This is not my story

If it were, I'm not sure I would tell it.

“I was driving my wife’s car the other day and saw a little round thing in the cupholder, thought it was a cigarrette lighter. I looked at it, it had a little handle you turn and push down so I thought, yeah, it’s a lighter, I wonder what the wife is doing with this- she don’t smoke. So I pushed the button down to see if it still worked and maced myself. It weren’t any damned fun, I’ll tell you that.”

Thanks to Random Nuclear Strikes for the pointer.