July 31, 2005

Heartless cad that I am

I disappointed you when I couldn't provide a link to video of the nitrous-injected chainsaw.

Would a V8 powered chainsaw do?

Posted by Ted at 12:44 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Category: Links

Idiot's Guide to the NHL Lockout

I love it! Courtesy of ESPN, here's an excerpt:

One more thing: They moved the nets closer to the boards and changed it so goalies can only play the puck within a 28-foot, trapezoidal area behind the net that extends 6 feet from either goal post. If you skate beyond that area, it's an automatic two-minute penalty, which will be fun if only to hear what they call the penalty. Two minutes for trapezoidal desertion?

(Confused? So am I. They should have gone with Plan B -- tying the goalie to the net with a 10-foot chain, almost like how you would tie up your pet rottweiler outside. Wouldn't that be fun to see goalies occasionally forgetting about the chain, skating towards an errant puck, then cruelly getting yanked backward when the chain extends too far? Plus, they could potentially get caught up in the chain, or use it to trip other players … really, I see no downside here. Although it will be loads of fun to hear Barry Melrose pronounce the word "Trapezoid.")

The entire article is hilarious and still manages to peg the issues. Kudos to The Hockey Pundits for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 08:50 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
Category: Balls and Ice

An Award I'd be proud to display on my mantle

Recently, the Pittsburgh Film Workers Fest was held to celebrate independent horror films.

These are the statuettes awarded (click image for bigger size):


Specially created for the Fest, these are just too cool. The heck with Oscar, I want a Creatch!

Posted by Ted at 06:54 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Category: Cult Flicks

More Podcasting News

Mozongo now has a weekly podcast about the latest and greatest in mobile technology. Check out this week's cast, where they talk about the Motorola Q and the HTC-Wizard smartphones.

Posted by Ted at 06:02 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Category: Links

July 30, 2005

"May You Live In Interesting Times"

Alan Zoe Brain has always been one of the more interesting bloggers out there, both at A.E.Brain and at The Command Post. The last several months have been downright surreal.

Zoe is also one helluva human being, having sent an encouraging email to me when I was fretting about my wife's surgery. He's had some medical issues of his own to deal with, er... She's had some medical issues of her own to deal with.

Regular readers know that I'm not one to rattle the tip cup, but in this case, Zoe's medical bills are going to be far in excess of what insurance might cover. Head on over, read about a drastic, involuntary and unexpected change in lifestyle (there are many posts over a period of time), and if you feel so inclined, drop some bucks in his jar. Thanks.

Posted by Ted at 05:13 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Category: Links

July 29, 2005

Needs fulfilled

Matt posts zombie pictures so I don't have to.

Awesome site redesign too.

Posted by Ted at 07:12 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Category: Links

The Healing Begins

The San Jose Sharks took out this full page ad in the San Jose Mercury newspaper (click to embiggen):


Thanks to Sharks Page for pointing this out.

Posted by Ted at 07:04 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Category: Balls and Ice

Anita Bryant wouldn't like this one bit

Sitting here in front of me are two naked oranges.

Not naked as in bereft of rind, but still naked in a way nature never intended oranges to be. There's a story here. It's short, but makes up for that by being entirely pointless and probably boring.

My wife, Liz, works for a rather large medical practice. A dozen doctors, plus nurses of various kinds, administrative staff and auxiliary support adds up to some seventy or so.

On Friday's they'll often do a "theme" sort of thing, good for morale I guess, where everyone dresses in Hawaiian shirts or some such. Often, food is involved. Today's event was bizarre, it was "bring your favorite dessert" day. I suspect that the practice may be secretly planning to expand services into the nutrition field, or perhaps even dentistry, and this is a ploy to jump start the customer base.

So Liz mentions the upcoming "bring your favorite dessert" day, which automatically translated in my mind to "untested recipe on unsuspecting guinea pigs" day.

At home, if I make something new and I'm the only one in the family that likes it (and why would I cook something I wouldn't like?), then I'll eat it Thanksgiving turkey-style, until I can't stand the sight of it and then throw whatever's left away. Then I'm sick of it and don't want it for a long while... until I get a hankerin' and the whole cycle repeats anew.

But I love these office parties. They give me a chance to whip up something new and experimental without worrying about who's going to like it. If the wife and kids enjoy it, it goes into my recipe binder. If not, oh well.

So I made orange cookies. I don't remember where I got the recipe, but it was a long time ago. I know John posted something similar once, and I've seen variations here and there. I'll post my version sometime in the next few days.

They're pretty good, and (score!) Liz and Robyn like them.

But they call for lots of grated orange zest, so for lunch today, I've got these two naked oranges in front of me.

Posted by Ted at 11:51 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Category: Square Pegs

Carnival of Recipes is up

Over at Munuviana's own Feisty Repartee, Christina is hosting this week's Carnival. Yum.

Posted by Ted at 11:25 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Category: Recipes

July 28, 2005

Short notice but wicked cool

Got a last-minute email from a rocketry bud letting me know that at 9pm last night on the SciFi channel, the show MasterBlasters would be focusing on rocketry.

I'd never seen the show before, but what it seems to be is a set team of generalists (engineers, fabricators, etc), known as the MasterBlasters, go up against a team of "experts" to accomplish a given task for the episode. For last nights' experts, the rocketry guys were led by Erik Gates, who is a legend in high-power rocketry. The rest of his team included his brother Dirk, plus some of their friends who've helped on other big Gates Brother's projects (great photos of their work are available here). You may have seen the Gates Brothers on the show MythBusters, when they assisted in the episode where they strapped rockets to the top of a car.

Back to MasterBlasters. Inspired by the movie Wizard of Oz, each team was given a kid's playhouse made of wood. These weren't flimsy little structures, they were basically mini-houses with an attached porch and full roof, maybe six or eight feet to a side and about that tall as well. The challenge was to launch the house with four rocket motors to the greatest possible altitude, the house had to spin at least three times on the way up (tornado!), at the top the wicked witch on her broom had to be released to fall seperately, and the house - with Dorothy (and her little doggie too!) on the front porch - had to be returned to ground safely.

Quite a task.

I won't give spoilers, because it's quite fun to watch the final results. I found it interesting that, as is usually the case in these kinds of shows, the two teams came up with radically different solutions to the problem. The rocketeers basically used the house itself as the nosecone of their rocket, whereas the Masterblasters built a mast containing their rocket motors to drag the structure behind. It worked very much like the escape tower functioned on the US manned capsules (and I talked about the escape towers here and here with my posts about the Little Joe series of rockets).

Fun episode. If you get a chance, see it. I'll be checking back to see what other kind of fun the MasterBlasters get into in future shows.

Posted by Ted at 11:34 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Category: Rocketry

I'm flattered, but really?

I found a link to an interesting "type of humor" test over at Boudicca's, and gave it a whirl. I like the results, but I wonder, do you think it's accurate in my case? I'd like to hear your thoughts.

(results in the extended entry)

The formatting is hosed because of Rocket Jones' narrow columns.

the Cutting Edge

(52% dark, 52% spontaneous, 38% vulgar)

your humor style:

Your humor's mostly innocent and off-the-cuff, but somehow there's something slightly menacing about you. Part of your humor is making people a little uncomfortable, even if the things you say aren't in and of themselves confrontational. You probably have a very dry delivery, or are seriously over-the-top. Your type is the most likely to appreciate a good insult and/or broken bone and/or very very fat person dancing.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: David Letterman - John Belushi

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 50% on dark

free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 99% on spontaneous

free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 99% on vulgar
Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid

Posted by Ted at 05:55 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
Category: About Ted

I promised myself that I'd harden my heart

But I'm such a little bitch.

The NHL will return to the ice with the busiest night in the league's 88-year history.

Not wanting fans to have to wait one extra day to see their teams, the NHL has scheduled 15 games -- including all 30 clubs -- on opening night Oct. 5. Before the lockout that wiped out all of last season, the record for games in a day was 14, done nine times but not since 2003.

The schedule, released Wednesday, features more divisional games as teams will play their biggest rivals eight times instead of six.

Yeah, I'm freakin' excited again.

Off Wing Opinion has a link to the complete schedule, along with this:

NHL Roundup recaps every NHL game from the previous night, and runs Monday to Friday. Rink notes is a digest of features from around the league that usually runs at lunch time.

While you're surfin' the ice, check out The Hockey Pundits too.

Posted by Ted at 05:36 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
Category: Links

July 27, 2005

My dog is running around the house chasing flies

The title has not a damn thing to do with this post, but it's entertaining as all git-out to watch. Just thought I'd share.

I've been exploring the world of podcasting a bit more and returned (mostly) mentally unscathed.

Ken and Squip have part 1 of their bicoastal camping trip (sounds dirty, doesn't it?) available for your perusal. I think Rocket Jones got an oblique reference - feigned indignation was mentioned - over the supposed review I did on their show. That surprised me, because first, I didn't mean for it to come out like a review, I was just recommending it to my friends, and secondly, I should've made it more clear that "juvenile humor" is right up my alley. Obviously Ken doesn't read Rocket Jones, although they did seem to take my advice and talked about Squipper's breasts quite a bit.

Next up, I listened to the original apologizer, Blue of the Simian Syndicate. Right up front you're warned that the podcast isn't safe for families, children, work, etc. That's what headphones are for. Lemme tell you, the people at work were giving me some odd looks as I sat there working away and laughing my ass off at random intervals. In other words, business as usual.

I want to add to their warning, because the two shows I've listened to have been reeeeeely filthy. I don't believe for a second that these guys are gay, because if they were half as homo-nympho-maniacally inclined as they kid about, they'd never have time to actually speak into the microphone. In other words, they talk the hump, but they don't pump the rump.

Now I don't want to scare you away, because this podcast is awesome. Blue and buds are musicians, and the music on the two shows I've heard has been killer.

Don't miss M.C. Govenator and his newest "Go On and Touch It". I laughed, I cried, I voted Republican.

Now I need to track down Soccer Girl. Take my advice and give a listen, and then you'll understand.

Posted by Ted at 06:18 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Category: Links

This is getting a little silly

I like Oreo cookies. I don't have them in the house very often, because that would be bad for me.

When they came out with Uh-Oh's a while back, I thought it was cute. White cookie with chocolate creme. Not as good as classic Oreos, but tasty.

Their latest is Golden Oreos. Vanilla cookie and vanilla creme. They even suggest dunking them in chocolate milk. Cutsie, but again, they're pretty good.

But they ain't the original.

Posted by Ted at 03:24 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Category: Square Pegs

Techno-Geek coolness - Old school

I've been remiss in not keeping up with the ol' blogroll because, well, things have been hoppin' 'round the ol' homestead (that sentence brought to you by the apostrophe and the letter "d"... what? D's gone? how 'bout "g"? Hell, get "a" in here... screw his contract, in here. Now. Freakin' uppity vowels...).

Oh, you're still here?

Right, um... oh yeah, my blogroll... and, uh... oh! Yeah. I've meant to link to a few people who've been kind enough to link to Rocket Jones and I've yet to reciprocate, so I'll be doing a couple more of these soon.

So, lessee... (geez, what a goatrope this post is turning out to be... quick glance at the title - what the hell does that mean?)

I remember now.

Stu Savory has a blog, and on his blog he talks about things. As one does. (thought I was Helen there for a minute, eh?) Anyways, he's posted a link and pictures and plenty of background information about a PC simulation of the American version of the Enigma coding machine used by Germany in WWII (screw it, that sentence is so brain-dead that I'm not even gonna try and fix it... just reread it until it makes sense*).

Then he follows it up with this post.

As much as I grooved on the cryptography, that link just above is just amazing. Go. Read. Trust me, he writes way better than I (although I do know enough not to say "me" at the end of that sentence, so Ha!).

Really, go check it out. Just don't mention that you saw it here, or he'll probably think less of you. Hell, I would after reading this mess. I'm sooo delinked.

*Ok, I reread it, and you know what? I meant to. That's right, it's on purpose. It's google-bait. So there**.

**I'm serious though, about reading "Some corner of a foreign field".

Posted by Ted at 11:42 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Category: Links

PDA Software Review - Tank T-34

My latest review is up and this time it's a game.

Also, don't forget the Mozongo PDA forums, a small but growing community.

Posted by Ted at 11:25 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Category: PDA Reviews

Great Expectations


Posted by Ted at 05:06 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Category: Square Pegs

July 26, 2005

Stupid childish crap like this amuses me

Turn down the sound before you head over to the Orgasmic Calculator. Every keystroke (hey, I typed that with a straight face!) is accompanied by bedroom noise.

Thanks Wegglywoo (and happy birthday!) (and I hope Callan's ok!!!!) for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 04:14 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Category: Links

July 25, 2005

One of those "Ah-HAH!" moments

This probably explains the popularity of electric razors as Christmas gifts too.

Thanks to Elisson for the pointer.

Posted by Ted at 11:40 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Category: Links

Important Reminder

Momentum is growing for the Open Source Amendment which seeks to restore the property rights taken away from citizens by the Supreme Court decision on Kelo.

Please, each and every one of you, do this:

  1. Go the the Open Source Amendment Petition and sign your name
  2. Spread the word via blogs, email, whatever

Links to details about the Open Source Amendment Project.

Posted by Ted at 11:21 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Category: Links

Resist the Temptation

Does anyone but me think it would be hilarious to name a pet snake "Ruffin"?

Posted by Ted at 06:06 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Category: Square Pegs

Star Cards - 9

Someone was kind enough to scan and post a whole heap of Players Cigarette cards. This particular set of 85 cards is of Actresses, and were released during the late 1930's (from clues like "her latest film was...").

I'll post one of these every once in a while, with a couple of simple links to IMDB.com or a bio if I can find one. You might be surpirsed at some of the familiar names you'll see. The category is "Star Cards" (over on the right column), and you can click there at any time to see all that I've posted. Hope you enjoy.

(in the extended entry)

(click for superstar size)


What can you say about this legend? Nowadays, she's more mythical than real, even moreso than Marilyn Monroe. Read about the real Marlene Dietrich here and here.

Posted by Ted at 04:39 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Category: Star Cards

July 24, 2005

Goody Two-Shoes is going to marry the Filthy Beast?

Over at The Sheila Variations, Red is posting a series on my all-time favorite actor, Cary Grant. I'm in heaven.

Posted by Ted at 06:38 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Category: Links

Double Leaning Jowlers are as rare as hens teeth

Pass the Pigs. Ever play?

Two small dice-sized plastic pigs that you roll like dice. Depending on how they land, you score points. Kinda like barnyard craps, where you keep throwing until you pass the pigs or Pig Out and lose all your points for that turn. If the pigs touch after the throw, that's an Oinker and you go back to zero for the game. Pigs is clean.

And the pigs themselves are a marvel of engineering. They can land on their feet (called a Trotter for 5 points) or on their back (Razorback, also 5 points). Landing on their nose and front legs is a Snouter, worth a big 10, and occasionally you see a Leaning Jowler, where the pig balances on one front leg, his snout and an ear (15 points). Double 'em up and score big with Double Razorbacks or Double Snouters and the triple-20 of the pigs universe, the Double Leaning Jowler.

As rare as Double Leaning Jowlers are - I've seen four or five in my years of playing pigs, including tossing a couple of my own - the rarest positions are the ones you want to avoid. Piggyback is self-explanatory, and Makin' Bacon should be too. I've seen a couple Piggyback's, and only one Makin' Bacon. The penalty for throwing these is severe: immediate loss of the game. Like I said, pigs is clean.

So next time you're with friends, at home or it a bar, crack open a few beers (helluva drinking game) and introduce them to Pass the Pigs. You can find them at many toy and game stores (Spencer's Gifts used to sell them I know). *snicker* I should've know that Amazon would have them.

And if you wanna get a better idea of what I'm talking about, I found an online version that plays just like the real thing.

Heh, he said Makin' Bacon... heh heh.

Posted by Ted at 10:15 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
Category: Square Pegs


Another highlight from the aforementioned Ken and Squip podcast, that I forgot to tell you about.

A club in Oregon (?) has a deal going where the ladies do the ol' bump and grind while customers provide karioke-style accompaniment.

Damn straight I'd be there. Wonder if they'd let me sing Feelings?

Posted by Ted at 08:25 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Category: Links

Liz Gets It

Last week, I just happened to be looking out our front door and saw a hummingbird sipping at the petunias growing in a hanging pot. Hummingbirds are not common in our area.

The next time we were at Wal-Mart, we picked up a cheap plastic hummingbird feeder and a couple of packages of nectar mix. I've checked on it periodically, but couldn't tell if it had been discovered.

Yesterday we were sitting in the car, getting ready to run some errands, when Liz alerted me to the bird feeder. Out little friend had returned. We sat there for a few minutes as she (dulled coloration, I'm assuming female) hovered and sipped from the feeder. She's fast too, when finished she zoomed up and over the house like a fighter jet on fulll afterburner.

I just sat there grinning like a little kid, tickled to death to see that our feeder was being used, and maybe we'd attract more hummingbirds to the yard. Liz commented that I was soooo easy to please.


Posted by Ted at 06:34 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Category: Square Pegs

July 23, 2005

Not Just Sitting There, Doing Something!

When the Supreme Court made it's decision on Kelo, it triggered a firestorm of controversy.

Stephen, over at Hold The Mayo, didn't just pontificate and complain, he acted. After numerous revisions generated by debate and consensus, he's posted the final version of the Open Source Amendment. This amendment to the U.S. Constitution defines "open source" and limits the powers that government has to claim emminent domain over private property.

Now comes the next steps, and we all need to help. It's simplicity itself. Please, each and every one of you, do this:

  1. Go the the Open Source Amendment Petition and sign your name
  2. Spread the word via blogs, email, whatever

Thanks, especially to Stephen, for the reminder about what it means to live in a participatory democracy.

Posted by Ted at 09:52 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Category: Links

Carnival of the Recipes

The Glittering Eye is calling you... you must obey The Glittering Eye... go visit The Glittering Eye...

In related news, this past week I got an email from a lady who owns a bookstore. She told me that they held a Harry Potter party and that she made and served the Cookies Without A Name* that I posted a while back. They were a huge hit.

Thanks for that email Carrie, it really made my day! Now if anyone is near Saranac Lake, New York, stop by the Fact & Fiction Bookshop and let 'em know that Ted sent you.

Ahhhh, the power of cheesy

*The contest to name the cookies was kind of a flop. I had a few wonderful suggestions (Saddam's Coveted Enhanced YellowCake cracked me up, but nobody would understand it in five years), but nothing really jumped out at me. So I'm sticking with - for the moment - C-Cups. Sounds naughty, and the "C" stands for cake, or chocolate, or George Washington Carver.

**New slogan. Maybe... what'cha think?

Posted by Ted at 09:44 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Category: Recipes

Google is your friend (part whatever)

I was commenting on a post below and suggested a google of "RATO packs". Being the curious george sort, I went ahead and took my own advice and lo and behold, lookie what I found:

(caption from 3rd photo down on the page)

Prowler just lifting off from STO launch using RATO pack with AeroTech™ M2500 motor and Aero Pack RA98 retainer.

The M2500 of which they speak is a popular Level 3 certification motor. That's right, we hobbty rocketeers get to play with military-grade propellants, or maybe it's the military that gets to play with consumer-grade rocketry motors.

Posted by Ted at 09:17 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Category: Military Rocketry SciTech

July 22, 2005


I've noticed a macabre trend lately on the road, where people put large decals memorializing their deceased loved ones on their automobile's rear window. To me, they're nothing more than clear vinyl tombstones. I'm not slamming the sentiment behind them, but the concept itself really creeps me out. Someone is getting rich selling these things to old folks too.

Posted by Ted at 05:39 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
Category: Square Pegs

Feel that thump?

That was a huge weight falling from our shoulders. Liz heard from the cardiologist yesterday, and everything is absolutely normal. Everybody had already expected that, but it's great to hear it from the specialist. She's also been cleared to start back on her regular meds, and she's doing fine with her convalescence.

Thanks again to everyone who's sent email, left comments, and thunked good thoughts or sent prayers our way.

Posted by Ted at 06:13 AM | Comments (8) | TrackBack
Category: Seriously

The Ken and Squip Show

Podcasting has been getting quite a bit of attention lately, but I haven't had much time to listen or learn about it. For those not already in the know, podcasting is something like home-made radio, in the same way that blogging is home-made journalism. People create podcasts, which can then be downloaded and listened to on your iPod (hence the name) or other .mp3 player.

Before going on vacation I downloaded several editions of the Ken and Squip Show. They describe themselves thusly:

The Ken and Squip Show, created in October of 2004, is a bicoastal comedy podcast featuring Kenster J and Cindy C. (aka 'squipper' or 'squip'.) Seat-of-the-pants banter is the name of the game for our audio program. It's news, gossip, technology, new music and sex -- a cornucopia of some, all, or none of the those.

Squip is also the proprieter of Dusting My Brain, long-time resident of my sidebar. You may remember her as the winner of a loaf of Rocket Jones cinnamon raisin bread a while back. Since she's still around, I assume that it didn't poison her... although I haven't heard from her since then... hmmmm...

Anyway, I listed to the podcasts and I gotta tell you, I'm hooked. These two are funny as hell. Their humor is often juvenile and the entire show is definitely R-rated. In fact, Apple's iTunes has censored their title because it contains the word "intercourse"! Gotta love that.

Among the highlights was an apology from another podcaster who inadvertantly lost the link to Ken and Squip on his site without realizing it (that's the short version). When he realized what had happened, he apologized to them via his podcast, and believe me, it was the King of all apologies. I had tears in my eyes from laughing so hard.

About the only thing I would change is that Cindy should spend more time talking about her breasts. But hey, that's just me. Oh, and I deserve a shout out, just because.

So yes, I recommend downloading the Ken and Squip Show and giving it a listen. I'll be checking out other podcasts, including the Simian Syndicate, because he's earned a shot after that hilarious apology. Blue, I'm still cracking up over:

I am lower than dinosaur shit. And not poop from some giant mean-ass carnivore, but shit from some pussy plant-eating dinosaur.

That's not an exact quote, but it's close. Yo, Blue, I should get a shout out from you too. Just because.

Posted by Ted at 06:10 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
Category: Links

July 20, 2005

TARC 2006 Rules Announced

This just in:

This year’s contest challenges secondary school students to design, build and fly a model rocket that carries one raw egg to an altitude as close to 800 feet as possible and stays airborne for as close to 45 seconds as possible and returns the egg to the ground safely.

Hmmmm, altitude and duration. Very interesting...

Because of the need for altimeter's in the rocket (altitude measurement), they're limiting the number of entries to the first 750 teams. The National Finals are scheduled for May 20, 2006, at Great Meadow, The Plains, Virginia. Sponsors include 39 major aerospace companies. More information is available at www.rocketcontest.org.

Posted by Ted at 07:23 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Category: Rocketry

Devils, Poltergeists, and Politicians... scary damn stuff

Over at DynamoBuzz, Roberto has the lowdown on the NHL's New Jersey Devils' new home, built on top of an ancient cemetary.

Posted by Ted at 11:28 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Category: Links

Rockets and other things that fly

Rich attended our last club rocket launch (I couldn't make it, dang) and posted a mini-launch report. One of the flyers there is a rather unique individual who does unholy things with aerodynamics (translation: way fun). Rich has links up to the guy's site showing some of the unusual things he flies, as well as his typical nifty photo album full o' rockets and the folks who fly them.

Posted by Ted at 09:58 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Category: Rocketry

Whoever thought this up is no Barry Manilow

Driving home from the grocery store, the radio station went into it's commercial break. Suddenly this Euro-techno-trance music started playing (not entirely misdirected at the demographics for this station), and after a few seconds, a raggedy-ass rap starts in.

Your front window's broke,
The gutters need cleanin',
Closet door stuck,
And your washer ain't machinin'.

Da roof been leakin',
Carpets need cleanin',
Room needs paintin',
And the hot water's broke.

(that's approximated by the way)

Ok, so the idea here is that you should call a handyman, right? Probably some ultra-cool handyhomey.

Not quite. The music fades to background and a veddy English voice starts to tell you about a plumbing company. Yep, just plumbing. I guess the rest of your problems are trivial as long as you got hot water.

And the company name is distinctly Anglophile. I mean, "White Boys with Monkey Wrenches" would be more 'street' than the actual name of the company.


Posted by Ted at 09:39 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Category: Square Pegs

July 19, 2005

PDA Software Review - Spb Pocket Plus

My latest review is up over at Mozongo.

Posted by Ted at 03:26 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Category: PDA Reviews

Recipe Blog

Kat, who's currently moving and on hiatus, also keeps a recipe blog full of her wit and wisdom. She's one of the funniest ladies out there:

Anyway, our cupboard was bare except for a very few staples like salt and pepper and flour. Have you ever tried salt and pepper flour balls? No? Then you haven’t lived. Or you’ve lived better than me. One of those.

I muchly recommend that you check her Kat's Kitchen out.

Posted by Ted at 11:28 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Category: Links Recipes

New PDA Forum

Mozongo has just set up a new forum system to talk about Pocket PCs, Palms, Smart Phones and other gadgets and gizmos. Since it's so new, they're trying to kick-start community growth by offering a free games give-away.

So if you already use a PDA, or are interested in the latest news about phones and handhelds, give 'em a try. Registration is free.

Posted by Ted at 10:06 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Category: PDA Reviews

Hola Mi Amigos e Amigas!

Good morning, things around here are going all right.

My wife Liz had her sinus surgery yesterday and everything looks good (I'm calling it sinus surgery because they stuffed a camera and laser and bone shaver up her nose). It's too early to tell for sure, but now that the pressures on her optic nerves have been eased, we expect her vision problems to go away. She's also still a few days away from being able to go back on her regular medications - you know, the ones that keep her out of her wheelchair. During the last week or so we were treated to a fast-forward version of the physical deterioration that she went through over the course of about 10 years, before the current generation of drugs were developed and available. Personally, I'm a fan of big Pharma, and anyone who bitches about them ought to pick any three family members and imagine them dead and gone, because odds are they would be without those "evil profit-sucking global monsters".

Me? I'm exhausted and wrung-out and working my way through a nightmare list of things to get taken care of around the house. Happy as hell to do it too, because Liz is gonna be ok.

Thanks too for all the kind words and good thoughts and prayers, they're appreciated more than I could ever say.

Posted by Ted at 09:27 AM | Comments (10) | TrackBack
Category: Square Pegs

July 16, 2005

Typical, in so many ways

From QandO:

During a routine patrol in Baghdad June 2, Army Pfc. Stephen Tschiderer, a medic, was shot in the chest by an enemy sniper, hiding in a van just 75 yards away. The incident was filmed by the insurgents.

Tschiderer, with E Troop, 101st "Saber" Cavalry Division, attached to 3rd Battalion, 156th Infantry Regiment, 256th Brigade Combat Team, 3rd Infantry Division, was knocked to the ground from the impact, but he popped right back up, took cover and located the enemy's position.

After tracking down the now-wounded sniper with a team from B Company, 4th Battalion, 1st Iraqi Army Brigade, Tschiderer secured the terrorist with a pair of handcuffs and gave medical aid to the terrorist who'd tried to kill him just minutes before.

They've got a link to the video too.

Posted by Ted at 10:33 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Category: Links Military

July 15, 2005

Mu Food!

Munuviana's very own One Happy Dog Speaks hosts this week's edition of the Carnival of the Recipes! Yay!

Posted by Ted at 08:22 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Category: Links Recipes

Sitting on top of the world

In our Fantasy Baseball league, I'm currently sitting in sixth place out of ten teams.
You know what that means, right?

I'm all alone at the top of the second division!

All Half bow before me, for I am mighty.

Posted by Ted at 07:05 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Category: Square Pegs

Happy Birthday Mookie!!!

Today is her 17th Birthday. She's been very busy doing her school thing, and we don't get to visit her until Sunday (parents get 1 day during the month, and no cell phones are allowed), so we'll celebrate then.

One of the neat things is that each kid gets to nominate one teacher as most inspiring or influential, and those teachers are invited down for a day of recognition. Rachael chose her English teacher, who is also one of the drama teachers (if she'd gone to the Science curriculum instead of Humanities, her Physics teacher would've been the choice. She's been blessed with wonderful teachers).

Since today was the teacher day, we loaded her up with homemade cookies to deliver to Mookie and friends. So it worked out well enough.

Happy Birthday Sweetie!!!!! See you Sunday.

Posted by Ted at 06:44 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Category: Links

Major connectivity problems

My provider has informed me that they're aware of an outage in Northern Virginia. I can only occasionally get online, and not for any length of time in any one stretch.

Talk to you later when they get it fixed.

Posted by Ted at 03:06 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Category: Square Pegs

July 14, 2005

It's not going to keep me up at night

If I have sex with my clone, is it masturbation or incest?

Don't remember where I heard that...

Posted by Ted at 10:10 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
Category: Square Pegs

Sounds about right

From Boudicca's Voice:

... a hurricane is like a prostate exam. You dread it and it's uncomfortable going through it, but once it's over, you want to just wipe yourself off and get on with your life.

That's from Bou's Dad, aka The Great Omnipotent One.

Posted by Ted at 10:43 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Category: Links

Space Shuttle

I haven't had time to keep up with the drama surrounding the latest Shuttle mission. All I can say for certain is that the astronauts recognize the risks in what they've chosen to do for a living, and that they willingly accept them. Now it's up to NASA to live up to their ideal.

The California Yankee has an interesting post up titled: Discovery Launch Scrubbed - Should It Have Been Scrubbed Earlier? There's an interesting discussion happening in the comments too.

Posted by Ted at 08:34 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Category: Links Space Program

July 13, 2005


Our nine hour drive took twelve hours and fifteen minutes, thanks to two meal stops, two gas stops and two shopping stops. We had to stretch it out a little bit to make sure we missed the evening rush hour in Baltimore and DC. Everything went smoooooth.

We like to avoid the turnpikes and toll roads (probably $30.00 in tolls each way, I kid you not!), so we take a slightly longer but much more scenic route. I can't recall the precise road numbers right offhand, but we passed Yale University, and I had to laugh at Sodom Road. Who would want to live there?

We also passed Liberty Road, and it was cool that someone had fastened an American Flag to the streetsign post.

I thought it was great that the place where we met for lunch was on Boston Post Rd, aka Route 1. If you follow that road south long enough, you can hang a right in Woodbridge, Virginia and be within a few minutes of my house. Of course, down here Route 1 is known as Jefferson Davis Highway.

A note about the casinos in Connecticut (is that spelled right?): Both are nice, in very different styles. Foxwoods is Atlantic City nice, but Mohegan Sun is Vegas nice. If you've never been to Las Vegas, then you wouldn't understand. I much prefer Mohegan Sun, because there's so much to see and do, even if you don't gamble.

I gambled a grand total of $5.00 in two days at the casinos.

As we neared home, we were listening for traffic and weather reports. Apparently just south of us they've gotten hammered by rain. We heard that trees are down on the interstate and other major roads, and Route 1 is blocked by a mudslide. We've gotten a few sprinkles and that's it. The storms seem to be staying south too.

We have two very happy dogs.

Posted by Ted at 09:48 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
Category: Square Pegs

July 12, 2005

Blogger sighting

I had the pleasure of having lunch today with Robert, aka Tuning Spork of Blather Review and Stephen of Hold the Mayo.

I had a wonderful time, and we've already agreed to do it again next time I'm in the area. The conversation was better than the food, and the food was very, very good.

Thank you gentlemen, you made this vacation memorable!

Posted by Ted at 07:40 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
Category: Links

What? No donuts?!?!?

Rich has been attending the Prince William County Police Department Citizen Police Academy for the last few months, and just had his patrol car "ride along". Sounds cool, and I recommend taking a look and going back through his archives to read the whole series. The course was pretty comprehensive and very interesting.

Posted by Ted at 09:10 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Category: Links

Things I learned on my summer vacation

(inspired by the CheeseMistress)

1. Just because the locals recommend a place to eat, that doesn't mean the food will be any good. Be especially wary if told that the owner is a good friend.

2. At the end of a long day driving, fill up the tank before bed. Sometime overnight, the place up the hill jacked up the cost per gallon by a nickel. I was prepared though, and went to another station that had been much cheaper the day before. They'd upped their prices by a dime.

3. Yahoo puts a little disclaimer at the bottom of their maps, telling you to verify their directions with another source. Believe them.

4. I will forever wonder about the story behind the FMDRP* hanging from a mile marker on the side of the interstate. Someone carefully placed it there... like a trophy.

5. Every Wednesday, all the dancers at the Diamond Club are dressed in schoolgirl uniforms.

6. Much like the country is peppered with towns named Springfield, in some regions you can't swing a dead cat without hitting Lime Kiln Road or Old Quarry Road. So remember, if you need an instant fake address: 13 Lime Kiln Road, Springfield, (any state). Odds are good that such an address actually exists in more than one county and/or state.

*FMDRP = "Fuck Me Dead" Red Pumps

Posted by Ted at 07:58 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

New Gig

I've now joined the ranks of people getting paid to write, which is odd because unlike so many bloggers, that's never been my dream.

Anyway, visit Mozongoware.com and read the first PDA software review by yours truly (Spb Finance v2.0). This is an ongoing job and four times a month I'll be talking about a newly released application in PDA software.

This also marks the first of a new category: PDA Reviews. And in the very near future a link will be added over on the right for Monzongo, which is a nifty place to find out the latest about PDA's, Smart Phones, and other latest and greatest in gadgetry (nope, didn't get paid to write that).

Tell 'em Ted sent ya.

Posted by Ted at 07:05 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
Category: PDA Reviews

July 11, 2005

Go here and win trivial prizes

Jennifer of the inexplicably named Jennifer's History and Stuff is closing in on 200,000 visitors, and she's giving a prize to the happy visitor. So go, be counted, and dammit, be happy!

Posted by Ted at 10:49 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Category: Links

Opera Gloves, from Classy to Trashy

An outstanding collection of history in words and pictures, devoted to that most elegant of high style: For the Love of Opera Gloves. The photo gallaries are extensive, and the entire site is a wonderful way to lose yourself for a while.

Posted by Ted at 09:33 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Category: Links

Happy Anniversary

24 years ago today, Liz made an honest man of me.

Posted by Ted at 01:44 AM | Comments (11) | TrackBack
Category: About Ted

Not a single "hockey puck"

We saw Don Rickles last night (tonight actually, since I haven't gone to bed yet). He's still funny as hell, and I can only hope that I'm half as spry and energetic as he is at that age.

Jerry Vale was in the audience. Cool.

Posted by Ted at 01:23 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Category: Square Pegs

July 09, 2005

Yocumtown, Pennsylvania

I guess Hicksville was already taken.

(posted from the road, in Scranton, PA)

Posted by Ted at 07:52 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Category: Square Pegs

Intermittent Connectivity

Since it's highly unlikely that the entire internet has been crashing repeated since last night, the process of elimination leaves me to conclude that I'm having a problem at my end. So begins the "dealing with the help desk" process...

Posted by Ted at 07:49 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Category: Square Pegs

July 08, 2005

Torture Level

Now that cranking up the stereo has been redefined as torture, and we've all been tragically reminded about what this whole "war on terror" is about, I think it's time to codify our official "torture" response. In ascending order of harshness:

  • Christine Aguilara
  • Hanson
  • Pat Boone
  • Tiny Tim
  • Roseanne Barr

Yeah, call me barbaric.

Posted by Ted at 05:16 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
Category: Square Pegs

July 07, 2005

I thought we already knew all the answers?

At least that's what some folks want you to believe when it comes to climate change. Some scientists have even suggested that an increase in certain clouds over the Earths' poles could be indication that the process is speeding up.

Or maybe not.

Polar mesospheric clouds - also called noctilucent clouds - form in the summer over the poles at altitudes of about 52 miles (84 kilometers), making them the highest clouds in the Earth's atmosphere. They have been monitored in recent years because they are thought to be sensitive to the temperature and humidity of the atmosphere.

That part is correct.

Researchers using satellite and ground-based instruments tracked the exhaust plume from Columbia's liftoff from Kennedy Space Center in Florida on Jan. 16, 2003. The plume was roughly 650 miles long and two miles wide.

As with all shuttle launches, about 97 percent of this exhaust turns into water - a by-product of the liquid hydrogen and liquid oxygen fuel. The resulting 400 tons of extra water in the atmosphere has an observable effect on cloud formation.

Stevens and his colleagues observed a significant increase in polar mesospheric clouds over Antarctica in the days following the launch.

Oops, this sounds like one of those "ignore the man behind the curtain" moments. During discussions on the subject, I like to remind folks that Earth has *never* had a stable climate in its history. That always makes 'em stop, but it doesn't always make them think.

Posted by Ted at 11:33 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Category: SciTech

Mr. Raider comes home

Tim Brown will sign a one-day contract so that he can retire as an Oakland Raider.

Brown, who turns 39 on July 22, played the first 16 of his 17 seasons with the Raiders, and always hoped to be remembered as the organization's greatest receiver. He was the last former member of the Los Angeles Raiders and the person young players turned to for advice.

The self-proclaimed "Mr. Raider" holds most of the club's receiving records, and his 240 games with the team are the most in franchise history.

Brown was a first-round draft choice by the Raiders in 1988 out of Notre Dame.

Thank you Tim Brown, you've always been a class act and quietly built your credentials proving that you're one of the all-time greats.

Posted by Ted at 06:10 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Category: Square Pegs

Explosions rock London mass transit (UPDATED)

Reports are mixed, with authorities saying some blasts were caused by electrical overloads, yet at least one packed bus was devastated by a bomb. There's no word on the casualty count, except to confirm that deaths have occurred.

This is a police matter only long enough to stabilize the situation and to do the forensic investigations. After that, it becomes a military action to find and neutralize the monsters who intentionally target civilians.

ACLU, obstructionists and revisionists, and the rest of the human ostriches who refuse to acknowlege reality, please crawl back under your rock, slither back into your holes, and rebury your head in the sand, respectively, so that the rest of us can deal with this terrorist threat.

(revised after reflection that this could be an IRA action, although I think that's a rather remote possibility)

UPDATE: Helen of Everyday Stranger has posted that she, her beloved Angus, and her coworkers are all safe and accounted for.

Posted by Ted at 06:05 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Category: Square Pegs

July 06, 2005

Sexy Album Covers

You might remember them, I sure do.

Thanks to Curmudgeonly & Skeptical for the trip down memory lane (nsfw).

Looks like some interesting links to follow way down at the bottom too.

Posted by Ted at 08:40 PM | Comments (1)
Category: Links

France Takes Silver!!!

London, England is awarded the 2012 Olympics.

Jolly good, that.

Posted by Ted at 11:17 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Category: Square Pegs

Thomas Jefferson: Blogger

Q&O posted a link to a thought-provoking article imagining what it would be like to construct the Declaration of Independence online today.

Stephen knows exactly what they're talking about.

Well worth the read.

Posted by Ted at 06:07 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Category: Links

Dear Mr. Policeman

I wasn't going to hit you. Honest! But I was so busted by the time I saw you standing there with your radar gun, and well, I had to do something to distract you before you got my license plate. I'm sorry about your uniform too, because I'm sure the ditch you dived into was muddy from the storms last night. I'd offer to pay the cleaning bill, but then that would kinda defeat the purpose of the whole thing, now wouldn't it?

Not that I'm admitting anything.

Posted by Ted at 05:15 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Category: Square Pegs

Would you, could you, list them all?

An alphabetical list of all the characters who've appeared in Dr. Seuss books.

It seems that a few,
Escaped the review,
But are marked plain to see,
To be completeness-y,
And you can tell which,
So just deal with it, bitch.

That's harder than it looks.

Posted by Ted at 04:58 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Category: Links

July 05, 2005

Sweet & Sour

In the movie Exit to Eden, you get to see the delicious Dana Delaney in several exotic and kinky outfits. She gets naked too.

You also see Rosie O'Donnel dancing on a strip club stage in a bustier.

Posted by Ted at 06:39 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
Category: Cult Flicks


Me (picking up phone): Hello?

Phone: Good afternoon Mr. Phillips. This is not a sales call, I'm taking a brief survey and ---

Me: *sigh* It's Phipps. You can't even be bothered to get the name right, so why should I talk to you?

Phone: I'm sorry sir. I have a few questions to ask and if you would give me a few minutes of your time to respond it would be appreciated.

Me: Questions about what?

Phone: Political issues.

Me: Go for it.

Phone: First, sir, some demographic information (asks about age, sex, zip code, etc., smooth sailing right up until...) Are you a registered voter?

Me: Yes.

Phone: Would you characterize yourself as a Democrat or as a Republican?

Me: That's a meaningless question.

Phone: Pardon?

Me: I'm a white male, raised in a christian home, so according to the head of the DNC, that makes me a Republican, regardless of what I'm registered as.

Phone: *long pause* Would you say your annual income is between --

Me: I make no reportable income. In fact, I've never worked an honest day in my life.

Phone: *longer pause* Of the following issues, which would you say is more important to you? Is it --

Me: Let me explain something to you. I decide who gets my vote based on the issues and who's position I agree with. Sometimes it's a Republican, sometimes it's a Democrat. But because of the rhetoric and namecalling coming from the Democrats and the asinine obstruction of any real debate, I've decided that for the first time in my life I'm going to vote straight Republican. I'm doing this to show Dean and Pelosi and that nitwit from Nevada that I'm tired of their childish antics and that I expect, no, I demand better from them. The Republicans could run Charles Manson for office, and right now I'd vote for him over Jesus Christ himself to make this point. Change the Democratic leadership and offer me some reasonable and rational alternatives, or I keep protesting with my vote.

Phone: *pause long enough to make me think he's hung up* Senator Reid.

Me: Excuse me?

Phone: The Senator from Nevada is Senator Reid.

Me: Well, you know what they say: the only things in Nevada are cactus and hookers. The man is a saguaro-sized prick, but he's got the ethics of a Vegas whore.

Phone (gallant attempt at a closing rally): Thank you Sir, for taking the time to respond --

Me: Nothing personal, son, but I want you to note that I'm pissed about what is happening and what I'm hearing.

Phone (pressing on): -- for taking the time to respond to this survey.

Me: Democrat.

Phone: Pardon?

Me: I'm a lifelong registered Democrat. *click*

I feel like I'm pissing into the wind, but you've gotta make the attempt.

Posted by Ted at 04:45 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack
Category: Square Pegs

Until we get the NHL, this'll have to do

Fortunately, it appeals to the history buff in me too. Check out this amazing site that shows the history of NHL jerseys. Each team, year by year, with a little commentary on trends, comings and goings, and uniforms so ugly they define "stinks on ice". Rollover the pictures to see who won the Stanley Cup that season, and look at the bottom of the pages for bonus uniforms!

Thanks to the Hockey Pundits for the pointer. I expect I'll visit them a lot more often once we get hockey back.

Posted by Ted at 04:12 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Category: Links

July 04, 2005

Have a happy and safe 4th of July!

Not much going on around here. We used to throw a hundred bucks into the kitty with a couple of neighbors and make the run to West Virginia for "real" fireworks, but got turned off a couple of years ago when it started turning into drunken-idiots-with-roman-candles night. The kids are gone this year, plus I get plenty of "whoosh" year round, so we'll probably just sit on our porch and watch the happenings on the street and admire the good stuff going boom over the trees.

Happy Birthday, Uncle Sam.

Posted by Ted at 06:25 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Category: Square Pegs

Interesting, in a completely not-fun kinda way

Mu.Nu had server problems yesterday, so even though I wanted to post I could not. It was pretty much system-wide, although the occasional post was allowed through. Pixy tracked down the problem to an upgrade to PERL (automatically installed) that's incompatible with Movable Type, plus a couple of denial of service attacks. This kind of trouble makes me glad that I'm still a mainframe programmer. I'd go crazy trying to track something like that down.

Posted by Ted at 06:16 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Category: Square Pegs

A first impression is a terrible thing to waste

We delivered Mookie to Governor's School yesterday, making the drive down to Richmond in good time. She's at the University of Richmond campus, which is absolutely beautiful. I wonder how long it's been there, because it's like it was set down into the middle of an old-growth forest, and you can seldom see more than one building at a time for the trees and hills.

So we get there, she checked in, and there was a note next to her name saying she needed to report to the nurse's office. We figured it was for her prescription medication, because she's mildly allergic to insect bites, and she'd OD on OTC Benadryl before it did her any good.

After hauling one load of her stuff to her room, we were headed back down the stairs, following about a half-flight behind a mom and her daughter. I said to Rachael, loud enough to be heard, "The nurse wants to see you before the opening ceremony, so let's go now. As long as you take your medication every day, you won't be a danger to any of the other children."

The mom in front of us spun around and looked at us, and I swear I've never seen a more horrified look on a person's face. Those wide-eye'd cartoon double-takes? Yep, like that.

She went through a door on the next landing, while Rachael and I continued down the stairs, me laughing like a maniac and Mookie hitting me and telling me to behave. She was giggling too though.

Later, we were bringing the last of her stuff up, which was a couple cases of bottled water and Rachael was telling me that Mom got her a bunch of those single bottle lemonade mixes. Mookie is a lemonade fiend, so she was very appreciative. Walking past a line of students and parents waiting to check in, I told her that making her happy was the second best thing about being a parent. Not seeing it coming, Mookie asked what the first best thing was.

"Telling you 'no'."

That got quite a few laughs too, but I'd bet it was all from the grups.

Posted by Ted at 05:44 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Category: Boring Stories

July 03, 2005

Mini-rant of no real importance

Quite a while ago our local "community" magazine started a monthly themed recipe contest. At first I was anticipating all the new recipes to try, but now I can't even look at the page without becoming enraged.

Here's a sample First Place winner:

Creamy Chicken Chili

1 cup chopped cooked chicken
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 can white beans
1 tsp chili powder (optional)

Mix and heat together in saucepan with enough water to make it chili thick. Serve with shredded cheese on top.

I shit you not.

Out of all the other recipes to pick (a page full), that one was judged best. The "chef" also remarked that sometimes she uses black beans instead because that makes it more "authentic".

I'm sorry, but the only way "authentic" is related to that travesty is that they're both in the dictionary. And using black beans would make it look like bugs floating in pus. I'm just saying.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to find a stamp so's I can submit my recipe for "Lightly Scorched White Bread with Butter". I figure I've got a real shot, especially if I mention that sometimes we use whole wheat instead.

Posted by Ted at 04:48 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
Category: Recipes

July 02, 2005

Ok God, knock it off already

Rocket Jones has just undergone it's longest stretch of inactivity in its two year life. I've been... distracted... which is as good a word as any to describe my mind lately.

If you've been around for any length of time, you know that my wife has some rather severe medical problems (check the "seriously" and/or "boring stories" archives if you wanna know). While difficult, they're not life threatening, so we count our blessings and get on with life.

For the last couple of months, she's been seeing various specialists as they try to figure out the latest medical mystery. Each one has given us good news, in that a whole roster of very scary possibilities have been eliminated one by one. But each negative test result only ratcheted up the tension, because no one could point at something specific and say, "ah-Hah! Here's the problem!"

I've been a basket case, and I have the easy job, being the understanding and supportive husband. You can imagine the state of mind Liz has been living with.

On Tuesday I got a phone call from the Urgent Care clinic, letting me know that Liz was there with chest pains. By the time I'd gotten there, most of the lab work was complete and they knew for sure that it wasn't a heart attack. Diagnosis: stress and possible panic attack. No question as to what could be the underlying reason.

On Wednesday, we got the "ah-Hah!" moment we've been waiting for. It's not a brain tumor (thank God), but Liz will have to undergo some rather delicate surgery in the very near future. They'll be going up through the sinuses with their lasers and cameras, which is good because they won't have to drill holes in her skull. The bad part is that there is a remote possibility that she may lose her eyesight in the process. The surgery isn't all that uncommon, but there are definite risks because it's working near the finicky bits around the eyes.

Once it's done (and we're assuming it'll be successful), she'll have to stay on meds for the problem for life, and have annual checkups with the specialist.

We go on a long-overdue (and badly-needed) vacation week after next, and on the following Monday Liz goes in for her surgery.

Think good thoughts people, it couldn't hurt. Thanks.

Posted by Ted at 05:39 PM | Comments (17) | TrackBack
Category: Seriously
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