips - and as he cooks, you get the story on what's really happening to the food as you prepare it. And knowing the 'why' of things helps you to understand why certain things are done and to avoid potential problems.

    J-Walk Blog pointed out a nice feature about Alton Brown in Wired. It'll give you a better idea of why this show is one of my favorites on television.

    Posted by Ted at 09:31 AM | Comments (2)

    May 27, 2004

    Wanna see my Pump Rocket?

    It's bigger than it looks. In fact, I actually had it in my hand, all ready to give to the checkout lady, but my conscience kicked in and I put it away. Even so, it's very impressive and lots of fun to play with.

    What?

    Posted by Ted at 06:46 AM | Comments (0)

    May 26, 2004

    The slogan kinda bothers me though

    On the way home from Michigan, we passed a billboard with this website, which made me think of The Llama Butchers.

    Great URL - "Lamalot" - which makes me think of Richard Burton as king, with singing and dancing Llamas all over the place. Very memorable image, which is what you want.

    But, "Try Llamas - For Pleasure or Profit"?!?!? Ewwwwww.

    Posted by Ted at 02:49 PM | Comments (1)

    May 25, 2004

    She ain't "riffic" for nothing!

    Mookie is the latest (first?) viewer/blogger to be posted on FuseBlog*, and has been invited to submit more posts. They've also added MookieRiffic and Fear Your Future to their blogroll.

    In the traditional Munuvian manner: Yay!

    *Fuse is a channel that does music videos, kinda like what MTV started out to be. I like 'em too, they rock.

    Posted by Ted at 02:58 PM | Comments (2)

    Quickies

    You have a dirty mind. Uh huh, I can see the smirk. It matches mine. :D

    I haven't had the chance to look around yet, so these may be so yesterday's news.

    From the Universal Church of Cosmic Uncertainty comes notice that the story about the lady who rode her motorcycle through the Cherbobyl area is a hoax. I know several bloggers linked to this one, but annika is the only one I recall at the moment.

    Also filed under 'oops' is the story about the religious couple who couldn't figure out why she wasn't getting pregnant. Kevin of Wizbang exposes it as another hoax. Since everyone reads Wizbang (or should), you already knew this.

    Posted by Ted at 07:34 AM | Comments (0)

    Amusing myself on the way to work

    This morning during the commute I was listening to one of my big band CD's. A song came on and brought back memories of classic black & white cartoons I used to watch on saturday mornings. These cartoons were before Hannah-Barbarra developed their cookie-cutter scenery style, and the music was lifted from the popular radio hits of the day.

    The name of that particular song is "Song of the Volga Boatmen" and always seemed to be used for cartoon funerals or 'scary' skeleton dances. Another popular tune often used was "Sing Sing Sing", and I'm sure there are many more I'd recognize now.

    I'll have to do some more research on this, because I don't have enough things to fill up every waking moment of my life. In the meantime, here's a site called Mike's Classic Cartoon Themes & Images. It concentrates on stuff newer than I'm talking about above, but it's still pretty cool. Seems to be fairly complete too, I mean, who else besides me remembers Marine Boy?

    Posted by Ted at 01:36 AM | Comments (1)

    May 21, 2004

    Oh fer cryin' out loud

    If you're here because of a Google search for "Calgary Flames Breast". You'll find them here (not work safe).

    Credit where credit is due: Eric of Off Wing Opinion.

    Posted by Ted at 10:14 AM | Comments (0)

    Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

    The hockey season isn't over, it just seems that way now that my beloved Sharks are out of the playoffs. Apparently there's another sport being played this time of the year...

    Let's lead off with a little baseball history, shall we? The question is: "who is the ninth man?"

    He is out there somewhere in spring training. He's probably 20 or 21, maybe 22. And he will retire in the year 2016. He will be the grand old man of baseball. And they will say, 'He's so old that the year he broke in, Eddie Murray was still playing.' And he will become the ninth man. Eddie Murray's the eighth man. When he broke in, Brooks Robinson was still playing. And when Robinson broke in, Bob Feller was still playing. And when Feller broke in, Rogers Hornsby was still playing. And when Hornsby broke in, Honus Wagner was still playing. And when Wagner broke in, Cap Anson was still playing. And when Anson broke in, Dickey Pearce was still playing. And when Pearce broke in, Doc Adams was still playing. Adams played for the Knickerbocker club inthe first organized game of baseball in 1846, number one of the eight men whose careers cover the 152 seasons since. And somewhere out there is the ninth man.

    Thanks to Off Wing Opinion for the pointer to this one.

    In the #2 spot we have Roberto of DynamoBuzz telling us about taking the family to see a minor league baseball game.

    Moving the runners along, QandO reports on "Terror Math" and what exactly it means to find a single sarin-filled artillery shell in Iraq. This is scary stuff. In related developments, John and McQ have added Dale Franks to the blogging team, removing them from the Beeblebroxian category and placing them squarely in the realm of three-headed knights of Holy Grail fame. Ni! (I know)

    Batting cleanup, we find this from the flea ethereal:

    Bruce Campbell says there is "some validity" to rumours Ash could take on Freddy and Jason.

    The mere thought makes me grin like an idiot.

    Up next is Lemur Girl, who says:

    ...we all have the same love for the sun. So when it next peeks out from behind a cloud and people rush down to bathe shirtless and in tiny tops I will gladly join them.

    Film at 11 (he wonders hopefully)?

    Batting sixth is Angelweave's Heather, who has figured out that the cicada's are actually Zerg! Yikes!

    In the seventh slot, we have Daniel, who brazenly displays a deep and penetrating understanding of mysterious technological mysteries. Jen steals the sign and calls the balk!

    Seventh inning stretch! Jello shots, courtesy of Lawren.

    Batting eighth, and consistantly going deep, is Debbye Stratigacos. Way to shut the home team down!

    And finally, batting ninth with a funny bat, we have Simon. If you love football, you're daft, according to him.

    Hitting the showers was never this much fun.

    That's it, complete game. Now will someone please tell McCarver to STFU?!?!?!

    Posted by Ted at 05:28 AM | Comments (3)

    May 20, 2004

    Conflict Map

    An interactive map showing the locations of 20th century wars. Nifty.

    Thanks to J-Walk Blog for the pointer.

    Posted by Ted at 12:02 PM | Comments (0)

    May 19, 2004

    Right up your alley

    If you're one of those people who loves to jump on the bandwagon, join the parade, be part of the 'in' crowd, can't say no, or never met a cause you couldn't get behind, well, today is your lucky day!

    Memeblog!

    Posted by Ted at 02:35 PM | Comments (0)

    May 18, 2004

    Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

    Blogger had issues, there's no argument there, but the new version added comments and more style to several of my regular stops, so that's a good thing. Here we go on the Blogspot edition of Rocketing Around the Blogosphere...

    First up is The Eternal Golden Braid, which is a great space blog. He's got comments now. Woot! I also found a link from his place to a page about StarForce, which is the space wargame and company I couldn't remember the name of here. That makes me happy too, although I'm guessing you're less than overwhelmed. May I suggest you go visit and check out his awesome Martian Pictures of the Day.

    Check out Blogeline's snazzy new design. That's what I mean by new Blogger style. She was invited to be a Munuvian by notGeorge, and I think she wants to, but she's shy. Pixy, is she on the waiting list? If not, may we get her added?

    The Llama Butchers are moving from Blogspot to new digs within the ever-expanding borders of Munuviana. Are they anti-Llama? Or are they Llama's who enjoy a little of the ol' ultra-violence, eh? Check 'em out, and decide for yourself. Warning though, they're definitely the thinking person's wooly mammal. Mammals. Whatever.

    The Cheesemistress of Chaos (who I'm sure has noted that the term 'fairy floss' sounds like something Tinkerbell would wear at her evening job on the seedy side of town) has found a new friday funfest called Blogmaze. I followed her maze and came across CowDog, who was automatically added to the blogroll just for being an adult cowpuppy.

    Somewhere and somehow I also wound up on the beach at the end of the world (not Mookie-safe, but fun nonetheless). She's Aussie, mentions breasts a lot, has pictures of submarines in her photo album (and we all know how much I love breasts submarines), and she's quite funny. Welcome to the blogroll dear. I can call her 'dear' because annika says I'm the "great elder statesman" of Munuviana, which also means I can be grouchy too, so back off ya whippersnapper.

    And look what I found there on the beach, this video of a girl folding t-shirts. Go on, watch it. You know ya wanna. It's safe for work.

    Publicola is another former blogspotter who's now a Munuvian. If you want to know about firearms rights and the second amendment, he's a good place to start. And if you're interested, check out Alphecca, Say Uncle, Murdoc Online, Spoons and the Shooter's Carnival for more about guns and shooting.

    More recent additions to the blogroll, maybe you'll find something new and interesting to add to your lists:
    Opinion8 - he's also a regular commenter at the Ministry of Minor Perfidy
    Serenade - a Brit, I believe.
    Republican Atheist Rocket Scientist Man - almost as descriptive as the literal Rocket Jones, eh?

    That's it, I'm outta here. Dinner and a hockey game coming up.

    Posted by Ted at 04:14 PM | Comments (3)

    Practice your innocent look first

    Have some fun with this site where you can create fake newspaper stories about your favorite (or not-so-favorite) people.

    (work sensitive)

    Posted by Ted at 08:23 AM | Comments (0)

    May 17, 2004

    Virtual target practice

    Thanks to Wince and Nod for the pointer to this online shooting range. Learn how to line up various kinds of sights on pistols and rifles. Lots of fun and edjumuhcationable too!

    Posted by Ted at 02:30 PM | Comments (0)

    Shoe porn

    Not quite as dirty as it sounds, but still not safe for work.

    Posted by Ted at 05:30 AM | Comments (0)

    May 16, 2004

    Nifty historical links

    Courtesty of The Massive Whinger, who's trackbacks are blocked and won't work.

    Castles of Britain.

    Churches of Britain.

    Military history.

    Prelude to D-Day, 1944.

    The Battle of Monte Cassino (WW II).

    Posted by Ted at 06:29 PM | Comments (1)

    May 13, 2004

    Operation Smile

    Another worthy cause. Read the story and if you can, please lend a hand.

    Posted by Ted at 07:31 PM | Comments (1)

    R Crumb site

    Some representative samples from the artist (not safe for work). Even if you don't recognize the name, you may know the work. He did the cover of Cheap Thrills by Janis Joplin's Big Brother & the Holding Company.

    Posted by Ted at 06:15 AM | Comments (1)

    May 10, 2004

    Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

    I've been working on this as time allowed over the last few days, so if you find some of these links are a little... old, they're not, they're nicely aged like a fine wine. Yeah, that's it.

    Fellow Munuvian Linda of Auteriffic has an interesting discussion going on about porn. If you’ve read Rocket Jones for any length of time, you know I peruse the naughty bits on occasion, and then cheerfully pass it along to you. That’s not what Linda is doing, she’s looking at it from a more intellectual standpoint, and the discussion is excellent. Go check it out.

    P.S. For anyone expecting to find my input there, it’s not. I’ve got some things to say, but haven’t really had a chance to sit back and sort it out in my mind. This is a subject where it’s all too easy to lose sight of your original point, and I don’t want to do that. Maybe this week, if not then I’m afraid it’ll be too late to toss my two cents in.

    Over at Say Uncle, Thibodeaux passes on a link and a joke. The excerpt from the linked story is priceless!

    I’ve heard of LittleTinyLies before, but there are only so many hours I can waste at work spend surfing the ‘net, so I’d never visited.

    Big mistake on my part. This guy is on a BBQ binge lately, and some of his posts are so mouth-wateringly wonderful it’s damn near pornographic [another porn reference - what gives?]. Ignore some of the unholy abominations he experiments with (donut lasagne?) and stick with the 'dead beasts on fire' recipes. Yum!!!

    Annika has probably already seen this (and frightened co-workers as she suddenly burst into laughter throughout the day at the mere thought of), but she seldom misses an opportunity to slam the American Skankwoman. So just in case she missed it, here's Britney Spears in her natural state, courtesy of Wizbang!

    Do you love Scrappleface? Are you a regular Onion reader? Have you tried Broken Newz yet?

    Thank J-Walk Blog for this link to 40 years of Astounding/Analog covers. I read Analog faithfully for years from the early 70’s, and was introduced to war gaming thanks to a little ad inside one of their issues. What was that company again... SSI - Strategic Simulations, Inc? I need to google that up.

    He also linked to the Read Print library, with thousands of online books. This is going to be fun to go through.

    Loren at Civilization Calls links to this interesting phenomena in Africa - fairy circles - that as far as anyone can tell, may actually be created by fairies.

    Yet another Munuvian, Rae, talks about her Mother's Day weekend and teaching her kids life lessons about work and money. We've tried to do the same with our kids, and I think we've been successful. Mookie bought her own PC with babysitting money (she was tired of having the old hand-me-down machine), and oldest daughter Robyn bought her own first car. They've learned that saving money and working towards your goals is worthwhile, because you tend to appreciate what you have more when you earn it.

    Speaking of Mookie (aka Rachael), her internet connection has been shut down for a couple of weeks. When we had new windows installed in the house, the old cable was removed and we've run two new lines into the upstairs. Unfortunately, the new cable we dropped into her bedroom isn't working, so one evening this week I've got to head back up into the attic and we'll try the second cable run and hope that one works. She's been making do with scrounging time on Mom's PC.

    Short. Sweet. Absolutely true. Thanks for the laugh, John.

    Bigwig at Silflay Hraka posts the latest "Not the Prudie" advice column link, and it's a keeper. My favorite bit:

    A ballroom dancer who's a great listener, puts other people first, and seeks advice from his women friends. I'm not saying you're gay, but everyone else is.

    I miss Dear Dottie. Is she still writing for the Weekly World News?

    Dustbury remains one of my favorite daily stops. Here he opens a discussion about President Bush's policies. I get involved. Head on over and point and laugh at your host (that would be me) being shredded intellectually (I anticipate this last bit).

    Update: Maybe I'm not an idiot. People seem to be agreeing with me, which probably means they're talking about me behind my back. That's ok too, it's better for my self-esteem. :)

    All right, if I wait much longer to post this links might start expiring. Enjoy.

    Posted by Ted at 08:14 PM | Comments (5)

    May 08, 2004

    Thanks Euth!

    I talked about Dairy Queen's new Flamethrower Burger commercial here. Have you seen it yet? Well, thanks to Euth, here's the link to see it online. He didn't leave contact info, so the good deed counts double.

    Posted by Ted at 05:52 PM | Comments (1)

    HOA's, and how meteors don't smash into them nearly often enough

    Paul had a little run-in with his HOA. I commiserated in his comments and asked if I'd ever told him the story of the meteor that almost crashed through my roof.

    Turns out I had told that story here. Damn, I can't be running out of material already.

    Posted by Ted at 09:32 AM | Comments (1)

    May 07, 2004

    I'm politically incorrect enough to laugh at this

    Seen in a bathroom stall:

    You can't beat good pussy.

    Underneath, in different handwriting:

    Sure you can, just ask Ike Turner.

    For more assorted scribbles and scrawls on the restroom walls, go check out The Writing on the Stall.

    Posted by Ted at 05:37 AM | Comments (3)

    May 06, 2004

    And the peasants rejoiced...

    Rachel Lucas is making noises about coming back.

    Spork, I'm speechless.

    Posted by Ted at 05:36 PM | Comments (1)

    I had no idea Dawn worked where I do

    ROFLMAO

    Posted by Ted at 05:41 AM | Comments (0)

    May 05, 2004

    Another new blogroll member (updated)

    Patton has been a regular in the comments over at the Ministry of Minor Perfidy for quite some time, and he seems like a reasonable sort, so it's nice to find that he now has his own blog.

    Welcome.

    Update: While looking at the ecosystem (for the first time in a long time) I found a couple of other 'rocket' blogs, so here ya go.

    Republican Atheist Rocket Scientist Man - sounds like a bio.

    Ok, so this guy has been on the 'roll for a while now. Give a visit, because we all enjoy a few extra site hits: Rocketsled to Hell.

    Posted by Ted at 09:57 AM | Comments (2)

    May 04, 2004

    Another great laugh...

    ... and this time, non-hockey fans will get it.

    Thanks to Rodger, of Curmudgeonly & Skeptical fame, for this one.

    Posted by Ted at 12:04 PM | Comments (1)

    There's something disturbing about people like this

    Not only do they concoct the most gruesome confections like the anatomically correct thorax cake, but they review my kind of movies, and give ratings from one to five severed thumbs.

    Welcome to my blogroll.

    Thanks to Matt for the pointer, and also for one of the funniest posts I've read in a long time.

    Posted by Ted at 06:26 AM | Comments (1)

    April 29, 2004

    Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

    Lots of life happening right now, details coming when I know more myself. In the meantime, here's a quick tour of some of the interesting (to me) things I've seen lately in the neighborhood.

    USS Clueless did a typically thorough analysis of the future of war in space. Taking the idea and running with it, Buckethead of The Ministry of Minor Perfidy posted a fascinating multi-part series on the concept as well (this link is for part three, which has links to the rest, including the Clueless posts - they're all worth reading). The comments are good reading too.

    And if you don't read the original Clueless post mentioned above, then you won't understand why this from Ghost of a Flea about ancient Trireme warships ties in either.

    Just because it's bloodthirsty warmongering stuff doesn't mean it can't be neato-keen. De Doc has a great post about UAV's equipped with precision-guided weapons and pattern recognition systems.

    Got Wawa? They're just becoming common in our area, and they're pretty good. If you aren't familiar with them, they're a variation on the 7-11 convenience store model, and they're making a dent in 7-11's business. Kinda like WalMart whupping on KMart, who whupped on Sears, who whupped on Woolworths, and so on and so on. Anyways, Roberto of DynamoBuzz talks about Wawa and shares some interesting tidbits.

    Shaggy and Scoobie Doo were stoners. Fred and Daphne were getting it on. Big surprises, eh? Although I have to admit I like the idea that Velma was a lesbian, and she wears glasses too. All that, plus more in-the-closet cartoon characters, courtesy of Dustbury.

    While you're over there, check out Dustbury's thoughts on the demise of Oldsmobile. Growing up, the best family car we ever had was a '72 Olds Cutlass that would blow the doors off most 'hot rods' the teens of the day were driving. I for one am going to miss Oldsmobile.

    Over at BlackFive there is an article posted called Taking Chance Home.

    The following is Marine Lieutenant Colonel Strobl's account of escorting the remains of Lance Corporal Chance Phelps. It's a long and beautifully written and it deserves to be read in it's entirety. It's about Valor, Honor and Respect.

    I read this and had tears running down my cheeks. Words fail.

    Lightening up a bit. SilverBlue invites your questions. Ask away, because he says "bring it on!" and he ain't waffling about answering either.

    Paul looks back at simpler times. Laugh-out-loud funny.

    Another wonderfully funny post: how Moxie spent Earth Day. I especially loved the comments:

    sample: You have made my day. I think I'll start up the Hummer and let it idle for earth day.

    Thanks to Professor Hall over at Spacecraft for the pointer.

    Rob of Left & Right shows off his ribbons and medals, and explains what each one means. I'll have to see about digging mine out, although I don't have the impressive combat ribbons he has.

    You do read QandO, right? Jon and McQ are partisan as hell - against stupidity and dishonesty. Dems and Repubs alike get fact-checked and called out when needed.

    Over at Travelling Shoes, we hear about something that makes me lower my voice to impersonate Boris Karloff doing the narrative of The Grinch Who Stole Christmas (paraphrased: and he had an idea, a terrible wonderful awful idea). He's still blogspotted, so if the link doesn't work, scroll down to "Oily George". Classic.

    And here's a random link I found while looking for Grinch references. Besides that, I also discovered that the singing (You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch) in the animated version was performed by Thurl Ravenscroft, who received no on-screen credit for it. You might know Mr. Ravenscroft better for his other work, as the voice of Tony the Tiger.

    Nic writes one of the scariest pieces I've read in a long time. Snakeheads and Bruce Boxleitner. *shudder*

    And finally, to distract you from that nightmare, Victor links to this ebay auction. Thanks guy, I needed that laugh!

    Go Sharks!

    Posted by Ted at 06:57 AM | Comments (0)

    April 26, 2004

    This just creeps me out

    But I'm still going to go back this evening and check out the archives.

    Human Descent, a photoshop gallery.

    Thanks to Lynn for the pointer.

    Posted by Ted at 12:45 PM | Comments (3)

    April 22, 2004

    Presented without comment

    "Protect your banana!" (work-safe)

    Thanks to J-Walk Blog for the - ahem - pointer.

    Posted by Ted at 11:49 AM | Comments (1)

    April 21, 2004

    Go three blocks and hang a right

    It's located down by Rue de Dey.

    Posted by Ted at 10:51 AM | Comments (0)

    April 19, 2004

    ROFLMAO

    Yeah, I'm easily amused, but still, this is funny!

    (the picture is work safe, the C&S comments banner isn't)

    Posted by Ted at 12:18 PM | Comments (0)

    April 18, 2004

    Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

    I was up late last night (this morning) watching hockey. The Canucks/Flames went into triple overtime before the Canucks scored to force the series into a deciding seventh game. Three AM before I crawled into bed. What? Don't you realize it's the first round of the NHL playoffs? C'mon, get some perspective. Sheesh.

    My dogs aren't hockey fans, although they do lay on the floor near the TV. I think they have trouble following the puck, so they close their eyes and just listen to the game. That's what I choose to believe anyways.

    They also wanted to go outside way too early this morning. *yawn*

    Speaking of dogs, do you read Two Nervous Dogs? You should be, because of stuff like this:

    In other doggie developments, the ear infection is pretty much gone (again), but then a sty appeared on the eyelid. The vet punctured it, which was disgusting. The puncturing of the sty didn't seem to bother the dog at all. Yep, no problem at all with a guy jabbing a needle right into the eyelid "while you wait," but you just try clipping those toenails, mister.

    Truer words were never spoken.

    Meanwhile, Denita continues to provide monster artwork for their new game. You've got to check out the latest over at Who Tends the Fires. Make sure you click on it and see the bigger version too. Between cooking and movie reviews and kid-blogging and intelligent commentary, there's a whole lot of good stuff to go through.

    Lynn posts beautiful pictures, talks about classical music, and makes me smile with her wit and insight. She's got a post up about Vegetarians, and this line of hers made me laugh out loud:

    I sort of lean toward the "The body is a temple" side myself but, as everyone knows, temple gods demand regular sacrifices of animal flesh.

    Exactly! Just a warning though, the comments for that post are civil but not for the weak. They talk about liver.

    And for the record, I like liver.

    Spoons recently got married (congrats!). He also wrote one of the funniest posts I've seen in a long while. It's short, you should go read it.

    And speaking of congrats being in order, SilverBlue and his partner have decided to make it official. Best wishes for you both, and I hope you find happiness, contentment and prosperity together.

    And lastly but not leastly, a couple of pointers to some other bloggers that review movies on a somewhat regular basis. Besides Ironbear at the aforementioned Who Tends the Fires, you could also visit Truly Bad Films for some great fun, as well as one brand new to me called A Perfectly Cromulent Blog (and thanks to Norbizness for that pointer).

    My dogs are laying here snoring, yet I'm now wide awake. I think I'll go cook some bacon and not give them any.

    Posted by Ted at 08:46 AM | Comments (6)

    April 16, 2004

    Nifty

    The guys at Anticipatory Retaliation point out this unique way of looking at space exploration: Expensive Hardware Lobbing. Funny commentary to go along with your history.

    Also, John links a wonderful collection of space and science themed e-cards. Very nice.

    Posted by Ted at 11:54 AM | Comments (0)

    April 13, 2004

    Could it be?

    Has Bill Watterson (of Calvin & Hobbes fame) resurfaced under a psuedonym? Check out the conspiracy theories laid out and linked by The Llama Butchers.

    Posted by Ted at 10:06 PM | Comments (0)

    April 09, 2004

    Eastery Greetings

    Rabbits invented hip-hop.

    Posted by Ted at 05:42 AM | Comments (0)

    April 07, 2004

    It's a gift

    First, I won the caption contest at Wizbang! And although it was a while ago it's not like I enter these all the time. Besides, Susie said some of my other entries should've won too, which proves that she has exceptional taste.

    Now, over at Captain's Quarters, I've taken top honors once again. Thanks to Stephen for suggesting people go over to whup him like a red-headed step-child enjoy his fine entries and possibly play as well.

    We now return to our modest and self-depreciating self.

    Posted by Ted at 01:46 PM | Comments (4)

    Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

    Last night I had on my first baseball game of the year - Giants vs Astros - and they had an interesting factoid. Tonight will be the first time in baseball history that a 300 game winner (Clemens) pitches to a 600 home run hitter (Bonds).

    The reason the game was on was because I couldn't stand another minute of Mars Needs Women. Lord knows I tried, but even I have limits.

    So while the game was on, I did a quick check of all those little sticky notes on my desk...

    Terra Taco is back! Yay!

    Denita of Who Tends the Fires showcases her artistic talent by presenting not one, but two internet creatures: The DU Spawn and the Spam Golem. Mmmm, spam. Gimme an onion and a skillet and I'll whip up some good eats!

    Rob at Left & Right tells a hilarious story that falls under the category of Stupid User Tricks. Years ago I saw a 'computer alphabet' and the letter 'V' stuck with me:

    V is for Void
    A vast empty null
    A lot like the inside
    Of a user's skull.

    I had to wave my wife over to the PC to read this classic from Kelley because I was laughing too hard to read it to her.

    Now here's a twist to the old Nigerian scam that I might fall for: Save the Nigerian Astronaut! Thanks to Transterrestrial Musings for the timely intervention.

    Bunsen. Red Sox. No surprise there, it's funny.

    And just so this doesn't turn into a one-note chucklepalooza, take a look at Travelling Shoes and his link about fruit fly fights.

    Wizbang guest blogger Rodney links to the story that the Mars rover Spirit has officially completed all tasks on its original mission. NASA has plenty more lined up, but from here on out it's all icing on the cake.

    Short list this time, life has been hectic. If I post less often, does that mean the quality on Rocket Jones improves because the frequency of suck goes down? Any statitstics wizards out there?

    Posted by Ted at 06:13 AM | Comments (0)

    April 05, 2004

    Holy Fellow Munuvian Bloggers Batman!

    Who else but the flea would point out this gem of a site, a list of "Holy (blank), Batman!" phrases used by the sidekick of the Caped Crusader?

    For some reason my inner-synergist is inspired by this.

    Munuviana - Holy Multitudes
    Ambient Irony - Holy Alter-ego
    Practical Penumbra - Holy Perfect pitch
    Blather Review - Holy Blackout (I'm guessing this applies to his keyboards)
    Stranger in a Strange Land - Holy Missing relatives
    Publius & Co. - Holy Purple cannibals
    Jennifer's History and Stuff - Holy Jelly molds
    MookieRiffic - Holy Molehill
    The Cheese Stands Alone - Holy Chutzpah
    Hoppings of Roxette Bunny - Holy Rainbow
    D.F.Moore - Your Daily Dose of Pizzazz - Holy D'artagnan
    Caught in the XFire - Holy Crack-up
    Angelweave - Holy Armadillos
    Anger Management - Holy Astringent pomite fruit
    Snooze Button Dreams - Holy Split seconds
    Everyday Stranger - Holy Escape hatch
    Simon World - Holy Squirrel cage
    Tom's Nap Room - Holy Trolls and goblins
    Semi-Intelligent Thoughts - Holy Skull tamper
    Civilization Calls - Holy Crucial moment
    Hold the Mayo - Holy Hot foot
    Minx Development Blog - Holy Mechanical army
    annika's poetry and journal - Holy armour plate
    Trying to Grok - Holy Travel agent
    Ilyka Damen - Holy impregnability
    Being American in T.O. - Holy bat-logic
    Read My Lips - Holy Red herring
    G'Day Mate! - Holy Geography
    Miss Apropos - Holy Masquerade
    Little Miss Attila - Holy Levitation
    Triticale - Holy Terminology
    Backstage - Holy Bijou
    Um's Musings - Holy Unrefillable prescriptions
    Rambling Rhodes - Holy Reverse polarity
    XSet - Holy Uncanny photographic mental processes
    Lemur Girl - Holy Looking glass
    Educated Beyond Her Intelligence - Holy Einstein
    Primal Purge - Holy Priceless collection of Etruscan snoods
    Flying Space Monkey Chronicles - Holy flight plan
    A Likely Story - Holy Las Vegas
    There's One, Only! - Holy One-track Bat-computer mind
    Mamamontezz's Mental Rumpus Room - Holy mesmerism
    Light & Dark - Holy Magic Lantern
    It's All About De - Holy Diversionary tactic
    TexasBestGrok - Holy Toreador
    Fear Your Future - Holy Fugitives
    2Flower To You - Holy Fishbowl
    Anticipatory Retaliation - Holy alphabet
    The Meatriarchy - Holy Mashed Potatoes
    Ellis Island - Holy Fourth of July

    Holy uneven effort, Batman!

    Posted by Ted at 08:20 PM | Comments (4)

    April 04, 2004

    Beats a lawn jockey

    You're in your yard, admiring all the hard work. You've spent hours fertilizing and mowing, trimming and edging, not to mention the back-breaking landscaping projects you've done over time. But there's something missing, you need a focal point. Something that will make the whole neighborhood stop and say 'wow'.

    Nothing says wow like real military hardware.

    Picture the impact your tulip bed would have as it frames a 155mm howitzer. That mixed bed of hostas perfectly sets off your new M-5 Stuart light tank (as an added bonus, it'll keep those pesky kids out of your yard too!).

    The Kenosha Military Museum not only has lots of real vintage hardware on display, but they also buy and sell equipment. Spring is in the air, why not spruce up in a big way?

    Posted by Ted at 10:20 AM | Comments (3)

    April 02, 2004

    The longest journey starts with but a single step

    I honestly don't know if anyone who stops by Rocket Jones practices Islam. But it can't hurt anyone to read this, and if so inclined to go here.

    Posted by Ted at 05:10 PM | Comments (1)

    April 01, 2004

    The simplest game in the world

    Perfect for those days you just don't want to work that hard.

    Posted by Ted at 06:14 AM | Comments (2)

    March 31, 2004

    Angels and Demons

    Interesting style. Many broken links, you'll have to explore a little. Not safe for work.

    Posted by Ted at 05:29 AM | Comments (0)

    March 30, 2004

    More than one way to skin Shroedinger's cat

    To become a scientist just like Daniel, you can either spend thousands of dollars in a structured and professional setting, or you can let your natural curiosity take over with loving, helpful guidance.

    (Mookie, I would kill you!)

    (in the most loving and kindest way possible, of course)

    Posted by Ted at 02:26 PM | Comments (2)

    Just thought I'd mention...

    The San Jose Sharks have achieved their first-ever 100 point season, and have all but clinched the Pacific Division title for the second time in three years.

    Since the playoffs are a whole new season, I'd just like to take a moment at this time to gloat over my fellow Munuvians as the clear winner of the First Annual Inter-Munuvian Hockey WhoopAss Jamboree*.

    San Jose Sharks
    Go Sharks!

    I'm also pleased to note that Helen's Dallas Stars and Heather's St. Louis Blues will also both make the playoffs, while Victor's Washington Capitals burnt to the ground (I feel your pain, really!) and Daniel never officially entered his Atlanta Thrashers.

    Dallas Stars St Louis Blues Washington Capitals Atlanta Thrashers
    I do believe next year's go-round might prove interesting, eh?

    *Anyone interested in getting in on next year's edition, the rules are simple:
    1. Declare your favorite hockey team.
    2. During the season, when your team plays another in the Jamboree, the loser must display the logo of the winner for 24 hours.
    3. Trash talking and good-natured making fun-of is encouraged.

    Posted by Ted at 04:32 AM | Comments (4)

    March 29, 2004

    BestOfMe Symphony

    I had a theme picked out for this Symphony, but I’m still in the midst of a flu-administered ass-kickin', so I just don’t have the energy to go through with it. You get the plain jane versions, which is fine, because these links are the highlights anyway.

    Not that I won't run my mouth. Just pretend it's part of my folksy charm.

    In no particular order...

    Simon provides an essential guide to Hong Kong taxi's. There are even more helpful tips in the comments. Note to the tourism board: Louis Armstrong-impersonating taxi-drivers should be talked up more.

    Pixy Misa wades into the philosophical debate with Idealism, Struggle, Despair, Passion, Success, Failure, and Enormously Long Lunch Breaks.

    Meanwhile, Pixy's granddaughter writes from the future, but it was over two months ago that we first were able to receive Trixie's writing that she'll do later... I think the Nyquil just kicked in.

    Ironbear of Who Tends the Fires offers up "Wax cannons and management training". A great story I enjoyed when it first appeared, and I'm happy to point it out for your enjoyment now.

    Susie talks about the reasons for panic attacks.

    Pierre of the Pink Flamingo Bar & Grill lays a righteous fisking on the Seattle Post Intelligencer when they explain that President Bush’s popularity is almost solely due to the fact that Americans are stupid. That’s pretty much a direct quote by the way.

    Jeff Doolittle offers up The Death of Hit Counting, with the following statement: "Considering the weight that is placed on things like 'sitemeter' this post is extremely relevant to blogdom." Here's an exerpt:

    Counting the number of visitors to your site has become a lesson in futility. It is no longer possible (if it ever was) to accurately track the number of anonymous users to your website. While cookies and/or user authentication can still help you track visits by known users, assessing the number of casual visitors is not possible.

    I'll say this on the subject, that if you use Sitemeter as a measurement instead of a counter, then it works well enough. I once worked a project to reengineer a software system, and discovered that a particular value had been calculated incorrectly for a long long time. The clients were horrified, but I convinced them that since the values were consistently calculated that even though they were wrong they had value as comparison and evaluation numbers. We fixed it and told the users that we were using a new method to calculate that number, and everyone was happy. Now, sitemeter doesn't offer that absolute consistency (as far as I can tell), but it's good enough to give me an idea of ebb and flow in visitors. I'm not going to obsess over numbers, especially since it's free.

    From The Owner's Manual, Gary submits his Fair Warning to Round-Eyed Weirdos. Exerpt:

    We may be experiencing fallout from the supremacy of American culture as exemplified by the global popularity of Western movies.

    I won't even tell you what it's about, but it's not what you think it might be. Good read though.

    Now this one is fun. Dave at Blogo Slovo sends in some thoughts on the television series "The West Wing". I'm a fan of the series, and he's spot on with his observations.

    Andrew Ian Dodge of Dodgeblogium fame gets my pick for best title this week: Consensual Cannibalism. I'll forego the obvious jokes, because they've probably already been (over)done.

    From Interested Participant, we have HUMAN TRAFFICKING LINKED TO BACHELOR PARTIES. Here's an excerpt:

    In several previous posts, I've discussed at some length the occurrence of human trafficking and sex slavery in Europe and Asia (see SEX SLAVES IN CZECH REPUBLIC, BALKAN CHILDREN SMUGGLING, SEX TOURISM LAW, and BALKAN SEX TRADE). Logically, it would be of interest to me when a United Nations expert in the field of human trafficking appeared recently as the guest speaker at a City Club of Cleveland luncheon.

    Short version: Males are evil. Go read. Good stuff.

    I mentioned I was sick. Actually, I mention it often around the house, because I'm genetically predisposed to whine when unwell. My wife is a gem, promising that when she finally decides to collect my life insurance, it'll be when I'm mercifully asleep.

    So you can imagine my reaction to this email greeting:

    Hi! here's my entry!

    Oh please, don't wait, just do it now.

    And then I read the submission, and it's a very cool bit of writing. The Cycling Dude presents My CRITICAL MASS Experience, and here's the Dude's description:

    In this time of Liberal Protesting of President Bush & The War Against Terror, I thought I'd share my own experience, in a Bicycle Ride, at the 2000 Democratic National Convention in Los Angeles.

    An excellent post, and I take great comfort in being on the opposite coast from Kiril, because if he doesn't have a sense of humor he might want to assist my wife as payback for teasing him above.

    I've been a big fan of Hold the Mayo from his earliest days. Read Pick a Theory and you'll see why. In his words:

    This was my analysis of the reasons for the Howard Dean melt down at the Iowa caucus, so it's kind of old news but it was good when it was written.

    It's still good, my friend.

    Watcher of Weasels offers up the Myth of the Jobless Recovery. I can't agree with his conclusion though:

    The Democratic nominee (whoever it may be) will look like an abject idiot if, come this November, he is still using last August's numbers to argue for the repeal of Bush's tax cuts and the resurrection of Hillarycare.

    After all, aren't we supposed to be too stupid to realize this? C'mon, get with the program.

    If All You Have Is Lemons, by Graham Lester of uncategorical (no caps in the name), makes some telling observations that are sometimes overlooked for the 'greater good'.

    The Cheese takes her stand on activism, protestism, and any other ism you've got: Don't Assume I'm Comfy Just Because I Don't Squirm.

    Next up is Going From Bad to Worse, from Zero Intelligence. Provided synopsis:

    A student is punished for using the word 'gay' correctly and in context while speaking about his gay mother. The school board refuses to define what is and what is not appropriate speech.

    200 Words or Less: Celebrating Diversity. Harvey from Bad Money calls it "a silly answer to a stupid question found on a University of Virginia admissions application". I call it Harvey at his best.

    And then there's Am I the widower of a woman or the husband of a fish?, courtesy of Jim at Snooze Button Dreams. His description is accurate - "I react when contraband items are brought into my house" - as is the title, go see how.

    Feste of Foolsblog submits Damn Straight, with the following comment:

    A recent announcement of detente between Bush and Chirac reminded me of this post. It's true, we will not entirely forget this betrayal, nor will we eat French cheese or sup French wine with quite same enthusiasm. Now we know each bite or sip puts money into the pockets of anti-Semites and America haters who rejoiced when 3000 Americans died at the hands of terrorists.

    Damn straight.

    Enough of my moping and griping, eh? Let's end this with a chuckle from the ever-[look up word before posting] Bunsen, who gave us the memorable Opening Attachments From People You Don't Know is the New "Goddamn, I'm Stupid". Bunsen comments hillariously on the morons who make virus propagation possible.

    [I know, I missed it and don't feel like dealing with it. -- Ed.]

    So that's it for this BestOfMe Symphony. Thanks to everyone who sent in submissions. I've enjoyed meeting the new-to-me bloggers, and have lots of new and interesting places to visit.

    As an added bonus, I've included my choice for greatest album cover of all time (in the extended entry). Just because I can.

    blues for allah.jpg
    Grateful Dead - Blues for Allah

    Posted by Ted at 04:44 AM | Comments (12)

    March 28, 2004

    The Trunk Monkey

    After the weekend I've had, I needed a good laugh. Major thanks to Off Wing Opinion for the pointer.

    Posted by Ted at 07:32 PM | Comments (1)

    March 27, 2004

    Exactly

    Eleven lines. Sixty-one words. Essence.

    Update: Taco has apparently set up a rotating quote on the page while he revamps his site. Still worth a look.

    Posted by Ted at 06:22 AM | Comments (0)

    March 26, 2004

    But we already knew that

    munurules.jpg

    Make your own at LetterJames, found courtesy of J-Walk.

    Posted by Ted at 08:33 PM | Comments (0)

    The Greatest Album Covers That Never Were

    This is so cool. Round up 100 art designers and ask them to come up with an album cover for the artist of their choice.

    Imagine Ralph Steadman doing a Rolling Stones cover. Or Vonnegut doing Phish. The concept is pure genius.

    Posted by Ted at 06:51 AM | Comments (1)

    March 24, 2004

    Mathimagicians

    Lots of beautiful fractal art.

    Posted by Ted at 10:10 AM | Comments (0)

    BestofMe Symphony

    Will be coming to Rocket Jones this monday, so dig deep into your archives and send an oldie but goodie. It's easy to do, and all the cool kids are doing it. Plus, if you'd rather nominate someone else, go for it! Or multiple posts, that's ok too. Anarchy rules.

    That's like 'jumbo shrimp' or 'MicroSoft Works' isn't it?

    Anyways, please please please make sure you put "BestofMe" or "Symphony" in the header of your email, because I've got a super-agressive spam filter and I don't want to miss anyone.

    Posted by Ted at 06:07 AM | Comments (0)

    March 23, 2004

    Other side of the coin

    I've had a few naughty links lately (and more to come, I'm sure), so to even things out a little bit, I present an extensive gallery of links to Religious Art.

    Posted by Ted at 05:00 AM | Comments (0)

    March 21, 2004

    Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

    Some you may know, some may be new to you. Enjoy.

    Remember a few weeks ago when Tuning Spork and StMack held their First Annual InterMunuvian Trivia Death Match and Pizza Demolition (or some such title), I asked a question of StMack, two questions actually, about the most expensive spice in the world (saffron, which he got right), and the second most expensive (vanilla, which he didn't know - go me). The point? I forget...

    Some silly billies in Tennessee want to pass a law making it illegal for homosexuals to live in their county. Which county? Why, the same one that wanted to outlaw the teaching of evolution. Makes perfect sense to me, since evolution obviously doesn't apply there. Ably covered over at Classical Values, Norbizness, SilverBlue and Alphecca. Y'all go'way now, y'heer?

    DUSTBURY! That's what I meant to say earlier about the saffron and... He gives the reason for the rising costs of vanilla and background and analysis and, and-

    Ever get into something that you couldn't get out of? Yeah, like the paragraph above. Move along, nothing to see here...

    I shall distract you with Babes with Guns. Courtesy of the Flea.

    Mother Earth almost caught a rock. Read the details over at the Ministry of Minor Perfidy.

    And if that wasn't serious enough for you, check out this bit about voting over at Anticipatory Retaliation.

    When I take pictures of my dogs, their eyes get that weird demon-possessed glow. Someone once told me it's because of the way a dog eye is constructed. So if humans had that same thing happen, how would camera's be different?

    Once again, I digress, but this time I remember my point, which has to do with dogs, dogs in pictures, and cameras! Go visit Two Nervous Dogs, firstly because she has a sweet demon-possessed doggie on her banner, and secondly because she stalks the neighborhood at night to document her neighbors Christmas decorations. Which are still up and running.

    Random Nuclear Strikes celebrate St. Patrick's Day as only the nuclear-armed can.

    Staying militaristic - sorta - over at Texas Best Grok we get a rundown on his extended visit aboard the USS Lexington aircraft carrier, now open as a floating naval museum. Three parts, too cool.

    The synergist in Michele emerged with this brilliant fusion of two blockbuster movies of the year.

    I shall mention here that I've been watching a live taped performance of Jezebel Diary, courtesy of Mr. Helpful. Now I can say I knew them before they were huge. Rock on!

    Starhawk (who annoys me by living in Houston where they're having beautiful weather at the moment) posts about a new VIP member of the Dead Poet's Society.

    Say Uncle is pondering blog slogans, and he's got some good ones there. He also has an interesting link about computer security and how to Google up passwords.

    Wanna know why the US military kicks butt? Because of ideas like this. A mortar shell that you fire high over the battlefield, where it deploys a parachute and hangs there, transmitting a battlefield picture from the camera in it's nose.

    Nic posted a very good piece about misfits in the workplace. We have a couple in our company, probably everyone does. I once had one as my contract supervisor, and though I only saw him once a month, my client hated him. He had zero people skills. One day our Vice President said to me "He's the type of guy you lock in a room and let him do great things." But for heaven's sake don't let him interact with the paying customers.

    Thanks to H.D. Miller of Travelling Shoes for pointing up this little bit of scholarly research. An Iraqi professor collected data about graffitti on the streets of post-Saddam Bagdhad. Interesting and enlightening.

    All right, that's where my notes run out.

    Posted by Ted at 12:29 PM | Comments (2)

    March 20, 2004

    Why I Love the Internet - Reason # 8,923

    Topher's Breakfast Cereal Character Guide.

    Posted by Ted at 07:08 AM | Comments (0)

    March 18, 2004

    We now return you to the regularly scheduled crap

    The intervention over at Bloviating Inanities is over. For a brief time yesterday afternoon, BI sucked a little less than usual. You can tell things are back to normal, because Bill is back to being a whiny little bitch.

    I'd like to thank the rest of the swarm:

    Jennifer
    Susie
    Michele (my apologies for misspelling your name before)
    Ron, the blogless
    Paul
    Wind Rider
    SilverBlue
    Keith, the photoshop wizard

    Special thanks to the organizer of the event.

    Nothing says "Love" like being TP'd, even online.

    Posted by Ted at 07:15 AM | Comments (1)

    More teacher heroes and students learning

    From Sophont (who points out some of the coolest stuff):

    "Think of a diamond in the sky," says Robert Rochte.

    Rochte, director of technology at the Grosse Pointe Academy, and his eager third-grade students hope to see a tetroon within the next month, depending on the sun and wind conditions, when they launch the fifth in a series of experimental balloons from Grosse Pointe Farms in an effort to learn about weather, navigation and electronics.

    They're also having fun.

    Go read the whole thing, it's really impressive.

    Posted by Ted at 05:10 AM | Comments (0)

    March 17, 2004

    How thoughtful

    Bill sent me this thank you e-card, which just goes to prove that he's more than a little creepy a considerate guy.

    cookie_friends.jpg

    His attached message was “Oho!"

    No Bill, thank you!

    Posted by Ted at 05:00 PM | Comments (2)

    It’s Goofy Game Time!

    Everyone knows about Where’s Waldo, those busy little cartoons where you’re supposed to find that red & white striped twerp in a crowd of people. Oho, what fun!

    Let’s play the Bloviating Inanities special edition version: Where’s Bill? (in the extended entry – nsfw)

    Hint: he’s not staff.

    cj_419.jpg

    Posted by Ted at 03:30 PM | Comments (0)

    Goofy Game Time again!

    Oho, it’s another classic, a word search! Full of fun nicknames and pet names people have had for Bill over the years. In case you don’t know the game, look forwards, backwards, up and down and diagonally for the words hidden in the grid below.

    000stupid.gif

    Posted by Ted at 03:22 PM | Comments (0)

    Paper Models

    Here are a whole heap o' places where you can find detailed plans for models constructed of paper. Historical spacecraft and satellites, aircraft and ships, robots and more.

    NASA's site with many plans for satellites and space exploration related equipment. Rated easy to challenging.

    NASA's Mars pages have a nifty model of the Pathfinder here, and a different set of plans for the Pathfinder here. Each focus on different educational goals.

    This incredible site has everything from precision paper airplanes to models for several versions of the Delta, communications satellites, UFO saucers and many more.

    Submarine.

    Beaucoup models here of everything under the sun. Sydney Opera House or Wrigley Field anyone?

    Robots, Japanese style.

    There were plenty of rocket models in the links above, but how about a real flyable model rocket kit made completely out of paper? FlisKits is producing some of the most innovative designs out there, and one of them is their Midnight Express. Yes, it really flies! Note that the link leads to their product page, scroll down a little bit and click where it says "Free Download".

    Texas-based Art Applewhite offers some unique saucer designs, including this page of free stuff to build and fly.

    And of course, you just knew some clever genius came up with software to turn your CAD file into a paper-model plan.

    Thanks to BoingBoing, Texas Best Grok, EGB, and the Rec.Models.Rockets newsgroup for these pointers.

    Posted by Ted at 05:48 AM | Comments (0)

    Yet Another 100 List

    The difference being that this one isn't work safe. Not even close.

    The 100 Worst Porn Movie Titles.

    Posted by Ted at 05:05 AM | Comments (0)

    March 16, 2004

    Iraq Blogger KIA

    Bob Zangas' Journey In Iraq. Bob Zangas was killed in an ambush wednesday last. He was on his second tour in Iraq, first as a Marine, then as a civilian working for the Coalition Provisional Authority. His posts provided an inside look at what some are doing as they help rebuild Iraq.

    Thanks to A.E. Brain for the pointer. His words are better than mine.

    Posted by Ted at 10:16 AM | Comments (0)

    Short and sweet

    Fifty Word Fiction.

    This is an interesting idea, and I love some of the different approaches taken. Give it a try. Either leave it there, leave one in the comments here, or put it on your site and link back to this.

    Look for mine soon. You, in the back, knock it off!

    Posted by Ted at 08:16 AM | Comments (4)

    March 15, 2004

    Huge freakin' Paooki

    (Serenity, you probably don't want to click the link below, and most certainly don't want to enlarge the picture there)

    All I can say is that I'm thankful that Australia is completely waterbound. You can keep 'em down there, mate!

    Gahhhh!!!!

    Posted by Ted at 10:39 AM | Comments (4)

    Fake Celebrity Nudes

    There are thousands of pictures on the internet that show celebrity skin, and a lot of them are fakes of varying quality. For a cool look at how some of these fakes are created, and how to tell if a pic has been 'photoshopped', take a look at the link below.

    The Fake Detective (not work safe).

    Posted by Ted at 05:05 AM | Comments (0)

    March 14, 2004

    Graffitti Artists

    As opposed to the vandals who tag indescriminately, regardless of how talented they are.

    These guys are artists, although they probably did get their start by spraypainting everything that didn't move.

    Posted by Ted at 08:14 AM | Comments (2)

    March 13, 2004

    I will not invite the homeless to spend the night in Bill's car

    You know in the beginning of The Simpsons, where Bart is writing some wicked message on the chalkboard? Ever wish you could do that?

    Now you can. (sample in the extended entry)

    bart1.jpg

    Posted by Ted at 07:37 AM | Comments (3)

    March 12, 2004

    Ghost Towns

    Some not so ghostly, but plenty of cool photos, if you dig around a little.

    And here's the home page for a whole web ring of ghost town sites. To get to the good stuff, scroll to the bottom and click "Previous / Next / Random... " I'd suggest "List Sites" so you can pick and choose what interests you.

    Posted by Ted at 11:44 AM | Comments (0)

    Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

    Peeps, I've been busy. Swamped busy. Not too busy to blog some (although my backup supply of Beal-concealment posts has been greatly diminished), and I'm managing to at least drop by your place every couple of days.

    I've also been working on a side-project that will hopefully be ready in the next few days. I've talked about it before, but it's been consuming a fair amount of time and energy and a great deal of emotional reserve. Soon.

    In the meantime, I'll pull out the forty-'leven post-it notes I have stashed on my desk, each one reminding me to take a closer look at this or that post. Throw 'em together, tack on the title suggested by Susie the Wonder Llama-tamer, and hey, it's a post!

    Red Ted Keeps A Diary, and he's starting a series about logically evaluating President George W. Bush. Here's his opening paragraph:

    One of the striking things about people is that smart folks can look at the same body of information, focus on different aspects of it, and come to radically different conclusions. This process is fun to look at from the outside, but dreadfully frustrating when otherwise smart people look at the same body of information that you are looking at, and then come out completely opposed to your views. How, one asks, can someone who is otherwise so clever, be so very wrong? And does this mean that I am wrong? I can't be wrong!

    I'm looking forward to seeing his analysis. I'm also fairly sure no llama's were harmed during the writing of that article.

    Sentinal Chimneys. Velociman. It's the part of history I love most, the "I wonder what happened here?" part.

    Jay at Sophont tells of the Pocket Vault, which is the neatest little gizmo I've seen in a long time. It wouldn't be very useful for me, because I don't carry a lot of credit cards, but for business travelers I can see it as being a very handy item. Check it out. (If it's blogspotted, scroll down to Chameleon Card Changes Stripes, and say hello to his llama).

    Zero llama count observed at SilverBlue, QandO, and The Meatriarch, though I suspect JimiLove has been kidnapped by peruvian maoist llamas. It's been a while since he posted, but he's shown up in comments here and there.

    Via Ghost of a Flea, we find The Exorcist and Apocolypse Now, starring llamas bunnies! Yay!

    Mark Oakley of Rocket Man Blog has just accepted a position as lead propulsion engineer at TGV Rockets! This is great news, and I'm thrilled for him. Go say hi and congrats, and be sure to mention me for a valuable discount on all your consumer rocketry propulsion needs.

    Over at Left & Right, Rob posted a hilarious roundup of comments regarding his Official L&R Top 100 Guitar Players list. There seems to be general consensus that his list is better than Rolling Stone's list, but still sucks big gorilla... uh... llama.

    This was bound to happen. A Swiss Army Knife with USB flash memory stick. It's probably at least as useful as the corkscrew that comes on many of their knives. And it's great for survivalists, who can now take their porn with them into the mountains. Listen carefully and you can hear llamas all over the world heave a sigh of relief. Thanks to The Ministry of Minor Perfidy for the pointer.

    Thanks for joining us for this edition of Rocketing Around the Blogosphere, and we hope you join us again soon. At this time, we ask that you please return your llamas to the upright position and welcome to the end of this post.

    Posted by Ted at 05:22 AM | Comments (2)

    March 11, 2004

    Ted Is

    Thanks to LeeAnn for pointing the way to Googlism. Here's how Google defines Ted:

    ted is now owned by the sapling foundation
    ted is chad
    ted is one hell of a role model for young kids
    ted is little ted's best friend
    ted is available in binary format
    ted is a box office hit
    ted is voodoo chili
    ted is my new favorite
    ted is not 100% human
    ted is very quiet and trapped in a box
    ted is the patron saint of shark jumping
    ted is available for download from ftp
    ted is the imaginary friend of a lonely little boy
    ted is not looking for the quick sale
    ted is not doing the show every night
    ted is not
    Posted by Ted at 10:19 AM | Comments (1)

    Extremely Naughty Bits

    Glenn of Hi, I'm Black! fame is trying to become a big-time internet smut peddler.

    So if hardcore floats your boat, visit his new site called, appropriately enough, NOT WORK SAFE (which is itself Not Work Safe). Glenn says FleshBot needs some competition.

    Posted by Ted at 05:29 AM | Comments (0)

    March 10, 2004

    Hockey Goalie Mask Slideshow

    Now this is cool. The Hockey Hall of Fame has this slideshow of various masks worn through history.

    Thanks to Eric of Off Wing Opinion for the pointer.

    Posted by Ted at 05:27 AM | Comments (0)

    March 08, 2004

    ROFLMAO

    Stolen en toto from Curmudgeonly & Skeptical:

    Rene Descartes is finishing dinner in a small cafe when the waiter asks "would you like desert?"

    He answers " I think not," and disappears.

    Posted by Ted at 08:41 AM | Comments (4)

    March 07, 2004

    Say hello to...

    Jen Speaks, who is probably already known to some of you.

    The Llama Butchers, just because of the name. I have a note here on my list of movies to see someday about "Barn of the Blood Llama". Coincidence? I dunno, but I'm not taking any chances. And it's not just because of the name.

    Blogeline is back after a long hiatus.

    Posted by Ted at 10:46 AM | Comments (2)

    March 06, 2004

    Is "Virtual Synthisizer" redundant?

    Thanks to A.E. Brain, a link to a demo online version of the famous Moog synthesizer.

    If it's Blog*spotted, scroll down to "In the Moog".

    Welcome him to the blogroll as well (down at the bottom clump with the rest I haven't gotten around to alphabetizing yet). He lists me as "Just Plain Good", and that without monetary renumeration! He kept a straight face while typing that too (I hope). Anyway, go read his blog. It's gooder than 'just plain'.

    Posted by Ted at 08:05 AM | Comments (0)

    March 03, 2004

    Fat is Dead

    Now this sounds like a diet I could get used to.

    New Nietzschean Diet Lets You Eat Whatever You Fear Most

    Oh wait, that would be spiders. Never mind.

    Courtesy of The Onion.

    Posted by Ted at 01:44 PM | Comments (0)

    Encyclopedia Astronautica

    If you've never visited the Encyclopedia Astronautica, well, be prepared to spend some time. This site is amazing.

    Posted by Ted at 06:11 AM | Comments (0)

    The synergist emerges once again

    First read Spork's tale of squirrels.

    Next, read Bigwig's thoughts on peace.

    Spork, I bet you could get Federal grant money if you have your attic designated as a foreign aid food bank.

    Posted by Ted at 05:54 AM | Comments (0)

    In the digital world his name is Quasimodem

    The Gray Monk has written a fascinating post about bell ringers and the art of bell ringing.

    For those of us who don't have access to a tower full of bells, you can get your practice in using Abel. This versitile software can also be used by folks using hand bells. All proceeds go to charity.

    Here is an impressive collection of bell-related links.

    I wonder if Eric Lindros has an honorary membership?

    Posted by Ted at 05:11 AM | Comments (3)

    March 02, 2004

    Captain's Rock, Stardate 2168 BC

    Stone Trek.

    Magpic.jpg

    Posted by Ted at 05:03 AM | Comments (0)

    March 01, 2004

    I should've mentioned this before

    Pixy is hosting this week's Bestofme Symphony. One of my old posts is in there, something ghostwritten from my thoughtful and serious side. Guaranteed to make you think of pod people.

    Posted by Ted at 05:14 PM | Comments (0)

    Investment Advice

    Thanks to Stevie over at Caught in the XFire. Follow her plan, get a better return than you would with some so-called 'blue chip' stocks, and - beauty - even if you don't, you won't care!

    Posted by Ted at 08:35 AM | Comments (0)

    Who was that band?

    Ultimate Band List is a site with tons of information and links to official band website and fansites. It includes concert information, promoter and venue links, e-zine's and much more.

    Posted by Ted at 06:01 AM | Comments (0)

    February 29, 2004

    Welcome back

    Two Nervous Dogs has returned. I tried working in some sort of crotch-sniffing joke, but it wasn't working. Go read, she's funny!

    Thanks to Tim at Backstage for the pointer.

    Posted by Ted at 08:09 AM | Comments (0)

    February 28, 2004

    A couple of Munuvian (and other) notes

    Cherry posts a friday joke each week (as does Tiger). Always good for a chuckle, but this one really had me laughing. If I ever meet these guys, I'll buy them a tank of petrol.

    Spring is in the air. Daffodils are starting to show, birds are singing, bees are buzzing, and Munuvians are meeting for beer, pizza and trivia. That's right, fellow Munuvians Tuning Spork and Stephen are taking your questions, which will be asked and answered in the First Annual Fairfield County Munuvian Blogger Trivia Invitational. A barbed-wire cage match was considered, but we're an amiable bunch in Munuviana.

    Drop in and say hello to Sarah. Her husband was just deployed overseas for a year.

    Also, brand new Munuvian Ilyka Damen hasn't quite moved in yet, but soon, very soon. I'm looking forward to it.

    Munuviana. In some obscure and lost language that had to have meant "concentrated goodness".

    Posted by Ted at 11:35 AM | Comments (1)

    February 27, 2004

    A little competition

    It's a contest called Miniature City, and the idea is to photoshop an image to show what the world would be like if you were tiny.

    Thanks to Cindy of Squipper and Al of Fulton Chain for the pointer.

    Posted by Ted at 05:25 AM | Comments (1)

    February 24, 2004

    Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

    (insert humorous introduction here)

    This is fun in a goofy sort of way (warning: bandwidth alert). Kudos to Silflay Hraka for the pointer.

    Yahoo is trying their little game again, where they change the privacy policy and everyone is automatically opted-in to allow them to track your movement throughout the internet. Thanks to the guys at Anticipatory Retaliation for the heads up on this one, including the way to opt-out.

    From The Universal Church of Cosmic Uncertainty:

    You've heard of the Enigma cipher machine, yes? The Germans used it during WW2 for encoding and decoding messages.

    If you've always wanted to play with an Enigma, the Enigma-E building kit might appeal.

    The Enigma-E is a DIY Building Kit that enables you to build your own electronic variant of the famous Enigma coding machine that was used by the German army during WWII. It works just like a real Enigma and is compatible with an M3 and M4 Enigma as well as the standard Service Machines. A message encrypted on, say, a real Enigma M4 can be read on the Enigma-E and vice versa.

    TL Hines has been posting a series he calls the "Darkhorse Dialogues", where he interviews the fringe presidential candidates. Lots of fun, and it makes you appreciate the solemn dignity of LaRouche and Nader.

    Ooooo, look Susie. Firemen's equipment.

    Over at JimiLove's place, he shares a beautiful piece titled The Tao of Two. Little Max already has wisdom beyond his years. Some samples:

    No is temporary, but yes is forever

    Caution is a byproduct of experience

    If whining never worked no one would do it

    You control your own mouth, and what goes in it

    Everyone gets a kiss goodnight before bed

    Pushing the elevator buttons does not make you a "big boy", knowing which ones to push does

    Lynn asks two intriguing questions:

    If you could have as a pet, any creature from science fiction what would you choose?

    If you could own any device from science fiction what would you choose?

    The device was easy for me, I still don't have a pet selected. How about you?

    Over at Left & Right, Rob has been compiling and revising his list of Top Guitar Players. Lots of debate on this one, you should check it out.

    Paul has been schizo ecclectic in his posting subjects lately, writing about everything from wallets and cell phones to an acoustic version of Disco Inferno. Visit Sanity's Edge, and thank him for not being Bill.

    Ever write a newspaper about a goof they made? Say Uncle did, and they asked him to write an Op Ed piece about the assault weapons ban. Read all about it here. He cuts through the fear factor and misinformation to score some telling points. Good job.

    I'll close with a blog I've just began to visit regularly. Scott talks about those scam artists at Classmates.com. I dealt with them last year, and they really are bottom-feeders.

    Update: Martin St. Louis of the Tampa Bay Lightning bears a striking resemblance to Richard Simmons. Yeah, I'm ticked off after watching the Caps lose a third period lead and get blown out.

    Posted by Ted at 04:59 AM | Comments (10)

    February 23, 2004

    Special Ops and so much more

    Random Nuclear Strikes. The link goes to a special post about the First Special Forces Group (Airborne), but everything there is a good read.

    Posted by Ted at 11:34 AM | Comments (1)

    February 20, 2004

    Field Trip?

    Eric of Off Wing Opinion is proposing a blog meet for the metro DC area, to be held, appropriately enough, at a Washington Capitals game.

    I'm making tentative plans for this one. Anyone else?

    Kevin?
    Nic?
    Victor?
    Phillip?
    Ross and/or Buckethead?
    Rob?
    Dawn?
    Scott?

    Who am I forgetting?

    Posted by Ted at 08:42 AM | Comments (8)

    February 13, 2004

    In further Valentine's Day news...

    From the inestimable Pixy:

    This one is for Susie, Cherry, Jennifer, Mookie, LeeAnn, Roxette, Stevie, Heather, Helen, Linda, Annika and Sarah:

    Throw Rocks At Boys

    I wholeheartedly agree ladies, thank you for making this a nicer and more interesting year. I'd also like to add to that list:

    Shell, Candy, Carol, Dawn, Min, Margi, Dana, Anna, Lynn, Serenity, Nic, Kelley, Tas, Tink, Dawn, and Denita.

    Happy Valentine's Day to you all.

    I considered sending individual ecards to everyone, but I'm just not that thoughtful. Ask my wife. Although this year I did get her a very nice gold bracelet. She showed it to me last night. I have impeccable taste.

    Posted by Ted at 08:00 AM | Comments (5)

    Another anti-Valentine's day site

    Black Hearts Party. Gifts for that 'special' one on your list and much much more.

    Posted by Ted at 06:14 AM | Comments (0)

    It takes a certain mad genius

    ...and Bunsen has it.

    Here he presents a 10-question quiz where each answer is either Courtney Love or Westminster Dog Show Entrant.

    This reminds me of an old David Letterman Top Ten list , something about "Favorite Body Parts or Van Pattens". The number one answer was "Dick".

    Posted by Ted at 05:49 AM | Comments (2)

    February 12, 2004

    Dog as deadly force

    US military working dogs are of two types (that I know of). There are drug-detection dogs and bomb-detection dogs. Both kinds can do duty as a guard dog, but basically it's taking advantage of their keen senses, the training for the guard role is limited since they focus on their primary function. After the Vietnam conflict, so-called 'sentry' dogs were phased out because they were ultra-agressive and somewhat unpredictable. Military dogs aren't pets, they're tools bred and trained to do a specific job, and turning one loose against someone is considered using 'deadly force'.

    I don't know much about police dog training. I suspect that police dogs are taught more in the way of apprehension techniques and keeping a perpetrator at bay and under control.

    A while back The Meatriarch did a fine two-part series (here and here) on canine breeds who fit the bill if you need serious protection and are prepared to spend the time and effort in order to be a responsible owner to one. Everyone should read these, for informational purposes if nothing else, because the average person does not equate dogs with overwhelming deadly force.

    Posted by Ted at 08:37 PM | Comments (3)

    Yeah, I own a poodle, what of it?

    Poodles were originally bred as hunting dogs, and here's the lowdown on why poodle haircuts are so weird, courtesy of Slate, via J-Walk Blog.

    An unshorn poodle's thick coat could weigh it down in the water. With the bottom half of its body shaved, the animal was more buoyant and could swim more freely. The long mane and hair around the chest were left intact to keep the poodle's vital organs warm in the cold water, and owners also kept the hair around the joints to protect them from cold and injury and to help prevent rheumatism.

    Shaving the hair around the face left the poodle's mouth and eyes free so it could fulfill its retrieving responsibilities, and tying the hair on a poodle's head into a "top knot" also kept hair out of its eyes. Owners eventually tied these knots with brightly colored ribbons to help them identify their dogs from afar.

    See? Manly reasons all.

    Posted by Ted at 11:26 AM | Comments (6)

    February 10, 2004

    Be unpredictable

    For Valentine's Day, don't give your loved one just any old plushy, give a Santa Cthulhu, because nothing says eternal love like a fictional ancient god. Cupid? What a wuss.

    Now maybe you want to keep the kids busy while you get 'thanked' for your thoughtfulness. What better way than to stick with the theme? Your little shoggoths can entertain themselves with a Cthulhu hand puppet. They'll have hours of fun reenacting The Doom That Came To Sarnath and The Dunwhich Horror. For extra fun, check eBay for out-of-print copies of Lovecraft audiobooks that they can listen to. And if they hear strange noises coming from your bedroom, it just adds to the atmosphere, eh?

    "It's ok honey, mommy's fine. She's just being eaten by an Old One."

    Posted by Ted at 05:03 AM | Comments (4)

    February 09, 2004

    These ain't Elvis plates

    Sideshow Collectibles, because everyone should have Leatherface in their living room.

    Posted by Ted at 09:41 AM | Comments (1)

    February 07, 2004

    Anti-Valentine's Day

    Ever notice that the cost of roses goes up in the week before Valentine's Day? In our years of wedded bliss, I've mostly ignored Valentine's Day (beyond a simple card), although every few years I'll get Liz candy or flowers, and a couple of times I got her a gift every day for the week leading up to it (balloons, stuffed animal, jewelry, etc). I don't want to become predictable and have her get bored with me, at least that's what I tell her. Truth is, I can't be bothered to care about a lame made-up holiday.*

    Now this site nails it: Be My Anti-Valentine. Send one of their cards any ol' time, just because.

    Thanks to Squipper for that link! Also, for those less romantically-challenged than I (or if you're in the doghouse, you unfeeling bastard), and you're looking for unique jewelry ideas, try here.

    *For those who think that statement might be useful as blackmail fodder, think again. Liz knows my feelings about it, and it frustrates the bejeebers outta her.

    Posted by Ted at 11:33 AM | Comments (5)

    February 06, 2004

    Feel free to steal this idea

    I was wondering what it would be like to have a theme party where everyone had to dress up like one of the "Real Men of Genius" in those Bud beer commercials. Imagine a room full of "Mr. Tiny Thong Bikini Wearer" and "Mr. Really Bad Toupee Wearer" guys.

    If you do this, please take plenty of pictures let me know how it turns out.

    Thanks to Victor for the inspiration (translation: blame him). Also, fellow Munuvian Tuning Spork has posted a wonderful parody here (can you parody a parody? why does the word 'parody' look funny?). Oh well, back to the Sporkster, the man is a genius, a real man of genius.

    Posted by Ted at 06:32 AM | Comments (3)

    February 05, 2004

    Hint: keep the flamey end down

    Another 'rocket' out there in the ecosystem: The Rocketsled to Hell.

    Posted by Ted at 08:02 AM | Comments (2)

    February 02, 2004

    Worth a thousand words

    The Washington Post now has photos from it's vast archives available for purchase. Very cool.

    Posted by Ted at 09:29 AM | Comments (3)

    January 29, 2004

    Go say hello

    Josh Cagan, who doesn't like you, writes stuff like this:

    It's for a jury to decide. Although, in a case where it's Solomon vs. the Hiltons, how does one assemble a jury of peers? Do you try to find 12 millionaire scumbags? Or six millionaires, and six scumbags?

    Or do you just save yourself the headache, and clone Larry Flynt 11 times? But then, would you let them retain their ability to walk, or do you shoot them in the spine as soon as they come out of the cloning chamber? Or do you let half walk, and shoot the other half in the spine, you know, for balance?

    This is why I'm not a lawyer. I'm far too thoughtful. And I'm off my point.

    Posted by Ted at 08:52 PM | Comments (0)

    If I didn't have such a dirty mind, I might've thought of this

    Carol points the way to Tom, who hilariously photoshops a spam. Bravo!

    Posted by Ted at 05:06 AM | Comments (1)

    January 28, 2004

    A little innocence can be a dangerous thing

    Absolutely work safe, I promise.

    cummingfirst.com

    Thanks to TL Hines for the pointer, his take on it is priceless.

    Posted by Ted at 09:36 PM | Comments (2)

    January 27, 2004

    Withdrawal

    Football season is almost over. It's too cold to start playing baseball. I'd feel bad if I cross-checked Mookie into the fence playing backyard hockey (I'd still do it, but I'd feel bad). Basketball? This time of year you spend an hour waiting for the next 10 minute game to start down at the Y. So what should the sports-minded among us do?

    Calvin-ball. Leagues forming now.

    Posted by Ted at 06:38 PM | Comments (2)

    MookieMeet

    Daughter Mookie is contemplating an area blogger meet. She's already gotten some interest in the event, and is soliciting ideas. If you're from the Maryland/DC/Virginia area, or might like to travel a bit to attend, visit her and leave some feedback.

    Posted by Ted at 06:54 AM | Comments (3)

    January 26, 2004

    I know just what I'd do with my refund too

    Thanks to Phillip Coons, I found this online petition in support of revoking the federal tax exemption of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA). They've collected over 10,000 signatures in the first week.

    Heather, did you know about this?

    If we get a rebate from our taxpayer subsidies to these eco-terrorists, I'm gonna buy a pair of fur earmuffs.

    Posted by Ted at 07:29 PM | Comments (1)

    January 25, 2004

    A couple of links*

    The snow is beginning to fall, accumulation tonight is expected to be 4"-8" (historically we're on the light end in my neighborhood), and they're calling for a second wave consisting mainly of freezing rain and sleet. Boy howdy.

    Wow. The weather report just said that this pattern could go right through wednesday. Alternating waves of snow and sleet.

    I spent late last night watching crappy horror movies (The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave, Blood Tide, and some Frankenstein I can't recall the exact title of), and this morning watching a couple of John Wayne movies (circa 1934 - The Lucky Texan and 'Neath Arizona Skies), wrapped around a trip to the grocery store and raking those dang monkey balls out of the backyard. I also did a little indoor gardening - nothing illegal mind you - trying to overwinter a few favorite plants from the garden. Mixed results so far, a couple are really thriving, a couple aren't doing so hot. Nothing dead yet though.

    The main reason for the grocery run was to pick up some EV Olive Oil, Balsamic Vinegar and a loaf of Italian bread. Yesterday at the mall, SilverBlue and I sampled some incredible bread dipping oil. Rather than spending $15 for a bottle, I decided to try making my own. After buying small bottles of the two main ingredients, that price doesn't seem so out of line.

    Early taste tests are promising, I'll post what I did later. When I asked Mookie to try it, she immediately gave me a detailed critique. The mall is across the street from her high school, and she and her friends often go into that particular store to sample the goodies. She's very familiar with the various bread dipping oils they offer. Who knew?

    Speaking of crappy horror movies (I know, clumsy... sue me) kinda like this story over at Travelling Shoes. Where we read:

    British use of cluster bombs in the Iraq war could count as a war crime and justifies further investigation by the International Criminal Court (ICC) prosecutor in the Hague, a group of international lawyers say.
    "The U.S. cannot be tried before the court because it refuses to sign up to it. The UK did."
    If you remember all the way back to May of 2002, the Bush administration had decided that there was a strong likelihood that any International Criminal Court would be used as a means of persuing politically-motivated war-crimes charges against American soldiers and officials. And so the president "unsigned" the Clinton-era treaty which had tentatively committed the United States to participate in the court.

    That decision now looks prescient.


    You should go read the whole thing.

    Jay at Sophont passes on the word that the Whole Earth magazine has closed it's doors. I remember their catalogs.

    Say Uncle has this post about identifying Pit Bulls. Well worth a look.

    More Mars stuff from Minor Perfidy Minister Bucket.

    Sometimes there's no good way to end one of these posts, ya know?

    *and a whole heap o' rambling on, eh?

    Posted by Ted at 08:40 PM | Comments (1)

    Now *This* is one mad cow

    Here. (warning: language alert, might wanna swallow that drink too.)

    Posted by Ted at 08:10 PM | Comments (0)

    Happy Birthday!

    Today the excellent blog by Publicola is one year old! Stop by and say hi, and if you read a bit, you might find yourself returning often. He's that good.

    Not to mention that the man downright knows his funk.

    Posted by Ted at 05:33 PM | Comments (0)

    January 24, 2004

    Rat movie sighting

    Last night / this morning on FX was a movie titled The Rats. From the movie guide:

    An exterminator and a PR executive battle a colony of vermin that infests a department store and threatens New York.

    Rocket Jones, doing my part to bring rodent-related cinema to your attention. Victor and Nic would give it two (tiny scrabbling clawed) thumbs up, I'm sure.

    Posted by Ted at 08:15 AM | Comments (1)

    January 21, 2004

    Bill, unplugged

    This is too funny!!! And it's just what you get for getting Mookie grounded.

    Thanks to Phillip Coons for the pointer.

    (warning: first link expires in 14 days)

    Posted by Ted at 11:31 AM | Comments (2)

    Rocketing Around the Blogosphrere

    This special Rocketing edition is brought to you by people on the move. Specifically:

    annika - who never capitalizes her name and has chosen to become a Munuvian. Yay!

    Sarah - who does capitalize, is Trying to Grok and is also warmly welcomed into the Munuvian fold. Yay!

    Jon of QandO, who has not only moved, but added a second blogger, one McQ. I assume that this is not a Beeblebroxian development.

    Finally (as in "this is the last one", not "it's about damn time"), the Happy Furry Puppy Story Timelessness of Norbizness now has his own domain.

    Much adjusteth of blogrolls should commence.

    All righty. Now that the general housekeeping is out of the way, let's go look around, eh? It's freakin' cold out, and that means my hibernation instinct is at war with my inner-Canadian. Conflict: sleep now vs drinking to unconsciousness.

    Roberto of DynamoBuzz fame follows the most underreported political story of the campaign (so far). That's right, the eBay auction of General Wesley Clark's sweater. I will not make fun of it, because the proceeds go to a veteran's group, which is a very good thing. Instead, I'll mention that in the comments Roberto and yours truly swap 'pocket protector' stories. I definitely come out ahead in that exchange.

    Starhawk and Serenity both link to pictures of a rock in Iowa. Not the one around Dean's neck, but this one. (Serenity, your permalink for that post wouldn't work for me)

    As usual, Ghost of a flea provides countless diversions and interesting posts. Being the shallow 'ooo-look-at-the-pretty-pictures' type, I'll mention Eyeball, which is a collection of aerial photographs (and detailed maps) of American landmarks. But there's much more to see when you visit the flea.

    And I'm a poet, and don't I know it.

    Did I mention I'm really cold?

    I've decided that the next time I want to bet on something, I'll ask JimiLove, and then bet the opposite.

    The Meatriarch always has insightful and thought-provoking things to say which is why I wait for the movie, and these days are no different. He makes valid points for why we as a community (the blogosphere) should be branching out beyond our narrow borders and making ourselves heard on the outside. He also talks about great barbeque, dog breeds (not for barbeque), and other diverse topics to entertain and inform. He's also Canadian, but probably posts before doing most of his drinking because he's usually coherent.

    I give this guy a hard time, mainly because he deserves it. To his credit, he's never threatened me. This go-round, he points the way to a nifty little site where you can have your very own crappy handwriting converted into a font. How cool is that?

    "OTA OK". Ever get one of those on your mobile phone? Petrilli did and tracked down why. Apparently it's not an uncommon thing.

    It's been awhile since I've done the synergist bit, but these two adjacent stories at Phillip Coons' place just beg for it:

    Running mate rumor
    Dick Cheney will step down as VP candidate and the likely replacement is Giuliani.
    and
    Sara Lee Drops Jimmy Dean as Sausage Spokesman

    So, Giuliani (or Condi Rice according to some) becomes VP candidate, Cheney gets his folksy on by selling us processed pork (big change there, eh?), and Jimmy Dean... Well, it takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent fritters. See how easy that is?

    There isn't one single thing worth linking to over at Sanity's Edge. Read everything, because Paul is on a roll, and it's all funny.

    Say Uncle leads the way to a report via Publicola that a pro-Kucinich Site had some... er... issues with some graphics they ripped off linked to. Actually, the pro-K folks (not to be confused with pre-K) were blissfully unaware of the link switcheroo that was (justifiably) done to their targets.

    SilverBlue, because I haven't lately. Tink for the same reason. I enjoy my daily visits to both.

    And a quick rundown on those newly added but currently unalphabetized on my blogroll. What exactly does it mean to be so mis-filed? Not a thing, except that I haven't gotten around to it yet. They may or may not consider being mentioned by me an honor, I'm afraid to ask.

    California Yankee - I grew up in the Bay Area, and this name just seems wrong, like being a New York Gia... nevermind.
    GDay Mate - from Oz. Not the halucinegenic poppy-filled Oz, the other one.
    SpankysPlace - Even the staff doesn't like being at the Emergency Room.
    J-Walk Blog - Where Glenn often gets his inspiration.
    Symphony X - Culture, classical music and art. Lynn and Daniel both linked to this site recently.
    The Eternal Golden Braid - An emphasis on space and technology.
    Dustbury - I don't have a handle on this one yet, having just started reading there. But he's nice to Mookie, and that counts for something right up front.

    I'm still cold.

    Posted by Ted at 06:13 AM | Comments (7)

    January 20, 2004

    Gotta love this guy

    Over at Backstage, Tim is under tremendous pressure with work schedules, and then he has a chance encounter with a couple of environmentalists:

    So I asked them, very politely at that, if they had ever spent much time working in a forest... The response I received apart from the icy stares was that they were serious campers... It was at this point that I laughed at them, told them they needed to try working for a living, and then headed over to the bar for a refill, not to return to the table...

    I suspect I've made a couple more enemies... Screw 'em... They would go crunch under the tracks of a logging crawler just like that dreaded underbrush...

    He handled it well I think. :)

    Posted by Ted at 10:29 AM | Comments (0)

    January 19, 2004

    Cul de Sac

    Kelley at Suburban Blight has been mixing things up lately by posting her Cul de Sac's at irregular intervals and there's a new one up now. I must be livin' right, because my timing was good enough to be included. :)

    Posted by Ted at 08:37 PM | Comments (1)

    January 15, 2004

    Something sweet in the kitchen

    I'm not sure if this would fit in under 'lustful' or 'pandering' on my Going to Hell score, but the mens magazine FHM posted some very nice pictures of Food Network hottie hostess Rachel Ray.

    Provocative but work safe, unless your workplace is very conservative.

    Update: Phillip Coons has a link to the WaPo article online.

    Posted by Ted at 07:16 AM | Comments (2)

    January 10, 2004

    Too good to miss

    If you're not already reading Curmudgeonly & Skeptical, you should be. He's posted some laugh-out-loud stuff lately. I especially enjoyed the links to this subliminal site and the simple solution to an age-old problem. Both are mildly naughty.

    Speaking of subliminal, here's a nifty version of Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start The Fire". Thanks to SilverBlue for this one.

    Ah Flea, thanks for this link to 'The Sweetest Thing'.

    A Saturn concept car. Thanks to Not Quite Tea and Crumpets.

    LeeAnn introduces us to Clip Clop Comix. This kind of humor is exactly what most scares people about me my style!

    Posted by Ted at 06:29 AM | Comments (0)

    January 08, 2004

    DUI - Drawing Under the Influence

    Courtesy of Coyote's Bark, this haunting series of drawings by an artist as he progresses through an acid trip.

    Posted by Ted at 05:59 AM | Comments (5)

    January 07, 2004

    Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

    Jumping right into it.

    Annika has started a nice little weekly thing called the Huge Comment. Visit her and check out this week’s, because it’s a doozy. It also gives me the chance to point to Publicola, who I don’t visit near often enough. Read all the good things Annika says about him, because she says it better than I could, and she’s right.

    Over at Bad State of Gruntledness, we’re promised pictures of the mighty carrier USS Midway coming into her final home port, where she’s to be converted into a floating museum.

    Bill wants begs everyone to quote him more. Ok, just for you old-timer. “rhymey”… “bestest”… “fruiting”… “To be perfectly honest, I don't know anything”… and he also goes into this weird Jimmy Carter love thing. On second thought, don’t’ bother going there.

    Instead, go visit Roberto at Dynamo Buzz, where he links to the Greatest All-time Hollywood Speeches. Do ya feel lucky punk?

    Candy posted the link to this trippy psychic compass.

    In a similar vein, Gee, ya THINK!? posts lots and lots of stiletto heels and boot pictures. What is the connection? Well, when I think of psychics, I picture the movie Scanners where the guy goes all spastic and throbby until his head blows up. Seeing a woman in thigh high stiletto heeled boots makes me throb too (and you sickos were waiting for some twisted fantasy about Miss Cleo).

    Margi Lowry posts the lyrics to an oldie some might wish left forgotten, but not I! Many thanks, and may your mojo remain abundant. I'll be singing that on the way home.

    Pictures time! We've got links to pictures. First up, the uber-sarcastic Norbi - known exploiter of happy furry puppy - cracks me up with not one, but two bits of captioning genius! From the top (blogspotted), scroll down and look for the picture of the Croc-dude. Then keep on going until you get to his first post of 2004, titled If You'd Like, You Can Stop Reading After The First One. He's right, the first one is by far the funniest, but the rest pale only in comparison.

    Also, in our photos category we present Glenn over at Hi, I'm Gollum Black! and his link to a gruesome photo of a Paki homicide bomber. Or the identifiable part anyways. Warning, high ick factor.

    Starhawk posts a picture of his dogs for all you Rachel Lucas fans suffering withdrawal, and he talks about the stock market.

    Meanwhile, Marc Scribner of Idiot Villager points out that the 'destabilizing' effects of US foreign policy has resulted in huge positive gains in the Arab stock markets. Damn Americans, spreading western-style prosperity all over like it was a good thing or something.

    If you voted when I asked, then you rule! If not, then you missed your chance to say "I knew Jezebel Diary before they got big." Thanks to us, they won the online poll and will now open for the Suicide Girls at their tour stopover in Seattle, Washington. And I bet if you go to the show, you can go to the side door and tell the guard there that you’re with the band. If that don’t work, just tell him Ted sent ya.

    It’s also time to do it again – well, soon anyways – as The Meatriarch has been nominated for the Weblog awards. Vote people, because it’s the democratic thing to do, unless you hate democracy, in which case you should vote anyways so that the people’s voice can be heard above the imperialistic claptrap of the bourgeouis.

    Damn, Tom Tuttle of Tacoma would be so proud!

    Two states south is California. Kurt explains the origin of his blog name, posts pictures of his kids, and entertains from the Artichoke Capital of America. I just made that last bit up, I think the artichoke capital is north and west of him, closer to the coast. Anna of Primal Purge fame is another Californian, as is the California Yankee. I know LeeAnn and Mr. Navarre of the above mentioned Disgruntledness are also currently Californians. In traditional Munuvian fashion: Yay!

    Finally, for the morbidly curious, you might want to compare the Dead Pool picks of Kelley, Kevin and Kin. It's only a weird coincidence that they all start with 'K'.

    Dead? Dead... mmmm steak. Visit the Laughing Wolf for interesting conversation and cooking posts.

    Jumping right out of it.

    Posted by Ted at 07:30 AM | Comments (2)

    January 06, 2004

    Smithsonian

    The Udvar-Hazy aerospace annex opened in early December, 2003. Museum officials were anticipating about 3 million visitors per year, which proved to be a bit underoptimistic. Almost a quarter-million people have visited the site in it's first three weeks of operation, and the staff is currently working on ways to reduce the wait to see the exhibits.

    Posted by Ted at 08:03 AM | Comments (0)

    January 02, 2004

    I need a new category

    ...just for the neat stuff LeeAnn finds.

    Tinygrow.

    And thanks to Beth of She Who Will Be Obeyed, we have another little toy to play with: 6+=1!

    Posted by Ted at 10:06 AM | Comments (5)

    December 31, 2003

    Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

    A quickie for y'all on the last day of the year.

    Over at Classical Values, Eric posts an interesting bit about the big neighborhood bombing last month in Saudi Arabia. I really like his analysis on various issues, so if you don't read him regularly you should give it a try.

    If you're wondering about Mad Cow, please Please PLEASE go read Phillip Coons, Kevin, or Wind Rider at Silent running (great articles and links here and here). Here's the money quote folks:

    "[emphasis added] Nevertheless, in the United Kingdom, the current risk of acquiring vCJD from eating beef and beef products appears to be extremely small, perhaps about one case per 10 billion servings."

    And that's the same United Kingdom that destroyed whole herds of potentially infected cattle. We've had one freaking case.

    All right, let's lighten up a little bit. Denita (Who Tends the Fires) talks about a new computer game that she's gotten hooked on. I'm not much of a game player, but this one sounds twisted enough to be something I could get into.

    Flags. Who likes flags? We fly the American flag in front of our house each and every day of the year. This Ted (of the Red variety, who goes by the name of Edward - go figure) goes one better and flies historic flags as well. And he posted this great piece about some history of the confederate flag (with context) that's got plenty of cool information and links.

    He also got the Revolutionary war era Culpeper Militia flag for Christmas. Which I think is cool because I fly rockets a couple times a year in the Culpeper area.

    The Flea also posts about flags, this time a link to an index of fictional flags. Ever wonder what the House Atreides flag looked like? How about various banners from LotR? This is a pretty neat link.

    Wince and Nod points out an interesting article from Crichton about science and what it entails within the fabric of society. He also links to Jerry Pournelle, who often has interesting things to say.

    The comic strip Pearls Before Swine. If you ignore every other link in here, you should read this one. Thanks to Nic for pointing this one out to me.

    Hey, SilverBlue makes the big time! Mookie gets a mention too (says proud papa). G'Day Mate!

    Rocket Man talks about Mars and the not-so-spectacular success rate we've had exploring it (by 'we' I mean all of earth, no nationalistic bias here). On second thought, we're talking about sending probes to another planet!!! Imagine the finesse needed just to get something into orbit that far away. We'll keep trying and keep getting better at it. It's what we do.

    I had this great joke all set up involving any ladies reading this and a t-shirt I found online that says "I'd love a good spanking", but the danged link won't work! On to plan B...

    The Commissar has a detailed map of Munuviana posted (the big - and less interesting because we're not in it - map is here). Yours truly can be found holding fast at the southern border. Ted Sputnik, I like that.

    Oh yeah, stop by and say hello to a couple of new Munuvians, Civilization Calls and Semi-Intelligent Thoughts. Also, it's not brand new, but you should check out the group blog Consent of the Governed. Good stuff there.

    Posted by Ted at 06:50 AM | Comments (2)

    December 22, 2003

    The Internet Video Archive

    If you've got the bandwidth and a high-speed connection, you could probably spend quite a while here.

    Posted by Ted at 06:58 AM | Comments (2)

    December 21, 2003

    After Link Love like this, I need a cigarette

    Over at JimiLove, Inc., yours truly has been nominated, nay, crowned "nicest guy on the internet".

    I'm feeling pretty darned good about it. Since it was totally unexpected, I don't have any words prepared, so I'll plagiarize paraphrase some from a movie.

    If this were Ted's Universe, I'd require stiffer sentencing for repeat offenders. And world peace.

    Thank you.

    Posted by Ted at 10:24 AM | Comments (5)

    December 20, 2003

    OSHA and Santa

    Nic pointed this one out. Too funny!

    Posted by Ted at 07:10 AM | Comments (0)

    December 19, 2003

    One of those little excursions

    Mookie borrowed a t-shirt from her best friend last weekend (they often trade clothes) which said "How Not To Get Caught". Underneath are three 'international' style pictograms, you know the ones with the little stick figures. The first says "Act dumb", next is "Deny you did it", and then finally "Blame the flying monkeys". Cute.

    But I wondered what kind of hits one would get if we Googled "How Not To Get Caught".

    Number 2 on the list is How not to get caught in the unethical fish trap via the BBC. From the article: "Eating seafood can be a minefield for the ethical consumer. Where, how and when a fish is caught dictates its environmental impact - and this information is seldom available on shop labels or menus."

    Next up - number 6 or so - is a site titled "Grow securely - how not to get caught". Welcome to the UK Cannabis Internet Activists (UKCIA), which is some sort of marijuana advocacy organization. They have a forum listed on their main page, and ask you to tell them what you think. I'm reminded of an old 'Shoe' comic, where Skyler asks Uncle Shoe if dope is bad for you. He says "Yes. It causes your body to be thrown into jail."

    This next one looks like some sort of historical link: How not to get caught making fake credit card calls. Chock full of 60's-style anti-establishment lingo and rhetoric. Amusing.

    How not to get caught wanking. Crude and juvenile. Lots of pop-ups too, including one featuring a picture of Einstein. Do you think Albert wanked in the shower? The unified theory of wanking?

    Moving on...

    The very first thing on page 2 is How not to get caught on the World Wide Web. Since you're reading this, I'll assume it's too late.

    Dark Tipper Kevin Rose On How Not To Get Caught Downloading Music, Proof Planet X Exists, Camwhore Face-Off.

    Here we get tips on How not to get caught speeding (hopefully). I especially like the "(hopefully)" part. Here's a helpful tip: "Memorize the headlight patterns of the common cop cars in your area." Uh huh.

    Boy Howdy! At NotInYourPants.com you can order books on how to deal with Escorts. They adveritse: "MORE F**K FOR THE BUCK! BUY NOW and you'll also get a copy of my FREE article, "How Not to Get Caught With the Girl You Bought," full of extremely valuable information on guaranteeing that your escort experience remains discreet."

    Simply titled How Not To Get Caught, our next stop contains this wisdom:
    "Martyrs have their place in every movement, and they can be quite effective symbols; however, substance wins over symbolism every time, and you can't do anything substantial if you are sitting behind bars. The Confederate guerrilla is, by the nature of his activities, the free-est of free men. The only way that he can maintain that freedom of action is not to get caught, and the only way not to get caught is not to be identified."

    Digging a little further, this guy is waiting for the Confederacy to rise again. Literally.

    There are tons and tons of links to go through. How not to get caught when shoplifting, having affairs, stealing cable TV and other assorted naughtyness.

    Google is your friend.

    Posted by Ted at 08:41 AM | Comments (3)

    December 18, 2003

    WWJD

    Not what you think, unless you know me, then you already knew it couldn't be that.

    What Would Jesus Drive?

    Found via EnSight, which I found through a link at Carol's Chaotic Collection of Curiosities (which, by the way, features a regular roundup of Spam-related articles and links).

    Posted by Ted at 05:30 AM | Comments (2)

    December 17, 2003

    Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

    Lots going on.

    300,000 Dots. Please read it and scroll down too, and remember exactly why capturing Saddam Hussein was a historic moment to the Iraqi people. Thanks to the guys at Random Nuclear Strikes for this link.

    Freaking News has an excellent photoshop Saddam contest running. Thanks to Shell of Across the Atlantic for pointing it out.

    Annika brings us a little history of the 4th Infantry Division, who mounted Operation Red Dawn.

    Over at Blackfive, Matt requests help responding to an email he received. This comment cracked me up:

    “It could also have something to do with their accents. In America, women who speak english with a french accent are considered to be sexy and men who speak english with a french accent are considered to be gay.” – digrafid AKA the grungy guide

    Not that there's anything wrong with that, mind you. Being gay I mean, not being French. (I know, you saw that coming a mile away)

    Dawn posts a link to a television commercial that can only be described as ‘sweet’. And sometimes that’s just what you need.

    Now over at Curmudgeonly & Skeptical, Rodger mentions a History Channel program, Time Machine: Nazi Guerrillas. I saw that show too, and if you get a chance I highly recommend it.

    Norbi is running several caption contests with real actual genuine prizes! He also uses the word ‘chucklehead’ which kind of pisses me off because I was planning on bringing back that oldie myself in a post later this week. So now, it becomes a tribute instead of a trendsetter.

    Once again, the flea links to virtual coolness. This time, it’s animated engines. I was reminded of this book and a similar one that give plans on how to craft working mechanical engines of wood. While searching for that one, I came across this book which shows how to make working wooden locks. I'm not patient enough to produce that kind of intricacy in wood, but I can appreciate the beauty of the pieces.

    Filed under “WTF? Keep an eye on this…”, both Marc of The Idiot Villager (he isn’t) and someone else who’s link I’ve misplaced (and I’m embarrassed about that), look into the fact that MoveOn.Org, is going international. Yep. The Democratic party – well, not officially – are now inviting foreign citizens to donate money to MoveOn who will then distribute it ‘legally’ to Democratic candidates in order to defeat President Bush.

    Update: Random Nuclear Strikes notes the same item and links to Drudge. Also, try a little bagpipe Christmas music.

    FanBall. Go try it, it’s addictive as hell. Thanks to Jockularocracy for the pointer.

    More ‘whoa, neat!’ stuff, this time via Jimi Love. Warning, the cool link does not allow you to ‘back’ out and return.

    How can you not love someone who titles a post “Kucinich, you maggot infested, disease ridden whoreson.” Thanks to Kin – who’s TDY in Italy at the moment – for the link to Gee, ya THINK!?.

    Ah, feeling the love. I read The Meatriarch every day, and when I finally post a comment he’s all over me like I was wearing a pork chop suit.

    Mark of Not Quite Tea and Crumpets reappears. Not much new yet, but it’s nice to know that everything is ok and that his fine blog wasn’t abandoned.

    Over at Sanity’s Edge, Paul posts two hysterically funny stories. (making a note about my ‘answering the phone’ story…)

    Serenity posted an awesome link to 'The best of the Hubble'. Awesome is too lightweight a word for these pictures.

    And so ends this edition. Not because I ran out of great things to link to – heck, I only got to the beginning of the S’s – but because lunch is over and it’s time to get back to work.

    Happy Holidays my friends, however you may celebrate.

    Posted by Ted at 07:33 AM | Comments (2)

    December 14, 2003

    Silliness

    Beats standing out in the freezing rain any day.

    I knew something bothered me while watching the Two Towers. Thanks to Johno of The Ministry, I now know that it was the quirky editing. Here's the original, with all scenes restored as it was meant to be seen.

    And since we're feeling middle-earthish, enjoy some Gollum rap. Thanks to Sekimori, via Tiger, for the pointer to this one.

    LeeAnn posted this one, and I suspect that I'm the last person on the internet to have seen it, but in the interest of linking all things silly: Virtual Bubble Wrap.

    Oh yeah, new tagline over on the right. And nobody even noticed. Just like a guy.

    Posted by Ted at 09:22 AM | Comments (1)

    December 13, 2003

    Or you could just stick a fork in the outlet

    A page dedicated to Christmas Lights.

    I'm all for showing the Christmas spirit, but those people who go all out to decorate every inch of their house, inside and out, for Christmas kinda creep me out.

    Posted by Ted at 07:43 AM | Comments (2)

    December 12, 2003

    Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

    Jockularocracy. Cursor fun.

    Ghost of a flea. Visual Thesaurus. Very very cool.

    Pensieri found an odd site. It's an online collection of stewardess uniforms.

    Jon took a candidate quiz to see who he's most in tune with. He posted his results with comments. My favorite line:
    I'd move to Chicago so I could vote against him twice.

    Heather of Angelweave points out this hilarious bit of internet humor. Bandwidth alert, and drink warning too. I'm soooooo there.

    Brian Noggle creates a nifty new swear word, but lost me during the explanation when he used the phrase: "That's a twofer you don't get with an unvoiced labiodental fricative." I had to look it up, because to my admittedly gutter-dwelling mind, it sounds like performing non-reciprocated oral sex while staying at her folk's place for the holidays. Thanks again to Heather, for that mental image. Ever been to a space station?

    Over at Spacecraft, Chris Hall posts a picture that proves us rocket nuts people are everywhere. If you want to see something slightly twilight-zonish, visit Huntsville, Alabama. Every other business there is named Rocket-this or Astro-that.

    Ben Dover, because good advice is timeless.

    Learn about rocketry.

    I've mentioned him before: Ray Dunakin builds rockets that take aerial photographs. He sells beautiful 8x10 prints, mounted and matted, for $15.00 + shipping. Worth considering if you're looking for something different to give as Christmas gifts.

    For those who are sick of holiday music, you must Must MUST go here and listen. Actually, everyone should go, because this is falling-down-holding-your-side-it-hurts funny. Work safe, and don't forget to click the 'offended?' link at the end. Major kudos to Shell of Across the Atlantic for pointing this one out.

    Terry has been visiting China, has a camera, and knows how to use it. Wow.

    The Meatriarch posted a great bit about Hollywood fighting vs. Real Life fighting.

    If you look up the word despair in the dictionary, you'll find that they mention being a Cleveland sports fan.

    Mr. Helpful casts and scripts his version of A Christmas Carol.

    Lynn points out this cheerful virtual snowglobe, and helpfully reminds you to turn the sound up so you can hear the screams as you rock their little universe.

    Jail babes. Another option for that special nitwit on your list. Thanks to Say Uncle for the link.

    More gift-giving goodies, courtesy of Jay at Sophont.

    Gee, Ya Think?! points out this page full of Christmas Hamster-dancing.

    Ho.

    Posted by Ted at 08:13 AM | Comments (1)

    December 11, 2003

    Crafty Crafty Crafty

    Cross stitch with an attitude.

    Thanks to the flea for this pointer.

    Posted by Ted at 07:54 AM | Comments (0)

    December 09, 2003

    The new Battlestar Galactica

    I didn't much care for the original, and I didn't watch the remake last night on the Sci-Fi channel. But a friend pointed out this page with a BG game, if you like shoot-em-ups.

    Posted by Ted at 10:10 AM | Comments (0)

    Cowgirl Pinups

    Another specialized niche in the genre of pinup art. Yipee Ki-ay!

    For another obscure bit of pinup history, check out my earlier post on Art Frahm.

    Posted by Ted at 06:09 AM | Comments (1)

    December 08, 2003

    A Galaxy of Links

    More than 2200 links about telescopes, observatories, the solar system, societies, deep-sky, space agencies, space missions, rockets, space stations, astronauts, launch facilities, aerospace companies... and much more.

    Posted by Ted at 11:46 AM | Comments (3)

    December 02, 2003

    Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

    I'm going to wander all over the place with this edition, including a couple few old friends, as well as some folks who I'd guess aren't already on your radar screen.

    Starting off with some naughty stuff, check out Book Whores, reviewers of 'Cruel and Unusual Books'. Plenty of links to their listed favorites, and categorized into such as Bodice Rippers and Absinthe & Opium. I discovered them courtesy of Yummy Wakame, a beautifully designed site that I found via ErosBlog.

    Her byline reads "Porn, Politics, and Punditry". Blogslut works in the Internet Porn industry. I'm looking forward to reading more of her insights about the industry, because so far it's pretty interesting stuff. It's not all porn related, but it's not kid-safe either.

    This is just fowl, and yes I spelled it that way intentionally. Do you remember the joke about the difference between kinky and perverted? The story at the link is perverted. Hey, I laughed as I read it.

    Ok, let's move away from the adult section...

    Rocket Man has a great review of missions to Mars, including several that he's worked on himself. Thanks to Professor Hall for pointing this out.

    You may have heard that the Japanese lost a rocket that carryied a couple of spy satellites last week when their home-built rocket failed. Rand Simberg talks about the possible shortcomings to the way the Japanese are approaching space (hint: way too NASA-like). He also talks about the Chinese and their long-term goals. Read the comments too, there's some intriguing debate going on.

    And just in case you don't read Rand because you think it's all tech-related (as if that's a bad thing), check out his razor-sharp parody of Al Gore.

    Congratulations to Kurt of Jockularocracy for being invited to join the Bear Flag League. These folks are smart California bloggers, and restore my faith in my home state. You probably already read some of them. California also has the coolest state flag. No arguments will be entertained. If you disagree, you're wrong.

    Terry of The Coyote's Bark is travelling in Asia, and posting some amazing pictures. He also managed to catch Simon's soiree of Hong Kong bloggers.

    Ten Rules of Cell Phone Etiquette. I hate the damn things. Occasionally, my wife will insist that I take hers, but I seldom turn it on and it just sits in the glove compartment. I don't have one of my own, and can barely work one. In fact, Liz is going to give me the instruction book for hers this week so I can check her voice mail since everyone will be calling to find out how she is. Link thanks to DynamoBuzz, a Jersey blogger who scores bonus points for the (intentional?) Zappa-esque reference. And just because the whole point here is linkage, check out Backstage, a charter member of the Axis of Evil Naughty Classic.

    Fake Lincoln quotes being used by anti-war protesters. Thanks to Paul of Sanity's Edge for that link. By the way, he also linked my Cornucopia of Ted post and even said it was interesting. Best money I ever spent. Thanks Paul!

    Alright, this site is funny. Maybe you already knew about Bunsen, but it's new to me. In fact, I'll excerpt a little bit here, but you can read the rest.

    Michael Jackson Song Titles That Will Conveniently Double as His Prison Bitch Name

    -- "Billie Jean" [Thriller]
    -- "Dirty Diana" [Bad]
    -- "Girlfriend" [Off the Wall]
    -- "The Girl is Mine" [Thriller]
    -- "PYT" (Pretty Young Thing) [Thriller]
    -- "Liberian Girl" [Bad]
    -- "Albino Man Barbie" [Dangerous B-side]
    -- "Sexy Sexy Nose Hole Jackie" [Japanese Import]

    Justice is Coming. And his name is not Ryan Leaf. A San Diego Chargers blog, for the masochistic among us. LeeAnn, the Chargers and Padres are the price you pay for living in paradise.

    "I got my first boner in church." Finally, like the last kid picked when choosing sides, our honorary right-fielder (someone has to be it) is LasagnaFarm. Amusing stuff, even moreso since almost none of it applied to me. Except maybe that boner line. Is there a statute of limitations on sin?

    Posted by Ted at 09:18 AM | Comments (3)

    November 28, 2003

    Hoser, eh?

    Build your own outdoor ice rink. Link courtesy of the Hockey Pundits.

    Posted by Ted at 12:24 PM | Comments (0)

    Feeling good

    Lynn from Reflections in d minor reflects on why Thanksgiving is special to Americans. This is a beautiful bit of writing and absolutely correct too.

    President Bush visits the troops in Iraq for Thanksgiving. This man is amazing, and that was the perfect thing to do at the perfect time.

    While I'm admiring leadership, let's give Hillary Clinton a hand as well, for visiting troops in Afghanistan over Thanksgiving. I've spent holidays working on the flight line, and visits like this are very much appreciated.

    And although I'm at work today, that's a good thing too because Mookie and mom are putting up Christmas decorations. It's nice to come home and find that my only job is to haul boxes back up into the attic.

    Oh yeah, it was a pleasant surprise this morning to find myself alone atop the standings in my Fantasy Hockey League. The top five or six teams have been tight all season, and it changes every day, but this is the first time I've been in first place all by myself. Woot!

    Posted by Ted at 07:16 AM | Comments (1)

    November 27, 2003

    More non-Rocket Rocket Stuff

    From the same artist who brought us the Oz painting from yesterday, say hello to Rocket the cat.

    Now this is guaranteed to steam your buns! The Rocket Dog frankfurter vending system. It's Ergonomic too. Be still my heart.

    Posted by Ted at 06:18 AM | Comments (0)

    November 26, 2003

    Where would Jack Nicholson sit?

    Finding Oz.

    Posted by Ted at 07:20 AM | Comments (2)

    November 25, 2003

    Your Alpha Bravo Charlies

    Thanks to DeltaTangoBravo (and I even stole his excellent post title), you can now learn what your initials would be in the Radio Operator Alphabet. Military types might already know this, but it's still fun.

    Alpha
    Bravo
    Charlie
    Delta
    Echo
    Foxtrot
    Golf
    Hotel
    India
    Juliet
    Kilo
    Lima
    Mike
    November
    Oscar
    Papa
    Quebec
    Romeo
    Sierra
    Tango
    Uniform
    Victor
    Whiskey
    X-ray
    Yankee
    Zulu

    Interestingly, many folks seem to wind up sounding like old porn stars and strippers.

    This is Romeo Tango Papa signing off. Over and out.

    Posted by Ted at 10:48 AM | Comments (6)

    November 23, 2003

    More housekeeping

    More entries into the 'meant to blogroll these but forgot' category.

    Quibbles and Bits is quirky and scattershot. Not for everyone, but definitely worth a look.

    Enjoy one of the most beautiful blog layouts I've ever seen. Now if only the font size was just a tad larger. Welcome to Candy Universe.

    Fellow Munuvian Daniel is one of the minds behind Bsurot Tovot. Check it out.

    Primal Purge. She knows Kerpal, who kicked my dog. Oh, just go see her and click the link.

    Margi Lowry is taking a short break for personal reasons. Worth waiting for.

    The troll blog from On the Fritz has been on the roll for awhile. I've now added his main blog. His site is one of those that won't let you 'back button' out.

    Conrad is the author of Gweilo Diaries. He's another expat in Hong Kong, ala our Simon.

    Idiot Villager, where "solutions are not the answer". 'Nuff said.

    More well-written randomness, courtesy of Travelling Shoes.

    Allah. Yahweh. In the house.

    Posted by Ted at 12:09 AM | Comments (1)

    November 21, 2003

    They speak Latin when you aren't watching

    Evil little fuckers. Have you ever seen that Geico commercial where the squirrel runs out into the middle of the road, causing a car wreck? Of course you have.* And then they celebrate, getting all jiggy widit.

    Need more proof of their sinister nature? Ask and ye shall receive!

    I'm just glad they live in my neighbor's attic. In fact, I'm tickled pink about that, because he's a jerk.

    *To my international friends, just smile and nod. It works for teenagers.

    Posted by Ted at 01:27 PM | Comments (1)

    Housekeeping

    Most of these were previously mentioned, but never added to my blogroll for one very good reason: Mookie distracted me with her teenage attitude and crap.* I hope to remedy all of it this weekend.

    Carol’s Chaotic Collection of Curiosities – Tino Martinez news, some good recipe links, and a roundup of spam news for which I was included for this. Why didn’t I see this coming?

    Reflections in d minor – I don’t visit as often as I should, because I’m never disappointed by Lynn’s gentle good humor. She also makes me want to learn more about classical music.

    This blogger named Taco lives in Norway and he’s into politics and history. He has some interesting things to say.

    Delusional Duck is a very news-oriented open blog. Everyone is invited to post, or as they put it “No rules, just write.” Somewhat local to me.

    Left & Right. Salt & Pepper. Lea & Perrin. Rum & Coke. Some things are just naturally right (and left). He’s another local blogger too.

    These guys kind of fell off of my radar. I’m an idiot. Vote for me! (seemed like a natural followup)

    Sheri can’t come to the door right now. Anyone know what’s going on?

    Glenn of Hi, I’m Black! has a t&a blog called, appropriately enough, Not Work Safe. He doesn’t update often, but I see someone from there visits me every day. So I return the favor. I know, it’s a terrible imposition, having to visit a site with pretty and near-naked ladies. That tells you what a nice guy I am.

    Fleshbot is fairly new and rather adult oriented. It’s not really a blog, but more like an e-zine. But hey, gotta love a site that points out a link to ‘Women of Wal-Mart’.

    I stumbled across this blog while googling for images. Nice site and nice guy.

    I'm sure there's more. I'll get to it when I get a chance.

    *That was for her creepy post about the death row inmate that was executed on my wedding aniversary. She's a punk.

    Posted by Ted at 07:10 AM | Comments (1)

    November 19, 2003

    Is there really a need for this?

    Not one, but two books on the complex art of napping. Further proof that you can make money selling most anything on the internet.

    Posted by Ted at 06:25 AM | Comments (0)

    November 18, 2003

    Morbidly Curious Department

    The Texas Department of Criminal Justice has created a web page detailing what each death row inmate had for his (or her) final meal. It's interesting that tobacco is prohibited, even to those about to be executed.

    Posted by Ted at 08:51 AM | Comments (1)

    November 17, 2003

    Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

    For a wonderful report on a pro-US rally in Washington state, with lots of pictures, go see these guys. Say hello and thanks in their comments too.

    Al points out a webring of sites owned and operated by military personnel.

    Across the Atlantic. List of countries with troops in Iraq. How unilateral of us.

    Every Monday, Jeff at Alphecca does a roundup of firearm related stories and some damn good analysis. We’re talking fair and balanced here, in it’s original sense. Whatever your personal take on guns and related issues, you should visit him and read what he has to say. He also provides tons of links to sources.

    Related to the above, Publicola relates the story of a woman who sees men with guns on her front porch. She shoots and wounds one of them, and is now being prosecuted because they were police SWAT team members preparing to break down her door unannounced. The first trial ended in a hung jury, but she faces the possibility of going through it all over again.

    Being one of those twisted individuals who enjoys obscure and historical military trivia, I found this item at the Flea to be fascinating. Imagine being a member of one of the Canadian Tunneling Companies during World War I…

    Kelley has the new Cul-de-Sac up. Good links to several blogs I’ve mentioned before, so if you didn’t believe me, trust her. She also includes fellow-Munuvian Heather, of Angelweave fame.

    Thanks to Jay at Sophont, we now know that art is shit. And vice versa. I'm so glad we've learned to synthetically produce that, because I live near Washington DC, and if the Saudis can run short of sand...

    Let's finish up with a cool little optical illusion, courtesy of Jockularocracy.

    Posted by Ted at 12:29 PM | Comments (1)

    Another hobby designed to keep your wallet free of finance

    Of the various Radio Control hobbies, RC boats is a small part, almost an afterthought compared to cars and airplanes. Most RC boats are racers, but there is a small and dedicated group dedicated to military warships. This group is further divided into the scale-model contingent and the combat enthusiasts. The scale-modellers create miniature versions of real ships, taking great pains to fill them with exacting detail. The combat guys don't go to the trouble, since their goal is to sink everything else floating.

    That's right, they build models of warships that have working guns. Most of the ships are at 1:96 scale or better, meaning that a scale WWII aircraft carrier like the Yorktown will be around six feet long.

    There's a FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions file) here with lots of information about this interesting hobby, including estimated starting costs and construction tips. My favorite part:

    3. Do the ships actually sink?

    Yes. There is no challenge otherwise.

    The ships are built to rigid standards that ensure that they can be damaged easily and can be sunk if sufficient damage is sustained. Low-powered BB cannons are used to poke holes in the 1/32" balsa wood that is used on the hull of the ship. Ships also have homemade bilge pumps on-board that can be used to pump out as needed.

    However, if the rate of incoming water exceeds the pumping rate, the ship will fill with water and eventually sink.

    There's more information here at the Home Port of Big Gun RC Warship Combat. If you look around this site, you'll find a list of clubs in various areas of the US and around the world, as well as an extensive listing of materials suppliers and resources.

    And if you look here, you'll find a list of links to many Australian battlegroups, among others.

    Cool stuff, but the last thing I need is another expensive hobby.

    Posted by Ted at 07:40 AM | Comments (2)

    November 16, 2003

    I don't own any of these

    In fact, I don't even want any of these, so my ranking on the geek/fanatic scale should be adjusted downwards by a few points.

    For the record, I don't own rocket jammies either.

    But for those who feel a bit rocket-deficient, I offer the following suggestions.

    Shaken, not cryo stirred.

    And while you're sipping your martini, you can prepare a delicious dinner with the help of the RocketChef food chopper.

    Toys! How about the Rocket Football? Or perhaps your youngster (or you yourself?) has one of those wooden Brio trains, in which case you couldn't pass up your very own Curious George and the Rocket Ship track add-on.

    You just knew that this one had to be here - the Pocket Rocket.

    Ooooo, rocket clip-art.

    Go Google on Maurice 'Rocket' Richard and Roger 'Rocket' Clemens.

    And finally, a whole page full of rocket-shaped crapola, presented with flair and humor.

    Posted by Ted at 07:09 AM | Comments (0)

    November 13, 2003

    Rocketing Around The Blogosphere

    This edition is the Happy Birthday celebration for Bill, who just turned the big five-oh! It's all downhill from here, guy, so just settle into your rocking chair, put on your reading glasses, and try not to doze off.

    I was going to link to this article over at Rocket Man, about the most recent technology involved in tomorrow’s airships and how the US is planning to use them (you should read it and be amazed), but then I ran across the post where he relates his father’s experiences in WWII. Both well worth the visit.

    Over at Transterrestrial Musings, Rand Simberg points out an interesting discussion about how nanotechnology is described to everyday people, and how the metaphors used in that description could be part of the acceptance problem. Daniel, did you already see this?

    Kate of Electric Venom is dealing with her military husband leaving for situations unknown. Harvey says it so much better than I could, so my thanks and best wishes to Kate and her family, and to Harvey and his. This particularly touched me because at this time we don’t know exactly where our son is. I’ve talked about him before, he serves on a US Navy attack sub. His last message was a middle-of-the-night phone call from the Med to let us know he was ok, but heading right back out again. No details other than to forget Christmas plans.

    Also, on Jocularocracy, an excellent post about American sports figures who served their country.

    Genital Warts: the Musical. Seriously. Which is also what this guy is. Seriously funny that is, not genitally warted. Uh, that I know of. I mean, I don't know for sure either way, ok?

    Aaaaagh! My eyes! The flea must pay for this atrocity. Oh wait, he has. With this… I’m in lust! (This excerpt brought to you by Lithium, trusted by multiple personalities the world over.)

    StMack of Hold the Mayo goes on an analysis binge. He’s spot on about the current filibustermania and what it really means. He’s also done some introspection about his own postings and decided that it all breaks down into two categories: It Amuses Me, and It Pisses Me Off. Yin and Yang.

    Now Alice (who is married to a much older man) is posting pictures from a pig roast. At least they claim it's pig. Pretty grotesque if you’re not into whole roasted animals. Pretty yummy otherwise. Is it just me, or does that look like Alf lying there after the Feds finally caught up with him? Betcha Willie’s doing hard time for that one, or maybe spending the reward money…

    Speaking of throwing meat-flavored animals on the fire, the Meatriarch posts about objectivist pickup lines, which probably pleases Don no end, because to hear him tell it, he needs all the help he can get.

    Plus, Mr. A points to one of the coolest online toys/time wasters I’ve seen in a while. I love this kind of stuff!

    SantaHelpful has arrived. Be joyous and merry.

    This kind of stuff is why you should read this guy.

    Bill, wake up... Bill, we're almost done.

    The AnalogKid at Random Nuclear Strikes is planning to show up to support the troops because the screwballs from Not In Our Name are planning to show up to encourage troop mutiny. Here’s a followup post as well.

    Ross at Rocket Penguin is going active duty. Drop by and wish him well, and encourage caretaker Phil.

    Dead Pool anyone? The clock is ticking – no pun intended, Bill. Thanks to Paul for the pointer, and who hates the elderly (well, just one specific old guy).

    Homemade pies and strip joints and antique silver.

    McTroll meets TwoDragons and is warned: “you'll discover what "McAlteration of McComments" means.”

    Bill has been bitching about his job quite a bit lately. My advice is to quit. Maybe McDonalds is hiring greeters. He's such a people person, ya know? Besides, folks expect the elderly to be grouchy.

    Nic is riding the roller-coaster of Washington Capitals fandom, along with everyone else who roots for them. I won’t even mention mood-swings to Victor, because he’s undoubtedly going through them too. What was that about Yin and Yang? Oh yeah, which Capitals team will show up on any given night.

    All done. I'd call Bill a link-whore, but that would imply an active libido, and there's no evidence he can even get it up anymore. Anyway, stop by and say hello and wish him a happy birthday. Stop by again later, don't worry, he won't remember.

    Posted by Ted at 11:51 AM | Comments (3)

    November 10, 2003

    Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

    I haven't done one of these in a while, mainly because real-life has been kinda full lately. This one is a simple list of blogs I've recently started reading. Some you've probably heard of, but maybe some are new to you. Hopefully you'll find someone new and interesting to visit.

    Quibbles and Bits

    Gweilo Diaries

    reflections in d minor

    bsurot tovot

    Allah is in the house

    Yahweh is in the house

    Idiot Villager

    Left & Right

    On the Fritz

    Travelling Shoes

    Forget who you are, and you'll fit right in

    Margi Lowry

    Primal Purge

    Candy Universe

    Posted by Ted at 05:50 AM | Comments (3)

    November 07, 2003

    Nerd, Geek or Dork?

    Take the test and identify your inner self.

    Also, for your N/G/D entertainment, this is a cool look at video game and computer history.

    Posted by Ted at 05:26 AM | Comments (4)

    November 04, 2003

    I hear Satan calling...

    Sheri at Two Nervous Dogs damns us all to hell. That deserves a great big Munuvian hug and howdy!

    Posted by Ted at 12:06 PM | Comments (2)

    Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

    Hey, did you see this stuff?

    Over at You Can Call Me Al, Alan posts a beautiful description of the US Flag folding tradition.

    Meanwhile, Nic did exactly what I did this weekend, namely getting the yard ready for winter. She ate some spam too. Mmmmmm, spam… For those of you who refuse to try it, well, that just means more for us barbarians.

    Tink is enjoying the Indian Summer, and hoping for a moderate winter. I don’t know about that, every farmer’s almanac I’ve seen is calling for a harsh winter. We’re kinda due for one too, because the last few have been relatively light.

    Kevin of Wizbang fame has an interesting debate going on about certain required children’s vaccinations and their potential dangers. His article focuses on the MMR vaccine, but I know that the DPT series also has occasional disastrous side-effects. You can read more here. The site is a little heavy on the scare-tactics, but the information is there.

    Denita posts an original cartoon that captures the perfect afterlife – for homicide bombers. Brava!

    I’ve told you about Wince and Nod before. If you need further convincing that it should be a regular visit, then you should check out his take on the media in Iraq, censorship via internet blocking in the name of ‘security’, and the Bill of No Rights.

    Another debate, this time at Velociworld, about shooting your lawyer. Pro or con, you should go chip in with your two cents.

    Jay points out an article about amateur groups building and launching ‘near spacecraft’. Fascinating stuff.

    Personal ads from prisoners. Tiger’s analysis is a perfect example of why you need counsel if you’re considering a little caged heat.

    Speaking of crime and punishment, you should head over and check out the story of the executed murderer. How mundane, you say? They hanged an elephant (hung? nah, hanged sounds right.). Thanks to Say Uncle for the pointer!

    From Silent Running:
    Of course, the fact that Saddam was going out of his way to make everyone think he had WMDs is of no consequence to the 'where are the WMDs?' crowd.

    Perhaps they actually never did exist, excepting in what Saddam wished for people to believe.

    Case in point: be careful what you wish for. Someone might actually believe you are as scary as you want people to think.

    Another classic fisking by Jon of Q and O, one of many. My favorite line:

    It's magic! The President would tell the UN to "handle it" and it would be "handled". Magical Self-Determination Fairies would wave their Peace Wands and everything would be ok, again!

    Finally, we'll finish up with some beauty.

    Terry is a master with the camera, and his photographs continually amaze. His sunsets are particularly awe-inspiring.

    I enjoy the photos posted by Starhawk as well. He’s done beautiful series on the World Trade Center site and his garden.

    Posted by Ted at 10:51 AM | Comments (3)

    Appropriate Imagery

    Annika points the way to an interesting survey of blogs and bloggers.

    A couple of things jumped out at me.

    BlogSpot and LiveJournal are the two market leaders, each with 31% of these hosted blogs. While BlogSpot is growing more quickly, its retention rate is lower, and the two sites should continue to race neck-and-neck in the near term in terms of active users.

    Making BlogSpot the AOL of blogging. That's not really a surprise, because I've noticed a bias against BlogSpotters in the blogosphere.

    Also, this survey only included Blog-City, BlogSpot, Diaryland, LiveJournal, Pitas, TypePad, Weblogger and Xanga. Their rationale seems reasonable.

    The report concludes that the blogosphere is like an iceberg, where a very few (the big boys) are read by thousands every day, yet the vast majority of blogs remain unseen by most, 'under the surface' if you will. They then discuss nanoaudiences (not to be confused with the off-Broadway production of Nano-Nanette) and the methodology used.

    According to the report, this is the first in a series of surveys to be done. Future results will be interesting.

    Posted by Ted at 08:19 AM | Comments (0)

    November 03, 2003

    I haven't laughed this hard in a long long time

    Over at Rocket Penguin, a story about a Sergeant, a boy and his poncho.

    Oops, I guess I should warn y'all that it's a .pdf file, if that matters. It shouldn't, because it's that good.

    Posted by Ted at 12:35 PM | Comments (4)

    October 31, 2003

    Pumpkins revisited

    I talked about it here, and checked back today. You should too, because the winners are up in the Extreme Pumpkin Carving Contest. Way cool!

    Too many great ones to choose a favorite.

    Posted by Ted at 01:43 PM | Comments (1)

    Boo

    Here's a mouldering pile of bones links to ghost stories and information about haunts and real haunted houses.

    Didja notice the tagline over on the right column changed? I do that once in a while ya know.

    Here's some spooky quotations for you:

    Just like a ghost, you've been a-hauntin' my dreams,
    So I'll propose... on Halloween.
    Love is kinda crazy with a spooky little girl like you.
    --Dennis Yost and the Classics IV, "Spooky"

    He's not stupid; he's possessed by a retarded ghost.
    --Unknown

    If a man harbors any sort of fear, it makes him landlord to a ghost.
    --Lloyd Douglas

    True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about but few have seen.
    --Anonymous

    ON HALLOWEEN

    The witches fly
    Across the sky,
    The owls go, "Who? Who? Who?"
    The black cats yowl
    And green ghosts howl,
    "Scary Halloween to you!"

    --Nina Willis Walter

    From ghoulies and ghosties and long leggety beasties and things that go bump in the night, Good Lord, deliver us!
    --Scottish saying

    Eye of newt, and toe of frog, Wool of bat, and tongue of dog, Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting, Lizard's leg, and owlet's wing, For a charm of powerful trouble, Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
    --William Shakespeare Witches in Macbeth

    There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.
    --Jean Baudrillard

    What fearful shapes and shadows beset his path, amidst the dim and ghastly glare of a snowy night! With what wistful look did he eye every trembling ray of light streaming across the waste fields from some distant window! How often was he appalled by some shrub covered with snow, which, like a sheeted spectre, beset his very path! How often did he shrink with curdling awe at the sound of his own steps on the frosty crust beneath his feet; and dread to look over his shoulder, lest he should behold some uncouth being tramping close behind him! and how often was he thrown into complete dismay by some rushing blast, howling among the trees, in the idea that it was the Galloping Hessian on one of his nightly scourings!
    --Washington Irving - From "The Legend of Sleep Hollow"

    Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn and cauldron bubble
    --William Shakespeare Witches in Macbeth

    I got a rock.
    --Charlie Brown

    Posted by Ted at 08:02 AM | Comments (1)

    October 29, 2003

    It's never too late to be crappy

    "Sure, the Sweat Hogs were all fairly popular in their day, but to think some poor 7 year old kid was wandering the streets dressed up as Gabe Kaplan is a crying shame. If you were really cool, you could wear the mask with a basketball uniform and go as Gabe Kaplan from FASTBREAK, or just go naked with it as Ron Jeremy."

    Great commentary and more from this font of inspiration for those who just can't decide what to wear this year.

    The Worst Halloween Costumes of All Time

    Thanks to Transterrestrial Musings for the link.

    Posted by Ted at 04:54 PM | Comments (1)

    October 27, 2003

    Cul-de-Sac

    Expand your horizons.

    Posted by Ted at 05:45 PM | Comments (0)

    Volksmarching

    Volksmarching (literally people's walk) is a popular German pastime where folks take a stroll through the scenic countryside. The routes are marked, and there are checkpoints along the way where you get your route card stamped. At the end you get a trinket of some sort (pin or patch or similar item) and your milage and event cards get updated so you have a record of how many you've done and how far you've walked. It's a nice way to spend a day.

    If you want information about volksmarching in your area, do a Google search. They've pretty much spread worldwide, and you can probably find one reasonably local to you.

    The German word for large is 'gross'.

    Professor Hall talks a little bit about the motorcyclists version called an Iron Butt Rally, and the troubles you can have on the road.

    So what do all these tidbits of information have in common? Keep reading...

    Two American ladies are visiting Germany on vacation and decide to go on a volksmarch. As they're walking along they happen upon a German gentleman relieving himself against a tree.

    One of the girls says "Ewww, gross!"

    The gentleman smiles and says "Danke."

    Posted by Ted at 04:08 PM | Comments (1)

    October 24, 2003

    Betty Bowers...

    ... is a better Christian than you.

    In fact, according to her website, she's "so close to Jesus, he uses her birthday when he plays Lotto."

    Sharp satire and penetrating parody, but be prepared to spend a little time, because there's that much good stuff to go through.

    Posted by Ted at 01:18 PM | Comments (1)

    October 23, 2003

    Almost as good as Joe Cartoon

    Happy Tree Friends! It's cute, it's gory, it's sick. It's hard to find good childrens programming like that these days.

    Thanks to mnavarre for the pointer.

    Oh, if you've never seen Joe Cartoon, well, you've lived a sheltered life.

    (bandwidth alert for everything linked here, and some of the language gets a little rough)

    Posted by Ted at 05:56 PM | Comments (0)

    Hardened criminals in the schools

    Six British schoolboys were rushed to hospital after taking the erection-enhancing drug Viagra at lunchtime for a dare, the school said on Thursday.

    Sorry about the headline, I couldn't resist.

    Posted by Ted at 01:01 PM | Comments (5)

    October 21, 2003

    Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

    Short but intense. Busy busy week.

    The guys at Random Nuclear Strikes keep posting quality stuff. As I scrolled through their blog, I couldn’t decide whether to link to the bit about rebels without a clue, or the one about the legacy of Ronald Reagan, or Noah. Until I found their new effort, the Bellicose Woman’s Brigade, and its primary topic – the right of self defense. Personal note to oldest daughter and Mookie: go read this, and think about it.

    While I’m on that subject, go check out the Shooter’s Carnival too. Lots of good stuff for beginners, in a group blog format. Entries by Publicola, Alphecca, and Say Uncle.

    There’s a nice little debate going on over at Across the Atlantic about the most beautiful airplane ever, prompted by the soon-to-be-retired Concorde.

    This guy always has something thought-provoking to read. You should stop by, and while you’re there ask him why I’m not on his blogroll.

    There’s always a party going on at Madfish Willie’s Cyber Saloon.

    Mr. Helpful is going to be posting chapters of his novel online (there are a lot of bloggers writing novels, which I suppose isn’t all that surprising). Megan is also writing a new story for the Second Spherewide Short Story Symposium. With an owie, no less. That is a dedicated wordsmith.

    Kin's back, and he's picked up right where he left off.

    Nic talks of charity walks and poor pumpkin crops. Blame Canada!

    TwoDragons is having problems with our comment routines not remembering her. We discussed the problem and unofficially decided that it’s the ‘system’ keeping you down.

    New peeps. Say hello.

    Alright, lunch is over. Later.

    Posted by Ted at 12:14 PM | Comments (5)

    October 16, 2003

    American Stonehenge

    Professor Hall left a comment in my druid story about a 1/3 scale model of Stonehenge at the University of Missouri at Rolla.

    Further digging shows that the UM-Rolla site is entirely appropriate as it is also home of the Rock Mechanics & Explosives Research Center, where they do experimental work with high pressure water jets used to cut stone. Their ROTC detachment is nicknamed the Stonehenge Battalion. UMR was also the site of the first nuclear reactor in the state of Missouri.

    And then I found this page - Stonehenge Clones and Metaphorms - which covers North America only. Among the nifty links are the UMR model, Nebraska's Carhenge, Texas' Stonehenge II and Cadillac Ranch (the link wasn't working when I tried it). If you like surfing for the unusual, then these links are fun and interesting.

    Posted by Ted at 08:52 PM | Comments (3)

    Rainmakers

    One of my favorite groups is The Rainmakers. Today I found an interview with their main singer/songwriter Bob Walkenhorst. You really should give 'em a listen.

    Thanks to Instapundit for the pointer.

    Posted by Ted at 02:29 PM | Comments (0)

    October 15, 2003

    Hey, I recognize that snark

    High-profile people doing advertising in Japan.

    From the site:
    Pander: n. 1. go-between in clandestine amours, procurer; one who ministers to evil designs. 2 v.i. minister (to base passions or evil designs, or person having these)

    Japander: n. 1. a western star who uses his or her fame to make large sums of money in a short time by advertising products in Japan that they would probably never use. ~er (see synecure, prostitute) 2. to make an ass of oneself in Japanese media.

    Enjoy the weirdness at Japander.com.

    Posted by Ted at 06:43 AM | Comments (0)

    October 14, 2003

    Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

    Jeff at Alphecca talks about lists and who keeps them. I’m firmly in the list-making camp, but only because my memory is so lousy. I’d hate to forget someone on my ‘must bite’ list if I ever get rabies.

    Annika shares my shame. They should change the Raiders motto from “Pride and Poise” to “Every time the Raiders play, the baby Jesus cries”.

    Navarre is excited about the Army’s new 12 gauge shotgun that mounts under the M4 carbine. Me too! I used to carry the M203 grenade launcher and although it’s comforting to carry a 40mm round full of double-ought buckshot, the M203 was a single shot weapon. Besides, he quotes Army of Darkness, so bonus points in my book!

    The Meatriarch gives valid advice to guys taking a leak for urinalysis testing. “Clink” is bad.

    Dana writes about this years hot new Christmas toys. My favorite:

    "Politically-Correct Crayons - New set of crayons assures that your child will never offend a classmate with their drawings. Crayola has removed any color that, when used to draw a bodily feature, might cause emotional hurt or discomfort to minorities. Out are brown (Latinos), black (African-Americans), red (native Americans), yellow (Asians), orange (Middle Easterners), gray (the elderly), green (Martians), blue (Smurfs), and purple (one-eyed, one-horned, flying people eaters). The boxes of white crayons will sell for the same price as the regular, racist crayons."

    Publicola discusses a new California law and its impact. The inability to consider consequences by some lawmakers is truly frightening.

    "The law officially defines guns lacking these features as 'unsafe guns.' As a result, nearly every single handgun used by California law enforcement officers will be officially defined as an 'unsafe handgun,' a notion certain to be exploited in lawsuits involving police use of firearms.'
    In short, California sheriffs and police chiefs must now choose between issuing mechanically unreliable guns to their officers or issuing guns deemed legally 'unsafe'. "

    SilverBlue has posted a hilarious cartoon!

    Over at USS Clueless, Den Beste contrasts elections held in America vs most everywhere else. This line cracked me up, but you should read it all:

    "We [Americans] have to take candidates as packages, and can't really pick and choose features to create a best-of-breed candidate (i.e. Clinton's charisma combined with Dole's erectile dysfunction)."

    Kevin of Wizbang! writes the following about a neat new blog tool:

    "Jay Allen's MT Blacklist is a Swiss Army knife for comment and trackback content management as well as a spam killer."

    Which is all well and good, but what we need is an American Army knife feature like automatic ‘track down and kill the spammer’.

    Did you know that the National Cathedral in Washington D.C. has a stained glass window that includes a piece of moon rock brought back by Apollo 11? I didn’t either, but Chris Hall did. Thanks!

    In November, the Discovery Channel will be airing a program called “Rocket Challenge” (I’ll post dates and times when they become available). Well, a grass-roots effort to buy commercial time during the programs to promote hobby rocketry has really taken off (pun intended). The goal was to raise $68,000, and it was done in a matter of weeks. I’m proud to be a rocketeer! Thanks to Rocket Forge and all those who contributed for working hard to promote the hobby.

    Blackfive honors fellow blogger Baldilocks for her service to our country. I’d like to add my congratulations and appreciation as well.

    Wanna read about a situation where timing is absolutely key? In this case, being a little late to the party is a good thing.

    Megan always has intriguing and thought provoking posts.

    Jon reports about yet another poll, but this one is interesting in so many ways besides the fact that it was conducted in Baghdad. Get this:

    "Almost everyone responded to the pollsters' questions, with some pleading for a chance to give their opinions."

    Man, how could we do this to these people?

    See what happens when you have a Militia and a Sheriff willing to talk? My God, reasonableness breaks out all over the place!

    Remember the story about the German day-care for men who’re out shopping with their wives? Jay of Sophont makes a good point:

    "This may not be as silly as it sounds. After all, the last time German men were left without adult supervision, they ended up overrunning Europe."

    The Delusional Duck gets a link, just because he’s from Waldorf, Maryland. I lived in Fort Washington long ago, when you took back roads over one-lane bridges through beautiful countryside to get to Waldorf. Now it’s four-lane divided highway through housing developments. Progress can really suck.

    Thanks to Velociworld for the pointer, for he has fine taste in unknown celebrities bearing (not baring) impressive chests.

    Nic gives with her super secret chili spices. She doesn’t specify, but I bet you could change the character of the chili a bit by using sweet paprika vs the hot stuff. I’m going to have to try her recipe.

    Over at Jockularocracy, there’s a pointer to one of those must-have products for today’s world. I can’t wait till it shows up in the ‘As Seen On TV’ store, so I can save on shipping and handling.

    Enjoy!

    Posted by Ted at 12:21 PM | Comments (3)

    Jumping the shark

    In a late episode of the television show Happy Days, Fonzi jumped a shark tank with his motorcycle on waterskis. This became the standard metaphor for the defining moment at which a series began it's decline into crap.

    For some interesting comments on classic (and not-so-classic) television, see Jump The Shark. I especially enjoyed reading and reminiscing about Barney Miller, which is one of my all-time favorites.

    I saw this in an article in Entertainment Weekly which has a policy of being accessable online only to subscribers and newstand buyers, so screw 'em - no link for them.

    Posted by Ted at 07:27 AM | Comments (2)

    File under 'Cool'

    A collection of more than 12 million historic photographs, capturing scenes from the Boer War to the D-Day landings, was published on the Internet Monday.

    The images, which date back to the turn of the 20th century, have been captured from the archives of the British Pathe newsreel, a cinema news service that pre-dated television.

    Peter Fydler, archive marketing director at Britain's Independent Television News, which owns British Pathe, said the collection should provide a powerful learning aid and a trip down memory lane.

    "By using the newsreel archive to create a huge collection of still images, people can have access free of charge to printable pictures which will add to their enjoyment of history," he said.

    The collection can be accessed at www.britishpathe.com. This morning the link was very slow, I suspect due to the amount of traffic trying to reach it. The quotes above come from a story accessed via Yahoo! News, which has more details.

    Posted by Ted at 07:12 AM | Comments (0)

    October 12, 2003

    The Cul de Sac is up

    I'm going to take my time going through this one, because Kelley is headed to Hawaii for a vacation. If you've been wanting to expand your reading circles, then you definitely need to check it out.

    Posted by Ted at 07:21 PM | Comments (0)

    Halloween stuff

    One year I took one of those decorated kiddie bedsheets, this one had cartoons of Donald Duck, Huey, Dewey and Louie, Mickey Mouse and Pluto, etc. I cut out eyeholes and draped it over our son for trick or treating. When people asked what he was supposed to be, he told them he was the ghost of Walt Disney.

    This is cool - Extreme Pumpkins. Thanks to TwoDragons for the link posted at Suburban Blight.

    Q: How do West Virginians celebrate Halloween?
    A: They pumpkin.

    (Every state has a neighboring state that they make fun of. Washington has Idaho, North Carolina has South Carolina, Virginia has West Virginia, and everybody has California.)

    Posted by Ted at 01:49 AM | Comments (3)

    October 11, 2003

    New Links

    I've been meaning to add some folks to my Links Roster, and tonight I finally got around to it. Most of these I've been visiting from other blogrolls or technorati, so all I've really done is make it easier on myself.

    (in no particular order)

    Spacecraft
    Rocket Forge
    Backstage
    JimiLove, Inc.
    Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon
    Say Uncle
    Sophont

    If you haven't seen them yet, drop in and check 'em out, you might find something you like.

    Posted by Ted at 09:29 PM | Comments (0)

    October 10, 2003

    Connections, bastard step-child of

    Bonus points if you understand the title without reading ahead to the end.

    Tonight’s Final Jeopardy answer was about someone being killed by a spear (1700’s I believe), and the price said spear fetched in auction. The correct question – which I didn’t know – was Captain Cook, who was skewered in the Sandwich Islands, now known as Hawaii. The host of the show tossed in another little tidbit. The spear was recovered from Captain Cook’s body by his navigator, a man named Bligh who later became a captain of his own ship – the Bounty.

    This kind of historical trivia floats my boat, so off I went into the realm of Google to see what more I might find.

    Here’s a site maintained by a distant ancestor of Captain Cook with some nice background information about the man and his voyages. I especially like this part:

    What he had bequeathed to future generations was at once grand and simple: a coherent map of the Pacific.

    Helluva legacy.

    After reading this stuff for a while, I became curious about historic maps in general. Back to Google.

    The very first site I found was this nifty online collection of historical maps. I love maps, especially old ones. They just fascinate me. In fact, when I worked at the US Department of State in Washington D.C., I went to a special seminar once in their research library that was totally devoted to the maps in their collection. So I went looking for a link to that.

    What I came across instead was this extensive link list to online cartography resources, which includes the above link, the Library of Congress archives, and much more both modern and historic.

    Back to Google, and looking for ‘antique map’ brings up a long list of map auction houses and retailers. This non-commercial site jumped out at me, it lists antique maps of Iceland. Their home page displays a map from 1547, and there are many more to view.

    Frozen rocky bits of land in the middle of nowhere made me think about maps of the planets in our solar system. This link, from the Jet Propulsion Laboratory, is pretty cool. The maps are stitched together from satellite images and such.

    Further Googling led to this page containing a map that many scientists believe shows positive evidence of the asteroid strike that ended the reign of the dinosaurs. You can read more about it here.

    From NASA to Vasa. Why? Because I knew a little about the Vasa already, and was curious about the progress. You see, the Vasa was a Swedish vessel that was designed to be the most powerful warship afloat. Unfortunately, she capsized and sank on her maiden voyage in 1628 – within a mile of her starting point and in sight of throngs of people gathered to watch her launch. After more than 300 years on the bottom, she was salvaged and raised, and a museum built to display her and tell her story. There’s another nice site about her here, which includes detailed lists of the items salvaged from the wreck.

    The Vasa wasn’t the first ship to sink in such a manner. The British ship Mary Rose had suffered a similar fate about 80 years before. This site gives a little history, as well as a look at underwater archeological techniques.

    Unlike James Burke, who manages to neatly wrap everything up at the end of his columns (no longer in Scientific American – drat) or shows on the Learning Channel, I’m going to take the easy way out here. By the way, if you’ve never had the chance to read or watch his Connections, you should. It’s a fun look at history, in ways you’ve never dreamed of.

    Anyway, back to my copout... The Mary Rose was a British ship, and Captain Cook was the leader of a British exploration voyage. All wrapped up into one neat little package, right back where we started from. C'mon, if I was any good at this, I'd get paid for it!

    Here's a little personal map story. When we first got married my wife could not read a map. One long weekend we travelled to a nearby city to shop and just get away for a few days. When we got inside the city limits I handed my wife a street map and told her that she had to navigate every bit of the way around town. We spent most of that weekend lost, but by the end of it my wife could read a map and get us to where we wanted to go. To this day she keeps an accordian folder full of maps in her trunk, and she knows how to use them when she travels.

    Posted by Ted at 09:27 PM | Comments (5)

    Dammit, now I want one (again)

    Dana at Note-It Posts tells of a great Google search result. Hilarious!

    What caught my eye though was a little farther down the page, the listing for Dean Guitars. Way back when, I wanted one of these in the worst way. Not that I was hurting for a quality instrument, because at the time I was playing an Ibanez (the one on the right).

    Then I got married and did some serious growing up and re-prioritizing in my life. (I'm going to bookend this whole post with another) Dammit!

    Posted by Ted at 10:42 AM | Comments (0)

    Rock

    I missed this when I put together Rocketing Around the Blogosphere last night, but that's ok, because it's worth a post all to itself.

    This is so freaking awesome.

    Thanks to Mark of Not Quite Tea and Crumpets for pointing this out, and thanks to One Hand Clapping for originally posting it.

    Posted by Ted at 05:25 AM | Comments (0)

    October 09, 2003

    Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

    Welcome back Kin. You’ve been missed. Special thanks to Jennifer for letting me know.

    Welcome also to the newest Munuvians: Heather, Don, Jim, and the Lady H. Stop by and say hello.

    Interestingly enough (and this has nothing whatsoever to do with the new Munuvians), I saw on the referral list that someone visited Rocket Jones from a porn site. Possibly the one I wound up on today at work. Doesn’t matter, because the lesson to learn is: surf porn, increase hits!

    Daniel points to a funny test to see if you’re a leftist. Here’s my favorite quote: "You believe President Bush is too dumb to be President and Arnold Schwarzenegger is too dumb to be Governor of California, but the Dixie Chicks, Martin Sheen, Alec Baldwin, Barbra Streisand, Eddie Vedder and Jeanine Garofalo are qualified to discourse at length on foreign policy."

    Hockey lovin’ blogger buddies! If you have to ask, you wouldn’t understand. Go Sharks!

    I love these “xxx things about me/my car/whatever” lists that bloggers do. Really I do. Compile more of them, because I’ll read ‘em.

    Serenity has reached her 6 month anniversary as a blogger.

    Wind Rider pulls a fast one on Bill. It’s mean and funny as hell, but a little sad too. Like teasing the slow kid at school, ya know?

    Starhawk has been posting regularly about WiFi hotspots and all. I have a WiFi story I’ll talk about tomorrow.

    I don’t agree with most of what Norbi says, but I don’t have to. That’s the beauty of friends and laughter.

    Glenn is... Glenn. He’s got a viewpoint that’s all his own, as well as weird fetishes for fish and Ivan Drago. He also posts near-naked women pictures and dedicates ‘em to me. Panderer. Works every time.

    John cracked me up with this one. And just below that, another list! I’m doing the happy dance.

    Kelley did not do the Cul-de-Sac last week, but promises one on Sunday. That’s ok though, because she’s headed to Hawaii to visit with Kate of Electric Venom. I look terrible in green.

    Tiger points the way to the Hokey Pokey as done by Shakespeare. Good one Cherry.

    Meet Al. Al’s in the Air Force. Al’s learning to fly AWACS. He already knows how to fly. Not fly by himself. Fly airplanes. The AWACS is an airplane. Why can’t he fly that then? If I knew that, I’d still be in the Air Force.

    I’m going to finish up with one of the best posts I’ve read in a long time. If you haven’t already read about the Indepundit (aka LT Smash) having to fire someone, you should now. Seriously.

    Posted by Ted at 07:44 PM | Comments (1)

    October 08, 2003

    A Study of the Effects of Celery on Loose Elastic

    I don't remember where I first heard it, but the name Art Frahm always stuck in my mind, so I suspect it was in some sleazy True Detective magazine or some such nonsense I used to read as a kid. In truth it was his illustrations more than the name that caught my attention. Looking at it now, his work seems pointed directly at every young man raging through puberty. It's the stuff of adolescent (wet) dreams. It also helped that his name seems absurdly contrived to match his occupation.

    Several years ago, I did an internet search for Art Frahm and found this site. This was long before I'd heard of James Lileks the writer or blogging.

    You can find more of Art Frahm's work here, along with a little more history. It's still cheesy and crappy and wonderful all at once, just like I remembered. Have fun.

    Posted by Ted at 10:10 PM | Comments (0)

    October 07, 2003

    Line drive into the gap

    "Why can't this team just lose? Why do they have to write the greatest chapters in the history books of other teams? Stupid Angels. I mean, Marlins."

    It's a San Fransisco Giants blog, but it's fun to read if you're a baseball fan.

    Posted by Ted at 03:09 PM | Comments (1)

    October 03, 2003

    Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

    The Day the Earth Stood Still is on right now. One of my all time favorites, and the first movie to use the phrase 'Klaatu Barada Nicto'. Do you know what the second was?

    Ready for some great flash animation? An official Huffington production. Priceless!

    Also, this from one of the lesser known California candidates. Does the name Abner Zurd mean anything to you? Thanks to Jockularocracy for the pointers to both of these.

    Incommunicado is handing out a new sportscaster award. McCarvers, for inane and stupid commentary.

    Laugh therapy, from Across the Atlantic.

    Staying in the humorous vein, Mr. Helpful has a new series, Adventures of Bionic Dick.

    This one made me laugh! Good one John. Maybe now my boss will see my point...

    Cherry has an excellent explanation of moon orbit dynamics and the end of the dinosaurs.

    Jon over at Q and O notes that Hillary gets her first international endorsement to be US President.

    Paul writes a touching story about a town, a boy, and a mailbox. Keep the tissues handy.

    I read Serenity every day, but Serenity is to serene like I am to terse.

    Tasberry is an edgy slice-of-life blogger. She's also donated a pic of her self-described 'choco-rockets' to the boobie-thon, as well as some cash. Have you?

    Meanwhile, Tiger holds a little contest of his own alongside the boobie-thon. The winner? The -thon, now $60 richer thanks to Tiger.

    Tink fantasizes about straight single massage therapists, but settles for hot Krispy Kreme donuts. From a hetero point of view, I think she made the right choice.

    You know when Pixy starts talking computer-tech and tosses around acronyms and terms that nobody understands? Well, Nic does the same thing about grammer. She must grind her teeth when she reads my blog, because for me 'creative writing' means I take liberties with words, spelling, grammer and everything else. Victor, if she wakes up screaming with nightmares, she's dreaming of me. Hah!

    Are you a hockey fan? So are these guys... which reminds me. I need to check my fantasy hockey roster.
    Update: draft not held yet.

    Flea talks about the Chesapeake Mill. There is a restoration project underway to save this historic British building built from the timbers of the American Frigate Chesapeak, captured during the War of 1812.

    Wind Rider bids a fond farewell to the Concorde.

    Wanna beat on something? How about Ken Brashears virtual drum kit? Have fun! Kudos to the Ministry of Minor Perfidy for this one.

    Look for a special photo caption contest tomorrow. Kevin of Wizbang did it firstest and bestest, but you'll want to check this one out.

    Posted by Ted at 09:05 PM | Comments (2)

    Put your money where your mouth will be

    From their website:
    "The purpose of the Long Bets foundation is to improve long-term thinking.

    Long Bets is a public arena for enjoyably competitive predictions, of interest to society, with philanthropic money at stake. The foundation furnishes the continuity to see even the longest bets through to public resolution. This website provides a forum for discussion about what may be learned from the bets and their eventual outcomes."

    This is a fascinating concept. The basic idea is that you make a prediction that you think will come true some time in the future (2+ years), and your reasoning behind the prediction. Others bet against you, and explain why they disagree.

    Bets may be time limited, such as "In a Google search of five keywords or phrases representing the top five news stories of 2007, weblogs will rank higher than the New York Times' Web site.". They can also be open-ended, as in "The first discovery of extraterrestrial life will be someplace other than on a planet or on a satellite of a planet."

    Charities are designated by each bettor, and when a winner is determined the charity is given the money (plus interest).

    Discussion is encouraged. You really should check this out.

    Posted by Ted at 11:10 AM | Comments (0)

    October 01, 2003

    Ejection over the Suburbs

    Bill Whittle of Eject! Eject! Eject! has his newest essay posted. Power.

    It's hump day people and you might be looking for new and interesting stuff to read. May I suggest the Cul-de-sac, courtesy of Kelley at Suburban Blight?

    Posted by Ted at 12:08 PM | Comments (0)

    September 30, 2003

    Busy, busy, busy

    The first of the month is always the busiest day for me, and when it happens on a wednesday it just doubles the workload. Guess what tomorrow is? I also picked up a new end-of-the-month task, and I have to go into D.C. tomorrow for half a day, so things are going to be hectic in real time.

    (Translation: if blogging sucks, blame anything and everything else.)

    By the way, thank you for the long list of words for the next Google Junket. I really don't like to whine like that, but it works for Bill, so I figured I'd give it a try. Bill's not home right now, anyone care to take bets that's he lying in a gutter drunk with Collins?

    Some out-of-the-way stuff for your reading pleasure:

    King of Fools won this weeks New Blog Showcase. Excellent article.

    Backstage writes about kitties and theater (theatre for you uppity types), which pleases Jennifer and Mookie.

    Mookie also claims that my (alleged) jokes just come across as snotty. True? I don't think I have the charm to pull that off like Bill.

    Casual Brain Rotting, courtesy of Random Nuclear Strikes.

    Hold The Mayo - the truth served plain. Yum.

    (aside: If Laughing Wolf ever invites you over for dinner, be fashionably late. He likes flava fava beans. [doh!])

    Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, The Ministry of Minor Perfidy. Where "evil isn't just our hobby, it's our job."

    Enjoy your roasted stomach, infidel. Or maybe the pain is from laughing hysterically because Allah is in the house.

    I'm a gardener. Much like Samwise to Frodo, I am to, uh... someone else. Ok, maybe not. But the point I'm trying to get to here (the looooong way around), is to go visit Starhawk. He posts beautiful pictures of cool growing things in his garden. He's also a WiFi wizard. What's WiFi?

    Victor thanks everyone for remembering his birthday. He's made mention (repeatedly) that he's younger than I am, yet he can't remember telling anyone when his birthday was. Victor, when you're asking the doctor about Rogaine and Viagra, better check into the memory pills too.

    Hmmm... that was testy, eh John?

    Posted by Ted at 02:20 PM | Comments (2)

    September 26, 2003

    Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

    Short and sweet, you should check the following out:

    Shooters Carnival, firearm information without the politics.

    Sports Blog. The name says it all.

    Despite what the media is telling us, things are going pretty good in Iraq. There's a new effort being put together on the internet called Frontline Voices, which will let the troops actually there tell their stories. Watch for the link, I'll announce it when it officially kicks off.

    Chief Wiggles is in Iraq, and an encounter he had with a young child inspired him to begin a toy drive. Read about it and please, if you can, help out.

    Completely changing gears here, LeeAnn tells about what it's like to like on Sesame Diablo Street.

    The Flea talks about an upcoming Alien vs. Predator movie. In my humble opinion, that's a much better premise than Freddie vs. Jason, but the one I'm really waiting for is Gumby & Pokey vs. Davey & Goliath.

    I saw this exhchange over at Caught in the XFire.
    Stevie: Stupid damn plastic ass-bitin' chicken-livered monkey-lipped brainless dickless sack 'o poop computer.
    To which Pixy helpfully replied: Hey, that's the same model I've got!
    Priceless.

    Paul is sharing his wisdom on dating. There's pearls there among the laughs.

    At Velociworld, we get the rundown on public washroom habits. Very funny stuff, and no, I’m not shaking his hand. He’s got a cool story about Goddard too. That always scores points with me.

    Publicola is one of the good guys. I love this bit:

    Of course it'd be cool if the producers of Cops & similar shows allowed me to just insert commentary over an episode or two for perspective. Instead of people seeing a police officer frisking a guy for everybody's safety that he/she stopped to ask some questions, you'd see the images along with a quick recitation of the 2nd, 4th & 5th amendments followed by an explanation of why the cop just threw some of the highest ideals of the framers out the window because that's what they taught him/her at the acedemy.

    But my dream would be to feature the BATF. Then again a cursory glance would probably make people think they were watching a bad juxtaposition of F-Troop, Hogan's Heroes & 1984.

    How can you not love this guy?

    Those who don’t learn history are doomed to be California Republicans.

    An emergency 911 call can be incredibly stressful. Or stupid, depending on who's making the call.

    I keep telling you to go over to Random Nuclear Strikes. Do you listen to me? Now they've got froot-loop trolls entertaining them.

    Stupidity of television programming? Surely you jest.

    Kate warns of the dangers of rampant random altruism. Hey, it was faith-based. Does that make a difference?

    She also offers up a site that will make you burn in hell if you visit. Really, don't go there. If you do, I'll save you a seat.

    I saved the coolest for last. Megan points the way to a virtual apartment building, where you can design and add your own place. No excuses now for the virtually homeless, or something like that.

    Posted by Ted at 08:09 AM | Comments (0)

    September 25, 2003

    Insert favorite song title about 'time' here

    Over at Coyote's Bark, Terry points out a cool little flash clock.

    Which got me to wondering about what else might be out there in Google-land. Wanna see what I found?

    Here's a neat variation of the digital clock we all hate in the morning.

    I really really really like this one, in a manic where-is-my-ritalin sorta way.

    This concept appeals to the art lover in me. (bandwidth alert) Click on the ‘clock’ icon at the top, then ‘set’ your time, the clock updates once a minute.

    I'm not a chrono-snob, here's something for those who must measure elapsed time.

    Now here are a couple of overlapping collections of wallpaper clocks, the flash ones are kinda interesting. This one is my favorite of the bunch.

    Once again, just to prove that you can find damn near anything on the internet, here's an interesting little collection of BBC clocks and flash cards.

    Right, that last one wasn't quite on-topic. Oh well.

    Posted by Ted at 09:55 AM | Comments (1)

    September 22, 2003

    Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

    Good morning everyone! Let's jump right into it, eh?

    I’ve been misspelling Kelley’s name now for a while, and she’s been kind enough not to have someone come by and break my kneecaps. Visit her at Suburban Blight, because she’s nice and her Cul-de-sac rocks.

    Meanwhile, Kevin at Wizbang! survived Isabel while posting away despite losing power. That's dedication. In addition to that, he's always available to help people like me with technical problems. Check out the new in-line trackback ping-o-rama bling-bling at the end of my posts (those are my words, I'm sure Kevin would know the technical terms). Thanks Susie and Jen for pointing me at this.

    Kevin also points to the story of the guards at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. Honorable men like this are why we are free.

    Post-Isabel pictures from Victor and Nic.

    What do Wesley Clark and the Magic 8-ball have in common? Rattle their liquid-filled domes, and a random answer pops out. Read all about it at Jockularocracy.

    Daniel expands upon the concept of moral relativism, and gets my vote for his entry in the New Blog Showcase. According to that concept, just because the other entrants exist, doesn't mean they're worth a crap, or something like that. I just skimmed the article, because it's full of big words.

    Not Quite Tea and Crumpets shows another example of political correctness gone wild. No wonder our education system is all N’d up.

    Rocket Man talks about ‘A Formidable Military Force’. Take his little quiz. You’ll learn something. I guarantee it. In case I'm not clear about this, I think this is a must-read. Why must I hint?

    This guy is snotty and vicious, which is everything I like in recreational reading.

    Megan, meet Tim. Tim, Megan. Two very good bloggers who happen to be devout Christians. Which reminds me of a t-shirt I saw once that said: "Be a Christian. Take a lion to lunch." Hey, I laughed.

    Glenn over at Hi. I’m Black! is considering selling t-shirts. Pretty funny stuff, and make sure you read the comments. Unfortunately, when I tried to order one, he said I could never be considered an honorary black. That's why I used 'bling-bling' up above, I'm trying to build my street cred.

    Harvey comes awful close to causing me to become curt with him by using a picture of my dog in his war of lies and propaganda. Note that my dog is an innocent bystander. Also note that it takes some doing to make me get curt. Unless you’re Mookie, in which case I can go from zero to “you’re grounded” in seconds.

    Sanity’s Edge pointed out this endearing little screed. Thanks Paul! The last line is a classic. "...there's a reason why there are hundreds of statues of Charles Darwin and none of River Phoenix."

    I forgot to thank Pixy Misa for his technical expertise. He keeps things running smoothly around Munuviana.

    Finally, a quick tour of the weird. Mookie presents us with viking kitties. That's right, she wants to take us to a Gay Bar. This cracks me up every time.

    Over at The Cheese Stands Alone, LeeAnn always seems to find the sublime. From the mildly odd to the entertainingly depressed, you owe it to your analyst to go visit.

    Stevie, I reminded Mookie to get with you about your PC sounds. If she hasn’t contacted you yet, get ornery with her. I recommend grounding her, it does wonders for her cooperation and attitude.

    Speaking of. FREE MOOKIE! Like Susie says, consistancy is for wimps.

    Wow. I just realized that I used the following in a single post: moral relativism, Darwin, magic 8-ball, devout Christian, bling-bling, formidable military force, and street cred. Google is gonna turn up some interesting hits in the weeks to come.

    Posted by Ted at 07:35 AM | Comments (6)

    September 19, 2003

    Time for a little levity

    I've told you before, and I'll tell you again: Go read the flea!

    An Oxford museum has paid 240,000 pounds for a Renaissance plate which shows a male head made up entirely of phalluses.

    The head is framed by a garland carrying the inscription: "Ogni homo me guarda come fosse una testa de cazi" (Every man looks at me as if I were a dickhead).

    Archeology means intelligent ladies in khaki and glasses. Mmmmmmm. And no, I'm not talking about Lara Croft. Try the History or Discovery channels once in a while.

    Meanwhile, over at Bad State of Gruntledness, Matt points the way to my new number 1 on the Christmas List. Hockey Lego!!! Matt and Victor, I'm in a (free) Fantasy Hockey League and last time I checked they need more teams... interested?

    More later. Gotta go get ready for the dentist. Boy, that's a phrase I never thought I'd say so cheerfully.

    Posted by Ted at 11:08 AM | Comments (3)

    September 18, 2003

    Just because I want them dead doesn't mean I don't like them

    I had mentioned over at Serenity's that she needed a Spider Frame. It's really a neat little idea, and a perfect point of interest in the garden. Easy to make too.

    While you're at it, try some of these other variations for your garden residents. A butterfly house can be very cool. There are simple plans here to build your own.

    And if you really want to keep the mosquitos down, how about one of these? The bathouse shown at the link looks to be more elaborate than is really necessary, but the extras look functional.

    Just to be conventional, here's a simple birdhouse plan. The key to a successful birdhouse is the size of the opening and the interior space. Ours followed this basic plan, with just a few variations.

    First, our lid was solid instead of hinged, and provided an overhang on both sides as well as the front. Under the eaves were small ventilation holes.

    Second, on our house, the bottom was screwed on with small drywall screws. They're self-tapping, and removing the bottom allows you to clean out the old nest during the late winter or early spring. It's a good idea to cut a couple of drainage holes in the bottom too.

    Third, and this was the most fun for us, was we cut two windows in the sides of the birdhouse. What I mean is, most of the two opposite sides were made of clear plexiglass, so that you could see what was going on inside the house. The birds don't mind. You can get scrap plexiglass cheap at the hardware store.

    Here's another simple birdhouse plan. You can use plain pine board, not redwood or cedar, but stain the outside to protect it. Never use pressure treated wood.

    Our birdhouse lasted five or six years, and all we really did was clean it out every spring and hit the outside with a coat of redwood stain every few years. We had birds every year.

    In the springtime, if we give the dogs a haircut, we'll take the trimmings out back and put them on the ground. The local birds will find the hair and incorporate it into their nests as padding. Little scraps of cloth and yarn work well too.

    Posted by Ted at 10:27 PM | Comments (0)

    September 16, 2003

    Rocketing Around the Blogosphere

    I can't talk much, but I can type.

    Over at Ambient Irony, Pixy Misa talks about his nephew’s second birthday and how kids today soak up technology without even trying. He has some interesting insights.

    Susie discovers yet another odd characteristic she shares with Instapundit. As much as she tries to hide it, I think there’s an attraction there. Worst kept secret in the world there, Susie.

    Jennifer treats everyone to a historical briefing on herself. I can relate to the whole spider thing, but she’s, well... you know, from Wisconsin. Doesn’t that mean you have to wear frozen wedges of cheese on your head and sit in snowstorms to watch football? That goes beyond eccentric and into the scary.

    Tuning Spork of Blather Review has a bit of a keyboard problem, which he manages to relate in the modern version of pidgin english. Meanwhile, Stevie seems to be having other-than-keyboard troubles.

    “Life is tough. It’s tougher if you’re stupid.” Cherry relates several funny stories about people having a stupid tough time.

    Victor and his girlfriend went to see the stage production of one of his favorite movies. He also makes it clear that he’s not a Steve Spurrier fan. He also had several rat birthdays this month. Our cup runneth over.

    Mookie is doing a poll to select her new header graphic. She’s a nut for the Geico gecko (I have no idea why), and one of her fashion statements is a pair of these huge nuts – as in ‘nuts and bolts’ that she wears on a chain around her neck. She is so much her own person.

    It’s ‘sit by the phone day’ over at Chez Cheese.

    The little one is getting ready for hurricane Isabel. So are we. For some reason, this one is beginning to scare me. Might have something to do with it being my first hurricane. My wife went through Agnes back in the 70’s (she was a little kid), but I’m a west coast boy and I grew up with earthquakes that last a few minutes, not storms the size of Colorado.

    Fellow Munuvian Daniel had a good weekend for his fantasy football team. He’s also featured in this weeks New Blog Showcase over on The Truth Laid Bear. Link to his entry, because he makes some great points in his article. Or link to him because, like myself, people will say “Wow, Ted must be smart to read such intelligent stuff”. Just make sure you hide the comic books when they’re around.

    Mr. Green has a life.

    Alphecca is one blog that I try to read every day. Jeff has interesting things to say, and he’s a helluva writer. He’s also part of a group of firearm enthusiasts who’ve started the Shooters Carnival. If you don’t already, you should stop by Alphecca and catch up with Jeff. Also, check out the Carnival, regardless of your personal position regarding guns. Without educating yourself about the subject, how can you have an informed opinion, eh?

    Wanna get controversial? Dean Esmay, Average White Guy and Tasberry all take a look at aspects of racism, each in their own style.

    Starhawk over at Freedom Lives has done a redesign of his site. I like it a lot!

    A is a hockey fan. Enjoy Owen Nolan, he’s fun to have on your team.

    I’ve mentioned this before, when grieving families decide to go for the bucks. Publicola shows the perfect example, where the family admits that they’d get nothing from the killers – who are in prison – so they go after the gun store where the guns were stolen from and two burglar alarm companies.

    Paul is having staff problems. Is there a fact-checker in the house? Experience preferred. I'd suggest introducing yourself to his wife at the earliest opportunity to avoid embarrassment in case anyone is miked.

    Serenity has completed her trek to Houston. Safe and sound. Read her trip report, it reminds me of a few cross-country drives I made when I was young and foolish.

    The guys at Silent Running talk about a danger that we can’t detect and can’t defend against, coming at us from the stars themselves. A cosmic fart of the ‘silent but deadly’ variety.

    John has summed up this summer nicely with this cartoon. My backyard has stayed wet enough to grow moss on the stepping stones.

    I’ve seen references to this (thanks Kelly among others), and haven’t paid it much mind. But with Isabel looming large, it’s beginning to seem like a damn fine time to cut loose and get a little silly before we have to get very serious. I’ll be on the widows-walk with me spyglass. Aye, there the beastie be!

    Tiger redecorated. I know that everyone sees these pages a little differently depending on browser version and stuff, so take this for what it’s worth (absolutely nothing). I don’t like the new format, and apparently I'm alone in that opinion. On my machine, it’s just hard to read. I’ll give it a try at work over lunch, that might make all the difference in the world.

    Al reminds us that it’s National POW/MIA Awareness Week. For more information, I’d suggest contacting your local American Legion or VFW post.

    Oh yeah, I changed the name of my “Links Roster” category to “All the cool people and places”. Mainly because that way it’s almost at the top of my category list, and easier to find. Since I use that list more than my blogroll to get around, I’ll point you to a few blogs that I’ve been enjoying recently:

    Terra Taco makes me think. Always a good thing. Rocketman also makes me think. Still a good thing. And he’s moved too (note to self: update his link). And these guys make me hungry. Never a bad thing. Enjoy.

    Posted by Ted at 10:57 AM | Comments (6)

    National Archives News

    I saw a story on the news this morning about the reopening of the National Archives exhibit of the US Constitution, Declaration of Independance and Bill of Rights in Washington DC. They’re doing a ‘citizens poll’ to select the 10 most important documents in American History. Read about it, and vote online, here. Now I’m annoyed, because I can’t find a link to it online, even from the news channel I saw the story on.

    While googling for the 'poll' site mentioned above, I ran across this one at Liberty Story. I haven’t dug deeply into it yet, but it appears to be something worth spending time on. As an aside, I had the chance to view the original Magna Carta in Boston several years ago. It amazes me that simple ink and paper can become so awe-inspiring.

    And here's another online archive site worth looking into, if you're into history.

    Posted by Ted at 10:49 AM | Comments (1)

    September 13, 2003

    Get thee away temptress!

    I always wanted to write that. Speaking that would be another matter, because if the situation ever did come up, I'd cave in nothing flat and give in to temptation. Just something for my lovely lady visitors to mentally file away.

    While I'm waiting in vain, here's a handful of eye candy. Some are educational, one is for two people to play with. Some of these use Java or Flash, so if they don’t work for you, oh well. Many of these are tiny little things and should load quickly. Have fun.

    This is one of my all-time favorite sites on the web. I know Serentity is a science nut, so she'll especially enjoy this.

    Balls. A hypnotic little time-waster.

    More cool graphics stuff to watch.

    Tres cool! Roll over the squares with your mouse and watch the fun.

    Enjoy this little charmer.

    Try this interactive guide to distances in the solar system and feel really really small. Use the scroll bar on the side of the screen to truly appreciate this one.

    Tanks for the memories. I know, I know. Pretend it's me in the other one and take revenge for the rotten pun.

    Nifty little kaleidoscope.

    And lastly, I don’t care what you think, this one is kinda creeps me out.

    Posted by Ted at 03:36 PM | Comments (1)

    Secret Agent Man

    "They've given you a number, and taken away your name."

    Sorry. Old song, recently redone I think. They're everywhere nowadays, but what the heck are they saying? It's like some super secret code or something.

    More than you've ever wanted to know about UPC's and barcodes. Well, maybe not. Gotta run, my shoe is ringing.

    Posted by Ted at 08:41 AM | Comments (0)

    September 09, 2003

    New Twenties

    The redesigned twenty dollar bills will be coming into wide circulation in October this year. Here's a neat interactive demonstration of the features of this new bill.

    What, no free samples?

    Posted by Ted at 01:29 PM | Comments (2)

    Google is your friend

    In Kelly’s Cul-de-sac this week is a little gem about a little known feature of Google. I mentioned it to Mookie, and she told me about a nifty Google mirror site she’d heard about.

    Google also changes their logo for special holidays and birthdays. M.C. Escher, Alfred Hitchcock, and Salvador Dali are among those who get special treatment.

    This got me to wondering what other stupid Google tricks were out there. You’ve probably heard of most of these by now, because they’re not new and have been going around awhile.

    For instance, type in “weapons of mass destruction” (with quotes) and hit the “I’m feeling lucky” button.

    Try it again, this time for “French military victories” (with quotes). Snicker

    For the terminally optimistic, try “who will be president in 2004” and hit the 'Lucky' button.

    These guys tried a few things with the image search feature of google. (Warning: mature – but funny – content).

    On the ‘not stupid’ end of the tricks spectrum, check out some of the neat stuff listed here.

    And it was mentioned on at least one site above, but were you paying attention? Go to google and type in “answer to life the universe and everything” (no quotes this time).

    I'll say it again. Google is your friend.


    Posted by Ted at 08:51 AM | Comments (4)

    September 08, 2003

    Rocketing around the Blogosphere

    Not Quite Tea and Crumpets had the scoop on this story. A perfect example of what happens when firearms are used by law-abiding citizens.

    Wind Rider over at Silent Running talks about the difference between journalism and 'professional' journalism. Hint: the sarcasm quotes are because he's talking about the BBC.

    John gets asked that question that no man can ever answer correctly.

    Tiger redecorates and talks about Texas football. Living in the DC metro area, the Redskins play the Cowboys twice a year, and I hate don't care for either team. I used to say that when those teams played each other, I was rooting for a sniper in the stands. Thanks Malvo for ruining a good joke.

    Fixing the State Department. Interesting reading by Steven Den Beste over at USS Clueless, who is anything but.

    Choices. What matters vs. what should matter. Read all about it and think, courtesy of Winds of Change.

    This guy always has something interesting to read.

    Men of Iron, Horses of Steel. These guys have become a daily read.

    Laughing Wolf gives a concise brief on the Presidents remarks last night.

    I don't agree with a lot of what she says, but she's an interesting read, and her school football team is named the Rockets, so she gets a mention.

    Robert touches on many subjects and is always a good read. He's about as calm a rant as you can imagine, while still putting it out there for you.

    If you're looking for some of these folks over on the right in my links section, they're not all there. If you check under "Poor Organization Skills" you'll see a category called Links Roster, and they're all there, plus many more. The format is still weirded out, because I rode the short bus to html school.

    When you hear about Munuviana and Munuvians, do you hear the roar of the surf shooshing up over white sand beaches, while beautiful women in grass skirts and not much else bring you cold beer and cater to your every whim? Welcome to reality. Susie, Jennifer, Cherry and LeeAnn are liberated women, so we can go get our own damn beer, I'm sure. And Mookie is underage, so don't go there. I also have no desire to see the guys in grass skirts, although I'm sure Collins would enjoy it, as long as he got to wear panty hose like his hero.

    Tuning Spork (a Munuvian) has written a great piece of satire (oops, now he's written two!). Funny stuff.

    Ever heard of Burning Man? Coyote went. See his pictures, then google on it to learn more. Thanks to Annika for the pointer.

    He's been described as an "eclectic cultural cuisinart", and the flea is where I go for something extraordinary. Enjoy.

    Over at The Meatriarchy, "A" comes out squarely for the Instapundit camp.

    Posted by Ted at 01:17 AM | Comments (4)

    September 05, 2003

    Animated Atlas

    This is a cool little site showing the growth of the U.S.A. It takes about 10 minutes, and it's worth the time. Enjoy!

    Posted by Ted at 10:43 PM | Comments (0)

    September 04, 2003

    Thoughts($Randomize(0))

    If I could only listen to one kind of music for the rest of my life, I'd have to seriously consider Big Band.

    My wife and I have 'our song'. It's You Make Me So Very Happy by Blood, Sweat & Tears. I also want And When I Die by the same group played at my funeral. Not the crappy shortened version they play on the radio, but the original version. Bruce Lee had that song played at his funeral too, but that has nothing to do with me.

    I like Blood, Sweat & Tears (obviously), but they're not in my favorite 10 groups, maybe not the top 20.

    With all the animal posts I've made lately, I've considered changing the name of this blog to 'Channeling Jane Goodall'. That would also annoy monkey-boy, and I'm petty enough to enjoy it.

    Names are important to me, although I'm terrible about remembering them. I always make an effort to pronounce them correctly, which can be a real bear with some foreign names. I worked with a Chinese lady once, and everyone called her 'Sue' as an approximation of her real name. I tried real hard to correctly say her name, but always worried that I was really calling her 'suitcase tractor' or something.

    She taught me some elementary Chinese writing. I taught her to swear in English.

    The politically correct would call my wife 'vertically challenged'. They would call me 'circumferentially overachieving'.

    Tip for guys: If you get sent to the store to pick up feminine pads for your lady, rather than standing there bewildered at the vast selection, just get the package with the most words on it. 'Super-maxi overnight extended-wear with wings' should be your starting point. They now put picture codes on the packages, but you'll feel like an idiot asking the clerk for the ones with the sunflower. Count words, it works.

    The Phoenix Coyotes unveiled a new logo and color scheme. I like it a lot. I liked their old one too, but this one is simpler and better. I think sports logos have gotten better in recent years. The San Jose Sharks logo is inspired and the logo for the Minnesota Wild is just too cool. You can go overboard with logo modifications and color changes, and the Atlanta Falcons are the perfect example of that. It seems like they've changed things up 4 or 5 times in 10 years.

    I've gotten speeding tickets in three countries.

    'A' claims I've taken umbrage to the use of an initial instead of his whole name, but I hadn't considered the Canadian connection. It makes sense, no umbrage taken. I think he just wanted to show off his vocabulary. If you want further examples of that bad habit, read everything I've ever written.

    Tim has changed his name from The Michigander to Stranger in a Strange Land. If I were 'A', I'd hunt down Tim and give him a Great White North whooping for calling my land strange.

    Closer to home, Victor is making fun of Yuppie Scum. This despite the fact that he went to an organic grocery store to buy dandelion greens for his guinea pigs (which are rodents by the way, but I won't go there). Once, while watching a family pile out of an SUV, a friend cracked me up by referring to the children as 'yuppie larva'. I still use that term.

    To be honest, I don't really care what happens in California -- this is all just some sideshow the rest of us can view with amusement. -- Jeff at Alphecca

    I admit that I've looked at the California election in the exact same way, but Annika makes some points in this excellent post about why we should care and pay attention. She's changed my mind.

    She also reminds us that California has the worlds 5th largest economy. But did you know that North Dakota has the worlds 3rd largest nuclear force?

    My desk at work in inside a cage. Honest. It might impress you if I said what else was inside the cage, but I can't tell you. So just be impressed.

    Tiger and Stevie have both had computer problems, while SilverBlue has had computer user problems, which can be much worse.

    In other work-related news, they've been installing a new 'disintegrator' in the building. This is like a super-shredder that eats metal like paper, and it's a huge hulking thing about 20 feet tall with a conveyor belt that leads up into its maw. Ominous looking. Every time I look at it, I think of 'The Mangler' from Stephen King's Night Shift.

    Wake up, I'm done.

    Posted by Ted at 08:01 AM | Comments (3)

    September 02, 2003

    Monday Miscellania

    Oops, that was supposed to be 'Rocketing Around the Blogosphere', wasn't it. Oh well, I spent time figuring out how to spell 'miscellania', so it stays (is that even a real word?).

    Go visit SportsBlog. Kevin of Wizbang! will appreciate it (he’s one of the founders), and yours truly will be writing incisive and biting commentary on the San Francisco Giants, Oakland Raiders, and San Jose Sharks. Assuming, of course, that the sources I steal from are incisive and biting.

    The Dodgers suck.

    Speaking of the Dodgers, I’m sure that Annika will be visiting Chavez Ravine at some point. I hope that she wears her black and orange proudly, or at the very least, doesn’t go wearing Dodger blue (there are limits to acclimating to an environment, ya know). Anyways, I found this helpful and humorous guide to behavior at the ballpark. I’m sure it applies to some degree to most every stadium.

    Tiger points to an excellent (and entertaining) usage of massive amounts of bandwidth. Mookie will like it, it’s got stick people in it! Also Susie gets a little crazy with slogans and battle cries! Scroll through to see them all, although my personal favorite has her clutching a thorned whip as she shouts:

    "I'm going to spank you in such an unsafe manner, you will wake up from the Matrix!!!"

    I bet Susie doesn’t have many problems with noisy kids in the theater.

    Serenity points to a brilliant yet disturbing series of little movies (another bandwidth-intensive link folks).

    Over at The Meatriarchy, ‘A’ gives a mouth-watering review of BBQ ribs he sampled at a weekend rib-fest. Makes me wanna fire up the grill. Oh, and 'A', there's no way I'm going to believe that's your real name, so you might as well give up the charade.

    Star Trek. Jerry Springer. Combine them and you get 'Wild Sex Partners From Outer Space'. Courtesy of Mr. Helpful, who promises this next installment of his Shatner Chronicles tomorrow morning.

    Kate has the Snark Hunt up this week, and I’m in it. See me at my worst, in a totally roundabout way: go to her site, scroll down to the Snark Hunt, find where she links my entry, then click it to get right back here (well, actually it’s down below a ways, which you would’ve known had you actually read it the first time). See? Pure unadulterated snark.

    Finally…

    Mookie and I had a moment yesterday. I’m surprised occasionally by something she does, not because it’s smart or dumb or good or bad, but because it’s part of her character that I don’t see very often.

    She’s always said she hates earthworms (and squirmy things in general, what a girl), and my attitude has always been ‘pick the stupid thing up and throw it in the garden’. Which she does with great reluctance.

    Yesterday we went out back to clean straighten up in between waves of thunderstorms. I was turning my compost pile and mentioned that there were a lot of earthworms in it, which is a very good thing. Rachael did her gag routine.

    Since the work went quickly, I decided that we’d go ahead and relevel the shed. I put it in this spring, and despite some care the base settled unevenly, making the doors hard to open and close. It’s one of those plastic types that you snap together, not too big, but you need at least two people to move it.

    We emptied the shed (garden tools, lawn mower, shovels and rakes, potting soil and such, etc.), and started to move it. As I shifted it, something ran out from underneath it and out the back gate. My split-second glimpse left the impression of a white shape moving fast. I thought it was a lizard, although the white color confused me. It was too small to be a rat, and too thin to be a mouse I think. So Mookie and I get this shed moved out of the way enough to relevel the brick base and there are... babies... uncovered.

    Maybe 2” long, pink and hairless, not more than a day or two old, their eyes were not even open yet. They squirmed and kicked a little, but were too young to do much more. Definitely rodent, but unidentifiable as rat or mouse or vole or anything else. Rachael didn’t want anything to do with them, so I gently scooped them into a shovel and took them back to the creek* behind the house where I left them in the underbrush.

    They’re dead by now, I’m sure. Snake or cat or exposure or neglect, because ‘momma’ was not coming back, that was certain. I feel a little weird about it, because I do believe that life is precious, but like they say, ‘nature is a mother’ and they weren’t looking at a long life anyways (especially in my backyard). Everyone reading this should realize that in the grand scheme of things, each of us is a big winner in the cosmic-lotto powerball game.

    Two things: first, I’ll have to pour a solid concrete pad under the shed to keep the local fauna from nesting underneath. Maybe next weekend.

    Secondly, this is going to bother me for a while.

    *Creek is pronounced ‘crick’ as any native northern Californian knows. Don’t argue with me, because you’re wrong.

    Update: Here are a couple more places to go and people to see, just because they're cool and/or interesting.

    (bandwidth warning) Watch a sketch being done right in front of your eyes. Cool (said that already, didn't I)

    50 Things al Qaeda Hates about America.

    And some stuff you might not have known about the history of our Social Security system. (He's a real rocket scientist too)

    Posted by Ted at 08:53 AM | Comments (6)

    August 31, 2003

    Greatest Guitarists Of All Time

    Rolling Stone published their list of all-time greats. As with any such list, you have to wonder what they were thinking with some choices (or what they were smoking, it is Rolling Stone dont'cha know). I'd be interested to know exactly what criteria they had in mind when they made their rankings.

    Link via Dean Esmay.

    Posted by Ted at 08:43 PM | Comments (8)

    August 30, 2003

    "...Brilliant...Addictive..."

    In an effort to bring you all things 'rocket', here's a downloadable game that's been recommended to me. I'm not much of a PC game player, but I've seen similar stuff, and it looks like fun.

    Posted by Ted at 03:04 PM | Comments (0)

    August 27, 2003

    Catchy Title Needed

    I need a snazzy name for these rambling link-filled muse-o-rama's. C'mon peoples, gimme a hand here. I thought maybe "Around the Horn", but that's already used by a loser of a sports show. I also thought of "Link-o-rama" (lame), "The Melange" (sounds medically undesirable), or "Best Links on the Net" (delusional). Think about it.

    Mookie is afk for the next day or so. She’s visiting her best friend, who moved about an hour south of us last year. They bought a few acres and built one of those log houses, doing most of the interior work themselves. Mookie spent many a weekend there helping out, framing walls and perfecting basic carpentry skills. They’ve worked their butts off doing it, and it shows, because the place is beautiful.

    But Mookie and her best bud don’t get to see each other nearly enough because of the distance, so we took her down there Sunday so they could spend some time together before school started. Which also means that mom and I are child-free for a few days. Heaven!!!

    Oooo, another bug story… this morning as I was getting into my truck I noticed something stuck in the rear window. It was still dark so I couldn’t see it real well, but the first impressions I got were ‘brown’ and ‘leaf’ and then something about the shape… I pulled the flashlight out of my lunchbag and took a closer look and it was a big ol’ moth. Yep, it was a mottled brown, and the wingspan was bigger than my palm. Kinda neat, if you’re into moths. I left him alone, because I'm a nice guy.

    At this point, someone is thinking ‘flashlight out of my lunchbag’? (humor me) What kind of idiot does that? Short answer: guys do. I always carry a mini-mag flashlight in my bag, along with a Leatherman, and I always carry my Swiss Army knife. I notice on the knife page that they’ve reworked the ‘Angler’, which is what I have. Mine is an older version, and has scissors instead of those cheesy pliers, and a Phillips-head screwdriver instead of the corkscrew. I like mine better, in case you’re interested. Everyone, and I’m talking about you ladies too, should carry a knife all the time. It’s just a damn handy tool to have at hand. Try one of these Victorinox Classic (available in pink too), or even a good ol’ fashioned Boy Scout knife.

    Al of You Can Call Me Al (go figure) mentions the movie Momento. He recommends it and I agree. Fair warning though, you’ll never see it on the Lifetime network. The other day I was rummaging through the bargain bins at Wal-Mart, and ran across a two-DVD set of old old old John Wayne movies. These are the one-reel flicks he made as a young man, classic black and white westerns from the 30’s and 40’s. I’m waiting for a rainy weekend podner. I also picked up Altered States, which is best viewed, well, in an altered state.

    Here’s a new blog to check out: Ramblings of an Average White Guy. Robert is looking around and seeing all of the different styles and approaches to blogging, and trying to define his place in it all. Best advice I can give you is; Study Bill. Do the opposite. Bill whines a lot about his inadequacies, which gives him plenty to blog about. That doesn't work for everybody.

    Personally, I keep a little piece of paper with notes and ideas, and I’m usually working on two or three things that need more research done, so I always have something to post. Unless I don’t feel like it, because this is for fun, and I refuse to obsess.

    Welcome, Robert, and remember: PC’s are for people who lack the ability to think big (from one mainframe guy to another).

    In War news, the forces of the evil superhero NetFlix-Man (no link without reciprocity) are still way behind the power curve, with debate heating up about what they shall be named. Weeks ago, I suggested ‘girlie-shirt wearing loser persons’. They should’ve taken my suggestion, because so far, they look to be the blogging equivalent of the U.N.

    Also, I’ve noticed that somewhere along the line the allies of Glenn have been misidentified as the Axis of Evil Naughty. It ain’t true folks! Please keep the carnage tidy, there may be collateral damage civilians about.

    Hey, I haven’t linked to Jennifer in a while. She thinks I’m “totally cool” (note the quote marks), and she’s not afraid to put it in writing. I think we’ve got a date too.

    Victor is discussing beer, hooters, chicken wings, and women’s professional soccer. It’s not nearly as exciting as it sounds.

    Tuning Spork (love that name) talks about Deep Throat not once, but twice! Woohoo! Close your raincoat, ya perv, we’re talking politics here. Good stuff, and interesting to read in the exact same way that Victor’s wasn’t.

    Over at Winds of Change, read Ad Astra, without NASA for an excellent review of the ‘state of the space program’. Lots of good links to supporting information too.

    For the best roundup of blogging links around, go see Kelly at Suburban Blight. Scroll down for the aforementioned Cul-de-sac, because she’s got mucho interesting stuff to say, and it’s worth a leisurely look.

    Tiger gives us a peek into the law, Texas style. No six-gun blazin’ frontier justice here folks, though he does wear a nice tie.

    In my world (which is infinitely more interesting than he-who-shall-not-be-named), life has lately been about my oldest daughter going to school way far away from home. I got to wondering if there were any rocket clubs in the general area of her school, so I did a little research. Lo and behold, within a day I got an email telling me about two local rocket clubs in Michigan, their websites (here and here), and an invitation to join them. I love the people in this hobby!

    Come to think of it, I need a kickass closing line for this thing too.

    Posted by Ted at 11:29 AM | Comments (0)

    August 25, 2003

    Dark corners of the web

    Well, not really. Just a couple of interesting and unusual links for y'all.

    I need a quick show of hands here. How many of you read Soldier of Fortune magazine? Ever? Ok then, who's ordered books from Paladin Press? This company offers some of the most unusual books on the market. Yes, I own more than a couple. I was young and stoopid once, ya know. And they are fun to read (disclaimer: use common sense and don't believe everything you read). Besides, how can you not love a company that has a category called 'Revenge and Humor', eh?

    They claim that this site is wildly popular. Surf around a bit and you realize that it's not nearly popular enough.

    Chainmail bikini's and lingerie. Google is your friend.

    Ever try to assemble something where the instructions were translated into English by a Japanese who wasn't quite fluent in the original German? Welcome to Engrish.com! Featuring Pads of Mousing. Make purchase for Happy Time!

    Posted by Ted at 07:22 AM | Comments (0)

    August 22, 2003

    Blogger Problems et. al.

    ...and I've got some things to say today! Might as well wade in and hope for the best.

    Annika points the way to a story that’s beyond weird. Don’t we have lab animals or something for that?

    This is sweet (graphic-intensive). Thanks to Cherry’s Ramblings for the pointer.

    And to cleanse the palette, Jeff at Alphecca discusses Gephardt.

    Actually, maybe you should've read about Gephardt first, then gone to the sweet stuff to mask that nasty slimy political aftertaste.

    Oh for crying out loud. Why don't you just tie a mattress to your back? Then again, no one will accuse Kin of conducting a half-hearted battle.

    Rachel Lucas announced that she was goint to rent Bowling for Columbine and then review it. We haven’t heard from her since. Would one of our Texas friends please check the local hospitals for attempted suicides. Might want to check with the police too, for attempted homicides. No telling how she reacted, but ‘violent’ is probably somewhere in the description.

    And finally, a quick tour around the War Front:

    They called me “despicable”! Why, thank you, that’s quite kind. I'm taking this in the spirit it's intended, and using it as an opportunity to practice my cartoon impersonations. Tom Tuttle from Tacoma would approve! Furthermore, as a personal reply, I’ve added you to the blogroll over there on the right, and from here on out all references to the Alliance will be pink. (Lucky for you that I’m near-illiterate when it comes to html, or it would be bright pink instead of this black-looking pink you will see from now on. Ha!)

    Bad Money has designed Alliance currency. Now how can you not like a guy who thinks you only need one coin, and that has naked women on both sides! Welcome to the blogroll.

    Next up on our tour of the Alliance is Not Quite Tea and Crumpets. Clever and dastardly. I want to party with this guy.

    Tiger felt a little left out. Sorry my friend, everyone always forgets Switzerland.

    Oh yeah, new tagline.

    Update: Rachel Lucas has posted her review of the movie. Her head didn't explode, but I bet it was a near thing. I'd also like to personally thank her for watching this and telling me about it, so that I don't have to.

    Posted by Ted at 04:42 PM | Comments (1)

    August 20, 2003

    Invitations

    I've been remiss in not inviting any and all to our club rocket launch this weekend. On saturday, from 9am-5pm, west of Manassas, Virginia. Check out the NOVAAR site, directions and a map are available from the main page. If you’re in the area, come check it out. If you’ve got rockets of your own to fly, bring ‘em along. If not, you’re welcome to fly one of ours.

    Mookie is home. I heard about the music situation. My wife let the girls pick out their traveling music, and it was best described as a 'compromise'. Translation: no one was happy with it.

    Thanks to DFMoore for this link. If I have to read Maureen Dowd’s crap, at least I can treat it like a word game and have some fun with it. Much easier on the blood pressure.

    If this is true, then it’s your moral obligation to not go.

    The Maestro composeth.

    Victor is the originator of the InstaTactic. What an evil and twisted mind he has, which is a good thing since he’s on our side. Now if we could just get him to tweak those colors a tad. The text is about two shades too light on that background.

    Read. Laugh. Litigate!

    Kevin at Wizbang offers good advice:

    Quick Tips for a successful Wedding Reception
    Do: Have an open bar
    Don’t: Invite trailer trash

    Visit Susie. She’s recovering from Monkey Pox. If you must bring a gift, I'd suggest anything but tins of popcorn.

    Need a suggestion for that hard-to-shop-for pervert on your list? Try this. Hell, I'm tempted, just for the conversation value. Makes a great paperweight for your desk at work too!

    And finally, Jennifer seems to be having site problems. At least I haven't been able to get there. A conspiracy theorist whispered in my ear that it's sneaky plot to renege on her offer of cheesecake. Hmmmm…

    Posted by Ted at 10:18 AM | Comments (0)
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