October 17, 2005

Via Email

Worth passing along:

Ever wonder what the difference between prison and work is?

Just in case you ever get the two mixed up, this should make things a bit clearer.

IN PRISON...you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
AT WORK...you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON...you get three meals a day.
AT WORK...you only get a break for one meal and you pay for it.

IN PRISON...you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK...you get more work for good behavior.

IN PRISON...the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK...you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON...you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK...you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON...you get your own toilet.
AT WORK...you have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat.

IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK...you can't even speak to your family.

IN PRISON...the taxpayers pay all expenses with no work required.
AT WORK...you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON...you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK...you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON...you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK...they are called managers.

Have a Great Day at WORK!!

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Posted by Ted at October 17, 2005 06:03 AM | TrackBack
Category: Square Pegs

It's even funnier if you actually work in jail ;-)

Posted by: Gir at October 17, 2005 06:51 AM

You probably make more friends in prison too.... primarily because they also have no life.

Although these friends you may not want.

Posted by: Oorgo at October 17, 2005 12:03 PM

Sounds great, but they left a couple key points out. You can't really make an informed choice without knowing that:

AT WORK... You can quit your job whenever you want.
IN PRISON... You get out when you convince a parole board that you've really, really changed. Depending on what got you in prison in the first place, and on just how forgiving the members of the board are, and on whether your state's judicial system has limitations on parole - well, that might be a while.

AT WORK... Getting f*!ked at work means you got edged out of a promotion, or stuck with a bad assignment, or blamed for someone else's idiocy.
IN PRISON... Getting f*!ked means actually getting f*!ked, in an uncomfortable place by the guy with the most cigarettes and anyone he loans you out to.

Posted by: buckethead at October 17, 2005 01:38 PM
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